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Shane Whalen
This Prayer Circle is Dedicated to my son Shane Whalen Who Passed Away On March 15, 1999 at the Age of 24, & All Other Children

Start a prayer circle for bereaved parents who have lost a child.

There are many of us out there who have lost a child, and it is devastating. It changes the outlook on life, plunges you into a depression, and you think that the feelings and thoughts you have nobody else could possibly relate to. I think a prayer circle for bereaved parents would only benefit us and help us on our journey of grief. This Circle is one of Love, where a Grieving Parent can safely come to for Prayers, and to talk about their feelings.

Shaner -10/14/2000
send to a friend

Read Prayers.

7/17/2002 17:25


7/18/2002 00:31

To Debi (msjmd)Please know you have the prayers and support of all of us who have read the story of your loss. I know the pain of losing a child, but the loss you have endured is tremendous - but, you have endured, and will continue to do so with the help of loved ones, and the prayers of so many. Please post any time, or write to me

7/18/2002 02:37

Dear Weedbike, Thank you so much for your comforting words. I am so thankful I found this website, I don't even know how I found it, I was just desperate for something, anything that could help me. We live in a small community in a remote area and there are no support groups here for me that I know of. This helps a lot to talk to people like you who understand how I feel. My son, Michael, also had drug problems for about 10 years and I often worried about a drug overdose. He had two bad wrecks, one when he was 18 & just out of high school. He knocked out his front four teeth and broke his back in three places. Then, in September of 2000, just two weeks after I lost my cousin in a car wreck, Michael had another wreck. This time he fell asleep at the wheel and hit a utility pole. It scalped his head and they had to pull the membrane over his skull and sew it back and then pull his scalp back over and sew it back on. I was so afraid I would lose him then, but they released him from the emergency room the same day. He didn't give us any warning signs of suicide, but he was facing serving time in prison or going to the Salvation Army Rehab for six months when he shot himself. He was afraid if he left to go to the rehab that his wife would leave him & he would loose his daughter. This all sounds crazy, but it's coming out the way I think of it. He spent about six weeks in jail in January & Feburary for writing checks on my cousin. His wife sold his truck and got him out on bond and he came home and seemed to be handling things. Then she left for a week because he wasn't working, but he had no way to go to work and stayed home with his daughter. She was also seeing someone else & has continued seeing him since Michael's death. When she left Michael she only stayed gone one week and came back because of their daughter. Morgan missed her daddy so much she cried and his wife came back. I think Michael knew she was going to leave him again, and we've heard rumors that he owed money for drugs. I thought I knew everything about him, but I didn't. I did everything I could for him, we even let him drive one of our trucks the last three weeks of his life, trying to make things better for him. He was looking forward to his birthday the next day and had put a stereo in the truck the day before he killed himself. That doesn't sound like a man about to committ suicide, does it? Now I feel like I have to accept his wife with someone else because I don't want to loose my grandaughter. She's sleeping beside me right now. Her mama just got back last night from a vacation in Fla. Guess you know who she went with. She left Morgan with her other grandmother. I feel so much pain over all this I don't know what to do. Things are really a mess. My three daughters are 32, 31, and 12. The oldest ones don't have any feelings for Michael's wife because of the boyfriend but we all live close within 8 miles of each other, and we talk every day and cry a lot together. Thank you again for caring enough to send your prayers. Let me hear from you again. It does help. God Bless You, Phyllis

7/18/2002 04:14

dear phyllis,
I'm so sorry for the pain that you and your family are going through. I lost my son michael from and auto accident so i know some of the pain your going through. I have answers but you don't and that is so hard on any one. Know that your granddaughter needs all of your love right now no matter how old she is. When some thing like this happens to some one so young it could effect her in the long run when she is older. Give her lots of love and tell her all the time, she needs to hear it and let her know it's not her fault. My prayers are with you and your family.
luv debby

