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Shane Whalen
This Prayer Circle is Dedicated to my son Shane Whalen Who Passed Away On March 15, 1999 at the Age of 24, & All Other Children


Start a prayer circle for bereaved parents who have lost a child.


There are many of us out there who have lost a child, and it is devastating. It changes the outlook on life, plunges you into a depression, and you think that the feelings and thoughts you have nobody else could possibly relate to. I think a prayer circle for bereaved parents would only benefit us and help us on our journey of grief. This Circle is one of Love, where a Grieving Parent can safely come to for Prayers, and to talk about their feelings.

 
Shaner -10/14/2000
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shaner
2/28/2002 14:00

Yvonne, (dovesfromheaven) you are so very welcome, I am so humbled that God whispered in my ear to start this Circle, it has blessed me and helped me as much as it has anyone else. All glory goes to Him, I'm only His instrument here at this Circle, it belongs to everyone! Yes, here you can be 'yourself' and talk freely about how you feel, and your feelings will be honoured. It is so difficult for others to understand what we go through, but in all fairness to them, how could they understand unless it's happened to them. So hear you can talk about your grief, and know it's a safe haven for your feelings. I'm so happy that you've been blessed by the many prayers here and those of others, Our Lord does look after us in our sorrow. May He continue to bless you and the other moms here, and may He continue to bless this Circle.
Luv Sandy


maggierose4
2/28/2002 15:59

May the Lord bring comfort to you and all who have lost a child. I still pray for peace, after losing my oldest son 8 weeks ago to suicide. There is nothing to fill the hole in my heart, and there are too many questions I seek answer to. Please if you have the strength, pray also for me and my family. Without my faith I don't think I could have survived this far. In God's Love...Joni


eudora
2/28/2002 17:44

Dear Sandy,I read your post to Tammy and my heart goes out to you.My prayers will be with you on the anniversary coming up.I know it is so painful for you to have to put a memoriam in the paper,but i know you want your special Shane remembered.And it is hard not to have valley days sometimes,we can't be up all the time.We do okay but then that hurt comes back of not having our children,so you are intitled to a valley day.But please know that i love and care for what you are going through.You help us all so much and it is so appreciated.It surely is a joy to have Tammy.She is so precious.What she wrote at Carol's site about her little girl brought me to tears.She is so special and i am also glad she is here.God bless you,Sandy.My thoughts are with you.Love,Barb


shaner
2/28/2002 19:01

Oh, Joni, (maggierose4), I'm so very sorry about your son. And just 8 weeks ago, God bless you, you must still be in such shock and disbelief, and a lot of pain. A big part of ourselves goes with our child when they pass, so all of us can relate to the hole in your heart. Give yourself plenty of time to grieve, it's going to take a while. And your's is so very recent. There is no timetable for grief, so just let yourself grieve at your own pace. The worst pain a parent can ever experience is the loss of a child, it brings up emotions in us that are very difficult to handle. I'm so happy to hear that you have your faith to lean on, lean heavily on Our Lord, He shares your pain along with you. I truly hope you have a good support system of family and friends, we need a lot of help, particularly in the beginning. Read everything you can on the loss of a child, especially one to suicide. Or perhaps join a support group in your area with other moms who've experienced a loss. We have to talk about the pain, the more we let it out, the better it is for us. You can always post here at this Circle anytime you want, whether for prayers, or just to talk about how you're feeling, all of us here honour everybody's grief. You're definitely in our prayers, Joni, and may the peace that only Our Lord can give, be with you and your family.
May God bless you all,
Luv Sandy


shaner
2/28/2002 19:14

Hi eudora, thank you so much for your kind words, you're such a sweetheart. I thank you so much for your prayers. No, we can't be 'up' all the time, everybody has their 'valley' days. One of mine was today. But when I come here, I always feel better. We're so blessed to have each other to pick us up when we're feeling down. My heart goes out to Joni, who is just beginning her Journey. Yes, Tammy posted at Shane's Memorial Site what her little Kaitlyn had prayed for and lit a candle for, and like you, I started to cry. What a special little girl, and a loving testament to Tammy and her husband. I showed it to my husband also, and he was deeply touched.
Thanks once again, Barb, for your prayers, and you know mine are with you also.
Luv Sandy


