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Shane Whalen
This Prayer Circle is Dedicated to my son Shane Whalen Who Passed Away On March 15, 1999 at the Age of 24, & All Other Children


Start a prayer circle for bereaved parents who have lost a child.


There are many of us out there who have lost a child, and it is devastating. It changes the outlook on life, plunges you into a depression, and you think that the feelings and thoughts you have nobody else could possibly relate to. I think a prayer circle for bereaved parents would only benefit us and help us on our journey of grief. This Circle is one of Love, where a Grieving Parent can safely come to for Prayers, and to talk about their feelings.

 
Shaner -10/14/2000
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alpal
2/3/2008 22:16

lonestar dreamer,
I will pray for you and your husband. Father God we lift up your children to you tonight that you will touch them and heal their hurt. We know that you never intend for us as your children to hurt, I pray that this father will turn away from his alcohol and find the true relief for his sorrow in losing his son. Father I pray that you will strengthen this family in every aspect of the word and knit them back as one. We love you and stand on your promise that where two or more are gathered in your name you are in the midst.Amen


smile
2/4/2008 13:15

Yea Im ok and busy,I lost an Uncle this week and still recovering from mikes mom. I am waiting to hear about my "dream job", the one I went to school for. I am just waiting to hear if I got it. Helping women of domestic violence is what god wants me to do.I have 2 part time jobs and my teenager is going through another bought of teenagehood. Oh boy! As I came to read and catch up I realized its Feb already. I'm posting what I have and I added Deirdra and Emily to my list.

SPECIAL DATES LIST FOR FEBRUARY:
Anita (astarte1225): Kimberly Feb. 9, 1980(BD)

(Azna): Deirdra Feb 19, 1992 (BD) & (HD)

Donna (arqt): Marcus Feb.20, 2002(HD)

Barbie (momcandoit): Garry Feb. 22, 2005(HD)

Anita (astarte1225): Joshua Feb. 24, 2006(HD)

Charlene (havelost4): (grandson) Baby boy Feb. 25, 1989(BD)


Shaner
2/4/2008 13:29

Oh Mary, I'm so sorry to read that..on top of your loss, your husband has turned to alcohol to dull his pain. Its not unusual and men do grieve differently than women, but it still must be very hard on you.
Know that our love, support and prayers are with you,
Love, Prayers & Hugs,
Sandy


Shaner
2/4/2008 13:32

Hi dear Chris, sorry to hear about your Uncle. Oh hey, I pray that you get the job, its what you want to do and a Ministry that God wants you to do for Him!
Thanks so much for updating the List!
Love & Hugs,
Sandy


Shaner
2/4/2008 13:38

An article I came across today that I wanted to share with all, its so true!

Band-aids

Band-aids have many uses. They’re good for covering boo-boos, in arts & crafts projects when you’ve run out of tape, sticking things on the wall when you don’t want to remove the paint. . .

Another use for “band aids” is to cover the huge hole in the heart that is suffering the loss of a child. These band-aids, unfortunately, don’t stick very well and they have to be reapplied often. When someone doesn’t speak of our child, no matter how well intentioned, the band-aid slips off. When some one speaks “words of wisdom”, the band-aid slips again. You all know these wise words. “At least you didn’t have your child long enough to get attached to him/her”, “he/she is in a better place”, “it’s for the best, and at least he/she isn’t suffering any longer”. OOPS! Band-Aid has slipped again!

As mothers suffering the agony of the loss of a child, we eventually learn to reapply our band-aids, over and over again, and it’s sad that the world in general just doesn’t get it. When we speak of our child, the eyes roll or the conversation is changed. Durned band-aid has once again become unstuck!

To my knowledge, super stick band-aids haven’t been invented yet, and even if they have been, they won’t work on our hearts. The only thing that will cure the hole in our hearts is to have our child back…yeah, and world peace will happen next week!

To the moms who have lost their children “in-utero”, whose children were still born or those who passed shortly after birth, you may feel guilty for having to use these band-aids. Guilty because you feel you didn’t have your child long enough to cause the “heart hole”. It’s to those moms in particular that I’m speaking to.

I don’t care if you’ve lost your child soon after you discovered you were pregnant, you still had a child and you’re still a mother. You deserve to grieve, for what wasn’t. You deserve understanding from those close to you. You deserve to scream, cry and question the “whys”. You deserve a band-aid just as big as those who have lost adult children.

