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Shane Whalen
This Prayer Circle is Dedicated to my son Shane Whalen Who Passed Away On March 15, 1999 at the Age of 24, & All Other Children


Start a prayer circle for bereaved parents who have lost a child.


There are many of us out there who have lost a child, and it is devastating. It changes the outlook on life, plunges you into a depression, and you think that the feelings and thoughts you have nobody else could possibly relate to. I think a prayer circle for bereaved parents would only benefit us and help us on our journey of grief. This Circle is one of Love, where a Grieving Parent can safely come to for Prayers, and to talk about their feelings.

 
Shaner -10/14/2000
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Read Prayers.


deborahpoo
7/12/2002 18:09

hi shaner,
sorry to hear your having a rough week to. it's been pretty hard for me this week. i've been waken up acouple of times at night and thinking of my michael and wishing he would walk through the door. his ann. is coming up next month so it's starting to hit me. also a'm getting ready for another exam on tuesday. and doing my hrs. at the daycare. i like staying busy though.
dear father please help shaner get through these rough times she is having right now, i ask this in your name the father, amen.

luv debby


shaner
7/12/2002 19:34

Hi Debby, thank you so much for your caring and your prayers, I really need them this week it seems. I've also had trouble sleeping, so I know what you mean. You'd love to see your Michael come walking through the door, and I'd love to see my Shane. But the hard part to grasp for me anyway, is that he won't and never will again. And you are starting to experience the pain of Michael's Anniversary coming up next month, which is always a very difficult time, God love you. We'll all help see you through it here, with our love and prayers. And I know you'll do well on your exam coming up, Our Lord will help you with it! Yes, it's good to be busy, helps keep our minds occupied and takes some of the pain away. I hope your land clearing is coming along too, that keeps you busy also, along with everything else. God bless you Debby, my love and prayers are with you too,
Luv Sandy


hothoosiers
7/12/2002 19:37

To all of my friends at this most blessed site:
I miss you all and pray that you are doing well. I have not read any back posts so please forgive me for not knowing much of anything right now. All I know is that I wanted to leave a post of love and prayer to all of you! I miss being on my computer everyday, but I know that each day that goes by is one day closer I am to being back to normal and the person that I was (or close to it).....
I am feeling good and moving around more and more. I am supposed to walk with my braces, but I cheat a lot. It does not hurt to walk without them, but I am not very fast. I go to physical therapy 3 times a week and it helps a lot. I am staying by myself in the house now a couple of times a week with the kids. It is getting easier, but bathtime is a struggle. Boy, can 1 year olds wiggle a lot when you don't have 100% control. My 3 1/2 year old, Kaitlyn, is turning into a little mommy for Kyle. She is such a big helper! She just wants to do everything. I really don't know what I would do without her. I am so blessed.
I have decided not to sue the person who hit me for punative damages. I struggled with this for quite some time. Some people have told me that I should, but to be honest with you, I don't think I would have anyway.
All of my medical bills have been taken care of and they will continue to be as long as I receive any care for anything related to the accident. Also they gave me lost wages and will pay any that I miss for any upcoming appointments, etc.
I just don't feel comfortable living off of someone's mistake. Maybe I am naive, but after I learned about this person's life and family, I just couldn't take anything from their family. I believe that the jail time, fines, public scrutiny, and lifetime embarrassment may be enough.
Please know that you are all in my prayers everyday and every night. My Kaitlyn still says God bless Shaner, eee-dora, and Miss Verna at every prayer whether it is dinner or bedtime. Thank you all for being my sanctuary of kindness, love, prayer and understanding.
I love you all,
Tammy


LOVE2U
7/13/2002 00:04

Hi Tammy, ~ This is the first time I have been able to post in quite some time. It seems like I have been away forever! :) I know it's just because I miss everyone so much. My computer is down and I will not be back online until some time Tuesday. I have tried everything, but have run in to problems everywhere I turn. But, I know things will work out in God's time; not mine. :) I am glad to know you are getting better each day. Tell your precious little daughter, Kaitlyn, I said thanks for the prayers she's been praying for us, and to please keep on praying. I know it's because of her prayers, and the prayers of others, that I am doing as well as I am. :) And, thank you, Tammy, for all the love and compassion that you continue to show to all of us moms. Please know we love you dearly, and will continue to keep you and family in our prayers.

