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Shane Whalen
This Prayer Circle is Dedicated to my son Shane Whalen Who Passed Away On March 15, 1999 at the Age of 24, & All Other Children


Start a prayer circle for bereaved parents who have lost a child.


There are many of us out there who have lost a child, and it is devastating. It changes the outlook on life, plunges you into a depression, and you think that the feelings and thoughts you have nobody else could possibly relate to. I think a prayer circle for bereaved parents would only benefit us and help us on our journey of grief. This Circle is one of Love, where a Grieving Parent can safely come to for Prayers, and to talk about their feelings.

 
Shaner -10/14/2000
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LOVE2U
5/1/2002 05:27

Dear Eudora ~ (Barb), My heart aches for you tonight. When I read your post, I just wished that I could be there in person for you. I know I can't, but Lord knows, I will be praying for you like all the other moms. I thought back to when I lost my Diane. Within a year after she was killed, I lost one of my brothers and two other family members; all in less than a year! So, I can relate to what this must be like for you. I lost my mother May 22, 2000, and my last brother; my baby brother (although he was a year older than me) July 1, 2oo1. His daughter died from shock once she learned of his death one month later. But, God has been my strength through it all. So, I can tell you from experience that; if you let Him, He will provide the help you need as you grieve the loss of your dearly beloved brother. As so many of us know, when God calls a dear loved one home suddenly and without warning, we are left with the pain of not having a chance to say good bye. However, in time, we come to realize that our loved ones knew just how much we loved them and how much they loved us. And, it is that love, and the knowledge that we will see all our loved ones again someday, that keeps us going. We also know that the pain we feel when a loved one dies cannot be compared to the endless joy we will someday know when God calls each of us home. :) Until then, we must carry our crosses, with the help God provides through our many friends and loved ones. I pray that God will wrap His loving arms around you as you grieve the loss of your beloved brother. I also pray that you feel the love and compassion that all of us here extend to you and your brother's wife and family during your hours of breavement. May God bless and keep you and your entire family in His loving care.
Love Always,
Verna
vclay100@aol.com


LOVE2U
5/1/2002 05:57

Dear Rosebudd7 ~ I am so sorry to read about the loss of your precious son, Keith. My heart goes out to you. I will pray for you and your family; that God will bring healing from within. As you will discover in some of the back posts, most men seem to handle grief in a different way. A lot of moms often feel as you do. It's not that they don't care, it's just that they are dealing with their own grief and don't realize how we moms feel. I hope it helps to know that other moms can relate to how you feel, and will be praying for you and your family daily. I pray that God will provide you with moments of peace; today, and in the days ahead. Again, you will be prayed for here.
Love,
Verna


shaner
5/1/2002 08:05

Hello rosebudd7, and welcome to the Circle, I'm very happy that you found it too! I'm so very sorry to read that you also lost a child, your son Keith, three years ago. I lost my Shane three years ago too, and I know how the loss of a child can turn your whole world upside down. Dads and Moms do grieve differently, men have been conditioned unfortunately to not let their grief out as much as we women do, so they hold it in, or try to, but eventually it has to come out. Hopefully understanding this will help you with you and your husband right now, I pray so. I'm also so sorry to read about your other son, he sounds as though he's also been extremely affected by his brother's passing, and the affect it's had on your family. Keep praying, and know that we all care, we will definitely be praying for you and your family, that it will be healed and become one again. I also pray that your feelings of emptiness and hopelessness disappear, and that you feel love and contentment instead. May God bless you and your family, and please post back here anytime you want, we all care.
Luv Sandy


shaner
5/1/2002 13:03

Hi Tammy, I hope you enjoyed your night to yourself last night, that's so nice of your parents to give you a break, but I bet they just love having their grandchildren with them anyway! It's nice sometimes just to have time with ourselves. Thank you for your beautiful post at Shane's Memorial Site again, you're such a sweetie, always thinking of others yourself! Hope you enjoyed your night to yourself, and I look forward to seeing you tonight here!
Luv Sandy


