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Shane Whalen
This Prayer Circle is Dedicated to my son Shane Whalen Who Passed Away On March 15, 1999 at the Age of 24, & All Other Children


Start a prayer circle for bereaved parents who have lost a child.


There are many of us out there who have lost a child, and it is devastating. It changes the outlook on life, plunges you into a depression, and you think that the feelings and thoughts you have nobody else could possibly relate to. I think a prayer circle for bereaved parents would only benefit us and help us on our journey of grief. This Circle is one of Love, where a Grieving Parent can safely come to for Prayers, and to talk about their feelings.

 
Shaner -10/14/2000
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shaner
9/16/2002 13:20

Hello Peggy, I'm so sorry that you're having such a rough time right now. Sometimes the dreams we have of our children can be painful. Perhaps that is the reason why you're waking up crying, asking your other son Joe to help Rick. Not being able to view him during his wake could very well be the reason for your dream. But you know that your Joe and Rick are together, and that Rick's big brother IS looking after him, so please take some solace from that. Some of our pain does come out in the dream state, disturbing as they may be, God love you. I remember having a dream about my Shane, we were back at the Funeral Home, and suddenly he sat up in his casket and said "this is all a big mistake,", but I knew that it was my sub-concious (SP?) at work, it too was a very disturbing dream for me. Plus now you have the added stress of looking after your ill mother, so I'm sure all of this is coming into play for you. Heavenly Father, please give Peggy the necessary spiritual, physical strength to deal with her losses and her present situation, and may she have a good dream about her boys, one of good memories. I ask this through Your Son, Our Lord and Saviour Jesus, Amen. May you also feel your Angels around you today! May God bless you sweetie, and please keep us updated on how you're doing. Our love and prayers are with you,
Luv Sandy


LOVE2U
9/17/2002 13:04

Hello Everyone :) ~ I just wanted to let everyone know that I am praying for all who have lost a precious child, and in some cases ... children. I am working hard on my books -- and cannot post as often as I would like. Until I can start submitting individual posts again, please know that you all are in my thoughts and prayers. The prayer below was sent to me from an online friend. I pray that each bereaved mom will find a moments of peace as I did when I read it. God bless!

[Fwd. Prayer]

Please take a moment to relax your mind and humble your heart to focus on Christ. Allow God, to be the only person on your mind while you read this prayer. If we can take the time to read long jokes, stories, etc., we should give the same respect to this prayer. Friends that pray together, stay together.

Dear Lord, I thank You for this day. I thank You for my being able to see and to hear this morning. I'm blessed because You are a forgiving God and an understanding God. You have done so much for me and You keep on blessing me.
Forgive me this day for everything I have done, said or thought that was not pleasing to you. I ask now for Your forgiveness.

Please keep me safe from all danger and harm. Help me to start this day with a new attitude and plenty of gratitude. Let me make the best of each and every day to clear my mind so that I can hear from You.

Please broaden my mind that I can accept all things.

Let me not whine and whimper over things I have no control over. Let me continue to see sin through God's eyes and acknowledge it as evil. And when I sin, let me repent, and confess with my mouth my wrongdoing, and receive the forgiveness of God.

And when this world closes in on me, let me remember Jesus' example -to slip away and find a quiet place to pray. It's the best response when I'm pushed beyond my limits. I know that when I can't pray, You listen to my heart. Continue to use me to do Your will.

Continue to bless me that I may be a blessing to others. Keep me strong that I may help the weak. Keep me uplifted that I may have words of encouragement for others. I pray for those that are lost and can't find their way. I pray for
those that are misjudged and misunderstood. I pray for those who don't know You intimately. I pray for those that will delete this without sharing it with others. I pray for those that don't believe. But I thank you that I believe.

I believe that God changes people and God changes things. I pray for all my sisters and brothers. For each and every family member in their households. I pray for peace, love and joy in their homes that they are out of debt and all their needs are met.

