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Shane Whalen
This Prayer Circle is Dedicated to my son Shane Whalen Who Passed Away On March 15, 1999 at the Age of 24, & All Other Children

Start a prayer circle for bereaved parents who have lost a child.

There are many of us out there who have lost a child, and it is devastating. It changes the outlook on life, plunges you into a depression, and you think that the feelings and thoughts you have nobody else could possibly relate to. I think a prayer circle for bereaved parents would only benefit us and help us on our journey of grief. This Circle is one of Love, where a Grieving Parent can safely come to for Prayers, and to talk about their feelings.

Shaner -10/14/2000
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Read Prayers.

3/25/2002 09:24

Dear All, It is so wonderful to read all of your posts. I feel the immense pain and grief that each of you feel. It is great to have Tammy to be here to give kind and compassionate words of understanding and praying for each one. There are only a few people that understand what we feel as parents of lost children. It has been my experience with the people in our church, just a handful of precious children of God to offer support and love to our grieving hearts over the last two years of our loss of our sweet son Joseph. Most do not know how to handle us, but I am so grateful to God for the ones that to this day know we are still in deep pain and do find a place in their hearts to comfort us in some way or another. Thank you Tammy for being one of these precious people! You are loved dearly!
Dear Barb, (Eudora) my heart goes out to you for your upcoming anniversary of your precious daughter Carol on April 2nd. You will be in my prayers as well for peace and comfort that only God can give. I know what you mean about the tears. I cried everyday for two years. Two years of tears. And I still do cry but it has lessoned somewhat, I found out that I had been suffering from depression and finally asked for help. It has eased my pain some, but I am still trying to come to grips over Joe's death, I still have a hard time believing it happened. I think that is how it's supposed to be in our grieving. It takes time in accepting their deaths. Accepting it doesn't take the pain from our hearts. It is so hard to know we have to go on without our sweet children. I love your penny story (what a Gift from God!) That is how it is for me with the gifts of the Doves. I still see these from time to time and believe God knows it is what we need in our down times. About three weeks ago when I was sick with the flu, I was at the table just looking outside my dining room doors and their on the mat was a dove just walking around, I never saw one up that close before, usually they fly off if they see you, but he stayed there for awhile and then he flew up to our wood pile we have stacked near the door and he turned and looked toward me and his eyes met mine, it was awesome, I just felt it was God sending him for my comfort that day. The dove has come to mean a great deal to me. I have several of them sitting around our home. thank you Lord for bring comfort to our grieving hearts with these precious gifts from heaven!
Dear Father, I ask your Holy Spirit to comfort Barb's heart over this week and next as the 3rd anniversary of her daughter Carol's death appraoches. Continue to show her how much you love her in her loss. Wrap you loving arms around her Lord and bless her with your comfort and peace. In Jesus name, Amen.
Dear Vic, You have my prayers reaching to heaven for that sweet little girl Kessa in Va. and for her Mom and Dad and the rest of the family. Dear Lord I ask You to bring healing to Kessa and make her body whole and well as before. Give the Doctors wisdom in treating her as best they can. Give peace and comfort to Kessa's parents and I pray that they will draw near to you and each other through this difficult time. In Jesus name, Amen.
Thank you Lord for each member in this circle of prayer and bless all of their gieving hearts. Help us each to deal with our loss in our own time and with Your help we can get through it. Thank You for always being here in our ups and downs in this cross we have to bear. I think of the Ultimate Sacrifice that You gave on that Cross, Dear Jesus, so that we would be able to take up our cross with your help. Thank You for your death and ressurrection of that first Easter. Our hope lies in that You gave everything for us. And You know our pain. I love you Jesus. In Jesus Precious Name, Amen!
God's Blessing on Each One,
Love, Yvonne<><

