Prayer Circles

Dear Selvam, Bless your heart, I know you are in so much pain right now for it's only been two months for you. God Bless you. I feel the pain you are in. Sandy gave you some very good advice about what to do about where to live. I learned in a support group too that you should not make any major decisions in the first year, especially with selling your home because of the deep grief you are you cannot make a clear cut decision. I know it's painful for you to be there, especially alone. Could your sister come and live with you? I still haven't done anything with Joe's things. He wasn't living with us at the time, but we moved everything back home and I haven't touched them since. I don't know if I ever will. They aren't out in the open and aren't bothering anyone, so why should I do anything with them? You will know when the time is right for you. Allow yourself all the time you need to grieve, it hurts but it's the only way through it. And if you think you are depressed go to your dr. I had to do that and it helped tremendously. And keep on praying, God knows your pain, and when you can't pray, there are others out here standing in the gap lifting you up always. God Bless you Selvam. Dear Lord, I lift up Selvam to You today and ask that You comfort her grieving heart for her precious daughter Solange. Let her feel Your loving arms around her at this moment. Help her with any decisions she needs to make regarding her home and Solange's personal things. Give her Your peace that passes all understanding as Your word says. In Jesus name, Amen<>< God Bless you Selvam.
Love, Yvonne<><

Thank you Yvonne fro your advice and prayers, I went to my Dr. yesterday and she gave me the same advice as you all have given me, not to make any decisions right now, and to take one day at a time, if I want to stay at my sister's house today then do so, if I want to stay in my home so do it. She also recomended to me not to go to the cemetary just yet, she said My Solange is an spirit of God, and Angel in Heaven, and is not in the cementary, and I should not look for more pain, I have all I can take right now. My Dr. lost a son 9 years ago so she understand the pain and all. I thank God everyday for helping me find this prayer circle, I find so much love and understanding from all of you, and that is such a relief.God Bless you all. Love Selva

Hello Yvonne, it's so nice to see a post from you! I thought perhaps that you were having a rough time when we didn't hear from you and I was worried. I know that Joe's Anniversary is coming up soon, then Thanksgiving, the Holidays, and I know (don't we all!) how tough it can be when we have so many 'special days' in our lives, and so close together. I'm so sorry to read about your husband, God bless him, he has you for loving support, but I know what men are like, my husband will talk to me about having a rough time, but he'd never mention a word to his co-workers or friends. We women can talk more easily about our feelings, and men tend to hold them back, especially when it comes to family matters and the grieving of their child. And to top it all off, people outside the immediate family just don't understand after a while that we're still very much hurting inside, even if it is 3 years. They just don't understand that our lives have been forever changed, and we have to struggle with those changes. And I found myself in this 3rd year that I really missed my Shane, by now the shock and disbelief have worn off, reality has set in, 3 years have gone by without hearing his voice, seeing him, holding him, and I'm sure it's the same for you. I think in some ways the 2nd and 3rd year can be just as rough.
And you've had such wonderful events happen in your life this year, Aaron's wedding, the birth of your two little grandbabies, but all these wonderful events have occurred since Joe passed, so they're bittersweet events, wishing that Joe was there for all of them. A family member is missing from them all, and that family member is our beloved child. I know what you mean, it is very hard knowing what to do with our feelings. I still sit sometimes and just cry, and pray to God to help me back up, but I just really miss my Shane as I said, and I know it's the same with you too. It's hard learning to live with this, isn't it. All we can do is trust in Our Lord, ask Him for His help, and know that He still has a plan for us and will always be there for us through the good times and especially the bad. You're so fortunate that you and your husband can lean on each other for support, and that he can talk to you about how he's feeling, that's terrific. I know you must be having lots of fun enjoying your new grandbabies, what a wonderful blessing they are in your life! I haven't become a grandmother yet, but hope to one day experience the joy of being one. Our oldest son is too involved with his career and schooling right now, he has a wonderful girlfriend, but no immediate marriage plans. Well, I'm really happy that you posted Yvonne, I know these upcoming days are going to be very hard on you, your husband and family, but you know that you have our love, support and prayers to hopefully help all of you through. And we'll say extra prayers for your husband, that he'll find some peace too, Praise God that you both have each other. Post back whenever you feel like it, the week just doesn't seem the same here unless we receive one of your wonderful posts and prayers for all. Much love to you, and many prayers too,
Luv Sandy

I lost Oliver (who was 15 )on the 9th of October after he fought for 22 months against bone cancer, please say a pray for him. He is missed greatly but his strength and courage are an inspiration for thousands,