Babbs
5/1/2002 19:09

Tammy is so sweet and unselfish of her time as Sandy always is. I think the world of all of you. Have a great evening and a lovely tommorrow!!
Always, Barbara


shaner
5/1/2002 19:38

I think the world of you too Barbara, and I hope that you also have a peace-filled evening and a beautiful tomorrow, may the road rise up to meet you and the sun shine on your face! (Old Irish saying), and said from the heart.
Luv Sandy


rosebudd7
5/2/2002 01:13

Dear Friends,
Thanks so much for your response to me pray request. I appreicate it so very much and it means so much to me. I know pray works....but right now with all the burdens I have its so hard to pray except to thank God for who he is. Please, pray for my youngest son.....he is so so hurt and needs to get back to God like he was before his brother got killed. Blessings and peace to each and everyone of you. Love ya, Rose


rosebudd7
5/2/2002 01:19

Dear Sandy and Verna,
Your kind words and support means so much to me right now. I know men grief so different and I keep hangin in there and hope for a healing of our family.I am so so sorry for all the deep loss in this pray circle........may God bless and give each of you all peace that passes all understanding. This is the most horrible pain I have ever felt losing my sweet son Keith. I lost both parents and my first husband and many young friends.....but this has left me in a bad way losing my son. He has two little children and it breaks me heart to see them without there loving, caring Dad. Sorry, for rambling but thanks for listening. Love ya, Rose


shaner
5/2/2002 08:55

Hello Rose, nice to see you posting again, and you're NOT rambling, you can say whatever is on your heart here. Yes, there is no loss in the world that compares to the loss of one of our children, it's a completely different loss, and for a parent, the worst. Like you, I thought it was bad to lose my parents, but losing my son was a whole different kind of pain and grieving. And the other moms on these pages would tell you the same thing. I'm so sorry about your youngest, I pray that he comes to some sort of acceptance of his brother's passing, and is able to continue with his studies and have a more peace-filled life, God love him. He's in our prayers. That's so nice that you have keith's children there for you, in them you can see a big part of their dad, and you can tell them what a wonderful dad he was and is! You have the unique opportunity to be their 'memory' of their dad, and be able to tell them what he was like, and continue his memory on to them! I pray that your family becomes complete once again, and that the hurts experienced by all will be erased, and that you all can grieve for your Keith as one. I know it must be so hard to see your precious grandchildren growing up not having their father, but as I said, you're their living legacy for their dad now, and you can keep his memory alive for them! Much continued prayers and love to you and your family,
Luv Sandy


hothoosiers
5/3/2002 16:48

Dear rosebudd7:
I am so sorry for the pain that you are going through right now. I know that it must be so difficult to deal with your own pain and also have to try to help the rest of your family come to terms with this as well. Please know that I will pray that the Lord gives you and your family strength, comfort, and peace. The other mothers here have posted about their husbands dealing with their children's deaths in similar ways here and I hope that they are able to give you the advice and help that you need. Your 19 year old son is going through an awful time as well. He is dealing with it like I would imagine alot of 19 year olds would. Maybe trying to block it out by masking it with drugs or alcohol. I pray that the Lord finds him and touches his heart and soul and helps him realize that this only clouds the pain momentarily. But then, it comes back worse. His family and faith in the Lord are the only way to deal with this awful tragedy. I know that eventually he will realize this. It will just take some time. When I was younger, I dealt with life's problems the same way. I thought that enough beers would erase my problems from my mind. And it did for awhile. But when I woke up from passing out, not only was I still sad and the problem was still there, I was sicker than a dog and felt physically exhausted.
Age has taught me a lot and it will your son as well. I pray that he learns faster than I did.
Lord bless you and your family. I pray that you all find comfort and peace.
Love always,
Tammy Cooper
jaycee5@bellsouth.net


hothoosiers
5/3/2002 17:01

Dear Sandy and Barbara:
You all are very kind. I had a nice evening. I am very lucky to have a wonderful and helpful family. And now I have more family here that I cannot imagine being without. You are all so helpful and caring to me. I honestly cannot imagine not knowing how you all are doing. I am so glad that you all are sending your e-mails. That way, if something ever happens, I will still have a way to connect with you.
Love always,
Tammy Cooper
jaycee5@bellsouth.net


