Prayer Circles

Dear pun82224, I know you don't have anyone to call you Mom,but you are still a Mom and always will be to your sons as well as to others. I'm deeply sorry for your losses! I'm so sorry for your ongoing sorrow! I hope you also have so many good memories to reflect on. Please know that I care, and your sons will not be forgotten! You will remain in my thoughts and prayers as will your 2 boys! Barbara

Hello pun82224, your post is so sad, it breaks my heart. I will never know the pain that you experience losing both your boys, it must be so very difficult to live with each and everyday. Losing one child is devastating enough, but losing two in incomprehensible to me, I don't think I could handle it very well either. But as Barbars says, you WILL always be a Mom, the love that you and your boys shared is still there, and I know how sad they must be to see their mom in so much pain still. Please know that I care, as do the other moms, and your boys will never be forgotten as Barbars says, they live on still in your heart, in the wonderful memories they left for you and others that their lives touched, and one day you will see them again. We all care for you here, and our continued prayers for you, God love you,
Luv Sandy

Barbara:
I am so sorry about yesterday. I am just hurting I guess its because I have an anniversary coming up next month for my oldest. He took his own life. A life I gave to him. I so much wanted to have him here each and everyday. It hurts so much cuz he lefted. He was the greatest son,brother,uncle,etc. He had this special smile that just lite up a room when ever he walked in. This pain is there no end.

Sandy:
Thanks so much for the kind words. Your right of course in everything you said but I guess with the anniversary coming up I am at my wit ends. He took his life. I gave him life. I so much wanted him to have but I guess he didn't. So many unanswered questions with no answers. The pain is real. I am truly sorry. I can't do this. Sorry!

Hello pun, I'm so happy that you posted back again. Your son's Anniversary coming up must be so very hard on you, these special days always are so hard to deal with. They can plunge us right back to the day that they passed away, and all the bad memories that go with it. I know you gave him life, pun, but he must have been in a great deal of pain himself, to have wanted to end it, God love him. Now his pain is over, and he's resting in God's arms, and still watching over his much loved mom.
I know that a suicide leaves you with much unanswered questions, besides the pain you're experiencing over his loss.
He sounds like a wonderful young man, his smile, as you say, lighting up a room! Now he's shining brightly in Heaven, and on his mom. With his Anniversary coming up, it's bringing up more pain for you, so please lean heavily on God, He'll see you through this very hard day. We all love and care about you, so please know that our thoughts and prayers are with you. God bless you, and may God erase some of your pain today.
Luv Sandy

Dear papabear1701:
You have such a strong faith! I do not know how I would feel after losing three children, and I am so sorry that you and your wife have had such tragedy in your lives. I will pray that you and your family have comfort and peace.
It was so kind of you to pray for the other familys here. They most definately will appreciate it and will add your family to their prayers as well.
Love always,
Tammy Cooper
jaycee5@bellsouth.net

Dear pun82224:
Please don't give up! I know that you must be so very devasted by the loss of both your sons, but you came here for a reason. You are trying, and we all know that. We want to help you. The parents here have bad days as well. They may have "moved on", but not one day, hour, minute, or second does their child leave their thoughts. They have just found a way to sometimes move that thought over in their mind.
Yes, there are things in life that you will not experience, but the world has so much to offer you. Your sons would want you to experience life and all that it has to offer, not be mad and dwell on what will never be.
I can only imagine your pain and I am so sorry that you must go through this. I just want you to know that you will have bad days and you will have good days. There is nothing wrong with feeling down and crying all day long sometimes, you deserve that. But you also deserve to be happy. You deserve to travel and meet lots of wonderful and caring people. You deserve to go to parties and other celebrations with friends and family. You deserve to go shopping and buy pretty things for yourself. You deserve to go out to dinner and splurge on that double-fudge chocolate cake that (if you're like me, you definately don't need, but will get it anyway). And you deserve at the end of the day to look up in the beautiful sky and tell your son's that even though you had a good day that day, that not one moment went by that you did not have them in your thoughts. You just "moved it over a little bit".
I pray that you know how much I will be thinking and praying for you! You found this site for a reason and you came back again and again. I know that you are desperately trying to find a way to believe in life again, I hope that you keep coming here, because I want to know how you are doing. I believe that you will experience "life" again and that you can find comfort.
Love always,
Tammy Cooper
jaycee5@bellsouth.net

