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Shane Whalen
This Prayer Circle is Dedicated to my son Shane Whalen Who Passed Away On March 15, 1999 at the Age of 24, & All Other Children


Start a prayer circle for bereaved parents who have lost a child.


There are many of us out there who have lost a child, and it is devastating. It changes the outlook on life, plunges you into a depression, and you think that the feelings and thoughts you have nobody else could possibly relate to. I think a prayer circle for bereaved parents would only benefit us and help us on our journey of grief. This Circle is one of Love, where a Grieving Parent can safely come to for Prayers, and to talk about their feelings.

 
Shaner -10/14/2000
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Shaner
11/4/2007 09:43

Hello dear Susan (Greatharvest1), yes a very warm welcome to our Circle of Love. Your post is filled with love and pain, may God bless you too in your own grieving. Mike and his Parents are so very fortunate to have such a loving Aunt in their lives, we don't find that very often, but you're a loving exception!
I'm so sorry to read about losing Mike, I know - we know the terrible 24/7 biting pain your niece (and hubby) are in right now, I wanted to die myself that first awful year and be with my Shane, the pain was so great. Other Mom's will tell you the same.
You can be assured of my prayers for your niece and family and for you too, may God hold you all in His loving arms,
Please post again, we all care,
Love & {{Hugs}}
Sandy
Shane's Mom
05-28-1974
03-15-1999


jpot
11/5/2007 01:26

Hi Everyone,
Tonight I'm coming with a very heavy heart. We went to the wake of the 4 yr old that died as a result of being hit by a car. His mom is still in critical condition, but stable. She is in an induced coma to help her heal. The doctors decided to keep her in the coma and not tell her about her son because they feared she would go into shock and die when she found out. Please pray for this poor mother. Her name is Rocio. She will never have a chance to say her final farewell to her son. Closure for her will be extremely difficult, especially since she will probably never remember the accident.

Also, tonight Mike received a phone call from his daughter. Her mother in law has had a major stroke. She had to be airlifted from a small hospital to a larger one so she could receive the proper care. I don't know anymore details than that because it just happened. Her name is Carolyn. Please pray for that entire family.

An update on Taylor: She did go to Orlando and had two great days. She was able to go to Sea World and Disneyworld. Then she became so weak that she had to be hospitalized in Orlando. She was too weak to fly back when she was scheduled to. She is now at home but will go back to the hospital tomorrow. Right now it is unsure whether she will be admitted or just stay as an outpatient. Her hospital stays now are for pain management only. Hospice is now in charge of her stays. She is really discouraged and tired of all the pain. I want to much to ask Jesus to take her now, but the Holy Spirit has already told me her life has a purpose and when it is finished she will be home. Now I'm praying for God's mercy and grace to be poured over her and her family.

Like I began, my heart is very heavy tonight. I thank God that my faith and trust doesn't come from circumstances around me. It comes from knowing a little of the character of God. He is loving, faithful, merciful, kind and good. Love and gratitude to all, Jane


Shaner
11/5/2007 07:46

Hi dear Jane,
Such sad news! No wonder your heart is heavy. OMG, the poor Mom in the coma, I can only imagine how heavy its going to hit her when she does find out her little one is gone, God love her.
Yes, I pray Carolyn is alright.
I'm happy that Taylor had a few good days on her trip, at least she had some fun before she took sick again. I pray that the remainder of her days are pain-free and filled with God's peace, as well as her family,
Much love & Hugs,
Sandy


Shaner
11/5/2007 07:49

Hi dear Lee Ann,
Thinking of you with love and prayers today on your precious Ryan's Anniversary. May you be surrounded by God's love and feel Ryan's spirit and love with you today,
Much love & Hugs,
Sandy


