Prayer Circles

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Shane Whalen
This Prayer Circle is Dedicated to my son Shane Whalen Who Passed Away On March 15, 1999 at the Age of 24, & All Other Children

Start a prayer circle for bereaved parents who have lost a child.

There are many of us out there who have lost a child, and it is devastating. It changes the outlook on life, plunges you into a depression, and you think that the feelings and thoughts you have nobody else could possibly relate to. I think a prayer circle for bereaved parents would only benefit us and help us on our journey of grief. This Circle is one of Love, where a Grieving Parent can safely come to for Prayers, and to talk about their feelings.

Shaner -10/14/2000
send to a friend

Read Prayers.

5/2/2007 07:41

I apologize sincerely for not getting this list posted earlier!!!! I woke up early this morning and remembered it. I could explain how busy I am, but that doesn't ease the hurt of missing Jennifer's special date yesterday. I will email her and apologize. :o)


Jennifer (jhdanner): Aimee Nichole Dec. 20, 1992(BD)--May 1, 1993(HD)

Susan (stwiny;cagermane): Alex Jan. 2, 1983(BD)--May 8, 2003(HD)

Jane (jpot): Elizabeth May 18, 1979(BD)--July 14, 1979(HD)

Sandy (shaner): Shane May 28, 1974(BD)--Mar. 15, 1999(HD)

Love and (((HUGS))),

5/3/2007 09:49

Hi Everyone,

Charlene, thank you again for keeping us updated on a monthly basis.

For everyone that sent e-cards for my birthday, thank you. I would respond to each one, however, my time is limited and so many people sent me well wishes. I deeply appreciate all of you, thank you.

On THE LOSS OF A CHILD thread there is a woman (Janie) who lost her son Kenny several years ago. He left behind a son and daughter, ages now 17 and 21 (?). The daughter Amanda (17) is pregnant and was out with her boyfriend. There was a fight that broke out between her boyfriend Tony and a gang member. The details are sketchy, but it resulted in Tony believing he had no choice but to pull a knife and use it. The other young man is now in a coma and in critical condition. Now gang members are threatening Janie and her family. They are in desparate need of prayer. A prayer circle has started for them. I'm asking all who can to post a prayer at that site. The prayer circle is for Janie Fleifther, started by Cathy Kelley, of CD Kelly. The reason I gave so much info is because it will be easier to understand when you read some of the posts. Also the grandchildren's mother (Mary)is not a stable person and hasn't been in a very long time. I have been communicating with Janie for about a year. She is a dear sweet friend and this year her faith has really been tested. If you can't go to the site to post, please pray for her and the family. I'm also praying for Youngstown, OH where all this is taking place. I guess the gang situation there is really bad. Father, please protect our children in gang infested cities, especially right now Youngstown, OH. As humans, we don't have the answers for the gang problems, but we know You do. Please show the authorties what needs to be done to keep the children safe. In Jesus Name, Amen.

Thank you everyone for praying for Janie and the entire situation. Love and gratitude, Jane

5/3/2007 09:54

Forgot to mention Tony is now in jail with a 50,000 bond. Amanda thought she had it raised but Tony's parents used it. That may be God's way of protecting Tony, don't have a clear sense on that yet, just found out this morning. I'm just praying that God's will be done in releasing Tony.

5/3/2007 18:59

I've been praying off and on today for Janie and her family, that God would put a hedge around them and protect them from evil. Keep us informed as you hear any more news about them.

I hope you are getting caught up on your rest! Would love to hear how you're doing.

Haven't heard from you in a while either. I hope and pray that you are doing okay; this month might be a hard one for you. Let us know.

