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Shane Whalen
This Prayer Circle is Dedicated to my son Shane Whalen Who Passed Away On March 15, 1999 at the Age of 24, & All Other Children

Start a prayer circle for bereaved parents who have lost a child.

There are many of us out there who have lost a child, and it is devastating. It changes the outlook on life, plunges you into a depression, and you think that the feelings and thoughts you have nobody else could possibly relate to. I think a prayer circle for bereaved parents would only benefit us and help us on our journey of grief. This Circle is one of Love, where a Grieving Parent can safely come to for Prayers, and to talk about their feelings.

Shaner -10/14/2000
send to a friend

Read Prayers.

8/20/2002 17:08


8/21/2002 04:41

Dear friends here at this circle,
I ask for your prayers for my niece Ashley who is 2,

Thank you all so much and God bless you.

Dear Father,
I pray that my niece Ashley will be fine, and I pray that the test come back that the tube to her kidney is not as bad as they think, I pray that her hernieya in her belly button will go away by it's self and she will not have to have surgery, and I pray that my brother Donald and sister-n-law Erica will find the strenght to help their daughter during this time, i ask this in your name the Father,Amen

Luv Debby

8/21/2002 09:38

Hello Deb, that's too bad about your little niece Ashley, but I know that Our Lord will heal her and restore her health, guiding the Dr.'s as they help her. She will certainly be prayed for, and also her parents, for peace and comfort. Love and prayers,
Luv Sandy

8/22/2002 08:18

Good Morning Sandy and Everyone!
Sorry I haven't written for awhile, you know I've been so busy and exausted this past week, I've just been too tired to write. I hope this finds everyone doing as best as can be expected. It's very difficult some days isn't it? I know I've had some bittersweet days here lately with my new grandchild and all. Sometimes it's just too much to take in. But with God's help He is getting me through the tough times. And I thank Him everyday for that strength. I miss my Joseph at special times like Zoe being born. He would have been right there that's for sure! And like this morning I made myself a mixture of fresh blueberries and a banana (delicious!) Joe always loved blueberries, he would practically eat the whole pint on a bowl of cereal! And he was famous for eating as much and as hot as possible hot sauce! I've made my own salsa this summer and of course I think of him and how much he loved mexican food. I just plain miss him.
Debby, I've been thinking of you and the special days last week that you had to go through again. You did what meant the most to you to celebrate Michael's life. And that's what helps us endure the pain is to do something special on these days. Congratulations on your grade in school, you are doing great there! You are accomplishing something most of us only dream of, good for you!!!!!!!
Dear Father God, I come before You with thanksgiving in my heart for all that You have done for me and those here at this circle of prayer. For giving us the strength to endure the pain of our loss day after day. I know that if it weren't for Your Hand upon my life I wouldn't be here today to speak of Your great love for me and all of us Moms that have lost a child or children. I love You Lord and I ask You to continue to hold these dear friends of mine here close to Your heart and comfort them and give them Your peace daily. In Jesus Precious Name, Amen. God Bless Everyone!
Love, Yvonne<><

8/22/2002 09:42

Hello Yvonne, I was wondering when we were going to see a post from you! I know you've been very busy with your new little Zoe, what a joy she must be to all of you. I understand how it feels bittersweet for you, this is an exciting family event, and Joe isn't there. But I believe that he was, and that he shared in the happy time with all of you!
It's funny, isn't it, how the everyday things of life can bring up so much pain in us, missing our children so, like your Joe and blueberries, hot sauce, my Shane with his music, shephard's pie, ice cream, etc., the big days are hard on us, but the little things in life that they liked can trigger some very powerful emotions in all of us. But God is good to us, and He carries us through all these painful times for us.
I hope you get some much needed rest, Yvonne, but I'm very happy that you posted, and as usual, love your prayer at the end of your post! May your days ahead be filled with peace, and I pray that you're still seeing your doves. Give little Zoe a kiss from us all, and take care of yourself too! Love and prayers to you, Yvonne,
Luv Sandy

