Prayer Circles


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Shane Whalen
This Prayer Circle is Dedicated to my son Shane Whalen Who Passed Away On March 15, 1999 at the Age of 24, & All Other Children


Start a prayer circle for bereaved parents who have lost a child.


There are many of us out there who have lost a child, and it is devastating. It changes the outlook on life, plunges you into a depression, and you think that the feelings and thoughts you have nobody else could possibly relate to. I think a prayer circle for bereaved parents would only benefit us and help us on our journey of grief. This Circle is one of Love, where a Grieving Parent can safely come to for Prayers, and to talk about their feelings.

 
Shaner -10/14/2000
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jpot
4/24/2007 12:05

Dear Chris,

Right now I cry pretty easy, but those commercials were awesome and I cried through all but one. I know we don't live in a "Hallmark" world, but to me most of the commercials were a reminder that we need to show appreciation to those we love today, because we don't know the future. Love, Jane


jpot
4/24/2007 12:05

Dear Chris,

Right now I cry pretty easy, but those commercials were awesome and I cried through all but one. I know we don't live in a "Hallmark" world, but to me most of the commercials were a reminder that we need to show appreciation to those we love today, because we don't know the future. Love, Jane


jpot
4/24/2007 12:06

Sorry, I tried the back and forward browser to make it submit, and you get the double blessing!


Shaner
4/25/2007 09:55

Hello our dear Charlene,
Great to see you back, you were missed! Gee, it really sound's as though you made your Landlady's day for her, that's so nice, for you and your hubby and especially her. God bless you both and may Our Lord keep her in His loving care.
And you got to do some sight-seeing while in Albuquerque as well, a mini-vacation, :).
Prayers gone out for your Mom and her surgery today, I know she'll be so happy to see clearly again! Yes, may this be a time of closer bonding with your Mom as you lovingly tend to her as she recuperates,
Much love & Hugs,
Sandy


Shaner
4/25/2007 10:14

Ah dear Jane, I had to chuckle at your response, .....shades of Orwelian? NO, I'm not spying on you, ha, ha. Actually I only read two of your responses, where you gave comfort and support to another there, just as you do here so they can consider themselves blessed that you're posting there.
As I said, I may go over there once a week or every 10 days or so to read the last few posts, so please don't count on me to know exactly what's going on with you, that thread has become very big now!
I just thought of something....I don't think they have a Host for that Board..you'd make a wonderful one, if you're interested!
Anyway, very happy you're still here with us too :).
When you explained the Movie, I know exactly who you're talking about now, Oprah did a show on forgiveness and they were on it, amazing through God's Graces how the Dad forgave the young man and how close they've become since then!
Yes ma'am, double the blessings!
Much love & Hugs,
Sandy


KPETERSEN
4/25/2007 18:49

Hi dear sisters!
I am so sorry I have been gone so long. I think I have finally made it through the tunnel and out the other side! I wanted to thank you all for your prayers and for thinking of me. I enjoy all of your emails. I have a lot of catching up to do...maybe I will just start from here. I came and read at times and I prayed for you all when needed. There are so many things going on in my life and in my family's life. So many changes to go through. I can tell you I am not a fan of change. All in all I am doing ok. Jane, thank you for missing me. I am so sorry that I haven't posted. I feel like a deserter sometimes by not coming. But I love you all and I am so glad to be back!

Kathy


LOVE2U
4/26/2007 01:47

Hello everyone, ~ Please forgive me for being away for so long. I have an awful lot of catching up to do. I have been dealing with depression over the loss of a close friend to cancer. This note is just to let you all know that my prayers for everyone is ongoing and also to thank you all for keeping me in your prayers. I hope to post again soon.
Love, (((HUGS))), and prayers,
Verna [aka Miss V.]


