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Shane Whalen
This Prayer Circle is Dedicated to my son Shane Whalen Who Passed Away On March 15, 1999 at the Age of 24, & All Other Children


Start a prayer circle for bereaved parents who have lost a child.


There are many of us out there who have lost a child, and it is devastating. It changes the outlook on life, plunges you into a depression, and you think that the feelings and thoughts you have nobody else could possibly relate to. I think a prayer circle for bereaved parents would only benefit us and help us on our journey of grief. This Circle is one of Love, where a Grieving Parent can safely come to for Prayers, and to talk about their feelings.

 
Shaner -10/14/2000
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DEBORAHPOO
10/12/2002 07:43

DEAR JANICE,
SO SORRY FOR YOUR LOSS. THAT DATE IS A SPECIAL DAY FOR ME AND I'LL REMEMBER TO SAY A PRAYER FOR YOU AND YOUR FAMILY ON THIS DAY. I TOO WAS AND SO EXCITED TO GET UP SOME MORNINGS AND JUST SIT AND READ ALL THE POSTS. I FEEL SO GOOD TO KNOW THAT I'M NOT ALONE ANDOTHERS HAVE AND STILL FEEL THE PAIN FROM THE LOSS OF A CHILD OR CHILDREN. SHANER AND VERNA AND YVONNE WHERE A GREAT HELP FOR ME AND I STILL GO TO THEM FOR SUPPORT ON MY VALLEY DAYS. I DON'T KNOW WHAT I WOULD OF DONE IF I DIDN'T COME UP ON THIS SITE. SOME HOW I RECIEVED AND EMAIL AND I'VE BEEN HERE EVERY SINCE. I'M SO SORRY TO HEAR ABOUT YOUR LOSS AND I WILL KEEP YOU AND YOUR FAIMLY IN MY THOUGHTS AND PRAYERS. GOD BLESS YOU. LUV DEBBY

DEAR FATHER TODAY I THANK YOU FOR THE FRIENDS I HAVE MEET AT THIS PRAYER CIRCLE AND I THANK YOU FOR GUIDING ME AND GIVING ME THE STRENGHT AND SENDING THSES PEOPLE MY WAY TO COMFORT ME TODAY I PRAY FOR YOU TO GIVE THEM EVERYTHING YOU GAVE TO ME AND OTHER PARENTS, SO THEY DON'T HAVE SO MUCH PAIN ON THEIR JOURNEY OF GRIEF, I ASK THIS IN YOUR NAME, THE FATHER, AMEN.


shaner
10/14/2002 14:43

Hi Deb, nice to see you posting again, missed you! I hope your work and your schooling are going well for you, I know you're a busy lady, but we still want to hear from you!
Monday, the start of a brand new week, my prayer for all is that the peace of God will fill you all this week, and ease the pain and grief ever present in our hearts. Thank you Father for all the blessings and graces you've given us through Your Son, Jesus, and we continue to lean heavily on Him as we travel the Journey. Much love and prayers to all,
Luv Sandy


tkh63
10/15/2002 13:16

Sandy,
Thank you for understanding. I did go to a grief meeting and although it was an extremely emotional and exhausting thing to do it did help somewhat.
I went to the coast this weekend, I live in Oregon, and it was such a beautiful weekend and what a nice time we had. The tears still come but the arms of my children are always there to hold me and sometimes cry with me. My good friends and their children were also with us and they all had such a good time. It felt good to laugh. I missed Kevin so much and that overtook me at times. I never quit looking for him. It's those split seconds where I am still counting 5 heads instead of 4 and I know he is gone. Life doesn't get any easier but I am encouraged by what the other mom's have written. Maybe some day I too will be there. My name is Teri in case anyone would like to call me by my name.
Lord, I ask for strength and comfort for all families out there that must continue on with a life that is missing someone they love sooo much. Give our children the help they need in adjusting to their new home. And help them to progress in their new mission. Amen


selvam
10/15/2002 16:47

Hi all mothers. It's been 2 months today since my daughter was called by God. The pain it's heavier and I missed her so very much. I pray at all times, for Solange, for myself and for parents that have lost their child. Thank God for this circle. I builded a memorial for Solange Menendez, if you ever want to visit I will thank you so much. It helps to be around people who you can relate to and understand your pain. May God Bless you all. Selva