Love and (((HUGS))),

5/4/2007 14:27

Our dear Jane,
I posted a prayer for Janie and all involved at the Circle that was created. God keep them all,
Much love & Hugs,

5/4/2007 14:48

Hi dear Charlene,
That's so sweet of you to post to me, yes, I've been MIA for a little while, haven't I.
Yes, I've been in the pits for a while, I don't much like the month of May.
My Mom passed away the day befre Mother's Day, on May 7th, 1981, too young, so her Anniversary is fast approaching, as well as Mother's Day itself, ugh, that's one of the hardest day's for me to get through, I miss my Shane so, so much. And of course Shane's Birthday coming up, its so hard to believe he'd be 33, he'll always be 24 for me, I just can't picture him any other way - the day the 'clock' stopped.
Appreciate any and all prayers,
Much love & {{Hugs}}

5/4/2007 19:47

You definitely have my prayers on your behalf; when I saw your name on the special list for this month, I figured that it would be a hard month for you. Then I had forgotten about Mother's Day coming up; that will be a hard day for all of us!
I've been thinking about my mother (since she's been staying with us) and dreading the day that she is no longer alive. We took her home this past Wed. and she'll be back for a week when she has her other eye surg. on May 14th. We've gotten closer the past several months than we've ever been before. In a way it's sad to get so close and know that she won't be alive forever. She's 81 and still alert mentally and mostly physically too. All 4 of us(her children) have told her 'no driving' until she gets her other eye fixed and isn't so unbalanced with her sight. It's hard for her to take advice from her kids, but I reminded her that she took care of us for a long time and now it's time for us to take care of her. :o)
I kind of understand what you mean about not being able to 'see' Shane at the age he would be now. I've tried to imagine the girls at 15 1/2 and 13 instead of 12 and 10 but it's really hard. That's the age when they really start to grow and change and it's just not possible to imagine how much they would have changed. They'll always be 10 and 12 to me, just like you said Shane will always be 24 to you.
I pray that this month goes by smoothly for you--no major ups or downs. Remember: spend extra time communicating with God, get extra sleep, plan ahead for activities that you know you have to attend/do, be good to yourself, and don't isolate. I keep that list attached to my computer so I can see it daily. I think the last one is the hardest not to do, when sometimes all I want to do is go to bed or get in the car and drive and never stop. Both those just allow me to run away and I know that's not good for me; so I spend extra time in prayer and in pampering myself and that makes me feel better. Yesterday was the first day Mother wasn't here for a week and I just sat down and had a good hard cry; that's not easy to do when others are around. I immediately felt like a burden had been lifted off of me and today I had more energy than I've had in several days.
Remember that we all love you!
Love and (((HUGS))),

5/4/2007 21:23

Hi to all my sisters,

Charlene, when I read your last post I thought "physician heal thyself." In other words listen to my own advise! Right now I'm pretty good at not isolating because it's been such a hectic time. However, my times with God aren't as long or meaningful as they once were, I'm not getting that extra sleep, haven't planned ahead for that dreaded Mother's Day. Thank you for the reminder.

Sandy, you have been in my prayers lately. I know this is a hard month for you also. I do get concerned when a week goes by and we don't hear from you. It's pretty awesome about the New York Times doing an article about this prayer circle. When I leave here, I'm going to check on the other thread to see if there is any news about Janie's situation.

Kathy, I'm concerned about you also. Your last post stated you were feeling better and you were going to post more often. I pray that you're just busy and not so down that you're unable to post.

So many seem to be MIA lately. Anita, Donna, Selva, Connie (I know you have computer trouble), Lea Ann how's everything going with you. Verna, you've been quiet also. I know that you posted recently that you were down. Anyway just wanted you to know that you are all missed.

I so understand not being able to visualize our child at the age he/she would have been today. My Elizabeth would have been 28 on the 18th. Can't begin to conjure up a picture of her in my mind as to what she would look like today. However, I know that today she is beautiful and radiant, and one day I will meet her again. Something else to look forward to, but not in a hurry to get there!

