Prayer Circles

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Yes, I too was worried about my husband's method of grieving. :) I had no idea how badly he was hurting until the morning we were to go identify our daughter's body. When I asked him if he was ready to go, he screamed, "No! ...I just can't do it!" (Hitting our glass dining room table with his fist! ) His violent reaction almost scared me to death! :) Had it not been for my other daughter, who come back home for the funeral, I would have had to go alone! My husband also became a workaholic, and would not talk about or express his grief, like I did. As I shared with the other moms; I was expecting support which he could not give. But, in time, I learned that he was hurting too! and he had to deal with his grief in his own way and in his own time! Like your other son, my other daughter, Cheryl, talks about her big sister all the time. She has moved back here now and I thank God for her love and support. Together, we recall such fond memories that we shared with my Diane in days gone by! Sometimes (now that much time has passed), my husband will join in the conversation, or sit quietly and smile as we go on and on. :) Then, when he leaves the room, my daughter and I look at each other and smile. :) Sometimes, Cheryl will whisper, "Mama, daddy is finally coming around!" And I usually will say something like, "It's about time!" But then, I say, seriously, "Thank You, Jesus!" Then, playfully I add, "Whew!" :) And, with that sigh, we both laugh and hug each other, as Cheryl adds, "Mama, will you ever grow up?" :) But, like you, it's then, that we know that her daddy is going to be O.K.! :) In the words of an old spiritual, "Even after all I've been through, still I find joy!" :) That's how I feel at the moment. :) Tomorrow could be a down in the valley day. Either way, I know it will be O.K. to say so here! And, so can you and all the other moms who post here. :)

So, please believe in your heart, that the day will come when you will discover that you have reached a stage in your grieving process where you begin to learn how to manage your heartfelt grief on a day to day basis. As Sandy reminds us; one day you may have a down in the valley day, and the next, a hilltop day! The good thing about this prayer circle is; it's a safe place where you can come and express exactly how you are feeling and you will know that it's safe to do so! :) Always remember that grieving the loss of your precious Michael is an ongoing process which cannot be rushed. An, always remember that both God, and your precious guardian angel, Michael, are with you in spirit; always! :)

What a sweet and thoughtful tribute your other son pays to his brother! You both must be so very proud of him graduating in May. :) I pray that God will fill your hearts with peace and joy on his graduation day, as well as in the days ahead! :)

Thank you for sharing, and for allowing me to share! :) Thanks also for your prayers. I will do my best to follow my doctor's orders. :)
Love,
Verna

Hi Dovesfromheaven,You are a very busy lady and it seems you will be for awhile.Getting things ready for a wedding is a fun but stressful event.I know it will be a bittersweet time for you without your precious Joseph.But he will be there in spirit,happy for his loving family.I am so glad you are closer with your other kids.I know what you mean about loving them so much.That is the way i feel about my son Jimmy.My heart just swells when i think of him.I only had two children and he may be moving across country.I'm not sure yet but i will miss him so much.Oh and congratulations on becoming a new grandma.That is so precious.I will be praying for you and thinking of you.Love,Barb

Dear Deborahpoo,I am so sorry for the loss of your precious son,Michael.I know how much your heart is broken.I will be praying for God to give you comfort in the days to come.He will be there for you and all of us here will be also.We care so much.Congratulations on your other sons graduation.That is a special time in a young ones life.You have every right to be so proud.And Michael will be watching and also proud of his brother.Because his spirit and love will never leave you all.He will always be a part of you.Please know that you will be prayed for and comforted at this circle.Love,Barb

Hi Sandy,i pray everything is going well for you.Just wanted to say hi and you are always in my prayers.My student is back in school.He is hurting but we knew that he would be.He seems to be doing okay.Please keep him in your prayers.Take care and God bless.Love,Barb

Hi Verna,i am glad you are doing better.And glad you are listening to your doctor.Because when you feel bad you don't post and i miss you.Your give such comfort to us all.I like coming to this circle and feeling the love and caring on these pages.Love Ya Lots,Barb

