Prayer Circles

Dear Tammy:
Congratulations on your 6 month anniversary with BELIEFNET, as of May 3rd. :) May 3rd. was also the 6 year anniversary of my poem, Chain Reaction. :) I tried to post here and at Rhonda's memorial site last night (several times), but every time I clicked on submit, something went wrong. So, I am trying again tonight; rather this morning. :)

In my last post at Rhonda's memorial site, (to your Mom), I wrote that I considered you to be our missing link in a spiritual chain reaction. Then, when I clicked on to post last night, I noticed the date that you signed up. When I counted the months, I took it to be a sign from God assuring me that I was right. :)

I don't know what work God has planned for you in the future, but right now, I believe that you are exactly where you are supposed to be; doing what God wants you to do. :). So, keep up the good work,Tammy, and God bless you for all the good you are doing! :)

In recognition of your 6th month anniversary with Beliefnet's Bereaved Parents Prayer Circle, I dedicate the following poem to you:

Chain Reaction

Sometimes I cry myself to sleep
When to life's trials I see no end
Just when it seems that know one cares
God says to me, "I'll be your friend."

Sometimes I feel life is not worth living
I get tired of trying I don't want to go on
Just when I've almost given up ...
God steps right in and makes me strong.

And uses me to help someone
Who just can't bear their cross alone...
When to life's trials they see no end...
I say to them, "I'll be your friend!"

Written by: Verna R. Clay
May 3, 1996

On behalf of Sandy, (God bless her:) and all the other moms at Bereaved Parents, THANK YOU, TAMMY, for being such a treasured and compassionate friend to all! God bless you always!

Love Always,
Verna

Dear Tammy:
Congratulations on your 6 month anniversary with BELIEFNET, as of May 3rd. :) May 3rd. was also the 6 year anniversary of my poem, Chain Reaction. :) I tried to post here and at Rhonda's memorial site last night (several times), but every time I clicked on submit, something went wrong. So, I am trying again tonight; rather this morning. :)

In my last post at Rhonda's memorial site, (to your Mom), I wrote that I considered you to be our missing link in a spiritual chain reaction. Then, when I clicked on to post last night, I noticed the date that you signed up. When I counted the months, I took it to be a sign from God assuring me that I was right. :)

I don't know what work God has planned for you in the future, but right now, I believe that you are exactly where you are supposed to be; doing what God wants you to do. :). So, keep up the good work,Tammy, and God bless you for all the good you are doing! :)

In recognition of your 6th month anniversary with Beliefnet's Bereaved Parents Prayer Circle, I dedicate the following poem to you:

Chain Reaction

Sometimes I cry myself to sleep
When to life's trials I see no end
Just when it seems that know one cares
God says to me, "I'll be your friend."

Sometimes I feel life is not worth living
I get tired of trying I don't want to go on
Just when I've almost given up ...
God steps right in and makes me strong.

And uses me to help someone
Who just can't bear their cross alone...
When to life's trials they see no end...
I say to them, "I'll be your friend!"

Written by: Verna R. Clay
May 3, 1996

On behalf of Sandy, (God bless her:) and all the other moms at Bereaved Parents, THANK YOU, TAMMY, for being such a treasured and compassionate friend to all! God bless you always!

Love Always,
Verna

Dear All, :) As Sandy always says, "Double the post, double the blessings!" :)
Love to All,
Verna

Hi Barbara, it's so nice to hear from you again! I'm not doing too badly, just dreading Mother's Day next week, but like every other special day, I'll get through it, as will everyone else. They're just very sad days, aren't they?
I'm so sorry to read that both you and your husband lost your own mothers too, on top of losing Jason, so I understand how you must be feeling yourself about Mother's Day. And your brother-in-law, so many losses so recently, God love you. That's so nice to be spending some time with your daughter on Mother's Day, I do understand, our burden of grief shouldn't be placed on our other children, we should be able to make memories for them also on this day, and every other day. They've lost a sibling, and we'll talk about our loss and their loss, but we don't want that to completely consume the day for our other children, who'll we'll want to make special memories for them also as you say. We've lost a child, but sometimes we forget that they've lost a brother, or sister, and it's very hard on them also. I hope this year you and your daughter will make some very special memories for you and her, and that you both will have each other to talk about Jason, and all the wonderful Mother's Days that all of you spent together. I'll pray that you and your daughter have a very special day together, and that your memories of Jason be happy ones, and that it will help you also to get through the day. Thank you for your kind words, Barbara, and I get as much comfort from you moms and inspired from your own lives and your precious losses as you all do from this Circle. What a beautiful thing you've posted at the bottom, Barbara, yes, they are our very own Angels, they are special, all of them, and so are our other children! God bless you, Barbara, you're truly another gem here at this Circle, and I pray for some peace for you today, and in the days, months ahead. May you be surrounded by your own Angel today! Much love to you,
Luv Sandy