havelost4
4/26/2007 11:12

Thank you all for your prayers! Mother came through her cataract surgery just fine; my sister and I got the 'privilege'(?) of watching it on closed-circuit tv. It was interesting, to say the least. :o)
My sister had taken the day off from work yesterday and stayed with Mother last night; my brother had taken off the day today to take Mother back to the dr. for a checkup so I didn't argue with him. He'll bring her here this afternoon and she'll stay with us for a few days.
I'm still trying to rest up from our trip; Tuesday was the worst day--I couldn't seem to stop crying because I was so exhausted. The powder that I can't take any more for my joints is being replaced by a liquid that I started Tuesday evening. It will take a while before I know if it 'works' for me; it's much more expensive than the powder so I hope it works!!!
Love you all dearly!
Love and (((HUGS))),
Charlene


smile713
4/26/2007 18:17

I try to not take my "good health" for granted but I forget sometimes. I thank you god for keeping me healthy. Remember my promise to you, if you keep me healthy I will find a job that I can truely help people. I will!
At this time I would like to pray dear god that you help all the pain and injuries and ailments and surgeries that are going on to my friends and their families. Please help them heal and be pain free. Amen


havelost4
4/27/2007 12:02

To all,
I have been getting angry and nasty emails from my daughter again because her grandpa (my hubby's dad) is in a nursing home. I think all of her anger is coming out from the girls' deaths but she doesn't see that. She can really use your prayers--her name is Cathy. God is making me strong to be calm about her anger and He is giving me insight about her anger. I thank Him and praise Him about that; and pray that He will continue to make me strong to stand up against any opposition to what He is telling me to do.
Thank you all for your prayers on my behalf; my Mother is still here with us and we're getting along fine.
Love and (((HUGS))),
Charlene
p.s. You are all in my thoughts and prayers daily. Much love to you all!


jpot
4/28/2007 01:08

Just checking if I can submit.


jpot
4/28/2007 01:10

Hi Everyone.

Sorry if it seems I'm MIA. I think my body has decided it needs a break. When I get home from work, I'm too exhausted to do much of anything. They are remodeling my dept and everything is a mess! I have discovered muscles I didn't know about. For days I have been lifting, shoving, pulling, unloading and searching for merchandise. It's not awful, just a lot of hard physical work sometimes. Today, I had a break from it cuz, I was scheduled off and picked up hours in another department. For much of the day I was in fragrance and that really was very funny. I know so little about that dept, and the manager of the day knew less than I did! It was different, easy and for the most part fun. After work I shopped and spent all the money I made today, and probably yesterday. We had a special sale, the clearance was even lower and I found a lot. One reason I like my dept is because I don't see all the clothing deals. However, I must have some clothes that fit (some of my slacks are actually falling off me) so today was a good day to buy. (will try to submit this far and then continue)


jpot
4/28/2007 01:10

I will be undergoing several procedures to see if there is a medical reason for all my weight loss. I know that most people would love to have that problem, however, I'm not trying and still losing over 3 pounds a month. I'm hardly ever hungry and just eat because I've made a contract with several friends to eat 2 meals a day. Many times it is very painful after I eat, so I don't have a lot of motivation to do so. It looks like the month of May will be one of testing again.

I'm not really sure of everything that is going on emotionally. I have figured out that work issues are just a trigger for me. I can easily cry because of issues there. I can cry watching a tear jerker like last Sunday. However, I had not cried at all about Gram or Bob. With Bob, I don't know that I have to mourn him. I went into the position knowing I was helping him until God called him home. There was a closeness and great compassion for him. However, it was such a great relief when he went to Heaven, that I can't mourn him. I do miss him sometimes, especially his "good" days when he would joke around. I'm almost finished with his apartment, then I turn the keys in. Most people who have been involved with Bob have something personal from him. I don't, I may look into what's left but there really wasn't anything I wanted. On the other hand, I know I'm afraid to really grieve for Gram. I'm afraid if I really let myself feel, it will be overwhelming and I will want to medicate it away. For me that would be so wrong because I was addicted for years to precription meds. I do have some for those very infrequent nights when I can't sleep. Maybe every 2 months that will happen. I can't allow myself to medicate the pain away because that was the way I lived for years. So it's a struggle, feel the pain, or ignore it. By ignoring it, I don't help myself or even honor Gram. That's part of the help call last week. It's weird how something so troubling like work can really be about unresolved grief. My therapist pointed out that I had celebrated Gram's life,(with my friends from church) but haven't even touched on what was lost. Guess I still have work to do. All that to say why I've been pretty quiet and to thank you all for your prayers.

