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Shane Whalen
This Prayer Circle is Dedicated to my son Shane Whalen Who Passed Away On March 15, 1999 at the Age of 24, & All Other Children

Start a prayer circle for bereaved parents who have lost a child.

There are many of us out there who have lost a child, and it is devastating. It changes the outlook on life, plunges you into a depression, and you think that the feelings and thoughts you have nobody else could possibly relate to. I think a prayer circle for bereaved parents would only benefit us and help us on our journey of grief. This Circle is one of Love, where a Grieving Parent can safely come to for Prayers, and to talk about their feelings.

Shaner -10/14/2000
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6/18/2002 08:31

Oh Debby, that's wonderful news! I'm SO happy that you and your brother talked about Michael, and your brother realized that you need to. Perhaps your brother was reluctant to talk about Michael before because he was afraid he was going to cause you pain by mentioning him, but now he knows that he can talk about him, so in a way, it's a relief for him also! That's really wonderful Deb, I'm so happy for you, your heart must have been so happy having that conversation with Donald. I'm also very happy that the books are helping you out, now you can recommend reading them to any moms you know who might benefit from them, for they surely do contain some very excellent advice for grieving parents.
I'm really thrilled for you Debby, and I'm so happy you had that talk with your brother. Love and prayers to you,
Luv Sandy

6/18/2002 09:38

Hello To Everyone!
How I've missed posting to each one of you. But please remember that I read every post everyday and pray for all of you. It is so wonderful to have a place like this to come to and express just how we feel and everyone completely understands. Thank you Sandy for that beautiful poem, it is exactly how we feel isn't it? Sometimes it's hard for us to put it into words for others who haven't been down this awful road of pain and grief of losing a precious son or daughter. But even if we did explain they still wouldn't know, they only would imagine and imagining isn't even close to what it really is for us parents.
I agree with all of you that Sandy is a Godsend to all of us and doing just what the Lord wanted her to do, even though it is with much pain and grief, but I believe that by reaching out to others in pain will we receive healing too. Thank you Sandy for being here for each of us Moms! You truly are a blessing! How are you feeling? I hope better.
I just wanted to let you know that my son Aaron made it home from California where he goes to school, (we live in Illinois), he drove 2000 miles staight through with another guy. I was so worried, you know? We hadn't seen him since Christmas. It was so good to get him home again if only for a short time before he gets married next week. He always did look the most like his brother Joe, but when I saw him I actually thought I was looking at Joe. And his mannerisms are very similar too. The wedding plans are coming together very well now. I'm a little stressed though! But I'll be ok. The kids will be lighting a memorial candle for Joe during the ceremony, so that will be special. We never want to forget our loved ones.
I see the pain in so many letters and my heart and prayers goes out to all of you. I love you all and so does our Heavenly Father.
Dear Lord, I ask You to send Your Comfort and Peace to each grieving Mom here and let them know the love You have for them. You know their pain and heartache of their loss, for You lost your Son too. Be with them now in their time of need at their level of grief that each one is on. Continue to show them the way that leads to You daily. For without You we'd be lost for sure. I love You Lord. In Jesus Name, Amen. God Bless Each And Everyone!
Love, Yvonne<><

6/18/2002 11:58

Hello Yvonne, gosh, it's so nice to hear from you again! I'm happy that you read the posts, it keeps you connected to us all and of course we know you're very busy right now. Yes, the poem was so true, isn't it, and yes, it's very hard for those who haven't gone down this road to really and truly understand how we feel and why we act the way we do, our grieving process. A lot of them try, though, God bless them, it's so nice to have some support. Thank you Yvonne for your kind words, but as I said, I have lots of Divine help when I come to this Circle! And you're right, helping other's does help you in your own grief.
Summer's here, Shane's favourite time of the year, so I'm a little down, he loved being outdoors and working outdoors so summer was him time for him.
Wow, Aaron and his friend driving all that way non-stop, yes, I can imagine how worried you must have been! But he arrived safely and now is getting ready to become a married man next week! There must be so much little things left to do and an excitement around your house right now! That's beautiful that they're honouring Joe with a remembrance candle, he's included in the Wedding in more ways than one, my sister did that for Shane when she got married a year ago, and the pictures are special to me, as your pictures will be so special to you - all of them!
Yes, :) you must be stressed, not much time left, but I know it's going to be a day to remember for all of your family, and you've put a lot of time and energy into it to make it a very special day for Aaron and your soon to be daughter-in-law! You'll have to tell us how it went, how beautiful the day was.
Yes, sadly, so many posts with pain in them, but with all of us coming together for each other, it can only help, that's what we're here for. We all love and pray for each other, and that brings us the strength we need, when we're having a rough time.
I love the prayer you posted, you always post such beautiful ones at the end of your posts, and I wish the same for you Yvonne, as I know the other wonderful moms do too. Nice to hear from you again, I know the wedding will be beautiful, and please let us know how it went. Love and prayers to you and the soon to be happy couple!
Luv Sandy