7/18/2002 13:41

Dear Debbie,(msjmd), I visited your website about your family, and it's truly beautiful, lovingly made, and a wonderful tribute to your family, all of your Angels. I can't imagine losing all of my family as you did, what a terrible pain to have to endure. May God shower you with His blessings and graces, and once again, a very beautiful website,
Luv Sandy

7/19/2002 08:16

Dear Debbie (msjmd), I also visited your website for your family. Thanks for making something so beautiful for your precious family for others to see. It spoke volumes to me. They truly are your Hero and Angels! God Bless you Debbie and I am praying for you. Dear Father, I ask You to minister Your Peace and Comfort to Debbie's broken heart today. In Jesus Name, Amen.
Love, Yvonne<><

7/19/2002 08:49

Dear Sandy, (Shaner), How are you doing this week? I know you were having a hard time last week. I have been praying for you. We do have those down times don't we? You would think it gets easier but it doesn't, I think because of the time that's passed since we've seen our children that makes it so hard sometimes and then to have to realize that we have to live the rest of our lives without them with us. I hate that so much. I feel your pain. Tomorrow it will be 2 years and 8 months to the day since Joe left our lives as we knew it. It happened on a Sat the 20 th of Nov. Today is our 30th wedding anniversary. These times are always hard. I was looking at some of the pictures we got back from Aaron's wedding and to see our three kids posing in some together and Joe was missing, it just broke my heart all over again. Sometimes I don't know how I feel. I want to feel happy and I am but I always have this hanging over my head and it just puts me back to reality. I don't know what to do sometimes with my feelings. I know Jesus is with me though, and I am forever grateful for His love for me. He has that for each one of us and what we are going through only causes us to look upward for His help, because He is our only hope. Thanks for all of your support Sandy to me and the rest of us mothers that come here and may God continue to bless you and this site for along time to come.
Dear Lord, I ask You to comfort Sandy's heart today as she leans on You for her strength. Bless her with peace today and continue to help her with her loss of her son Shane. In Jesus Name, Amen. God Bless you Sandy!
Love, Yvonne<><

7/19/2002 09:01

Dear Debby (Deborapoo), I just wanted to let you know that I am thinking of you and praying for you as you come close to another anniversary of Michael's death. I know how hard these times are. Sometimes just anticipating them is harder than the actual day itself. What has helped me is to do something to honor you child. We always would put a rose or two on Joe's grave on the anniversary and his b-day and whatever else is significant to us. My husband always takes the day off work so we can be together and that helps. I love the poems that you post, they are all very meaningful. Thank you for that Debby.
Dear Lord, I come before You today and ask you to help Debby with the upcoming anniversary of her precious son Michael's death. Give her fond memories of her son. Give her Your peace in her heart and comfort her with Your loving arms around her. Let her feel Your presence today in some way. In Jesus Name, Amen. God Bless you Debby!
Love, Yvonne<><

7/19/2002 09:18

Dear Tammy (Hothoosiers), Hello to you and welcome back. I am so glad you are on the mend dear one! You have been and still are such a blessing to all of us here. I have been praying for your healing and was so shocked to know what had happened to you. God was truly watching over you! I really think it's awesome how you have dealt with your circumstances for all that you have been through. God will bless you for seeking Him in what to do. And I know that the other family will benefit also from your prayers. You are such a sweetheart and have alot of wisdom for being so young! I love Billy Graham. He is one of the best that God has chosen to bring forth the gospel for our time. It's truly amazing to me how God speaks through the words of others to get to us. You have been blessed Tammy even though you have had to go through this time of suffering and you will be all the stronger in your faith for it. That's what trials and sufferings do. They either make us bitter or better. It's our choice how we deal with what's been handed us. God knows how much we can handle and he has promised us he wouldn't give us anymore than we can handle. Thank you for coming back and shring your story with all of us.
Dear Lord Jesus, I ask you to continue Your healing in Tammy's body. Make her whole and well again just like she was before. I thank you for the blessing that she is to this circle of prayer for us bereaved Moms and Dads. Bless her husband and her children and keep them all in Your Hands. In Jesus Name, Amen. God Bless you Tammy!
Love, Yvonne<><

