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Shane Whalen
This Prayer Circle is Dedicated to my son Shane Whalen Who Passed Away On March 15, 1999 at the Age of 24, & All Other Children


Start a prayer circle for bereaved parents who have lost a child.


There are many of us out there who have lost a child, and it is devastating. It changes the outlook on life, plunges you into a depression, and you think that the feelings and thoughts you have nobody else could possibly relate to. I think a prayer circle for bereaved parents would only benefit us and help us on our journey of grief. This Circle is one of Love, where a Grieving Parent can safely come to for Prayers, and to talk about their feelings.

 
Shaner -10/14/2000
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eaglenest61
11/28/2007 00:34

Please pray for my new friend missingtori. She lost her child some 9 weeks or so and is really having a hard time. The holidays are a tuff pill to swallow...especally when it's your first without your love ones. Missingtore and myself both are going through our first holiday without our babies. Please pray for our strength to carry on. Thank you.


jpot
11/28/2007 00:52

Hi Everyone,
Wow, lots of new people tonight. Welcome to Kagan, Geralyn and Joyous. It is always with sorrow that we welcome you to our unique prayer circle, because we know what it has cost you to become a member here. I am so sorry for all your losses. Kagan, your loss of precious Kagan is so recent. We do pray for your family, children are left so vulnerable when a sibling dies. Joyous, you're almost through with the "firsts." I wish I could tell you that it will get better from now on. Your grief journey is still very new. That's what grief is, a journey to healing. Please feel free to post anytime, It really does help. We can't carry you, but we will help you walk the difficult journey. Geralyn, 16 years, I imagine at times it seems just like yesterday. Yes, Jesus does carry us through our suffering. All of us can't wait for the day when we are reunited with our loved ones who passed ahead of us. I hope you continue to post here because I believe you can offer hope to those freshly bereaved. We keep a list of all birthdays and heaven dates of our children. Then Chris lists them each month and we try to remember to post to that person and lift them up in prayer. If you want to be included please list your dates.

Kesha, thank you so much for your heartfelt prayer. We so appreciate when someone pops in with a prayer for us.

I just popped in to ask for prayer for Charlene. She's under the weather both physically and emotionally.

I'm also under the weather tonight. I don't know if I'm getting sick or it's my allergies kicking in real bad tonight. I had to leave my group because I suddenly felt very ill. It could be that I'm allergic to cats and my allergy shot was on Tues last week. Usually it's Thur and on Tues it still has power. Don't know right now. I do know I'm going to bed. Love and gratitude to all, Jane


jpot
11/28/2007 00:54

Hey Bill,
You and I were posting at the same time. Of course Tori and both you and Julie are in our prayers. It will be a tough season for you. See you on the DG tomorrow. Love and (((hugs))), Jane


lktigergirl9406
11/29/2007 14:41

Like many of you I lost a child as well. My daughter passed away August 24, 2007. She was 11months and 20 days old. They still do not know what caused her death. It is only because of the Lord God that I am standing. He is the only reason that I get through each and everyday. So I will remember all of you in my prayers. I pray that you do the same for me. I pray that God blesses each and everyone of you. I also pray that he brings you peace and healing in your lives.- Sarah


jpot
11/29/2007 17:19

Dear Sarah,
I am so sorry to hear of your daughter's passing at such an early age. My daughter Elizabeth died at 8 weeks from SIDS. This is a safe place to post anything you would like to. There must be so many conflicting feelings you are experiencing. I agree with you that is it only the Lord God that keeps us going. It's a day by day process in the beginning. Love and hugs, Jane


swtjesus
11/29/2007 19:27

Hello my name is Sister Detra, I will continue to pray for you and your love ones, and always remember Jesus Christ loves and so do I. May the Lord God be with you and yours.