Hi Barb, (eudora), you're such a sweetie, always asking about everyone, seeing how they're doing! I just love you, you're such a kind, warm, caring person. I'm doing OK, living one day at a time, never thinking too far into the future, I find it easier that way. You know it goes without saying that you're always in my prayers too, everyone at this Circle is! Actually, Barb, it may be my imagination, but you sound a little down yourself, are you OK? You know you can talk here, we're all here for each other, that's what this Circle is about! I'm happy to hear that the student is back in school, but his little life is forever changed, losing his father, God love him. It's so very hard on kids when they lose one of their parents, they don't really know how to cope or grieve.
My most heartfelt prayers are with him, May Almighty God keep this precious child of His under His wing.
Luv Sandy

this very instant in downey, california, 10:00pm tuesday,april 16th a 7 year old was taken to the hospital.he was just hit by a car and thrown 100 feet.only jesus knows his fate.please everyone pray for a miracle this instant for him and his family,may the Lord Jesus Christ be with him and heal him and let him live!!!In Christ ,let us pray.Amen.

DEAR LOVE2U,
THANK YOU FOR YOUR PRAYERS. I JUST FOUND THIS SITE ON SATURDAY. IT HELPS ME KNOW THAT THIER ARE OTHER PARENTS FEELING THE SAME PAIN I AM AND WE CAN COME HERE AND LET OUR FEELINGS OUT AND NO ONE WILL LOOK AT YOU FUNNY. WITH THE WARM WEATHER COMING AND THE SMELL OF THE FRESH AIR SOME DAYS IT'S A LITTLE HARD FOR ME FOR MICHAEL LOVED THE OUTSIDE. I LOOK UP AT THE SKY AND SAY THANK YOU TO HIM FOR THE BEAUTIFUL DAY AND SHINING ON ME.

DEAR FATHER, I ASK FOR YOU TO GIVE US THE STRENGHT, COMPORT, AND PEACE. AND SOME HOW SHOW A SIGN THAT THEIR CHILD IS GAURDIAN ANGEL WATCHING OVER THEM. THANK YOU, FATHER IN JESUS NAME. AMEN.

DEAR SHANER,
I'M SO HAPPY THAT I FOUND THIS SITE ON SATURDAY. I HAVE BEEN ABLE TO LET SOME FEELINGS OUT BEING ABLE TO READ THAT I'M NOT THE ONLY MOM WHO HAS LOST A CHILD. I CAN COME AND FINALLY TALK TO OTHER MOMS OR DADS ON THE PAIN WE ARE ALL FEELING. I FEEL LIKE I'M UPSETTING MY FAMILY WHEN I TALK ABOUT MY SON MICHAEL. WE HAVE NEVER HAD A TRAGIDY LIKE THIS IN OUR FAMILY SO IT'S REALLY HARD FOR EVERY ONE. I THINK MORE ME THAN ANY ONE ELSE. EVERY ONE CHANGES THE SUBJECT IF MICHAEL'S NAME IS MENTIONED FOR TO MANY TIMES. I BRING HIM UP ALL THE TIME. HE WAS SUCH A KIND HEARTED PERSON. WHEN EVER MICHAEL AND I WOULD GO ANY WHERE PEOPLE WOULD THINK WE WHERE BROTHER AND SISTER. WE WOULD LAUGH AND SAY ARE YOU KINDING THATS MY MOM. HE WAS A SWEET YOUNG MAN AND I MISS HIM SO. NOW I GET TO PICK ON HIS BROTHER WHO IS TALLER THAN ME :-) HIS 19TH BIRTHDAY IS COMING UP NEXT MONTH TOO. SO I HAVE TO DO ALOT BEFORE GRADUATION ON MAY 17TH. HE HAS A GIRL FRIEND AND SHE IS GRADUATING WITH HER. SO MY HUSBAND AND I ARE GOING TO BE REAL BUSY WITH THIS.

DEAR FATHER, PLEASE GIVE ME THE STRENGHT TO MAKE IT THROUGH ANOTHER DAY AND COMPORT AND PEACE TO ALL WHO ARE IN PAIN FROM THE LOSS OF A LOVED ONE. THANK YOU FATHER. AMEN.

