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Shane Whalen
This Prayer Circle is Dedicated to my son Shane Whalen Who Passed Away On March 15, 1999 at the Age of 24, & All Other Children

Start a prayer circle for bereaved parents who have lost a child.

There are many of us out there who have lost a child, and it is devastating. It changes the outlook on life, plunges you into a depression, and you think that the feelings and thoughts you have nobody else could possibly relate to. I think a prayer circle for bereaved parents would only benefit us and help us on our journey of grief. This Circle is one of Love, where a Grieving Parent can safely come to for Prayers, and to talk about their feelings.

Shaner -10/14/2000
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Read Prayers.

8/27/2002 09:30

Dear Joeyrick,
I am so sorry for the loss of your two sons. I cannot even imagine the pain of losing more than one child. And now you are going through both of their birthdays at the same time. It's ok to grieve and let those feelings come for we cannot get around it, we must go through it and it helps to feel the pain as hard as that is. Please allow God to comfort you. He loves you so much and wants you to have peace.
Dear Father God, I come before You today and ask You to wrap your loving arms around Joeyrick and let her feel Your presence in her life today. Help her to get through today and help her with her boys' birthdays, even though one is already past and one to come on the 30th. Give her Your peace that passes all understanding and give her hope in You on these days as she remembers the good times with her sons. In Jesus Name, Amen. God Bless you Joeyrick.
Love, Yvonne<><

8/27/2002 09:56

Dear Pun82224,
It's nice to hear from you again. I know it's a hard time for you this month with your sons' Kenneth and Kevin's birthdays last week 2 days apart. You mentioned that you can't seem to get past it. You know, I don't think we ever get past it, we just get through it with God's help. It's a loss we never get over, losing our children. There is no other pain like it, but to lose two like you and Joeyrick, I can't even imagine, it's so painful to lose one, and I am so sorry that you have to endure such pain. But please know that God wants to comfort you if you will let Him. I can identify with having an attitude. I was mad at everyone for the first two years, everyone except my husband and 3 other children. I think because I wanted them to feel the pain I was feeling and they didn't understand and was always trying to tell me how I should feel. I finally talked to my dr about it and I realized that I was in a depression and I needed help. I'm doing much better now, but I still have my down times. I don't hate everyone around me anymore. I had to realize that it was no one's fault. I also believe that these are all feelings that we go through as we grieve and it's what we do with them that makes the difference. I was not doing very with my feelings and for two years I was getting worse instead of better and not letting God have His way with me. It will be 3 years on Nov. 20th. and I can see the change in me in the past year and so can everyone else. We will always miss our children and we will always have that sadness over our loss of them. But it's truly up to us whether or not we will except God's help in our lives or not. Because He is right there ready to help us in our difficult times. I love Him so much for being a part of my life. Thank You Jesus!
Dear Jesus, I ask You to bring comfort and peace into Pun's life today. Help her with her loss of her two sons Kenneth and Kevin. Help her to put her trust in You day by day as she goes through the grief process. Love her Jesus and let her feel Your Holy presence in her life everyday. In Jesus Name, Amen. God Bless you Pun.
Love, Yvonne<><

8/27/2002 10:12

Dear Phyllis, Grndmmmy,
It so nice to see you writing and I can see that God is working in life. It's only been a few months since your loss of your precious Michael. God Bless you Phyllis! I was so inspired to hear of your sign of the butterfly and the deer. It truly was a sign from God. He comforts us all in the way that we need. And to have the confirmation of someone else seeing the same butterfly, how awesome is that? God is working isn't He? And the doe that you saw just standing there and not scared, it's God speaking to us through these things that He sends our way. And the plants (peace lillies), I like what you said about God giving us something to keep us busy because they remind us of our loss of our child. Plants are a sign of life and it is something we can still care for, how sweet! I wanted to thank you for thanking the Lord for Zoe's life and she is truly a wonderful gift of Life!
I'm glad that you are a part of this circle and sharing with all of us your pain and that of your children. We are changed from our loss there's no doubt about it. But I believe for the better.
Dear Lord, I thank you for Phyllis and for what she means to this prayer circle. I ask You Father to keep her close to You side as she greives the loss of her son Michael. Let her feel You presence today and give her Your peace and comfort to her broken heart. Bless her now Lord and her family. In Jesus Name, Amen. God Bless you Phyllis.
Love, Yvonne<><