3/25/2002 15:24

Dear Yvonne, (dovesfromheaven), thank you for your kind, most heartfelt post.
You too, are a blessing to this Circle, reaching out to other moms in your own pain and offering words of comfort. I know how much you still hurt over your Joseph, but I believe with my whole heart that the dove that you experienced up close was God's way of sending you some comfort, reconnecting your spirit with that of your beloved Joseph's! Hearts have a special meaning to me, doves to you, and pennies to eudora. How good God is to us!
Yes, we are truly blessed to have Tammy here at this Circle, she has such a warm, compassionate heart, we all love her dearly for her wonderful spirit and beautiful postings.
It is very hard, when you've lost a child, to find other people who haven't experienced such a loss to fully understand what we go through on a daily basis and how we feel, but to be fair with them, how could they, they haven't been down our road. We are blessed to have some good friends and family members who offer love and support, but most people feel that because you're smiling or laughing, you must be over your grief. Little do they know, it's a lifelong process, learning how to live with your sadness.
Good for you for getting some help to deal with your grief, no, it won't take all of it away, but it makes it more bearable. May God bless you, Yvonne, and I hope you see more doves! May you have some peace in your days ahead,
Luv Sandy

3/25/2002 16:38

Dear Yvonne(dovesfromheaven),thank you so much for your words of comfort and your prayers.You also are a special caring lady that is greatly needed here.In your own pain from losing your sweet precious Joseph you still reach out to others.Yes God does know what we need and i thank him so much for that.Oh,that was so awesome about the dove,for it to look at you and your eyes meet it could only be sent from God to comfort you.How wonderful.God truly is so good to us.I love your dove stories also.I love to hear of the ways our Lord shows himself to us.He is an awesome God.I am so glad you got help to deal with your depression.That took courage.I am so happy for you.I tried to go to support meetings but i couldn't deal with it at the time.I wish i had stuck it out because i know now how much i needed help.I feel so down sometimes and it is also hard for me like it is for you to accept our children are really gone.And i know we all need help whatever way we get it.The pain we feel will always be with us,maybe not that heart wrenching kind that we felt for so long but a dull pain still.Yes we have to learn to live with it but there will always be a deep sadness.I wanted you to know when i read about your prayers for me that the Lord touched me,i cried but it was a peaceful cry.How i love it when i feel his touch.I know he is always here for me but sometimes i can feel it more.Like he wants me to never forget how much he loves me and what he has already brought me through.Like i told Verna it is hard for me to put into words what i am trying to say.I hope you understand.I am glad you are here.We have some special people on this site.God bless you,Yvonne.My prayers are with you also that God gives you peace and comfort.Love,Barb

3/25/2002 20:40

My boss is married to a lady who has a little boy by a previous marriage. Though this little boy is his step son...he is a wonderful father and he treats this little boy like he is his very own. They have been hoping to have another child. A few months ago, his wife was pregnant but she lost the baby. Though they were saddened about it, they were able to get through. However, she still wants to get pregnant again. Please pray for this wonderful family.

3/25/2002 20:47

Hello AngelLightH, I'm sorry to hear about your boss's wife losing the baby, it must have devastated them. We will most definitely pray for them, and that they will be blessed with another child. God bless you for posting here for them,
Luv Sandy

