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Shane Whalen
This Prayer Circle is Dedicated to my son Shane Whalen Who Passed Away On March 15, 1999 at the Age of 24, & All Other Children


Start a prayer circle for bereaved parents who have lost a child.


There are many of us out there who have lost a child, and it is devastating. It changes the outlook on life, plunges you into a depression, and you think that the feelings and thoughts you have nobody else could possibly relate to. I think a prayer circle for bereaved parents would only benefit us and help us on our journey of grief. This Circle is one of Love, where a Grieving Parent can safely come to for Prayers, and to talk about their feelings.

 
Shaner -10/14/2000
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DEBORAHPOO
7/29/2002 13:18

DEAR MARIAD54,
I'M SORRY FOR THE LOSS YOU HAVE GONE THROUGH AND YOUR RIGHT ABOUT HAVING FAITH, FOR IT WEREN'T FOR SHANER, VERNA, YVONNE, AND BARB TELLING ME TO BELIEVE IN OUR GOD ABOVE I DON'T KNOW HOW I WOULD OF MADE IT THIS FAR. WHEN I CAME TO THIS SIGHT I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT WAY TO TURN. WITH ALL OF THE PRAYERS AND KIND WORDS THEY OFFERED TO ME IT HELPED ME SO MUCH. I PRAY MORE NOW THAN I HAD EVER BEFORE AND I THANK THEM SO MUCH FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART. PLEASE KNOW THAT MY THOUGHTS AND PRAYERS OUR WITH YOU.

LUV DEBBY


DEBORAHPOO
7/29/2002 13:26

DEAR SHANER, YES THE PEOM IS SO TRUE FOR ALL OF US. WE WISH WE HAD NEVER FALLEN, IF IT WASNT FOR THOSE WHO HAVE FALLEN WE WOULD NOT BE AS STRONG AS WE ARE TODAY. THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE GOOD LUCK WORDS. I WILL DO MY BEST LIKE I'VE ALWAYS DONE OR EVEN MORE. I WILL KEEP YOU IN MY THOUGHTS AND PRAYERS.
LUV DEBBY


eudora
7/29/2002 14:31

Dearest Sandy,Debby,Verna,Tammy,Yvonne and all,I just wanted you all to know that i have not forgot about any of my friends here.I read the posts everyday and continue to pray for each and everyone.There have been a lot of new ones since i posted last and my heart breaks for each one i read.I am going to try to be more faithful here,not just to read but to post and hopefully be a blessing to someone.As i told you i have been deeply depressed but the Lord has been dealing with me about so many things.I have tried to give him what i wanted him to help me with and work on the rest myself.As you all know that doesn't work.You have to give it all to God,and just say,Lord here is my problems and here i am,God please do a work in my life.And he is doing that.I love him so much.He has been by my side the whole time and trying to comfort me and i would not let him.But that has all changed.Through my prayers and all of the prayers of my friends here and my church,Praise God i am being healed.Thank you all so much.I love each of you so much.Thank you,Debby for continuing to post at Carols memorial.Your poems are so beautiful.The message at church yesterday was about being restored,putting all your trust in God.Isn't it funny how sometimes it feels like the message is just for you?I know it is for everyone but it is wonderful when it hits home just when you need it.I wanted you to know that myself and my sister and other two brothers bought the monument for my brother Sams grave site.They are suppose to put it out there this week.It is beautiful.He loved the 91st Psalm so part of that verse will be on it and an eagle.He loved eagles.On the vase on the side it will say,"Our Little Bubba" I think he would be proud of it.Well i better go,I was cleaning house and felt the need to come here and write yall.Boy you can tell i am from the south.Ha.Again i love you all and Sandy i have said it before but i thank God everyday that you started this prayer circle.Even if you don't post you can read and pray with all your heart for all the heartbroken parents here.God hears us all when we cry out.You are an inspiration and you always seem to know what to say.That means so much to us all.Love,Barb