8/27/2002 10:48

Dear Verna,
How are you doing? Thank you for writing to me since Zoe's birth. I cried as I read that she shares the same birthdate as that of your precious Diane. That must have meant so much to you, and maybe that's why you had a peaceful day on her birthday? God's special sign to you! There is something about life that makes you feel good. I was truly touched by your daughter Cheryl's letter to this circle last week. Sometimes we don't know how our other children are doing. They try to be strong for us because they know we are hurting so much. My daughter Sarah, bless her heart, knew how much I was hurting and was always trying to comfort me and her dad all the while herself hurting so deeply. I always felt that I neglected to comfort my children, but I did hurt so bad, what else are we supposed to do? We always managed to keep talking about Joe though no matter what. We are so fortunate to have our other children to be a blessing to us and they need us too. I am thankful for all that I have left. God in His goodness and mercy left me with my 3 other children to be a comfort and blessing to me and there dad and I am truly grateful for that. And they truly are a wonderful blessing. I love them so much.
Dear Lord, I ask You to bless Verna with good health and continue to hold her up Lord for her daughter Cheryl now as they go on with the rest of their lives. I ask You to help Verna to get through the day of her daughter Diane's anniversary coming up in a few days. Bless her and her family with fond memories of Diane always. Continue to comfort her and bring her peace filled days. In Jesus Name, Amen. God Bless you Verna.
Love, Yvonne<><

8/27/2002 10:55

Dear Sandy,
How are you doing today? I didn't want to write all of these letters to everyone today and then forget you, who started all of this! I want you to know what a blessing you are to me. I hope this finds you getting through one day at a time by the grace of God. He is always there by our side willing to be of help to us no matter what we are going through. God Bless you Sandy. And may you have many good days ahead.
Dear Father, I come before Your throne and ask You to bring peace into Sandy's heart today. Give her a day full of Your love and kindness. Continue to comfort her tender heart for her son Shane. Bless her and her family with all the good things You have for them. In Jesus Name, Amen. God Bless you Sandy!

8/27/2002 14:25

Hello Yvonne, I was looking forward to your weekly post! That's so sweet of you to think of me when we have moms like Pun and Joeyrick who are in such pain right now. I think you gave Pun some very good advice. Some moms are reluctant or too much in pain to reach out for help, but that's what our Dr.'s are there for, to give us some much needed medical help too. I'm not doing too badly lately Yvonne, had a rough patch a couple of weeks ago, but we're always going to have those. Yes, with God's help, one day at a time, we make it through! He's always so very good to us. Oh, that's sweet of you to say I'm a blessing to you, and you are certainly to me also. I hope you're doing alright lately too, and enjoying little Zoe. Thank you once again for your prayer, Yvonne, it's beautiful and very appreciated. My prayers and love to you,
Luv Sandy

8/27/2002 23:12

I lost my 7 year old daughter in April. It has now been a little over 4 months. I also have 11 month old triplet girls. We wanted to have more children so badly so Stephanie would have sisters. I feel as if I am no better than I was 4 and a half months ago. I do not know how to have a 1 year old birthday party for my girls without Stephanie. She was my only one for so long and I feel as though I have lost my best friend. I know I am having worse days because it is now feeling too "real". I wish I had all of your faith as I am still very angry at God. I thanked him everyday for all the gifts in my life and I feel as though he has let me down. Please pray for me.

