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Shane Whalen
This Prayer Circle is Dedicated to my son Shane Whalen Who Passed Away On March 15, 1999 at the Age of 24, & All Other Children


Start a prayer circle for bereaved parents who have lost a child.


There are many of us out there who have lost a child, and it is devastating. It changes the outlook on life, plunges you into a depression, and you think that the feelings and thoughts you have nobody else could possibly relate to. I think a prayer circle for bereaved parents would only benefit us and help us on our journey of grief. This Circle is one of Love, where a Grieving Parent can safely come to for Prayers, and to talk about their feelings.

 
Shaner -10/14/2000
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shaner
6/22/2002 09:05

Hello our Tammy and John! It was so nice to come to the Circle this morning and see that you both had posted! You know we've all missed you so much around here, and we want you to take your time getting better, for yourself, and for your family. We're all very happy that the e-mails that you've received have helped cheer you up a bit, getting back on your feet so to speak may take a while, but you're still in our thoughts and prayers!
John, you have a very special wife, she has an innate sense of understanding each and every mom that posts here at this Circle, so she must truly be a blessing to have as a wife and a mother!
Lots of prayers and love to you, and I'm so happy, once again, that you both posted! (Maybe we'll see another one soon, :).
Luv Sandy


shaner
6/22/2002 09:22

Hello b_debbra, I'm so happy that you wrote back to tell us how Matthew's birthday went for you. These special days are certainly hard ones to deal with, so I'm very happy to read that you spent it with one of Matthew's friends, their friends, I find, help me a great deal in the road of grief. Perhaps because they knew them so well themselves. That was certainly very nice of them to help you through a hard day, and even going to the cememtary with you, helping to support you on his birthday. I know, sweetie, they will always be on our minds, even after 3 years, my Shane is forever on my mind, and the sad, valley days still come around. I believe they always will, but the good days start to eventually outweigh the bad ones. But it takes a lot of time for that to occur! Yes, you're certainly blessed to have Matthew's daughter, when you look at her, you see your son, a very big part of him! All in all it sounds as though you commemorated Matthew's birthday really nicely, putting the wind chimes there, I just know that he loves them, and was there with you when you put them at his site, helping you to get through a bad day. Yes, we're all praying for the Smart family, what a nightmare they must be living right now.
Our children were sent to us for a reason, to enrich our lives and teach us something, I believe, and when their work here on earth was done, God called them back home. Sometimes I keep asking "Why" when I'm having a bad day, but like you, I look forward to the day when we're re-united again. You're so very welcome for our prayers, and we truly appreciate your's, our continued love and prayers to you, and please post back whenever you feel like it,
Luv Sandy


deborahpoo
6/23/2002 04:24

DEAR B DEBBRA,
I'M GLAD TO HEAR YOU MADE IT THROU MATTHEW'S BIRTHDAY, I KNOW HOW PAINFUL IT WAS FOR YOU. FOR NOT ONLY WAS IT HIS BIRTHDAY BUT ALSO FATHER'S DAY. I'M SO GLAD YOUR ABLE TO SEE HIS DAUGHTER. MY SON MICHAEL PASSED AWAY ON AUG. 14TH 2000, TWO DAYS AFTER HIS 19TH BIRTHDAY AND IT'S STILL VERY HARD FOR ME. I ON THE OTHER HAND HAVE NEVER SEEN HIS DAUGHTER. IT HURTS ALOT KNOWING APART OF HIM IS A LIVE IN HER AND I'VE NEVER SEEN HER, BUT I KNOW IN TIME AND PRAYERS THAT ONE OF THESE DAYS I WILL MEET HER. I WILL CONTINUE TO PRAY FOR YOU AND YOUR FAIMLY AND KNOW THAT YOUR IN MY THOUGHTS AND PRAYERS.
LUV DEBBY


deborahpoo
6/23/2002 04:36

DEAR HOTHOOSIERS,
I'M SO HAPPY TO SEE YOU POSTING AGAIN AND GLAD TO HEAR YOUR DOING ALRIGHT. I KNOW IT'S HARD TO POST LIKE YOU DID BUT IN TIME YOU'LL BE DOING AGAIN. JUST POST WHEN YOU CAN WHERE ALWAYS HAPPY TO HEAR HOW YOUR DOING. SORRY TO HEAR YOU HAVE ALONG ROAD AHEAD BUT YOU JUST LISTEN TO THE DR'S ORDERS! YOUR IN MY THOUGHTS AND PRAYERS DAILY, BEST OF LUCK. LUV DEBBY