3/26/2002 08:18

Dear Sandy (Shaner), Thank you for your thoughtful words to me. You're so sweet and kind. It's no wonder the Lord used You to start this prayer circle! You are loved! I'm sorry for going on about others not understanding how we feel, but that has been one of the most difficult things I've had to deal with. My own mother lost her oldest son (my 32 year old brother Ted) nearly 30 years ago now to a car accident, just 4 months after my Dad died. I was 19 at the time. And it seemed at times she didn't know what to say to me and of all people I thought she would understand the most. But she always tried to tell me how I should be doing and I should be getting over it and that Joseph wouldn't want me to be sad, I couldn't take it at times. So now I just don't talk about him around my family, but at the same time I know they mean well for me but they just don't know how it really is for us. And maybe it's because it's been so long now for her. That's why I think it's still so important to be able to let it out and to talk about our feelings with all of you wonderful people here on this prayer circle! I feel as though I have found what I've been looking for ever since Joe died. This circle is a place of healing I believe. This is what God is using it for! Thank you Jesus! And thank you Sandy for starting it with the leading of the Lord! And thank you for letting me express just how I feel because I know that every Mother here has gone through the same kind of hurt and deep pain from the tragic deaths of our dearly loved children. There is no other pain like it.
Lord Jesus, I ask you to continue to bless Sandy as she keeps this circle going with your help. I ask you to minister to her aching heart for her son Shane. Thank you for the meaningful heart gift that you so lovingly gave to in her deepest need. You are so good to us grieving Moms and I thank you for loving each one of us as you do. In Jesus name, Amen.
God Bless you Sandy!
Love, Yvonne<><

3/26/2002 10:09

Dear Barb (Eudora), Thank you for your kind words. God is an Awesome God, I don't know where I'd be today if it weren't for His love and compassion for me and for what I've had to endure. I believe it's when we reach out in our pain that we find the healing that we so desparetly need. My husband and I also tried support groups in the beginning and it was at that time it was all so difficult to deal with, but it did help some. I thought I was dealing with it better until last June 1st when our 16 year old niece was killed, also in a car accident, and then our 39 year old nephew died of a lung infection June 22nd. These just set me back that much farther into despare. And then 9/11 happened, it was just too much for me. It wasn't until November that I talked to my dr. about it. As I told Sandy, it truly helps to have a place to come to and be able to be yourself and everyone here understands even though our circumstances are different, just as our child that died is unique to each of the families represented here, because of the relationship that we had with them. I want to be able, with the help of God, to reach out to other grieving mothers and their families. You are doing the same, dearest Barb! God Bless you! I want you to know that what you say is completely understood by all of us. Your words are perfect and we know exactly what you are saying. That's what so awesome about this circle of prayer, we can be ourselves, just the way God made us, perfectly unique! May God continue to bring you comfort for the broken heart that you have of losing your sweet daughter Carol. He loves you and so do I! God Bless you Barb so wonderfully this Easter season!
Love, Yvonne<><

3/26/2002 10:24

Dear AngelLightH,
Thank you for your prayer request for your boss and his wife. It is difficult to lose a baby in misscarriage. I know, I lost 2 many years ago now, and my daughter lost her first baby last August at 10 weeks. She is now pregnant again and doing well, praise God! She is 10 weeks along at this time. It is really beautiful of your boss to love that little boy as his own. They will make great parents together. Dear Lord Jesus, I ask you to bring your comfort and peace to these dear people that want children. Comfort their broken hearts of their loss of their little baby. Please allow them to have another. Bless them Lord and Bless AngelLightH for having such a caring heart for them. In Jesus Name, Amen.
God's Blessing on you AngelLightH!
Love, Yvonne<><

3/26/2002 13:34

Dearest Yvonne, thank you for your very kind words to me, I'm so happy also that Our Heavenly Father has used me to start this Circle. You don't ever have to apologize, Yvonne, here at this Circle you can say whatever is on your heart and mind, and know that your feelings will be honoured, loved and understood. People, unfortunately, don't realize how devastating it is to lose a beloved child. Perhaps your mom is worried about you, and that's why she's reacting in that way. She naturally doesn't want to see her daughter so sad. It's the number one misunderstanding when someone loses a child, not only do we go through the terrible pain of our loss, then we have the added pain of people who don't acknowledge our loss, or change the subject when we even mention our child's name. I know, it's happened many times to me, and I know it's happened many times to others also. Your beloved Joe will always be remembered on these pages, this Circle is a safe haven to talk openly about how we feel. We all must progress in our grief in our own time, not in what other's expect or want from us. Only we know how we feel. Losing a beloved child is very different from other losses, it is a parent's worst nightmare. And it has to be handled differently. Talking about your feelings, your pain over losing your precious Joe is a step in the healing process, however long it takes. We have to talk about our children that we've lost! And here, among other moms and other special people who post here, we can do that, knowing that everybody is praying for you, and honouring your feelings. May God bless you also, Yvonne, reaching out to others, in your own pain, I find it helps to give back, from the many blessings that Our Lord gives us to deal with our loss. So we ultimately praise and honour Him when we post here, for as I've said before, He's so very good to us grieving moms!
You're a treasured member of this loving Circle, Yvonne, and may Jesus continue to bless you as you travel along on your Journey. I pray once again that you see 'your' dove again!
Luv Sandy