shaner
7/29/2002 20:35

Hello Barb (eudora), it's wonderful to see a post from you again! I'm so sorry that you're having a rough time lately, but as you say, when you hand it all over to God, then watch the changes that occur! Yes, it is amazing when the Sermon seems to fit you to a tee, relevant to your life and what's happening in it right now, so I'm happy for you that it hit home for you. I'm so happy that you still read the posts, and felt moved today to post here yourself. So many new moms, it's very sad. But hopefully we can all help to lift them up a little, through our love, understanding and prayers.
That sounds like a beautiful stone, Barb, for your brother, I know it may be hard the day you first visit it, but you go ahead and cry if you want, and I bet your Carol was right there to meet your brother Sam when he crossed over. Thank you for your very kind remarks Barb, I'm very happy that I started this Circle too! I love you all and remember everyone in my prayers.
Yes, Barb, saying 'y'all', gave it away, ha, ha! Love and prayers to you and hope to see more posts from you when you're up to it,
Luv Sandy


Happy24
7/30/2002 00:18

My prayers and thoughts are with all those who have suffered the lost of a child though illness, accident,
foul play or any other means.

It is hard to understand "why" but that is what faith is all about; trusting and believing in a loving God. God does not will evil things but will not retract nor interfer with gift of free will which makes us human.

God bless,
Dimples


LOVE2U
7/30/2002 05:57

Dear TimsMompPhyllis, ~ I am so very sorry to read about the loss of your precious son, Tim. Lord knows I can relate to the heartfelt pain and loss that you have known. I, too, have lost a child tragically, and without warning. My oldest of two daughters, Diane, was killed in chain reaction wreck, on August 31, 1996. When I first heard the news, I knew immediately that my life would never again be the same. Having said that, I still cannot imagine the kind of indescribable pain you have known. My heart goes out to you, dear one, and I will keep you in my heartfelt prayers.

I am running a bit behind on individual post because I'm having problems typing with my left hand. However, I have visited your Tim's memorial site that you created in his memory, and left a post to you there. I want you to know that your post there brought back a lot of memories for me. It was a very vivid reminder of how I felt when I learned that my daughter was no longer alive. Believe me, it took a long time to get to where I am today in accepting and dealing with life as it exists today. It is because of my faith in a loving God, and the many prayers that have been prayed for me, I have finally learned to take it one day at a time. We don't get over losing our precious children, but in time, and with much effort, we do learn to go on -- one minute, one hour, one day at a time. My heartfelt prayers are with you and family.
Love,
Verna


LOVE2U
7/30/2002 06:32


Dear Eudora, (Barb) ~ I want you to know you have made my day! When I clicked on to post to TimsMomPhyllis, the first post I zeroed in on was yours. :) I know it was because you have been on my mind so much. Your Carol has been sending me pennies from heaven almost every day! I just knew we would be hearing from you again soon. :) I have gotten so far behind with posting to everyone, but, like you, and all the other moms, I don't get behind when it comes to praying for everyone; and that's what's most important. And, don't worry about catching up. Anyone who reads one of your post has to know that they are covered in your prayers. :) And remember, it's O.K. to have some valley time! God bless you Barb, and thank You, Lord, and you too, Carol, for sending our Barb back to us! Isn't God WONDERFUL! All we have to do is wait on Him to answer our prayers, In His time, not ours!
Love,
Verna


shaner
7/30/2002 12:21

Hello Happy24, thank you for taking the time to post here at the Circle, we truly appreciate it when someone such as yourself posts, who hasn't lost a child. We very much appreciate your prayers, and yes, we have to put our trust in God as to the "Why". May God bless you in whatever way He knows you need it,
Luv Sandy


LOVE2U
7/30/2002 17:54

Hello All you wonderful Moms, :) Here is the poem I promised to share. It kind of reminds me of that wonderful place we call heaven. :)I gotta go cook, but I will try to come back later and post. God bless everyone!
Verna

THE LAND OF BEGINNING AGAIN

I wish there were some wonderful place
Called the Land of Beginning Again,
Where all our mistakes and all our heartaches
And all our poor selfish grief
Could be dropped like a shabby old coat at the door,
And never put on again.

