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Shane Whalen
This Prayer Circle is Dedicated to my son Shane Whalen Who Passed Away On March 15, 1999 at the Age of 24, & All Other Children

Start a prayer circle for bereaved parents who have lost a child.

There are many of us out there who have lost a child, and it is devastating. It changes the outlook on life, plunges you into a depression, and you think that the feelings and thoughts you have nobody else could possibly relate to. I think a prayer circle for bereaved parents would only benefit us and help us on our journey of grief. This Circle is one of Love, where a Grieving Parent can safely come to for Prayers, and to talk about their feelings.

Shaner -10/14/2000
send to a friend

Read Prayers.

4/18/2002 17:11

Dear LOVE2U (Miss Verna):
Thank you for your kind words. I feel exactly the same toward you and your posts. I am doing pretty well. As I said before, sometimes I still feel guilty because I think that I should be so much more upset. But, maybe I just am not at that stage yet. I don't know. I wasn't expecting this to happen (wasn't trying to get pregnant), so maybe that's why. Either way, this is all in the Lord's Hands now and I trust Him completely to make my body and life whole again.
Thank you again for your prayers for me and my family. You and yours are always in mine as well.
Love always,
Tammy Cooper

4/19/2002 08:21

Heavenly Father, I ask today that you bring peace into the hearts and minds of hurting moms who've lost their children, not only on these pages, but the world over, that they may come to know that You are our Rock and Love during the most painful of times during all our lives. Bless them all, dear Father, and pour your graces upon them all, I ask this through your Son, Our Lord, Amen.
Luv Sandy

4/19/2002 08:44

Dear Sandy(Shaner),
What a heartfelt letter you wrote to dearest Barb! I could feel the pain in her heart as she let it out. We all know too well what she feels for her precious daughter. The pain is great and I think it is greater the longer they've been gone from us. I cried as you wrote about us carrying our children for nine months under our heart and then forever in our hearts. I didn't realize that I was stuffing my feelings in here lately until I read that precious statement. I haven't cried like that for awhile.
I want to thank you for adding to Joe's memorial. It means so much to me that others care about what goes on with us. No one else knows the pain we feel like we each do. I also want you to know that the Lord so graciously gave me a Dove that very night after you and Barb posted there. We live out in the country and I was out planting perennials and I heard a dove making his sound, like he's in mourning! Anyway, I looked around and found him perched on top of the telephone and electric pole near our front yard. It just meant so much to me because he spent alot of time up there last year too. I know it is the same Dove! I do see alot of doves but this was more special because of the sound he was making and where he was at. Thank you so much for your prayers!
Dear Lord I ask you to keep Sandy close to you and continue to heal her broken heart of her loss of her precious Shane. Bless her now and her family. God Bless you Sandy!
Love, Yvonne<><

4/19/2002 09:09

Dear Barb(Eudora), Oh Barb, I am so sorry for the pain you are feeling so much right now. As I told Sandy, I believe the longer our children are gone the more pain we feel because we miss them so. It's not like it was in the beginning, it's a learning how to live without their presence and the grief we feel. I know it hurts. But it does help to talk to someone who knows our pain. Most people do not know, try as hard as they can to understand they can only imagine. And only imagining doesn't even come close! I remember, I was there at one time. And really our relationship to our child was unique to us alone and no one can take that away from you and so they wouldn't understand how it is for us for they didn't know our child like we did. You are in my prayers Barb. Dear Father God, I ask for You to give Barb that peace that passes all understanding and wrap your arms around her so that she feels your love so much right now in her deepest grief. I thank you for the love that Barb has in her heart for others that are going through the same kind of pain. In Jesus Name, Amen.
I also want to thank you for posting at Joe's memorial, that was so sweet of you and for the prayers. As I told Sandy, the Lord did give me a Dove that same night. How precious is our Savior! I also wanted to let you know that I thought of you a few days ago as I was coming out of a store. I saw a penny on the ground in the parking lot and immediately thought of you and Carol! And said a prayer! Neat reminders! The Lord makes us ever so mindful of what others are feeling I think! that must of been the reason I saw that penny to pray for you just then! I hope you have a better day today, Barb, and God Bless you always! I love you.
Love, Yvonne<><

