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Shane Whalen
This Prayer Circle is Dedicated to my son Shane Whalen Who Passed Away On March 15, 1999 at the Age of 24, & All Other Children


Start a prayer circle for bereaved parents who have lost a child.


There are many of us out there who have lost a child, and it is devastating. It changes the outlook on life, plunges you into a depression, and you think that the feelings and thoughts you have nobody else could possibly relate to. I think a prayer circle for bereaved parents would only benefit us and help us on our journey of grief. This Circle is one of Love, where a Grieving Parent can safely come to for Prayers, and to talk about their feelings.

 
Shaner -10/14/2000
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shaner
5/21/2002 19:17

Hi Debby, we'll all certainly keep your co-worker and her family in our prayers, may God in His goodness be by their side and give them the physical and spiritual strength to get through this terrible time, as we here know so well,
Luv Sandy


Babbs
5/21/2002 20:33

Sandy, once again, I thank you for all your support. It really helps me through all the rough spots. I'll be happy to help you whenever I can. Just know that I'm here as a friend for you too. In this circle, we all share a very special kinship. We certainly can all relate. My heart aches so much for all of our pain. I suppose it always will. May God be with us to comfort us all, and bring to us a special kind of peace. I pray that he will help us pick up the pieces that have been shattered in our lives and help us to be whole again. Love to you all, Barbara


shaner
5/22/2002 09:14

Barbara, it's my honour and privilege to be a help to you or anyone else. Because there's so little support offered long term for mothers who've lost a child, I'm so happy that this Circle is still up and running! I'm very happy and humbled that I've been able to help you and others out, I think we'll always have 'rough spots', and it's nice to know that there is someone or somewhere to turn when we experience them. Thank you Barbara, for being a friend, and being part of this Circle, you're a wonderful gem, in your own pain, posting here, I know it's still early in your own grief, so God bless you for reaching out to me and others. I also pray that God will help us to carry on with our lives, as different as they will now be, and I also thank Him for all the wonderful people I've encountered through this Circle! God bless you Barb, you're truly a treasure here also, and a friend as well, and I may just take up your offer, sometimes I need someone to talk to also. I consider you and the other moms friends too, and I love all of you, you give me support also, just by posting here and being able to share part of your heart's with me. I pray that you feel Jason's love for you stronly today, and that you will one day pick up those shattered pieces and once again enjoy life, albeit in a different way. My continued prayers and love for you, if you ever feel like writing me, my e-mail is sewhalen@yahoo.com, and that goes for all moms, God bless you all,
Luv Sandy


shaner
5/23/2002 11:35

Hello Yvonne, I hope you got through the past weekend, marking Joe's 2 and a half year mark, these times are always so hard on us, every 15th of the month, I mark off another month since I've seen my Shane, (he died on the 15th), so I know how we hold onto these things, they're important to us. I know you're very busy with the upcoming wedding, so I hope that it helps to take your mind off of the sad times, and helps you to remember the good ones.
I hope your garden is now complete, and you're now enjoying the fruits of your hard labour. It must be a very beautiful one, dedicated to Joe and Our Lord. I pray also that your doves are still around you, bringing you some much deserved happiness and peace. Love and prayers to you,
Luv Sandy


kimhelms
5/23/2002 22:57

Dear Lord - Please comfort these aching hearts with Your mercy and love.
Let them know that their children are with You and they are loved every minute.
Amen


shaner
5/24/2002 09:22

Hello kimhelms, thank you so much for your sweet prayer to Our Lord for us all, we truly appreciate it, and it always warms our hearts when someone who hasn't lost a child posts a prayer here for us all. Our love and prayers are with you, in whatever way God knows you need them,
Luv Sandy


shaner
5/24/2002 19:06

Hello wonderful moms, I came across this today, and it struck a chord with me, perhaps it will with you too;

The Mention of My Child's Name

"The Mention of My Child's Name
May Bring Tears to My Eyes,
But it Never Fails to Bring
Music to My Ears.
If You Are My Friend, Let Me
Hear the Beautiful Music
Of Their Name,
It Soothes a Broken Heart,
And Sings a Song to My Soul

Luv Sandy


DEBORAHPOO
5/25/2002 07:16

HI SHANER,
WHEN I HEAR MY SON'S NAME, BECAUSE IT'S SO POPULAR IT ALWAYS BRINGS ME TO HIM. I START TO THINK OF ALL THE BEAUTIFUL TIMES WE SHARED AND HOW I MISS HIM SO.