eudora
2/28/2002 19:43

Dear Maggierose4, I am so very sorry about the loss of your precious son such a short time ago.I know your heart is broken.It takes part of us when we lose our children.And it surely does leave a hole in our heart.Keep leaning on God.He will see you through your terrible grief.Like you said we could not survive without him.I will pray for you and your family for peace and to bring you to the time when the pain is bearable.We all know how you feel and we truly care.Please keep posting here.You will find a lot of love here and a place where you can pour out your heart.We all listen to each other and always try to comfort each other.God be with you,Joni. Love,Barb


maggierose4
2/28/2002 21:10

Dear Sandy and Barb,
Thank you both from the bottom of my heart, for reaching out to me in a way I just can't describe right now. I'm still crying as I write this. This is the first time I've talked with anyone who has shared a similar loss. I try so hard to be strong for my other children, my husband, and the rest of my family. They want to make sure I'm O.K....and I am...but then again I'm not. I have days that I can see sunshine, and then times like today that only bring guilt, regrets, and feeling of total failure. Will my other children go down the same road?? So many questions.. the majority of Chad's life (he was 19), I was a single mother. I just remarried in August. All those years my biggest prayer to God was that He be their Father, and to watch over them when I couldn't. I want so much to believe that He didn't let go of Chad in the end. But then I wrestle with the lessons I was taught in the church of what happens when one takes their own life. It's so confusing. The Lord I know and love just couldn't let him go anywhere other than Home in Heaven, could he? I'm sorry, I guess I got a little carried away..but to everyone who reads this and all the messages in these pages, may God give you each an extra blessing. And may a league of angels guard over you and your families. God bless you for offering such a special place Sandy. You've helped me feel Gods love again. Bless You! Love, Joni


shaner
3/1/2002 08:52

Hello Joni, (maggierose4), we're so happy that you found this Circle, and very humbled that our words touched you so. Feelings of guilt are very normal, even moms who've lost their children to illness or accident, have feelings of guilt. We're supposed to protect our children, but we couldn't protect them from death. So don't let guilt drag you down. Everything you're feeling right now is very normal in the grieving process. It takes a lot of time, as I said before. I don't believe for one second that Our Heavenly Father 'let go' of Chad at the end. Only God knows the heart and mind of a person, and if Chad was that depressed, then Our Father knew that. I believe that Chad is in Heaven, free now of his illness, for that's what depression is. I'm so happy that Our Father used me to help you feel His love again, and may you continue to feel that love! Our continued prayers go out to you, and thank you for your own prayers for all of us. Please post back anytime you feel like it, Joni, as eudora (Barb) said, you'll feel a lot of love and understanding here from this Circle. May you have a 'sunshine' day today, and please, keep leaning heavily on God, He loves us all so much!
Luv Sandy


hothoosiers
3/1/2002 17:49

Dear Shaner:
Thank you so much for your post with such kind words toward me and my family. I know that my experience in loss is "small" compared to others that post here, but you and others have always been so kind in comfort and advice. I am glad that you appreciate my posts and think they are helpful to you and others. I just feel so drawn to the people that come here. Maybe that is the Lord working through me. I hope so, because it makes me feel so good to be a part of something that is so helpful to many that are feeling helpless and hopeless. Also, I am so sorry for the tough time you are going through right now. How hard it must have been for you to go to the newspaper for the 3 year memorial of your Shane's death. Please know that I will continue to pray for you and your family.
Dear melhill90:
Please know how sorry I am for the tremendous loss you and your family has experienced in such a short amount of time. How awful to lose a child. You may not have given birth to those children, but you were their mother. What a kind and wonderful person you are to accept a child into your life. You will be prayed for here by me and so many others. I hope that you find the comfort that I have, the mothers and other family members that post here are extraordinary people that care deeply for you. Please know how special you are to that 9 year old son that you have! There are so many children in this world that need families. God bless you for adopting them. You truly are an inspiration.
Dear maggierose4:
I am so sorry for the loss of your son only 8 weeks ago. The pain you must be feeling is indescribable. Please know that I will be praying for you and your family. I truly believe that the Lord knows the pain that your son was in and most definately welcomed him into the Kingdom of Heaven where he is in no more pain and watching over you and the rest of your family. Jesus said on the first Easter, "I am the resurrection, and the life; he that believeth in me, though he were dead, yet shall he live."
I will pray for you and your family.