6/18/2002 12:06

Hello everyone, I have been catching up on everyone's post's and I just want to say I think the world of each one of you. Of what you all have been through, and how you have handled your grief. How you still reach out to others and try to help one another; it's truly inspirational! I feel so much gratitude to all of you in my journey of grief. I will be forever grateful to Sandy and each one of you. I will pray for your sons and daughters that you have lost as well as the children we still have with us here on earth! I also pray for the safe return of the Smart's daughter in Utah. I feel we can all relate to those parents. I pray that she is found alive and unharmed! I also would like to pray to God to send out some comfort and peace to each grieving parent here on this site or to anyone in the world who may have experienced a loss of a child due to illness, violence, suicide, accident,childbirth,miscarriage or any other means of loss(missing children or runaways). It has to be the worst experience we could possibly endure, as parents. Please keep our families safe from harm. Please give us strength to rebuild our lives, and guide us in helping others along the way that might need us! God Bless and take care,
Love, Barbara

6/18/2002 14:06

Hello Barbara, it's so nice to see you posting again too! We've all missed your wonderful posts and I'm happy that you're still here, catching up on all the posts, and there are a lot, aren't there? :) I hope you're doing alright lately, and I can just imagine what your garden must look like, as well as Yvonne's. I love being outdoors, nature seems to soothe my spirit. Barbara, we're all an inspiration to each other, all of us learn from another how to handle our feelings, our grief, or just to vent, all these moms on these pages, you included, are inspirational to me. There's comfort in our 'sisterhood'. Thank you for your prayers, Barbara, I appreciate it so much and I know the other moms will too - and you're always in mine, as are all the other moms.
We can all imagine how the Smart's must feel, not knowing if their daughter is alive or not, and everytime I hear of one of these cases, my heart breaks. That family is also very much in my own prayers. I agree with you in prayer that she be found safe and alive.
Your beautiful prayer for everyone, wherever they may be, grieving parents, children, is wonderful, may God hear our prayers and touch their hearts, wherever they may be.
May God bless you too Barbara, and you take care too, we all love and pray for you, and may we have Divine help in rebuilding our lives,
Luv Sandy

6/18/2002 16:46


6/19/2002 07:02

Hello Shaner and all the (mostly) ladies who have posted messages, i ahve just spend two hourse reading all your words, i have cried with you and laughed with you too! I was going to start a work related prayer circle but your experiences have made me reassess my priorities. I am sure that all your children are smiling on you right now as they will do forever. Much love and thank you for reminding me what life is all about,

6/19/2002 07:33

Hello Stellina! I'm so thrilled and honoured that you came to visit us and actually read all the posts! That in itself is amazing, there are so many of them, I'm sure it did take you 2 hrs.!
We thank you for your kind words, we always appreciate it so much when someone who hasn't lost a child visits this Circle and posts. I'm very touched that the posts made you cry and have some laughs at the same time. It's not all doom and gloom here, we sometimes have our lighter moments! I'm also very touched that the words in these posts have caused you to reassess your priorities, the most important things in life are family and friend, and the love that we have for each other. I think your idea for a work-related Circle would be a good one though, I'm sure it would fill a need out there. YES, our children are smiling on us, and we take great comfort from that. May God bless you in your future endeavours, and your life itself, love and prayers to you,
Luv Sandy

6/19/2002 13:57

Thank you oh so much for the kind words!! Its still so very hard to think about but I hope one day I can find peace. God is guiding me thru this and my angel Amber Elise is by his side watching over me!! Love and prayers to all!!

6/19/2002 19:34

Hello freespirit24, it's so nice to see you posting again, we love it when people post again! I'm so happy sweetie that any words brought you some comfort, that's what this Circle is for, encouragement, support, love, compassion and understanding. So if the words posted helped you, then we're very happy. Your loss is so recent, give yourself some time to grieve, and in time the pain won't be as bad. And yes, your sweet little Amber Elise (such a beautiful name!) is right beside you helping you and watching over you. God will never abandon you, you can rest in His loving arms, He knows the pain that you feel and wants to help you with it. And He will!
Thank you for your love and prayers, and they go right back to you,
Luv Sandy

6/20/2002 13:07

Hello everyone! I received an e-mail from Verna, (LOVE2U), she's experiencing computer problems, and may be able to post later, but if not, this is the reason why. She asked me if I would post this, we've been wondering where she is, and this is the problem, let's hope and pray that it gets resolved soon for her!
Luv Sandy

6/20/2002 16:11

My oldest girl was killed last year in august,she was 21 at the time. A man shot her and her friend.she left behind a little boy named Julian,he will be five in sept.Please pray for him,I am not over her death and I don't know if I will ever be,but I do believe she is with the Lord right now.
I know the Lord will allow things to happen for a reason and we won't always understand why,but only trust in the Lord and he will comfort us and lift the
pain,In Jesus Name.......