3/27/2002 01:58

Dear vik~I was so sorry to read about the little 5 year old girl. Please know that I will keep the little girl and her family in my heartfelt prayers. And please know that she will be prayed for here.
Heavenly Father:~Tonight, I pray for a 5 year old Woodstock, Va. girl who was run over by her mothers truck. Father, please wrap your loving arms around this child! Comfort her mother and the rest of her family and friends. Let them know that many are praying for the healing of this child. Thank you, Father, for hearing my heartfelt prayer. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen

3/27/2002 02:48

Dear Eudora~(Barb)Dovesfromheaven~(Yvonne)couldn't have said it better! ) I always understand as well as look forward to your posts. Like you, I sometimes feel that I'm not good at expressing myself; especially in a few words! :) But, I am learning to not let it bother me, and just go on and say what the Lord places on my heart to say. I have started to believe that if what I say is good enough for God, then it's good enough for me, and those that I love, and care enough to reach out to!:) So, please don't worry about how you express your thoughts, because I can feel the love that's in each of your post, and I am sure that the other moms feel it also! So know in your heart that I love and appreciate you and every post that you share! Remember how I use to worry about my post being too long? Well, I don't worry about it anymore! :) So, let's just keep on posting and reaching out in our own way! God bless you, Barb, and don't let anything or anyone stop all the good you are doing for our Lord. And, please know that you and family are always in my heartfelt prayers! :)

3/27/2002 08:13

Good Morning One and All!
I have a prayer request, it is insignificant compared to some of the other ones that are life threatening, but I need help in knowing how to handle this. Last week I got an unexpected call from a 26 yr old daughter worried about her Mom. I haven't met her or her Mom. They lost their 33 yr old Son and brother last September and the daughter is trying to get help for her Mom who is not, as we all know, doing well at this time. She has stopped going to church and mad at God and is in denial, still thinking that her son will come walking through the door. I had these thoughts and feelings as well and still do at times! This girl was referred to me by my pastor's wife and a friend. And I thought, I am just another Mom who lost a child, what can I do for this woman who I don't even know? But the Lord has laid it on my heart to reach out to other grieving Moms, so it wasn't a surprize to me that this has come about. I just need prayer for guidance as to what to say to her, (I am planning on calling her today). I don't know if she'll be receptive to me or not, but I will let the Lord take care of that, since He put this in my path! She knows about me, I don't know what I'm worried about, it's just that I've never done anything like this before. I would appreciate your prayers for me in this that the Lord has called me to do. Thank you all so much. I love you! God Bless each one!
Love, Yvonne<><

3/27/2002 11:51

Thank you to all who prayed for me this morning. I just got done talking to Jo, the mother who lost her son last Sept. It went well, she is in alot of pain. There is alot to deal with when an adult child is involved as I learned from our son's death. Legal things and other things as well. She needs prayers to get through this. She has alot of guilt. I didn't feel like I was the one to be talking to her. I felt so inadequate. But she said she just didn't have anyone to talk to. The Lord was with me though. About half way through our conversation, there appeared a dove, just outside my windows where I was sitting, in the rock garden. He stayed there until I finished my call to her. It was a sign that God is with me always no matter what I do! Thank you Jesus for your comfort and peace! I love you. God Bless each one of you for your thoughts and prayers, and may you each have a Blessed Easter as we celebrate His death and ressurrection.
Love, Yvonne<><