8/22/2002 12:40

Hello Again Sandy!
Thanks for writing back and so soon. God is so good isn't He? You know I meant to post above that I continue to see the doves from time to time and every so often one will be on the top of our roof as I'm out on the deck, just cooing! And of course when they spash in the bird bath in Joe's garden that is even more special and dear to my heart, I just saw one in there the other day and I talked to it, it didn't even fly off! But something even more significant did happen recently and I believe that it was a sign from God. I have had this peace lily ever since Joe's funeral, actually I had about 3 of them and one by one they died, but this one I transplanted and tried to keep it going. Last summer we were gone on vacation for two weeks and I came back to find it almost gone! I know why that happened, I thought if I really soaked it down and put it in a dark place it would be ok for 2 weeks, boy was I wrong! Anyway, I replanted it and nursed it back to health. It's not a very big plant, but it finally bloomed a small lily this past week at the time of Zoe's birth! ("Life") Zoe means life and the peace lily blooming means new life to me. God is showing me that there is still life for me in this world. I'm always looking for signs from Him above. I find much peace in that He would continue to bless me with His love in this way. I hope that others would find that peace from Him that only He can give.
I hope you are doing ok Sandy. I think of you often and pray for God's love to surround you always. Do you see your hearts? Thank you for keeping this circle going and for taking the time to write back to each and everyone. God Bless you.
Love, Yvonne<><

8/22/2002 18:18

Hello again to you too, Yvonne! What a nice surprise to see another note from you. Isn't that wonderful, you're still seeing the doves, and the 'special' one in Joe's garden. They must bring you so much comfort, knowing that they, the 'special' one in particular, is your Joe, checking in on his beloved mom. And the story of your Peace Lily is amazing, it was 'resurrected' with your loving care, and is now thriving, a beautiful sign of God's love through His creation, when little Zoe made her entrance into the world! That's a wonderful sign for you, Yvonne, and I agree, God is still showing you that there's life and peace for you in this world! Isn't He so good to us, He loves us all so much. I'm the same as you, I look for signs, and I always seem to get them, Our Lord blesses me and I'm very grateful! No, we've never seen the sign of the heart again, that was a once in a lifetime miracle for us the next morning after Shane's passing, but I do get other signs, not as magnificent as our miracle, but very meaningful nevertheless. Shane was very big into music, and through his love for it, I knew most of the songs he loved at the time. It seems when I'm very down, one of 'his' songs will play on the radio, letting me know that he's around, and trying to cheer me up.
So that brings me much comfort!
Thank you so much Yvonne for your prayers for me, I truly need them too, and I do believe that God's love is surrounding me, as it is you and others!
Keeping the Circle going is a labour of love for me, and a way to honour Shane's life and spirit, through trying to help others just as much as they help me. Everybody who posts here is very special, and I love them all. I wish, like you, that one day we could all just sit down together and meet and talk, wouldn't that be something! In the meantime, we all have this Circle, and all the love, prayers and sharing that go with it. May God continue to bless you Yvonne, and now I'm not only rooting for your Doves, but your Peace Lily too!, :)
Love and prayers to you,
Luv Sandy

8/23/2002 19:29

Hello Everyone,
Yesterday was Kenneth birthday and tomorrow will be kevin. It has been a very hard week. It seems nothing goes right. I was thinking how tall they must be by now. I just prayed for them that they are doing good together. It has been hard but I know you all have been there done that. I just seemed to want to yell at everyone and have the I don't care attitude. I know its not good but I just can't get past it. I must pray to the lord for help. This is hard,so hard. I need all the advice I can get to get past this. So mush I could tell you I did. I know it wouldn't make it right but I still feel bad but can't stop. I will be back on tomorrow. Hoping to find some advice from someone.

8/23/2002 22:52

Dear Sandy & Phyllis, ~ Thank you so much for your post to my daughter, Cheryl. Sometimes, children
tend to be able to accept good advice, and much needed counseling, when it comes from someone other
than their own parents. Sometimes this is true, even for our adult children. :) I had no idea how much
my daughter was hurting until I read her letter to Diane. I was completely blown away! To be honest with
you, and the other moms, -- I had to think hard and long, and pray really, really hard about what I would
say ďifĒ or ďwhenĒ I submitted a post again. As I told you to share with the other moms, Sandy, my
valley day quite peaceful, in that it rained all day :) which allowed me to reflect on fond memories of
Diane, and all the joy she brought into our lives; looking through one scrapbook after another, which
some sad, but mostly happy memories of days gone by. I also spent time working on my Things I Just
Gotta Do Today lists -- (which I never finish) :) and as always, editing a few pages of my pet project; my
book. After I prayed about it, several days passed before I was finally able to release it, and turn
everything over to God. I knew I needed to turn it over to God long before I did. If I would have done so
earlier, I would have saved myself a lot of unnecessary stress. Itís not like I didnít know how difficult it
can be on our children who, fortunately, are still here with us; to stand by helplessly, realizing their is
nothing they can do to stop the grief we moms feel over the loss of our children who are in heaven with
our Lord and Savior. I just didnít know what an impact this was having on my own daughter, as she
struggles with dealing with grieving her sisterís death in her own way. Like us moms, our childrenís
grief is different, but non the less real, and very difficult for them. God will see that the healing takes
place for each of us -- in His time -- not ours! As we continue on our journey, especially during our valley
days, ... When we feel we canít go on, letís remember to take it to the Lord in prayer.