Hello to everyone!
I've missed each of you so much, but I've been reading everyday so that I don't get behind. I haven't been feeling very well here for the past week. I'm going to the dr today, I think I have an inner ear infection. I've been quite dizzy! So I should be on the mend soon. Everything is going ok with my sewing project. Thanks to everyone for your thoughts on that!
I hear the deep pain in all of your letters. I had a 'valley week' all of last week. All my Pastor had to do last Sunday the 28th was mention Mother's Day and it sent me into a depression for a few days. I hadn't felt that way for along time. I'm always sad. There is something about Mother's Day as I've read from some of you. It does cause deep pain in our hearts. I don't want to be with anyone except my kids and husband, forget the extended family gatherings. My heart goes out to each one of you as this day of our approaches. May we each be filled with God's Peace. Dear Lord, I ask You to comfort all of these Mother's grieving hearts as we grieve our childrens loss. Help us to get through this day Sunday for you know the pain it causes each of us. Help us to just remember our beloved children the way Yopu would want us to. In Jesus Name, Amen. God Bless each one of you Sweet Moms! I love all of you. I will write more later.
Love, Yvonne<><

Hello b_debbra, I'm so very sorry to read of the loss of your beloved Matthew, so young and so suddenly. As Babbs (Barbara) says, don't feel guilty, young people do think that they are invincible, and we parents don't always know what they're doing. It's only natural to feel guilty, we parents, moms especially, feel so protective when it comes to our children, but we think sometimes that we've failed them when they've passed away, we couldn't protect them from death. A lot of moms experience guilt over losing their child, no matter what the circumstances of their passing, so you're not alone, I think we've all been through that stage at one time or another. Barbara is right, your Matthew wouldn't want you to feel such heavy guilt, he loves you and wants you to be happy, although I know that some days are harder than others, we'll always miss our beloved children. I know that Matthew is shining down on you from Heaven, and he'll always be your very own Angel, looking out for his much loved mom and his family and friends. He will always be a part of you, love never dies, so your bond with your child is eternal. May the peace and comfort of Our Heavenly Father be with you today, and please post back and let us know how you're doing, we all care here very much, our thoughts and prayers are with you,
Luv Sandy

Hello Yvonne, it's so nice to hear from you again too! We've all missed you too, but we know how busy you are with your preparations for your son's wedding. I'm sorry to read that you're not feeling up to par, hopefully the Dr. will give you something to make you feel like your old self again. I'm so sorry to read that you had a bad week last week, yes, even the mention of Mother's Day bring up a lot of pain for us, doesn't it. The way you're spending it sounds like the right way for you to mark the day, it's very hard to be around a lot of people sometimes on these very special days. Doing whatever it is that makes your day more bearable is the best way for each of us to handle it, and the love and prayers of this Circle will hopefully help all our precious moms during the day. May we all have some peace and comfort on that day, and the other days ahead. God bless you, Yvonne, and your prayers are beautiful for all of us, and you know you're always in ours. I hope your 'dove' was around again, much love and prayers to you,
Luv Sandy

Hello Verna, yes, we received a double blessing with your posts, :). We've all been so blessed and very fortunate that our Tammy found this Circle, and we're all the better for her wonderful love and compassion to all, she truly is another gem in this Circle. So Happy 6th month Anniversary to you, Tammy, we all love you a great deal and pray for you and your family, that God will bless you all abundantly. We are definitely the richer for you having found us!! And we thank you and send much love to you, you're a very special person,
Luv Sandy