I pray that every eye that reads this knows there is no problem, circumstance, or situation greater than God. Every battle is in Your hands for You to fight. I pray that these words be received into the hearts of every eye that sees them and every mouth that confesses them willingly.
Amen


shaner
9/18/2002 19:39

Hello Verna, glad you took a break from your book and posted this prayer, it's very meaningful and inspirational, thanks for posting it here, for all to see! Our love and prayers are with you,
Luv Sandy


dovesfromheaven
9/19/2002 08:33

Hello Sandy,
I'm still here. Thanks for your kind words and prayers. I guess I was having a valley time. I'm doing a little better now, actually I don't know how I'm doing, I feel like crying. I think it's because it's getting closer to the 3rd anniversary of Joe's death, it's been 2 years and 10 months tomorrow. I hate fall time anymore. Joe died 5 days before Thanksgiving and he always looked forward to that day and the meal. His favorite was scalloped oysters. We had talked about making them for Thanksgiving that year. I still make them but it's not the same without Joe here to eat them. It was just he, his dad and I that liked them. I miss things like that. We would have oyster stew for Christmas. That was another favorite of Joe's! I think my son Aaron and his new bride Brianne are coming home for Thanksgiving from L.A. We live in Illinois. They can't be here for Christmas and they want to see the new members of our family, Zoe & Ruthie while they are still little! Ruthie isn't here yet, but should be before then, she is due in 5 weeks now.
I hope you are doing ok Sandy. I don't know what's wrong with me, I just don't feel the same as I have been. Maybe I need to talk to someone. I don't know. Maybe I'm having a let down from all that's been happening in our family.
The prayer that Verna sent was good, I needed to hear that. I pray for everyone here when I go walking. It's such a peacful time for me to be with the Lord and that is when I pray for my family too.
Dear Father, I ask you to be with each one here today and comfort their hearts and give them Your peace. Bless them with good days of happy times with their families and memories of their departed loved ones. I ask this in Jesus Name, Amen. God Bless you all.
Love, Yvonne<><


shaner
9/19/2002 10:39

Hello Yvonne, gosh, it's so nice to see a post from you, I've been wondering how you've been doing. You know Yvonne, I think you've hit the nail on the head yourself, so to speak, you had the wonderful anticipation of Zoe's impending birth, you helping to get ready for it, the baby shower, the birth itself, and now it's over, Zoe's here, God bless her, and your life has gone back to normal, whatever normal is when we're grieving the loss of our children. And you've also got Joe's Anniversary coming up, your thoughts are on that, Thanksgiving, and all the memories that brings up when you were all a family, it's all very painful! So don't be hard on yourself, I think all these things are bringing you down, we all know how hard these times can be for us all. Your Joe loved scalloped Oysters, my Shane loved stuffing from the turkey, it just isn't the same anymore making it, like you, Shane and I were the only one's who really loved it. It's these little things that can cause so much pain in us, it reminds us of our great loss. Maybe you do need to talk with someone Yvonne, you know best, you feel comfortable enough to talk here about your pain, and that is truly wonderful! Plus in the summer, we're busier than usual, enjoying the outdoors, now Fall is upon us, days are shorter, and our moods seem to change with the seasons. Fall, for you, is a difficult time, so I'm sure that's a big part of the reason why you're feeling so low right now.
I pray that Aaron and Brianne do come home for you for Thanksgiving, it'll give you something else to look forward too, and you must miss him living so far away. And the anticipation for Ruthie too! God bless you Yvonne, I wish I could hold you and hug you through all these hard days that we have, but I can't, so I can do one better than that and send you my love and prayers, peace in your heart, good memories of Joe, knowing that you'll see him again one day, the love you shared is eternal, and Our Lord will hold you in His arms during your valley days. May God bless you Yvonne, and you know you can post here whenever you feel like it, talking about your pain helps to let it out. Yes, Verna's prayer from her friend is so eloquently put, I'm so happy that she posted it here. And once again, Yvonne, another beautiful prayer from you, we all appreciate it, I also love to pray when I'm out by myself, it just seems natural. Much love and prayers to you Yvonne, we all hope you're feeling a little better,
Luv Sandy