THURSDAY I FOUND OUT THAT THE GIRL WHO WAS DRIVING WENT TO COURT AND THEY CHARGED HER WITH VERHICKULAR MANSLAUTER. I WAS UPSET BECAUSE I WASN'T NOTIFIED THAT SHE WAS GOING SO I CALLED MY LAWYER AND HE WASN'T TOLD EITHER. I KNOW THEY OFFERED HER SOMETHING AND SHE DIDN'T EXCEPT SO THEY WILL BE GOING TO COURT AGAIN AND THIS TIME I WILL BE NOTIFIED FROM NOW ON.... IT WILL BE TWO YEARS AUG. 14TH AND THIS IS HOW LONG IT HAS TAKEN. I GET SO UPSET WHEN OTHERS HAVE DONE THIS. ONES THAT I READ IN THE PAPERS ABOUT AND ARE FINISHED IN A YEAR.

IT HAS BEEN A DIFFICULT WEEK FOR ME AND I KNOW I DIDN'T DO WELL ON MY FINAL. I FOND OUT THE SAME NIGHT I WAS TAKEN IT. PLEASE PRAY FOR ME. FOR I NEED SOME DURING THIS DIFFICULT WEEK.

LUV DEBBY


shaner
5/25/2002 08:10

Hi Debby, I'm so sorry that you're having such a trying week, of course extra prayers will be said for you to help you with your trials. The wheels of Justice do drive slowly sometimes, it's a shame that you nor your lawyer weren't notified, but now you will for the next scheduled court date. I can well imagine with hearing this news, it threw your concentration out, but hopefully you still did do well on your exam. We're all rooting for you, Debby, that you'll do well and get your Certificate. Yes, your son had the sort of name that one hears quite often, so you're fortunate, you do hear the 'music to your ears and soul', and I pray that all of us here do hear the same thing! Lots of love to you Deb, and our prayers are always with you,
Luv Sandy


abdo
5/25/2002 20:43

The death of that beloved youth and his separation from you have caused the utmost sorrow and grief; for he winged his flight in the flower of his age and the bloom of his youth to the heavenly nest. But he hath been freed from this sorrow-stricken shelter and hath turned his face toward the everlasting nest of the Kingdom, and, being delivered from a dark and narrow world, hath hastened to the sanctified realm of light; therein lieth the consolation of our hearts. The inscrutable divine wisdom underlieth such heart-rending occurances. It is as if a kind gardener transferreth a fresh and tender shrub from a confined place to a wide open area. This transfer is not the cause of the withering, the lessening or the destruction of that shrub; nay, on the contrary, it maketh it to grow and thrive, acquire freshness and delicacy, become green and bear fruit. This hidden secret is well known to the gardener, but those souls who are unaware of this bounty suppose that the gardener, in his anger and wrath, hath uprooted the shrub. Yet to those who are aware, this concealed fact is manifest, and this predestined decree is considered a bounty. Do not feel grieved or disconsolate, therefore, at the ascension of that bird of faithfulness; nay, under all circumstances pray for that youth, supplicating for him forgiveness amd the elevation of his station.


kitagirll1
5/26/2002 01:50

please pray for my daughter tracy who lost her son. (my grandson) two weeks befor she was to deliver him. dont know why or what happened. a lot questions not answered.pray for my daughter to have strength to carry on and to take care of her other son nick please pray for healing ,strength to move on.


LOVE2U
5/26/2002 07:57

Dear Abdo, ~Thank you for sharing this compassionate message with us moms. For, it is as the Holy Spirit has led the writer of this compassionate message to say. Though we moms cannot help the indescribable grief that we feel in garden of our hearts as we make a conscious effort to go on in spite of the heartfelt grief that we feel on a daily basis, we are forever grateful to our Lord and Savior for reassuring us ... in so many, many compassionate ways ... and on a continuous basis ... that, all of us moms will see our children again someday.:) Because He is the Master Gardener, ... we too, will be up rooted from this earthly garden, and transplanted into His Heavenly Garden, ... by His divine Hands... to be with our beloved children forever and ever...someday!
Love,
Verna


shaner
5/26/2002 08:54

Hello abdo, thank you for your beautiful post of that spiritual text, it was so comforting reading it! I love the analogy of the story, and yes, our 'shrubs' are now in fertile soil, enjoying their Heavenly reward. It was very thougtful of you to post here for us all, and I thank you dearly for your kindess and compassion. I loved your message, and took much comfort from it, so once again, thank you for posting it here. May God in His goodness bless you and your's in whatever way He knows that you need, and our love and prayers go out to you,
Luv Sandy


shaner
5/26/2002 09:00

Hello kitagirll1, and welcome to this Circle. I'm so sorry that you even have to post here, but I'm glad that you did, in your loss of your precious grandchild, and your dear daughter's loss. She and her husband must be devastated, to carry the baby that long, only to lose him. She's no doubt in a lot of shock and pain, but thankfully she has a loving mother like you to turn to for love and support. And if she ever feels up to posting here herself, we'll welcome her also with loving arms. Our love, support, and prayers go out to Tracy, her husband, and you, at this time, for there is no pain in the world like there is when you lose a child. May God bless you all, and may He give some peace and comfort to all, our love and prayers go out to you all,
Luv Sandy