DEBORAHPOO
6/23/2002 04:53

DEAR HOTHOOSIERS,
I'M SO HAPPY TO SEE YOU POST AGAIN AND LETTING US KNOW HOW YOUR DOING. SORRY TO HEAR YOU HAVE ALONG ROAD AHEAD BUT KNOW YOUR IN OUR HEARTS AND PRAYERS FOR A SPEEDY RECUVERY. YOU POST WHEN YOU CAN TO LET US KNOW HOW YOUR DOING. YOUR IN MY THOUGHTS AND PRAYERS! LUV DEBBY


DEBORAHPOO
6/23/2002 04:54

SORRY ABOUT THE DOUBLE POST BUT I WAS TOLD GOOD BYE AND DIDN'T THINK IT WENT THROUGH.


DEBORAHPOO
6/23/2002 04:59

DEAR JOHN,
YOUR WIFE IS A SPECIAL PERSON JUST LIKE THE OTHER MOMS HERE ARE. WHEN I FIRST CAME TO THIS SITE I HAD SO MANY QUESTIONS AND THE MOMS HERE HELPED ME WITH COMFORTING WORDS AND PRAYERS THAT HELPED ME THEY ALSO GAVE ME ADVISE ON SOME BOOKS TO READ AND THEY HAVE HELPED ME SO MUCH. I DON'T KNOW WHAT I WOULD OF DONE IF IT WASN'T FOR THE MOMS HERE. THANK YOU SO MUCH. LUV DEBBY


shaner
6/23/2002 11:31

Hi Debby, nice to see you posting too, and I'm very happy that the books have helped you out a great deal, they really speak right from our hearts, don't they, and also help us understand too. Love and prayers to you,
Luv Sandy


deborahpoo
6/24/2002 05:08

HI SHANER,
YES THE BOOKS DO SPEAK FROM THE HEART. I WISH I HAD KNOWN ABOUT THEM IN THE FIRST YEAR AFTER MICHAEL PAST.
I FOUND OUT ON MONDAY THAT MY SISTER (TAMMY) IS GOING TO HAVE ANOTHER BABY.
SHE IS SO HAPPY. HER SON IS 11 AND HER AND HER FANCI PLANNED THIS. MY MOM WASN'T TOO HAPPY THOUGH. SHE IS COMPLAING THAT SHE IS 55 AND SHE WILL HAVE 10 GRAND CHILDREN. WE JUST TOLD HER WHAT DO YOU WANT WITH 6 KIDS. I CRIED WHEN SHE TOLD ME. TIM AND I HAVE BEEN TRYING BUT NOTHEN. IN 97 I LOST ONE AND HAVE BEEN ON NOTHEN AND NOTHEN HAS HAPPENED. THE DR IS RUNNING SOME TEST FROM MY BLOOD WORK I HAD DONE. WILL SEE. WELL I NEED TO GO AND STUDY FOR MY EXAM ON THURSDAY SO I'LL TRY TO POST BEFORE THEN. LOVE AND PRAYERS TO YOU. LUV DEBBY


shaner
6/24/2002 06:41

Hi Debby, yes, the books are a Godsend, they truly help out a lot, especially at the beginning when you need the help the most, but they speak to you at any time during your grieving, so I'd recommend strongly that moms read them.
That's wonderful news about your sis, and your mother being so young and having lots of grandchildren. I wish you and your hubby all the best, trying to have another child, that's wonderful!
I'm sorry to read that you had a miscarriage, they can be a painful loss also. Best of luck on your exam, and our love and prayers are with you,
Luv Sandy


shaner
6/24/2002 12:50

Dear Yvonne, (dovesfromheaven), I know you're very busy this week, getting all the last minute preparations in place for Aaron's wedding, but we're thinking of you and your family, while you celebrate a very joyous event, and you know our love and prayers are with you at this time. Somehow I just know that they're will be Doves there! Please post and let us know how it went,
Luv Sandy