DEAR EUDORA,

THANK YOU FOR THE COMPORT. I WILL NEED IT. SO MANY HAPPY THINGS ARE COMING AND KNOWING MICHAEL IS WITH US IN SPIRIT ONLY IT HURTS. ALSO KNOWING THAT MICHAEL SHOULD OF GRADUATED BEFORE HIS BROTHER HURTS TOO. BUT I WILL MAKE THROUGH THESE LITTLE BUMPS COMING ALONG MY PATH. WITH THE SCHOOL I WORK FOR BEING ON VACATION THIS WEEK HAS MADE IT A LITTLE HARDER. BUT LETTING MY FEELING OUT THROUGH THIS SITE HAS HELPED ME. THANK YOU FOR LISTENING EVERY ONE :-)

Hello brandi_maria, I just read your posting this morning about the little boy, and immediately prayed for his health and his parents, I pray that he's alright, in hospital, and peace and comfort for his family. God bless you for posting here, our prayers are with him and his family, please let us know how he's doing,
Luv Sandy

Hi deborapoo, I'm so happy that you found the site also, and that it's brought you some comfort, reading all the postings, and seeing that you're not alone in your grief and pain.
What you wrote about, people changing the subject, not wanting to talk about your Michael, is one of the biggest hurts that we have to deal with when it comes to other people. It makes other people feel uncomfortable, and also they think that if they bring up your child's name, it will cause more pain for you, so sometimes that's the reason they do what they do. We need to talk about our child that we've lost, and here at this Circle, you can do just that, it's a safe haven here to let out your feelings, and you'll only find love, understanding and compassion. So please post here anytime you feel like it, we all care! That's so nice to have your other son graduating, it'll help keep your mind busy on a very special day for your son, and for you and your husband. God bless you, and thank you for your prayers, you and your husband are in our's,
Luv Sandy

Dear Jesus,
I commit the lives of these children in your hands.May their memories bring laughter rather than tears to their parents.Grant their parents,courage and strength to face every day knowing that very soon we will see them again.

Hello uphex, thank you for your kind prayer, in our grief, may we remember as you so nicely pray, that we do remember the good times, the joy and laughter that we shared. It's so very nice of you to post here, we truly appreciate it!
Luv Sandy

Dear, Lord i pray for srength and courage for all parents who have lost a child and i ask that they refresh there faith in knowing one day they will be with them again in a place of love peace and eternal joy Amen

Hello freetolive, I love your username!
Thank you so much for taking the time to think about us and offer up such a lovely prayer. Those who haven't lost children, but take a moment to post a prayer here for us all are very precious to us, may God bless you and yours, and keep you safe in His love,
Luv Sandy

Dear Sandy,thank you so much for caring how i feel.You have such a kind heart.I try so hard to be there for others because i do care so much.It is funny how some people that don't really know you can read between the lines.But that is you,Sandy.So sweet and caring.You surely have a heart for people.I can hardly write for crying.I feel so empty inside.I just hurt so much.I try so hard to deal with it,i know it has been a long time but to me it is like yesterday.I don't know what to do.I am having a real hard time handling the way i feel inside.I can't even explain it.Everything reminds me of Carol.I have things through my house that she gave me and i put things from her house that were special to her here also.I know i am probably not making much sense.I have been so depressed lately.I come here to this circle everyday because my heart is so full for all of us who have lost our precious children.Sandy like i said i just don't know how to explain the way i feel.You probably know i am sure because you have been there.I pray to God to help me.What breaks my heart the most is no one here(at home) brings her up.I have to and then its like,say what you want and go to the next subject.Please i am not saying my family and friends are cruel,they aren't.I guess being Carols Mom i want to talk and maybe it makes them uncomfortable.I know they loved her but i know no one loved her like i did and still do.Part of me is gone and i will never be the same.Thanks for listening to me,Sandy.I love you so much for all your love and compassion.You are one in a million.I wish i could take away everyones pain but i can't.We have to trust in our Savior.Our loving Father.If i didn't have him holding my hand i could not survive.God bless you Sandy.Keep me in your prayers as i will you and everyone on these pages.I love you all.Love,Barb

Dear eudora (Miss Barb):
Thank you for the prayers for Kessa Hawkins and her family. As I said before, I do not know her or her family, I am just such a believer in the power of prayer that I know that we can help her friends and family by "storming Heaven with our prayers" as Sandy says. I just want to receive that update that says that she is back to being the little girl that she deserves to be. Laughing, playing, and rejoicing in the Lord's work. I know that we will get that update..... I just feel it in my bones.
I will continue to pray for John and his family. I know that the Lord will place his Hand upon his family.
Thank you for being such a wonderful friend! Your posts of inspiration toward me and my family are so much appreciated. You are my inspiration toward Good in this world!
Love always,
Tammy Cooper
jaycee5@bellsouth.net

