Hello Everyone, and God's love, compasion, and peace to all today.
Hi Debby, ~ I love the poem that you shared with us. It touched me deeply. And the words are so true. I just love poetry, especially the kind that has such deep meanings. I think God gives us poems like the one you shared to help us express things we feel deep in our hearts. It lets us know that others have felt the same way. Again, thanks for sharing it with us.
Also Deb, I love reading your posts. I can tell that reading those books have been helped you greatly. Like you, I too, wish I had known about the importance of reading books on grieving during the early stages. I just know a lot of moms who have read most of your post have acted on your advice, as well as Sandy's and begun reading books on grieving. Like prayer, it sure does help with the grieving process.
Do have a peaceful 4th, and may God bless you and your family always.
Dear Cindy,~ My heart grieves for the mom who lost her third and last son. Please let her know that all of us here are praying for her, and that we share her pain. There is just no way anyone can know how deeply she is grieving. That is, no one but God. But I have faith that God will wrap His arms around her and give her the strength she needs during this time. Just the though of what she is going through brings tears to my eyes. I pray that the grief which I feel right now, at this very moment, will take some of her heartfelt grief and pain away. Please let her know how very much we care, and that all bereaved moms who post here are praying for daily; and that we will continue to do so.
May God bless you, Cindy, for letting Sandy know about the mom. As you already know, she most definitely will be prayed for here!
I pray that you and family will have a blessed and peaceful day in your very beautiful and peaceful memory garden that you created for your precious Kristina!
Hi Sandy, ~ I pray that God will shower all of us moms and our families with peaceful moments and fond memories throughout the day. :) Thank you and the other moms for your prayers for my son-in-law. My grandson, Steven, and I visited him in the hospital yesterday, and he seems to be feeling a lot better. Cheryl said his doctor really fussed at him for waiting so long to come in. She told him he almost waited too long, so he will have to spend a few more days there. Thank God it's only a virus of some kind, and if all goes well, he should be released some time this weekend. Both he and Cheryl asked that I thank you and the other moms for your prayers.
My computer is still giving me fits, ha-ha, but I'm trying to take Anthony's advice and not worry too much. At least, now, I go to bed much earlier, so I guess that's good. :) Once I figure things out, I will send you a few pages from my old aol mailbox. RR is sending someone out tomorrow afternoon to undo the damage I've managed to so to my new email addresses. I have not been able to send or receive mail since July 2nd. :) Thank God, I can still post here! :)
Hello Shaner & Love2u,
Your right our true life treasures can't be bought.I love reading poems that have so much meaning to them. When I first read that one I wanted to cry for it was so so true.
I've been going to the book store alot lately and buying and reading. I'm kinda having a valley day for my son is at his girlfriends, my husband is at the shop doing paper work and I'm home with the dogs and cat just reading to help me through my day. God Bless You and the other moms and Happy Fourth of July.
Dear Father, Fill us at daybreak with Your love, that all our days we may sing for joy, I ask this in your name the Father, Amen
Hello Verna, that's very good news indeed, your son-in-law feeling much better, and soon ready for release. He and Cheryl are very welcome for our prayers. Well, one good thing with your computer woes, you're going to bed much earlier, :), but I do hope that your computer is back up to par soon.
As you say, it works fine here at the Circle, so it can't be anything too major. We're experiencing a very bad heat wave at the moment, so other than swimming, I'm indoors where it's cool with a tall glass of ice water!
Hi Deb, I'm so sorry you're having a bad day, I had one myself yesterday so I know what you mean. They're inevitable Debby, we're going to have them, but fortunately they do pass.
Yes, your poem that you posted really spoke the truth, didn't it, the things that matter most in life, can't be bought. I'm so happy that the reading is helping you, there are so many, many good books out there on grieving and specifically on losing a child. They all give very good advice, and talk about exactly how we feel, and how it's ok to feel a certain way. Oh, that's such a sweet prayer that you posted for us all, God bless you too Deb, and you know our love and prayers are with you too,
HIS FAITHFUL CARE
WHEN LIFE GETS US DOWN
WITH IT'S TROUBLES AND CARES
AND WE ARE TOSSED BY THE WAVES
AND THE WIND OF THE AIR,
WE NEED ONLY TO LOOK
AT THE PLACES WE'VE BEEN,
THE STORMS AND THE TRAILS
AND THE DAYS WITH NO END,
FOR THEY EACH WILL REMIND US
HOW WE MADE IT THROUGH AND EACH WILL BRING HOPE
AND WITH IT COMFORT TOO,
FOR GOD'S CARE IS FOR ALWAYS,
NOT JUST NOW AND THEN,
EACH YESTERDAY AND TOMORROW,
EACH AND EVERY DAY MY FRIEND.