Dear pun82224, Please know that you never have to apologize to any of us here in the prayer circle for sharing your feelings. Your posting sounded so sad and I know we've all been there before. My heart aches for your losses and I'm sure you will always have alot of questions about each of your sons' deaths. I think as a mother, we want so much to understand what happened to our children and often we feel guilty no matter how their life ended. We feel like we should always be there to protect them and keep them safe. But we also know in our minds that we can't always do that, so you need to let go of the guilty feelings and reflect on the many good times you shared. I know myself,guilt goes along with the death of a loved one, but your loved one would not ever wish that for you.As Sandy said , your son was in alot of pain and now he is at peace. Believe me it was difficult to hear that when I lost my son; I wanted him here with us. I still do! But I have grown to believe he is okay and in a much better place. I also believe we'll be together again someday and that he watches over me and our family. He is never really far!!

I still have a long way to go toward healing but I've also come a long way in this process. Everyone grieves differently and at their own pace. Please know that we are here for you. God Bless You and Take Care,
Love, Barbara

Tammy and Sandy, My e-mail is BBSnipes@msn.com . I wanted to keep in touch with everyone in case Beliefnet dissolves. I also have Jason's memorial at americanmemorials.com under Jason E. Ward. I had purchased that memorial and have been very pleased with it and their staff has always been very helpful
with downloading photos for me if I'm unable to. I treasure both memorial sites so I hope beliefnet continues. If it doesn't I hope we can still e-mail.I will get Verna and Barbs address from one of you also. Love to all, Barbara

Hello Barbara, (Babbs), your post and Tammy's to Pun was so loving and kind, I know both must of helped her out in some very touching way. Thanks for sharing your e-mail address, I hope as does everyone else that Beliefnet continues, but just in case, it's nice to be able to still correspond with each other in the event something does happen. Mine is sewhalen@yahoo.com
Another beautiful Memorial Site for Jason and others, that's so wonderful!
I'm going to look at it when I'm done here. Hope you're doing alright, Barbara, it's still early in your own grieving stage too. Love and prayers,
Luv Sandy

Dear Pun82224 ~ My heart goes out to you at this time. Special days are always hard to get through. Please know that everyone here wish they could take your pain away; but none of us can. All we can do is pray and ask God to make the pain you are feeling a little easier to bear. Having lost two sons, Lord, there's no wonder you are hurting so! Please know that we are here for you, to help you get through these valley days. I will keep you in my heartfelt prayers!
Love,
Verna

Dear God, ~ My heart is heavy tonight. You see, there are a lot of moms grieving the loss of their children, right now, Lord. The pain is so very deep. Sometimes the pain is so great, until many of us moms feel like giving up or giving in to the pain. Lord, we really need You to take away some of the unbearable pain that so many moms are forced to live with on a day to day basis. I know that You understand exactly how deep that pain is for each of us from day to day. Lord, I will never forget how close I came to giving up, and giving in to the indescribable grief and pain I was carrying around inside of me! Nobody could see it, Lord, but You! Lord, I will never forget how close I came to missing my chance to do Your Will! Right now, Father, I have a very special prayer request; Father, I ask that You reveal to Pun82224, that her precious sons are in heaven with You. Let her feel Your love, and the love of both her sons! Right now, Lord, Pun82224 is really missing her boys in a bad way! Lord, please send Your Holy Spirit to comfort her; to help her through this "valley" time! Let her know, Father, that there is still much to be thankful for! Lord, help her to lean on You, please let her know that she cannot do it alone! None of us can! That's the reason we pray so hard and so often for all the moms who have lost their precious children! Lord, You have given us moms each other! Lord, I didn't have this prayer circle back when Diane was killed, but thank God, I do now! Thank You, Father, for giving us so many wonderful parents to pray for us, as we continue to pray for them, on a daily basis. Father, I ask that You reveal to Pun82224, that we love her; we feel her pain, and that we are here for her, to help her through this valley time. Father, please wrap Your loving arms around her, and give her the strength to move on, in spite of her grief and pain. Let her know that each of us have felt like giving up at times, and may feel that way again at any time! If we do, Lord, then I pray that You will give us the help and strength we need to move on, in spite of all that we've been through! Please, God, reveal to Pun82224 how much we need her, to help other bereaved moms, during their valley days, in the days ahead. Thank You, God, for answering my heartfelt prayer! These things I ask in Jesus' name, Amen