shaner
10/16/2002 10:12

Hello Janice, I just saw your post now on the last page, I thought it was filled up already, and started reading this page, not realizing that you and Deb had posted! I'm so happy that you posted back, yes, you're a part of this wonderful Circle now, so please post whenever you feel like it! I hope you're feeling better, experiencing the peace that only God can provide, and you've posted a beautiful prayer for us all, thank you, I know that all of us appreciate it. May God's blessings and peace be upon you, Janice, and love and prayers to you,
Luv Sandy


shaner
10/16/2002 10:37

Hi Teri, it's so nice to see a post from you too! I'm so very happy for you that you had a good weekend, and were with friends and your children, and were able to have some laughs. Your children sound like they give you so much love and support, and that's what you need at this time. I know, sweeite, there'll always be that missing child, and that brings up so many feelings. I have one other son besides my Shane, but he's an adult and works and lives in another city, so I don't have any wee ones around to look after the way you do. Or counting missing heads. That must be so hard on you, when the occasion arises. Those split seconds when we experience our intense grief can be very overwhelming for us. I'm also very happy to read that the other mom's who post here have helped you too. We're all on the same Journey, travelling the same road, and we all understand how each other feels, losing a precious child. So you did attend a meeting? They can be very, very emotional and I remember the first time I went, I didn't want to go back, but I did, and stayed with them that first year. They're not for everybody, we all manage our grief in our own ways, that feel right for us. Someday you will be 'there', but it takes a while, you grieve at your own pace, and give yourself plenty of time. There are no hard and set rules for grieving, everybody grieves at their own pace and way. But I'm very happy for you that you had a good weekend, that God's peace was with you, bringing you some comfort in the form of friends and your children. Loved your prayer too, and please post back whenever you feel like it, you're a part of this Circle too, our love and prayers are with you, together we can help support each other with the help of Our Lord. May God bless you today, and keep you close to Him,
Luv Sandy


shaner
10/16/2002 10:53

Hello Selva, I can feel your pain right through your post, your Solange's special day must be so painful for you. You're so right, the pain can be so heavy at times, and with God's blessings, you will come to a better place in time. I know you must miss your precious Solange so much! Our children are with us in spirit, but it's the physical loss of them in our lives that causes such great pain at times. We're all here for you Selva, and you know that God hears your sweet prayers for your beautiful daughter and yourself and others. That's wonderful that you built a Memorial Site for Solange, it's a way of honouring her spirit, and the life and love that she gave to all who were touched by her. It does help to be around other moms who understand, so please post here as often as you want. Our love and prayers are with you, and I ask Our Lord to wrap you in His arms today, and take some of the pain away, give you some much needed peace. Love and prayers to you,
Luv Sandy


SELVAM
10/17/2002 16:55

I pray for all you moms that helps us so much. I just received a letter from the Organ Donors Assoc, I made that rough decision of donating some or her organs, today I learned she saved a 48 year old male from FortMyers, a 30 year old female from Miami, a 12 year old female from Tampa , a one year old from Orlando , a 63 years old female from Athens, Greece a 55 year old female from High Sprins and a 6 years old from Miami, I al learned that they all are doing well and will now be allowed to lead normal and productives lives. It was not their time to go yet. I fell proud that Solange saved so many lives, I'm sure God is as proud of her as I am. I miss her and cry for her 24 hrs a day, but keep on praying also 24 hours a day. God Bless You All. Selva


joeyrick
10/17/2002 22:26

Hi Sandy and all other parents.Rick's 9th anniversary date was on 10/08.This year was a little hard for me,I kept asking questions like would have he been married/children,what kind of a man would he have been,when he was living he was a very kind,loving and gentle person.We always had boys staying here after their parents kicked them out. I'm sure he doing the same thing in Heaven. On the other hand our daughter was married in a beautiful ceremony on 10/12/02.Rick,Joey and the groom's father were remembered in a poem at the end of the poem my husband,the groom's mother and myself each released a butterfly in their memory.Next month 11/15 will be the 2nd anniversary of our older son.Sandy and everyone please pray that our daughter in law lets us see our grandson on that day. love to all and may the Lord be with all of you Peggy (mother of Rick&Joey)