8/28/2002 10:25

Hello missbracia, welcome to the Circle, and I'm very sorry to read about your beloved Stephanie. Losing a child is the worst pain a parent will ever go through, it's hard, it's mean, and it's biting. You've just recently lost Stephanie, so please, give yourself plenty of time for grieving, you need it. Let the tears come, talk about your pain to your close family and friends, and here too, we all understand. You need a lot of support, especially at the beginning, so reach out to people, and I pray that you do have good people around you for support.
Right now you're in a lot of pain, shock, and the reality of her passing is happening to you, which also brings up a lot of pain. When we lose a child, a part of ourselves goes with that child, just as you say that you feel you've lost your best friend, as well as your daughter. Be gentle with yourself, for you're grieving, don't judge yourself harshly. All of us here at this Circle know the pain that you're experiencing, and we're all here to help. Don't worry about being angry with God, it's very normal, He knows your pain, and will continue to love you and help you to come to terms with this. I know you feel that He let you down by calling Stephanie home, He knows how you feel, but will never leave your side. All of these feelings you're having, they're all a part of the grieving process and there are other moms here who have experienced the very same feelings. He has blessed you with wonderful triplets, you don't say in your post when their first birthdays are, if they're soon, perhaps you could scale them down a bit, so it won't be as painful for you, express your feelings to your family, and see what you can do to make the day a little easier for you. Your faith will return, sweetie, you're just in so much pain right now that you can't feel or see it. You have the love, support, understanding and love of this Circle, you and your family are in our prayers, and please post back, this is a safe place to let your feelings out. May Our Lord wrap you and your family in His arms, and may you feel His great love for you, and give you some peace,
Love and prayers to you,
Luv Sandy

8/29/2002 15:03

I would like for everyone to pray for Phyllis Mitchell who lost her son on June 10 of this year. He was only 25 years old with a 4 year old little girl named Morgan. I would also like for you to pray for Dana Poole and Cindy Brewster who were Michaels sisters. Also for Tina Wolfe, wife of Michael. They need all the prayers we can give them.

8/29/2002 18:51

Hello MemoriesofMichael, welcome to the Circle. Very, very sorry to read about young Michael, leaving behind a young wife and a little girl Morgan. Also his mother and sisters. Please know that they have all been prayed for, and we ask Our Lord to give them the necessary spiritual and physical strength at this time, wrap His loving arms around the family and friends. May God bless you for posting here for them,
Luv Sandy

8/29/2002 19:08

Dear Verna, tomorrow is your lovely Diane's Anniversary, and I just wanted to let you know that we're all praying for you here at our Circle for peace, comfort from our prayers, and the love of Our Lord, who has brought you this far. May He continue to be by your side, filling you with His comfort and love as you commemorate Diane's special day tomorrow. May you remember all of the good times that you shared with Diane, with all of the joy and love that came with them. Much love and prayers to you,
Luv Sandy

8/30/2002 18:26



8/31/2002 09:37

Hi Deb, it's so nice to see a post from you again! I thought you had deserted us, (just teasing, Deb!). It's wonderful to see a post from you again. I'm very happy for you that you're back at work, yes, I can well imagine that the first little while would be very busy and a little chaotic! But I know how much you love doing it, being around the kids, they're very fortunate to have you there for them! I hope you have a wonderful, peace-filled long weekend, and our love and prayers are with you,
Luv Sandy

9/1/2002 20:10

SHANER,DOVESFROMHEAVEN,thank you for the prayers,they helped me get through the birthday of my boys.

9/1/2002 20:14

I'm joeyrick mother, my name is peggy and I'm very happy to be with group. I pray the Lord always gives all of us the strength to go on, and to remember all of the beautiful memories we have of our children. Love to all

9/1/2002 22:14

Thank you Shaner for you thoughtfelt words. My triplet girls will be one year on Sept. 19. I however do not know how to get through my 36th birthday tomorrow. Last year I was in the hospital so the last birthday I really shared with Steph was two years ago. I don't want presents or any kind of celebration. I just want the day to come and go. I keep thinking in the back of my mind if I don't think about anything it will all go away.
Stephanie was fine on April 11 and Friday moring the 12th she complained of a terrible headach and we rushed her to the hospital in the ambulance, still thinking there was nothing really wrong. Well, I long story later, she had bleeding on her brain and they think she had an avm. The next thing I knew after I felt her leave on Sunday night, was them telling us her brain was dead from another bleed and we were donating her organs.
How does this happen to a first grader getting home from a gymnastics meet two weeks before, swimming the day before, to bleeding on the brain and dying two days later. And how can I celebrate my birthday without her. Your last message really meant a lot to me and I look forward to hearing from you again.