7/19/2002 09:31

Dear Cristel, I am so sorry for the loss of your sweet little 2-1/2 year old daughter and all of the other losses in your family and so close together. I loved what you shared about what God revealed to you. God has also revealed to me some things about Joe. He truly is our only hope and I am so grateful to Him for being there for all of us in our time of need. He's there for us no matter how big or small the problem. We just need to take hold of Him. I hope you are getting along ok now. It still hurts I'm sure, for the pain never goes away as we all know, we just learn to live with it the best way we know how.
Dear Father, I ask You to bless Cristel and keep her in Your Hands always and continue to let her know You are with her always and forever. Give her Your comfort and peace in her heart today. In Jesus Name, Amen. God Bless you Cristel!
Love, Yvonne<><

7/19/2002 09:58

Dear Phyllis (Grndmmmy), I am so sorry for the loss of your precious son Michael. Please know that you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. It hasn't been very long for you and you are in so much shock right now and will be in for quite sometime. Please give yourself permission to grieve. You need to allow that time for yourself and to take care of yourself. It's good for you that you have your three daughters nearby to be with you. It helps to be able to talk about it and Michael no matter how painful and only you and your daughters know your pain. (My son Joseph died in a single car accident on Nov. 20th, 1999). I couldn't really talk to anyone else in my extended family because they didn't know Joe like we did and couldn't relate. I could only be with and talk to my husband and 3 other children for along time. You have your little granddaughter to hold onto and that is a good thing for you. I hope that that all works out for you. You have alot to deal with concerning the circumstances and my prayers are with you. I am so sorry you have to go through this pain. Losing a child to suicide has to be different than any other loss I'm sure. The Lord is with you and your precious Michael is in heaven, for God revealed that to you. Hold onto that. Thank you Phyllis for coming and sharing your pain with us and so early in grief journey. God Bless you. We know what it's like to lose a child but each of our circumstances are different. We have much of the same feelings. We hope that we can be helpful to each other in some way, if only to know that you are not alone in this.
Dear Father God, I ask You to give Phyllis Your comfort and peace in her broken heart as she grieves the loss of her son Michael. Give her peace that passes all understanding. Be with her in the deep pain that she is feeling right now. Let her feel Your presence in her life today and wrap Your loving arms around her and hold her close to Your side. Give her signs from above
that her Michael is ok now. In Jesus Name, Amen. God Be always with you Phyllis.
Love, Yvonne<><

7/19/2002 10:12

Dear Sandi (Weedbike), I am so sorry for your loss of your precious son Robby. It's only been a year for you and I'm sure the pain is still quite sharp. Thanks for coming back and posting to some of the newer ones here. I've been posting since Feb. on page 41. I am so thankful to have this circle to come to and express my feelings, because there really is no where else to talk about it. Family members don't want to hear about it all the time. I mean extended family members. My immediate family talks about Joe everyday. We will never forget. I hope that you are doing ok. My prayers are with you as you learn to deal with your loss. There is no other pain like that of losing a child or children. The pain cuts deep to the heart.
Dear Lord, I lift up Sandi to You and ask that You give her Your peace and comfort and help her to rely on you for her strength today and everyday. Continue the healing in her heart as she learns to deal with her grief of her loss of her son Robby. In Jesus Name, Amen. God Bless you Sandi.
Love, Yvonne<><