6/20/2002 20:40

Hello GEMforJesus, I'm so very sorry to read about your beloved daughter, losing her life so needlessly. You must still be in so much shock and disbelief over her passing, and a lot of pain. It's only been a little while, in grief terms, so don't be too hard on yourself, be gentle, you're grieving, and that takes a lot of energy out of you. I pray that you have good support around you, people you can talk to about your loss, and your beautiful daughter, and how much she means to you in your life. You have her precious son, Julian, your darling little grandson, to ease some of your grief, and a reason to be strong and continue on, Julian needs you and your family so much now. You can tell him how much his mom loves him and watches over him, just as she watches over you, your own Angel now in Heaven. The pain is awful, isn't it, but with God's help you will make it through, and we here at this Circle will send our love to you and our many prayers. Please post back whenver you want, we're always here for anybody who wants to post about their loss, their child, and how they're feeling. May God wrap His arms around you and Julian, and keep you in His great love for us all. God bless you, and you're in our prayers,
Luv Sandy

6/20/2002 22:38

Dear God in Heaven, ~ Thank you so much for allowing me to post this prayer for all bereaved moms who post here, and for other bereaved parents who are somewhere out there in this world. Lord, you know where each of us are in our grieving process. I ask that You lift each of us up, Lord, to the next level and the next level, until we can find those moments of peace for which we pray.

Then, Father, I ask that You please touch the heart of the one responsible for the abduction of the daughter of the Smarts. Lord, I, along with the other moms, pray that You will return her to her parents, safe and unharmed. Lord, I pray for all moms and dads all over the world who have lost a child; no matter how it happened. Please reveal to these parents, Lord, that their children are alive and well in heaven with You, Lord.

Father, You already know what it feels like to lose a child. It is for this reason that I never doubt that You will hear my prayer and the prayers of all bereaved parents. Thank You, Father, for giving us the strength and the desire to go on, in spite of the grief that we must learn to live with one day at a time. Keep each of us close to You, Father, giving us comfort and peace on each valley day. Help us to reach out to others on the days that we can, and to receive, graciously all the help that You send to us in our time of need.

Then, Lord, I thank You for the individual blessings You have bestoed on each and every mom who post here; according to their individual needs. Thank You, also Father, for guiding the newly bereaved, and also other bereaved parent who are farther along in their grieving process, and others who have not lost a child, but join us to offer prayer and compassion for those of us who have. Thank You Father, for all of these blessings and for letting each of us know that You are always on call, and that You are always, always just a prayer away! And, for this, we all thank You! In Jesus name, Amen

6/20/2002 22:49

Hi Sandy! ~ Thank you for letting everyone know about the computer problems. :) I am still on the old computer until I can do better. You would not believe how difficult it was to get to post here at the circle. On this computer, there was no place to sigh in; so I just kept clicking until I found out how to get the job done. :) Thanks again, and I hope to get back online on my newer computer with the big screen monitor ASAP!
Love & Prayers to All!

6/20/2002 23:09

Hello Yvonne, and thank you for the update and for that lovely, heartfelt prayer! I, too, am glad that your son has made it home, and that you are getting to spend some time with him before the big date! I just know it will be a wonderful wedding, and your Joe will be there with all of you in spirit! God bless you for all the work you have done; making all of those dresses! I know it was a work of love straight from your heart.:) God bless you, and your wonderful family, and I look forward to hearing about how everything turns out. I just know all will go well for your Aaron and his lovely bride, just as we have prayed! (I must submit this now before I hear, "Good bye!" :)
Much Love,

6/20/2002 23:44

Dear Bereaved Parents, ~ I am asking for prayer for the same parents I requested prayer for a few months ago. They just recently lost their other son. According to what I have read in the newspaper, this son was also shot. There was another man shot the same night, and it is believed that the shootings were related since the two victims knew each other. The other man that was shot is in crititical condition. It seems that parents are losing their children due to drugs or gangs on a daily basis. Let us include these parents and their children in our heartfelt prayers!
Love to all,

6/21/2002 08:51

Hello Verna, nice to see being able to post, the computer is working a wee bit for you anyway! That's terrible about the family losing another son, how heart breaking that is for them. Our prayers are definitely with them as they go through yet another loss of a child, may their faith sustain them and hold them up during this present trial, such a hard one. May God bless them as I know He will, and may they feel His comfort, through Our Lord.
Luv Sandy