Love always to all who post here and those going through these terrible tragedies yet to find this site.
Tammy Cooper
jaycee5@bellsouth.net


eudora
3/1/2002 17:56

Dear Joni,I am so glad we could help you and give you some comfort.Joni,i was taught the same thing in church about when someone takes their life and it is something i don't agree with.And i know our loving Father did not let Chad go.Like Sandy said he knows the heart and mind and your Chad is in Heaven free from whatever was hurting him.Please try not to burden yourself with guilt and regrets.Sometimes things happen that are out of our control.I am sure you were a great Mother.But i also know how things get in our heads that are hard to deal with.But God will help you,just keep holding on to him.And you will have more days of sunshine and the peace of knowing your precious Chad is in Heaven.Because he surely is.Our God is a good God.He loves all of his children and he knows none of us are perfect.My prayers are with you Joni and God bless you.Love,Barb


shaner
3/1/2002 19:48

Hello Melanie, (melhill90), I'm so sorry for not responding to your post, I didn't realize that you had posted until Tammy (hothoosiers) posted to you, I thought page 41 was filled.
You've also suffered from losing children, however unique those circumstances are. They were your children, and they meant the world to you and your husband. It must have been very painful, especially after losing the first, to then have the second one taken away, ripped from your heart, a kind of death in a way. Special people adopt children, so you are blessed to have your nine year old!
You'll always have a place in your heart for your other two children, and you'll never forget them, God love you, but you will see them again one day!
May God bless your wonderful family, and help you with your pain as only He can. Our prayers are with you,
Luv Sandy


eudora
3/2/2002 11:50

Dear Melanie,I am also sorry about not posting to you.The same as Sandy i thought the page was filled.When i read Tammys post i went back to see who Melhill90 was.Then i had to get off computer because my husband came home early.So please forgive me.I am so sorry about losing your first two children.You don't have to give birth to be a Mother,very special people adopt.And it is just as painful to lose a child because it is just as much your child.I hope you understand what i am trying to say.And to have one taken away after you have bonded has to be so very painful.Thank God for your nine year old.She is a gift from him.All our children are.My prayers are with you.Love,Barb


eudora
3/2/2002 11:52

Dear Tammy, I just wanted you to know i posted at Carols memorial after reading your post there.Thank you so much.You are such a blessing.Love,Barb


Weedbike
3/3/2002 20:49

Joni, I am so sorry for your great loss. I have not posted for a long time. I lost my Robby at age 19, April 16, 2001. We are coming up on his 1 year anniversary and it is still a contstant struggle. It's 5 steps forward and 8 steps back all the time. You will have ups and down. It is different losing a child. My child died due to a drug overdose. When a child goes, no matter how it happens, a mother struggles with guilt. It's just what a mother does. I wish I could give you a big hug. I pray that God sends His Holy Spirit to comfort you. I, too, recommend reading everything you can about the after life. John Edwards and Sylvia Brown, among many, have very comforting books. And talk to your son. I promise he hears you! Please don't worry about your son's soul. He is fine. Better than we are. Who knows better than our Lord how he was suffering? He is being taken care of now and I am sure he is sorry that your are so hurt. Take care of yourself and may God bless you and y our family. Sandi


marcia31
3/4/2002 00:13

Hello i just wanted everyone to pray for my family . We lost out oldest son Eric he was 19 years old . And he drowned while fishing . keep us in your prayers always Eric passaway July 24, 2000.