LOVE2U
6/26/2002 04:02

Hello Yvonne, (dovesfromheaven) ~ Just a brief note to let you
know that Iím thinking of you and the big event thatís about to
take place. I, too, know this has to be a very, very busy time
for you and all the family. I just wanted to let you know that
all of us here at the circle will be there with you in spirit, as
will your precious Joe. :) I look forward to you sharing the
occasion with us in the near future. Just know that you and
family are in our thoughts, which places you in our prayers. :)
Love,
Verna


LOVE2U
6/26/2002 05:15

Hi Sandy, (shaner)~ I am still on my old computer. :) However, I am counting my blessings. I am so glad that I had this one to fall back on. We were out of town this weekend, so I am just getting around to doing a few posts. I spent most of yesterday and last night reading back posts. I always feel blessed when I read the compassionate posts that all the moms post here. It just warms my heart and makes me all the more grateful that I am a member of such a loving and caring prayer circle.

There are still so many, many moms who are just beginning their grief journey. Every time I come across a post submitted by someone new to our circle, I thank God for sending them to us. Although our prayer circle was born as the result of the indescribable grief of one parent, (you, Sandy:), ... It has brought so much healing to so many grieving parents.

Like most of the moms who post here, when God led me to this prayer circle, I was so thankful that I had found a place where I knew the members could relate to what I was feeling inside. As time passed, however, I discovered my reasons for coming back was because I felt this over powering need to pray for, encourage, and show compassion to the other moms who had lost a child, just as I had been prayed for, encouraged, and shown compassion when I first joined. I believe that is the key, that unlocks the door, to our strength, our healing, as we continue on our journey of grief.

As for the valley days, those special days,...we will continue to have them; but it sure does help to know that we are not alone;... that there are others who understand, and care, and are praying for us! And, that sure does make a big difference when it comes to learning how to go on in spite of the grief and pain we must learn to endure.
So, I just wanted to say thank You,God, for whispering into Sandy's (shaner's) ear! :) And, I thank God for each and every mom, for sharing each and every prayer request, and for the prayers you have prayed for others; not only the moms who post here, but for any mom who have lost a precious child... even as you grieve.

I pray that our Lord and Savior will always keep each of you, and your family in His loving care!
Love,
Verna


shaner
6/26/2002 09:20

Hi Verna, nice to see you posting again too! I'm happy for you that your comp. is up and running, and you're able to use it until your other one is fixed.
It truly is a blessing, isn't it, to come to this Circle and read, share, love and pray for other moms, it helps me in my own grieving process. And as you said, we, who are further down the road can reach back and try to help those who, unfortunately, are just starting this rough journey. I'm overjoyed that God has sent so many moms and dads to this Circle, He has truly been holding my hand since I started this Circle, and I'm truly blessed to be doing His work for Him!
I want every grieving parent who comes to this Circle to realize how very special they are here, and how prayer and love can help them immensely in their grieving. Yes, it is nice to know that we all still have those valley days, and we probably always will, but we get through them, and isn't it wonderful how other moms can understand and offer love, support and prayers! Thank you for your post Verna, you always eloquently put into words what most moms can relate to, and continued prayers and love to you on your own journey,
Luv Sandy


