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Shaner
5/8/2007 10:08
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Hi dear Charlene,
That was a very nice gift to get from your daughter, every time you water it, enjoy its beauty, it'll remind you of her, :).
Yep, flowers, plants in pots, containers, do dry out faster and need more watering than those in the ground.
We live in an Apt., and are fortunate to have a large Balcony, so I container garden every year - I grow my own Herbs, there's nothing like fresh-picked Basil or Rosemary!
And yes, now you do know what to plan for Mothers Day, have a lovely one with your own Mom!
Much love & Hugs,
Sandy
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Shaner
5/8/2007 10:24
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Oh, our dear Kathy, please don't ever think of it as coming here and complaining all the time....you're in grief and pain and this is exactly the purpose of this Circle, to let your feelings out! The pages would be blank if every Mom waited until they were 'more positive' to post here - NONE of us consider it 'complaining', so please don't think like that!!
When you share how you're feeling, little do you know how much you may be helping another Mom out, who can relate so well to what you're saying!
Praying for you and all sweetie, you're still in the early stages of this Journey and never forget that we're here for you,
Much love & Hugs,
Sandy
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Shaner
5/8/2007 10:50
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Hi dear Jane,
No, :) you're not being punished. They're still working on the site, there are many more new changes to come, hopefully they'll be finished by the summer's end. I brought this problem to one of the Editors a while back, that some were having problems logging onto the Circle and she said she wasn't surprised...Circles were never meant to get as big as this one has, she told me and to just hang on until the new changes were all in place.
Is there any way you could talk to your boys and let them know how hurtful it is to you that they don't acknowledge your Birthday or Mothers Day? Sometimes they just don't realize it.....you know your boys far better than I do, but could that be a possibility?
Every Sunday on Mothers Day our Women's League buys Corsages for the Moms of the Parish, and hand them out after Mass. I skip it and we go out the side door instead. Naturally our Priest mentions Mothers Day in his Homily, but that doesn't bother me as much as the Corsages do, so I've learned how to avoid that part.
Praying for you too,
Much love & Hugs,
Sandy
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Shaner
5/8/2007 10:54
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Hi dear Susan,
My love, prayers and support are with you today, on Alex's Birthday. I pray the happier memories outnumber the sad ones, if the tears come you just let them,
Much love & Hugs,
Sandy
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havelost4
5/8/2007 12:32
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SUSAN,
Greetings and prayers today on your Alex's homegoing date! I pray that God would give you peace today, that He would grant you comfort through His peace and through others' words and loving care. May you be blessed by your memories of Alex today and by what he has left behind for you.
Much love and (((HUGS))),
Charlene
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havelost4
5/8/2007 14:28
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KATHY,
I agree with Sandy; when you 'complain' and 'tell it like it is', you may just be helping one of us not to feel alone in our suffering. Believe me, we've all had the same feelings at one time or another and it helps to know that we are true sisters by sharing our grief with each other. (Not that we WANT each other to suffer, but it makes us closer to each other to know that the other sisters KNOW what we're going through.)
Love you sis,
Charlene
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diva222
5/8/2007 23:53
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Father we know we don't understand but we are thankful you do and that you know every heart and every question, we petition your Holy throne of mercy to cover the brokeness of our pitiful lives.We ask blessings, healings and renewed strength for all the many parents and loved ones dealing with such a loss in Christ Jesus we pray now and forever Amen.
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Shaner
5/9/2007 09:22
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Thank you dear diva222 for the beautiful prayer, we truly appreciate it.