Hi Deb, that's a little poem but with a big message! We've had rough days, and God has been there always with us to carry us through, and always will be, and that's so comforting to know. Thanks for posting it,
WHEN I'M FEELING DOWN I READ SOME OF THE POEMS I HAVE FOUND AND THEY HELP ME TO BRIGHTEN UP MY DAY. AND I'M SO HAPPY THEY HELP YOU AND EVERYONE ELSE WHO COMES TO THIS BEAUTIFUL CIRCLE OF FRIENDS. LOVE AND PRAYERS TO YOU.
I'M GLAD TO HEAR THINGS ARE GOING WELL FOR YOUR SON-N-LAW. PLEASE KNOW THAT MY THOUGHTS AND PRAYERS ARE WITH YOU. GOD BLESS YOU. LUV DEBBY
DEAR FATHER PLEASE LET MY FRIENDS HERE AT THIS PRAYER CIRCLE AND EVERYWHERE HAVE A SAFE AND HAPPY FOURTH OF JULY, I ASK THIS IN YOUR NAME THE FATHER, AMEN.
Hello all Moms! A blessed, peace-filled week ahead is my prayer for you all, as each of us deals with our lives and our grief in our own individual ways. I pray that all of you are enjoying what you can of this summer so far, it too can be a rough time for us, remembering summer's past, spent with our child.
Yvonne, (dovesfromheaven), I missed your usual Monday morning posting, I hope and pray that all is well with you.
All of you are so dear to me and you know that all of you are in my thoughts, love, and prayers,
Hi Debby, (deborahpoo), Thank you for praying for my dear son-in-law, and also for praying for me. I always enjoy coming here and reading your post and beautiful poems that you share with all of us. Poetry, like prayer, seem to have a healing affect on us all. I have always believed that God sends us such strong messages in poems. I know He has given me quite a few poems over a period of many, many years that have brought such peace and healing; not only to me, Deb, but to many others.
[PART 2, HOPEFULLY WILL FOLLOW] :)
I will never forget the long but healing poem that God gave to me to write, just days after I lost a dear and devoted friend. Both she and her husband were killed instantly, in a very, very tragic head-on collision. She was a master teacher in the area of Special Education, and had just been promoted to the position of coordinator. She recruited me to go back to school to certify in the area of Sp. Ed. It was hard on me, because I had to take night classes in order to certify, as I continued to teach reading, language and social studies in regular ed. classes. But, I did it. During that time, my daughter, Diane, was 14 years old and Cheryl, my baby girl was 7. Unfortunately, she was killed just as I was looking forward to working in her department. The poem I wrote in her, and her husband's memory, was literally dictated to me by God's Holy Spirit. I was led to call it, Spear of Strength. I believe I have shared it (long ago) at our prayer circle here. If not, I know I did at one of the circles I started some time ago. Sandy might remember where it's posted. If not, I will check and let you know where it is.
Like now, (ha-ha!), I remember how much trouble I had trying to post it, because it was such a long poem! :) And, I think I had some repeats, and requested editing from Beliefnet. :) But, Deb, it really did help me deal with my heartfelt grief over losing a dearly devoted friend during that time, and years later, the death of my own beloved daughter, Diane. So, keep posting the prayers and poems from time to time. I know they help me deal with my losses, and I am sure the same is true for the other moms who have lost a child, as well as other loved ones and friends. May God continue to grant you those precious moments of peace for which we pray. As always, Debby, you and family, are in my thoughts, which places each of you, (including your precious son, Michael), in my heartfelt prayers. And, rest assured, I am already praying that God will help both of us get through our upcoming August(double dose) valley days!
Dear Debby, (deborahpoo), ~ The following Prayer and Poem are from a little book that a dear friend gave to me as a retirement gift. The title of the book is: When I'm On My Knees, by Anita Corrine Donihue. The ISBN # is: 1-55748-976-9. The prayer and poem that I'm about to share with you and the other bereaved moms, are in Part 5: Grief. pp. 74-75. I believe anyone who has lost a precious child, [or in some cases,... more than one child], have or will feel as the author describes in her compassionate prayer and poem. May God, in His tender mercy, continue to walk with us on our journey.