4/19/2002 09:27

Dear Tammy, Thank you for taking the time to respond to mine and everyone else's posts! That is so thoughtful of you to think of everyone. God Bless you! I hope you and your husband are doing better. Thank you also for keeping my family in your prayers. It is answer to prayer that our children are doing great with their pregnancies. It seems that things can go wrong with that alot of the time these days. If my daughter has a boy she will name him after Joseph. They will find out around the 1st of June. At least the middle name will be Joseph. What an honor, she doesn't want to take the first name away from her brothers if they ever have a boy. But I told her what if they never have a boy? My son and his wife are expecting a little girl named Zoe! They are having another ultrasound done today to make absolutely sure because there was a question mark by it last time. We are so excited about this all happening in our lives. It is just as exciting as having your own. Anyway, you are so sweet Tammy to remember everyone in your pryaers and letters! Thank you and God Bless you always! Dear Lord, I ask You to keep Tammy close to you as she does what you would have her do in her life especially in ministering to all of us here at this loving prayer circle. Keep her and her family in your loving care now and always. In Jesus Name, Amen. God Bless you Tammy!
Love, Yvonne<><

4/19/2002 12:18

Hello Yvonne, it's so nice to see you posting again, I love your posts! You yourself always pray for others and reach out in your own pain to try and make other's feel better. As I said once before, you're a treasure here at the Circle! Thank you for your kind words about my post to Barb (eudora), you could also feel her pain too, in her post. I agree wholeheartedly, the longer time goes on, the more we miss our beloved children. It just seems sometimes to be getting harder as more time slips away. I think it's the realization that it's final, and they're not coming back, we'll never see them walk through the door again, or hear their voices, but I know with all my heart that one day we will see them again, so I hold onto that with all my heart, especially when I'm having a bad day myself. I didn't intend to make you sad, but perhaps as you say, you needed to have a good cry and let some of your pain out too. We all need to do that, although others don't understand. I was honoured to write something at Joe's Memorial Site, I care deeply how my beloved moms who post here feel, and I know they care for me. This Circle is truly blessed with God's love, all of us care so much for each other! OH, I'm so thrilled for you that you saw 'your' dove!! Our prayers were answered, isn't God so loving to us! I know that dove was once again meant for you, sent with lots of love from Heaven! Your cherished Joe is once again looking after his much loved mom! I pray when you're out in your garden that you continue to see your 'special' dove, that bring such love and comfort to you!
I read your posts to Barb and Tammy, and I'm so happy that the pregnancies are going so well, and what an honour to Joseph, that his name will continue to live on in one of his nephews! He must surely be smiling in Heaven, and I know that it must make you feel so good too! Thank you for your lovely prayer for me, Yvonne, I truly appreciate it, and need it, you too are such a loving person! May Our Lord give you love and peace today in your heart, and may you feel Joseph's love,oh so strong, for his beloved mom, I know that the Lord is beside you, and blessing you in your own grief. God bless you and yours Yvonne, and much love to you,
Luv Sandy

4/19/2002 17:19

Dear Sandy,I truly appreciated your post to me.I could just feel the love from you.You are such a wonderful person.I am honored to call you my friend.I wish we did live closer.It would be nice to have a hug and a good cry together.But even tho we are miles apart we can surely be there for each other.You are so right a part of does go with our children.I don't feel complete anymore and there is a hole in my heart.I loved that paragraph.I think it says it for all of us.It is so true.Sandy,i am really trying to get my self together.But we all move at our own pace.I want you to know that my prayers are also with you and your family.You touch my heart.I love you.Barb

4/19/2002 17:23

Hi Tammy,You are such a sweetheart.I thank you for all your kind words to me.You are truly sent from God to comfort us here at this circle.And i am also proud to know you.Even tho all of us here need comfort and kind words,i sure want you to know that i am here for you if you need me.You are precious.Love,Barb