May God bless you in whatever He knows you are in need of ,
Love & Hugs,
Sandy
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jpot
5/9/2007 09:46
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Hi Everyone,
This is a quickie, must get to work. Sandy, just wanted to tell you that all of 5/8 posts came today for me. I checked last night before I went to bed. Don't know what's happening, but others are upset also. Seems more and more posts are being beemed up. If I have a long one or one that I don't want beamed up I copy it first. Love and gratitude, Jane
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KPETERSEN
5/9/2007 11:28
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Thank you sisters for understanding about the "complaining" thing. I just would like a little positive time for a change. With Mother's day approaching and the sadness that is sure to be present with us all, I would like to celebrate the mother I have become. The strength I have to face yet another day and the courage I need to get through every single minute. Yesterday I was remembering that when Wes was about 17, he had spent the night at a friends house the night before mother's day. He had forgotten all about it being mother's day as son's usually do. On his way home he was looking for a rose to pick for me from someone's yard. The only one was a tiny little bud. He brought it home and said "I'm so sorry mom, I forgot. I know this is a little rose but I love you big! Happy Mother's Day!" I thanked him and put it in a glass of water and set it on the windowsil. It floated on the top because the stem was so short but none the less it was my mother's day rose from my son. The next morning I went into the kitchen to make my coffee. Out of the corner of my eye I see this brilliant flash of red. That rose had opened all the way up and filled the entire glass. It was the most beautiful rose I have ever seen. I wish I had pressed it into a book and saved it but the memory is just as wonderful. I am flooded with warmth just thinking about the love of my son and remembering that that was the kind of person he was. And although I will miss him terribly this Mother's day, God has graced me with that memory and I have no doubt it was sent to me from Wes this mother's day. This will be the 1st year without my Mother as well. It will be difficult and different but I know that I will get through. I will go to lunch with my little boy just like we did with my Mom when she was here and I will honor us both. Jane, celebrate the mother you are now, we mom's all have things we would like to have disappear in our lives but I think if we can focus on now and celebrate the fact that we made it this far and have learned valuable lessons along the way and have much to offer to this world, we can get through no matter what. Your son's will always love you for you are their MOTHER.
Love you all dearly,
Kathy
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havelost4
5/9/2007 14:48
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KATHY,
What a wonderful memory of Wes getting you that rose for Mother's Day! Yes, there are a lot of things we wish we had paid more attention to, or kept so we would have them now. And yes, we need to celebrate the mother that we are now, hopefully wiser and more mature than we used to be. I thank God that He understands me and loves me no matter how much I've messed up in the past. He's always available to me and ready to forgive me when I come to Him. I hope you have a great Mother's Day!
Love and (((HUGS))),
Charlene
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Shaner
5/10/2007 09:46
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Our dear Kathy,
It's so good to hear from you! I think this is one of the hardest Holidays for us, a day set aside devoted to Mothers, all the hype and advertising surrounding it, there's no doubt when you've lost a beloved child that the day just doesn't mean very much anymore...and this is also your first without your own Mom, so of course its going to add to your already existing pain. I think thats a very nice way to spend it, going out with your little boy to the restaurant as you normally did with your Mom, I pray you find some measure of comfort in doing so. That's a beautiful story about Wes's Rose and one you'll forever carry in your heart.
Together, we'll all get through the day, our loving Heavenly Father will be there for us all, that part I can guarantee.
Much love & Hugs,
Sandy
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jpot
5/10/2007 10:39
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Hi All,
It was so good to see you post Kathy. I do celebrate who I am now, but celebrating the mother I am is harder because I have so little contact with my sons. Until last August I did see my daughter in law and granddaughter often, usually several times a week. Most of the time it was because she needed a ride somewhere, since she doesn't drive. However, they have moved an hour away and with the gas prices I can't get there often. Besides that, they're planning to move to Orlando soon. So I don't feel like I'm doing any "mothering" these days. I will go to church and have been praying this week that I'm open to receive what God has for me there.
I think I told my story of last Sunday with Ethan. This morning he woke me up with a phone call thanking me for the card. He told me he loves getting mail, but he really loves me. It's pretty cool to have a little one, who is not related to me to keep pouring his love on me. I believe children can never have too many positive adults in their lives and I'm happy Ethan has allowed me in his. The story you told of Wes gave me goose bumps! How precious a memory and that won't be taken away!
Sandy, I don't know the input you have with b'net, but all over the site people are complaining about posts being "beamed" up. Sometimes when I click on their site within a newsletter, my computer freezes. Don't know what's happening with them, but I'm praying it'll get fixed quickly. I sent an e-card to my sister using b'net's new cards. She never received it. I use to use crosswalk for e-cards, but people never got theirs either. You are right we will make it through Mother's Day.