Dear Sandy,
Thanks for writing me back and so soon! You are so sweet to get back to each one of us that come here and offer support. I hope that you are doing ok. Yes, I have seen my 'dove' again. It's so neat because it's when I least expect it and it's always when I'm doing something significant concerning my Joseph. God is so good isn't He??? I love Him so much!
I know what you mean in your post to Babbs about making our grief our childrens. I think I am good at that. I don't really mean to be, but I need to talk about Joe and I don't want him to be forgotten even in our own little family. And I do think they are afraid to bring it up too because of the pain they know we are still in. But I know how much they are hurting too, for they truly lost their best friend. I appreciate my kids so much more now than ever. Joe's death has changed us all in many ways. Mostly for the good. And I guess if his death was for that reason, he didn't die in vain. And I know he is being taken good care of in heaven. I miss him so much. I want you to know, Sandy, how much I appreciate you and all you do here at this loving cirlce of prayer for Moms with tender hearts for our children and Dads too! God Bless you always and Lord keep Sandy in your loving care today and everyday!
Love, Yvonne<><

Dear Barbara (Babbs),
How are you doing Babbs? I'm so sorry for your loss of your sweet son Jason and the way he died, oh, that has to be ever so difficult to deal with. How long has it been for you now? I don't know if I've read your post about it. I can't remember. Anyway, I want you to know that I am praying for you and your family.
I also want to thank you for posting at Joseph's memorial site. That was so thoughtful of you to do that. It means a grat deal to me that others care. We do have a bond don't we? Even though we've never met, we feel the pain of our grief from each other because we're going through it together. Our losses are different circumstances but the pain is the same and we all have many of the same exact feelings with it. I'm so glad to have a place I can come to and express my feelings and everyone knows what I'm going through.
It's great that you and your daughter can talk together about Jason. I can with my daughter too, it's somewhat more difficult with my 2 other sons, but we do manage at times. We do have to remember their pain also. We have a bond with them too with what we've gone through that will last forever.
Dear Lord, I ask you to be with Barb and give her you peace and comfort as she grieves for her precious son Jason. Wrap you loving arms around her and let her feel Your presence today. In Jesus Name, Amen. God Bless you Barb! I love you.
Love, Yvonne<><

Yvonne, Thank-you for the lovely post and prayer. I wish the same for you. I'm sorry you've been down lately but it certainly is understandable, isn't it? I told Sandy that I pretty much dread all holidays anymore. When you are with your extended families, it's nice, but it is so evident of who is missing at the gathering and it's even harder the holidays that you are home alone or just with the immediate family.I feel sure this gets better at some point.Don't you?
Jason was killed last January 28,2001 and we went through the trial in February of this year.
We are thankful that the trial is over. It has brought some sense of closure to us.
I pray that you find peace in your heart, that you did all you could do for your son,Joe, and that you know how much he loves his Mom. You are very special to us in the prayer circle. God Bless You and Your Family this Mothers Day!! Joseph will be near!! Please find some comfort in that and celebrate his memory!!!
Love to you, Barbara
Take care!

Hello Yvonne, I'm so happy for you that you saw your dove again! It must really make your day when it shows up, it lets you know that Joe is around, and watching over his much loved mom, I truly believe that God does send that dove to you, to help you with your sadness. I've very, very happy for you and I hope you see your dove many, many times! Yes, it is hard on our other children, as you say, sometimes they don't want to bring up the subject for fear that they'll upset us, and in their own grief they sometimes just don't know what to say themselves. So we have to hold them tighter. Your children lost their best friend as you say when Joe passed, and my other son Chris lost his too, and his only sibling. It's very hard on them too, sometimes we forget that. So it's nice just to have immediate family around on special days, instead of large family gatherings, it makes it more of a special day, and we can talk about all the wonderful memories and love that we still have of our child that's gone on, and their brothers and sisters can talk about their own special memories of their brother/sister. These make for special days themselves, and give us more memories to hold onto. That's so nice that your family has gotten closer since Joe passed, so as you say, something good has come out of something so devastating. We are much the same, the three of us have gotten much closer since Shane passed away, and I know he's very happy about that.
I know how much you miss your Joe, I know we're always going to miss our beloved children, it's a lifelong process of learning how to live without them, but as Barbara says, they're always close, near-by, and one day we'll see them again, that's so comforting to me.
Thank you for your kind words, Yvonne, but it's you and the other moms here that make this Circle so special, I love you all, and I'll always be here for you. Much love and continued prayers to you,
Luv Sandy

Dear Babbs, I appreciate your words of encouragement and your prayers. I get especially depressed when Mother's Day, and other holidays roll around. I have three other children, but that does not fill the emptiness I have had in my heart since Matthew died. I also want to express my sympathy regarding your son's death. It is so horrible that he died that way. My son was responsible for his own death, and that has a stigma that is hard to overcome. He made a very bad mistake, where your son was completely innocent. Thanks for your response. It is nice to know there are others who are hurting, struggling, and yet continuing to live on.