Carin Furgison



A_Lite_Touch
2/4/2008 19:18

Father those who come to this page hurting and crushed,doubting and questioning,still have faith or they would not be praying. Please hold them,their families and their passed loved ones in your hand ,Keep them safe and offer them your comfort as they weep. You alone are solace, you alone are helpmeet. In Christ ,Amen


alpal
2/4/2008 21:38

A_Lite_Touch, I really like your name and I thank you for that very heart felt prayer. It appears that you have not lost a child, but when there are people who can touch the hearts of so many with such kind words, is because they have a heart for God. I pray that God will bless you richly.


cherrlbosh2004
2/6/2008 00:54

I lost my daughter to the system. she was thrown threw a custody battle for two yrs. and then i had some problems where i was finacally un stable...(paying the lawyer fees, and having a disabled baby) due to that i couldnt pay support for 12 mths and they the father and step mom was granted adoption and i lost her cause i could not pay child support...God, i need you


alpal
2/6/2008 14:29

Father God only you can grant peace to this mother cherrlbosh2004 and I pray today that you will show her what you would have her to do in this situation. Father she hurts from the loss of her daughter and even thou the child is with the natural father it does not make the pain any less. I pray Father that you will show her the way you want her to go in and that she will keep an open mind and heart that she will hear you when you speak.Amen

Dear hurting mom please seek God's will thru studying his word and maybe finding a support group that can help you thru the very difficult moments that you will encounter. There is no healer better than our Heavenly Father and he knows your every need.


elanenergy
2/7/2008 11:24

Dear Linda, I am so sorry about your losses, which can only bring up all the pain associated with the death of your precious son in such a horrific way. Somehow, it seems that God doesn't give the passes on death to children that He used to.....my wild high school days I could have been killed a number of times, but I was spared. I don't know why. Perhaps it is because in today's modern world, where we live such comfortable and high-tech lives, God is trying to teach us to remain faithful to what really matters---life, death, suffering and compassion. I have found so little compassion, and I don't know why....the stigma of suicide, I guess. But my son suffered from bi-polar disorder (he was different from the day he was born) and I cherished him and devoted my life to his health and his happiness. I pray for all of us here, who cannot readily understand and accept the death of our children....the worst possible thing that can ever happen. I watched a documentary "Ghosts of Abu Galhib" and bawled over the capability we as humans have to hurt each other. Why? What causes us to turn to anger, vengence, hatred and suffering when God only wants us to love, honor and respect each other? We are living in strange and difficult times. My prayer is that the love and understand that exists on this prayer circle can be expanded and magnified to the outside world, so that the hearts and minds of friends, family, employers, acquainances and strangers will remember the blessed teachings of Jesus Christ our savior. Amen


Shaner
2/8/2008 07:32

Hi dear Teri,
I love your post, although its sad, you've been very honest about how you feel and letting some venting out - that's what the Circle is for! along with prayers. Its always better to let it out rather than keep it bottled up, so I honor you for your sharing!
I don't think its because your young son committed suicide, we all seem to go through that....after a week or two, everyone else has gone back to their normal lives but we're stuck in unbelievable pain. People avoid talking to you, they don't know what to say, or they don't mention your child's name, for fear it'll upset you (nothing could be further from the truth). They don't understand the magnitude of our loss and I pray they never do. If any person would be cold enough to judge mental illness or your son's passing......I wouldn't even want to know them, I'd be much better off NOT having them in my life.
Yes, the world needs more love, understanding, compassion, and I like to think that the prayers, etc., that are offered up in this Circle of Love have a 'ripple' affect, touching many others as well!
Much love, prayers & Hugs,
Sandy


alpal
2/9/2008 08:56

I know that just because there are no new posts does not mean there is no more hurting. Wouldn'g that be great! So allow me today to pray for all who have lost a child in days past and even for those who may open this site today for the first time, that they too will receive a blessing. Heavenly Father even thou there are no new posts you know all and see all. I pray Father that even if one person enters this prayer circle for the first time today that they will receive a blessing. I pray that you will reveal yourself to each person who enters this circle and bless them Lord, give their hearts the peace that surpasses all understanding.Help each one as they journey down this road of sadness and sorrow, fill their hearts with your love and kindness and Lord we know that when we are hurting it is hard to Pray but we also know that you send your angels to intercede on our behalf and we thank you and praise you for that blessing above all in this circle. Bless all your children today Father in Jesus name Amen