shaner
3/4/2002 08:58

Hello marcia31, welcome to this Circle, and my sincerest condolences over the loss of your beloved Eric. I'm so very sorry for your loss and our prayers and love go out to you, May God keep you in His arms as you travel down your own Jouney of Grief, only to become stronger with time, however long that time takes. God bless you and your family,
Luv Sandy


LOVE2U
3/4/2002 15:36

Our Father~Today, I come before You to pray for all bereaved parents who have lost their precious children. Lord, only You can take away the unbearable pain which each bereaved parent feel in their heart. Lord, I pray that You will continue to help us to be there for one another. Help us to comfort one
another through our prayers, and other expressions of compassion; especially during the valley days that can come upon us sometimes without warning. Father, I ask special blessings and moments of peace for all the newly bereaved moms, who have joined our prayer circle. For those who are just beginning this painful journey, I ask that you allow them to feel the love and compassion that radiates from the hearts of bereaved moms who have been on this journey a while longer. Lord, please assure each of these parents
that they are not alone in their sorrow, and that it is because of Your grace, and the prayers of friends and
loved ones, and our faith, that we have made it this far. Reveal to them, Lord, that it is Your love and
compassion, revealed through our prayers that will strengthen each of them as they continue on this
painful journey, one day at a time! Father I pray that you will wrap your loving arms around each of the newly bereaved moms, as they grieve for their precious children. Let each of them know, Lord, that You hurt when they hurt, and You cry when they cry, and that You, and You alone, can feel the depth of their pain. Lord, we know that being all powerful, and at the same time compassionate, You and only You have the strength and power to wipe away their tears of sorrow, and also give each of them more and more moments of peace as You travel along this journey with each of them. Allow each of them to lean on You for as long as they need to.

Then, Lord, I ask that You will remember those of us who have been on this journey a bit longer. Lord,
please know that we still need You. Many of us are going through the valley of “Special Days.” Again, Father, only You know how difficult these special days can be for each of us. Allow us to lean on You, Lord; and please, please, give us the strength we need to get through them. There are still days, Father, when it seems as though it were just yesterday! Father, we pray for strength during times like these. We know that You have, and will continue to lift us out of the valley, and give us the strength to continue doing Your work in Your Son Jesus’ name. Thank You, Father, for the prayers that the newly bereaved parents
have offered in our behalf. Lord, each of them came in praying for others! :) God, we can feel their love and compassion even as they are just beginning their painful journey. We thank You, Father, and we thank each of them for the love we feel from the prayers they have prayed for all. It’s like the chain reaction that You revealed to me in a poem so long ago!

And finally, Father, permit me to share just two verses from Your Holy Word which assures each of us of the magnitude of Your eternal love for each of Your precious children; and that we will, indeed, see our precious children again someday! And, oh what a glorious family reunion that will be!

[John 3: 16-17]

(16) For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.

(17) For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world through Him might be saved.

Thank You, Father, for loving us that much! Lord, I already feel better! :) To God be the glory! In Your
Son Jesus’ name, I pray, Amen


LOVE2U
3/4/2002 15:48

My daughter,wrote this shortly after Diane went home to be with our Lord. I pray that each bereaved mom will find comfort in the words God gave to her to write.

Love, Verna

Amazing Grace
by Cheryl Clay-Williams

God’s grace is always sufficient
No matter how great the loss
When Jesus died and rose again
He completely paid the cost
So know His grace is sufficient
Your part in this is FAITH
Just believe and rely on JESUS
And His Amazing Grace!


LOVE2U
3/4/2002 16:06

A poem that God first gave to me in a dream. I later had it printed on Diane's funeral program. I pray that these words God gave to me to write and share with other bereaved moms will serve to remind each of us of the joy that lies ahead for each of us... Only, in that day our children will rush down that beautiful heavenly path to welcome us inside!
God Bless


The Dream
by Verna Clay

Today in a peaceful dream
God let me walk you to the door
I knew I’d see you here no more
And as we reached those heavenly gates
He let me peep inside...