I wish we could come on it all unaware,
Like the hunter who finds a lost trail;
And I wish that the one whom our blindness had done
The greatest injustice of all
Could be at the gates like an old friend that waits
For the comrade he’s gladdest to hail.

We could find the things we intended to do
But forgot and remembered too late,
Little praises unspoken, little promises broken,
And all of the thousand and one
Little duties neglected that might have been perfected
The day for one less fortunate.

It wouldn’t be possible not to be kind
In the Land of Beginning Again;
And the ones we misjudged and the ones whom we grudged
Their moments of victory here
Would find in the grasp of our loving handclasp
More than penitent lips could explain.

For what had been hardest we’d know had been best,
And what had seemed loss would be gain;
For there isn’t a sting that will not take wing
When we’ve faced it and laughed it away;
And I think that the laughter is most what we’re after
In the Land of Beginning Again.

So I wish there were some wonderful place
Called The Land of Beginning Again,
Where all our mistakes and all our heartaches
And all our poor selfish grief
Could be dropped like a shabby old coat at the door,
And never put on again.

by: Louisa Fletcher


shaner
7/31/2002 13:25

Hello Verna, thanks for posting the beautiful poem, it does remind one of Heaven, doesn't it!
Luv Sandy


LOVE2U
7/31/2002 14:12

My Prayer for Michael's Mom

Dear Father in heaven, ~ Michael's mom is hurting. Her heart has been shattered. She misses her Michael so. No one but You, God, can measure how deep her pain goes. To her, Lord, the indescribable pain that she is feeling seems too much to bear. Lord, only You can give her the kind of peace that she needs right now. God, You know my heart grieves for her. Lord, You know I have been where she is; in the very early stages of grieving for her precious child. Oh, how I remember what grief and pain I felt when I lost my precious Diane! Father, remember how I begged You to just let me die? Lord, You knew something I didn't know. You knew there would be other moms who would someday need to know that; as hard as it is to believe, there are indeed others who have known their kind of grief and pain! Lord, how I thank You for giving me the opportunity to be a small part of a wonderful group of caring moms who, because they too have known such indescribable pain and loss, will embrace Michael's mom and walk with her on her journey of grief. Lord, please reveal to her, that her precious son, Michael, has received the ultimate healing, and that he wants her to know that he is now her guardian angel; very present, as revealed in the precious child that he left behind. Please give her the strength to be there for her precious little grandaughter who needs all the love and hugs she can give -- even as she grieves!

Last, but not least, Lord, allow Michael's mom to lean heavily on You as she continues on her grief journey. Let her know that we will be here for her,and that she will not have to bear her cross alone! Thank You, Father, for hearing and answering my heartfelt prayer! In Your Son Jesus' name, Amen


LOVE2U
8/1/2002 06:05

Dear Newly Bereaved Moms, ~
First, let me say how sorry I am to read about the loss of your precious son/daughter. I, too, have lost a
child. I lost my beloved daughter, Diane, on August 31, 1996. I have known and felt deeply, the kind of
indescribable grief and pain that each of you are feeling at this stage of your grieving. Second, I can
assure you that God will send the Comforter to help ease your pain; to help heal your shattered heart. He
will not leave you or abandon you during your hours of deep sadness. He will help you to carry this cross.


LOVE2U
8/1/2002 06:08

The kind of help I speak of will come from many sources that God has already selected for each of you.
This help will come in the form of other moms who have lost their precious sons or daughters. Moms
who, had no idea what so ever, that the kind of grief that you are now feeling even existed. Like you, they
were caught completely off guard. I know I was. And, I found it almost impossible to believe that I would
ever be able to go on; to survive, in spite of all that I had been through -- but, I did.