LOVE2U
5/26/2002 11:37

Dear Kitagirll1, ~ Thank you for making this prayer request for your daughter, Tracy. I am sorry to read of the loss of her precious son, (your precious grandson). I, too, have lost a child; my 36 year old daughter, Diane. Though her death was tragic and without warning, and the pain of losing her is still with me today, and always will be, I cannot imagine how painful this has been for your daughter, Tracy. However, I can relate to how painful it is to lose a precious grandchild before having the chance to know and hold him/her in your arms. My daughter, Cheryl, lost twins before they were delivered. Therefore, I can relate to you worrying about the affect this loss has on your daughter, Tracy. Please know that I will pray as you have requested in your post. I can assure you that our Lord and Savior does answer all prayer requests for healing the shattered hearts of bereaved moms. The healing is slow and painful, and it takes a lot of time. The pain of losing a child is always with us; but God is merciful to all bereaved moms. This is know beyond a shadow of a doubt. To say that I haven't always felt this way it an understatement. That's why I can say with confidence that your prayer request for your daughter, Tracy, and the many prayers that are being prayed for her here will be answered. As grief counselors, and some moms who have lost their children will tell you; sometimes the indescribable grief, the anger, all the unanswered questions, the unfairness of it all, are a challenging part of the healing process. When we speak of the phrase, "In time," I believe these are the kind of things we are referring to. These are the kind of heartfelt challenges that our Lord and Savior helps us to deal with on an ongoing basis. And, in my opinion, He will continue to do so until we gain the strength we need to continue moving on in spite of our heartfelt grief. It is He, who then gives us the wisdom and the burning desire to pray for, and tell others of His undying love and divine power to heal. The best advice I can give to you at this time is: Even after all you and your precious daughter, Tracy, has been through, keep your faith in God. Keep praying. He will do the rest! Again, my heart goes out to you and your daughter and family. God bless you for standing by your daughter, even as you are grieving. Both of you need to take all the time you need as you begin your grief journey together. You are not alone, and you will be prayed for here.
Love,
Verna


LOVE2U
5/26/2002 12:21

Hi Sandy, and Hello All Moms and friends who post here. It's been quite a while since I've posted. It's frustrating when we have to deal with those computer problems. :) This is especially true for those of us who know little about solving those technical problems. As most of the moms here know, I don't know da-da about computers. :) But, fortunately, my daughter and son-in-law do what they can, when they can to help out. They have helped me out again, and hopefully, I can begin catching up on posting prayers and prayer requests. Health wise, I am trying to follow doctor's orders and take better care of myself. :) I hope all of you were able to feel those moments of peace for which we all pray; especially during special days and any holiday. May you feel the warmth of God's love as we continue on our journey together.
Much love to all, and as always, thank you all for your continued prayers. :)
Verna


LOVE2U
5/26/2002 13:25

P.S. ~ I just celebrated my 61st birthday (yesterday) and it was a blast! :) Both friends and family went out of their way to make it so special. :) Still, throughout the celebration; the beautiful and touching cards and birthday wishes, and picture taking,... all the hugs and reliving fond memories,... my mind kept flashing back to the wonderful moms who post here at this circle.:) And each time it happened, I said a special prayer that God would let each of you know that no matter what's going on, our prayer circle and the moms who post here are in my thoughts and prayers.

Dear God, ~ Thank you for family and friends who help provide moments of peace and a bit of joy in our lives as we continue on our journey. Thank You, Father, for giving us Your Son; all our sins and grief to bear. Thank You for giving us the strength to endure, and to help others to endure, until we see our children again someday. In Your Son Jesus' name I pray, Amen!


Babbs
5/26/2002 14:39

Dear Lord, my heart is so full of pain sometimes, I wonder how I will get through. I miss my son so much and I feel so lonely most of the time. I feel like people avoid me because of what has happened. I know they feel bad for me, but I don't want their pity. I don't want people to think of me as someone who lost her son in a tragic way. I don't want to be shut out because I'm a painful reminder. It's hard enough to lose a child, but to lose your life as you know it is also very hard. I pray this will get better. It really hurts! Please God, give us all strength to carry on and live our lives as best we can. We all need your help with this.


