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Shane Whalen
This Prayer Circle is Dedicated to my son Shane Whalen Who Passed Away On March 15, 1999 at the Age of 24, & All Other Children

Start a prayer circle for bereaved parents who have lost a child.

There are many of us out there who have lost a child, and it is devastating. It changes the outlook on life, plunges you into a depression, and you think that the feelings and thoughts you have nobody else could possibly relate to. I think a prayer circle for bereaved parents would only benefit us and help us on our journey of grief. This Circle is one of Love, where a Grieving Parent can safely come to for Prayers, and to talk about their feelings.

Shaner -10/14/2000
send to a friend

Read Prayers.

1/16/2010 17:09

My prayers are with you and your family.
I was a single parent and raised my son alone. I lost my only child, Michael, at the age of 19 due to cancer in 1993. With him went my future. No daughter-in-law, Grandchildren,or Mother's Day cards, or someone to help care for me in my old age. I felt so lost. If it weren't for God's unyeilsing and unending Love I wouldn't have made it through the darkest of times. Mike is a Godly young man and in so many ways he was MY teacher. I was and am blessed to have had him in my life. I miss him so much.
I remaried in 1995. But I still have a hole in my life. I could use prayer, please.
God Bless All of You who have lost a child!

1/21/2010 13:03

My Thoughts are with You and you must be so tired of hearing I'm so sorry but it's very true here in this Haven. I lost my son Michael { we called him Mikey} to a rare Cancer and felt as do and still do He was a teacher to us and I miss him too. Having to focus on our son Justin helped and it didn't the hole is there but it replaced by the good and precious memories. The dark ones diminish and I'm glad though sometimes something will trigger and I'm there again with all the feelings of the dark days but I am Grateful for the sonlight that being here in this Haven helped me to find, my Sisters Sandy Selva Verna helped me and so many others to help deal with the feelings others well meaning thought I should feel but didn't understand. I hope you will continue to come here to this Haven, I know how fortunate I was and am but many who come here only have the one child and do understand.

1/21/2010 13:07

Dearest Verna, you are so quiet, and are missed deeply here, come back when you can, with Love&Prayer&BearHugs Donna

1/21/2010 14:25

happy2gthr, I'm sorry I forgot to tell you will keep you in Prayer and with BigbearHugs Donna

1/22/2010 13:23

This is for my best friend of 35 years. Connie. Her Son, Joe, passed on at 27 years old. He had been married 3 weeks. His mother my best friend, Connie is not in a good way, she has to work and continue on but I know she's not holding up well. She lost her husband of 5 years and said the loss of a son does not compare, not that, that didn't devastate her also. I will make sure she reads these as she is not able to do this yet, but prayers work as we all know, and she needs them. Thank You

1/24/2010 03:15

Dear Quiet Cloud, Our hearts go out to your friend Connie, Heavenly Father a Good friend is a priceless treasure, help Connie to find meaning again give her solace till she finds and hears your Love for her again, we don't have the answers but we know you do, send your Angels to comfort her till she can find a reason to go on or the Good Memories don't hurt so bad, once they were a family, life made sense we lift Connie to your care and ask for your divine intervention. Help her to know she is not alone maybe she will someday come here and read these pages. With Love and BearHugs Connie in Jesus Name Amen.

1/26/2010 19:05

Susan (stwiny): Alex Jan. 2, 1983 (BD)
Charlene (havelost4): (granddaughter) Casey Marie Jan. 7, 1992 (BD)
((got2luv) Joshua Lyle Smith January 14th 2007 (HD)
Connie (connienevada): Derrick Jan. 18, 2006 (HD)
(LindaE) Jan 24, 2007 (HD) 1970 (BD)
Barbara (babbs): Jason Jan. 28, 2001 (HD)

1/26/2010 19:21

My heart aches for you hapy2gthr, You not only lost your child but part of your future. My boyfriend feels the same losing his only child, a daughter at age 21. He lost a wedding day, grandchildren, fathers day cards, ect.
I will pray for your strength and courage. You did not lose your future it is just different than you had planned. We have to trust that God knows what he is doing!

I try to teach friends not to be quiet when someone dies. I send a card to all my friends who lost children on their anniversaries. They like to know that others did not forget their child. Yes unfortunately I have several. My step daughter, we talk about her often because we know she is still part of our lives. I believe that it helps to say it out loud to friends and family. Like Stephanie did this or did that! Or when Stephanie died. Or explaining who she is to my grandchildren, who point to her picture. I believe that they will get used to saying her name easily. Most people do not know what to say. They figure that,if they say the lost ones name it will make you feel bad. We need to teach a better approach. I remember going to a funeral when I was small and told NOT to go into the room (where the body was)I was very confused. Now I take my children and grandchildren into funerals and let them view, and ask questions. This is my belief.