shaner
5/3/2002 18:57

Hi Tammy, missed hearing from you, but I'm happy to hear that you had a lovely evening. That was so nice of your parents to give you a wee break, and some time for yourself. You're very special yourself!
I can't stress enough how much we love you here and feel so blessed that you're a permanent part of this Circle, and we're the fotunate beneficiaries of your kind, loving words! Yes, you do have family here, we're all one big family, joined together with love. We're all the richer for you having found this Circle, and I know the other moms feel the same way. Yes, I'm so glad also that we've shared e-mail addresses, we'll always be able to stay in touch, in the event of something happening.
I pray everyone else is doing alright too,
Luv Sandy


mej80
5/3/2002 23:58

hello to all - it has been a while since i've been on here but i just want to let you all know that i am thinking about you and praying for you daily!
rosebud - i especially pray for you during this time of sorrow - i pray that the Lord Almighty strengthens you and your family!
i pray for you all - i ask that you keep me and my family in your prayers - my dad has lou gerhig's disease and is not doing well - please keep us in your thoughts and prayers - thanks - talk to you all soon!
*In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven - Matthew 5:16


LOVE2U
5/4/2002 00:41

Dear Eudora (Barb), ~ This is just to let you know that you are in my thoughts and prayers at this time. Again, I am so sorry about all you and your family are going through at this time. I will continue to ask God to comfort you and your entire family and give you moments of peace during your most recent loss. I know this has to be a very stressful time for all. Just remember to lean on our Lord and Savior, and He will never leave you to carry this cross alone.

Also, I wanted to thank you for your earlier posts to my Diane on 4/4 and 4/12. :) I had not checked her memorial for quite some time due to computer and health problems. I can just see her smiling as she read them. :) She was so much like me in so many ways, so I know your compassionate posts meant a lot to her. I know that she and Carol are best friends because from what you have shared about Carol, she and Carol are a lot alike. :) I know they both are happy in heaven with our Lord and Savior. :) I thank God everyday for taking such good care of our girls. God bless you Barb, and please know that your Carol is there with you in spirit; just as my Diane is with me. :) And always remember, we will see all of our dear loved ones again someday! :)
Love,
Verna


LOVE2U
5/4/2002 00:52

Dear Hothoosiers (Tammy) ~ Thank you so much for your kind and encouraging words. :) Any time you post, you always make me feel so much better. :) I was just sitting here thinking about Mother's Day and was feeling a little low. Then I thought about the last Mother's Day I spent with my daughter, Diane. She tried to make it so special! :) Lord, I will never forget that Mother's Day! She really made it special. :) This month will be a little sad, because my mother died on May 22, 2000, just 2 days before my birthday. But, then I make myself recall all the wonderful years God allowed her to be with us, and I can't help but thank God for sharing her with us for 91 precious years. :) Then, I count my blessings!:) No matter how sad I feel sometimes, I always know that I will come out of it because of special friends like you and the other moms in our prayer circle! :) I also appreciate you and your entire family for keeping me and all the other moms in your prayers. I am making a special effort to take better care of myself. I have been feeling much better since I started following doctor's orders. :) The hardest thing for me is going to bed early. I have always loved staying up late because it is so peaceful and quiet then. :) But, I am doing a little better about going to bed much earlier. I must admit, I do feel a lot better the next day. :) Thanks again for all the love and prayers. I will keep you and your precious family in my prayers always! May God bless you and family always!
Love,
Verna
vclay100@aol.com