Shaner
2/9/2008 12:12

Beautiful, Joyce, I join with you in that prayer,
Love & Hugs,
Sandy


Shaner
2/9/2008 12:18

Dear Anita,
Thinking of you today and sending love and hugs on your Kimberly's Birthday today. Along with some painful memories may you also experience the happier one's. God's unabiding love will see you through today and every day,
Love & Hugs,
Sandy


alpal
2/10/2008 17:09

I did something today that I do not get to do very often, because my son is buried in another city. Today I visited my son at the grave site. I truly think that he was with me in spirit. I told him how much I love and miss him and that I will be okay. For a very long time I thought and I still believe that he is in heaven, but I just felt his presence today. I have decided to visit there whenever I am in that town. I also got to visit with the grandparents and his grandma misses him as much as I do and I told her that I would be back to see her and to visit my son on a later date. The visit brought tears to my heart and then I listened to the song by Janet Pascal "How are Things at Home", it brought more tears but it warmed my heart at the same time because I know that he is at home with Jesus. The song has a part that asks if childrens' laughter fills the air, and I'm sure it does and as much as my son loved little kids, he is grinning from ear to ear. I am so grateful that God has comforted me and I know that all is well. My Prayer today is that each person here will receive God's peace and know that all is well with their children. Joyce


nitin24
2/10/2008 21:13

This prayer circle is dedicated to our son, Nitin, and all the children as they departed before their "time".

We lost Nitin, our only child on his 24th birthday.


nitin24
2/10/2008 21:35

Dear Shaner:
All my prayers are there for your son, Shane.
I meant to create a prayer circle for our son, Nitin, and wrote the other message here, by mistake.

God bless.
-ABS.


MissVClay
2/11/2008 00:55

Father God, I come to you tonight with a heart filled with quiet sadness, gratitude, and a measure of peace as only You can give. Yes, even after all this time … [11 years, 5 months, and 9 days], I still miss my Diane … but I know that it’s okay and that You understand.

Father, I thank You for making me a part of this life-saving prayer circle of love, compassion and understanding. I know You are in the mist of it all. :)

Thank You for giving me the [welcomed] opportunity to give back the love, compassion, and understanding that I have been receiving here through the years. That, more than anything has filled my heart with peaceful moments as well as heartfelt compassion along the way.

Like many angel moms have shared through the years, Father, I still don’t know how I found this prayer circle; especially since I didn’t know dada about surfing the net, or that there was such a thing as online prayer circles. However, through the years, I have come to believe that You, God Almighty, put me in the right place at the right time. :) And once I read a few of the posts and finally figured out how to submit my first post [which I had NEVER done in my life, ha-ha!] I knew that I was hooked, Lord, doing Your work for a lifetime!

Through the years, Father, every bereaved Mom/Dad [who have come here to share their sad story of grief and loss, and also join in praying for others who have walked in their shoes]; All have become as extended family. Through the years, some have not been able to get here often; but they know they will always be remembered in our prayers … and we know they still remember us in their prayers. And for that, I am mighty grateful!

When the world turns cold on us, when dark clouds form and our hearts get heavy, when we’re having a down in the valley day, when we feel the pain is just too much to bear … we have the assurance [always] that some where, there are many, many other Angel Moms/Angel Dads who care about what we are going through and they are praying heartfelt prayers for all 24/7 just as we do for them! For it doesn’t take long to say … “Father, have mercy on all who have lost a beloved child, and give us Your peace.” Amen!

To God be the Glory! You’re all in my thoughts and heartfelt prayers always!