Well, it's getting late, and I must get home. I came over to my daughter's to check my email and read a few posts and post to let everyone know that I hope to start posting again soon. Please know that I will continue praying for everyone and know that all of you will continue praying for me.
Much love to all,
Verna


cristel
7/13/2002 08:56

To all who reads, I would like to encourage each of you. There is no secret to what God can do if we belief in our hearts. I share with you a coping technique which will hopefully help you-My 2 1/2 yr old daughter was killed in a Wal-Mart store after only being in the store 6 minutes. My pride and joy, my Dad had just died in 1995 and was still overcoming his death at this time. Two weeks after little Semiyah was killed my mother found out she had cancer and five months later she died also. Eventhough my husband and I weren't together I still had the support of my motherinlaw until Jan 1999 she went to bed and never woke up. My mother's mom was in a nursing home facility but I still felt a sense of relief until 9months later she died too. I prayed to God and asked Him never to leave me and He answered, "I will Never leave you nor forsake you-I Promise and I can't lie." Know that the trial that we face have been sent to strengthen us and remember that they ae not in our heads but in our hearts. dont dwell on the accident-confront the issue and then work on thinking on things that are good lovely true of good report for bad is always at first vision but its our choice to think on the positive. Until we meet again I'll live my life to see them all again-Amen


shaner
7/13/2002 09:40

Hello Tammy! It's so nice to see a post from you again, we all miss you so much. I'm so happy to hear that you're slowly making progress, you're one brave, determined young lady and I know that you'll do it! Now you're able to spend a couple of days alone, with little Kaitlyn helping, :) so that shows that you're on the mend, and your determination to overcome your obstacles. I imagine that the leg braces must be very uncomfortable, but still necessary as well as the physical therapy. Gosh, you've had a long haul, haven't you, and I can only imagine what pain and discomfort you've been in, and still with your loving compassionate spirit, you're an inspiration to all. Isn't that so sweet of little Kaitlyn, you tell her that Shaner loves her and thanks her so much for her prayers, Jesus loves His little children. And tell her to give Kyle a hug and a kiss from us too!
I'm so happy to hear that all your expenses are being picked up for you, and that your wages are still going to you, what a load that must be off your mind and your husbands.
Tammy, I am in awe of your decision not to sue the person who caused the accident, you have a bigger Christian heart than some people I know. And for you to have empathy for them shows your faith in action, which is what God wants of us all. You're an inspiration to all, God bless you dearly, you're not naive, it's your wonderful loving spirit showing it's light!
Please look after yourself, get plenty of rest, enjoy this time with your family, and come back here when you're ready, hopefully with all of us praying for you it'll be sooner rather than later, we all miss you. Say hello to your husband for us, give your little ones a hug and kiss from us, and our love and prayers go out to you, you already know that, but I'll say it anyway. You're an outstanding young lady and I know that Our Lord has been by your side throughout all of this ordeal for you. May God bless you, sweetie, and our love and prayers are with you,
Luv Sandy


shaner
7/13/2002 09:51

Hello Cristel and welcome to the Circle.
I'm so very sorry to read about losing your little one, only 2 1/2, and then all your other losses. It must have been such an extremely rough time for you, first losing your precious daughter, then your other loved ones. Thank goodness you had your strong faith to lean back on, and you're so right, we may lose our loved ones, but God will always be there for us, He loves us all so much. Even through all the pain and loneliness that you've endured, God has been by your side, invited in by you, and staying right by your side as you mourned. Thank you for your post and advice, we all appreciate it. Trying to be positive is something I try to do everyday, even when it's incredibly hard. But we have much to be blessed for, and yes, we one day will see our loved one's again! Our thoughts and prayers are with you, please post again whenever you feel like it,
Luv Sandy


DEBORAHPOO
7/14/2002 09:36

~ Yesterday's Tears ~


~ Yesterday's tears build a river,
Washing the soul of its pain,
Cleansing the heart and mind
Like a gentle sweet spring rain.


When you feel you have cried your river
And your throat aches from tears shed
And your mind is exhausted from feeling
Or your heart feels as if it is dead...

Raise your eyes to the skies and recall
How lovely a full moon can be.
See the stars shining gently on all,
And remember how good friends can be.


Call that friend who you know is there,
Waiting to help you through pain,
The one who does not judge, but listens,
So that you may soon love again!