Last week I tried to get a loan from my credit union (where I once worked) to pay off my credit cards. One card raised my rate to 26.99% from 12%. When I asked why they told me they re-evaluated me based on my credit report. When they gave me the card, I was a full-time student, with my disability as my sole means of support. Now I do also work, have not been late on any payments, with any of my cards, and I'm sure my credit ratings have gone up. All that to say I was turned down for the loan. It was one of those things where I knew God was going to give the answer. I received the turn down letter yesterday, they would only reconsider if I had a co-signer. Today, in the mail I received a pretty large check from my Aunt with a note that Gram instructed her to send each of us a check after she died. I can almost pay that whole card off. God is so good! If I had received that loan, I don't think I had the option of paying it off early. Now my high interest credit card will almost be paid off and my cash flow will be lighter every month. Just had to share that with everyone. When God says no, it means he has a better way! Love and gratitude to all, Jane

5/5/2007 10:03

To all my sisters,
I am so sorry for being MIA for so long,but you have all been in my thoughts and prayers.
We have 3 more weeks of school left so maybe thing's won't be so hectic.
Sandy, that is wonderful about the circle. It shows that someone who comes here for comfort and prayer ends up being part of the family. I found I had more sister's than I knew I had.
And that's how I think of all of you.

Love you all, Anita

5/5/2007 21:50

JANE, I'm glad God answered your need for money right now! I'm also glad that I could 'remind' you of the list that you gave us a while back. I almost feel like I've dropped out of so many things to spend time doing what is necessary, that I feel isolated because of that somehow. But the burden of always being the one to plan parties, get-togethers, etc. with my immediate family was wearing me out. Now I'm just concentrating on taking care of myself and my husband and my mother (when she needs it) and my daughters or grandkids when/if they need it. I'm not planning a big meal and get-together with my daughters and their families for Mother's Day this year; I'm just going to take my mother out to eat and celebrate with her. If my daughters want to do something for me, that's fine; but I won't be the one 'organizing' a get-together with them. I've done that for every holiday for as long as our daughters have been married, and I'm getting tired of giving so much and not receiving what I need in return. That looks selfish in print, but I've come to realize that the trauma/shock that I've been through losing Casey and Carey has taken it's toll on me physically. It's time I slowed down and let someone do for me for a change; not that I won't ever do family get-togethers any more, but not for EVERY holiday. (Maybe that will make them appreciate what I've done for them in the past.) :o)

ANITA, it's good to hear from you; I figured you were busy with school. It won't be long now before you'll have more free time. And I agree with you about the sisters here; I shudder to think where I would be without all of you. :o)
BIG (((HUGS))) and love to all,

5/5/2007 23:03

Sorry i have been here. I have been so busy with painting and sewing and baking and crocheting and getting ready for vacation bible school I have had much time. I had to deal with my daughter coming and staying. When she is here she can't stand the boys arguing and they do alot of it when she is here. She just never grew up and when she comes here to see them she acts like a big sister than a Mom. This week coming is busy with appointments and school and of course that day that gets to all of us that have lost a child "Mother's Day". We are going to our trailer to spend the weekend. I am going to cook a dinner for us and our friends from Long Island. I will be praying for all of you to have a peaceful Sunday. I am hoping to get back here on a regular basis until the boys get out of school for the summer which is June 25.
Love You All Lee Ann

5/5/2007 23:16

Dear Charlene,
I so totally understand where you're coming from about constantly giving to our adult children and not receiving what we need. Every year I find my self cutting back on my expectations so I don't get hurt. I've even spoken with my mentor about it. She advised me to seek Godly expectations. What that boils down to for me is honor and respect. I don't feel like I even receive that from them, so every birthday and Mother's Day my expectations aren't met. What I have to accept is that right now they don't have the resources (inner) to honor and respect me like I think they should. So this year, absolutely no expectations. This way I don't set myself up to be hurt and if they do something I will be pleasantly surprised. By the way, I'm taking my own advice and went to prayer meeting tonight! Plan to get rest tomorrow. I'm trying to come up with something to do on Mother's Day, but most of my friends aren't available. Maybe I'll rent a movie. I am going to have that talk with my mother on Mother's Day.

Anita, good to see your post. I know this is a hard time of the year for teachers. In fact tonight in prayer meeting we prayed for extra grace for all teachers.