Dear Shaner,
Thanks for answering my message. I know in my head that I should not feel guilty, but somehow it is difficult to tranfer that information to my heart. I feel especially sad with Mother's Day coming on Sunday. My other 3 children will be coming to visit, I'm sure. Somehow that only emphasizes the empty spot in our family where Matthew used to be. I'd love to have just one more hug, or be called "Ma" one last time. I try to remember every little detail...I still sleep with his ball cap(which sounds a little nuts!) "Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. But today is a gift. That's why they call it the PRESENT." Each day I try to write a gratitude list, because I know that no matter how bad it looks, God had brought me to this point in time. I don't know the plan, I don't see the big picture. But I do believe we are here for a purpose, and that is to take care of each other, love one another, and support each other. This site apparently believes this too.

HI EVERYONE, SORRY I HAVEN'T POSTED IN AWHILE. IT'S JUST BEEN HARD WITH CHRIS TURNING 19 ON SUNDAY. ALOT OF TIMES I JUST GO AND VISIT MICHAEL'S SITE AND TALK TO HIM. MICHAEL WAS 19 WHEN HE WAS TAKEN AWAY FOR ONLY 2 DAYS AND WITH CHRIS'S GRADUATION ON THE 17TH AND MOTHER'S DAY COMING I'VE BEEN FEELING REALLY LOW. I'M ALSO TRYING TO PASS MY ALGEBRA CLASS SO I CAN GRADUATE WITH AN ASS. IN SCIENCE IN EARLY CHILDHOOD. SO MUCH TO DO IN A SHORT TIME SO I'M TRYING TO FIT EVERYTHING IN. TRYING TO KEEP UP ON THE POSTS AND ALL THE HOME WORK PLUS WORKING FULL TIME WITH SPECIAL ED. STUDENTS IT'S HARD WITH THE WAY I'VE BEEN FEELING. JUST LIKE ALL THE OTHER MOM'S HERE.I I'LL TRY TO CATCH UP TOMORROW. DEAR FATHER PLEASE HELP GIVE STRENGHT TO ALL THE MOMS, FOR WE AS THIS IN YOUR NAME THE FATHER AMEN LUV DEBBY

Hello b_debbra, it's so nice to see you posting again. I know it's very hard to separate the mind from the heart, I pray that these feelings of guilt will be erased from your heart, and that only good memories will come through for you. Yes, Mother's Day is just around the corner, and it's a very hard holiday for all of us. No, noone can ever replace Matthew, there'll always be that 'empty' chair there, but it's so nice that you have your other three children there for you on Mother's Day, talk about your Matthew throughout the day, include him in the day, and he won't seem so far away for you. I don't think you're 'nuts' at all to sleep with Matthew's ballcap, if it makes you feel better, then you do it!
Gosh yes, if we could all just hear our children's voices calling us once again, wouldn't that be wonderful! I know you miss your Matthew very much, losing a child is the worst pain that a parent can ever experience, and it takes a long time to come to an acceptance of that loss for it's like no other. And it's individual for each of us. So take your time, grieve in your own way, and try to have a blessed, peace-filled day today, I love what you wrote about the present, and the gratitude journal, we all do have some blessings even on bad days that we can draw upon. Yes, this Circle is just that, love, support and understanding, we all care here, we share in each other's pain, and hopefully we together can help each other out. I pray today also that your feeling of guilt are erased and replaced with some good memories of Matthew, and please, post back again, we all care here and send much love and prayers to you, God bless you,
Luv Sandy

Hi Debby, it's so nice to see you posting again, we've all missed you, but I'm so sorry to hear that it's been a bad week for you, and then of course we have Mother's Day on Sunday, so I think all of us are in a more reflectve and sad mood this week. That's so wonderful that you're taking classes to work with special needs children, you'll get as much out of it as the children will, I just know it! I'll say some extra prayers for you to help you with your busy week and your grief right now, take care of yourself, and post back when you have the time, we all care here, and our thoughts and prayers are with you, as well as our love,
Luv Sandy