Lord, Take Me Home
At times like this, Lord, I can hardly stand all the hurts, tragedies, and sin in this world. I'm forced to brush shoulders with it every day.
It grieves me when loved ones and friends fall away from you, marriages disso.ve, and disaster strikes, over and over. What bothers me most is when I see little children suffer from abuse, illness, and neglect. Lord, please take me home, I'm tired of being here. I feel ashamed to pray this way. But, oh, the pain. Thank You for loving me in my weakest moments.
I read in Your Word when You said, "Not My will, but Thine be done." If you need to keep me here, so be it, dear Lord, although I long to be with You. As long as You have a purpose for me, I will serve You with all my heart. Grant me comfort and strength, I pray. And, Father, when you're finished with me here, I'm ready to come home to You.
Take Me Home
What is this tugging at my heart?
'Tis like a homing dove.
How can I long for a place unseen,
And feel His endless love?
Homesick and worn, I strive each day,
A broken soul to love.
But my broken heart aches to join,
My Savior up above.
How long must I fight the battles,
On tearstained fields for Thee?
"Until your task is finished here,"
He firmly said to me.
"I've covered your scars with my blood.
I've washed your hands and feet.
I've taken the sins of your soul.
To the mercy seat."
What love I feel in His voice,
His hands outstretched to me.
I'll serve until that moment,
His loving face I see.
Beautiful prayer, Verna, I love the way it could apply to any problem in life that is overwhelming to us. Thanks for posting it,
How are you? I hope that you are feeling better. I'm sorry I haven't posted for a while. Thanks for thinking of me. I've been still so busy. I was sick last week after the wedding, just stomach problems, I'm doing ok now. But I'm so very tired yet, I think I just need to get back into my regular routine of exercize and work, you know? It really is quite a letdown after all the work involved. And then letting my last child go, it's a loss in a sense too. They got back from their honeymoon on Monday and just left yesterday afternoon to go back to California. I'll be ok with it, I know it's all part of life. I now have my little granddaughters to look forward to.
There is so much pain here this week. I feel it all deep in my heart. I'm so sorry for the Mother who lost her 3rd son, I can't even imagine the pain she is going through right now. My prayers are that God will give her His Comfort and Peace in her heart.
I love the poems shared by Debby (Deborahpoo) and Verna. They are very meaningful and say it just like it is. Thanks for sharing them. I did a lot of reading in the beginning of my grief journey, just searching for some kind of relief from my pain, it only helped me understand that I was not the only one going through this, but I can't say I found any relief. I still can't believe it yet and it's been 2 years and almost 8 months. I want him to come home. I just miss him so much and the pain never goes away. Sometimes you just need to let it out and cry and cry. I do that every so often because it builds up to that point. You know I wish we could all meet sometime and just have a support group talk. I feel like I still need that. We did go to a support group in the beginning, it was helpful to a certain extent. Maybe someday we can all meet!
Well, I've been busy with my sewing job and now I'm going to make my daughter Sarah's baby's nursery bedding. That will be fun to do. She isn't due until Oct. 23rd so I have plenty of time but she wants it done now!!! My daughter-in-law is due in 4 weeks and I wanted to make some curtains for her baby's room and some other things. So I still have my work cut out for me, but it's fun work and not as stressful as a wedding!
Dear Father, I just want to thank You for everything and especially for this circle of prayer and the blessing that it is to me and I'm sure to all the other Mom's that come here. Thank You for providing an outlet for us grieving Moms. Thank You for loving us right where we're at in our journey of grief and for helping us to get through each day of our loss of our beloved child or children. I ask You Jesus to give each Mother Your Peace and Comfort that only comes from a loving Father in Heaven. I love You Lord and I ask You to Bless each one's day today in every way and let it be so evident to us. Wrap your arms around us all now. Thank You again Father God for always being with us in our pain. In Jesus Name, Amen. God Bless all of you!
