Prayer Circles

Dear everBhappyagain, It saddens me to read about the loss of your beloved son. I lost my adult daughter Aug. 31, 1996. She was killed in a tragic drunk driving crash which involved 2 cars, and 2 pickup trucks. A friend of mine lost her son 3 years before in an accidental shooting. Still, the pain of losing a child in the manner that you did has to have a level of grief all it's own. If the death was resent, you also have the stress of the upcoming holidays which we all know are so very difficult. you are so right when you say people don't know what to say. Even after all this time, close family members are still timid about mentioning my daughter's name or a fond memory that they shared. I can recall one of the most touching things that happened to me about 5 years ago. A friend of my daughters and I were talking about something - I don't remember what - and all of a sudden she said, "Ms. Clay, I still miss Diane." Nothing has touched me more than hearing those words and hearing my child's name spoken by someone who knew and loved her as a friend. I pray that you have lots of support to guide you through the legal system; especially with giving your victim impact statement. You can also find a lot of information online such as your state's Victim's Bill of Rights.
As hard as it is to believe right now, the pain will someday become easier to bear. By that I mean it won't be 24/7. Back then, when I was told that, I figured the person must be out of their mind! It's just that it takes so much time and so many tears, and trying to make sense of a senseless tragedy! I wondered if I would EVER regain my faith or my will to live. Each grief situation has it's own time table. Let No One tell you how long to grieve or when to move on. No one can determine that but you and our heavenly Father. It took a longgggg, long time before my anger got out of the way and my faith in a loving and caring God began to help clear the fog. But the good news is, it did happen. So take your time and grieve at your own pace. Then, someday, when you are stronger, you will [with God's help] rise up and say to the evil one: "In your face!"
Love & Prayers,
Verna
Diane's mom
8/16/60-8/31/96
Forever In Our Hearts!

Angel moms, please forgive me for not getting here as often as I would like to with my encouraging words. I am dealing with a lot right now with my 95 year old auntie who just had her right foot amputated a few days ago, plus my own health issues; my heart, COPD, etc. My sister is her primary care giver, but I am trying to be there to help out as often as possible in anyway I am needed. The stress of the holidays and missing my Diane only add to the stress; but thank God Almighty, so far, I am doing okay. And, believe it or not, I am kind of looking forward to seeing the young grand kids in our family enjoy the holidays. Auntie will go to Life Care once out of the hospital for a few days; then we will bring her home to take care of her. Thank God, the adult children help Sis and I in any way they can when they are not working.
Love and prayers to all.
God’s peace and blessings,
Verna

Praying 24/7 for all who have lost a precious and beloved child; that God will comfort you throughout the holiday season.
Love and prayers,
Verna

Chain Reaction

Sometimes I cry myself to sleep
When to life’s trials I see no end
Just when it seems that no one cares
God says to me, “I’ll be your friend

Sometimes I feel life is not worth living
I get tired of trying; I don’t want to go on
Just when I’ve almost given up
God steps right in and makes me strong

And uses me to help someone
Who just can’t bear their cross alone
When to life’s trials they see no end
I say to them, “I’ll be your friend.”

Poem by Verna R. Clay

Had I known when I wrote the above poem that my daughter would be killed three months later in what was described as a chain reaction type crash,[involving 2 cars, 2 pickup trucks, and drunk driving, I would have asked God to take me then and there.] God already knew I could not survive losing my child on my own! No Way!!! Only later would I discover that every poem that was given to me to write prior to my daughter’s untimely death would someday help to bring healing to my torn and shattered heart. God always sends the help we need to weather life’s storms! Never again will I doubt that God exists, and that he cares about what happens to each of us while here on earth. Nor will I doubt His power to help any grieving mom/dad/other family member/friend turn tragedy into triumph. Don’t let the evil one keep you mad at God! Tell God you are angry, over and over again, what happened is not fair, and anything else you have on your mind. He already knows and keeps right on loving you anyway! Then, when you can, allow Him to help you weather this untimely, unwanted, ongoing storm! No doubt about it; He is the only one that can bring healing to our shattered hearts and give us reasons and the strength to go on. We must continue to lean on Him!
Love and prayers,
Verna

Praying 24/7 for all who have lost a beloved child. May God comfort you and give you precious moments of peace and the blessed assurance that your child is alive and well in heaven.
Love and angel hugs,
Verna

Sorry about the way the poem came out above. :( Next time I will type it instead of trying to copy paste. My computer is so old it tends to mess up at times.
Love & prayers,
Verna

My dear dear Ms. V. I am so thankful to God that He brought me here into this Circle of Love, and into your life and Sandy's, Cindy, Lisa and oh my God, into so many dear Angel sisters. I just want to let you all know that my prayers today is that God give us Peace, Understanding, Love and Health, for you and me included. My dear Ms. V. you are always an inspiration to me, you have helped me to go on in this life without my daughter, thanks to you and our dear sister Sandy I have managed to continue on in this life. I pray to our Lord, to give us all , the bereaved parents in this Circle and all, Peace in our hearts, and to keep the love in our hearts also. My love and prayers are with you all.
Selva

Grieve no longer for the lord is with you all. The lord will strengthen all through Christ Jesus. Take everything to him and have confidence, he will help.