Hello nomisT and welcome to the Circle. I'm so very sorry to read about your loss also, your beloved son Oliver, so young too. Know that he and you and your family will be prayed for here, God bless you all,
Luv Sandy

Hi nomyst I'm glad you came into this prayer circle I lost my daughter aug 15 2002 and I know about your pain , this Angels of God like Verna Sandy and everybody in this circle are a wonderful help for us new bereaved moms keep on posting here and you will find a lot of help as I'm doing now with this wonderfuld moms, we are all going through the same pain. May God Bless You. Selvas

DEAR NOMIT,
SO SORRY TO HEAR ABOUT THE LOSS OF YOUR SON OLIVER, KNOW THAT YOU WILL BE IN MY THOUGHTS AND PRAYERS LIKE SO MANY OTHER MOMS HERE AT THIS PRAYER CIRCLE. GOD BLESS YOU, LUV DEBBY

DEAR SELVAM,
I'M SO SORRY ABOUT THE LOSSS OF YOUR DAUGHTER, MY THOUGHTS AND PRAYERS GO OUT TO YOU AND YOUR FAMILY. I LOST MY SON ON AUG.14,2000 AT THE AGE OF 19. TWO DAYS AFTER HIS BIRTHDAY. SO THE MONTH OF AUG. IS SO SO HARD FOR ME AND MY FAMILY. PLEASE KNOW YOU WILL BE IN MY THOUGHTS AND PRAYERS. GOD BLESS YOU, LUV DEBBY

DEAR LOVE2U, SHANER,
I JUST WANT TO SAY THANK YOU FOR YOUR PRAYERS. I HAVE HAD SOME VALLEY DAYS BUT GOING TO WORK AND SEEING THE CHILDREN SMILE WHEN THEY COME IN TO SCHOOL IT'S LIKE A SHIELD WAS PUT OVER MY FACE. I JUST CHEER RIGHT UP FOR THEM. THIS WAS THE BEST THING I COULD OF DONE AFTER LOSING MICHAEL. I'M FROM A FAMILY OF NINE BROTHERS AND SISTER AND I'M THE SECOND TO THE OLDEST AND THE TWINS ARE THE YOUNGEST(26) SO I HAVE ALWAYS BEEN AROUND CHILDREN. I'M JUST SO HAPPY THEY ARE HAPPY BEING AROUND ME AND LEARNING FROM WHAT I HAVE TO OFFER THEM. KNOW THAT YOU ARE IN MY THOUGHTS AND PRAYERS. LUV DEBBY

DEAR FATHER,
TODAY I PRAY THAT THE LOVE OF YOU WILL BE IN OUR HOMES TODAY; MAY THE LOVE OF THE LORD JESUS KEEP OUR HEARTS AND MINDS ALWAYS, MAY YOUR LOVING SPIRIT GUIDE AND BLESS THE ONES I LOVE, FATHER,MOTHER,BROTHERS,SISTERS, AND FRIENDS AND I PRAY THAT YOU WILL KEEP THEM SAFE IN YOUR LOVE, AMEN.

Hi Deb, hope you enjoyed your couple of days off, and had lots of TLC! The valley days are hard, aren't they, but they do pass, and prayers helps to bring you back up, Praise Our Lord. I think it's wonderful the work you do with the children, and yes, I bet they do bring a smile to your face, and plenty to their's too! We all get great joy out of giving, and just look at what you're giving to all these wonderful children. You're helping them, and in turn, they're helping you, I just know that Michael is so proud of his mom. Another beatiful prayer from you Deb, thank you for posting it for all, love and prayers to you too Deb,
Luv Sandy

To Sandy and all of you here in the prayer circle, I think of you all often and your own pain and loss and I pray we may all survive the losses of our children and loved ones! I hope you are all doing well! I am doing well most of the time and feel that I have come a long way since the loss of our Jason. I know that we will always stay connected in our hearts and prayers because we all share the bond of losing a child. I am trying to keep busy and move forward as much as I can. I'm thankful to all of you for helping me through a very tough time in my life. You, Sandy are aways in my thoughts and your special kindness and empathy is so appreciated by all of us! What a good thing you have done to help so many in Pain during their losses. Thank-you!!! I will keep in contact with you and the others in the prayer circle. You will remain in my thoughts always. Love, Barbara