DEBORAHPOO
9/20/2002 04:41

HI EVERYONE, I JUST WANTED TO DROP A LINE AND LET YOU ALL KNOW I'M THINKING ABOUT YOU. I HAVE A COWORKER WHO'S SISTER GAVE BIRTH TO TWINS LAST MONTH AND ON SATURDAY THE BOY PASSED AWAY AND THE DAY OF THE FUNERAL THE OTHER TWIN WENT INTO INTENSIVE CARE. AND MY SISTER HAS TO GO TO FARMINGTON TO HAVE A INTENSE ALTRA SOUND FOR THE SPINA BIFIDA TEST CAME BACK ABNORMAL SHE WAS VERY UPSET WHEN SHE CALLED ME AND I CALMED HER DOWN. SO I HAVE BEEN DOING ALOT OF PRAYING THIS WEEK. I HAVE HAD A LOT OF CHILLS RUNNING UP MY SPINE.


DEAR FATHER I PRAY THAT YOU WILL GUIDE US AND GIVE US THE STRENGHT NO MATTER WHAT LIFE HAS FOR US AND I PRAY THAT THINGS WILL BE OK FOR THESE MOMS WHO ARE HAVEING DIFFICULTY DAYS AND SOME HOW GIVE US THE STRENGHT WE MAY NEED TO GO ON DAY TO DAY, I ASK THIS IN YOUR NAME THE FATHER, AMEN.


shaner
9/20/2002 09:37

Hi Deb, nice to see a post from you, as sad as it is. The poor Mom, losing one of her twins and the other wee one going into Intensive Care. We pray for the good health of the surviving twin and peace and comfort for the Mom at this time. Oh Deb, that's so sad about your sister, thank goodness she has you for support and love. Our prayers are also with your sister, that the test comes back OK. Beautiful prayer at the end of your post, Deb, our love and prayers are always with you,
Luv Sandy


DEBORAHPOO
9/22/2002 11:23

HI EVERYONE,
JUST A NOTE TO LET YOU KNOW THINGS ARE STILL A LITTLE CRAZY FOR ME BUT THINGS ARE GOING WELL. I HOPE THINGS ARE OK WITH ALL THE OTHER MOMS HERE AT THIS SITE. THE OTHER TWIN IS DOING REALLY WELL AND WHEN MY SISTER WENT FOR THE ALTRA SOUND THE DOCTOR TOLD HER THAT THE SPINE LOOKED FINE BUT SHE WILL GO AGAIN IN ONE MONTH BECAUSE THE BABY WAS BRECH AND HE COULDN'T SEE ALL OF BRAIN THAT HE WANTED. WHEN MY SISTER GOT HOME SHE CALLED HER DR AND THE DR JUST GOT THE RESULTS AND TOLD MY SISTER THAT THE #'S FOR SPINA BIFIDA WHERE REALLY LOW BUT THEY HAD TO HAVE HER GO FOR THE ALTRA SOUND AS A PRECAUTION.
MY NIECE WILL BE HAVING SURGERY FOR HER VALVES TO HER LIVER, SHE IS HAVING PROBLEMS WITH 2 OF THEM.
I NEED TO GO AND DO MY HOME WORK FOR TOMORROW. YOUR ALL IN MY THOUGHTS AND PRAYERS DAILY. GOD BLESS YOU ALL. LOVE DEBBY