6/21/2002 18:53

Dear Everyone:
I miss you all so much! Thank you for all of your prayers and e-mails. I am so blessed to have found this site and each and every one of you. My husband has retrieved e-mails for me and he did not understand the depth of my friendship with people here until he read them. Thank you for letting him "feel" what I feel each and every time I come to this site.
I am doing alright. I have a long way to go. I hate that I cannot get on my computer when I want to, but that has to be a secondary priority right now. I just wanted to let you all know how much you mean to me.
To all of the newly bereaved parents that have found this site: You are truly blessed! The wonderful people here are my Angels! They have all been here for me no matter what.....I just can't express in words what you all mean to me.
Thank you so much!
Love, Tammy

6/21/2002 18:57

Dear Beliefnet:
My wife has told me a lot about so many of you that I feel like I know you. She is a trooper and will make it through this.
We are so thankful for your prayers and e-mails. It always makes her happy when I tell her that someone has sent her an e-mail.
God bless you all,
John Cooper

6/21/2002 19:24

Dear GEMforJESUS, ~ I, too, am sorry to read of your loss. It will be six years (Aug, 31, 2002) since I lost the oldest of my two daughters in a tragic wreck caused by drunk driving. The bereaved moms who post here have all experienced the ultimate pain of losing a child. No matter how it happens, it is that moms worst nightmare. We also are at different stages in our grieving process; therefore, there will always be someone who can identify with the kind of pain you are experiencing at the stage where you are at this time. No one but God can know exactly how difficult this loss has to be for you; but because of the grief and pain we moms have, and are still learning to live with, we can relate the kind of grief and pain you are experiencing. We moms agree 100% that losing a child is a mother's worst nightmare. It has a pain all it's own! We also agree 100% that when we loose a child, part of us goes with that child, and life as we once knew it to be, will never be the same. Nevertheless, most moms who post here will tell you that the act of reaching out to show compassion to other moms who have lost a child is, in itself, one of the most effective ways we have found to help ease our own heartfelt grief. I cannot tell you why it works that way; I only know from experience, that it does. Right now, you are at a difficult stage. Like many other bereaved moms will tell you, you must give yourself time to grieve. There is no time table for this. No one can tell you how long you must grieve. So, take all the time you need to grieve your loss! I can tell you that losing a child is not something that you will ever get over; but having said that, I can tell you that with God's help, and the help He will send to you, through family, friends, and sometimes even strangers, you will learn to go on, although in a different way. :) Never doubt that God will send the help that you need. For now, just take it one minute, one hour, and eventually one day at a time. And, have faith that even after one of life's major storms, there will be brighter days ahead. Just as I do with all the other moms and their precious children, I will keep you and your precious daughter, and your precious grandson, Julian, in my thoughts; which places you in my heartfelt prayers!

6/21/2002 19:43

My Dear Precious Tammy! ~ How great it is to see your post, and your husband's post also. I just "lost" one of my long emails to you!!! I was trying to respond to the beautiful page that you sent to me, and this computer that I am using now just tells me. "Good bye" whenever it want to! :) Please know that we love you a whole bunch, and we want you to follow docter's orders and take all the time you need to heal! If you will promise to do that, I promise I will stop staying up all night! Ha-ha! Give the little ones a (((BIG HUG))) from me!
Much Love,
Miss Verna

6/21/2002 19:51

Dear Sandy,and Moms! :) ~ My husband and I are getting ready to attend family hour for our friend's son. Thanks to all of you for your prayers for this family! I hope to post later tonight.

6/21/2002 22:18

I survived Matthew's 25th birthday on June 8th. He has been gone now for 29 months. I was able to spend part of the day with a close friend of his, and her daughter, and we visited the cemetery together. I placed birthday balloons there, brought flowers, and new wind chimes. Afterwards, we went out to lunch and talked about all the wonderful times we had spent with Matthew, and also about how much we still missed him (and alwasys would!) Sometimes it seems like only days since he's been gone, and on other days it feels like he has been gone forever. Sometimes I look at the picture next to my bed, and just break down in tears knowing that I will never hold him in my arms again while I'm here on earth. But I hold steadfast to God's promise that we will be together again with Him in Heaven, and that helps me go on. Matthew's daughter is 22 months old now, and though I don't see her every week, just knowing a part of him lives on through her is such a blessing. To the Smart Family, I pray for Elizabeth's safe return. I can only imagine the stress and pain of not knowing where your child is and what they might be going through. For all the other families who post here, I pray that God will help ease your pain, that He will bless your lives with happy memories, and your loved one will continue to live through you. I know that not a day goes by, not an hour, that I don't think of my son, and miss him. I feel confident that he made a difference in not only my life, but in many of those around him, and that is wonderful to know. Sorry about not posting sooner, but I've been out of town. Thanks to those who prayed for me, and who, by doing so, made his birthday just a little easier to get through. As always, pray for me, as I will continue to pray for you. I believe that through God's help, we will all be able to strengthen each other. Love to you all, Debbra

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