Take It To The Lord In Prayer
by Verna Clay

God has given us His Son
All our sins and grief to bear
Still so often we forget
To take it to the Lord in prayer

If we donít weíll continue to stumble
In our wilderness of grief and pain
Sometimes even blaming God
Cause our lives are not the same

satan smiles when our Faith is tempted
If it wasnít for Jesus weíd refuse to try
But in Jesusí name we rebuke old satan
And of God stop asking why

Oh, if we would just remember ...
Jesus knows how much we can bear
When we feel we canít go on ...
Letís take it to the Lord in prayer!

For ... God reveals through Signs and Wonders
All the things He would have us to do
Wait on Him -- He gave me answers ...
He will do the same for you!

Sometimes, God reveals much needed answers through friends and sometimes through family. :) Thatís
why we must try to be there for both, as God reveals -- as we continue on our journey. No doubt we will
continue to have our valley days and our hilltop days. With Godís help, we will continue trying to be
there for each other; especially during the valley days.

My daily prayer for all: May God grant each bereaved Mom those precioous moments of peace for which
we all pray. As always, you are in my thoughts, which places each of you & your families in my heartfelt
prayers. Be blessed! :)
Much Love 2 All,


8/23/2002 23:03

I pray for all parents who have lost a child/children. I pray the Lord gives them the strength to go on and to remember the Lord only lends our children to us.I pray for all of you.I also need prayers from all of you. My sons birthdays are coming up on 08/25/2002 and 08/30/2002 and I can feel that feeling of depression and despair coming up again. Love to all of you.

8/23/2002 23:09

Dear Sandy,
Thank you for everything! Your frequent emails, and words of encouragement, were and are greatly appreciated. May our Lord and Savior keep you and your family in His loving care. And, please continue to take good care of your health; especially the diabetes thing. And I promise I will try to do the same.:)My other helth problem is still pending, so keep me in your prayers, and I will do the same for you.

8/23/2002 23:35

Dear Yvonne,
Thank you for the wonderful prayers that you always pray for all the moms who who have lost a child or in some cases children. We know the pain of losing one; We cannot begin to know what it's like for these moms who have lost more than one. It has a pain all it's own! I pray daily for all who have lost a child or children.

Also, Yvonne, congratulations on the birth of your precious Zoe! You now have your very own (Dove from heaven!) And, just think how it lifted my spirits to learn that your precious Zoe was born on my daughter's day of birth; Aug. 16th. To me, it was like having a special sign from heaven.:) Like you and Sandy have already expressed, I, too, look for and appreciate the signs our Lord sends to each of us to remind us that He is always there for us--to lift our spirits--especially during our valley days! Thanks again for your wonderful way of sharing your spirit and for your prayers for all!

8/24/2002 10:39

Dear Sandy, Yvonne and Verna,

Thanks for your sharing and prayers. I can identify with looking for signs from Michael. The first time I visited his grave site, the most beautiful butterfly was hovering over. It stayed the whole time I did. Last week a friend I haven't seen since Michael died told me she was up there the day after Michael's funeral & she saw the butterfly, too. She mentioned it first. One day, we were driving past the church to the cemetery, and just as we got even with the church, we saw the most beautiful doe, just standing there, it wasn't scared or anything. It finally moved out of the road & just stood in the woods at the side where we could still see it. I've always felt like it is a gift from God when I get to see a deer. I've seen about 4 since June.

I also identify with the peace lilies! I got three big ones when Michael died, and everyone said no direct sunlight. My grandchildren, the youngest ones, have pulled the blooms, torn the leaves, my daughter moved it one day to a darker corner & I noticed a couple of weeks later that it looked like it was dying. I got it out of there, watered it and cut all the dead leaves and blooms off and now it looks good again. Maybe God knows how special these paticular plants are to us, considering we associate them with the loss of our child, so we get them to keep us busy keeping them alive!!