smile
11/29/2007 20:24

Sarah, and others, Please post your daughters name, your loved ones did not just disapear. I like to know their name. I have added your info to the list and also your daughters birthdate I would like to add that also. Not only their anniversary date and holidays are hard but their birthday we like to recognize as a valley day (sad day).
Welcome new people. Yes it is a hard way to get to this site. Allthough sometimes I read of someone just passing through and know hard it must be to lose a child, they get to come and go. We however are part of this group forever. I think of it like the song "Hotel California". "You can checkout anytime you want but you can never leave!"
No matter how old they are, from the time of conception on, it makes no difference on the pain. I met an older lady who was in her 60's and her her son who was like 40 had died, we talked about the pain and it was no different with her adult child as it is with a stillborn or misscarraige.
This is truely a site where after a time you will feel confortable being. I come to say things are good and come to ask for prayers for a good friend or a loved one in need. I come when I have a deep valley day, I come just to read, and not post. I know they are here and will listen with open hearts and open ears, no matter what, no matter when, no matter the subject. We all believe in heaven and god (I think)or we would not have found this site. Its ok to be mad at god, its ok to wonder, to ask why me? It's ok to go up and down. That's the way grief works. It's a journey, we all do it a little different and at a differnt pace but it takes time.
I hope you all have a good Christmas, and try to remember that God lost his child too! Love Chris


lktigergirl9406
11/29/2007 21:51

Thank you Jane for your words of wisdom. And I really appreciate your prayers. Sarah Kay


eaglenest61
11/30/2007 23:03

Thank you Jane for your kind words. Sarah Kay, I will be praying for you as well. Unfortuantly, we are thrown into this nightmare together...I thank God under the circumstances, we have met. I will lift you up in prayer that God will give you strength to endure.
Chris, my children's names were; Brad, my son; Samantha, my daughter -n- law, and Chris; my son in my heart. They were killed in a car wreck on Oct. 6, 2007 by a drunk driver. Thank you for what you are doing. Be blessed my friends, have a wonderful weekend. Goodnight.


smile
12/1/2007 15:20

Sometimes I wish Stephanie was killed by a drunk driver. It would give us a mission, a purpose to it all. But no It was "just an accident". Nothing left to go after, to fight for. You know what I mean? I am a domestic violence survivor and I volunteer one week of the month to them. I figure it all happened for a reason. without a purpose it seems needless, you know? I know she was angel sent by god to touch everyone she ever met, but still that does not always seem like enough. With mom and dad gone and steph gone and mikes mom still in the hospital, I'm having a hard time being sheerful this year.


MissVClay
12/2/2007 06:18

Hello angel moms, ~ Sorry to be MIA for such a long time, but thanking God that I am able to submit a short post again. First, a warm welcome to our new angel moms. I have not had a chance to catch up on reading back posts other than this current page, but judging from the ones I've read I can tell there are quite a few new members. I agree that it is always with sadness that we welcome our new angel moms/dads to our circle of love/support/understanding/and heartfelt compassion. It is indeed a unique club that no one wants to become a member of, but once God leads us here, we are members forever. I've been a member for several years now and like most have testified many times, I still don't know how I happened up on this wonderful prayer circle. I will forever believe God led me here. God knew I needed all the help and support I've received here. I agree with one of our dear sisters who has said many times, the support I've received here literally helped to save my life. There were many, many days as I began my journey when I was so angry at God and confused, ... in a fog until I couldn't even pray. And even after eleven years now, there are days when I still miss my Diane so very, very much. And although my grief has settled in somewhat - no longer 24/7, - over the years, special days/holidays are still so difficult. But thank God, due to the prayers that were prayed for me when I was too angry and convinced I didn't want to go on living, I made it through those difficult hours, days, and the first few years. So, to our new angel moms/dads, I'd like to encourage you to hold on to God, and let us who are a bit farther along storm heaven with prayer for you. The day will come when all that you are feeling in your heart will not be so intense. But it does take a lot of time, and prayers. It helps to know that God is on our side and sad with us. We will never know on this side of heaven why bad things happen to us and our loved ones, but our faith in a loving God, our Father, will see us through. Just hold on to your faith that we will see our children again someday when our work here is through. Much love, and (((HUGS))) from heaven,
Prayerfully yours,
Verna


LOVESHINES
12/2/2007 13:45

Dear Lord I ask and come to you in prayer and ask that all these people who are dealing with these loved ones and friends passing that they be comforted during this time please enter into their hearts and and help them be an example for others who have lost a dear one in Jesus name I pray Amen


deaconmona
12/2/2007 20:48

i too lost a child, my daughter teresa was33 years old when she died of lupus she left behind 2 sons who were 11 and 13 at the time. she died april 14,2004
all i know is there is a hole in my heart that will never go away,i know that because of god,my pastor, my family and my church family it gets better day by day. i have learned not to dwell on how she died but how she lived, satan wants to keep you bound in your loss.just keep looking to god and he will give you the strength that you need. this too shall pass. my pastor says all the time weeping may endure for a night,but joy comes in the morning and morning always comes, be blessed


deaconmona
12/2/2007 20:53

i would like prayer for my grandson whois in iraq. he is 20 years old,married with 2 small children. his name is vincent edward smithers. please keep him in prayer and all of our service men and women who are over there.