Love & Angel Hugs,
Verna [aka LOVE2U]


Shaner
2/13/2008 10:01

Hi dear Joyce,
I'm so happy for you that you visited your son's grave and felt his spirit surrounding you!! God is so good to grieving Moms, Dads, as I've said many times here, He allows them to come around us to comfort us and let's them leave signs for us, etc., He alone know's intimately about our loss and grief. Nice that you were able to visit his Grandparents too, :-)
Love & Angel Hugs,
Sandy


Shaner
2/13/2008 10:09

Hi my dear Miss V!! Wonderful to see one of your heartfelt posts again and just to hear from you!!
I second and agree with everything you said in your post, you've remained faithful to the Circle and were among one of the firsts to start posting here, what a blessing you have been and continue to be!!
Sheesh, I can't even remember how I found Beliefnet, let alone starting this Circle!!
Next month it will be 9 yrs. since my precious Shane left me and like so many others here, I never thougt I would make it, the pain and grief was so unbearable. Thanks be to God for getting me through those early years, although Shane is on my mind daily and I'll always miss him until we're reunited forever!
Much love & Angel Hugs,
Sandy


alpal
2/13/2008 15:36

Shaner, thank you for your post to me. I know that you still have times of difficulty but it is wonderful to know that God is with us. When I look at Allen's picture on the wall and he is smiling I can't help but smile back, he had such a contagious smile. I pray that God will continue to heal and bless you and all the others here at this site. You know as I sit here and ponder how I got to this site I do not remember either, so it had to be spirit led and here we are. The true prayer warriors that God intended us to become. Joyce


jpot
2/16/2008 00:28

Hi Everyone:

Just dropping by to say I haven't forgotten anyone here. My life is extremely busy these days and B'Net has not always been cooperative when I tried to post. Hopefully, this will post.

I see lots of new faces, which means our circle has grown again. That's both sad and encouraging. Sad that you need us for what you're going through. Encouraging that you found us and the strength you can receive. As Sandy has said many times, this is a very safe place to vent.

Right now my life is a roller coaster again. I have a new job which right now I'm not sure I fit in there. It's like going back to school, but much harder, at least for me. Not so sure it was the right move to go full time, but my other job wasn't giving me many hours. Mike is also having a tough time finding work. I'm fighting another infection, which has me physically exhausted and hurting. On the bright side Mike and I start pre-marital counseling on Wed. Last Wed we had dinner with the counselors. I'm excited about the wedding but scared at the same time. I guess that is normal, even at my age! Next month will be the year anniversary of Gram's passing. That year just flew by. There are still so many time I just want to pick up the phone and chat with her.

Chris, I will pray you get that job. That's the type of job I went to school for but can't find any positions here where I don't have to be bilingual. I feel like I settled for something less than my calling. If I ever find an open door in social services for women, you better believe I'll walk through it.

Sandy, that article was beautiful. So many parents have the guilt trip for grieving a child that was lost either before, during or right after birth. A life is sacred and anytime a young one departs this world it's tragic.

The Chicago area (where I'm from) is dealing with another tragedy. The shooting at NIU. My step son went there I think in the 80's. It's just so sad for everyone. Please remember these families in your prayers. I'm praying especially for the parents of the shooter. The father is so upset he begged the media to leave him alone. Not only do they have to grieve the lost of their son, but also carry the burden of what he did. Sometimes life is just too sad. Saying that, this isn't our final destination and one day there will be no more tears. That's where my hope lies, there is more than this world to look forward to. I know it has been said many times here that God is still in control. My friend reminds me that God doesn't have V-8 moments when He is thinking "why did I allow that?" Hang in there everyone, God is still on the Throne and His Spirit is amongst us. Love and gratitude to all, Jane


travling thru
2/17/2008 10:57

Shaner, it will soon be nine years since your son went to be with the Lord. March 15th, will be a day of remembering the great things and times you had with your son. Let us unite our prayers, Dear Father in heaven, we thank you for the twenty four years that Shaner had the honor and privalige of having her son with her, and though we do not understand the whys in this life we know dear Lord that you know what is best for us so we ask you to comfort encourage and lead Shaner in her daily life, may she blessed and pray for others who share this life changing experience with others, let us not look back but thank God for oppertunities in the future to comfort others and pray together for them we thank you dear father for all you are and will do in the life of Shaner in Jesus name we ask this LORD


love0722
2/17/2008 15:41

my heart and prayers go out to all parents that lost a child,in 3 in half yrs ive lost 2 of my children my son was 22 and daughter was 20.there are no words to explan the hurt and pain,the lord has gave me strengh and my 2 angels in heaven i know watch over me.

 
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