Prayer Circles

Our dear Kathy, I know you're deep in the valley, I pray your Birthday last Friday was a peace-filled one, but you know by now that if the tears come, let them.
I miss not seeing a post from you, but no pressure, you always have our support, love and prayers,
Much love & {{Hugs}}
Sandy

Hi Everyone,

It sure has been quiet here lately. Kathy, I also miss your posts but understand when you can't. Connie, I won't be in town for your special date, so I want you to know I am praying for you. I also miss your posts. I know awhile back you had computer troubles. Please if you can drop in and tell us how you're doing. We live so close, maybe we can chat. Just drop me an e-mail if you're able to.

To all, as I posted to Connie, Mike and I are going to Indiana tomorrow for the weekend. We would appreciate your prayers that my car makes it there and back with breaking. The last few weeks whenever we had to drive about an hour the car broke down. On August 19 it broke about an hour from home. Mike has friends there so we were able to baby it there. Mike's friend Paul has a son who works on cars. Unfortunately, it took a week to get it back. I have discovered my car is a mechanic's nightmare. It's a 95 with a 96 engine. We had to go to a dealer and have them printout where all the parts are located then drive them that hour back to the mechanic. I really pray we don't get stuck in Indiana.

Otherwise things are going well with me, just busy. Hope everyone has a restful Labor Day weekend. Love and gratitude to all, Jane

VERNA,
You're in my prayers today for peace and comfort. May God surround you today with His presence and give you just what you need for peace. May He let you know that He is with you today.
Love and (((HUGS))),
Charlene

Ah my dearest Miss V,
Time doesn't mean anything when we've lost a precious child and I know you miss your Diane so, so much. I know this has to be a valley day for you but I too pray that God surround's you with His peace today and that you feel your Diane's presence around you.
Love ya my dear Miss V,
Lots of {{Hugs}} too,
Sandy

Hi dear Connie,
Thinking of you with love and prayers on your precious Derrick's special day today. May you feel the warmth of God's love and Derrick's presence around you today,
Love & Angel Hugs,
Sandy

A very Happy, Peace-filled and safe Labour Day Weekend to all, gee, our last long weekend of the summer, kinda sad in a way.....although our weather here is still summer :) and flowers and plants are still thriving.
Parents are busily shopping for last minute back to school items and clothes, here our schools re-open on Tuesday. I'm sure there will be some happy Moms, but it bring's back memories for me getting Chris and Shane ready for another school year.
I really miss those days........
Much love to you all,
Sandy

CONNIE,
I'm sorry I didn't have access to a computer yesterday to post for your special day. I thought about you at various times during the day and prayed for your peace. May God richly bless you!
Love and (((HUGS))),
Charlene

TO ALL,
I'm staying with my mother temporarily and she has a computer but I won't be on it as much as before. I'll try to keep in touch, as I would appreciate your prayers for my marriage. I feel like I'm back at square one in grieving again--the sick at the stomach feeling, an ache so deep that it hurts all of your insides--you all know how that feels. I'm getting good cousel and have many friends and family 'on my side' so that helps a lot. Thank you all for being here and for 'listening'!
Love and (((HUGS))),
Charlene

Ah, that's too bad Charlene.
Heavenly Father, I humbly ask for Your help for Charlene and her husband in their present marital difficulties, they were united by You in this Sacred Bond of unity and love, may love reign strongly again in their marriage. I ask this in Your Son's name, Our Lord and Saviour Jesus, who live's and reign's with You and the Holy Spirit, one God forever and ever, Amen.
Keep your chin up and keep praying yourself, leave it in God's most capable Hands,
Much love & ((Hugs))
Sandy

Thank you SANDY for your prayer! I haven't been home (here at my mother's house) very long; I spent all day in town. I filed for a legal separation and also filed a restraining order against him to let him know that I'm serious about not wanting to live with the abuse any more. I don't know if this will wake him up to what he's doing to me or not, but at least I've finally felt strong enough to oppose him in his control of me. I hope he realizes that I'm not filing for divorce--that's up to him--I just want him to back off and hopefully think about getting counseling either together or separately. I've resisted doing this for a long time--at least 4 years--and I feel such relief tonight that I'll probably go to bed early; hopefully I'll rest better knowing that I've finally taken a stand and done what I feel is right. I'll keep you all posted.
Much Love and (((HUGS))),
Charlene

Hi Everyone,
I had a great trip for Labor Day, despite a broken toe! I broke my baby toe the afternoon before we left. Part of our visit was at a festival, Mike got a wheelchair for me. My car had absolutely no problems. Praise the Lord!