9/2/2002 08:39

Hello Peggy, it's so nice to see a post from you again, and yes, welcome to the Circle, our Circle for all of us! I'm very happy to hear that our prayers helped you with the Anniversary of your boys birthdays, God is so good to us grieving moms! You make yourself at home here, and if you feel like it, please post to other Moms, all of us here need help and understanding. We all, unfortunately, belong to the same club, we're all Moms who've lost a child or in some cases children, such as yourself. Thank you for your lovely prayer, and mine go out to you too,
Luv Sandy

9/2/2002 09:26

Hello missbracia, I'm very happy that you posted again, everything that I said to Peggy in the post above this one applies to you too!
Oh gosh, your birthday today, and of course instead of it being a happy one, you're filled with pain and grief. All of these 'special days' as we call them are so hard on us, they just remind us of the gaping hole, the pain, the terrible aching that comes with our beloved child not here with us physically. Because it's your birthday, and not your triplets, I would suggest you spend it however you feel comfortable doing. Let your heart guide you, and tell your family how you're feeling. With your triplets' birthdays coming up, you have a little time to 'prepare' yourself, and what a blessing to have triplets! I can't really tell you what to do or how to celebrate or not celebrate, just do as I said, follow your heart, and tell your loved ones how you're feeling today. Our love and prayers are with you today.
It just doens't seem possible, does it, that a vibrant, happy, smiling child, with lots of energy, could be here one minute and then gone in a flash. I lost my Shane suddenly too, as have other Moms here. It takes a long time to come to terms with it, you spend a long time in shock and disbelief, and how long all depends on the person, for each Mom's grief is her own. It's another normal stage of grieving, we all experience it to some degree or another. The first year of my Shane's passing, I went very few places, didn't want to talk to but a few people, and basically wanted to just be with my Shane. But I'm still here, it's been 3 years, so God had other plans for me! So I know all too well, as do the other wonderful Moms here, of the pain you're in, your life is now split into two, the one you had with Stephanie in it, and now the one you will slowly rebuild, knowing that Stephanie is right there with you, watching over her beloved Mom!
What a beautiful thing you did, donating Stephanie's organs, she has given the gift of life to another, an unselfish act of love on your part, and she lives on in many people! What a wonderful, loving legacy your Stephanie gave to others!
As hard as today may be, you WILL make it through it, growing a little stronger each time you encounter these 'special days', gaining strength from Our Lord to see you through.
Dear Lord, you know how missbracia is hurting, the pain she's in, I ask You to wrap Your loving arms around her, let her feel Your love for her, on this, her birthday, and the days ahead, and send her the necessary spiritual and physical strength she needs at this time. You love us all beyond measure, may Your peace flood her heart today. I ask this through Your Son, Our Lord and Saviour Jesus. Amen.
Please post back whenever you want, missbracia, we all care here, let us know how your day went. Love and prayers to you,
Luv Sandy

9/2/2002 17:35

hello everyone, no i haven't caught up on all the back posts yet but i'm trying. so far it has taken me almost two hrs but hope to finish by the end of the night.
it has been a rough weekend with the rain and the holiday and wishing my michael was here with us. he loved hoildays for i would always have a huge gathering with friends and family but i haven't been able to the last two years with out him. so many happy memories we had seem so far away now.
i have been busy reading a book (the road to forgiveness) hearts shattered by tragedy, transformed by love and i hope this will help me to forgive the girl who was driving the car that took my sons life. this book is based on what happened to bill & cindy griffiths life when their daughter and cindy's mother was killed from a drunk driver in june of 1996. i have not been able to put it down since i started reading it yesturday. i have been reading alot of books and saying alot of prayers from so many praying books that help me pray every day and i feel it is helping me to get through my days. for i have been praying for many of moms here at this prayer circle and keep you all dear to my heart.
luv debby