Hello Everyone! ~ I have really missed all of you so much. Healthwise, I hope I am doing better. I go for my checkup
Friday. The swelling is down and I am trying hard to follow doctor's orders. :) I will begin catching up on post sometime tomorrow. I spent most of tonight reading back post. Since it's already late, I will call it a night. :) I will remember all in my prayers.
Love,
Verna
vclay100@aol.com

Dear Pun82224, ~ I couldn't go to bed until I visited both of your son's memorial site. Please know I will keep you in my prayers. I am so very sorry about the loss of both of your sons. This has to be so hard on you! Please, don't give up! Your boys want you to move on and seek joy in this life! We know that we will see them again someday! That alone is such a blessing! The hard part for us is to learn how to move on, in spite of the pain we will always have to deal with. It may not seem like it, but the prayers that we pray for each other really does help us get through those valley days. :) You have every right to express your grief in any way that you choose to; and as often as you wish! I believe it helps to get some of that grief out! It is always safe to say what you feel here. Just remember that all of us will be praying hearfelt prayers for you during these valley days, as well as in the days, weeks, months, and years ahead. May God keep you in His care!
Love,
Verna

Hello Verna, nice to see you back, and I know that Pun will appreciate your prayers also! With all of us praying for her, I know it's going to make a very unbearable day a little easier, but Pun, if you feel sad and want to shed many tears, that's alright, everybody grieves in their own way, and as I said to you, I just can't imagine losing two children, you're a lot stronger than you think, you've made it this far, and I know with God's help, you'll make it a lot farther! Much prayers and love,
Luv Sandy

Hi Sandy,Tammy,Verna and everyone,I haven't been able to post.I don't know if i will ever be the same again.I lost my baby brother Thursday morning.He died about 6 in the morning.He had never been sick.My sister in law called me while i was getting ready for work.He had fell in the bathroom.She had called 911.They worked on him but it didn't do any good.They took him to the hospital where they pronounced him dead.He was only 48.God i can't take any more.I feel like i am going to die.I am so empty inside.He was my little Bubba.I love all my family but Moma died when he was two and it was me and him left.Daddy had to work so i practically raised him.I loved him so much.First my daughter and now my baby brother.I know they say God doesn't give you more than you can handle but i don't know.I am not handling it very well.It hurts so bad.I can't eat,i can't sleep.I am going to try to go back to work tomorrow.Please pray for me because right now i just don't know what to do.I love you all.Barb(my email is suncass1@cs.com Please forgive me if i don't always answer right away.I just have no desire to do anything.And also my brother is buried behind my daughter.So now i can at least visit them together.God help me and take away this awful pain.I just can't deal with it.Barb( i am also sorry,i did not read all the post but know i do care.)

Barb, I'm so very sorry that you have lost your brother. I know this must be devastating for you and your whole family. My heart is heavy for you. Please know that you are in my thoughts and prayers. I pray to God to give you the strength you will need to get through this very difficult time now. My love to you, Barbara

Dear Babbs (Miss Barbara):
Thank you so much for posting your e-mail! I so much wanted to know how to stay in contact with you if beliefnet was gone. I will also visit your son's memorial site at americanmemorials.com when I am done here. You have been such an important person in my life, I hope you realize that! Thank you for, (as you stated before), restoring my belief in good in this world.
Love always,
Tammy Cooper
jaycee5@bellsouth.net

Dear Shaner (Miss Sandy):
I just love seeing your posts when I come here! I don't know how you find the time to take care of "duties" and then, be such a contributer to humanity like you do, but you are my inspiration. I only wish that I could juggle everything like you do and be such an inspirational human being. I love you for that.
I just wanted to tell you that I have a package going out to you in the mail tomorrow. I have been working on it for some time now. Kaitlyn has a lot of stuff for you.....and I finally got all of the pictures together. I still have 5 rolls of film that need to be developed. As soon as I can afford to process them I will send you some more (ha ha).
I just wanted to thank you again for everything you do for me. I wish I could hug you in person and let you know how much you mean to me. But that will, hopefully, come another day. I have a friend in Buffalo, NY, that I visit every now and then. I have no idea how close that is to you, but......
Love and prayers to you and your family always,
Tammy Cooper
jaycee5@bellsouth.net