LOVE2U
8/1/2002 06:11

Third, God cannot lie. He revealed in His Holy Word that He would send the Comforter; and He has. So,
expect it. You have begun a journey that will last a life time, but God has already seen to it that you will
not have to travel this road alone. Help and encouragement will come to you in the form of prayers, and
prayer request. You will be given some peace and understanding by reading and sharing prayers and
poetry that will help each of you to move on; even as you grieve the loss of your precious son/daughter.
There will come a time that the pain will not be so intense. Once you reach that stage in your grieving,
you will join others in praying for and encouraging other moms; especially the newly bereaved moms, to
move on, in spite of their indescribable grief and pain.


LOVE2U
8/1/2002 06:13

You will be introduced to books that will help you understand the different stages of the grieving process.
You will learn ways to deal with your grief. These are just a few of the many ways that God has already
set into motion for you, as you begin to learn to move on. In the beginning, you may not feel that you are
making much progress. There will be days when you will feel that you just can’t do it, because the pain in
your heart is so intense. This may happen over and over and over again; especially during special days
and any holiday. This is normal. It is a part of the grief process. You will have these moments -- but
they will not last. You need to know this now. The other moms who have been on this journey a while
longer, will tell you that this is true. It can happen at any stage of grieving. Time means nothing when it
comes to having what some of us moms refer to as “valley days.” Those days will come and go. The good
thing is, they are always followed with what we refer to as “hilltop days.”


LOVE2U
8/1/2002 06:16

On valley days we let the other moms know how we are feeling. It helps to talk about our children, as we
grieve. We know it’s safe to do so. No matter what we are going through, in addition to our grieving, we
will be prayed for -- and as a result, make it through whatever we are dealing with. We always know that
it’s O.K. to have our valley days, and sometimes valley weeks or months. What makes it so wonderful is,
we know it’s O.K. to grieve at our own pace. It does not matter how long you take to get through a valley
period. You will always have the blessed assurance that many, many prayers are being prayed for you,
and that hearts are warmed and spirits are lifted, once you make it through the valley period.

Like all the other wonderful moms, I thank God from the bottom of my heart for sending me to this
wonderful prayer circle that He inspired Sandy to create in memory of her precious son Shane. When I
joined this prayer circle, my grief was so heavy, I don’t remember how I found this circle. There are other
moms who will tell you the same thing. I will always believe that our heavenly Father led each of us to
this wonderful prayer circle, so that we could learn how to go on; especially on our valley days. As you
join other moms, please know that you will be embraced, and prayed for, by all the wonderful moms who,
like you, have lost their precious children. I pray that God will wrap His loving and powerful arms
around each of you and your families. May God give each of you those precious moments of peace for
which we pray. In Jesus’ name, Amen


LOVE2U
8/1/2002 10:32

Dear Yvonne, (dovesfromheaven), Thank you so much for praying for both me and my friend. I am doing O.K. thank God. My friend seems to be doing O.K. at the present time. Of course, as we both know, she is still in shock, and will be for a long time to come. I just thank God that I am able to be there for her as the need arises. I have been praying for her and her family, and for our newly bereaved parents; asking God to allow them to lean heavily on Him during these early stages of grieving.

As you can see in my post above, I have submitted a post to all our newly bereaved parents in an effort to catch up on posts. :) Since I have lost the use of a couple of fingers on my left hand, my ability to type is awful! :) Of course my ability to type fast has always been awful. :) But, I thank God that I can still peck type a little, even though it's a bit different.

I think it's so wonderful of you to make outfits for your precious grandchild. Please keep us posted and let us know the minute your precious grandchild arrives. I have a 7 year old grandson, Steven, and I can still recall the excitement I felt the night he was born. He weighed in at pounds and 1 ounce! :) Fortunately, his Mom, my baby girl, got to sleep through the whole thing.:)

I know what you mean, Yvonne; sometimes, even after all this time, I find myself wondering why my cross had to be so heavy. We may never know the complete answer to that question -- at least not on this side of heaven. However, God has provided us with the strength we need to go on in spite of the cross we must bear.