Charlene, I'm sorry the problems in your marriage is escalating. However, I am very proud of you for taking action. It's going to be hard to keep your boundaries, but you know you must. You're definitely in my prayers. I say Amen to Sandy's. Love and gratitude to all, Jane

Dear sisters,

I am finally feeling a little stronger, have been in the valley for some time. I just can't seem to stop thinking about Wes. Maybe he is thinking of me. It seems like I am back to square one with my grief....
Charlene,
I am so sorry about your troubles. You are in my prayers. I am also very proud of you for standing up for yourself. My ex husband was very abusive, verbally and physically and it took me 8 years to work up the courage to leave. He never did learn anything by it but I am hoping that all works out for you.
My prayers are with you all even though you have not seen very much of me here. I still read but it seems everytime I start to post I cry. Today is good, no tears.
Love to all,
Kathy

It took me 20 years! Me and my children are doing great without the torment of our abuser anymore. I now volunteer for Domestic Violence in my area. "They" don't usually change. They believe that they are right and it is usually passed on from generation to generation. Not in my family. My children will not be violent to others. Nor will they tolerate it from another person. We need to work together towards stopping the violence.
We had yet another child death at the hands of its mother. I pray that the violence towards our babys stop today!!!!
I pray for all women enduring domestic violence and that they get out safely. Please lord help our children.
Also as I approch Stephanies days it is already building. It is true that the days leading up to, are worse than the day itself.
God bless you all. Love Chris

Hi our dear Kathy,
I know you're in that dark, deep valley, what you're feeling though is very normal in the grieving process.
It can be two steps forward and then 3 back, that's where you are right now.
Its paiinful, it hurts like nothing else, you're doing the right thing by letting your tears out.
I'm happy for you that you had a good day and could post here, we've been worried about you. Keep hope alive in your heart and know that you will eventually regain those steps! This is such a complicated grief, so many emotions come up that we were never even aware of before.
Keep pressing on holding tightly onto God,
Much love & Hugs,
Sandy

JANE, KATHY, CHRIS,
Thank you all for your encouragement! Chris, I cried when I read your post; all 3 of my daughters have anger and control problems and they're in their late 20s to late 30s. They're not as bad as their dad, but they all have quick tempers and yell at their kids. I feel so bad that I let it go so long that it has affected them. All I can do now is pray for them, that God would soften their hearts; I know I can't go back and undo the past although I'd really like to. I've apologized to them in the past for my anger issues while they were growing up; I realize now that I was just feeding off of my husband's anger and doing what I thought he'd want me to do or what he would tell me to do to them. And the 'church' that I was going to emphasized the 'wives submit' rule so I thought that's what God wanted me to do. I'm sorry that so many of you have gone through abuse, but I'm encouraged by your strength and advice. I'm at one of my daughter's today watching her three little ones, ages 4 and under; I thought it would help me to stay busy until I can get some money and some more of my things from my house. I was so homesick yesterday and really wanted to go home so I got busy on the paperwork that I have to fill out for the legal separation. I took pictures of everything in the house before I left in case he messed up something of mine or tried to blame me for messing up the house before I left. Now I have those pictures to list everything in the house; I don't think I'd remember all of it without the pictures. I need to go; my grandson wants out of his highchair.
Love and (((HUGS))) to ALL,
Charlene

Dear Charlene,
Boy can I identify with the wife submit. Unfortunately, I did the same as you and my children suffered for it. Also my church encourage beatings, not spanking. I had a lot of forgiveness to ask of them. All but one has.

Good thinking of taking the pictures. Now you have proof of what you have. Does he know that you are getting legally separately? If so, what has his response been? I'm glad you're finding places to stay. As far as money, almost all retail stores are hiring for Christmas already. You can try there, most accept you with no experience. At my store, many are kept after Christmas depending on their performance and attitudes. I am still praying for you often. Love, Jane

Hello my dear sisters, ~ I know it’s been a while since I’ve been able to post, but you all have been in my prayers each and every day. Thank you all so much for extra heartfelt prayers you all prayed for me and my family throughout the month of August. They were very much needed and appreciated.

Due to my many health issues, I decided not to do anything special. Each year on Diane’s birthday, I have visited the area where she was killed and placed fresh flowers on the white cross we placed there, and flowers on her grave. This year, we went on the day before her birthday. Cheryl was off work and went with me. It was a warm and beautiful day.