Dear LOVE2U (Miss Verna):
I am so glad to hear that you are doing good! I miss you when I don't see your name on the posts here, but I am now glad that I wrote down your e-mail just in case beliefnet goes down.
Your prayer to pun was beautiful. I know that she will appreciate it so much. I truly hope that she realizes that there is still "life" out there. I can only imagine the pain that she goes through, but with the Lord's arms around her and our prayers surrounding her, hopefully she will make it.
Love always,
Tammy Cooper
jaycee5@bellsouth.net

Dear eudora (Miss Barb):
I am so sorry for all that you are going through! I wish that I could be by your side and hug you when you need to be hugged and just be around when you want somebody around. You have had to deal with so much and all I can offer you is my unconditional love and prayers. I hope that you know that you are an inspiration to everyone here. Please don't give up on the Lord or life. I know that I would probably feel the same as you if I were facing the same tragic circumstances. But, hopefully, I would also have as many people caring about me as you do. We all want to be there for you. I will pray that you find the comfort that you so need right now.
I love you dearly and hope that the Lord takes you in His arms tightly and reminds you how much He loves you and that this is His way. He only knows why and that He will reveal this to us when it is our turn to know. And oh, what a joyous day that will be! To feel the love and laughter and happiness that all of our loved ones feel right now!
I love you and hope that you feel my love and prayers that I send you everyday!
Love always,
Tammy Cooper
jaycee5@bellsouth.net

Our dearest Barb (eudora), I am so very, very sorry to read about your baby brother passing on, so suddenly and so young too. My heart goes out to you in this fresh pain. Just let yourself grieve, you're still dealing with Carol's passing, and now your brother's. Lean heavily on God, and please know that He IS there for you in your pain. He'll see you through this in time, but you take all the time you need. Concentrate on yourself right now, take care of yourself, and you know we all love you and send our thoughts and prayers out to you. God bless you, Barb, and know that we all care,
Luv Sandy

Hello Tammy! You're such a sweetheart, I love your posts and everyone else's just as much as you like mine! I love this Circle, and I love all the special people here, especially the ones who have become 'regulars'. This Circle is a labour of love for me, as Barbara (Babbs) said, it's a way of releasing my own pain, it's therapeutic for me, and in my own little way, hopefully I can give back some of the blessings that I've received since I lost my Shane. You, Barbara, Verna, Barb, Pun, Yvonne, and everybody else, (I apologize if I've forgotten your name, it's my memory, not for lack of praying for you and loving you too), all your posts inspire me, and give me much needed strength to continue on my own Journey, and in the process, hopefully help others out, that's what we're all here for. Oh, I can't wait to receive the package, I know I'm going to love it, I hope there's lots of pictures in it! And once you get the rolls of film developed, I would be so happy to receive some more! I live about a 5 hour drive from Buffalo, so not all that far, maybe one day we could meet in person. I would love to meet all of you in person, what a lovely thought that is for me! Now Tammy, I'll be counting the days until the mailman delivers my pckg., and mine to you is on the way shortly also. I also had to wait to develop some film! I would be so honoured if all the moms here would consider sending me pics of their child, and themselves, I have a shelf with children on it already who have gone to Heaven, I would love to add all of your's to it! Tammy, you're an inspiration to all of us, you've been extraordinarily blessed with a keen insight into how we feel, and I know I speak for everyone when I say how special we all think you are! Much love and prayers to you and your family, and I ask Our Heavenly Father to watch over all of you, tell Kaitlyn that I'm very excited to be getting her pictures!
Luv Sandy

Dear Sandy:
I have been blessed with a night to myself! My parents called earlier and missed the kids so much that they wanted them to spend the night! That does not happen very often at all. My husband does not get done working until about 1 am so I am alone in this house and all is quiet. I am going to take this time and visit all of the memorial sites of the people that I love and hold dear to my heart.
Thank you again for being you and giving us all the love and prayers that we so need.
Love always,
Tammy Cooper
jaycee5@bellsouth.net

I feel so blessed to have found this site......this is my first pray request. I lost my sweet son Keith 3 years ago and things are just terrible with my husband and i of 35 years.....he is so angry and bitter and is shuting me out of his life. We have a 19 year old son and he hasnt been to Church, youth groups, since his brother got killed. He isnt going anywhere since he lost his brother and really his Dad too. He needs pray to get back to God and he also smokes pot.....which he needs prays for too. I am feeling so empty and lost and hopeless right now and I need the power of pray. Thank you everyone and blessing to each of you.
Rose