DEBORAHPOO
9/22/2002 11:41

AUTUMN'S COMING

AUTUMN'S COMING, CAN'T YOU SEE
RED AND GOLD IN THE OAK TREE?
THE SKY'S A GRAYER SHADE OF BLUE,
AND ROSE BOUQUETS ARE A PRECIOUS FEW.
DAYS GROW SHORT THIS TIME OF YEAR,
AND THE WINDS ARE IN A HIGHER GEAR.
IT'S PUMPKIN PIE FOR ONE AND ALL
AT NATURE'S ANNUAL HARVEST BALL.
THE MEADOW IS NO LONGER GREEN
WHERE SUMMER'S CHILD WAS OFTEN SEEN
WITH SKIN AS TAN AS MARIGOLD
WATCHING THE FOUR O'CLOCK UNFOLD.
NOW AUTUMN'S CHILD HAS COME TO PLAY
AMONG THE SHOCKS AND FIELDS OF HAY.
AUTUMN'S COMING, CAN'T YOU SEE...
THE BAREFOOT DAYS THAT USED TO BE?


shaner
9/22/2002 12:42

Hi Deb, thanks for posting and letting us know about the other twin and your sister. That's wonderful news! Praise Our Lord, He's so good to us! I know that the mom of the twin must be so happy and that your sister must be also, and so relieved. I'm sure the next ultrasound will show that everything is OK. Nice to hear from you Deb, I know how busy you are and I know you'll do very well with your studies! That's too bad about your niece, and our prayers are with her also. A very beautiful Autumn poem, Deb, really enjoyed reading it! Much love and prayers to you,
Luv Sandy


deborahpoo
9/22/2002 18:38

HI SANDY,
I JUST WANTED YOU TO KNOW THAT I ORDERED A BOOK FOR THE MOM AND I'M WAITING FOR IT TO COME IN. THIS BOOK (A TIME TO GRIEVE BY CAROL STAUDACHER) HELPED ME ALOT ON MY DAY TO DAY FEELING THAT I WAS HAVING. I KNOW IT WILL HELP HER. AND IF IT WASN'T FOR YOU AND THE OTHER MOMS HERE AT THIS SIGHT TO SUGGEST THIS AND OTHER BOOKS I WOULDN'T OF BEEN ABLE TO GET SOME ANSWERS AT MY OWN PACE. THANK YOU SO MUCH. I STILL TODAY PICK THE BOOK UP AND READ SOME OF THE PAGES WITH LITTLE STICKYS HANGING OUT THE TOP OF IT. THANK YOU AGAIN AND MUCH LOVE AND PRAYERS TO YOU TOO, LOVE DEBBY


deborahpoo
9/22/2002 18:44


IF SOMEONE WERE TO ASK ME WHAT HAS BEEN MY BIGGEST ACCOMPLISHMENT IN LIFE,
I WOULD LIFT MY HEAD HIGH AND SPEAK FROM MY HEART WITH A PARENT'S PRIDE AS I SAID THE WORDS "MY CHILDREN."


shaner
9/23/2002 09:07

Amen, Deb, I would also say that the greatest accomplishments in my life were my two boys. I don't think there's a more important job than being a mother or a father! When someone asks me what in my life has given me the most joy, I always say the birth of my two boys. And I don't think we're alone when we say this, I know the other Moms would agree! Yes, that's a very good book Deb, I'm so happy you received some comfort from it, and it's so nice of you to pass it along to the mom who lost one of her twins. May she find comfort in it too, love and prayers,
Luv Sandy