7/19/2002 10:38

Dear Verna (Love2U), How are you? I hope you are doing ok and are feeling ok too. I am so sorry to hear of yet another child loss. My prayers are with your friend and her family as they grieve the loss of their son and brother. God bless them and you Verna for being there as a support to them. We never know when we will be used of God to help someone else in their pain. It means alot to us when someone who's been through it to come along side us and be a support to us. I had that in the beginning of my grief. And since Joe's death, God has placed in my path parents that have needed what I was in need of. It gives us a deeper understanding of what others are going through that is for sure. I didn't know before, you know? All you can do is imagine what it's like and then you forget and think they are ok, but I don't think like that anymore. I feel deeply for others who have gone through this kind of loss now, it is most devastating. The Lord has shown me alot through my pain and I am truly a different person than I was before. It's hard for me to call it a blessing, because I don't like to think of Joe's dying a blessing, but it has changed me and has done some good things in our family, so I know that his death wasn't in vain and there is some comfort in that. There's always a reason for things happening like they do. But I still have to ask God, did Joe have to die for me to learn what I have learned? I don't know.
Well, anyway, Verna you are the one for your friend right now in the early days of her grief journey. Dear Lord Jesus, I ask You to be with Verna's friend as her and her family grieve the loss of their son and brother. Give them Your comfort and peace and let Your presence be known to them in these early days. Be with Verna also and help her as she is that support for her friend. Thank you Lord for all that Verna is to us here at this circle of prayer and bless her days. In Jesus Name, Amen. God Bless you Verna!
Love, Yvonne<><

7/19/2002 12:23

Hello Yvonne, and a very Happy Anniversary to you and your husband! You're so sweet and caring to ask how I'm doing, thank you so much for your prayers, yes, last week was a very hard one for me, it just came on suddenly, out of left field so to speak, and I just really missed my Shane. I think you're right, it's the passage of time since I've last seen him that really got to me, I just plain miss him in my life. And my life is so different now, it changed forever when he passed away, as I'm sure your's did also. I guess we'll always have these down times followed by good ones too, remembering all the love and joy that they brought into our lives, and how fortunate we are to be their mothers.
I pray that tomorrow isn't too hard on you, I do the same thing, every 15th of the month I count off the time that's passed since I lost Shane, and you do it with your precious Joe.
Oh, that's so nice to get some of the pictures back from the wedding, but I know it must have been difficult to look at them and know that Joe is missing from those pictures. I know it must be painful for you, God love you.
I'm the same way, Yvonne, I try to be happy, positive, but this is always there, hanging over my head too, and it's something that I have to learn to live with, just like you and the rest of our wonderful moms here. Yes, I don't know what I would do if I didn't have my faith, God has been so good to me since Shane passed away, and I'm always looking upwards too, asking for help and thanking Our Lord for His constant love and blessings. You're very welcome Yvonne for the kind words, but I'm the one who's truly blessed by all of you, this Circle helps me as much as it does everyone else. There's a lot of comfort, love and understanding on these pages from everyone, and we all benefit, I pray!
I hope you and your hubby have a wonderful Anniversary, and once again thank you so much for your beautiful prayer that you always put at the end of your post, they're so comforting! Love and prayers to you too Yvonne,
Luv Sandy

7/19/2002 17:39

Yvonne and Shaner, thank you for your kind support. Phyllis, I identify so much with what you say about Michael's drug use. They become so secretive, they have to! Every single kid in Robby's group of friends became addicted to Heroin in their Junior Year in High School. We live in a small town in Utah, you would think they'd be safe from that. I lost my mother to alcoholism years ago and my brother, thank God, has been sober 15 years now. It sounds like you did everything you could for him and you seem to be a wonderful mother. Your son had a difficult life. Most addicts have an underlying problem such as depression, past emotional pain, anxiety, or a physical ailment. They don't even realize they are self-medicating. If they don't get to the roots of their problem, they seldom succeed at recovery. I hate that I know so much about addiction! Michael doesn't have any of those pains any longer, Phyllis. My Robby had a lot of anxiety and emotional pain due to his biological dad. He is not fighting that any more. For that I am grateful. It will never be easy for any of us. July 17 was Rob's 21st birthday. I bought balloons in the early morning to take to the cemetery and basically lost it for the rest of the day. I had to leave work early because I just could not stop crying! I was a raving lunatic at the cemetery that morning. By the evening I was much better. I am lucky to have good family support. My husband and I went back to the cemetery, spread out a blanket and drank a bottle of champagne while toasting Robby and talking about him. Every time you think you are doing better, BOOM, you are not. That is just how it is for us now. I hope you find some comfort knowing Michael is not worrying any more about anything. I hope you will do your best to stay close your granddaughter's mother. I understand why it will be hard, but it will ensure you are close to this beautiful child, whom you really need in your life. Try to understand that there may be reasons (right or wrong) why her mother felt the need to have a boyfriend. You will be a link for this granddaughter to her Daddy. How fortunate for her to have you in her life. I pray that God gives you peace.