Love, Jane

5/6/2007 15:05

Our dear Charlene,
I don't think its selfish of you at all - if you've always had to initiate the get together for Mother's Day then you go right ahead and enjoy the day with your own'll hear from your own girls anyway, it just may make them realize that it would be nice if they did the get together, or take you out for a Mother's Day Dinner,
Much love & Hugs,

5/6/2007 15:09

Dear Jane, that is absolutely awesome! You get turned down for the loan, but receive what you need in the mail.....that's a definite sign of God's Hand at work in your life, :)
Much love & Hugs,

5/6/2007 15:25

Hi dear Anita,
Terrific to see a Post from you! With just 3 weeks of school left, I can imagine how busy you must be right now, but we look forward to hearing more from you when its over!
I was very pleasantly surprised and humbling, to think that of all the things the Reporter from the NY Times could have chosen to highlight in his Article, he was very much taken with the Circle - Glory be to God! Family, sisters, yes! and that's how I think of you too, everyone here,
Much love & Hugs,

5/6/2007 15:32

Thank you dear Charlene and Jane for your prayers, it mean's a lot to me, I know once this month is over, I'll come out of my funk, it may be 2 steps back at the moment, but soon it will be 3 steps forward once again.
Love & Hugs to you both,

5/6/2007 15:55

I'm with you with the two steps back. Looking forward to the three or five forward in June. The month of May triggers so much for me also. It starts with my birthday, which usually brings disappointment with my family. The same disappointment happens again for Mother's Day. Then the 18th is Elizabeth's birthday. In my past life, I would end in the hospital every May, but never really knew why the month was so depressing for me. Now I know and can pray against the debilating depression. There will always be a little sadness, and if I keep setting myself up disappointment, but depression like I experienced is gone. Along with Susan you are in my prayers more often. Love, Jane

5/6/2007 19:37

It's good to hear from you! It makes me tired just reading your post; you have a very busy schedule! I forget how much goes on with youngsters the age of your grandsons. I pray that you have a good Mother's Day at your trailer!
I wanted to let you know how today went (since I was dreading going to my grandson's first birthday party); they really had a crowd there from both sides of the family. I had been praying that I be relaxed and have an enjoyable day. Everything went fine; he liked the present I got and really wanted to play with it instead of his other toys. That made me feel good. And SURPRISE, SURPRISE! my daughter had gotten me a hanging basket full of outdoor flowers for Mother's Day. She said she didn't know what they would be doing on that day so she wanted to give it to me ahead of time. I'm SO glad that I decided not to plan a get-together with my daughters; otherwise I would have been disappointed that she wouldn't be there. Praise God that He goes ahead of us and makes a way 'in the wilderness'. And I was VERY thankful that she gave me the flowers. I hung them up outside when we got home and watered them. (Believe it or not, the ground is too wet, but the hanging basket was dry.) :o)
I pray that you all have a very peaceful and joy-filled Mother's Day; spend the day doing something that you would enjoy someone else doing for you. :o)
My clothes dryer quit working last night so I've got to get someone to look at it tomorrow. If I didn't have 2 loads of laundry waiting to do, I wouldn't be in such a hurry to get it fixed.
You all have a good week!
Love and (((HUGS))),

5/6/2007 20:52

I do get very busy at times with the boys and everyone else that don't drive and some times I don't take time for me and I relize this after the fact. But the Lord has given me my grandsons so I wouldn't go in to a depression about my son and I thank the Lord very much for that because I am not the person to do that and He knows that so I have 2 boys to look over for the rest of their life and I am going to try to make the best for them for they have gone through more than they should have for their age. Well got to go get them in the shower so they are clean for school tomarrow.
Love to all Lee Ann