Love Chris

1/30/2010 08:39

My son, James was killed in a car accident on Sep.3, 1992, he was on a trip to Anderson S.C. helping his dad move his grandparents. It was so sudden I could not grasp the Truth for quite awhile but over the years I have found that I have something to give to others that lose their child way to early just by assuring that they are not alone and in time God heals your heart to the place to be there for others and to reach out to someone's child who has lost his or her parent's. Which I have not yet, and don't expect it to be nearly as painful as having my son die so young. Today 18 years later I have been given a purpose of comforting and guiding women in prison who are the age my son, James would be had he not gone home so soon, 36 and younger it's still makes me sad on the anniversary of his death and his birthday, to think of him still as only 18, but I fill up my heart with Grandchildren and the young people I meet who need a hug from a mom,
grandmother,or just a older sister in truth. Be Blessed and allow your heart to lead you to your real purpose and thing will get better, never really the same again, but better. God Bless.

2/3/2010 02:06

Dear Southern Sunshine, I'm so sorry that you lost your loving son so suddenly and I agree with you and smile 713 I know the agony of the begining years and I show my Grandchildren pictures of my son Mikey so they will know there Dad's brother and there life together before he took so ill and things they did toghether so they will know he's important to remember the good memories and God does present opportunties I've met more women of all ages who have lost a child and are at that time going through the agony. Yes we still feel the awful pain when the time comes for anniversary of there homecoming to God and still takes us back but how could we not they are our children and we will miss them always Shaner called them the valley Days and she is so right they are but more of the good memories come now but at times the valley comes and we push through. Quiet Cloud I Love your Love and Compassion for your friend Connie you are such a Blessing and we will all keep her in Prayer and Hope, so many of the pages here say much to the Mom's and Dad's who lost there only child, it is a harsh journey learning from a friend who is a Sister of my heart baby steps is what it took and still she can't celebrate holidays with her family and it's still hard at least some day's are better than others but still and all I know we can do and say is we will keep you in Prayer and Hope Quiet Cloud and especially your friend Connie. Love&BearHugs to All Donna

2/3/2010 23:25

Dearest Heavenly Father, I pray we will find your words to comfort and support all who come here regardless of faith, help us to help each and everyone who comes please help our Dear Sister Verna as these days of grief and longing weigh heavily upon her heart and mind just as we lift all the Mom and Dad's who come and have come, Into your Heavenly heart of Love we Lift our Loved ones. Amen Never Forgotten

3/24/2010 01:48

Finally! Hello angel moms, I have been trying to submit a post for a little over 2 hours! I am sure it is because I still don't do well remembering my password and some other stuff. LOL Anyway, it feels good just to be able to submit a post again to let everyone know you all are in my thoughts and prayers.

Had a rough day and night. Blood pressure shot up pretty high. The paramedic said it was 200 + over zero. LOL I told him I had NEVER heard of not having a bottom number reading! Anyway, it came down to 190 over something before they let me go. I had to sign a form which stated that I refused transportation to the ER. I only stopped there to have it checked because I felt a little light headed bec I forgot to eat earlier in the day. I had a dr appointment and all went well there, so I told them I would be sure to go to the ER if I didn't feel better or call 911.

I did not eat my catfish nuggets and french fries after that scare! Still trying to decide if I should wake hubby or just go on to the ER to be monitored. Right now I think I will just relax a bit and try to let the new med settle in. So keep me in your prayers everyone and I will do the same for all here.
God''s peace and blessings,
Verna aka miss v. [the name Sandy and Selva gave to me years ago]:)

3/24/2010 02:39

The Holy Spirit said to me,
“Go write this down!”

A poem for My Baby Girl ... my Rue :)

Cheryl Denise [Clay] Williams
1st Anniversary - 03/13/2009

By Verna [Coleman] Clay

If regrets were allowed in heaven
No doubt some of yours would be
That you didn’t get to say goodbye
To friends and family

Didn’t get to say I love you
And I know you love me too
No doubt in my mind
If you’d had the chance
There’d be hugs and kisses too

But regrets aren’t allowed in heaven
They’re for those who are left behind
We will allow those regrets to dampen our spirits
Forever! … that’s a long long time

Still by the grace of God
We will try to carry on
Just as others have had to do
Remembering each day to thank our heavenly Father
For the unforgettable times we spent with you

Yes, in time we’ll move on but oh so slowly …
Trusting God to see us through
For only He can decrease [in time]
The magnitude of -
The heartfelt pain … of missing you!!!