- Author Unknown -







DEBORAHPOO
7/14/2002 09:46

HI SHANER, THANK YOU FOR YOUR PRAYERS, I'M STILL HAVING A HARD WEEKEND BUT DEALING WITH IT. YES I WOULD LOVE TO SEE MICHAEL AND I KNOW HE WONT EVER COME WALKING IN THE DOOR AND THATS THE HARDEST PART KNOWING IT WILL NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN. I SAT ON THE SOFA AND CRIED YESTERDAY WHICH I HAVENT DONE IN A COUPLE OF WEEKS. SOME TIMES IT JUST FEELS SO MUCH BETTER AFTER I'VE CRIED AND I KNOW IT WILL HELP ME FOR A WHILE. JUST LIKE LOVE2U SAID WE DO THIS ONCE IN AWHILE TO RELEASE SOME OF OUR PAIN WE ARE FEELING INSIDE. IT WILL HELP ME FOR AWHILE BUT I WILL CRY AGAIN JUST LIKE ALL THE MOMS HERE WHO HAVE LOST A LOVED ONE. GOD BLESS YOU FOR HELPING ALL THE MOMS AND DADS WHO COME TO THIS CIRCLE THAT YOU HAVE CREATED TO HELP IN THE PAIN THEY ARE GOING THROUGH.

LUV DEBBY

DEAR FATHER, PLEASE PRAY FOR THE PARENTS WHO HAVE LOST A LOVED ONE AND PRAY THAT THEY WILL FIND STRENGHT AND PRAY THAT THE PAIN THEY ARE FEELING WILL EASE IN THE DAYS AHEAD PRAY THAT THEY WILL FIND THE COURAGE TO MOVE ON IN THEIR JOURNY, I ASK THIS IN YOUR NAME THE FATHER, AMEN


msjmd
7/15/2002 01:15

Hi, My name is Debbie and this is the first time I have been in the pray circle group. In October 2000, I lost my husband Dick 49, my daughter Shannon 18, my son J.P. 10, my son Matthew 9, and my grandson Donnie 23months. We had 2 fires in one week, at our regular house no one was at home, we moved to my sister's beachhouse and the following monday nite another fire. We were all asleep. No smoke detector,my husband woke me up and there was smoke in the house, when we opened up the bedroom door, the whole house was engulfed with flames and smoke. My husband went thru the door to save our children and I busted out a window and fell out. I tried and tried it seemed forever to get them out, but I was the only one to survive, lucky me huh? I heard my little jp crying and whippering inside but I could not get to him, after the accident, the police told me that they found my husband and my son together in the hallway, they almost made it out. The guilt that I have is unbearable. I feel like I do not deserve to live, i am still seeing doctors, and take medicine and suffer from major depression all from the accident. I have found the Lord and he has helped keep me alive. I have no other surviving children, my hopes and dreams are gone. I pray the lord take me home everyday. people tell me not to feel guilty, but, you just can't make it go away, thank you all for letting me share. and this is a wonderful group.


msjmd
7/15/2002 01:20

i am going to try to put my website of my husband and children here, i hope it works, sorry the blue link did'nt work, but here is the address. http://www.geocities.com/heroand4angels/


shaner
7/15/2002 09:01

Hi Deb, what a beautiful poem, and doesn't it ring so true for us all. We've all cried rivers until our throats ached, and still do. Thanks so much for posting it. I'm sorry that you're having a hard time right now Deb, so am I, but together with the love and prayers of this Circle we'll make it, I think you're at the phase of grieving where you realize it's final, and that phase can be a very rough one.
So you cry whenever you feel like it, it lets some of the pain out. I hope and pray for you that this week is better for you. God bless you Deb, you know you're loved and prayed for here all the time, everybody is,
Luv Sandy