FYI, Mother's Day is not a "Hallmark" holiday. Someone with the last name of Howe (forget her first) who was very active in the women's movement petitioned Pres Lincoln for a day to honor mothers. I'm not sure if it was Lincoln or Johnson who officially made it a holiday. In the beginning the whole concept of honoring mothers with a special day was pretty radical. It was meant for good, to recognize the worth of women. Howe also wrote "The Battle Hymn of the Republic." Howe herself was told by both her parents, and later husband that she would never amount to anything. This is just to encourage us to know that the root of mother's day was meant as good. Back then women were not treated well. So let us celebrate womanhood, and those who can motherhood. As women we are all still growing into the women God has created us to be. That's going to be my focus on Sunday. Love and gratitude to all, Jane
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selvam
5/10/2007 14:51
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Hi all my dear sisters. Please forgive me for being MIA for so long, I have been working very long hours, this tax season was busier than other years and now I have the auditors in my office who are constantly interrupting me, every time I try to sing in the Circle (it takes a long time , I agree with you Jane there is something wrong with it) they come in my office asking questions. I agree with our dear sister Sandy, Mother's Day is one of the hardest Holidays for us, we have to pray really hard and God will pulls us through again, as you know , Solange is my only child so it is extra hard for me nad my Mom passed in 1999, so I have no one, I know that with all our prayers God will look down at us and give us strenght to go through another Mother's Day without our precious children. My prayers will be there for all of you and also my love. I promise I will post more often now. May God Bless you all. Love. Selva
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Shaner
5/10/2007 16:29
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Hi dear Jane,
I'm not quite sure what you mean by the term 'beaming up' :) but if you're having problems with Newsletters, Greeting Cards and you know of other people who are experiencing problems with the site itself, I strongly advise you to contact Beliefnet itself, through the Report a Problem link on the left hand side of the Pages. As far as others go, they should report it to their Moderator of the Boards they're posting on, that's the proper protocol....if there's no Moderator, they too should report the problem.
I've explained already why it may be difficult here at the Circle sometimes.
On the Boards I Moderate and post at, nobody has mentioned any problems, so it must be a hit and miss type.
Actually it was an Anna Jarvis who is credited with starting Mothers Day, for Mothers who were alive or deceased.
Then, in the U.S., it was President Woodrow Wilson in 1909 who signed the declaration setting aside a day to honor Mothers. Anna Jarvis, on her deathbed, said she was sorry she had ever mentioned the idea, it had become too commercialized in her opinion.
I'd have to strongly disagree with it not being a 'Hallmark' Day, more Greeting Cards are sold on Mothers Day than any other day of the year!
Love & Hugs,
Sandy
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Shaner
5/10/2007 16:45
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Hi our dear sister!!
Yes, you've been a stranger, I know you had to work very hard for tax season, but you were very much missed!
Yes, my dear sister, its one of the hardest Holidays for bereaved Moms to experience, the focus is solely on Mothers and when you've lost a precious child, it just isn't the same anymore. Particularly for you and other Moms who've lost their only child. But as I told you, you will always be a Mother, the bond of love between you and Solange can never be broken. Yes, we will get through it, once again, with each other's support and love, understanding and of course with God's great help.
I'm so glad we'll be seeing more of you,
Lots of love & Hugs,
Sandy
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Shaner
5/10/2007 19:57
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This is a very thoughtful thing that my dear friend Andrea sent me for everybody here at this Circle of Love. She's one of the few who hasn't suffered the ultimate of losses, Praise God, but is very supportive and realize's that special days are hard on us. I hope it come's through!
CLICK
Much love to all,
Sandy
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jpot
5/10/2007 20:49
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Dear Sandy,
"Beaming up" means a post got lost in cyberspace. As far as who started Mother's Day, I was quoting my pastor, maybe Howe just got the idea started. When I stated it isn't a Hallmark holiday, I meant it wasn't started by means of commercialism, such as secretary's day, sweetest day etc. I totally agree it has become one. My ex husband use to own a floral delivery business. Mother's Day was by far the busiest ond day event. Valentine's Day didn't even compare with it. Only Christmas season was busier because there were more days a package could be delivered and still considered in season. The reason I even posted that was to show the intentions for the day started as something good. Now it just brings so much pain for many people. Actually, this circle is one of the easier ones for me to get on. It's mainly the discussion and DG that we're having trouble with. I will report my problems to b'net as far as newsletters and e-cards. Please tell your friend Andrea thank you for me. That was beautiful and very thoughtful of her. As far as talking to my sons, I have tried often. I just need to accept the way things are now, and pray for a better future with them.
Selva, it is soooo good to see you back! I have thought of you and prayed for you often. Last year your sister Nancy was very ill. How is she doing these days. I know that she worked with you through the tax season. As her name pops in my mind, I say a quick prayer for her. I know Mother's Day is hard for you. Extra prayers are being said.
Charlene, are you near any of the flooding in MO. It sounds so horrible. Those poor people with water up to their roofs.
I actually have a day off tomorrow. For someone who is suppose to work part time, I'm really putting in the hours. My whole body feels it. Then Saturday I am to be a demostrator with some of our appliances. Funny thing I have never used any of them. Does anyone know how much coffee one needs for a 12 cup perculator? We were suppose to demostrate the drip pot, however, we're completely out of them. It's been eons since I perked my coffee. I never used a convection oven before, and I'll be doing that. It's something different to do so I look forward to it.