Loving and missing you soooo much! mama

3/25/2010 07:41

Hello again everyone, I know all too well how difficult it can be sometimes to figure out how to submit a post here. Or am I the only one that can't recall a most recent password? LOL Anyway, it always warms my heart to finally gain access to submit a post or two, even if I can't remember how I did it. LOL

I would like to extend a warm welcome to all; especially the newly bereaved. This prayer circle was started by angel mom Sandy, who lost her beloved son, Shane. Like many others, I have tried to find the words to express how much it means to me to be able to come here and [as angel mom Selva says] let it all out. As it relates to dealing with the loss of my beloved daughters, Diane and Cheryl, it doesn't matter whether I am having a good day or down in the valley day, I know it is always okay to express what I am feeling. I also know that those who come here are praying for me and others just as we who are a bit farther along are praying for all who have lost a child; no matter how long ago or how recent the loss. We know all too well that there is no such thing as getting over losing one's beloved child. We know that grieving the loss of a child is an ongoing process, and that it takes years and lots of support, prayers, understanding, compassion, and help from God to deal with the stress of it all.

We who are farther along know all too well that sometimes it seems that no one else could possibly feel the way we do and survive it. Many times have looked back and wondered how I survived the initial shock of losing both of my daughters. Childless now, I am trying to deal with all the stages of grief once again; only this time without the help of my other child because God allowed her to be taken from us; in much the same manner as our first born. So, the new grief, the old grief, and everything in between has me reeling and trying to regain or hold on to my faith and not worry about they "why" of it all.

It takes a lot of energy to go on after losing a child. I Don't know how this will end; that is, how much I will accomplish in this world while dealing with the loss of both children, a decline in health, while trying to live and function in a not so perfect world. But it helps to know that I don't have to do it alone. And, for that, I am mighty grateful.

I would like to encourage our newly bereaved mom/dads/other family/friends to view some of the older post here that have been submitted by other angel moms and others through the years. That is what I do on a regular basis when I am having difficulty with submitting a post. It reminds me so vividly that I am not alone in what I am feeling; that many, many others walk with me on this never ending journey of grief loss and divine healing. No matter where you are on your journey, always remember, you are not alone!

Love, (((HUGS))), and Prayers,

Verna/aka/miss v.
Cheryl’s & Diane’s Mom
03/13/2009 08/31/1996

3/26/2010 07:14

Heavenly Father, I pray for all parents who have lost a child. I pray that you will give them the strength to endure until that quiet sadness, that Sandy mentioned on page one, settles in. Amen

4/3/2010 18:21

Losing one's child is something that will always hurt. It doesn't matter how they left us, the pain is the same. It is always there, it will never leave. Sometimes it gets put on the shelf, but it always with us.

4/4/2010 01:39

Hello angel moms,

Today was somewhat quiet and peaceful. I made it through my Rue’s birthday. She would have been 43 today. Coming so soon after her heavenly date, I was somewhat able to stay in a semi fog most of the day. Having my 15 year old grandson and 14 year old grand niece over today helped a lot. Didn’t want to ruin their day so I did like Briansmom said; put it on the shelf, mainly because I still don’t know where grandson is in his grief process. Instead, I took them out for what they call food LOL; then picked up a KFC dinner for PaPaw, went back home and gave up my PC for the rest of the day. LOL

Briansmom, thank you for your post. It helps to know we are never alone no matter where we are on the road of loss grief and ongoing healing. It helps to know there are others who truly can relate to what we may be feeling at any given time.

Well enough of my rambling. Gonna go try to get a little rest I hope. Keeping you all in my heartfelt prayers.

Thanks Beliefnet for making it easy to post again!

4/7/2010 18:42

The prayers and love here helped me to bare my grief better because I wasn't alone and I was received with love and understanding. My heart goes out to all who come especially you love2u because you helped me, today is 14yrs since my beautiful Mikey left for his new home, what gets better the further I move from that day the dark, painful memories of that day are the same but I work hard to push that day away and remember the others but my heart gets grabbed and I push the dark away but the knowledge that Mikey is alive in heaven. I still cry for missing of his presence but most of the time I'm ok thanks to the help I received here love2U I love u and I'm praying for you and all who are left to survive the rawness and pain, never forgotten and never far from prayer. Thank you seems so small for what all of you did for me, Much Love&BearHugs Donna

4/8/2010 00:59

Oh gosh Donna I am so sorry I didn't come and read earlier. I was so busy trying to get things fixed so I could post I didn't think to read. My prayers are with you always as are the other moms; but I know it means a lot when you can read the words that remind you that you don't have to go through your special days alone. Sure hope you felt the results of all our prayers! Thank you also for your support and love and understanding always. I know I have it even when you can't get here. :) God bless you, Donna, for all the prayers and compassion you share here; especially your warm and tender bear hugs!
Love & Prayers,

4/8/2010 01:11

Donna I tried so hard to type fast enough to submit my post on Mikey's heavenly date. I wish I could make the day go away for you but all I can do is pray and let you know that you are not alone for we share the burden and hope it helps just knowing that if you could we would make it all go away like a bad dream. I still can't go all the way to accepting yet. But I know that God is with me as well as all of us and He will give us the strength we need to carry on; one minute, one hour, one day at a time. God bless.