joeyrick
10/17/2002 22:26

Hi Sandy and all other parents.Rick's 9th anniversary date was on 10/08.This year was a little hard for me,I kept asking questions like would have he been married/children,what kind of a man would he have been,when he was living he was a very kind,loving and gentle person.We always had boys staying here after their parents kicked them out. I'm sure he doing the same thing in Heaven. On the other hand our daughter was married in a beautiful ceremony on 10/12/02.Rick,Joey and the groom's father were remembered in a poem at the end of the poem my husband,the groom's mother and myself each released a butterfly in their memory.Next month 11/15 will be the 2nd anniversary of our older son.Sandy and everyone please pray that our daughter in law lets us see our grandson on that day. love to all and may the Lord be with all of you Peggy (mother of Rick&Joey)


LOVE2U
10/19/2002 02:19

Dear ~ Selvam ~ I am sorry that you have lost your beloved daughter. I, too, have lost a beloved daughter. My daughter, Diane, had just celebrated her 36th birthday on August 16, 1996. She was killed August 31, 1996, in a tragic chain reaction wreck caused by drunk driving. We never learned who caused the wreck, because all but one driver was said to have tested positive for DWI. The test results of the driver who first hit the car in which she was a front seat passenger was said to be pending. We never learned the results of that test. So, chances are, we will never know.

It has been a long six years for my husband, my other daughter, Cheryl, who had just turned 29 on April 3, 1996, and for me. Fortunately, Cheryl had just paid us a visit and she and Diane got to spend two whole weeks together; celebrating Diane's birthday and Cheryl's little son's birthday, which was also in August. On August 29, 1996, Cheryl and the baby returned home to San Antonio, TX. Diane was running late, and did not make it to the airport in time to say good bye, because Diane, being a loving, overly protective, and caring big sister, had stopped to get extra pampers for the baby. :) She was then caught in traffic and missed seeing Cheryl and the baby off. She and Cheryl did get to talk on the phone early that morning, however, concerning the pampers. :) In the book that I am writing, (with luck, to be published sometime next year) ... Cheryl recalls this conversation under a topic she chose because they were the very last words she and her big sister said to each other. :) During their final telephone conversation, (planning to meet at the airport) ... The last thing they said to each other was ... "I'll see you there!"
LOVE2U

Dear God:
Thank you for all of your blessings. Thank you for helping me to get through the difficult valley days. Thank you for reminding me that even as I grieve the loss of my precious Diane, I still have much to be thankful for. When the tears swell up in my eyes, during the valley periods and special days, remind me, Lord, that it's OK to let them fall; because You are with me always, and You will wrap Your loving arms around me and comfort me, as only You can.

Lord, I thank you for doing the same for all the moms who post here: ~ TKH63, SELVAM, JOEYRICK ~ ELPARRO ~ CHADDSMOM ~ MZJAN64 ~ ANTHONYSMOM1988 ~ MAMACHERIE ~ DEBORAHPOO ~ DOVESFROMHEAVEN ~ Last, but not least ~ SHANER!!! Not only these bereaved moms, Lord, but bereaved moms all over the world!

Father, we are living in troubled times. Please touch the hearts of our world leaders all over the world. Help guide them to work for peace among nations. Refer them to Your Holy Word, and give them the wisdom to understand the meanings ... The meanings You attached to those words. Teach us to love one another unconditionally, Father, for we all were created by, and belong to You!

Finally, Father, I ask that You please continue to help us make it through the valley days, now, and in the days, weeks, months, and years ahead.
These things I ask, in the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Amen


LOVE2U
10/19/2002 02:49

Dear Sandy, ~ As you surely can tell, this is valley time for me.:( I know it's because of the family reunion. We leave early this morning of South La. and plan to return Sunday. Diane was always the life of the party! :) It was always such a joy to see those in her age group get together and laugh and have fun while we older members of the family looked on and enjoyed all that good southern cooking! :) In years gone by, at our culminating activity (attening Church), everyone always looked forward to Diane's beautiful solo. :) That has been the most difficult part for all of us. :) Now that Cheryl has shocked everyone by singing last year, perhaps I will handle it ok.:)