Let this new year be a year, the year of new beginning...

Be good you all and may the lord rest his mighty hands upon the ones who hurt.

SPECIAL DATES LIST FOR JANUARY:
Susan (stwiny): Alex Jan. 2, 1983 (BD)
Charlene (havelost4): (granddaughter) Casey Marie Jan. 7, 1992 (BD)
((got2luv) Joshua Lyle Smith January 14th 2007 (HD)
Connie (connienevada): Derrick Jan. 18, 2006 (HD)
(LindaE) Jan 24, 2007 (HD) 1970 (BD)
Barbara (babbs): Jason Jan. 28, 2001 (HD)

Remembering Alex today.
Im sorry I'm behind this month. The whole holiday thing has me bumbed. I am a domestic violence survivor. I have to appear in court again to face this monster. on Jan 15th. I find it hard to think or be happy at this time. Please pray for me Jan 15th. Chris

This prayer circle is for my sons Neil D Holmes Nov.28 2002 & for Bill Ron Meyer Sept.1 2008.
I miss you both .

Lord, I pray that you surround these families who have lost a child, to build their strength and to keep believing in your Will. I pray that you protect all that are suffering. In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

Tom
1/01/07
For my only beloved son who died on 1/1/07
When tomorrow starts without you and you are not there to see, If the son should rise it will find my eyes filled with tears. I know you do not want me to cry as much as I do. Your life was cut short, while I had more to say and teach you. I know how much you loved me, as much as I loved you. I know each time I think of you and know that you are near. This will be comfort, so I will not cry. I love you, miss you, and will see you one day again. MOM

To all who have special dates this month please know my heartfelt prayers are with you. My health has prevented my from getting here to submit posts to everyone on their special date, but there is not a day that goes by or a condition so severe that prevents me from praying for special date moms as well as all who have lost a precious and beloved child. Even those of us who are a bit farther along on our grief journey have days when we have to say an extra prayer or two for strength and the determination to continue on our own journey. For as you know, though we walk the same road, and can relate to each other�s grief in many ways, each grief journey is unique. Only God and you know exactly how you feel or how deeply you are grieving at any given moment on a daily basis. I can tell you from my own personal experience, only God knows exactly how much we can bare. I can�t count the times through the years when I felt like I could not go on. My grief and pain was just that great. With the help of the Lord, I made it through those difficult days, months, and now many years. Therefore it always pleases me to come here and tell you that what He did for me and many, many other angel moms and dads, He can and will do for each of you who are in that 24/7 stage of grief. Maybe you can�t pray yet. That is okay,: I/We will stand in the gap and pray for you. Besides, God understands and loves you no matter what. And best of all, we have the blessed assurance that He is taking care of our beloved children and we will live forever with them when our purpose in this life has been completed according to His will. My prayer tonight is that each of you will find peace in the blessed assurance that God is able to do what no other power can do. I also pray that your beloved child will send you signs often to let you know s/he is alive and well in heaven. What a joyous and heavenly reunion we all will have someday! May God bless and keep each of you in His loving care.
LOVE2U,
Verna/Diane�s mom
8/16/60 - 8/31/96
Forever In Our Hearts

Hi dear Chris, Thanks as always for posting the Special Dates. I hohored your prayer request, but was not well enough to get here to post to let you know. I pray that all went well and that God will continue to shelter you from all life storms. Take care and God bless.
Verna

Hello my dear sister, Selva, :) I hope you got the photo of our grandson and his papaw that I "think" I sent sometime last week??? My meds have me so messed up until I hardly know what I have or have not done. Plus, you know I don't know dada about sending photos! :) So let me know and if it didn't arrive, I will try again or ask Cheryl to do it for me. It was a photo that she took on with her cell phone camera. Praying that you are taking good care of yourself. I know this is the beginning of a very busy time for you. I've been in and out of the ER three times since the holidays; trying to cope with COPD. Maybe I told you all about it in an email. I am on so many meds, it's kind of hard to remember. Anyway, if I didn't, I want you to know that I spent the early part of New Year's Eve in intensive care, and watched the new year come in later from my hospital room window. Ha-ha! I drove myself this time because I was already in the area trying to take care of some other business. The good news is that I am still here; and for that, I am mighty grateful.
Love and hugs,
Yo miss v. :)

To all our new members, thanks for the prayers and may God bless you in every way He knows you need blessing. :)
God's peace and blessings,
Verna

Hi our Chief Angel Mom, Sandy, :) Boy or boy do we miss you!!! But glad you decided to take a break and take care of your health after giving sooo much of yourself for sooo many, many years here. We know you still love us just as we love you, so this is really just to let you know we miss ya, and will do our best to stand in the gap until you return. Take care dear Sandy/shaner!
Love and Angel Hugs,
Yo miss v. :)
ps: please forgive all mistakes yall cause I am floating on a sea of medication tonight! :) :) :) Going go get some much needed rest now.