4/8/2010 01:16

Y'all I had to register again before the type box and submit button would show up. Thanks again Beliefnet Staff!

4/8/2010 11:54

To our newly bereaved parents, family, and friends, we have a Special Dates List with [our name/children's names, Birthday [BD] and Heavenly Date [HD] that angel mom, Chris,posts each month of the year. If you would like to add your information, angel mom, Chris, will add it to our Special Dates List when time permits. To see how Chris does it, please click on page
459 at the bottom of this page.

My thoughts and prayers are with each of you today. May God give you the strength you need to make it through each moment, each hour of this day.

God's peace and blessings,
Verna/aka/love2you/forever/miss v. :)

4/15/2010 06:45

As Sandy would say, "Where is everybody?" [smile] I know we will soon be facing Mother's Day, but we will get through it together. God willing, this will be my second Mother's Day since I lost my Rue, Cheryl. :( It will also be the second one that her daddy, her son [our only grandchild], and her husband will have to get through. Like we do here in our circle of love, support, compassion, and understanding, God willing, we will get through it together. Please remember angel moms/dads, and also other family members and friends, this is a safe haven to talk about your feelings, request prayer, and offer prayer. There is never any judgment here. I pray that God in His tender mercy will wrap His loving arms around you and give you those precious moments of peace for which we all pray.
Love and heartfelt prayers,

4/23/2010 20:13

Anita (astarte1225): Kimberly Feb. 9, 1980(BD)
(Azna): Deirdra Feb 19, 1992 (BD) & (HD)
Donna (arqt): Marcus Feb.20, 2002(HD)
Barbie (momcandoit): Garry Feb. 22, 2005 (HD)
Anita (astarte1225): Joshua Feb. 24, 2006 (HD)
Charlene (havelost4): (grandson) Baby boy Feb. 25, 1989(BD)

Lisa (LisaLou862): Aaron Mar. 2, 1983 (BD)
Yvonne (dovesfromheaven): Joseph (Joe) Mar. 7, 1975 (BD)
(trisha99) Garrett MARCH 11,1999 (HD)
Cindy (cindys1021): Kristina Mar. 15, 2001 (HD)
Sandy (shaner): Shane Mar.15, 1999 (HD)
(kagan) Kagan Raylynn Price Mar. 16, 04 (BD)
Charlene: (granddaughter) Carey Grace Mar. 18, 1994 (BD)
Kathy (KPETERSEN): Wes Mar. 25, 1982 (BD)
Alexandra (mis4mary): Kristian Mar. 26, 1980(BD)
Charlene: (havelost4): (grandson) Michael Mar. 27, 1989 (BD & HD)
(Donna) Donna T Mar. 29, 1979 (BD)

Barb (Eudora): Carol Ann April 2, 1999 (HD)
Cindy (cindys1021): Kristina (Krissy) April 6, 1980 (BD)
Donna April 29, 1979 (BD)

Jennifer: (jhdanner): Aimee Nicole May 1, 1993 (HD)
Donna Donna T May 6, 2002 (HD)
Susan (stwiny;cagermane): Alex May 8, 2003 (HD)
Jane (jpot): Elizabeth May 18, 1979(BD)--July 14, 1979 (HD)
Sandy (shaner): Shane May 28, 1974 (BD)
Melanee (My Caleb) Caleb May 30th 2007 (HD) 1986 (BD)

Im so excited! I haven't tried for a while now but I'm glad I did! I posted back to February because that's when the trouble started. I want to make sure no one gets forgotten.
I also did May because it's coming fast.

I have news! My baby (age 20) is expecting. I'm gonna be a grandma again!!!
To back up nothing else new. everyone is doing good. I will be thinking of you all on mothers day coming up. I have to work but that's ok. Mike is doing his dance scholarship in memory of his daughter Stephanie on May 7 & 8. Stirs up the memories but it's getting a little easier as years go by. YEARS WOW HARD TO BELIEVE!!!

Everyone stay strong you know we have your backs and you can always cry here. Love Chris (smile)

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