9/2/2002 17:42

dear father,
today i pray that you will help all the moms here at this prayer circle and guide them to have the strenght to get through these rough days that they are having and i pray that tomorrow they will find the courage and strenght to move on and remember the beautiful memories that they have of their loved one and i pray that you will shine so brightly down on them that they will feel your presents as they walk in the sun shine, i ask this in your name the father, amen.

9/2/2002 18:41

dear father,

how empty our lifes seem without our loved ones, you brought us together for a short time and filled our lives with good and bad times, we cherish the memories of both, but still these memories cause our heart to have pain.
thank you for promising not to leave us, jesus, even in our emptiness. when others disappear, your right by our sides no matter how we feel. fill our emptiness with your healing love, lord. make us whole in you as you fill us with your healing spirit. amen

9/2/2002 19:02

Hi Deb, nice to see you back posting! I know, holidays, even this one, always remind us, especially when we're around others, of the hole that's now in our lives, with our precious child gone. We attended a BBQ on Saturday, and unexpectedly ran into one of Shane's childhood friends, it was really nice to see him and talk over old times, but it also reminded us that Shane's not here.
It sounds like the books are really helping you Deb, I'm so happy for you, bravo to you for wanting to learn how to forgive the girl who was driving the car, reading how others in a similar situation handled it can be very inspirational. Yes, how empty our lives can seem sometimes with our child or children gone, but God is so good to us grieving Moms, He surely does carry us through. Beautiful prayers, Deb, love and prayers to you,
Luv Sandy

9/4/2002 20:32

This is to all parents in the circle.
Your memoryis our keepsake,for that will never part. God has you in His keeping and we have you in our hearts.
Love to all from Peggy joeyrick

9/4/2002 22:00

Hello Everyone! :) ~ Thank you so very much for your prayers,and posts -- both here and at Diane's memorial site. Thanks, also, for the many emails, fwd pages that provided the much needed encouragement to help get me through the two special days. Of course you must know, this entire month has been a mixture of both fond and sad memories. This time, the fond memories out numbered the sad ones, and for that, I am grateful. :)
I have been very busy trying to complete a database of names and addresses of high school classmates... And, as most of you know, I don't know da-da about computers! :) But, I am having fun trying to learn, and it is a labor of love. God willing, we will celebrate our 45th high school reunion the summer of 2003. I am one of two Contact Chairpersons, and I have been chosen to do this database! If they only knew! (ha-ha!) Anyway, I will let you all know how it all turns out.:)

Also, my project manager for my book, has just shocked me by requesting that I fwd the first three chapters to him ASAP, so that he can turn them in to our publisher to see what she thinks about what I have written thus far. That caught me off guard because I was not expecting to turn anything in to the publisher until the spring of 2003. :) So, I have been working overtime pulling all ten chapters together in a format that others will be able to review and edit (by chapters). I will keep you all posted as to how all of this turns out.

In addition to the above, I have been meeting with VIP's concerning legal issues, etc. and studying up on grant writing. "Whew!" As you can tell, I have a lot on the burners right now, so it may take a while for me to catch up on individual post to everyone ... But please know that I am never too busy to pray! I always pray for each bereaved Mom ... according to her immediate needs as mentioned in her prayer request. As Yvonne once stated ... sometimes it helps to know exactly what to pray for. :) I will always cover all of you with my general prayer which is:
[May our Lord and Savior continue to bless each bereaved Mom with those precious moments of peace,fond memories of your child or children, and in time ... even a few moments of joy! In Jesus' name, Amen

Again, thank you for praying me through my two special days.:) God bless you one and all as we continue to be there for each other on our grief journey. May it help to know ... Especially during the valley days ... That, we are not alone!

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