4/19/2002 17:34

Dear Yvonne,I was so glad to hear from you.Thank you so much for your prayers and your love.It means so much to me.It is so true the longer our children are gone the more we miss them.I kept hearing that the first three years are the worst.Thats just not true.All the years are the worst.Every year without them is hard.It might get bearable but the pain of no longer seeing them,touching them,holding them,i could go on and on but i know you all feel the same way.But we will see them again one day.And you are so welcome,i was honored to post at Josephs memorial.It is so precious to honor our children.You and your family are in my prayers.Love,Barb

4/19/2002 19:51

Hi Barb, I'm honoured to call you 'friend' too! We all have each other to talk about the loss of our precious child and the terrible grief that invades every aspect of our lives. No, our hearts and lives will never fully be complete again, how could they, a big part goes when our child went too. Yes, the third year is the hardest, but truthfully, you never fully get over losing one of your children, it stays with you forever. We just, in time, have to learn how to live with it, and it's unique to each of us, we all do grieve at our own pace.
I'm happy that the paragraph touched your heart, Barb, it certainly made a great deal of sense to me, we have to tell our story, in order to let some of the pain out, and honour the life of our child. You touch my heart too, Barb, and you know by now that you're always in my prayers. Have a peace-filled evening. And know that Carol is watching over her much loved mom. I pray that you find another penny!
Luv Sandy

4/20/2002 18:06

Hi Sandy,Just thought i would check in.I am so tired.I worked in the house all day and my husband worked in the yard.But it is a good tired.I like to keep busy,so i am always finding something to do.But i do like to get somewhere quiet and read.That is my favorite thing to do.I was glad to hear from you.Its always comforting to know someone cares for you.Yes i know my Carol is watching over me,that gives me such peace even tho i am hurting.And your sweet Shane is watching over his wonderful Mom,too.Sandy,i wanted to ask you something.I read in our newspaper down here that Beliefnet is going bankrupt.I pray they don't leave us.We all need this circle.I just read that and i didn't know how that worked.I mean can't they file but still stay on the internet?Well i better go.Have a blessed Sunday and everyday.I love you lots.Barb

4/21/2002 09:46

Hi Barb, I'm happy that you did check in, it's always so nice to hear from you! It sounds like you had a 'good' day yesterday, and I'm very happy for you! Sometimes keeping ourselves busy helps us to forget about the pain of our loss, even if it's just for a while.
Yes, we're so fortunate, we have our beautiful children watching over us now, and they always will!
Yes, unfortunately Beliefnet is in financial trouble, that's why on the front page they asked if people who are members would agree to pay a small monthly fee to use their services. I clicked yes, but when I saw the results, the majority of people said no, they would not. If Beliefnet doesn't get more money either from it's members or from Advertising revenues, then it would have to fold, the costs to keep this site going must be enormous. Let's all pray and do our part, this site helps so many people out, not just this Circle, but so many others, I'd definitely be very sad if it folded. So I ask for the prayers of all for Beliefnet, that they find the revenue they need, and that they continue to provide us with such a wonderful site.
You have a blessed Sunday too, Barb, and much love back to you!
Luv Sandy

4/22/2002 13:02

Dear God,

Sometimes, I don't even know how to begin to thank You for being my shelter during the many storms I have had to bear in this life. :) Even now, after all the grief and pain I have known, Father, I can still feel You near me,holding me up, giving me the strength to go on and do Your will in spite of my own weaknesses. :) Lord, I just want to thank You for taking the time to reveal Yourself to me in ways that I had no choice but to know that it was You, and You alone, speaking to me; giving me the wisdom as well as the ability to recognize You, every time You came to me in the form of a friend or love one. God, I know I don't deserve all the blessings that you send my way each and every minute of the day! Father, I just want to thank you for allowing me to give back to others, just some of the love and compassion that You have given so freely to me, and to others. For I know that without You, Father, we would never find the courage to move on, in spite of our losses. Lord, I thank You for sending Your Son, Jesus, to die for us, so that we might have the right to live forever in heaven with You, and our children someday! Until then, Lord, help us to concentrate on doing Your will; in Jesus' name I pray, Amen!