And as far as I could see
Old friends of yours and family
Rushed down that beautiful heavenly path
To welcome you inside

With hugs and kisses they whisked you in
Saying, “ Thank You Jesus!” time and time again
And then, you all kneeled down in silence
To say a Special Prayer...

And in that prayer I heard you say
To those of us grieving here today...
“You have no reason to be sad
You did what you could do!”
“For that, I thank you all,” you said
“But please don’t think of me as dead!
For in each of your hearts I will never die!
So don’t be sad...and please don’t cry!”

And then,... I saw you lift your head
And turn... and smile that beautiful smile...
I could not say good bye...so I said,
“I’ll see you in a little while!”


maggierose4
3/4/2002 17:02

To all my new found friends... I apologize first of all for not posting this weekend. I wish I would have come back to see the wonderful words you wrote, because the timing would have been just right. This weekend marked the 2month mark of my son's death and discovery of that. I didn't even realize until last night, the dates..but I fell into a hard depression over the weekend. If only I would have seen Sandy's wish for a sunny day... Anyway I'm doing better today, and I am so sorry for all of you who are going through the grief again, due to a special day ( or even a special moment). The Lord keeps blessing me through people like those that are in this circle, and I am very humbled by that. Sometimes I wonder if you are all angels in disquise trying to get me through all this. Whoever you are.. I pray that the Lord bless you, keep you, and fill you with His love..love that you can feel like a big giant HUG. A Hug I wish I could give each of you! Thank you for taking the time to love even in your own sorrow.In Christ's Love, Joni


sharonleemary
3/4/2002 22:35

We lost our daughter Christina four years ago, she was 22 years old.She was a beautiful person inside and out.Please pray for us,as we will pray for others who have lost their dear children.


LOVE2U
3/5/2002 03:06

sharonleemary~I am so sorry to read about the loss of your precious Christina. I have learned from my own experience with losing my precious 36 year old daughter and from reading the post in our prayer circle as well as talking to other bereaved moms that time does not take away the pain and loss that we feel when we lose a child. As we so often say in our post to others, the grief and pain that we feel when we lose our children is unlike any we have ever known. It has been 5 1/2 years since I lost my daughter, Diane, and I can tell you,I still feel my pain and loss, even though it is not as intense as it was in the beginning. If you read a my end of the year post, you will discover that only this past Christmas, did I feel peace, and even a little joy during the holiday. But, there are still times when all I want to do is hold my child in my arms again! So, we just have to do the best we can from day to day, and sometimes from minute to minute! :) That's what makes this prayer circle so very special. We all have those "valley days." And, the beautiful thing is, we know it's o.k. to have them. We just embrace each other as the need arises and as Sandy says, "storm heaven with our prayers," for anyone who needs encouragement to get through those valley days. Please know that your pain is our pain. You will find that the prayers that we pray for each other will provide those precious moments of peace that you long for. We learn to embrace those moments for as long as we can. Thank you for praying for others, and I promise, you will be prayed for here! I know I speak for all the other moms when I say; I pray that God will give you and your family longer moments of peace now, and in the days ahead.
Love,
Verna


shaner
3/5/2002 08:20

Hello Joni, (maggierose4), I'm happy to see you posting again! This past weekend must have been very painful, as you marked off Chad's second month passing. Every little reminder is filled with sadness and reflection. I do wish for you sunny days, but I know you'll have 'rainy' ones too, and I hope our prayers for you carry you through those days. That was so sweet what you wrote at the end of your post, I don't know about Angels, :), but I do know that God uses us to help others. Thank you for the big hug, we can all use them, yourself included, so one goes back to you, also with our love and understanding. Please post here anytime you want, talking about your loss of Chad is good for you, and we all appreciate your own kind thoughts. May God bless you and your family,
Luv Sandy


shaner
3/5/2002 08:25

Hello Verna, (Love2U), I just loved your poem, "The Dream", I'm certain we have all felt like that at one time or another, and what a beautiful dream to have! I hope your book is coming along well,
Luv Sandy

 
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