Now, Sandy, about the music. I'm sitting here listening to a radio station I never would have listened to before, listening for Michael's music. It is a comfort I find. My youngest daughter, Carly, age 12, listens to this station anyway and she says "It's unreal. Do all the artist know Michael when they write these songs?" Since Michael has only been gone since June, they're still playing his favorite songs at the time he died. A few new ones have come out that sound just like him and his life.

To Verna, I hope Cheryl is doing better. I have 3 daughters age 33, 31 and 12. Yes, 12. They have had a terrible time dealing with Michael's death, too. I recognize their grief is different than mine, but still it's grief. They all adored their only brother. We talk a lot and try to work through what we are feeling. They worry about me, too, and I worry about them. None of us are the same since Michael and none of us will ever be the same people again. We all have to learn to live without him in our lives. I hope I did some good with Cheryl, thanks for letting me know you appreciated it.

Dear Lord, thank you for all the friends I've met here and I pray for each and every one of them. I lift them and their families up to You, because You & You alone can bring them the peace we all strive for. Thank you for letting me wake up this morning. Thank you for comforting me every day, the valleys and the peaks. As you know, Lord, the peaks rarely come, but I am standing firm believing that they will. We thank you , Lord, for little Zoe. She is one of your most magnificent gifts. We pray for little Ashley will be allright. You know what You are doing, Lord, and we thank you and praise your Holy Name for all the gifts you bestow on us as we are not always so worthy of them.Lord, I pray you will put before me the people today that you would choose. Help me to help them in some way they need. I lift my life up to you to guide me today and everyday for the rest of my life. Amen

8/24/2002 11:37

Dear friends,
I noticed I failed to sign my post. For those of you who don't know I am Michael's mom, Phyllis

Much love to all,

8/24/2002 13:18

Hello Verna, it's so nice to see you posting again, I pray that your valley days you're going through right now will pass, and peace will fill your heart. It is very hard on our other children left behind, they're hurting, they see us hurting, and they are helpless to stop us from it, so Cheryl's posts to you really remind us all to never allow our pain to interfere with our loving relationships with our other children. Reading them, as you say, caused you to reflect and do some soul-searching, so a lot of good came from her posts, not just for you, but for all of us who still have other children here!
I'm so happy for you that Diane's b'day was a peaceful one, and it allowed you to reflect on the joy and love that she brought into your life, and the rest of your family and friends.
I'm happy to hear that you're still working on your book, it's a labour of love for you!
I'm only too happy to help, we all need support and encouragement, and thank you for your prayer for me. This Circle is truly blessed, with such wonderful moms who are in pain themselves, but continually reach out to others.
Love and prayers to you, Verna, and your family, and yes, :) I'm not doing too badly with my diabetes, and I'm happy that you're doing the same!
Luv Sandy

8/24/2002 13:38

Oh, Pun, no wonder you're having such a hard time, sweetie, with both Kenneth and Kevin's birthdays being so close together! One 'special' day is hard enough, you have both your boy's birthdays to get through! As I've told you before, losing one child is bad enough, but you've lost both of your's and I just can't imagine the pain of that, as well as all the other emotions it brings up in you. You miss them dearly, you're wondering 'what if', and you're angry, all of this is a normal part of grieving. But by posting how you feel, you're letting some of it out, and that's good! If you're able to, go out into the middle of nowhere and scream out your feelings, rant and rave, I know other moms who've done that and it's helped them, releasing all that anger which is really pain, it may sound crazy, but trust me, it has helped them. Talk with your boys, tell them how you're feeling, and ask them to pray for you, they love you and want to help you too! Lean heavily on Our Lord, He knows better than anybody how you're feeling right now, and His love for you will carry you through this very rough time you're having right now.
You know you have our love, support, understanding, and our prayers, we'll pray especially hard for you right now as you go through this very rough patch, storming Heaven for you. Please let us know how you're doing, we all care,
Luv Sandy

8/24/2002 14:06

Hello joeyrick, and welcome to the Circle, I'm very happy that you found it! I'm so very sorry to read about losing your two boys, just as I posted to Pun, losing one child is life changing and very painful, I can't imagine losing two. It has a pain all of it's own. These 'special' days, like their birthdays, one tomorrow and one at the end of this month, are very hard on us, and they do plunge us into extreme sadness and depression. Remember that love never dies, and one day you will see your boys again. But right now, you have our support, love and prayers to help you through these very hard times for you, that Our Lord will wrap you in His tender, loving arms, and carry you through this most difficult of times and give you some peace. May God bless you, joeyrick, and our prayers are with you, please post back whenever you feel like it,
Luv Sandy