shaner
5/26/2002 15:37

Oh Barbara, how I wish I could just let you cry on my shoulder right now, and hug you gently. Your post is filled with pain, and I'm so sorry that you're having such a hard time. I know so well of the loneliness that you feel, there is a big hole in our hearts. We wish more than anything to just once more be able to touch, kiss, or just SEE our children once again, what comfort that would bring to us, if only temporary. I know how it feels to have friends drop away, friends that you thought were good ones, only to leave you when you needed them the most. Just this past week, an old friend of mine who I haven't seen since Shane passed away, phoned me, and explained to me that she's avoided me all this time because Shane's death scared her, and she surely didn't want to lose one of her own children. I understand a little how she feels, but I still had to let her know that her actions hurt me. Is this the reason why so many drop away? I don't know, but by them dropping away, it adds more pain to our already devastating loss. No, I don't want people whispering behind my back, "there she is, she lost her son", I want them to be friends again with me, and let me be able to talk about my son without making them feel uncomfortable. If they do feel uncomfortable, that's something they have to work on, not us.
It's still very early in your Journey Barbara, so give yourself plenty of time, you're still going to have some very bad days, and then some good ones follow. If someone had told me at your stage that things would get better, I wouldn't have believed them, but they do, in a different sort of way. Your good days start to outnumber your bad ones, and your sharp pain subsides to a dull ache, that you learn to live with.
God bless you sweetie, love you lots, and you WILL get through this, my prayers and love are with you today and always,
Luv Sandy


shaner
5/27/2002 07:13

Hello Verna, I just noticed that you had posted about your birthday, a very happy, belated birthday to you! As the saying goes, we're not getting older, we're getting better. I'm happy also that your computer woes have been fixed, our oldest son Chris was up visiting this weekend, and he 'tweaked' my computer for me, isn't it wonderful that our children can help out us technologically impaired moms, :).
Luv Sandy


shaner
5/27/2002 20:17

Tomorrow, March 28th, would have been Shane's 28th Birthday. This Circle bears his name in honour of the life and love that he gave not only to us, his family, but to all. I ask for your prayers dear Moms as we commemorate and remember another birthday without him here. As you all know, these special days are always hard on us, but I know that I can count on all of you for prayers. God bless,
Luv Sandy


bdebbra
5/28/2002 00:47

Dear Sandy, You and your family are in my prayers today as you commemorate Shane's 28th birthday. It's so hard to get through these special dates and sometimes it's hard not to dwell on what could have been. I always wonder where my son Matthew would be now, what he would be doing, what he would look like. His 25th birthday will be on June 8. He was 22 yrs, 7 mths, and 11 days old when he died. (I posted earlier~he died the 1st time he snorted heroin). I have so many questions about his death that his friends have never answered. I find that one of the hardest things to accept. Anyway, I didn't mean to make this about me. I truly do pray for you and yours~may this difficult day be made brighter by the knowlegde that we are all here for you, praying and caring. Remember the good times. Cling to the memories. Feel blessed that he was your son if only for those 28 years. Please take care of yourself today. Luv~Debbra


shaner
5/28/2002 06:49

Hello bdebbra, it's so nice to see you posting again, I've wondered how you were doing. Thank you so much for your support and kind words to help what is a hard day an easier one for me. I do think on days like this "what would his life be like, would he have been married by now, with children, his job, and everything else in his life that was ended so young". We were blessed by God to have Shane in our lives for 24 years and I'll always be grateful for that, he brought us so much joy and happiness. I think of all the other birthdays that we shared, how I made his favourite supper for him, his cake which he never ate (didn't like cake), blowing out his candles, and things from his childhood, such as getting his first bicycle. Good, very good memories, but today is a sad one for me, because I miss him so much. Thank you so much Debbra for your kind, loving post, I truly appreciate it, and I pray that you're doing much better yourself. Your Matthew and my Shane, as well as all the other Angels are still with us, and are joined themselves in Heaven, with the love of all the moms in this Circle. May God bless you Debbra, and may you get the answers you're looking for, to give you some peace. I will hold onto my good memories,
Luv Sandy


dovesfromheaven
5/28/2002 09:32

Dear Sandy, I am praying for you and your family as you commemorate Shane's 28th birthday today. It is his 'Golden Birthday' and you can be sure he is celebrating it on the streets of 'gold' in heaven! I know how hard this day must be for you, for you miss him so. God Bless you Sandy for the Mother that you were to Shane, I'm sure he must have been a proud son to have you for a MOM! He's your 'Angel' now in Heaven watching over his precious MOM and Dad and Brother!
Dear Lord, I ask for Your Comfort and Peace for Sandy's broken heart for her Son Shane today as she remembers him on this special day, his 28th birthday. Suround her and her family with Your love and grace to move through this day as they tenderly remember the happy times with their son. Continue the healing in their hearts as they live for You each day. Bless them now Lord with a good day today. May they find comfort in knowing others are thinking and praying for them today and You are holding them up as they grieve their loss on this special day of Shane's birthday. In Jesus Name, Amen. God Bless you Sandy!
Love, Yvonne<><

 
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