4/22/2002 13:16

Hello Everyone! :) Lord knows I have missed all of you so much! Thank you all for praying for me. I have been keeping you in my prayers,each and every day. I have been trying to take good care of myself with the help of the Lord. I have read back post and also those at Diane's memorial. Thank each of you so much for your thoughtfulness and love kindness. I will try to figure out where I stopped posting and play catch up this week! :) My son-in-law is going to try to come over this evening or sometime tonight to add memory to my computer. :) Please pray that I will stay off line until he does! :) According to him, I could lose important files if I'm not careful. Just know that I love and miss all of you and I will be posting to each of you shortly! God's love, peace, and even some joy to each and everyone!

4/22/2002 13:18

Hello Verna, nice to see you posting, your company must be gone, and now you have some free time, if we ever have free time, :)! The wonderful prayer you posted could be said and applied to us all, all of us are so thankful that we have God to continually send us His blessings, even though sometimes we think we don't deserve them. May all the wonderful moms who post on these pages live with the knowledge that they will see their children one day, and may peace and contentment be in their hearts today.
Luv Sandy

4/22/2002 13:24

Hi Sandy! ~ I have been keeping you in my prayers. I pray that all is well with you and that you are having a wonderful and blessed day. :) God's love to you for all the good that you do on a daily basis. My house guest left early Sunday morning, and I got to rest a bit during the afternoon. I am making every effort to take better care of my health. No more staying up all night! :) God bless you, Sandy, and it feels so good to be back. :)

4/22/2002 16:11

Dear Eudora ~ (Barb),

Thank you so much for your kind words. You must know how much I have missed being able to post to you often; but I have been praying for you, that God will continue providing you with precious moments of peace, each and every day. As I said in an earlier post to one of the newly bereaved moms; even though it's been over 5 years since I lost my precious Diane, there are still times when I miss her so very much. But, I always feel such healing when I come to this circle and express just how I feel. Just knowing that others are praying for me gives me a reason to regroup and find the strength to get through another day. :)

4/22/2002 16:27

Barb, Part 2 is coming up "IF" I can get the rest of it to copy and paste before someone else posts. :)

4/22/2002 16:29

You know, Barb, like Sandy, I can sense when you are having a valley day. :) And, like Sandy often reminds us, that is the time to come and talk about how you feel. The wonderful thing about our circle is -- you know that it is a safe place to express exactly how you feel. No one will criticize or judge you because we understand all too well how important it is to let go of some of the grief that tends to build up from time to time. That's something we have no control over! So, when it happens to you, Barb, please come here and say what you feel! God knows, how heavy our cross can get sometimes; and so do the other moms who have also lost their precious children. One of the reasons I don't mind telling -- in detail how difficult it was for me to deal with the grief I felt during those first few years -- when friends, and sometimes even family members, seemed to close down, or change the subject, whenever I would bring my Diane's name up, is because I know how important it is to share this with other moms, so that they will know that; Yes, there are other moms how have been made to feel this way! :)

Part 3 will follow :)

