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Shane Whalen
This Prayer Circle is Dedicated to my son Shane Whalen Who Passed Away On March 15, 1999 at the Age of 24, & All Other Children


Start a prayer circle for bereaved parents who have lost a child.


There are many of us out there who have lost a child, and it is devastating. It changes the outlook on life, plunges you into a depression, and you think that the feelings and thoughts you have nobody else could possibly relate to. I think a prayer circle for bereaved parents would only benefit us and help us on our journey of grief. This Circle is one of Love, where a Grieving Parent can safely come to for Prayers, and to talk about their feelings.

 
Shaner -10/14/2000
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shaner
6/13/2002 07:51

Hi Debby, I'm happy to hear that you're doing OK, perhaps being so busy is helping you with your grief. Yes, after I finally found eudora's brother's site, :), it is very nice, and I posted a little something there too, God bless them all. So you're hitting the books, and getting ready for your exams, that's wonderful. It's also very touching that reading all the posts helps you in your own grief, and that you like to keep up with them all.
I'm very happy also that they help you with your own 'valley days', uplifting you when you're feeling down. We all have those days, and I always seem to find something that will take me out of them too. I'll pray for a good outcom for your exams, and for you too, Debby, we all love you and send out prayers your way,
Luv Sandy


pun82224
6/14/2002 09:49

Sandy,


pun82224
6/14/2002 09:53

Sandy,
Your a wonder to this site. Your always on checking out and giving great advice to all of us. For all your kind words I for one thanks you. I know you and your words touch me each time I am at this site. We all have feelings which are very hard to express but you being you know just what to say as you are suffering just like the rest of us. All I have to say is THANKS FOR BEING YOU!


shaner
6/14/2002 12:14

Hi pun, gosh, I don't know what to say to you, except thank you for your very kind words to me! I have lots of help though, I ask the Holy Spirit for guidance before I come here, and also my Shane, to say a prayer for me. So I surely can't take all the credit!
Pun, you're an inspiration yourself, losing two of your boys, I don't know how you manage, except through your strong faith, and love. I reply to everybody because I'm honoured to do so, everybody deserves to be acknowledged and loves and prayed for here! I hope you're doing OK,
Luv Sandy


deborahpoo
6/15/2002 04:15

Dear pun82224,
It's true about shaner. Her kind words have helped me and I know they have helped other moms too. Alot of times I keep coming back to this circle just to hear read her beautiful words and advise that she gives to so many moms and I know they left me up.She is a special person and I Thank her so many times when I'm reading the post. It takes a Special person to be grieving herself and is able to help others.
I'm sorry that you lost your boys. I know the pain of losing one child I can't imagine two. I'm so thankful I still have my younger child, which he looks just like his older brother. Please know your in my thoughts and prayers.

Debby


shaner
6/15/2002 12:12

Hi Debby, thank you for your kind words also, I'm so happy that I'm able to help other moms out, but you all help me with your love, prayers and support too, so I am truly blessed. Here is another piece I ran across and it touched me, I hope it does the same for all of you!
My After Loss Credo

I need to talk about my loss,
I may often feel the need to tell
you what happened - or ask
"Why" it happened.
I may often need for you to
listen while I explain what
This loss means to me. Every
Time I discuss my loss, I am
Helping myself to face the
reality of the death of
my child.
I need to know that you care
for me, I need for you to
believe in me and in my
Ability to get through this
Awful grief in my own way, and
in my own time.
Please don't judge me now, or
think that I'm behaving
strangely, Remember, I'm
Grieving, I may be in shock,
I may feel afraid, I may be
angry, I may even feel guilty.
But above all, I hurt. I am
Experiencing a pain unlike any
I've ever felt before.
Don't be concerned if you think
I'm getting better and then
Suddenly seem to slip backwards,
Grief makes me behave this way
sometimes.
Please don't tell me it's time
to get on with my life, I'm
Probably saying this to myself
already.
I just need you to be patient
with me right now, and try
to understand.
Finally, allow me the time I
Need to grieve and recover. I
Must walk through the dark
shadows of my grief. And,
Although it is almost impossible
For me to believe this right now,
I know that one day I will learn
how to live with my loss.
Most of all, thank you for being
my friend, thank you for
Caring, believing, understanding.
Thank you for your wonderful
prayers, I need them so,
And remember, in the days or
years ahead, when you need
Me as I've needed you, I will
understand and then I'll
Come and be with you.

by Beverly LeStang

Luv Sandy


deborahpoo
6/15/2002 13:21

Dear Shaner,
I'm all choked up from it. You just put chills through my whole body. Every word in that poem is so true for any one who has lost a love one. How the words have such meaning and truth to them.
People some times think we are over it, but you and everyone who has a lost a love one know we never get over it. The pain will be with us until we are all together again above the clouds with our love ones. May God always shine on you for you are such a caring person and have meaningful words for all of us. I Love you and I will keep sending prayers your way. Luv Debby


pun82224
6/15/2002 15:35

Sandy,
As deb pointed out every word in that poem is just how we all feel or have felted at one time or another. Word are strongs! It came right from the heart. I for one Thank -you ever so much for sharing that and all that you have and all that your worth with us!God Bless you and Yours!