shaner
7/15/2002 09:34

Hello Debbie (msjmd) and welcome to this Circle, I'm very happy that you found it. Oh, Debbie, what a heart-breaking story you've lived. I just cannot imagine all of the pain you must be in, losing all of your family, and all at once in a horrific fire. And to think it was the second fire that very week! My heart goes out to you in tears as I read your story. Your husband is a hero for what he tried to do, but I know you don't want a hero, you want your husband and family back.
Words alone from me just don't seem helpful, I wish I could hug you and let you cry, your pain is so great. I know you're asking yourself "Why me?", why you survived, but only God knows that reason. I'm so happy to read that you've found Jesus, He will be right by your side, as you go through this ordeal and beyond, He loves you greatly and will never leave you! You do deserve to live, although I know that the pain must be so intense that you wish yourself dead also, to escape the pain. I wanted to die also after my Shane died, but it was really the pain I wanted to end, not my life. And a lot of the other moms would tell you the same thing. But none of us here have lost our entire family as you have, God love you. I'm very happy to hear that you're receiving help, that, along with leaning heavily on God, will see you through this very heavy trial.
We could all tell you the same thing Debby, not to feel guilty, there's no way that it was your fault, but hopefully through therapy and Jesus helping you, you'll see that for yourself very soon. Once again, your story is so heart-breaking, and I know that other moms here will post to you also, with their own thoughts and prayers. You share here whenever you feel up to it Debbie, I'm very happy that you did, and I look forward to seeing another post from you, letting us know how you're doing, God bless you.
Thanks for posting your website, I'm going to take a look at it, I just know it's a beautiful one, made with your love for your family.
Heavenly Father, please keep Debbie close to you, give her the necessary physical and spiritual strength that she needs right now, and wrap your loving arms around her as she begins the slow process of healing, show her your great love, surround her with loving people, and walk with her throughout this dark valley she's in, I ask this through your Son, Our Lord and Saviour, Amen.
Debbie, our thoughts, love and prayers go out to you, please post back whenever you feel up to it, we're all concerned for you,
Luv Sandy


dovesfromheaven
7/15/2002 09:46

Dear Debbie (MSJMD),
I am in tears as I read your story. It's so terribly sad to know that you lost your whole family. I am so sorry for the losses you have endured of your husband Dick, and 3 children Shannon, J. P., Matthew and grandson Donnie. I can feel your pain but cannot even imagine what you are going through. The devastation is unbearable I'm sure. I know what I've gone through with losing my son Joe and it doesn't even compare. Please know that I am praying for you and will continue everyday. I am glad to know that you have found the Lord through all of this, for He is our only hope. I have said many times that if I didn't know Jesus I wouldn't be here today, for I wanted to die the whole first year. He has been my stronghold always and forever. I hope that you will let God comfort you and give you that peace that only He can place in your heart. He knows your pain. I know that He is with you right now at this moment because you wouldn't have come to this circle to tell your story. You are searching for some kind of comfort from your pain, you can be assured that each one here at this prayer circle will be in prayer for you everyday. It helps to talk about your loved ones and the feelings that you have. We all have guilt over losing our loved ones thinking that there could have been something we could have done to keep this all from happening. It's part of the grieving process. I'm glad you have gone for help for your depression. I hope that you will post again anytime you need to. God is with you Debbie and He loves you so much and wants to help you with your pain. I love you Debbie and I am here anytime you want to talk.
Dear Lord Jesus, You know what Debbie is going through in her heart with all the guilt feelings and helplessness and wanting to go home to be with You and her loved ones lost. I ask You Lord to fill Debbie's heart with Your Peace. Comfort her broken heart today and everyday. Help her to get through each day one day at a time. Give her signs of Your love for her and let them be so evident in her life. Give her Your Peace that passes all understanding. Give her hope in her heart and Lord I ask You to wrap Your loving arms around Debbie and let her feel Your Presence at this moment. In Jesus Name, Amen. God Bless you Debbie. I am praying for you.
Love, Yvonne<><