The moment we got near the spot where it once stood, we noticed the cross was no longer there. The city’s work crew apparently had thrown it away when they last cut the grass. Cheryl stopped anyway and we got out and looked around the area but didn‘t find it, so we both went back to the spot where the cross had been and said a prayer, told Diane we were there, wished her happy B-Day, and hugged each other.

Then, all of a sudden about 4 or 5 bright yellow butterflies surrounded us and began fluttering around the area where we were standing.! We just looked at them and then at each other and smiled, and Cheryl said, “Oh Mama … Diane knows we are here!” I just said, “Yes, she knows, … and so does God!” As we stood there in awe, we looked down where the cross had stood, and there were little purple wild flowers beginning to grow all around the area where Diane’s cross had been! So we hugged again!

I was facing the wooded area about 30 or 40 ft. from the highway and Cheryl was facing the highway. Cars and trucks were zooming by like bats out of hell. We stepped back a bit to make sure we didn’t get knocked down by the force of the wind. When I looked back at the area where the trees were, there was the biggest swarm of yellow butterflies I’d ever seen … just fluttering away! I then pointed and said, “And, so does all our Angel Kids - [They knew we were there, too!]” Talk about lifting our spirits!

By this time, as we began to walk back to Cheryl’s car, we noticed a car pull up and stop. Two men got out and came toward us; one older about 50 or 60, and one fairly young who appeared to be in his mid 20‘s. The older guy had his cell phone in his hand and after introducing himself, asked if they could be of help. [They thought we had car trouble.] I just smiled through bitter/sweet tears, mixed with JOY; shook my head and told Cheryl to explain why we were there. But Cheryl is a talker, so she told them all that had happened; the missing cross, the new growth of flowers, and the unexpected butterflies showing up just for us! I know they probably thought we were missing some marbles upstairs! Ha-ha! After expressing their sorrow for our loss, and agreeing that it was most likely the grass cutters that moved the cross, we thanked them, said our goodbyes, and they returned to their car and we returned to ours.

It was then that I noticed their car had a Missouri license plate. My youngest brother, Charles, whom we lost July 1, 2001,the year after my mother died, lived in Kansas City, Missouri at the time of his death. I then said to Cheryl, “I guess Charles wanted to let us know that he is alive and well in heaven too!” Needless to say, all that happened made our day … the day of our “missing cross” easier to bear! End of rambler!!!
Love and Angel Hugs,
Verna [aka Miss V.]

Dear Verna,
That was a beautiful experience. Thank you for sharing it with us. It's been my experience that God often uses nature to show me His love and His Presence. I'm so glad that Cheryl was able to experience that also. I pray that your health issues are resolved quickly. Love, Jane

Thanks for the story! It makes me feel good that these things happen to other people too. It happens to me all the time. I'm so glad you got the confirmation you need. God bless Chris

Oh my dear Miss V, what a beautiful and amazing affirmation for you! I know you must have been sad to pull up to the spot and not see the Cross there, but look at what you received instead, God's love for you and Diane's sign to say, "Its OK, Mom".!
Everything just fit together perfectly
for you and rue too, how awesome is that. That wasn't a Rambler, :), (sure do miss them) I'm so thrilled for you that the day turned out the way it did for you! (and Rue too of course),
Much love & Angel Hugs,
Sandy

VERNA,
What a WONDERFUL experience! It brought the tears but also joy to my spirit to read about your experience that day. Yes, God was and is with you (and all of us) each and every day--through the bad as well as the good times--and He is the One who will sustain us and give us strength as we travel on this journey called LIFE. Thank you for sharing your day with us and giving us a good word picture of what happened.

JANE,
Thank you for your reply. Today I'm staying with friends here in Joplin to save on gas from traveling back and forth about 20 miles (one way) from my mother's house to here every few days. My husband did not file for divorce, but has agreed to the legal separation. BUT!!!! He's not agreeing that I can go back home and get anything, including warmer clothes or food, unless I cancel the restraining order. He has already been seen driving by my mother's house several times a day--which he's not supposed to do--and he has even admitted that he's done that. There's no way I'm going to cancel the restraining order on him if he's already violating it; there's no telling what he'll try to do if I let him near me. All the clothes I have with me are lightweight summer clothes that I grabbed the day I left; the days and nights are getting cooler here already so I need some warmer clothes. He's also denying me access to a lot of other things in the house--I think it's so he can still show his control over me. I really believe that's why he's not wanting a divorce, so he can still try to control me. And money is urgent for him right now so I think that's another reason he doesn't agree to a divorce. He has cancelled all our credit cards, our checking acct. and our savings acct. I was able to withdraw enough money (before he did that) to pay my lawyer and get around $200.00 cash. But now that's all the money I have and I'm really trying to conserve it. Gas is not cheap right now so that's why I'm staying in Joplin as much as I can so I can still go to church and not have to travel so far. As far as getting a job, I wouldn't want to be living at my mother's house and drive the 40+ miles round trip each day; I'd really rather be living here in town someplace before I try to find a job here. I meet with my lawyer again tomorrow to review my husband's 'demands' and make a reply to them. Please continue to pray that I will hear God's voice as He gives me wisdom and courage to face the 'giants' that are coming against me. I have wonderful, loving Christian friends who are supporting me (including you all) and that helps a lot!
Love and (((HUGS))),
Charlene