pun82224
6/15/2002 15:45

Deb,
Your so right about Sandy she just keeps on giving! Thanks so much for your kind words ! I feel we all have gone thru what each of us are feeling rather its one child or two its all the same. Each of us gives what we can. I'm really no diffrent then the rest except one more son. Your very special person Deb,thanks so much for giving a part of yourself.


shaner
6/15/2002 16:40

Hello Deb and Pun, I'm so happy that you loved that poem as much as I do, it really does speak to how we feel, and says what sometimes we ourselves can't say to others. If only everybody understood! Thank you so much once again for your very kind words, and I in turn thank Our Heavenly Father for helping me with this Circle. I pray for all of you, all the time, and I'm very grateful that you all pray for me too. I love all the moms who post here, I don't think you'd find another group that is so loving and caring for each other! Pun, you say losing two children is no different from losing one, but I still don't know how you've done it, God bless you, you're one very strong lady. And Deb, I admire you so much for going back to school, helping other children, I think that's wonderful of you. All the moms at this Circle are very special to me, and I love and pray for us all,
Luv Sandy


shaner
6/15/2002 17:46

Hello Everyone,
Tomorrow is Father's Day as we know, and I want to acknowledge our husbands, our fathers, who also are in pain over missing their child; there'll be no card from them, no gift, and it drives home for them their loss of their child too. Men may have trouble expressing how they really feel inside, but we know that they miss their son/daughter just as much as we do. So to all fathers tomorrow, I hope you remember all the Fathers Day's that you spent with your child, the good memories, and that you have a sense of peace tomorrow.
Our thoughts, love and prayers are with you on your special day.
Luv Sandy


eudora
6/15/2002 18:16

Dear Sandy,thanks so much for your kind words.Sandy,that poem touched my heart so much.It is so true and heartfelt.You are an inspiration to everyone here.I know i haven't been able to post for awhile but i still read everyday.What would we do without you.You have such a kind heart and enough love to go around for all of us.Also thanks for posting at my Bubba's site.His name is Sam but he will always be my little Bubba.I miss Carol as much as ever,its just now i think of both of them and it hurts so much.But i am trying and with Gods help and everyone here i will make it.God bless you.Love,Barb


eudora
6/15/2002 18:26

Hi Debby,thanks to you also for visiting my brothers site and thanks for caring so much and for all your prayers.It sounds like you are a pretty busy lady.I hope you do good on your exams.I am sure you will.And i am so glad your dog is doing good.I really thought about her because our animals are such a part of our family and we want to keep them near.I love my little doggies.One is laying here beside me and every once in awhile he will open one eye to make sure i am here.Take care,Debby,i love you and you and your family are in my prayers.Love,Barb


deborahpoo
6/15/2002 18:40

Dear Shaner,
Some times it's so hard to read the posts you have for everyone through the tears today. I guess I'm in a valley day. The sun hasn't been out almost all week. That doesn't help matters either. This morning I brought Dascerie to the vet for one of the staples was hanging. The Doctor said she is doing great from the day of the surgery. They took all her staples out and she is good for another 2-3 years. The only thing is now she will only eat soft food or hot dogs. I can handle that.
When Michael passed away I didn't think I was going to be able to work with the children again, but I know how Michael loved it when I would watch all the kids around here and I really enjoy it. At first it was real hard but I loved going to work and making the children happy and I know that's what Michael would want and that is why I'm still doing it today. I enjoy working with special needs at the school. I will have my certificate in spring 2003 for Special Ed. and my Associate in Science 2004. I love seeing the smiles on the children every day and how happy they are when they see me come in. Your in my thoughts and prayers daily.

luv Debby


shaner
6/16/2002 08:24

Hello Barb, (eudora), it was my honour to post a little something at your dear brother's Memorial Site. It's so nice to see you posting, I know that your brother's passing has been very hard on you, and has plunged you back into deep grieving over your precious Carol. But that's OK, it will eventually in it's own time work itself out for you, take it one day at a time. Thank you Barb for you kind words too, but all of you are inspirations to me, all of you lift me up daily with your own loving posts, and prayers, love, so I'm a very blessed woman! I'm happy that the poem touched you too Barb, it really spoke to me the first time I heard it too. It says what we ourselves would like to say to others, doesn't it! May God bless you Barb, and our love and prayers are with you,
Luv Sandy