My e-mail: firstname.lastname@example.org
I'm very new to this site, but I've tried to read some previous posts. I've not been able to read as many as I would have liked, since the site has so many postings. I have read references to books that have been helpful. Perhaps, Sandy, you could post these again for me. I'm still grieving Matthew's death. It will be 2 and one-half years on the 18th of this month. I have some consolation from reading the stories of other parents, but have trouble finding the time to stay on top of all the postings. I am a single mom who is on disability. I am bi-polar, along with suffering from obsessive-compulsive disorder, anxiety disorder, and post-traumatic stress disorder due to childhood sexual abuse from my stepfather. I've been stable now for several months, but I have been hospitalized a lot for depression and suicide attempts. I attend treatment groups for these mental illnesses during the week. I have 3 other children: Christoper(27) who is severely mentally challenged, Jason(20)who is in bible college, and Kara(15)who will be a sophomore in high school in the fall. Matthew died January 18, 2000, after snorting heroin for the 1st time. He was 22 yrs, 7 mths. and 11 days old. Along with everything else, I will be starting college on August 19th after being out of school for 30 years. I hope to get a bachelors degree in psychology. I wrote this poem when I was about 14. It's short, and not very good, but I still remember it.
We do not know when death will appear.
It may happen to me or to someone near.
It may be this evening, or some coming day.
It may happen to me any time, any way.
But if we know God as our Father above, and if we have lived a life with His love,
Then this path of death is not dim.
It leads to a Life and Peace up with Him.
I try to keep this in mind when I think of Matthew, and pray that he is in a better place, and that one day we will be reunited. There will be no pain, no tears, no drugs, no guns, no fear, no problems. We need to look forward to that time. Dear God, Today I pray that we appreciate the blessings that you give us everyday. I thank you for "loaning" this child to me for the length of his life. I thank you for happy memories that replay in my mind everyday. I thank you for the encouragement and love and support of friends. God, please bless all who read this. Amen.
Hello Yvonne, it's so nice to see you posting again! I'm not doing very well this week, like you, I just really miss my Shane and still want him to walk through that door. And it's been 3 years for me, but I don't think the pain ever does go away. I'm sorry to hear that you were ill, but feeling better now, yes, you probably just have to get back into your regular routine now, after all the preparations for the beautiful wedding. I understand what you mean about it being a let-down of sorts, after all the excitement and anticipation of the wedding, but you do have your grandchildrent to look forward to now, and with your 'empty nest' you'll have plenty of time to give to them! And you have your wonderful talent of sewing, all the more special for your family, they're the lucky beneficiaries of your work!
So you didn't find that the books helped you all that much? At least though they helped you realize that no, you weren't alone, others who have gone through this have much of the same feelings as we do. And you also reached out to a support group, so did I, and that helped me more than anything really, being able to talk about my loss with other moms who knew what I was experiencing. I still go every now and then, to try and help the new moms. Gosh yes, wouldn't it be something for all of us to meet, sit down face to face and just talk, it would be a wonderful session, a meeting of love and understanding! It's so nice to hear from you again Yvonne, and my prayer for you is that you find some peace through your tears, find a dove, and hold onto your memories of Joe, knowing that one day you will see him again! Thanks once again for the beautiful prayer that you always post at the end of your's, I always love them, love, prayers to you, Yvonne,
Dear b debbra,
Thanks for writing your story and your circumstances. I feel your pain. I'm so sorry you have to endure all that you are right now. I pray for you that you will let yourself rely fully on Jesus for your strength. Only He can help you through this pain. Your son Matthew died only 2 months after my son Joesph. Joseph was killed in a car accident on Nov. 20th, 1999. I'm so sorry for your loss. You will always grieve your son's death. It does get better but the pain never goes away. In the beginning of my grief journey I just wanted to die myself the pain was so great. (If I would not have known Jesus I probably wouldn't be here today. He was and still is my stronghold.) You learn to live with it some how. We have to. We have no choice. My husband and I went to a support group after 3 months and like I said before it helped to an extent, but we were looking for relief. You mentioned books. In our group at that time we went through a book called "Understanding Grief" Helping Yourself Heal, by Alan D. Wolfelt, Ph. D. It was very good in helping you understand what and how to cope with our loss. It has spaces for answering questions which I have found to be very helpful to write down how I'm feeling about it all. I have always done alot of journeling all of my life. I read alot of other books too in the beginning, mostly other peoples' experiences, but none as helpful as this one.~~~~I liked the poem you shared above. You were 14 when you wrote that? I think it is very good and very insightful for a 14 yr old! Good for you in continuing your education! More power to you or I should say more of God's Power to you!!! ~~~~You have 3 boys and a girl just like me. And it was your 2nd son also that passed away. And you also have a son in Bible College, so do I! Where does he go? My 3rd son (Aaron 22) and his new bride Brianne are both at Life Pacific College (formerly Life Bible Colege) in San Dimas, Ca, near LA. He believes he is being called to preach, that's what he said when he was home recently. My daughter Sarah (24) and her husband Jon are Youth Pastors in Wisconsin. And my oldest son Bryan (29) and his wife Tara are in the Quad Cities eagerly awaiting the arrival of their first child in August. They are not in the ministry but are doing well with their lives and moving forward. It was only a week after they got married that Joe died and he was Bryan's best man. It was very devastating to Bryan, they were each other's best friend. Actually Joe was Aaron's and Sarah's best friend too but Bryan and Joe did alot more together and even lived together for a while. They were 2 years apart in age. I better log off before I lose this!