3/27/2002 15:24

Hello Yvonne, I'm so happy for you and this woman that Our Lord used you to reach out to her, in her pain, and help her! That's so wonderful! You're never inadequate when your doing His work for Him, I know He's very pleased with you right now. Once again, you received your sign of the dove, so you know that He is pleased with you, loves you, and is so thankful that you reached out in your own grief to help another grieving mom in a lot of pain. It feels so good to be able to give back, doesn't it. I know that Jo must feel so much better, talking with you, another mom who has gone through the same thing, losing a child. Yes, there are more things to deal with when you lose an adult child, and all of it painful. But you were able to help her with that also. May God continue to bless you, Yvonne, and Jo will definitely be prayed for here, we all know too well some of the things she's experiencing. May the peace of Our Lord be with you during this Easter season.
Luv Sandy

3/27/2002 17:51

Dear Verna, I should know that you all understand what i try to say and yes i will continue to post.I enjoy coming here,it gives me peace just to be here and to help someone when i can.The Lord has been good to me and i know this.We all get down sometimes or maybe i should say a lot of times but God will bring us out of that valley if we just seek him.God bless you.You and your family are always in my prayers.Love,Barb

3/27/2002 18:00

Dear Yvonne,I thank God that your talk went well with Jo this morning.We sure know where she is coming from as far as her feelings go.I went through all those same feelings and like you said,still do.What a blessing as you were talking to her that the dove came where you were.That just fills my heart to know how are God works.It is surely a sign that he is with you.How would we make it without him.You are doing his will and that always makes him happy.And i know Jo appreciates you being there for her.She really needs you right now.And i will continue to pray for her and her family and also you,dear lady.Love,Barb

3/27/2002 19:04

Dear Sandy ,just wanted to say hi and i pray all is going well with you. I wanted to let you know that i responded to your post on page 47.I didn't want you to think i forgot.Not that you had to answer i just wanted you to know in case you went straight to the new page.Well my sweet son called last night.He travels for his work sometimes so he is in Ca.His girlfriend which is his best friend is working out there now and he has a job interview Monday the 1st with a new company.It will be a good move up for him and even tho i am happy for him and proud of him i can hardly bear to think of him leaving.Right now he lives about 30 minutes away.If he moves there i will very seldom see him.I live in you know how far apart we will be.I always knew he would move away one day but i had Carol here and i knew she would never leave me because she always wanted to be where i was.But now she is gone and it is making me sad.But i don't let him know because i want him to do what makes him happy.Anyways he called because he knew Carols anniversary was coming up and he wanted to check on me and tell me he loved me.That sure touched my heart.And i know whatever God wants us to do we will do.So i just pray for everything to work out for the best.Sandy please keep me and my family in your prayers in the next days to come.God bless you.You are also in my prayers.Love,Barb

3/27/2002 20:54

Hi Barb, (eudora), I did read your kind, loving post, and I thank you for it. I know this is a very tough week for you. I hope you're getting plenty of rest and taking good care of yourself. Barb, I know somewhat of how you feel about your son leaving, the same thing happened to us. We have another son, Chris, who is 2 years older than Shane, and he was in his last year of University when Shane passed away in March. So when graduation came in May, he was offered a wonderful job, but far from home. So I felt as though I had lost them both, even though Chris could call home, and reassure me he was alright, it was so soon, his moving away, a few months after Shane had passed. But I was happy for him also, he has a very good job, is happy, and loves his new life in the city where he now lives. We see him at Thanksgiving, Christmas, during his summer vacation, and for Easter. But in the beginning, it was very hard for me to let go of him, the house resounded with such a quietness. Like you, I never told Chris how I felt, I put on a brave face and tried to be genuinely happy for him. I am very happy for him now, but in the beginning it was very hard. He also kept in close contact when he first moved, making sure I and his father were OK, and we always reassured him we were. It's hard to let your children go, but they too have their lives to live.
That's so sweet of your son to phone you and make sure you're doing alright, knowing that Carol's Anniversary is coming up. God bless you sweetie, you know that you're in my prayers, I know how rough a time this is for you, and now the news of your son moving. I'll storm Heaven for you, and you'll get through this rough patch. Everything will work out according to God's plan Barb, and know that you are loved,
Luv Sandy