MissVClay
11/5/2007 08:45

Dear Lee Ann, I join Sandy and all our angel moms in praying for you today, on your beloved Ryan's Anniversary. I pray you will feel that never-ending love bond that Ryan and you will always share. I pray also that you will feel our love and the results of your heartfelt prayers throughout today and in the days ahead.
God's peace and blessings,
Verna


selvam
11/5/2007 13:50

Dear Lee Ann. My heart and prayers are close to you today, may you feel Ryan's presence very close to you today, may you have many signs from Ryan showing you that he is happy and well in Heaven, and that he is only just around the corner, you will be together again, and this time FOREVER. My love and prayers. Selva


smile
11/5/2007 17:38

I can't even begin to put into words the sadness in the circle the last couple of weeks. I will only say that everyone is in my prayers.


jpot
11/5/2007 23:40

Dear Lee Ann,
Sorry to post so late. Had a bad health day again. I have been thinking and praying for you and Ryan today. I pray you are able to feel your Father's comfort and love surround you, not only today but in the season to come. Love, Jane


Shaner
11/6/2007 08:05

Hello All,
I agree Chris, it has been very sad lately and I have another one to post.
Our Anita e-mailed me yesterday for prayers, her hubby's cousin lost 2 of their boys over the weekend, can you imagine? Anita said she was going to post here at the Circle about it, in the meantime we can pray for the family, in their devastating loss,
Much love & Hugs to all,
Sandy


arqt
11/6/2007 12:58

The Holiday Bill of Rights for Those Who are Grieving

1. You have the right to say TIME OUT, anytime you need to. Time out to let up, blow a little steam, step away from the holidays, have a "huddle" time and start over.

2. You have a right to TELL IT LIKE IT IS when people ask, How are you? You have a right to tell them how you REALLY feel, not just what they want to hear.* You need to take care of yourself. Be attuned to your feelings. (*P.S. You also have the right to smile and say you're fine, because telling them how you really feel, isn't worth your time - some people will never understand anyway)

3. You have the right to SOME "BAH HUMBUG" DAYS. You don't have to be "Jolly Old St. Nicholas" all the time. You are not a bad person just because you don't feel like singing Christmas carols all day.

4. You have the right to DO THINGS DIFFERENTLY. There is no law that says you must always do Chanukkah and Christmas the same way. You can send 10 cards instead of 100 -- or no cards at all. You can open presents at somebody else's house. You can do without a tree. You can have a pizza instead of turkey! - the list is endless.

5. You have the right to BE WHERE YOU WANT TO BE. Be at home, or at the relatives or with friends. Be in any city, any state you choose! NOBODY SAID YOU HAVE TO HAVE SNOW TO HAVE CHRISTMAS. There's no law that says you must stay home!

6. You have the right to have SOME FUN. Don't be afraid of what someone will say if they see you laughing and having a good time. Laughter is every bit as therapeutic as tears. If you are doing something that your loved one would have also enjoyed, think of their laughter and feel their laughter inside of you. 7. You have the right to CHANGE DIRECTION IN MID-STREAM. Grief is unpredictable. You may be all ready to go somewhere or do something and be suddenly overwhelmed, immobilized. When that happens it's okay to change your mind.

8. You have the right to DO THINGS AT DIFFERENT TIMES. Go to church or synagogue at a different time. Open presents at a different time. Serve your meal at a different time. Give up and go to bed at a different time. Don't be a slave to the holiday clock.

9. You have a right to REST, PEACE, and SOLITUDE. You don't need to be busy all the time. Take a nap whenever you need one. Take time to pray and meditate to recharge your spirit, it can do you much more good than eating another huge meal.

10. You have the right TO DO IT ALL DIFFERENT AGAIN NEXT YEAR. Just because you change things one year: try on something different, does not mean you have written it in stone. Next year, you can always change it back or do it, in yet, another new way.

1992 Bruce H. Conley


arqt
11/6/2007 13:02

Remember me? LOL!

I have had the darndest time trying to get to the circle and once I find it, having trouble getting signed in?!?!?!

I've actually had some trouble getting out of the valley lately, and haven't been online much.

My heart goes out to all, we know how hard the holidays can be.

I do have a question, though. I keep thinking it will get better with time, but I still have days when it feels like just yesterday. Do any of you have that same problem?