LOVE2U
8/1/2002 10:37

I believe in my heart that God has a devine purpose for each of us in this life. Once we have finished that
purpose, He then calls us back to our heavenly home. Only then, in my opinion, will He reveal to us the
whole picture. Only then will He provide the complete answer to the "Why" question.

As always, Yvonne, I pray that God will continue sending you doves from heaven, and blessing you with
those moments of peace and joy for which we pray.
Love,
Verna


LOVE2U
8/1/2002 11:26

Yvonne, I forgot to mention how sorry I am to read about both of your friends losses. I also cannot imagine how difficult it must be for parents who have lost more than one child. I remember how difficult it was for my dear mother when she lost the second of hedr three sons. God called her home on May 22, 2000 -- just a little over a year before her last son -- my precious brother, committed suicide as a result of the unbearable pain he had to endure due to terminal cancer. On the note he left behind, the first thing he wrote was, "Lord, forgive me...feeling bad again." The last thing he wrote was, "I may see my Mother."


LOVE2U
8/1/2002 11:56

Unexpected Blessings ~~

Thank You, God,for sending a happy thought my way
To blot out my depression
on a disappointing day.
Oh, God, the list is endless
of things to thank You for,
But I take them all for granted
and unconsciously ignore
That everything I think or do,
Each movement that I make,
Each measured rhythmic heartbeat,
each breath of life I take
Is something You have given me
for which there is no way
For me in all my "smallness"
to in any way repay.

By: Helen Steiner Rice


shaner
8/1/2002 15:26

Verna, you've definitely been busy! :) I'm sure the moms will appreciate your posts to them. This second poem is very inspirational, isn't it. Thanks once again for posting one, I know that everyone will come away from it with something relevant to them.
Luv Sandy


hothoosiers
8/1/2002 19:42

Dear everyone at this site who are so close to my heart:
Some of you may remember my posts about my grandmother's battle with numerous health issues. Well.... she was rushed to the hospital on Tuesday night. She is alive, but she is not awake and is not aware of anything going on around her. My grandfather found her on the bathroom floor when the dog was barking in the middle of the night.
No one knows what is wrong with her. The doctors keep running tests, but there are no answers yet. We all just sit there next to her...touching her and talking to her. My grandfather is a Methodist minister, so he is constantly reading the Bible and we are all praying.
I know that maybe her time has come. I have thought about that several times lately. I am 31 now, so she is not getting any younger; but for some reason you just always seem to think that your grandparents are always going to be there....maybe because they always have.
I think that this may be her time though, I don't know. Maybe she will be fine, no one really knows.
I just hope and pray that she knows and feels how much she is loved. When I was younger and in college, I did not call her and tell her how much I love her like I do now. What an idiot I was! This woman is an inspiration. Why didn't I realize that then? I thank God for the wisdom that she has given me and for her love to me, John, and the kids. I just am ashamed of the way I acted (or didn't) before I found the Lord and my church.
All of my problems seem so small to me now. I find myself thinking about when I was a child and all of the things that she did for me and my sister. I know that we all must die and go on to a better life, and she most definately will, but I am selfish and want my kids to know her the way that I did. I want them to benefit from her knowledge that I seemed to take advantage of. I guess what I am trying to say is that I am just not ready for her to go.... and unfortunately, that is not my decision.
I will accept the Lord's will, whatever it may be, and know that He knows best. I can only pray that my kids feel and learn what this wonderful woman gave and taught me. She will leave a tremendous legacy and a wonderful family if this is in fact her time. If it is......
Grandma Bradley:
You are the inspiration in my life.
You are the reason I am alive.
You comforted me when I was sad.
You disciplined me when I was bad.
You helped me to become the woman that I am.
You helped me find Jesus, you helped me understand.
I love you with all of my heart.
And if it is time, and we must part.
Please take a small piece of my soul;
so that when we meet again, I will be whole.