LOVE2U
5/4/2002 01:03

Dear Babbs (Barbara) ~ Thank you so much for your kind words. Lord knows they are appreciated. Sometimes I just don't feel that I am doing enough to help the moms like I wish I could. :) If only I could take away some of the indescribable grief and pain that so many of them are just beginning to know! I know I shouldn't worry about it, but sometimes I realize that's just what I am doing. :) That's when I make myself regroup, and thank God for using me to do whatever I can, whenever I can.:) Really, that's all any of us can do. So, I consider it a blessing when you and the other moms feel I have somehow helped in some small way. :) As Sandy reminds us frequently, we all are doing God's work; and that includes you! :) I dearly love all the moms who post here at our prayer circle. :) And, please believe me, your posts and the prayers that you all pray have helped me greatly. Sometimes, when I am having a valley day, I think about all the prayers that are prayed for me, and it helps me to count my blessings. :) So, again, thank you for keeping me in your prayers. You may be sure that I will keep you and the other moms in my prayers always! May God bless and keep you and family in His care!
Love,
Verna


DEBORAHPOO
5/4/2002 07:18

DEAR EUDORA, I'M SO SORRY TO HEAR ABOUT THE LOSS OF YOUR BABY BROTHER. PLEASE KNOW THAT I WILL PRAY FOR YOU DURING THIS HARD AND DIFFICULT TIME. THE PRAYERS AND WORDS THAT I HAVE RECIEVED SINCE I'VE JIONED THE PRAYER CYCLE HAVE HELPED ME OUT ALOT AND I HOPE THEY WILL YOU TOO. LUV DEBBY


DEBORAHPOO
5/4/2002 07:34

DEAR ROSEBUDD7, I KNOW WHAT YOUR HUSBAND AND SON OUR GOING THROUGH, AND I'M SO SORRY. MY HUSBAND IS A LITTLE THE SAME WAY WHEN MY SON MICHAEL GOT IN THE ACCIDENT THAT TOOK HIS LIFE, MY HUSBAND WOULDN'T EVEN G TO THE HOSPITAL. HE WAS SO SCARED TO SEE HIM THAT WAY. HE WAS ALWAYS CALLING ME TO SEE HOW HE WAS DOING AND KEPT TELLING ME THAT MICHAEL WAS A STRONG PERSON AND THAT HE WOULD BE AK AND MAKE IT. 2 DAYS BEFORE HE PASSED AWAY MY HUSBAND DID COME TO THE HOSPITAL ON THE DR'S REQUEST, YOU COULD SEE THE TEARS IN HIS EYES AND THE SCAREY NESS IN HIS VOICE. MY YOUNGEST SON WAS THERE EVERY DAY. HE BLAMED HIMSELF BECAUSE HE AND HIS BROTHER HAD GOTTEN INTO AN ARGUEMENT 2 DAYS BEFORE THE ACCIDENT. I WAS SO WORRIED FOR MY SON WHEN HIS BROTHER PASSED AWAY. HE QUIT SCHOOL DID NOTHEN ALL DAY AND WASN'T TALKING TO US. HE IS VERY CLOSE TO MY SISTER AND BETWEEN HER, HUSBAND AND OUR PRIEST WITH OTHER FAMILY MEMBERS PUTTING PRESURE ON HIM AND DOING THING AS A FAMILY AGAIN THINGS TURNED AROUND FOR HIM. HE IS MORE OPEN WITH US AND WENT AND RECIEVED HIS GED AND WILL HAVING A GRADUATION CEREMONY ON THE 17TH THIS MONTH. WE BOUGHT LAND AND HE IS A BIG PART IN CLEARING IT WITH MY HUSBAND. SO I HOPE YOUR SON WILL TURN AROUND LIKE MINE HAS. I WILL KEEP YOU IN MY PRAYERSAND HOPE THINGS TURN AROUND FOR YOU AND YOUR FAMILY. GOD BLESS YOU. LUV DEBBY


shaner
5/4/2002 07:34

Hello mej80, it's so nice to hear from you again, and see you posting. We've all missed you and your posts. We appreciate your thoughts and prayers, and you're in ours. I'm very sorry to read about your dad, you know we'll storm Heaven with prayers for him and your family. May God bless you and your family,
Luv Sandy