DEBORAHPOO
9/29/2002 04:44

HI SHANER AND EVERYONE ELSE,
WE'LL THINGS ARE GOING OK RIGHT NOW. I'VE BEEN BUSY WITH WORK AND SCHOOL AND ALL MY HOME WORK AND JUST TRYING TO KEEP BUSY. I REALLY DISLIKE THIS TIME OF YEAR. I LOVE THE SMELL OF THE AIR AND THE COLORS OF THE TREES, BUT I KNOW THAT THE BIG HOLIDAYS ARE COMING UP AND I WILL NOT BE ABLE TO DO MY BAKING WITH MY MOM THIS YEAR. MY PARENTS MOVED TO SOUTH CAROLINA FOR GOOD AND I'M REALLY MISSING THEM. BESIDES THAT I'M DOING OK. I'M TRYING TO GO DOWN TO SEE THEM FOR THANKSGIVING THIS YEAR. I REALLY WANTED TO GO FOR CHRISTMAS BUT THATS TO LONG FOR MY HUSBAND TO BE A WAY FROM HIS BUISNESS. I ALSO WANTED TO LET YOU KNOW THAT THE OTHER TWIN IS DOING WELL AND SHOULD BE HOME IN A COUPLE OF DAYS. MY COWORKER STARTED TO CRY WHEN I GAVE HER THE BOOK ON FRIDAY. WHICH MADE ME GET TEARS IN MY EYES. I TOLD HER THE BOOK IS GREAT AND I STILL USE IT TO THIS DAY AND I HOPE HER SISTER WILL FIND COMFORT IN IT.

DEAR FATHER, I ASK FOR YOUR PRAYERS TO HELP ME AND OTHER MOMS WHO ARE HAVING A ROUGH TIME RIGHT NOW, AND I ASK FOR YOUR COMFORT AND YOUR GUIDENCE FOR SOME TIMES WE MAY NOT SHOW WE NEED IT AND I ASK FOR YOUR PRAYERS TO HELP LIFT US UP WHEN WE ARE DOWN, I ASK FOR YOUR PRAYERS TO HELP GIVE US THE STRENGHT TO LIVE DAY TO DAY, I ASK THIS IN YOUR NAME THE FATHER, AMEN.


damiyen1
9/30/2002 09:02

I can't even begin to understand what it feels like to lose a child. God - I thank you for this gift of life, and know that life will not always be nice, or as we expect. I thank you God for being there at all times to take the suffering of these that have lost a child. I thank you for your beautiful Spirit and presence, and pray that all will experience reunification with you in this life. Praise be to you God..!


shaner
9/30/2002 09:48

Hello damiyen1, and thank you so much for your post! We love it when people who haven't lost a child come here and offer a prayer for us all, it mean's a lot to all of us! May God bless you in whatever way He knows you need,
Luv Sandy


shaner
9/30/2002 20:12

Hi Deb, so nice to see a post from you!
I know you're very busy with school and work, but I'm happy that you still find the time to post!! Yes, Deb, this time of year is nice, weather-wise, but we know that the Holidays are not too far behind. I pray that you do get to visit your Mom for the Thanksgiving holidays, it'll make you feel better, and help you out celebrating another holiday without Michael. Holidays are always so hard for us all! I'm really happy to hear that the other twin is doing so well, and I can just imagine how much the parents want him home! Oh, that was so sweet of you to give her sister the book, you know how much it's helped you, and now you can pass it along to this poor mom, I hope she gets as much comfort from it as we all have. Another beautiful prayer, Deb, love it, and you know that our love and prayers are with you!
Luv Sandy


joeyrick
9/30/2002 21:39

Hi everyone,that time of the year is coming around again.It will be 9 yrs,10/08/93,that our 20 yr,old son Rick was hit and killed by a train. Sometimes it's like yesterday and other times it seems so long ago,this is one day that changed that changed my whole life,the other will be coming up on 11/15/00,that is the anniversary of our 39 yr.old son who died of lung cancer.I know they and all of our children would be telling us this:

THE MEMORY of ME
I'd like the memory of me to be a happy one. I'd like to leave an afterglow OF smiles when life is done.
I'd like the tears OF those who grieve,to dry before the sun OF happy memories that I leave When life is done.
May God bless all of you.
LUV to ALL
Peggy


joeyrick
9/30/2002 21:39

Hi everyone,that time of the year is coming around again.It will be 9 yrs,10/08/93,that our 20 yr,old son Rick was hit and killed by a train. Sometimes it's like yesterday and other times it seems so long ago,this is one day that changed that changed my whole life,the other will be coming up on 11/15/00,that is the anniversary of our 39 yr.old son who died of lung cancer.I know they and all of our children would be telling us this:

THE MEMORY of ME
I'd like the memory of me to be a happy one. I'd like to leave an afterglow OF smiles when life is done.
I'd like the tears OF those who grieve,to dry before the sun OF happy memories that I leave When life is done.
May God bless all of you.
LUV to ALL
Peggy


shaner
10/1/2002 21:53

Hi Peggy, it's so nice to see a post from you again too! We've all missed you, but very happy to see you posting again. I'm so sorry about your sons' Anniversaries coming up, these special days are always so hard on us, and yes, the death of a child changes you forever, and changes your life forever. I know what a difficult time this must be for you and your family, with these dates coming up, so close together. I love your poem, THE MEMORY of ME, that's exactly what our children would say to us, isn't it, but it's so hard for us, may we all remember all the good memories and love that our children brought into our lives! Our love and prayers are with you Peggy, and together we'll help you through these difficult days with love and prayer,
Luv Sandy


joeyrick
10/1/2002 23:58

Hi Sandy,it's so good to hear from you,you have a knack to make others feel good and that we really mean something to you. Maybe it's the bond we all have with each other. It will be hard for us and I know we will get through it with the grace of God.What really made me feel at peace is when I was able to go see John Edwards and he came through to me and told me that my boys are together. He also told me they are always around me to pick and lift me up when I'm really down and out.Keep in touch,talk to you in a few days.By the way say a prayer for my mom we found out in June that she has rectal/colon cancer, we had her move in with us after my step-dad passed away in December.
Love
peggy


sainturban
10/2/2002 15:29

from the uk i am hoping to become a child nurse and without the messages above to the parents of shane i was overcome with the pain and realization of grief that a parent siser or brother or in fact any member of a family that has lost a child i do not think i would be able to understand the pain that can often become part of the job. I honestley believe that by reading these messages will make me a more and compassionate nurse god bless you all.
milly


shaner
10/2/2002 18:27

Hi Peggy, before I come to this Circle everyday, I ask for help from the Holy Spirit and my Shane, so you can see that I'm not doing it all on my own! Thank you for your very kind words, and all the praise goes to God, for He was the one who whispered in my ear to start this Prayer Circle. I'm very happy to read that I've been of help to you, you are all very special to me, it's that bond that you said yourself that ties us all together. We all know what a broken heart feels like. I'm also happy that you received some peace from John Edwards, I have no doubt that our children are still around us from time to time, our bond of love with them is so strong! As I've said before, love is Eternal, it never dies, so the love we shared with our child, or children is still there.
Every Mom (or Dad!) who posts here is very special to me, and the best thing I can do for all, myself included, is pray. I'm so sorry to read about your own Mom, consider her in our prayers too. Let us know how you're doing, and remember, you're always in our love and prayers,
Luv Sandy


shaner
10/2/2002 18:37

Hello Milly, (sainturban), and welcome to the Circle! This Circle is devoted to prayer for all parents who've experienced the loss of a child, or in some cases, children. Some posts are very sad, for it takes a long time to learn how to live with the grief. But leaning on each other for support, prayer, understanding, help us all on the Journey of Grief that we're on.
I am so happy that you were steered here to the Circle, and that you've learned something from it. I think that's wonderful that you wish to become a practical Nurse, and the best advice I can give you if you ever encounter a parent who has lost a child is to just listen. Let the Mom cry, let her tell you her story, let her talk about her child, and how she feels, for only by talking about it do we release some of the pain. Some people don't want us to talk about our child that we've lost, they feel uncomfortable, they don't know what to say, but it's only by talking about him or her that we slowly begin to heal. We want to talk about our child, it gives us a lot of happiness. If you do that, Milly, you'll make a wonderful Nurse to a bereaved Mom. May God bless you Milly in whatever way He knows you need it, and thanks so much for posting here!
Luv Sandy

 
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