Dear Charlene,

I'm glad you have loving support around you. Whatever you do, do not go back to your house alone, for any reason. Your lawyer should be able to advise you on the safe way to get your belongings. My suggestion is having the local police escort you and stay with you while you get what you need. Like you said, he is already breaking the restraining order. The more control he loses over you, the less control he will have towards himself. In other words, it could get dangerous for you. If I were you, I would not let him know where I was staying. Also, let the lawyers talk to each other. The less contact you have with him right now, the better off you are. Sis, you're really in my prayers. Love, Jane

Oh, Charlene. I haven't been on here in so long and I've missed so much! I am so sorry it's come down to this. But, good for you for taking a stand. I have to agree with Jane. Coming from an abusive marriage myself, it's best if you stay away from him as much as possible!! I know it's hard when you don't have the things you need from home. Believe me, I know!! I lived out of a trash bag for 3 months. I am praying for you and your husband. I know how it can be when you move out and they feel they are losing that control that they love. It's awful. Jerry always broke the restraining orders I placed on him. He even went so far as to come to my house and beg to speak with me. God is with you and so are we!!!!

Miss V--what a lovely experience, with the butterflies. How amazing. I'm so glad that you were able to see that your sweet Diane was there and that she is fine!!! God is so good.

Jane--Congratulations!!! I am sooo happy for you. I will keep you and Mike in my prayers.

To all my sisters--I've been gone for a while. I have had a busy summer. I was also down in the dumps for a while-I was having a really hard time thinking about my step-daughter, Casey, and my little brother, Lewis. I was pretty much having a month long pity party for myself. But, I am much better now. My brother's birthday is November 11. So, I am sure I will be "down" around that time. It would be his 21st birthday. Anyway, I'm sorry I've been gone so long. I still kept you in my prayers and thoughts. Please know that I love you all and I'll try not to be a stranger.
God Love you all,

Margie.

Dear Margie,
Welcome back! Pity parties are ok for awhile, but they do become very lonely. WOW Nov 11, that would have been my grandfather's birthday. He died like a week short of it about 10 yrs ago. I don't remember the exact date cuz I was pretty messed up at the time. I do remember when my brother would have turned 21, two years after his death. It was a painful day. There are certain birthdays, what I call milestones that just seem so much harder. The 21st is one of them. My brother died in a hiking accident I think 26 yrs ago. I'm having a hard time getting the exact date, no one seems to remember, which is very strange to me. I moved away when he was 9, but all the "little kids", that what we called my younger siblings were very close and depended on each other for survival. I would think they would remember the date. We all know what we were doing when we recieved the news. By the way thank you for the congratulations.

Kathy, I know you're still having a hard time, but I miss those Friday posts. I pray your spirit lifts before the dreaded holidays, that you get a little break from those valley days.

Charlene, how's it going? I know you have a hard time posting right now, but it's scarry not hearing from you for days cuz of the situation you find yourself in. Please know you are in our prayers.

Seems like a lot of people are MIA right now. I pray that means you're just busy and not in the valley.

My weekend was ok. Had a rough night Friday with another episode with my stomach, the worst ever. I'm calling the GI this morning to make an appointment. Saturday was spent just resting. Sunday went to church then just chilled out the rest of the day. Tomorrow it's back to work. I'm expecting a call right now from my "wellness" nurse. Medicare assigned me one last year. She calls every two weeks except on holidays. I haven't heard from her in four weeks cuz the last call fell on Labor Day. Not sure why I need one, but she's a good resource. Unfortunately, the one I made a bond with left, so I'm starting over with someone new. Such is life, people come in and they go, usually they enrich our life in someway. So I'm grateful for the time I had with my former nurse. NTG for now. Love and gratitude to all, Jane