shaner
5/4/2002 07:45

Hello Verna, nice to see you posting again. Yes, Mother's Day is next week, and it has to be one of the hardest Holidays for a bereaved mom. The stores are filled with aisles of Mother's Day cards, gifts for Mom of all kinds, and all they do is drive home to us the fact that Mother's Day is very painful for us and we'd much rather just skip the day and stay away from those aisles. I also lost my mother the day before Mother's Day, and it was one of the hardest Holidays to get through until I lost Shane, then I really knew the pain of Mother's Day.
It truly is a Holiday that I would love to just skip right over, thank goodness my other son lives out of town, I don't have to put a 'face' on for him, not ruining his love and thoughts for me on that day. Moms, however you want to mark Mother's Day is up to you, whatever makes you feel better, and for most it will be a painful day, driving home the loss of their precious child.
These special days are so very hard on us, but especially this one. So do whatever you can to get through the day. One thing I do is get some helium filled balloons, and at sunset let them go up to Heaven, with Shane's name on them, it gets me through the day, and helps me. God bless all you wonderful moms, and if you have any special ways of marking the day, let us know. My prayers and thoughts are always with each and everyone of you, love to all,
Luv Sandy


shaner
5/4/2002 12:09

Hello Debby, it's so nice to see you posting again too. I'm so happy that our prayers for you have made you feel a little better, prayer is one of the strongest tools we have and I believe strongly in it, I've seen over and over again how God blesses and answers prayers. It's so nice to see you posting to other moms who are also in pain, I read your post to rosebudd, and it's filled with love and some very good advice, I know she'll appreciate it. May Our Lord continue to bless you and may our prayers for you continue to help, our love to you,
Luv Sandy


b_debbra
5/5/2002 20:23

My son, Matthew, died 27 months ago. He was 22 years old. He died the first time he snorted heroin. It is something I will never get over. I still cry every day for him. I will always feel guilty for not realizing he had been using pot, speed, ecstacy, and then the heroin. He was an adult, and made his own decision, but as a parent, I find it hard to let go of the guilt. Parents, love your children as much as you can. Matthew was a great friend to many, loving and wonderful to me and his family. I pray that he is at peace with our Lord. He had a beautiful heart.


Babbs
5/5/2002 21:05

Dear b_debbra, I am so sorry for the loss of your son. You must not blame yourself and I feel sure your son would not want you to feel guilty for that. Our kids make their own decisions and not always what we would have them do,but they are young,they think they are invincible, and they are still under alot of different influences at that age. I too lost my son Jason at age 22. He was murdered by a 19 year old. What a waste of 2 lives,so young.
My heart aches for you and your family. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. Everyone at this prayer circle will be here for you. I know Matthew is at peace with God now and I know he will be missed by many always. He will live on in your heart!! He will never be forgotten!! I pray that this will bring you some comfort and some peace!
Bless you, Barbara


Babbs
5/5/2002 21:34

Sandy, How are you? Good,I hope. I think of you often and pray for you and your family and I too have been sort of dreading Mothers Day also.My husband and I both have lost our mothers within the last 3-5 years and then we lost Jason and my husbands younger brother last year. I will probably spend time with my daughter and that is always nice but it'll be hard for her too. I think it's always so apparent that we are thinking how much we miss Jason on all holidays,and we talk about it but I don't want that to always overshadow any new memories we may create together. Do you know what I mean? I get rather angry when I think of the burden placed on my daughter now.I think it's another complicated aspect of grieving, and how it will always affect our childrens' surviving siblings. I'm sure you know exactly, as do the other mothers here in the prayer circle. It's hard for us as Moms, to survive the loss. but it's very difficult on the siblings too. My heart breaks for my daughter and she is so special to me. I think we try not to upset each other. Thankyou for being here Sandy!! It's very important to all of us!!!

I want everyone to know that I will say some special prayers on Mothers Day for all of you and I feel blessed to know each of you, and about your children. They are the Angels that watch over all of us here on earth. I find alot of comfort in that, because they are some very special,and very loved children,just as are our children still with us here on earth!! God bless you all!!!
Love,Barbara

 
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