4/22/2002 16:33

Part 3
It finally reached a point where I started staying to myself; hoping that I could shut them out; just as they were shutting the memory of my child out! It was such a painful time for me; and I felt so all alone! Over time, and with the help of the Lord, and much research, on the subject, I learned how to deal with this kind of behavior. It's like Sandy said, they really don't know how to interact with us! And, unless God reveals it to them, there is no way they can truly understand. :) Some people are just born to be compassionate towards others whom they know are hurting; therefore, they seem to understand what it must be like for us; but as you and the rest of us know, those are rare and hard to find. Our Tammy is that kind of person for all of us! :) Talk about a blessing! :) So, in addition to our grief, is having to learn that others really don't understand what it's really like for us moms. Like I have shared before, when my friend and coworker's son was killed tragically, I thought I understood. I mean, I cried so much over her loss (once I made it to my car), I actually had to sit there (in the parking lot after the funeral) for a long time and get my emotions in check so that I could drive myself home safely. :) And even when she came back to work, I still had difficulty holding back the tears when I would come in contact with her; which was often since our classrooms were right next door to each other, :) I can honestly say that she seemed to be able to handle her loss much better than I! :) She loss her son back in 1993. It was not until I lost my Diane in 1996, that I truly understood what it had to be like for her! :) That's what makes our prayer circle so extra special! :) There is so much love and compassion on these pages, in spite of the grief that we carry in our hearts daily! And, we always know that so many other bereaved moms are lifting us up in prayer; even during the time when they can't post as often as they would like to. :) Like you, and I am sure the other moms; I pray that God will bless Beliefnet and allow us to continue praying with and for bereaved parents. God knows I would miss this circle! :) So, let's include Beliefnet and our prayer circle in our prayers! :) Barb, we love you and your Carol, so hang in there, and feel all the love around you! :) God bless you, and here's a ( ((((( BIG HUG ))))) ) ! :)

4/22/2002 16:51

Hi Tammy :) ~ God bless you dear one! You are such a sweetheart; posting to us moms here and also at memorial sites. You are a God send to us and we love you dearly. :) I thought of you often during my down time, and prayed for you and your family. I hope you will always know how much you mean to us. As I said in my post to Eudora, not many people can relate to us in the compassionate way that you do. :) It's easy to tell that God sent you to us. I can only hope and pray that we have touched your life in some small way because you sure have been a blessing to us all. We know that with small ones to take care of, sometimes it will be difficult for you to post to everyone as often as you would like to. Still, we appreciate hearing from you whenever you have the time! :) We know that even when you can't post, you still pray for us. That goes for your sweet little daughter as well. :) I pray that God will continue to bless you and your little family, and please take good care of yourself. We love you and appreciate the love you have shown to all the bereaved moms! :)

4/22/2002 18:04

Hi Sandy,I do pray that Beliefnet does not leave us.If everyone would pay just a small amount each month,maybe that would keep it going.There are so many subscribers it might just be the answer.Because i would miss you and this circle and all the others so very much.I finally found a place to come that feels like home.You are in my prayers,dear one.Love,Barb

4/22/2002 18:22

Dear Verna,I am so glad to hear from you.I missed you a lot.What a beautiful prayer.I do believe it pertains to all of us.Thank you so much for your understanding and for caring for me.That is why i come here.I need this circle.And i know with all my heart it was inspired by our Lord.I thank him so for it.I read your post to me and Verna it is almost exactly how i felt and still feel.I know we are suppose to try to understand how some people think or what makes them behave the way they do.But i just havent gotten there yet.I am praying and working on it tho.I like to think if i had not went through the loss of a child i would have been like Tammy because i have always cared about others and have felt their pain.But thats what makes the world go around,we are all different.I don't know what i will do if i lose all my special friends here.This is a place of compassion and love.We are all here for each other.I love you to Verna and your sweet Diane.Thanks for that big hug.I felt it all the way down here in Florida.God bless you and you are in my prayers.Barb

4/22/2002 19:27

Hello my wonderful mom friends! I'm asking prayers from you for Tammy, her family and especially her grandmother, who had a medical procedure done this afternoon. That's why Tammy hasn't been able to post, she and her family have a lot ont their plates right now. I know that you all love Tammy as much as I do, so let's pray for her, her family and her grandmother, she has surely given so much to us! I pray for spiritual and physical strength for Tammy and her family right now, and that Tammy's grandmother will come to accept living with a family member. Tammy is so dear to all of us, the very least all of us can do for her is to pray for the problems in her family right now. Tammy is another shining jewel in the crown that sits upon this Circle. Heavenly Father, watch over Tammy, her family and especially her grandmother right now, let them feel your abundant love for all of them, and guide them in the proper decisions for all concerned, I ask this through Our Lord, Amen.
Luv Sandy

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