shaner
6/16/2002 08:33

Hi Debby, yes, some days are very hard, even still for me, and I also have my valley days, as all of us have, I surely didn't mean to make everyone sad by posting that poem, but it really says how we feel, doesn't it. I know what you mean, Debby, it's rained here all week, and is raining as I type this, so I think the weather some of us are experiencing isn't helping our moods out very much. It would be so nice to see the sunshine again!
I'm so happy that Dascerie is doing so well, it must be such a load off your mind, and I bet it does you wonders to see her happy and back to being her old self!
I know that your Michael is very proud of you doing what you're doing, working and going for your degree, you're helping special children, and I know that God is very happy with his Debby!
Those children help to lift your spirits everytime you see the smiles on their faces, so happy to see you. And Michael is right beside you, saying, "yes, that's my mom", she's a special lady, and I'm very proud of her!
May God bless you Debby, and you're an inpsiration to us all too, love and prayers to you,
Luv Sandy


LOVE2U
6/16/2002 10:16

Good Morning All You Wonderful Moms! ~ It feels so good to be back posting again! I am feeling so much better this morning! That's because I have been up editing emails that I started writing to a couple of our Moms (last week) and saved, before my computer started freezing up, and telling me Good Bye and stuff! Ha-ha! After I finished editing, I deleted 500 plus unwanted emails, clicked on a site that had the most beautiful illustration of the poem Lent for vv While. :) Moms, you have got to go there and see this lovely page! :) I have already sent it to the Moms I have email addresses for. The format is such that it cannot be copied and shared; but I plan to revisit the site and copy it somehow even if it takes replaying it over and over. The illustrations will simply melt your heart! So do visit the site when you have time. :) You will find it at: updates@cutestu.com
Next, I signed on and began reading back post. :) It felt so good to find all of you hanging in there, supporting each other; encouraging and praying for all! Just like the other wonderful Moms, even when I can't post, my prayers and thoughts are always for and with each and every one of you, as I know yours are for and with me. And, for that, I am so grateful! May our Lord and Savior continue to lift your spirits high on the valley days, and give each of you the moments of peace for which we pray, in Jesus' name, Amen!
Love,
Verna

Dear Sandy, (shaner) ~ I just finished reading the poem that you shared with all the Moms here at our prayer circle. :) I want you to know that I join the other Moms when I say THANKS for sharing this wonderful poem! It goes right to the heart; expressing what so many bereaved Moms feel, or have felt at some point in time. So, again, thanks so much for sharing it with us. :)

I also join you and the other Moms in remembering all our bereaved Fathers on this, their day. :) It's like you have said so many times; Father's grieve differently, in their own way. In time, we learn to except, and respect their right to do so. They are grieving, too! Most fathers choose not to express their feelings of grief as openly as we Moms do. :) So, we honor their right to grieve in their own way; especially today! May our Lord and Savior give all bereaved Dads those moments of peace for which we pray! In Jesus' name, Amen!


LOVE2U
6/16/2002 11:51

Hello Pun82224 ~ Gosh, I was so happy to see you post again! I was telling one of the Moms in an email last night how worried I had been about you until you began posting again. Thank you so very much, for letting us know that the many prayers we Moms have continued to pray for you have brought you back to us. :) It goes to prove that praying really helps! Since your grief and loss seems uniquely different; having lost two children, most Moms find it hard to imagine the depth of your grief and pain. While it is very difficult to relate to the grief and pain of losing two precious children, we know that God knows exactly how heavy your cross is! He is the only one who has the strength and the power to give you those moments of peace for which we all pray! Just keep trusting in Him, Pun, and He will always be your spear of strength! God bless you, Pun, in Jesus' name I pray, Amen!


shaner
6/16/2002 13:33

Hello Verna, nice to see you posting again, and yes, I know you've been up all night, :)! But as long as you're getting your rest during the day, then I guess it's your pattern now. Yes, even when you or other moms aren't posting, everyone is still in our prayers and love, nobody is ever forgotten! Isn't that poem touching? The woman who wrote it, Beverly, surely has a talent for putting everyone's feelings into words!
Yes, Pun is a very strong woman, to have the trials of losing her two sons, God surely blessed her to help cope with her unique loss, as you say.
And a very blessed Father's Day also to the Dads in our lives, first our dear husbands, who mark the day without their beloved child with them; and to our own Dads, whether they're still with us or have passed away.
May God bless you Verna, and all our special moms here, everyone of you is very special to me,
Luv Sandy


freespirit24
6/16/2002 17:36

I think this is wonderful all the prayers for the parents that have lost children...My daughter was stillborn at 39 weeks June 1, 2002!! I miss her so deeply and I never got to know her...I pray for all those that have been in my shoes...I just want the pain to go away.