5/7/2007 00:23

Dear Charlene,
I'm so glad your day went so well. God does go ahead of us to prepare the way. In church this morning a little 4 yr boy came and gave me a bouquet of flowers for my birthday, then hugged me. His grandmother Judy and I worked real closely with Bob. Judy and her husband Dick have also been a great support for me in the last year and a half. They have both poured much truth into my life. During Bob's last weeks Judy and I saw each other a lot, many times Ethan (her grandson) was with her. We just bonded then. Before that, whenever I was at Judy's and he was there, he basically ignored me just being a kid. Anyway, one day at the nursing home with Bob, Ethan came up to me and told me he loved me. He told me he loved everything about me. Then went into detail, telling me how beautiful I was and how he loved looking into my eyes. Threw me off guard! Later Judy told me he has the gift of prophesy and knows when to use it. She told me to just receive his words as coming from God. I had already done that, but it was pretty cool getting confirmation. Since then, Ethan just comes up to me in church for a hug. He's so precious. After church his grandfather (Dick) told me that Ethan wouldn't let them go to church without a birthday present for Miss Jane. Right now his mom, new baby brother and he lives with Dick and Judy until his mother recovers from post partium (sp) depression. (Hey someone who knows how to spell that word, please post it. Going nuts trying to spell it!) So that's why Dick or Judy couldn't come without a present for me. I met Ethan again in the parking garage and told him I knew it was his idea and thanked him. He just hugged me again. I told him the flowers were my favorite and he told me he didn't know that but his Papa did. The great part of this is that I was thinking of Mother's Day and wishing someone would send me flowers. God went ahead of me also. I just love it. Love, Jane

5/7/2007 07:04

Jane: You must have felt so special when Ethan showed his love.I know how you feel. There is a little boy in church that runs to me every time I see him to give me a hug and kiss. For the longest time after my son's death I didn't want anything to do with a little boy or baby (except my grandsons and then I was so afraid of losing them that they weren't allowed to be out of my sight)but this little boy helped me to get over that.

5/7/2007 09:44

Yes, Lee Ann, God does use the children in our lives to bring comfort and joy. The other day I meant to post to you that I saw we posted about the same time. After I hit submit I didn't even check to see if someone else had posted. Just wanted to say it was good to see a post from you. I know you're real busy, but when I don't see posts for quite a while I get concerned. I'm glad you have your grandsons to keep you going. Love, Jane

5/7/2007 17:15

Hello dear sisters,

I am here....just trying to keep going. My mom passed on April 23rd last year and Saturday was her birthday...then Mother's day coming, I know we are all in the same boat for the most part. It is sometimes hard to come and complain all the time. One day I pray I can come and actually be positive! Sandy, that is so cool about the circle! How wonderful. It is like God smiling isn't it! I pray all the time that people who need us will find us. We do have a family here. I have been catching up on the back posts, you are all in my prayers. My feelings mirror yours in most ways. It is comforting to know that we are not alone in our grief. I too am looking forward to 2-3 steps forward next month God willing.
Jennifer, Susan, Jane and Sandy, you are in my prayers. I am praying God grant you peace. Charlene, thank you so much for posting the special dates every month. And dear Jane, thank you for always thinking of me. I am doing ok. I feel like I am tangled up in barbed wire sometimes but I am being patient and leaning of the everlasting arm! Love to you all,

5/8/2007 01:30

Hi Everyone,

Does anyone feel that b'net is punishing you because you skip the ads? Seems like everytime I do,it takes forever to get online here. Once it froze my computer to the point that I had to manually restart it. Oh well, they do have bills to pay. It just gets agravating to have to wait so long.

Kathy, I always think of you because I know if you're not posting, you are hurting. Please don't fear not being positive all the time. One of the reasons I came back to this site was the honesty that was shown through the posts. The good, bad and ugly!

Anyone besides me wants to skip church on Sunday (Mother's Day)? I have to be there because I'm serving communion, but I so much want to miss all the fuss of the day. I'm already praying that God would soften my heart so that I can receive what He has for me at church. I know we all have times when we just go to church out of habit and our hearts are so hard that we can't receive. I don't mean hard as bad, but as protective. I have not heard from any of my sons about Mother's Day, I can just assume they will do nothing. This time of the year I really go into the lie that I don't deserve anything from them because of the way they had to deal with my mental illness years ago. It's a path that is so dangerous and self destructive. I think it's because my birthday and Mother's Day is so close that I don't have time to recover from the disappointment of my birthday, when it's Mother's Day and I have to deal with more disappointment. Maybe someday it will change. This site is so wonderful because we can post without judgements, even if we can't think of anything positive.

Had my CAT scan today. Didn't realize the effect the Barium would have on me. Lost all the weight from my birthday!

My sleep meds are really kicking in so I must say goodnight. Love and gratitude to all, Jane

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