Weedbike
7/15/2002 14:06

For b_debbra and msjmd. I haven't posted for some time. Debbra, I lost my 19-year old son, Robby, a year ago in April, so I can relate to how you feel. Drugs are a true evil. I am finding some comfort in speaking to young people, recovering addicts, newspapers and talk shows about addiction and how we need to help addicts. It seems that when we give of ourself, for any cause, it releases some of our own pain. Speaking of pain, MSJMD, your note just broke my heart. How very humbling your story is for all of us. We feel so heartbroken, and then we hear a story like yours and wonder if we could survive it too. I felt like you did once, I wanted God to take me home to end my pain. I too was on antidepressants and hopefully, will be off them in the near future. You know, what helped me the most, besides prayer and family support, was reading books about the after life. I needed confirmation that it, in fact, existed. There are wonderful books in the New Age Section of most book stores or libraries. Someone gave me one and I was hooked. I read some by George Anderson, John Edward (who has a wonderful TV show on the Sci Fi Network) and many others. I read scientific studies done to proove this existance. I would pray to know the truth before reading these books and that was so helpful to me. I also read a book called When Me, Why This, Why Now? The author's name escapes me right now, but it was comforting also. I believe things happen for a reason and we have lessons to learn from our experiences. MSJMD, only time helps all of us. You will need much more time than most of us, I imagine. God bless you. Please, take very good care of yourself. Some day you will not be in so much pain, though it will never stop hurting. You will be able learn to live with it. You are stronger than you think, something the rest of us are finding out. We still get those left hooks out of the blue, that knock us right to the ground, but that is ok, we cry it out. Robby's 21st birthday is this Wednesday, the 17th. Our family plans to toast him with Champagne at the cemetery. Last year we had a huge party and all his friends came over. We've decided to make this an annual holiday and celebrate the fact that he was in our lives. Please feel free to write me off-group any time. I pray God grants all of us Serenity. God bless all of you and may He stay close to us as our loved ones are. Sandi


shaner
7/15/2002 19:54

Hello Weedbike, it's so nice to see you posting again. I applaud you greatly for speaking out against the dangers of drugs, young people just don't realize how dangerous they can be. It's always so wonderful when we can channel the energy of our grief into something positive, as you have certainly done! I've noticed that something positive always comes out of our grief over losing one of our precious children, whatever it may be for the individual, and that of course is a wonderful thing.
Celebrating the life of your Robby is a terrific idea, it's a great way to honour his life and his spirit! Our prayers will be with you on that day, and may God bless you and your's as you travel your own road after losing your beloved son. Our thoughts and prayers are with you,
Luv Sandy


hothoosiers
7/15/2002 21:47

Dear Sandy and all of my friends at this site;
Thank you so much for your encouraging words and love to me and my family. I only wish that I could live up to the person that the Lord wishes me to be. I have lived a checkered past, but I now relish the life that the Lord has given to me. I do not deserve the blessing of Kaitlyn and Kyle. I thank Him everyday for giving them to me of all people.....They make me realize what my life is for


To be honest with you, I thought about suing the person that hit me. I thought about living the rest of my life without working.....doing whatever I wanted with my family and children. But then, I asked myself.....What would I be doing if this had not have happened? I would be working and doing the same thing that I am now. Why should I do anything different? The "old me" would have loved this situation. A little discomfort for a life of comfort. I just cannot do it.

In my Billy Graham Decision magazine I will quote what finally changed my decision. (To those of you who celebrate another religion.....I believe in the right to honor whatever religion you choose. We were all chosen to be born into this world to live together and to love mankind no matter who we are or who we honor),this is only my personal belief:

The Lord frees us from sin. We may laugh at this and say that our sins are small and do not amount to anything. But, God is pure and righteous and holy, and in His sight we have caused offense. We cannot get away from hiding our sins. But here comes the glorious part.....Christ took the penalty of our sin. That is what the cross is all about. He died on the cross for people like you and me, sinneers who had failed Him and had broken His laws. He is willing to say to you and me, "I forgive you. And you can go to bed and sleep a new kind of sleep. You may find the past haunting you, but you are free. The full penalty has been paid. The judge will never say "I pronounce sentence on you," because Christ accepted that sentence for you, In Christ you are free. The truth makes us free. Satan no longer has power over us. Sin is no longer in command. We may slip and fall, but Christ is there to pick us up and to love us.
I am by no means perfect, and will never be: I have just learned to accept life however it is dealt me. I pray everyday for the 6 year old little girl and 3 year old little boy of the person who hit me to not be punished by their parent's mistake. They do not deserve to go through any hardship because of this.
I am lucky. I have a tremendous amount of family and friends to help me. I do not think that their family has the support that I do. Based on observation and reading the paper.....then no, they do not. I would never want to take anything financially from those children. They were born of the Lord. Whether they are raised by Him is not my decision.

So anyway, that is the latest about what is going on in my neck of the woods. I pray that everyone is safe and that you all feel comfort and peace right now and please know that I think and pray for you and your families often.