Barbara, what a lovely surprise to hear from you! You've often been on my mind too, hoping that you're doing alright, and slowly coming to your own terms over Jason's passing. I'm very happy to hear that you've come a long way, each of us has our own Journey to walk, and walk it in our own way. But the common bond that we all share brings us all together in a way that other's wouldn't understand. We are all heart connected as you say, and I know that I'll never forget all the wonderful moms that have visited here and posted.
Keeping busy is a very good thing, and even though it's very hard sometimes, it's good to hear that you're slowly moving forward. Don't despair if you backslide sometimes, grief does that, it's two steps forward, and then sometimes one step back. But it's all part of our Journey, and a very normal part of the grieving process. I hope your daughter is doing better too. Even though we haven't heard from you in a while, you're still in our prayers, and always will be. Thank you for your very kind words, but it's moms like yourself and everyone else that make this Circle as wonderful as it is, I am blessed tenfold by just knowing all of you. You've always been in my heart and thoughts too, Barbara, and I pray that things are getting a little easier for you, more peace in your life.
Yes, please don't be a stranger around here, we all love and miss you, so post whenever you have the time or just feel like it! It's so nice to hear from you, love and prayers to you Barbara,
Luv Sandy

Hi Sandy, Verma and all you Angels that helps us new moms in this circle. I spent the weekend at my sister's home and yesterday went back home. Its hard and painful to see all of Solange's pictures, her room, her toothbrush, but I guess I have to go on, but the pain does not get any easier. I cry a lot and also pray a lot for Solange, all you wonderful moms and may God help us all. Love Selva

Hi Selva, I was wondering how you were doing. It must have been so hard on you to go back home, and see all of Solange's things just as she left them.
I know sweetie how hard it is to look at all these things, and think in your heart that Solange should still be here. That first year I expected my Shane to come walking through the front door, and my nightmare would end. I know how badly you're hurting right now, every mom on these pages has gone through this awful pain, and still does on valley days, but I think it shows the great love we have for our children and always will. That's one of the reasons it hurts so much. You cry all you want, it's helping to let your pain out, it's still so early for you with your loss, we all understand. Love never dies, it's eternal, so hold onto that thought and one day you'll see your Solange again. Keep praying, and as Yvonne said, there's a lot of us and others standing in the gap for you when you feel you can't, we're all here for you. I'm so happy for you that your sister lives so close, and can be there for you if you need her. Hang in there Selva, we all love you and are praying hard for you, may you feel Solange around you, and the love of Our Lord, who knows of your great pain right now, and is right by your side. Much love and prayers to you, and you post whenever you feel like it, we're all here for each other. Talking about your pain is a good way to help to release some of it, and remember to be good to yourself too, grieving is hard work, emotionally and physically. Lots of love and prayers to you,
Luv Sandy

HELLO ALL YOU WONDERFUL MOMS!
~ ~ ~ I just signed on and saw all the wonderful posts from everyone, and it just lifted my spirits! Hi Babbs! Nice to see a post from you! :) I've been a little down in the valley and health wise, I have a few concerns. Nothing that God can't handle, but I have had to rest more even though I feel there is sooo much I need to get done, you know? Anyway, I go to see my doctor tomorrow, so keep me in your prayers. I know everyone will. :) This is my main doctor; the one that doesn't play! Ha-ha! Sandy, Deb, and Yvonne knows this lady well! :) So, pray that she won't be too hard on me, or walk out on me (like she has done in the past) once she learns I haven't been following directions! ha-ha! :) And I wonder why my only grandson has problems following directions as smart as he is! ha-ha! Anyway ... Moving right along...
Sandy ~ As always, thank you for the great job you are doing for God, and for all of us moms. We know you feel we help you just as much as you help us, but it warms our hearts to give you the praise ... for always being here and providing your wonderful words of wisdom and comfort to all. And like the other moms, I just thank God for using you in such an awesome way to help sooo many!

Also,I wanted to say that there is so much love and compassion in this wonderful circle until one can't help but feel better after a visit here.:) Many times I sign on and just read, read, read ... without posting, and I always feel so grateful to be a part of all of this! Even when I read a post that indicates that someone is having a valley day, I still feel the joy of knowing that before long, the prayers that we pray daily will soon lift them up out of the valley again. And once this happens, that mom always gives back ... many time even before they themselves have felt the effects of the prayers of others! That's one of the reasons I love to say, "Isn't God wonderful!" He is sooo good to us bereaved moms!:)I hope everyone who reads this understands what I'm trying to say. Somehow I feel sure that everyone does, and that they all agree. :) I just thank God for all of you, and felt led to tell everyone so!!!