((((HUGS)))) to all!
Donna
Marcus 12/12/01-02/20/02


Shaner
11/6/2007 15:43

Well hello Donna! I remember you, ha, ha, but yes, you've been missed around here! A very good time of year to repost the Holiday Bill of Rights and they are so true.
I found out today that the signing in problem is a glitch that they're working on, so hopefully it'll be resolved soon for all.
I'm sorry to read you've been in the valley, you should have posted here then and just said 'Help' and extra prayers would have been said for you, so please remember that......its what the Circle is for.
Oh yes, there are many, many times when I can be back at square one again, anything can set it off or just the sheer magnitude of it hitting home again that Shane isn't here and I miss him so, so much. Just as you miss your Marcus and that's a very normal reaction to have, so don't worry if you go into the valley every now and then, eventually you come out of it and the sun is shining again.
Now please, don't be a stranger!
Much love & {{Hugs}}
Sandy


burgermom
11/6/2007 15:51

I lost my daughter Tiffany to SIDS when she was 3 months old this was in 1987 I know the feeling of lossing a child my prayers are with you also


jpot
11/7/2007 00:50

Dear Burgermom,
Welcome to our circle and thank you for your prayers. My daughter Elizabeth also died of SIDS in 1979. There are others here also whose child died of SIDS. I'll let them share that with you. Please feel free to post here anytime. We all know even after so many years there are still many times when we miss our children and still question why. You will find love, support and acceptance here. Love, Jane


jpot
11/7/2007 00:57

Dear Sandy,
Does B'Net know that you have to log off if you've been to other sites, so that you can log on here? Took me awhile to discover that. Use to be able to post on the boards then come here. Can't do that anymore. If we come here first, we can post anywhere else on B'Net. Kinda weird.

I had my procedure today and not a lot of new information was gained. Now it's waiting on some biopsies. I did get to sleep a lot today! I learned a new phrase today. "I'm guilty, but not accountabile." Only good for one day, but hey it worked! Blame everything on the meds. Actually we had fun with it. Love and gratitude to all, Jane


tgbeautiful
11/7/2007 09:15

I am sorry for the loss of any child.
i have two young children and i honestly dont know what i would do if i lost them.
i weep and weep for those who have lost and i pray that god will keep us all safe and heal our pain. I will keep praying for everyone.God bless and keep you under his blood and remember that he never gives us more than we can handle.
Keep praying and asking for his
blessings he hears you and he loves you, and he will heal your pain and bless you abundantly.Just keep the faith.keep the faith.God bless and keep us . love you all


Shaner
11/8/2007 07:31

Hi dear Jane,
I don't know, according to the Community Site B'net say's they have the log-in problem's fixed. ?
Happy you're all done with the tests and praying for a good outcome on Monday!
Much love & Hugs,
Sandy


Shaner
11/8/2007 07:43

Hello tgbeautiful,
Thank you for your very loving, moving Post. We're always very touched when someone who hasn't suffered this terrible loss come's here and post's to us, especially with their prayers.
May God Almighty bless you and yours and bestow His Graces upon you all,
Love & {{Hugs}}
Sandy


smile
11/8/2007 22:45

I have also had trouble posting! yea I got through.
To those of you that lost your loving children either before they were born or during the first year, I pray for your strength. I hear people say rediculus things like, you didn't have them long so it's better. or/ they think it don't hurt because they were'nt born yet. Like you don't love your child that you are carrying inside your body? I had three pregnancies and have three children. I have an angel stepdaughter. I can't tell you I know how it feels, because I only know how it hurts to lose my stepdaughter so early. I think it's close because I feel like you all do. It comes in waves and never to be expected. I have cried in stores at the drop of a hat. It comes and goes at any moment. It can be light and brief or hurt so bad that I need to scream to release the pain. Sometimes it lasts a moment and sometimes a week. Sometimes I'm at ease like I feel her with me. I get "signs" that lets me know shes there. But the "what if's" still are hard to bear. The questions like would she be married? Would she be done with school by now. I can picture in my mind what her children would look like. And now I am crying. I pray again for all gods children. I also see children who are not taken care of good or are not loved, and think why? why do their children get to be here and not mine? We do not get to chose, God does! How can there be parents who don't care? They take for granted the gift they recieved. OK I guess I'm done venting. Thanks for listening. Love always, Chris