Oh yes, it's a tiny town in southeast La. called Oberlin. I promise to go easy on the gumbo, dirty rice, crawfish, etc. Ha-ha! Please pray that I resist it all & keep my word. :) Well, ... maybe just a sample or two of everything! :)
LOVE2U


shaner
10/19/2002 11:52

Hello Selva, what a wonderful letter to receive! All of those lives touched, made healthy again, because of the generosity of your Solange and her family! Your daughter's love and spirit lives on in these people. A wonderful living legacy to leave behind, I know that Our Father is very proud. I wish that we had of thought of doing that with our Shane, but unfortunately we weren't approached by the hospital, and in our shock it didn't enter our mind. I know, Selva, it's a rough road that we're travelling, but you're in good company here, we all understand and still experience the pain of losing our beloved child. Keep up your prayers, and we hold you up in our's, with our love,
Luv Sandy


shaner
10/19/2002 12:16

Hi Peggy, nice to see you posting again!
Yes, I remembered your beloved son's Anniversary date and posted here on that date letting you know that we were thinking of you and praying for you. These special days are so hard on us all. When our child passes, a future goes with that child, and we'll always wonder how their lives would have turned out, as you said, would they have married, had children, etc. My Shane wasn't married either, so I wonder about those things myself. But it just wasn't meant to be, God called them back home to be with Him. But it doesn't stop us wondering, does it.
Congratulations on your daughter's wedding, it sounds like it was a beautiful ceremony, made even more special remembering your boys and the groom's father in such a lovely way! It must have been bittersweet to release those butterflies. Butterflies are so symbolic, so it was a lovely touch! Gosh yes, Peggy, we'll storm Heaven for prayers for you that you'll be able to see your grandson on your son's Anniversary next month. Prayers and love to you,
Luv Sandy


shaner
10/19/2002 12:37

Hello Verna, I know it's been valley days for you and I know how hard it's going to be to attend the family reunion with Diane once again not being there. If the tears come, let them. I know that Our Lord will be by your side carrying you through the day. I still can't attend large family get-togethers, but maybe with time. That's so special that Cheryl will be singing at it, you'll be a very proud momma! Pass up gumbo, crawfish, dirty rice? You go for it, :), just reading about it is making me hungry! Seriously though, I know you'll make it through the day, and maybe even laugh at times!
So many memories we carry around, aren't there. I loved your prayer, and I agree with you in prayer for our world today, that God's peace will reign through His Son, Our Lord and Saviour. And may His peace fill your heart. Let us know how the day went for you, our prayers and love are with you, you know that,
Luv Sandy


lisa19
10/20/2002 15:29

Great Spirit, Good Father, Giver of all life, we ask a special prayer for all grieving parents who have lost a child.We ask that you will protect them and hold them close in your everlasting wings of love. Please help them to feel your presence in the midst of their terrible dark pain. They feel utterly helpless, Lord. Please keep them from falling off 'the edge'...give them peaceful dreams of reassurance and strength. We ask in Jesus Name, Amen.