3/27/2002 23:04

I wish peace and comfort to all who have lost a child. Yes, it is quite devasting. I lost a son 11 years ago, but sometimes it's like it was just yesterday. You never stop loving and missing them. Through prayer and comfort from others I have been able to turn some of my tears of sorrow to tears of joyful memories.

3/28/2002 00:47

I pray for all of those parents that have lost the most precious thing in their life- their child. Dear God, please be with them , and help them know that thier child is with you now. Please help them know that you are always their to guide them. In Jesus' name, AMen.

3/28/2002 08:24

Dear Barb, (Eudora), You are being prayed for at this most difficult time. That is so sweet of your son calling to let you know he was thinking of you. It's hard on our kids too, their dealing with their loss as well and thinking of their Mom at the same time. I'm sorry to hear of him possibly moving away. I too know how hard that is. My daughter Sarah lives 3 hours from us and my oldest son Bryan lives 45 minutes away. But my youngest son Aaron, left 9 months after my son Joseph died to go to a Bible college in the Los Angeles area which is 2000 miles away from home (I live in Illinois). Talk about empty nest syndrome in the worst way! Still grieving our loss, it was like losing him too. He will be getting married in June and will continue going to school out there for another year along with his wife (she has 2 more years to go). Then hopefully they will move closer to home, they don't like it out there! I'm glad! It is hard, because your kids mean so much more to you now then ever. Like you and Sandy, I couldn't have been happier for him because he found what he was supposed to be doing, he will be serving the Lord in ministry in some way. What more could you want for your children? My heart ached for him as well. This is what a mother feels for her children I guess. Just know that you are thought of and prayed for during these times of deep saddness you are feeling. Dear Lord, I come before you and ask you to give Barb that peace that passes all understanding, beyond our human comprehension, that only You can give, thank You for that Lord. Comfort Barb's grieving heart as she remembers her beloved Carol. God Bless you Barb!
Love, Yvonne<><

3/28/2002 08:38

Dear Crattliffe, Thank you for your kind words for every Mom here. I am so sorry for your loss of your son 11 years ago. It must still be difficult I'm sure. You never forget what it was like do you? But that is so nice to replace the hard memories with sweet ones of your precious son. God does give us these times to help ease the difficult times we go through. That's right, you never do stop loving them or missing them, it seems as time moves on that increases. I love my son Joseph more now than ever, I miss him so much. God Bless you for posting and offering your words of comfort and peace. May God continue to hold you up as you remember your beloved Son.
Love, Yvonne<><

3/28/2002 11:53

I am new here and am very glad I found this site. I lost my 25 year old son, Jeff to suicide on 12-14-99. Although it has been over 2 years, my life as I knew it does not exist. I have nightmares, I see images during the day (I was the one that found him). I cannot concentrate. I do not finish anything I start. I know I will never be the same, but I need your prayers for strength. I am on medication and do believe it is helping, some.
Prayers to all of you,
Sandi, Jeff's Mom

3/28/2002 13:23

Hello crattliffe, I'm so happy to see you posting here, and thank you also for your kind thoughts and words. I'm very sorry to read that you've also lost a beloved son, but your post gives great hope to newly bereaved moms, that one day their tears of sorrow will turn into wonderful tears of memory. You're absolutely right, you never forget your child, but you do learn how to live with the grief. Our thoughts and prayers are with you also,
Luv Sandy

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