For the other Debbie (msjmd), I pray you are doing ok too. God bless you. Please keep us all posted on how you are.

God bless all mothers who grieve for thier children. Sandi

7/19/2002 20:08

dear yvonnne (dovesfromheaven) thank you so much for your thoughts and your prayers. My husband spends the day with me also and on the aug.12th i bring a dozen of roses with acouple of balloons that say happy birthday and i love you and then on the aug.14th i bring balloons that say i love you and miss you and thinking of you and another dozen of roses. i cry and look at his pictures and then think about all of the good times we shared together. your right about the pain on the arrival of his ann. so many emotions going through my head and how he looked when he was in the hospital all come back as if it was yesturday. some times i try shaken my head as if they would go away but it doesn't. i do feel much better after i have cried and reality sinks in that he will never walk through the door again. i visit the cemetery several times aweek and talk to him, bring flowers and just to think and some times i'm sad and other times i'm ok. it's a whole that we as parents who have lost a loved one have that will never go away. i want to thank you again for your prayers and know that your in my thoughts and prayer. luv debby

7/20/2002 03:54

It has been a little over a year since my baby boy "D" has went to heaven. Thank you for your prayers and thoughts. Thank you for being there for me. I miss him so very much and love him twice as hard. Thank you for remembering him.

7/20/2002 10:48

Hello Dsmom, your little one will always be in your heart, and love never dies, so he'll always be in your love and you in his forever too. His first year Anniversary must have been very hard on you, these 'special days' are always very hard on us. Our thoughts and prayers are with you always, especially during this difficult period for you, God bless you, we all know the pain of missing our child. May God bless you on your Journey, and may our prayers help you as you grieve,
Luv Sandy

7/20/2002 22:41

I know how you are feeling I lost a son also. It'll be three years August 13, I am only 26 and I was very shaken by this but, as I prayed about it at church one day I asked the Lord to strengthen me so I can go on. I have other children but he was the only son with my husband and I had just surgery to prevent me from having another. I Love the Lord and I know that he wouldn't put on me , or you more that you could handle. He loves us and we need to remember that through times like these we can count on him to make it better and take the pain away unfortunately I haven't had anotherbut if he wants me to I know he'll make a way. Look at it this way it may sadden the Lord to see us suffering, also to lose one of us we are his children.
my prayers will be with you.

7/20/2002 22:59

Dear Dovesfromheaven(Yvonne)
Thanks for answering my post. Your prayers are appreciated. My oldest son, Chris, is 27 and mentally challenged. Jason is 20, and attends Cinti Bible College as a sophomore. My only daughter, Kara,is 15 and a sophomore in the fall. I'm very proud of all of them, as you are of your own. What a coincidence that we both had three boys and a girl. It's certainly been an experience...some days my teenage daughter drives me nuts. But then I remember how close she is already to being grown, and I thank God that I have her for a few more years.

I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee...Hebrews 13:5

Dear Lord,
How empty our lives seem without our loved ones. You brought us together for a time and filled our lives with good and bad times. We cherish the memories of both, but still these memories cause our hearts pain.

Thank You for promising not to leave us, Jesus, even in this emptiness. When others disappear, You're right by us, no matter how we feel. We want to draw close to You today.

Fill our emptiness with Your healing love, Lord. Make us whole in You as You fill u with Your healing Spirit. Amen

7/20/2002 23:08

Dear Shaner(Sandy),
Thanks for always being there. You take so much time to talk to each of us, and I know how much I appreciate it. I sometimes find it hard time to keep up, and to take time to post. I do keep everyone in my prayers. I know you do, too. I hope this is a better week for you. I read earlier that you have been a little down. I'm sure I know how that is. Three years isn't long enough to recover from something that has changed our lives forever. I know that whole in my heart will never go away. I will go on, because I believe God has a plan. I don't know what it is, but in His time, not mine, I will know. I will see Matthew again in Heaven, and that makes it all bearable.