deborahpoo
6/26/2002 20:20

DEAR VERNA, YOU HAVE JUST SAID IT ALL TO SANDY IN YOUR POST. I THANK GOD EVERY DAY BECAUSE IF ISN'T FOR GOD SENDING ME THIS WAY TO FIND THIS CIRCLE I DON'T KNOW WHAT WOULD OF HAPPEN. I HAVE TALKED TO MY FAMILY MEMBERS WHO ARE HAVING A HARD TIME WITH THE LOSS OF MY SON TO COME TO THE CIRCLE. I DON'T KNOW IF THEY HAVE, BUT I HOPE AND PRAY THAT THEY HAVE EVEN IF THEY JUST READ THE POST WITH OUT POSTING ANYTHING. I KNOW IT'S SO COMFORTING WHEN I'M HAVING A VALLEY DAY. IT JUST LIFTS ME UP AND I'M REMINDED THAT I'M NOT A LONE. THANK YOU SO MUCH SHANER. LOVE AND PRAYERS TO YOU. LUV DEBBY


shaner
6/27/2002 08:10

Hi Debby, I read your post to Verna, and just wanted to say I'm HAPPY that you found this Circle too! I truly hope that your family and friends have read some of the posts here, it would help them understand more what you're experiencing. I'm so pleased that this Circle lifts you up on your own valley days, that's what this Circle is for, helping, loving, understanding and praying for each other as we try to cope with our loss of our beloved child.
May God bless you Debby, you're a special person to us all, as is everyone who posts here, I love you all and pray for you all,
Luv Sandy


dovesfromheaven
6/27/2002 08:10

Hello Everyone!
I just logged on to read and post a vey quick note not expecting to find a note from Sandy and Verna! Thank you both so much for the words of encouragement and your prayers for this wonderful wedding of our baby day after tomorrow! We are very happy for him and his new bride. I just wanted you to all know that I never stop thinking of any of you and what you are all going through. My prayers are with you.
It is a very busy time for us but everything is going very well. Thank you for praying for me and my family as we go through this wedding. Joe has been with me, I can feel it and I have seen my doves, sitting on the electric post just cooing like they do and also in the sky in the cloud formations! That is truly exciting when I see that! God is so good isn't He to love me so much like He does during these difficult times. I love Him more and more evreyday. I better go and get on with another busy day of preparations. God Bless you all and remember I'm thinking of all of you too! I love you.
Dear Father, I ask you to keep each and every Mom in Your loving arms and surround them with Your love and peace today. Dad's too! Bless them Lord as You have so graciously blessed me and my family through our darkest time. I love you Jesus. In Jesus Name Amen. God Bless everyone!
Love, Yvonne<><


shaner
6/27/2002 18:54

Hi Yvonne, well, you surprised me! I never expected to come here and see a loving post from you, being as busy as you are with Aaron's wedding in a couple of days, but I'm very happy that you did! It's nice to know that everything is going so well, and that you can feel Joe there with you, and the proof is there with your Doves! YES, God is so good to us all and loves us all very, very much! I just know that it will be a wonderful day on Saturday and our thoughts, love and prayers will help to carry you and your family on a wind of joy on Saturday.
May Our Heavenly Father bless this special day and give you wonderful weather,
Luv Sandy


shaner
6/29/2002 08:52

Hello wonderful Moms,
Summer is upon us, and it can bring up some very painful memories for us. Planning vacations without your beloved child, or remembering all the wonderful vacations that you did spend together as a family.
Perhaps there are other special days as well, graduations, birthdays, Anniversaries of our children's passing.
In my humble experience as a Bereaved mom, I find it's best to plan ahead for these events, and know what you will do that day, or days. If carefully planned, then it doesn't leave you 'floating' without a structure in place to support you.
Regardless of where you are on the Road, grief is ever present on our vacation, or summertime itself. I find reaching out to others is a way of healing and I know that many of you reach out yourselves!
You may find it helps to change the way you do things this summer. There may be family reunions also, each of your situation's is unique. Your feelings about attending these occasions, or vacations will be different, not only with the occasion, but with you, yourself, where you are in your grieving.
Just do what you think is best for YOU.
I wish all of you moms and dads a safe and peaceful summer,
Luv Sandy