selvam
11/9/2007 15:42

Hi my dear sisters. I also had some trouble signing in Beliefnet yesterday, but Thank God it looks like they fixd the problem today.
Dear Donna, this time of the year its very hard and all of us, I just wish I could hide in a cave and come out in February, all I keep asking God is for strenght to go through it again,I try not to go to the stores and stay indoors as much as I can, I go out to come to work and then back home, Solange used to enjoy the Holidays so much! now it just hurts too much.This pain will never go away and I don't think it gets better with time, you just learn how to handle it a little better, but the pain , the sadness, the anger and everything else, stays with you, at least, it is still with me and sometimes I just need to let it out no matter where I am, this is a very complicated road my dear sister, just pray for strenght, I will pray for all of us too.
Dear Jane, I am also glad that you are done with the procedures, we will keep on praying so that everything will turn out fine, get as much rest as you can and leave the rest to God, He will be there for you.
Yes dear Chris, the "what ifs" is always there also, and I agree with you, it doesn't matter how long you had your child with you, they are still your children, and it hurts no matter what, I pray that God will help us all through this Holiday Season, may He give us all the strenght to go through it. My love and prayers are with you all. Selva


selvam
11/9/2007 15:46

Hi my dear Angel in Chief. I didn't get to write to Beliefnet but when I tried to sign in today it worked, so lets hope they fixed whatever it was. I am still in the Valley, I can't wait for the Holidays to go away, I remember that The Holiday's Bill of Rights was my Christmas cards to my friends last year, and they all got the message, I managed to have a very quiet Christmas, I am planning to do the same this year. Love you my dear sister who understands so much. Selva


Shaner
11/10/2007 13:39

Hi my dear sister,
Glad you were able to sign in without experiencing problems, I think they're slowly fixing all the remaining glitches.
I know, the Holidays are so, so hard to deal with, the stores here are filled with Christmas decorations and music, so I stay away until I'm ready to get the shopping done in one day.
And you still have your Thanksgiving to get through, glad you're going away for it.
That was a very good idea, putting the 'Rights' into your Christmas Cards, much better than trying to explain what others can't possibly understand anyway. A good idea for newly bereaved Moms to do. Hang in there my dear sister and keep pressing on, my love and prayers are with you,
Much love & Angel Hugs,
Sandy


connie
11/10/2007 13:42

I FEEL FOR ALL OF YOU.I HAVE NEVER LOST A CHILD LIKE YOU ALL HAVE.I ONLEY MISCARRIED AT DIFFERENT STAGES OF PREG. I MISS THEM ALL AS IF I RAISED THEM TILL THEY WERE ALL GROWN UP.BUT I'M THANKFUL FOR THE ONES I CARRED FULL TERM.GOD KNOWS WHAT HE DOINING AND HE WILL NEVER GIVE US MORE THAN WE CAN HANDLE.IF I WOULD TELL SOMEONE WHEN YOU LOOSE A CHILD NO MATTER WHAT STAGE,AGE GRIVE FOR THAT CHILD.REMEMBER THAT CHILD OR LOVED ONE .JUST REMEMBER GOD IS THERE SITTING BESIDE YOU GIVINING YOU SURPORT THAT YOU NEED.THE PAIN NEVER GOES AWAY BUT IT LIGHTINS UP.I MYSELF LOST MY FARTHER-IN-LAW ONE WEEK THE NEXT WEEK I LOST A SET OF TWINS.


margaret
11/10/2007 16:30

this prayer is for a young man named Darrien whom has gone to his God today but also for his mother whom is so devasted she has overdosed whom is now in a life death situation my prayer that Mary our Mother cradles both of them in her arms and shows God's mercy and love until them.

 
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