dovesfromheaven
10/21/2002 08:54

Hello Sandy, Verna and all the other moms here,
Just wanted to post to let you all know that I'm still around and praying for each of you, I always read daily your letters. It means so much to me to have a place to come and be safe to express my feelings. Thank you to all!
~~~I am proud to announce the birth of our 2nd granddaughter in 9 weeks! RUTH ELIZABETH DUEY (RUTHIE) was born Friday, October 18th at 9:30 A.M. She weighed in at 8lb-4oz & 19" long. Her Mommy & Daddy are very proud! She's very beautiful, what can I say! Now Zoe, who was born on Aug 16th has a cousin to grow up with. We love being grandparents, it is the most wonderful experience. I thank God for giving me the priviledge of being a grandparent~~~
I am still having a difficult time with the time of year. It was 2 years & 11 months yesterday, you never forget anything do you? I miss Joseph so much. Sandy, you are right that it's their presence that we miss. I think if we asked them to come back they wouldn't want to because heaven is such a wonderful place to be and they don't want to leave. I just hate the holidays coming up but I know I need to put my chin up for my family especially now for my new little girls in the family. I know I will get through it, but I think this year is especially hard, being 3 years and all the things we've had going on with a wedding and two babies all in 4 months time! I'm happy but I'm sad. And sometimes I think about Joe being alive somewhere and that he's going to come home, but then I have to shake myself back to reality, I hate it! I know how Verna feels about being at big gatherings, I try to avoid bigger gatherings because of my loss. Everyone thinks I'm doing ok and that couldn't be further form the truth. I don't talk about it anymore because I know they don't want to hear about it, you know? We do talk about Joe in our little family though, he's still included and always will be!
~~~Dear Selva, I'm so sorry to read of your loss of your precious daughter Solange. I know the pain you are feeling and I feel for you. It's ok to cry and the tears will come for a long time. I'm so glad to know that you also pray, that is what will sustain you through this journey of grief. I have always said I don't know what I would've done without my Lord Jesus by my side and also others praying for me and my family. It's been a rough go. That is so wonderful that your daughter lives on in others, there has to be some comfort in knowing that she has helped others live. What a blessing! Please know that my prayers are with you during your darkest time of your loss, it will ease some in the months to come, but as Sandy would tell us moms that it's ok to grieve and to be gentle on ourselves. ~~~Dear Father, I ask You to hold Selva close to Your side during this tender time and let her feel Your presence. Lift the pain some now Lord from her heavy heart. Bless her in the days to come with Your peace and comfort of Your Holy Spirit. In Jesus Name, Amen. God Bless you Selva.
~~~ I pray dear Lord for all other Moms here, that You will bless them too with your love and peace in their hearts. Help us all to get through the rough days of the anniversaries and family gatherings that are so hard for each of us. I pray that You will wrap Your loving arms around each and every mom here today and bless their day. Thank You Father for being here for us. I love You! In Jesus Name, Amen. God Bless everyone!
Love, Yvonne<><


shaner
10/21/2002 11:49

Hello Lisa19, thank you for your beautiful prayer, we all appreciate it! It always warms our hearts when someone posts here giving us prayerful support, which we all need so much, as a kind, compassionate person such as yourself. May God bless you in whatever way He knows you need it,
Luv Sandy


shaner
10/21/2002 12:54

Hello Yvonne, I'm so happy to see a post from you! It is wonderful, isn't it, that we can all come here and talk about how we're feeling, and know that we all understand and offer support and love to each other! It means a lot to me too! Our Lord has truly blessed this Circle. CONGRATULATIONS on the blessed event of Ruthie's birth! You and your family must be so excited, and imagine, weighing in at 8lbs., 4 oz., that's a very healthy baby! Her parents must be beside themselves with joy, and have every reason to be proud! Yes, isn't that nice that she and little Zoe are only 9 weeks apart, they'll grow up so close together, they'll be like little sisters more than just cousins! Gosh yes, what a wonderful blessing to be grandparents and I'm so happy for you that they bring so much joy into your life! All the best to you and your family. I'm sorry to read Yvonne that you're still having a hard time, no, we don't forget anything, do we, we can all count to the very minute when we lost our beloved child, or children. I still mark off the 15th of each month, even though it's been 3 years for me. I think Yvonne that your anxiety is building up because Joe's Anniversary is coming up, and as we all know, these days are so very, very hard on us. I know sweetie that you miss your Joe so much, and so much has happened in your life since he's been gone. So all these joyous events in your life are bittersweet, wishing desperately that Joe was there for them. I once asked my Bereavement Counsellor if I'd ever feel joy, happiness again, and she said yes, but it'll be in a different way, and now I understand what she meant. You're right, Yvonne, even though they still love us dearly, they'd never want to leave their Heavenly home. I know one day we'll