Thanks for the prayer. It was thrown out. I had to see him and pay a lawyer but I guess I won this time. He only does it because its the only way to control me yet. If I don't go to court they can arrest me. I am within months of publishing a book about my abuse with my ex-husband. Then everyone will know what a creep he is. He abuses everyone not just me.
I too also think about the months losses but can't always get on to post. I'm sorry, really sorry. I do however think about you and pray that you keep strong while missing your precious child during the days surrounding special days.
Hope and pray that everyone here is healthy and trusting our lord this year.
My new grandaughther has medical problems. They are still tedting. We went this morning for an ECO, her heart is fine. Thank god! She has reflux (maybe). poor baby crys alot. Just wanna kiss it and make it all better! Sometimes we can't. Love all Chris

God bless you and your family

My dear sister Ms. V.
I can not take my eyes off you, you have been in the hospital and we (Sandy and I) did not know. You have not been behaving (as usual) how many times are I'm going to tell you that you are needed here by so many people!!!!, Yes I did received our grandson's photo and I did e mail you about it, I am so proud of him, I can't believe how tall he got (are we getting older???) and he looks so much like his pawpaw. My dear sister, you are such a great human being, and I owe you and our dear sister Sandy, so much, I am alive because of you two and this wonderful Circle of Love. I am sure there are so many moms who find a Heaven of Rest in this Circle of love, just as we do. For all the sisters and fathers who visits here, I lost my only child, Solange , age 20, Aug 15, 2002, she went to Heaven on that day, due to a car accident, I have learned, like you will also learn, that there is no death, we just move from one realm to another, we can not see them, because we are used to the physical world and our eyes can only see what our brains are trained to see, but our children are very much alive, in another world, call it Heaven, Sky, or whatever, but they are with Our Lord, they finally reached that Heaven that we all want to experience, they are happy and in peace, and we will be with them again and this time FOREVER, that is our God's promise. My love and prayers are always with you.
Selva

My dear sister Chris. I just can't imagine what you are going through, I just want you to know that my heart and prayers will be with you. May God give you strenght and keep you in His Arms.
Love.
Selva

My thoughts and prayers go out to Elizabeth. She has Lupus and Dyfus just took her son away. I pray for a speedy return. I know more than how she feels, since my son died. I hope for her to have her angels comforting her, until his return.

It's been a LOOOOOOOOOOOOOng time since I've been here and when I logged on to read the most recent posts I was brought to tears because Casey's BD was posted for this month. I've thought about all of you off and on through the past several months but with not having my computer for a while and then not having time to post because I am working, I am just now finding the time to come back and visit with you all. Thank you, Chris, for keeping the anniversaries updated. I lost all of my printed information about Shaner's prayer circle but hopefully I can go through my computer 'notes' and revisit who's who since I was here last. There have been a lot of pages added (sadly), but I'm glad that there is this loving group for people to come to. I see Miss V. and Selva and Chris are still posting and helping others. I'll add more later, but for now I just wanted to say hi and feel that connection with you all again.
Love and (((HUGS))) to you all,
Grandma Charlene

lord jesus please help the Whalen family with their lost. Help them to not sorrow and to know their child is in a better place and he is not suffering in this cold world anymore.Help them and give them the strength they need lord jesus in you name i pray Amen

Miss V,
I just read the previous page's postings and wanted to say a special thank you for posting to me about Casey and Carey's homegoing date in Dec. It was harder on me this anniversary than it ever has been before. For one thing, I hadn't been to the cemetery for over a year because it was too close to my ex's house (where I also used to live) and I didn't want to take the chance of running into him. His sister took me to the cemetery recently and I did get to visit with the girls for a little while but it's just not the same as living close and being able to feel free to go whenever I want to.

Chris,
I feel your angst and pain! I'm fine as long as I don't have to see him or think about him; but since he's still refusing to let me get my things from the house, it seems that I still have to deal with him in one way or another. And you're right; it's a control thing that they think they still have over us. I'm so glad that he doesn't have any legal rights to me any more! But as usual he's balking about giving in and letting me have my things. I was in my old house (his house now) in Feb. 2008 with a court order to get my things but he got ugly when a lady with me laughed at him; so the Sheriff's deputies made me leave. It's taken me this long to get contempt charges filed against him, but hopefully this time someone will enforce the court order and I'll be able to get all my family pictures (including ones of Casey and Carey) plus all the other things that I wasn't able to get the last time.
I started a DivorceCare class this past week and I think it's going to help tremendously. I'm already looking forward to going to the next class this week.
I'm glad to be back among family/friends and I hope you all have a very good week.
Love and (((HUGS))),
Grandma Charlene