LOVE2U
6/29/2002 10:47

Subj: DOVESFROMHEAVEN
Date: 6/29/102 9:33:26 AM EST
From: VCLAY100
To: VCLAY100

Good Morning (Dovesfromheaven)~ Yvonne,:) Gosh, I can feel the excitement in the air way down here in Louisiana! On Thursday, my baby daughter, Cheryl, found the video tape of her wedding and watched it for the first time since her big sister went home to be with the Lord. Oh, the wonderful memories! :) I just know that all will go well for you and family today, and your Joe will be right there with you and family and each of you will feel his presence! May our Lord and Savior send you a sign in the form of a dove today for this blessed event. :)
Love,
Verna


LOVE2U
6/29/2002 11:33

Hi Sandy, (Shaner)~ As you can see,above, I am learning to copy and paste. Since I never know when I will hear good bye, I forgot to read my post to Yvonne before I clicked on submit. Ha-ha! I just had to post to her today. :) I remember so well the excitement in the air on both of my daughter's wedding day. As a matter of fact, I cover some of it in my book, which Anthony says must be finished by the end of this year! :) Ha-ha! Let's hope so. :) He is helping me with editing, and likes what I've shared with him so far. He is also working on his first book. Both Cheryl and I agree,if his book is anything like his emails, it will make the best seller list. :)

He has also shared with me how to solve all my computer problems! Ha-ha! I'll share that with you in my next email. :)

I am supposed to get my computer back later today and get with another company. I'll let you know how all of this turns out. :)

This is not a copy and paste, so I will try to submit this now -- before I hear "good bye!"
Love,
Verna


LOVE2U
6/29/2002 14:31


Dear (Deborahpoo) ~ Debby,
First, I want to thank you for the post that you submitted at Diane's memorial site. It really meant a lot to me. Yes, sometimes, even after all this time, I still don't understand why my daughter, Diane, and Princess Diana were killed on the same date, one year apart. Diane's birthday is also in August, so I get a double dose of valley days every August, on the 16th and 31st. I thank God, that now I don't have to face that day feeling all alone! With all the prayers and compassion I've received here, I just know, it's going to be much easier this year and in the years ahead. :)

I think it's so thoughtful of you to invite your family members to visit our circle. I feel it would be a big help to each of them, as they learn how to deal with their own grief, and they will better understand how to relate to what you are feeling as time goes by. Once our loved ones and friends understand better what it's like for us on a daily basis, it helps strengthens us as we continue on our journey.

I also wanted to tell you how proud I am that you are doing so well in the classes you are taking. Working with special students is such a rewarding career. You give a lot of love to those special children and it comes back to you tenfold. :) So keep up the good work, Debby. I am so very proud of you. Thanks again for your kind post.
Love,
Verna


LOVE2U
6/29/2002 15:13

Dear Tammy, ~ Thank you for the posts that you submitted at Diane's memorial site, also. It had been a while since I had been there. I would have known what had happened to you a lot sooner had I read your post earlier, but I was busy trying to post to some of the other memorial sites, plus read and keep up with posting here, so I had gotten way behind. Hopefully, I can catch up when my computer problems are solved. :)

I am still praying for you daily, and I have faith that the healing that I and others pray for is taking place.

I know how hard it is on you not to be able to post as often as you would like, but please know that we feel the love and compassion that you have expressed so many, many times in the past to each of us; and we know that "ain't" gonna change! So, until you can post again, just continue to have your dear hubby deliver our post to you, and concentrate all your energy on healing! You know we love you very much, and we all wish you a speedy recovery!
Much Love,
Miss Verna :)


LOVE2U
6/29/2002 16:07

Dear (Eudora),Barb, ~ Not a day goes by that I don't think about you and hope that you are doing O.K. I can relate to what you are going through. When I lost my dear brother last July 1st, I had to have some down time, too. Just know that my heart goes out to you, and I continue to pray daily that God will help you through this valley period. Take all the time you need. We know you love us and continue to pray for us. We will keep you in our thoughts and prayers!
Love,
Verna

 
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