Dear Lord, I ask You to help b debbra in her pain and all that she has to cope with in her family. Give her Your strength and healing in her heart. Wrap your loving arms around her and let her feel Your Presence right now as she leans on You today! Give her the strength and ability to move forward in her education and give her Your Peace and Comfort today. In Jesus Name, Amen. God Bless you b debbra!
Hello b_debbra, it's nice to see you posting again, I remember you well, you're not a stranger here! Gosh, I just wanted to cry after reading your post, you've certainly had a rough life, but with God's help you are a survivor and I know that you're going to make it! I know, it's very hard to read all the back posts, there are so many of them, so don't bother, just post here anytime you feel like it, I'll always answer your post. You sound like you have a lovely family, 3 children soon to grow up and spread their own wings, and you going back to school, I think that's wonderful and I applaud you for it! I think you'll get something out of reading the many books there are on grieving, or the loss of a child, my one favourite is Lament for a Son, it really struck home with me, and the other is When Bad Things Happen to Good People, I know you'd get a lot out of that one. You can check out some books here at Beliefnet on their Grief and Loss page, or at your public library. There are more books, I just can't think of them right now off the top of my head, I read so many of them myself, but Lament for a Son is my favourite. You find the one that 'speaks' to you, there's hundreds of them out there.
I'm so happy for you that you have your support groups to attend, and I pray that they bring you comfort and understanding as you attend them. I'm so sorry about your son, Matthew, young people just don't realize how dangerous these drugs can be, I've heard of other's who've tried them once, and unfortunately they died from them too.
Your Matthew still loves you and is with you, love never dies, and he's there for you when you need him, watching over his beloved mom and siblings. He's your own special Angel for you now. I know it's little consolation when we're missing them so much, let the tears come, like Yvonne does as she said in her post, it's not good to keep them bottled up. We're always going to miss our children, and some of the pain is always going to be there. For some reason this week has been tough on me with my Shane, missing him so much, after 3 years, so you see, it's a lifelong process of learing to live with the loss and the pain that goes with it.
You're a very brave and courageous lady to come through all you have, and as I said, I applaud you greatly for going back to school. I loved your little poem, it is very good, gosh, you were only fourteen when you wrote it, it's very profound for someone as young as you were. I love what you wrote at the end, about Matthew and no more pain, that's how I envision Heaven too, all of life's rough roads gone, and as Our Lord promised, no more tears. May God bless you b_debbra, and your family, please post here anytime you want, and my love, thoughts and prayers are with you,
what a beautiful poem. i read it over,over, and over to let the words sink in the meaning behind them. the words have so much truth to them. thank you for sharing it with me and the other moms. i do remember reading your poem that you dedicated to your dear friend and her husband way back in the circle. i'm going to go back and find it to read it again. thank you for the isbn# too. i love going to book stores andi end up right at the books for praying and then i look at books with beautiful poems because they have been lifting my spirits up latley. thank you for praying for me and my family. i will continue praying for yours and the other moms too. your in my thoughts and prayer daily.
the last couple of days on my way home going up the road i have seen a dove and i think of you and your joe. then i say a prayer. i'm always thinking of the moms here at the circle. dear god please watch over the moms here at this circle and give them strenght and guide them the way, i ask this in your name the father, amen.