understand why! Grief can be so painful, even with us moms who are going into our 3rd, 4th, year, and from reading some of the other moms's posts who's loss is even longer, it never really goes away, we just learn how to live with it. No, I don't feel comfortable either in large extended family gatherings, they of course do think you've come to terms with it and don't realize that we're still hurting inside and that even these events can bring up so much pain in us. We have to do what is comfortable for us, even if other's don't understand, and yes, our little family is like your's, at least we can talk freely about our child within our own families, and that does bring much comfort! Yvonne, I know that Our Lord will help you to get through Joe's Anniversary, and the holidays ahead, we all need His help, and I thank Him too for all He has done in my life to help me on this rough Journey. As I've said before, He's so good to us grieving moms! You know that you always have our love, support and prayers Yvonne, and we know that we can count on you for your's! Once again, a very heartfelt prayer for all, and I pray the exact same prayer for you and for all the other wonderful moms on these pages, God love them. You know that we'll storm Heaven for prayers for you on Joe's Anniversary, and all of our hearts are with you, now you go and enjoy your new granddaughter, give little Ruthie a hug and kiss from us all, and our love and prayers are with you always, I pray for peace for you as you enter into a difficult time, please post back and let us know how you're doing, lots of love to you,
Luv Sandy


faiththree
10/21/2002 15:47

I need Prayer for loss of my 22 yr.old Son on December 4 2000. It has been very difficult period, of which I still have some very bad days...Last Friday was his Birthday and I spent the day trying to be strong, but only those who have lost a child know how I really feel. I still can't accept he is gone. I keep hoping I will wake up from this bad dream.... Please Pray


mzjan64
10/22/2002 01:13

Father I pray for my sister right now, that help her through this period, as December 4th come draws near, Father strengthen her, because you said in your word, that "THE JOY OF THE LORD IS OUR STRENGTH". Father strengthen her right now. Father you said that you would never leave us nor forsake us, and God I know your are in control. Loose men and women filled with you Holy Spirit in her pathway. I thank you right now Father what you are doing doing in her life, perfecting her, teaching us how to lean and depend on each other as we depend on you. God touch and restore right now,I thank you and praise you Father for it right now. Amen.
Lord I lift up the birth too you right now, touch the parents and grandparents as they nurture and bring this vessel to you, touch them all with you finger of love, cover them with your precious blood. Thank you God for this prayer circle. Touch and bless every Family represented and continue to poor out you blessings like never before. Thank you Father for all you've done in Jesus mighty name. Amen.

I ask all of you in this prayer circle to pray for me and my daughter, Shalunda. We will both be graduating from the nursing program this December,and traveling home, as we prepare to take RN boards that we will pass the first time we take it in Jan.2003. I will stay in touch. God bless each of you.
Love always
Janice



shaner
10/22/2002 09:55

Hello faiththree, and welcome to the Circle. I'm so sorry to read about your loss, your beloved son. Losing a child is the most painful experience that could ever happen to a parent, and all of us here understand your pain and your bad days. Special days, such as your son's birthday, Anniversaries, holidays, etc., are so very hard on us grieving moms. I know, sweetie, it's like a bad dream sometimes that we wish we could wake from, and see our child walk through the door again. You're in your second year of Bereavement, and in some ways, it can be just as hard as the first, we slowly realize that it's final, reality is starting to set in, and that brings up a lot of painful emotions for us. So don't be hard on yourself, it's all a part of the Journey of Grief, and thankfully we at this Circle understand that and support each other. You're now part of this Circle! Here you'll find only understanding, compassion, love and prayer, and we'll honour your feelings, this is a safe place to post how you're feeling, we all understand, we're all on the same Journey. Your in our love and prayers, may Our Lord give you some peace today, and please post back whenever you feel like it, we all care, love and prayers to you,
Luv Sandy


shaner
10/22/2002 10:01

Hello Janice, it's so nice to see a post from you again, and such a beautiful prayer for all. Isn't that wonderful, both you and your daughter about to become nurses! Yes, of course we'll pray for you both, that you both pass the first time, with the help of the Holy Spirit! God's blessings to you both,
Luv Sandy


SELVAM
10/22/2002 16:08

Hi Sandy, Love2u, Janice and all you mothers ins this circle. I allways keep you in my prayers and remember yours when tha pain get so heavy that I think I would not be able to handle it. Now that Halloween is near I think of Solange making plans with her friends for as what to wear that day, they allways wanted to be different than everybody. This time I know she already have her costume, she will be dressed as an Angel and a very real one. May God Bless my Solange and all of you. Selva

 
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