HI SHANER, I'VE MISSED TALKING TO EVERY ONE. I KNOW THAT MOTHER'S DAY IS HARD FOR ALL THE MOMS AND I WILL SAY A PRAYER FOR THEM. I ALREADY WORK WITH SPECIAL NEEDS CHILDREN. WHEN MICHAEL PASSED I DIDN'T KNOW IF I COULD CONTINUE WORKING WITH CHILDREN BUT A SPECIAL MOM THAT I HAD KNOWN FOR 2 YEARS NEEDED ME TO WORK WITH HER CHILD IN THE PUBLIC SCHOOL AND I ACCEPTED AFTER BEING HOME FOR 2 MONTHS WHEN MICHAEL PASSED AWAY. I'M SO GLAD I TOOK THE JOB. I KNOW MICHAEL WOULD WANT ME TO CONTINUE WITH MY EDUCATION. HE WOULD OF BEEN VERY UPSET IF I DIDN'T. I WAS A HEAD TEACHER IN A DAY CARE AND WHEN THIS MOM HEARD WHAT HAPPEN SHE CALLED ME TO SEE IF I WAS READY TO GO BACK TO WORK AND IT WAS THE BEST THING I HAVE DONE. TO MAKE OTHER CHILDREN HAPPY. I'LL TRY TO COME BACK ON LATER. I NEED TO CATCH UP ON SOME READING. LUV DEBBY

Hello Debby, nice to see you posting again, we've all missed you too. That's so nice of you to say some prayers for the rest of us, we all can really use them! That's so wonderful that you already work with special needs children, I know that they have a very caring teacher in you. I'm happy for you that the mom talked you back into going, and Michael must be so proud of you, to continue on doing this wonderful work. I'm glad that you went back, it probably helped you take some of your grief away, by being busy helping other children out, and seeing their smiling faces. That's a very special thing to do! God bless you Debby, and our love and prayers are with you too,
Luv Sandy

I lost my son before he was even born. He was stillborn on 4/6/02. I join my prayers with yours.

Hello myread77, I'm so very sorry to read you lost your precious baby son. Having a child born stillborn must have a pain of it's own, to carry that child, and then lose them before you got a chance to even know them. That's very sad, you must still be in shock and pain, please know that we care here, and prayers and love are sent to you,
Luv Sandy

A close friend and his wife have just lost their 17 year old daughter in a "roll-over". The young man with her was traumatically hurt. Please pray, with me for the loss of their child and the recovery of the young man. They had so many years ahead of them. Now everything has come to a stop.
I know that life goes on, but the heartache is so devestating.I myself, have had more than my share, but never the loss of a child.
My heartfelt prayers are with all of you , who have continued your journey of life, and never gave up! God Bless You!!!

Hello cjmusgrove, I'm very happy that you posted here, all of our prayers are with the family who unforuntley lost their daughter, they need lots of understanding and support right now and in the months to come, and our prayers also to the young man, that he quickly be healed. God bless you for posting this tragedy here, and our thoughts and prayers go out to the families,
Luv Sandy

Dear Father,
~ As I took my walk today, I found myself thanking You for so many blessings. As I continued on my way, the thought occured to me that without Your life giving spirit, I would not be able to make one step. So, I smiled and said, thank You, Father, for everything.:) For, in spite of the pain of missing my precious Diane, I still have so very much to be thankful for. :) I have family and friends, and Lord, I have all these very special moms who post here at our prayer circle, who pray for me, and for whom I pray. Father, You are never too busy to answer our prayers. :) That gives each of us the strength we need, to make it through another day. :) And, even though we moms will face this special day that's coming up, we are grateful to You, our family, and to each other, that we will not have to face the day alone. Father, I pray that You will continue blessing all the moms here at this prayer circle, and also parents all over the world who have lost a precious child. I also pray for the healing of the nations throughout the world, Lord. Father, I pray for the leaders of all nations to turn to You, for divine guidance; so that all nations can heal, and live in peace with one another. Thank YOU, Father, for hearing my heartfelt prayer. And, finally Lord, please give each of our children a (((Big Hug))) from each of us moms; and tell them how much we love and miss them! :) In Your Son Jesus' name, I pray, Amen!