Dear God,
We know that the battle is already won. Jesus, through His death and resurrection, has conquered death, "that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish, but have eternal life"(John 3:15)

We know this, Father. We believe this. Lord, be with me today as I grieve. Wipe away our tears and give us faith in these dark hours, for the victory is already Yours. Amen

7/20/2002 23:29

Dear Friends,
This may be a long post, but I really think it is worth reading. I'm forwarding it from a friend of mine...I'm not sure where it originated.

7 "UPS"

1. Wake Up!...
Decide to have a good day.
"Today is the day that the Lord
hath made; Let us rejoice and be
glad in it."
Psalm 118:24

2. Dress It Up!...
The best way to dress it up is to
put on a smile. A smile is an in-
expensive way to improve your
looks. "The Lord does not look
at the things man looks at. Man
looks at outward appearance; But
the Lord looks at the heart."
1st Samuel 16:7

3. Shut Up!...
Say nice things and learn how to
listen. God gave us two ears and
one mouth, so He must have meant
for us to do twice as much listen-
ing as talking. "He who guards his
lips guards his soul."
Proverbs 13:3

4. Stand Up!...
For what you believe in.
You must stand for something or
you will fall for anything.
"Let us not be weary in doing
good;for at the proper time, we
will reap a harvest if we do not
give up. Therefore, as we have
opportunity, let us do good..."
Galations 6:9-10

5. Look Up!...
To the Lord.
"I can everything through Christ
who strengthens me."
Phillipians 4:13

6. Reach Up!...
For something higher.
"Trust in the Lord with all your
heart, and lean not unto your own
understanding. In all ways, ack-
nowledge Him, and He will direct
your path."
Proverbs 3:5-6

7. Lift Up!...
Your Prayers.
"Do not worry about anything;
instead Pray About Everything."
Phillipians 4:6


~~If God had a refrigerator, YOUR picture would be on it.

~~If He had a wallet, YOUR photo would be in it.

~~He sends YOU flowers every spring, and a sunrise every morning.

~~Whenever YOU want to talk, He'll listen.

~~He could live anywhere in the universe, and He chose YOUR heart.

~~What about the Christmas Gift He sent YOU in Bethlehem; not to mention that Friday at Calvary!


e-mail address:

7/21/2002 09:44

Hi b_debbra, thanks for your kind words and prayers for me, I know that all the prayers helped me through a bad week last week! This week I'm back to normal, whatever that is, we all know how our lives have changed since we lost our beloved child. Yes, God has a plan for each of us, and we go on, knowing as you say that one day we will see our child again, and that hole will be closed over forever! It's so hard sometimes, isn't it, but we always know that the bad days pass, and we once again remember all the good days, that bring a smile to our face, or a laugh to our heart.
I just loved the two things that you posted, they're wonderful, thanks for posting them! I hope and pray that you're doing alright over Matthew Debbra, as well as a mother can be. That's alright Debbra about not having time to post or read all of them all the time, we all lead busy lives, I'm just happy that you do post every now and then, and I know the other moms are too! I thank you for your prayers, and you know that you're prayed for here with love and understanding, God bless you sweetie. Thank you for your beautiful posts, everyone will enjoy reading them, and getting something from them, I know that I did. Our love and prayers are with you,
Luv Sandy

7/21/2002 09:56

Hello Angela62199, and welcome to the Circle. I'm so sorry to read about losing your son, a terrible pain to go through. It sounds as though you have a strong faith, so I know it helps your grieving for him a little better. That's so nice that you have other small children, they need you so much right now, and yes, Our Lord will be there for you and for any of us who turn to Him. He knows of our pain more intimately than anyone else ever could, and wants to help us with it. May He bless you Angela, and our prayers and thoughts are with you,
Luv Sandy

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