Love always,
Tammy


Grndmmmy
7/16/2002 10:41

Dear Shaner, I lost my son to suicide on June 10,2002, his 25th birthday. We don't know why & guess we never will, but I can tell you this is the hardest thing I've ever had to live with. He left a wife, a 4 year daughter he adored & she adored him, myself, 3 sisters who are devastated, grandparents, and many others who loved him so much. He was full of fun and full of life. His very presence would light up the room. Please pray for us. It has been five weeks now & I miss him so badly I don't know what to do. I've already read about people's beliefs on suicide & the only comfort I can find in all this is that I know Michael is in heaven with Jesus & I will see him again. This is my only hope. I would like to hear from others who have lost a child to suicide. I am searching desperately for help & comfort & feel like this is one place to find it. I tried to post a letter yesterday, but don't know if it got through. Thanks for listening. Love, Phyllis Mitchell Grndmmmy@aol.com


shaner
7/16/2002 12:06

Hello Tammy! It's so nice to see a post from you again, I hope this means that you're getting stronger day by day and your injuries are healing well for you. I know you still have a haul ahead of you, but as I said, you're a very brave and determined young woman, and you'll accomplish it. I know that Our Lord is happy with you, as I've said before, your shining spirit comes through on these pages. Tammy, trust me, we've all done things that we wished we hadn't, but by making mistakes, that's how we grow and learn, so don't be so hard on yourself. God has given you two wonderful children, He loves you and has entrusted them into your and your husband's loving care! Tammy, nobody I'm sure would have blamed you if you had sued the man who caused the accident, I bet there are people right now telling you how wrong you are not to. But you have to follow your own heart, and if that article by Rev. Graham touched your heart, then somewhere in there was a kernel of truth for you that planted the seed not to. It struck a powerful chord for you. And that's what's important, not what other people think you should do, but what you yourself think is best for your own personal spiritual well-being. So by following your own heart, you're remaining true to yourself, and have arrived at a decision that is comfortable for YOU to live with. And that's all that matters between you and God, doing what feels right to you. It doesn't surprise me to read that you're praying for this man's children, you're a kind, loving person, and with the power of prayer, who knows what positive affect you're having on these children's lives.
Yes, you're very blessed to have a loving family and friends around you for support, we all know of other people who aren't as fortunate as some of us are, God bless them. I still say that you're putting your faith into action, and that's what we're called to do, as hard as it may be sometimes. So I'm happy for you that the article helped you make your ultimate decision, I know that God put that article into your hands for a reason. God bless you sweetie, you're a wonder and a shining example, not only to your family, but to anyone that comes across your path. Thank you for sharing how you arrived at your decision, may there be great peace in your heart as you do what you consider is best for you and your family. I know that Our Lord is smiling sweetly on his dear Tammy!
Take good care of yourself, continue to gain your strength, and post here whenever you can, our love and prayers are always with you,
Luv Sandy


shaner
7/16/2002 12:37

Hello Phyllis, (Grndmmmy), I'm so very sorry to read about losing your son. Your loss is so recent, all of you must be in so much shock and disbelief, and a lot of pain. Losing a loved one to suicide brings up a lot of emotions, and unanswered questions as you say, but your son must have been in a great deal of pain to end his life. Now that pain is gone, and he's resting in God's arms. His wife and little girl, as well as the rest of your family need a lot of support right now, I pray that you're all reaching out to each other in your pain. Give yourself plenty of time with your grief right now, it's just happened, and as I said, you're in shock over it right now. I know how badly you're hurting, and how much you miss him, all of us here have lost a child, or in some cases children, and yes, there are some mothers here who've lost a child to suicide. So here at this Circle you're not alone, you will be supported and most definitely be prayed for, as well as his wife and little girl, God love them and the rest of his family. Losing a child is the worst pain that a parent will ever experience, so lean heavily on Jesus, He will see you and the rest of the family through all the dark hours. I hope that some of the other moms who've lost a child to suicide will post to you, but you can post here anytime you want, if just to talk, vent, or cry. We're all here for you as you try to comprehend your loss. May Our Lord walk beside you right now, giving you strength and comfort, and our love and prayers are with you and your's,
Luv Sandy