I love you Grandma Bradley with all of my heart and soul. And, I thank you for all of the inspiration and wisdom that you have given me over the years.
Love always,
Tammy


dovesfromheaven
8/2/2002 08:56

This must be my day for the tears to flow! and flow hard!
Dear Verna, The last time I read was on Wed. morning and so I began again this morning where I left off with the poem that you posted the other day, that was so beatuiful and the one yesterday too! Thank you for those. You truly speak from your heart and God has blessed you with compassion for others who are going through the grief and pain of losing a child. You could write a book on grief! You know that? You tell it just like it is right from the start. I think it must have been what I needed to hear. I was feeling bad yesterday after spending the day in the hospital with my Mom (she had to have an angiogram and will only need to be treated with medication, thank God! she is 84) It's hard to be in those types of settings you know? I was with my sister and hearing of all her troubles with her 16 yr old daughter that just found out is pregnant and is 5-1/2 months along already. I came home and just broke down with my husband realizing all the blessings that God has given me all of my life even though He has taken my sweet and precious son Joseph from our lives, I still have much to be thankful for. I am a totally different person because of it, for the better! I have a wonderful husband and children and now 2 baby granddaughters soon to be born. I was thinking of my Joseph when I got home too and I think that is what made me cry so much. I let it all out as I started to read all of your words that you wrote yesterday. There is so much healing yet isn't there? At times I feel like I'm doing good and then wham it hits you all over again. No one knows the pain like Jesus and all of you other moms that are going through this terrible pain of child loss. And then as I continued to read on I saw your letter to me, I couldn't believe you wrote to me. Now I know I needed to hear it all! You are so sweet to answer me like that with all that you are going through too. I'm sorry to hear of the loss of the use of your fingers, but you are doing good to post like that! God Bless you Verna! You know and then I read Tammy's post and I lost it all over again! I feel so much better now. It truly does help to let the tears flow. I was just thinking the other day as I went to visit Joe at the cemetary that I realized I couldn't cry anymore and wondering why sometimes do I not feel bad? and then the very next day here I am flowing like a river! I'm sorry for going on like this. I don't even know if I'm making sense, probably not!!! Thank you so much for writing your thoughts and prayers for the new bereaved Mothers.
Dear Lord, I ask you to be with Verna and to comfort her today and to help her with whatever task that you have planned for her today. Give her Your strength and power to get through each day. Give her Your peace that passes all understanding and help her with yet another anniversary approaching of her precious daughter Diane on August 31st. Give her sweet memories to hold onto. In Jesus Name, Amen. God Bless you Verna!
Love, Yvonne<><


dovesfromheaven
8/2/2002 09:11

Dear Tammy, It is so nice to see you writing again and I love to read your letters. I am sorry to hear of your Grandmother being in the hospital and not knowing what's wrong. It sounds like you and her have a very loving relationship, how wonderful! We never know when our time is come, I am keeping her in my prayers and you and the rest of your family. God knows what's best for each of us. But that sure doesn't make it easy to lose someone that we love dearly. I can see how she has impacted your life and now I believe you have many of her traits and are ministering to many because of it, including all of us here at this sight. I loved your sentimental poem at the end of your letter, what a beautiful tribute to Grandma! I cried through all of your letter too. It meant alot to me to hear of what's going on with you so that I can pray for you and your family.
Dear Father in Heaven, I ask You today to bring comfort and peace and understanding in the hearts of Tammy and her family concerning her Grandmother. I ask You to bring healing to Grandma Bradley in whatever way is best for her. You know what's best and we trust You with that. And Jesus continue to heal Tammy's body and restore her to perfect health. In Jesus Name, Amen. God Bless you Tammy!
Love, Yvonne<><

 
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