jpot
12/3/2007 01:09

Hi Everyone,
Verna, so good to see a post from you. I pray you are feeling better. Deaconmona, I am so sorry for your loss. I also have Lupus and it does occassionally scare me that a major attack could end my life. I know my days are in God's hand and if He chooses that's the way Home, so be it. I will definitely pray for Vincent. War is so hard on everyone.

I needed to check in tonight with everyone because I am not well again and will see the doctor tomorrow. The asthma is pretty bad and this time he might put me in the hospital again. It seems when he does that before I get critical, I spend much less time in and the recouperation time is less. Don't know which way he will go tomorrow. Also the stomach episode came back on Thursday. Sometimes life just gets harder, but we all do get through it. This is just a bad time of the year for me to be in the hospital and work retail. However, I will follow his advise. June is coming and I want to be at my best! Please remember me in your prayers. Love and gratitude to all, Jane


Shaner
12/3/2007 10:17

Hello Everyone! I've been MIA too long, but it couldn't be helped. I was very busy with the Forums I Moderate and then I caught a bug...feeling better now though. YES, a big, open-arms welcome to the new Moms, Dads, you have indeed found the right place for support, understanding, compassion and love, prayers. There is never any judging here, you can safely let out your feelings and be honoured for them!
This is also a multi-faith Circle, everyone, Christian and non-Christian are all welcome here!!
Sadly, I received an e-mail from a Mom who was really hurting...and we all know how she feels, but she said she didn't feel comfortable posting at the Circle because it was a Christian one and she's Jewish. I assured her that ALL are welcome here, its just that the majority of Moms who post are of varying Christian faiths.
With the Holidays approaching so fast, I know most are in the valley, its such a hard time of year for the bereaved and newly bereaved especially. For those who are experiencing their 1st Christmas without their child, my heart is with you, we decided the first year not to celebrate it, but please, do whatever it takes and however you want to mark the Season, there are no rules for how to handle it, do what feel's right for you. After 8 yrs., I still don't like the Season, I'm always conscious of that empty chair. So our Christmas is very low-key, spending it with our other son and his wife. This year we'll be celebrating it early again, on Dec.15th, Chris & Jialing are leaving for China on the 20th so it kinds take's some of the 'edge' off it for us.
Please, keep posting, you're doing yourself a world of good by letting your pain out or by venting, as we've all said, this is a very safe place to do so.
My love & utmost prayers are with all,
Sandy


Shaner
12/3/2007 14:52

Hello All,
This is something that Compassionate Friends started a few years back and its a wonderful way to connect globaly with all Parents who've lost a child or children. It's also a very nice way to honour your own child,







Held annually the second Sunday in December, this year December 9, The Compassionate Friends Worldwide Candle Lighting unites family and friends around the globe in lighting candles for one hour to honor and remember children who have died at any age from any cause. As candles are lit at 7 p.m. local time, hundreds of thousands of persons commemorate and honor children in a way that transcends all ethnic, cultural, religious, and political boundaries.


sterling
12/4/2007 21:45

I lost my son and best friend, Brian September 8, 2006 at the very young age of 27. My heart grieves with and for all of you that experience this horrible pain. The loss is one that words cannot describe. My life is so numb and void. Everything is so surreal. I only exist now. To move forward is only a behavior that is expected and told that I must perform. I do ask God to help all of you as you try to go on, for I know all too well that is all that I am able to do. The heartbreak is oh so heavy. The Lord keep us safe and strong.