Please know that each and every one of you are in my thoughts, which places you in my heartfelt prayers! I pray that God will continue to give each of you many hilltop days presently, as well as in the many special days ahead. I also pray that God will continue to provide those precious moments of peace for which we all pray! God blessings to all!
Much love eternally ...
LOVE2U
Verna

Deb, ~ I just wanted to say how much I admire your strength and courage, and the wonderful prayers you pray for all of us. I also know what you mean about the kids you work with. My students really helped me get through those early days right after I lost Diane. I really miss teaching, and I have such warm and loving memories of those days! I think all children are such a wonderful blessing! God bless you, Deb, for the work you are doing with them.
Much love,
Verna

Dear Selvam ~ I just wanted to let you know that I am in total agreement with Sandy concerning her advice to you about not making any quick changes; especially during the first year. That first year after losing my daughter, Diane, I literally lived in her old room. :) It's been over six years since God called her back to heaven and I still find comfort in spending much time there. I have a couple of video tapes of her, but still am not able to view them often. It takes a long time, but in the end, you will know what works best for you. So, for the first year,just give yourself time to grieve deeply before making any long term decisions. I was in such shock, I still don't remember a lot about the funeral. And, although I have an audio tape of the funeral services, I still have not played it; not even once ... I probably never will. But, I know it's there, if I ever decided to. So, you see, there really is no reason to rush anything. Be very patient with yourself and give yourself lots of time!
Oh how well I can recall those times when it hurt so much to look at my Diane's pictures! During those intense moments, or hours, when the pain was so very great, I eventually learned to take the photo and put it away for however long I needed to. But I always ended up putting it back when I worked through that period. This may work for you. In the end, you will have to decide what does and what does not work; at any given time. The thing to remember is what ever pain your are feeling, there are those of us who can identify with what you are going through. We will never get pass our loss, but in time and with love and prayers of many others who have lost a child, we do learn to move on a little at a time. Your beautiful is near you in spirit and prays for you daily! I will keep you in my heartfelt prayers!
LOVE2U,
Verna

Dear nomisT ~ I am so sorry to read about the loss of your precious, and brave Oliver. It always breaks our hearts to lose a precious child. The pain is unlike any we have ever known. It takes a lot of time to learn to live with that pain. Please know that you and your precious son, and the rest of your family will be prayed for here. God bless you and keep you all in His loving arms.
Much love,
Verna

Dear Yvonne, ~ ~ ~ I send you 3 doves from heaven to remind you that God has your back! :) He will never allow you to fall of far down in the valley that you can't find your way back! :) I know that it's so hard on you with your Joe's anniversary coming up on Nov. 20th. That is a very painful day for me as well. It was on Nov. 20th that my dear mother had her stroke, while spending a few days with me at my home. Although she survived for 6 months and 2 days thereafter, I still find it hard to get through that day! Please know that my prayers will be with you and I know yours will be with me. Together, and with the prayers of all who post here, we will get through that day! :) God bless you, Yvonne, and as always, I thank you for the beautiful and heartfelt prayers for all! We love you dearly and will keep you in our prayers! Kiss those wonderful grand babies for us and enjoy your heavenly blessings!
Much love,
Verna

Hello Verna, you're in our prayers for your health and a good report from your Dr. Also that she'll stay in the room with you, and NOT walk out, ha, ha! Try and be good and follow her orders, :). Our love and prayers are with you always,
Luv Sandy

Hi Verna. You and all mothers in the circle have been in my prayers,How did it go with your doctor, please let us know, I had one of those terrible "valley days" yesterday so I went to my sister's house and slept there, I'm going back home today. My pain does not go away for even a second, I miss Solange so very much, I want to see her and hear her voice so badly. I'm praying hard, I guess that is all I can do. Love Selva

Hi Selva, keep praying sweetie, and you know that our prayers are with you. You have to go through this awful pain, but hopefully our prayers and your own will give you the necessary strength to endure it and in time, it won't hurt as bad. It's so nice that you have your sister so close to you that you can spend a night there when you're feeling so down. Just take one day at a time for now, it's still so early in your grief. Much love and prayers to you, we're always here for you,
Luv Sandy

Hi Sandy. Have you heard from Verna? I keep on praying taht she is OK. Thank you for answer my messages. you have no idea what it means to me. It is like I know you all wonderful Angels understand what I'm going trough. I went to see my Dr. today, she undestand for she lost one of her sons 9 years ago she advised me to staoy in my sister 's house for the weekend, for I have not slept for the last 2 nights and my stress its up to the limit. so I will do that. Please If you hear from Verna, post it so we can all know how she is doing. I pray to our Lord taht she is OK. Love Selva