Weedbike
7/16/2002 13:06

Phyllis, I pray that God brings you comfort and peace soon. My 19-year-old son, Robby, died about a year ago due to an accidental drug overdose. So senseless. I also lost my 45-year-old brother-in-law 6 months before that to suicide. He was like a brother to me and I know how devastating it is to a family. The only thing that makes sense to me is undiagnosed depression. Men, in particular, are not good at verbalizing their feelings, so it's often missed. I do, however, believe things happen the way they are meant to, no matter how painful they are to us. Your son was in pain and now he is not. Now that he has more knowledge, I am sure he is sorry for the pain he caused his family. I believe your son will progress and learn in his next life and pray and guide his family in this life. Oh, it will hurt, Sweetie, for a very long time. I felt suicidal after my son left, so I understand now how a person can sink that low. It took antidepressants to get me back on my feet. I still miss my son, but I am starting to see it as a blessing, his leaving us. Being an addict, his life here would have been, and was, so very difficult and painful. That is over for him. We are left with the difficulties of missing our children, but they are at peace now! They will never know any more hardship and hurt. They will never know the pain of losing a loved one, because they will rejoice when it's our time! Only time will help you and your family. You need to do whatever helps you. Cry buckets of tears of you have to! You lost your baby, of course you need to do this! Pray, talk to anyone who will listen and read books that inspire you. Take good care of yourself and see your doctor if gets unbearable. In time, the memory of your sweet son will be nice and the pain won't be so sharp. I wish I could tell you it goes away, but it never really does. You do learn to accept it though and live with it, I promise you this. I pray that God gives you comfort and you become close to Him during your time of grief. It is so soon for you, I wish I could help more. Please write to me any time at Sandi@trophyhomes.com if you need to vent. Take care and God bless. Sandi


LOVE2U
7/17/2002 10:34

Hello Everyone!~ I pray that God will give each of you those precious moments of peace during the valley days. Please continue praying for me; that our Lord and Savior will give me the strength I need right now to be there for yet another close friend who lost her son this weekend. He was killed instantly in a very tragic head-on collision with a logging truck. It is believed that he fell asleep at the wheel and crossed the center line. This child and my Diane went to high school together, so this has really brought back some painful memories for me and my family.

Cheryl and I visited with the mother last night, and let her know that we will be there for her in any way that she needs us. So, please, keep this mom and her family in your heartfelt prayers.

I am dealing with some health problems at this time also. I thank God for all of you being there for me, and keeping me in your prayers.

My heart goes out to the newly bereaved moms who have joined us on our journey since my last post. I will keep each and everyone in my heartfelt prayers.
Love Always,
Verna


shaner
7/17/2002 12:51

Hello Verna, nice to see you posting again, but under sad circumstances. I'm sorry to read of your friend's son, but having been there yourself, I know you'll be a source of comfort and love to your friend, as she deals with her own tragedy, God bless her. Our thoughts and prayers are with her,
Luv Sandy


deborahpoo
7/17/2002 17:23

DEAR DEBBIE,
I'M SO SORRY FOR THE PAIN YOU ARE GOING THROUGH. I KNOW THE PAIN OF LOSING ONE LOVED ONE BUT WHEN IT WAS YOUR WHOLE FAMILY IT MAKES THE PAIN EVEN HARDER TO DEAL WITH. I'M SO HAPPY THAT YOU FOUND THIS CIRCLE. THERE ARE SO MANY WONDERFUL PEOPLE HERE WHO REALLY CARE. WHEN I'M FEELING DOWN I COME HERE TO READ ALOT OF THE POST AND IT HAS HELPED ME SO MUCH. I'M SO THANKFUL FOR THIS PRAYER CIRCLE AND I HOPE EVERYONE IS HELPFUL FOR YOU.
WHEN I WAS YOUNGER AND MY BOYS WHERE TODDLERS I WENT THROUGH A FIRE THAT TOOK EVERYTHING BUT MY FAMILY. I KNOW THAT KIND OF PAIN ASWELL AS THE PAIN OF LOSEING A LOVED ONE. FOR I LOST MY OLDEST SON TO A TERRIBLE CAR ACCIDENT ALMOST 2 YEARS NOW AND IT'S STILL VERY HARD ON SOME DAYS. EVERYONE HERE HAS HELPED ME WITH SO MANY PRAYERS AND COMFORTING WORDS. I HOPE YOU WILL KEEP COMING BACK AND POSTING. YOU ARE IN MY THOUGHTS AND PRAYERS.
DEAR FATHER PLEASE HELP DEBBIE TO FIND THE STRENGHT AND I PRAY THAT SHE WILL BE GUIDED ALONG HER JOURNY AND I PRAY THAT SHE WILL FIND SOME PEACE ALONG THE WAY, I ASK THIS IN YOUR NAME THE FATHER, AMEN.

 
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