Shaner
12/5/2007 08:59

Hello sterling,
We welcome you to this Circle of Love with open arms.....like everyone though, we're so sorry for the reason why.
Your loss is so recent, God love you, your pain and grief must be so raw and biting right now. The 1st year after I lost my Shane, I was like a walking zombie, just going through the motions, but I know that God was there to help me too. Its such a complicated grief that brings up so many, many emotions, some we didn't even know we had.....I thought I was going crazy until a Bereavement Counsellor assured me what I was feeling was normal. The very same applies to you. And this is your first Holiday Season without your beloved Brian there with you...that's also very difficult to go through. I really hope you'll post again, this is a very safe haven to let your feelings out and be honored for them, in return you'll receive our understanding, compassion, love and prayers as we all walk this Journey of Grief together.I truly hope you will and thank you for your prayers,
Love & Angel Hugs,
Sandy


lktigergirl9406
12/5/2007 12:59

Dear Chris,
Once again thank you for your words of encouragement.My daughter's name was Gabriella Hope. I called her Gabby for short. She was born on September 4th 2006. She was born on laborday that year. Even though the pain is sometimes more than I can bare, I thank the Lord daily for the time thant I got to spend with my precious baby girl. We actually thought that she was a stillborn child at first. But God allowed me to hold and cherish her for 11months adn 20 days. I am grateful. And I know in time my cross wont be so heavy to bare. So thank you for all of ytour prayers. For you all are in mine.I hope that everyone has a nice work week.- Sarah kay


sterling
12/5/2007 22:39

Sandy,
Your post to me has come as a light in this darkness...aimlessly wandering is exactly right, dead inside and out. No one except for those of us really understands. I have oh so needed like minds and hearts to share this travesty with and I have to say God lead me to this site....as a nurse, I was well trained in the stages of death, I had to console grieving family members....why has it not helped me? My mind is void, racing, lost, screaming all at the same time. Peace would be nice. It feels great to be able to share these emotions and not feel like someone is going to say, "now you just have to accept it and move on." This black hole of pain is swallowing me up, my soul cries to God. You have been an encouragement. God lift all our hearts.
Deana


Shaner
12/6/2007 12:37

Hi Deanna,
I'm so happy you wrote back and thank you for the kind words. Its just too lonely a road to walk it alone, at least here, you have company on your Journey. Yes, truer words were never spoken, it takes another Mom (or Dad) who's suffered the ultimate of losses, to truly understand each other and talk to, without hearing any empty euphemisms. You've probably heard your fair share of them yourself! At first they really bothered me, you're so vulnerable at the beginning, but now I just think to myself'thank God you've never experienced this loss'.
No, you'll never find that here, you can safely let your pain out and be totally understood for it, I promise!
I used to lay awake at nights ans beg God to take me home too, I didn't want to live without my Shane, the pain was all-consuming and it was 24/7. I'm thankful now though that He didn't listen to me, but during that first awful year, that's how I felt. A piece of our heart goes with our child, how could it not. So even though I'm further along the Journey than you, oh, I can still remember that 24/7 pain and sometimes I still feel it, but it doesn't stay for long, eventually I come 'out of the valley' again.
There are so many Moms, myself included, who can't remember how we even found Beliefnet and this Circle, but we all believe that God too has led us here and I'm so happy He did with you too!
What a wonderful vocation to have..a Nurse, helping others as well in their time of grief, losing a loved one. Don't forget though, the ultimate loss has happened to you and right now you're thinking with your heart and not your intellect...you couldn't possibly prepare yourself for this, so don't feel badly about that. Right now you are in that black space, but you need time, plenty of it, your own time, not someone elses idea of it. You're not alone, there are Moms here that are with you and so is God, whether you can feel Him or not.
Just take it very slow, one step at a time, one hour at a time, one day at a time and remember to be good to yourself, grieving is hard work, emotionally and physically. Its also important to let your pain out, bottling it up is never good, so please, vent, rage, talk about how you feel, we've all done that here! My love and prayers are with you and I know all the others are too, I pray that God in His love for you give's you some measure of peace today,
Love & {{Hugs}}
Sandy


Shaner
12/7/2007 05:19

Hi my dear sister,
I know its been very rough on you, leading up to today, Solange's Birthday. Happy Birthday Solange, I know you're having such a big party with all the other Angel kids and God, but please come to your mother today and leave one of your feathers, so she'll know. God will get you through today and all the rest of the days during these Holidays and you know that Solange love's you very much!
Love you my dear sister, prayers & Hugs,
Sandy


smile
12/7/2007 23:17

Happy birthday Solange, hope the party is great for you. We are thinking of you and are here helping your mom until you can be together again.

Kimberly, It's been 9 years, The pain of your loss is still very hard to those who are close to you. Your Never forgotten, we are thinking of you and your family today. God bless you Chris

 
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