8/24/2002 14:29

Hello Phyllis, what a beautiful sign for God to send you and your friend, a wonderful butterfly! How amazing is that, your friend seeing it also, not knowing that you already had too. And the beautiful doe, just standing there, the signs that God sends us are all around us, we just have to slow down and look for them. You're truly blessed, and I can just imagine what comfort they must have brought you! Our Lord is so good to us grieving moms!
I'm happy for you also about the music, even though it may not be a station you listen to, :) you're hearing songs that your Michael loved, and songs that you can relate to, because they remind you so much of him - more signs! I bet that my Shane and your Michael have already discussed their music in Heaven!
Look after your Peace Lilies, I also have plants that people sent to Shane's wake, and even though I thought sometimes that I was going to lose them, with a little TLC, they've always come back for me. Of course, I say a little prayer that they will too! God bless you Phyllis, I know it's still very early in your loss and grieving for you, and I know that you're still experiencing some very painful days. But your strong faith will help you through, and I know that our prayers will help you also, may Our Lord wrap His arms around you today, feel His love and peace, and lay your head upon His shoulder. Love and prayers to you,
Luv Sandy

8/25/2002 08:56

Dear Shaner
I have never lost someone close to my heart,but two of my grandmothers passed away.I will remember and them always and pray that Shane happily in the other world.

8/25/2002 09:13

Hello Thok1, thank you for posting here, I'm sorry about your grandmothers passing, and I know you'll always remember them. Thank you also for your prayers, may God bless you in whatever way He knows that you need,
Luv Sandy

8/25/2002 09:22

My mother lost 2 daughters who were born and died in exile.Sianda died at birth and Zandile died a couple of days after birth.My mother had to be strong because she was a South African political expat and couldn't lose focus by grieving.I know the pain of losing a child resides in her spirit as an eternal sadness.I can only offer a prayer to ease your hurt Shaner.I will share it with you:
Lord,our Father,hold Shane Whalen by your side and protect his mother from the eternal pain of knowing that her son is gone.Comfort her in times of heartache,soothe her sorrow and remind her always that Shane is smiling by your side.
Thokozani Norushe

8/25/2002 17:54

Hello Thokozani, and welcome to the Circle, I forgot to say that in my first post, and I apologize, we LOVE to see people posting here. I'm so sorry that your mother lost 2 babies, especially in exile from her beloved motherland, those were very turbulent times for S. Africa, and of course all your mother's energy was focused on that. She no doubt does carry it with her, God bless her, and your beautiful prayer for me, I say it back to your mother! May Siandi and Zandile be by your dear mother's side too. You're a wonderful daughter and a beautiful person to post here, may God bless you abundantly.
Luv Sandy

8/26/2002 17:15

Dear Shaner, I lost a 5 month old grandchild several years ago to SIDS. I'll have to say nothing has ever been so painful & I've suffered many things in my life but this was the worst. My prayer is that you will allow God to take your son & trust him in his care. If you don't know God you need to and learn to trust him to supply you with courage to face this. There is much strengh found in God's word and you can trust him to handle any situation. Dene

8/27/2002 09:17

Dear Deneybn34,
Thank you for joining this loving prayer circle and I am so sorry about the loss of your grandchild. I know that must be difficult too, I saw my mother and mother-in-law grieve deeply over my son Joseph. Now that I'm a new grandma 11 days now, I can relate to that special bond that you have with a grandchild. It's like they are you're own and a part of you. I understand what you said about allowing God to take our child or children and trust him/her to His care. And you know I do that all the time, but it's a process that we have to work through in our own time, one day at a time. I am relieved to know that God revealed to me that my Joe is in heaven with Him. I thank him everyday for that miracle! I pray and read His word daily and I believe if it weren't for the relationship I have with Him I wouldn't be here today to tell of His goodness to me. Thank you for speaking to us moms about the love god has for each of us and the help their is from Him if only we turn it oer to Him, for He is our only help and strenth. God Bless you Dene.
Dear Lord, I ask You to bless Dene and her family and continue to keep her strong in You. Continue to comfort her and give her Your peace. In Jesus Name, Amen. God Bless you Dene!
Love, Yvonne<><

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