Dear LOVE2U (Miss Verna):
I have some catching up to do and I know that you have posted since this but I want you to know that I got a great laugh from your doctor story. I still hope that you are following her orders, because you most definately need to, but the scenario was great. I needed that laugh. Take all of the time that you need Verna. We miss you and love you, but your health is most important. I pray that the Lord places His hand upon your body and gives you the rest and healing that it needs.
I love you for the wonderful comfort and advice that you give me and others who post at this magnificent site.
Love always,
Tammy Cooper
jaycee5@bellsouth.net

Hello our dearest Barb, I could sense that you just weren't yourself in your last post, and I felt that you were having a bad day. I am SO happy that you posted and let out what was troubling your heart so heavily. It seems to be the same with a lot of moms who've lost their beloved children, only we seem to want to talk about them, others do very little, and it hurts us! As if we don't have enough hurt in our lives already. I know your family aren't cruel, nobody really is, they just don't understand how important it is for us to talk about our child that we've lost. Sometimes they think that it'll cause us more pain, or pain themselves, if they continue on with the subject of our child that's passed. I'm so sorry Barb, my heart is aching for you, that you feel so empty inside, and are hurting so badly. You need someone to put their arms around you and let you talk and let you cry. I wish we lived closer, we'd hug and talk and cry together. I know how hard you try to carry on, and I know how difficult it is, but I also know that everybody at this Circle thinks you're a special person also, posting so lovingly to others, all the while typing through your own tears. Part of you is gone, Barb, a big part of ourselves go with our children when they die, and slowly we have to try and rebuild a new life, all the while dealing with the pain and grief that is still inside all of us.
You're making perfect sense, Barb, I know how you feel, it's just very hard to put into words our deep emotions.
Moms have a very special relationship with their children, it's different from dads, dads love their children ever so much too, but we moms carry them under our hearts for 9 months, and then carry them in our hearts forever!
Dads just have a different way of grieving for their children, they don't verbalize their feelings like we moms do. Our lives are now split into two, as I've said before, the one we lived with our family whole, with our beloved child, and now the one without. In time we learn how to live with the grief, but we'll never, ever, forget. There's always going to be a hole in our hearts. I read an interesting paragraph from a book today, and I'm going to type it here, it sure fits in for us, " I am the only one who can tell my story - the story of my relationship with my beloved child, the story of my beloved child's death, and all that goes with it. In my mind, I hold the conversations the sights, the sounds, the details surrounding my child's death. It is all right to tell my story that wells up inside me. I don't need to hold it in and press it down. I can tell it and tell it until I no longer need to. Each time I tell my story, I remove one tiny bit of pain from inside me. I help to ease my wound. By Muriel Ruykeyer.
That little paragraph is so very true!
So you come here everyday Barb, and tell your story, and we'll all listen, and little by little, your pain will be let out, and in time, you'll start to feel a little better. I love you too, and you're always in my prayers, I pray for peace for you, and that you feel the love between you and Carol, which is so comforting. We're forever going to miss our children Barb, but together we can help each other deal with the pain. And that's what you do for others too, at this Circle, God love you. Keep holding onto Our Father's Hand, and He'll carry you through all the rough spots. And we'll do what we can here, I pray with all my heart that tomorrow is a better day for you, but if not, you post back here, if we don't hear from you we get worried. Lots of love to you, and God's blessings upon you abundantly!
Luv Sandy

Dear tggerme:
Thank you for posting your prayer request here. We all will most certainly pray for this most precious child and its family. How tragic to lose such a gift from God. I pray that the family has a strong faith and support from such friends and family as yourself. Lord bless them.
Tammy Cooper
jaycee5@bellsouth.net

Dear dovesfromheaven (Miss Yvonne):
I wish you all of the wonders of Heaven in your endeavors to finish the dresses and all of the other duties to be done for a most beautiful wedding! I know that with your help, it will be so wonderful! I also am happy to hear of the healthy pregnancies of your children. The Lord is watching over them and I thank Him for answering our prayers.
Your family will always be in my thoughts and prayers.
Love always,
Tammy Cooper
jaycee5@bellsouth.net

Dear eudora (Miss Barb):
I read that someone else used the same memorial as you in the paper. I initially would have felt the same as you, but just as you did, that feeling turned into something greater. The Lord is most definately working through you.... He brought you to all of us, and I am most grateful for that. Your posts of love and wisdom mean so much to me and everyone else. You should feel so proud because I know that I am proud of you and so proud to know such a wonderful and giving person!
Love always,
Tammy Cooper
jaycee5@bellsouth.net