shaner
6/16/2002 18:26

Hello freespirit24, welcome to this Circle. I'm so very sorry to read about losing your precious daughter. All the hopes and dreams you had for this child must be so hard to face now.
You're loss is very recent, so you're in a state of shock and disbelief, and a lot of pain. We all wish we could make the pain go away, but unfortunately it's there, when you love someone as much as you love your child, it has a pain all of it's own. You just have to let the pain be right now, I hope you have good support around you, people to talk to about your loss and about the hopes and dreams you had for her, and the love you feel for her still. God called her back home, but now you have your very own Angel in Heaven for you, she watches over you everyday. I know it's very tough in the beginning, so be very gentle with yourself right now, you've very vulnerable. Please post here anytime you want to, you'll only find love, compassion and understanding on these pages. And of course our prayers for you. May God hold you in His arms, comfort you, let you feel His love for you, and bless you as you come to terms with your loss,
Luv Sandy


deborahpoo
6/17/2002 15:58

DEAR SHANER,
IT JUST MADE ME THINK OF ALL THE WONDERFUL DAYS I HAD WITH MY SON AND HOW THANKFULL I AM OF THEM. I PUT IT ON A FLOPPY TO HAVE FOR MYSELF.BECAUSE EVERYTHING WE FEEL IS IN THAT SPECIAL POEM. THANK YOU FOR SHARING IT WITH US.
ON SUNDAY I WAS SUPOSE TO GO TO MY PARENTS FOR MY DAD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AS WELL AS FATHERS DAY BUT I COULDN'T. FATHERS DAY BEFORE MICHAEL PASSED WE ALL WHERE THERE FOR MY DAD AND IT JUST BRINGS BACK THAT MEMORIE OF THE FUN WE HAD THAT DAY. IT ALSO HURTS KNOWING THAT HE HAS A DAUGHTER WHO I STILL DON'T KNOW AND NEVER MET I WISH I COULD, SHE HAS A WHOLE OTHER FAMILY THAT WANTS TO BE PART OF HER LIFE AND WE ARE NOT. I JUST PRAY EVERY DAY FOR THE DAY WE WILL BE ABLE TO MET.
GOD BLESS YOU SANDY. YOUR IN MY THOUGHTS AND PRAYER.
LUV DEBBY


shaner
6/17/2002 19:13

Hi Debby, that's terrific that you saved it all on a floppy, now you'll have it forever, and when you're feeling really bad, you can put the floppy in and hopefully it'll cheer you up a bit. Yes, I'm grateful also for the 24 years I had with my Shane, and I know that the other moms are grateful for the time they had with their child, however long or short it was. They came into our lives for a very special reason, so we're very fortunate, and then God called them back home, but one day we will see them again!
Oh, I'm so sorry that your Fathers Day was so tough on you, these 'special' days will do that to us, don't worry about it, if you couldn't do it, then you just couldn't do it. Maybe next year things will be very different for you. It's really too bad that you can't see your grandaughter, I hope that her mother changes her mind and tha the Spirit touches her heart, you have every right to see your grandchild by your son. Don't give up praying for it to happen, hang in there, and we'll surely pray for it to happen also for you and your family. It really is a shame. But with all our prayers, God can work in your life and her's, and she'll come around to letting you have access to your grandaughter. So don't give up Deb, we're right there with you praying! Love and prayers to you too, Debby,
Luv Sandy


deborahpoo
6/17/2002 19:54

HI SHANER,
I JUST GOT OFF THE PHONE WITH MY BROTHER, WE TALKED FOR 45MIN. ALL ABOUT MICHAEL. HE WASN'T GOING TO TALK ABOUT HIM BUT I TOLD HIM THAT I LOVE TALKING ABOUT HIM SO HE SAID OK AND WE DID. IT FELT SO GOOD TO HEAR HIM TELL ME ABOUT ALL THE THINGS THEY DID WITH MY BOYS WHEN THEY WHERE YOUNGER. DONALD(BROTHER) IS A TWIN AND THEY STAYED AT MY HOUSE WHEN THEY WHERE YOUNGER AND MY PARENTS LIVED ON A BOOT BUT THEY COULDN'T BECAUSE OF SCHOOL SO TIM(HUSBAND)LET THEM STAY WITH US. I ALWAYS HAD KIDS AT MY HOUSE. I TOLD DONALD THAT IT'S OK TO TALK ABOUT MICHAEL AND THAT IT'S PART OF THE HEALING PROCESS AND IT'S OK TO TALK TO ME. HE SAID HE FELT SO MUCH BETTER NOW THAT HE KNOWS HE CAN TALK TO ME AND NOT WORRY ANY MORE. IF I HADN'T READ SOME OF THESE BOOKS I BOUGHT I WOULD NEVER BE ABLE TO TELL HIM THAT OR HOW I FEEL ABOUT TALKING. I WANT TO THANK YOU AND THE OTHER MOMS FOR HELPING ME AND GIVING ME THE INFORMATION SO. PRAYERS TO YOU.

LUV DEBBY

 
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