Love and gratitude to all, Jane
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jpot
5/11/2007 13:04
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Dear Sandy,
Just wanted to tell you that I used the site Andrea used to send an e-card yesterday. Today I received confirmation it was sent. I have tried 2 different sites without a response from those companies, and the intended receiver did not receive their cards. So thank you again for passing that on. If anyone wants to know the address it's 123greetings.com Sorry forgot how to put the link in. Love to all, Jane
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KPETERSEN
5/11/2007 14:07
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Sandy,
My thanks to your friend Andrea. That is very thoughtful of her. Most of my friends don't know what to say to me anymore. I only have 1 very good friend. She flew out to be with me when Wes passed....wonderful lady. Anyway...
I pray for you all this Mother's day. I know that it is going to be difficult but I also know that we will get through. My oldest son (Wes's best friend)and I talked yesterday. He told me that he awoke crying the other morning. Wes had come to him in a dream. He said when they hugged he could actually feel the warmth of him and feel that he was there. He didn't want that feeling to end. They were so happy to see each other and then Wes said he had to go home. Steve begged him to stay and Wes was very resolute and kept saying he had to go home. That is when Steve woke up. He had never dreamed of Wes like that before. Neither have I. We of course dream of him but don't feel him like that. It tears me apart inside that I was not there to hug him when he was crying. His wife is like many of my friends....no one knows unless they have been through this loss. They try to comfort you the best they can but most feel we should be over it by now...can you imagine!
I love you all, I won't be back until Monday but I would love to hear that someone had a smile on Mother's day!
God bless us all.
Kathy
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smile713
5/11/2007 22:02
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Oh that dream, how wonderful they are. I cried but more tears of joy. I believe this is a wonderful way of getting through to us.
I had a dream a couple of days ago, about my mom (died in Oct 06)I did not see her but I was talking to a doctor in a hospital about her health problems and my conserns about her sore shoulder when she was in the nursing home. She had diabetes, strokes, COPD, overweight, had stopped talking and moving and at the end stopped eating ect. The doctor assured me there was absolutely nothing wrong with my mother and she was healthy. I took this as sign that she now has a healthy body and suffers no more. I feel much better now. 2007-my first mothers day without my mother.
Wishing a Happy Mothers Day to all and hope everyone gets "a sign" of some kind so we know your near. Sweet dreams to all our children that makes us mothers, wether they are with us earthly or heavenly.
I pray to all who will have A TALK on mothers day that all goes well and wounds will be healed.
Love to all, Chris
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jpot
5/11/2007 22:26
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Thank you Chris, I'm one of those who will try and have that talk with my mom. I just pray that she will be quiet enough to let me talk. Love, Jane
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jpot
5/12/2007 00:16
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Hi Everyone,
Today I had the day off and actually accomplished a lot. I have noticed a level of anxiety though. I spoke with both my daughter in law and my youngest son. Neither of them said anything about Mother's Day. This morning the Holy Spirit revealed something to me. I'm trying to find my validation from my children, not God. With God, it's a matter of receiving my validation, since He has already validated me. I think that makes sense. At least it did this morning. He also showed me I was trying too hard to get approval from friends and family and not see I am approved in His sight. I'm still processing this, but it still hurts feeling like I'm ignored by my family. So everytime the anxiety hits I keep telling myself that I am validated and approved by God. Sometimes, it so hard to walk in the Truth and not the circumstances of my life. Just thought I would share that with everyone here, especially you all know the issues I have with my sons. Love and gratitude to all, Jane
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jpot
5/12/2007 00:33
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Dear Sandy,
I actually Goggled Mother's Day. You are right about Anna Jarvis being the driving force for having a day to honor Mothers. Also her regret later in life. Julia Ward Howe in 1870 fought for it also. She wrote a Mother's Day Proclamation then. The Battle Hymn of the Republic was written to honor mothers whose sons were at war. She would hold gatherings for mothers who were dealing with their sons away at war. I also found out that originally Mother's Day was to be spent in Church with your mother or a time to write a letter to her. You wore a pink carnation if your mother was alive and a white one is she was deceased. Boy, have we moved far away from the original idea.
Kathy, your son had a wonderful dream. He must have needed to know that Wes was doing well.
It's time for me to turn in. Love and gratitude to all, Jane
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