Sandy, thank you for your kind words. I knew you weren't stalking me, it just seemed funny when I saw your welcome back post. I think Cathy is the host of that thread. I'll do some checking this weekend and if they need one, I'll pray about it. Kathy, it is so good to see you back. You have been in my prayers so often. Charlene, I think your Cathy is doing what I have been doing. If she's angry about her grandfather, she doesn't have to deal with the anger and grief over her girls. I know that God has given you some real insight into what's going on with her. I have added Cathy to my prayers along with you and everyone here.

Now that I have written about a chapter in my "online book" I better close. My eyelids don't want to stay open. Love and gratitude to all, as always you're all in my prayers even when I'm silent. Jane


jpot
4/28/2007 01:12

Sorry about that everyone, I tried to submit the last two posts several times and it kept saying page not available. So I did the phony one first. Since it submitted, I figured this site doesn't take chapters at a time LOL. Therefore the strange break in my post. Jane


jpot
4/28/2007 01:14

Dear Verna,
Didn't mean to forget you. I pray your doing ok. Death is so hard for those of us left behind. You are definitely in my prayers. Love, Jane


havelost4
4/28/2007 10:53

Thank you JANE, for your prayers and words. I know her anger is from the girls' deaths, but also a lot of anger is coming out about her 'colored' past, aimed at me and her dad. She said via email yesterday not to email her any more because she would just delete it; so I'm not emailing her any more but I'm praying for God to soften her heart.
This song keeps repeating itself in my head for the past several days so I want to share the words with you all; I don't know if I've posted these words before, but they are very appropriate for us all.

Part the Waters (by Charles F. Brown)

Chorus:
When I think I'm goin' under,
part the waters, Lord.
When I feel the waves around me,
calm the sea.
When I cry for help
O hear me , Lord,
and hold out your hand.
Touch my life,
still the raging storm in me.

Knowing you love me
through the burdens I must bear,
Hearing your footsteps
lets me know I'm in your care;
and in the night of my life
you bring the promise of day.
Here is my hand,
show me the way.

(Chorus)

Knowing you love me
helps me face another day,
Hearing your footsteps
drives the clouds and fears away;
and in the tears of my life
I see the sorrow you bore.
Here is my pain,
heal it once more.

(Chorus)

LOVE YOU ALL!!
Love and (((HUGS))),
Charlene


jpot
4/28/2007 14:10

Dear Charlene,

I love that song, I don't think I have heard it before. It's a bouyant reminder that we are never alone, even when it feels that way.

Sometimes, with our children all we can do is let go and let God intervene. I have found with my children if I take responsibility for my part, ie confirming what they experienced was true, it tones down the anger. Because I basically neglected my children for around 9 yrs, I had a lot of responsibility to own up to. Two of my sons have forgiven me, one has not. My oldest, when I asked him to forgive me he stated, "It's up to God to forgive, and I can hold on to grudges." I pray often that can see me as a new person and offer forgiveness. All I know right now is that it is in his ballpark, not mine. On the other side, my youngest, has repeatedly told me he understood the dynamics of my marriage and all the pain I was in. We did have that confrontation that every mother fears, when all the anger comes out, and he had a lot. From the ages of 5-14 I wasn't involved very much in his life. He could never count on me for anything. He couldn't even depend on me to be alive when he came home from school. When he was 14 I was divorced and his father got custody and immediately married his ex-wife, which left him with a stepmother with major issues. I was only allowed to see him one night a week for a couple of hours for the first 2 yrs. One night a couple of years ago, he let it all out, telling me what it felt like to be six and think his mom was going to die every by her own hands. I just let him vent (very angry and loud) and then told him everything he said was true, and I was truly sorry. I asked for his forgiveness and he gave it. Every once in a while he'll bring that period up, not as anger, more as a fact in his life. He has since told me that he was really glad I left the marriage because he couldn't see anyway I could have been healed. He also has told me he now understands that I was mentally ill, and did not choose to neglect him. He has amazing insight for being only 20. All this to say I understand anger issues our children have. I know my children have extreme issues, but every child has some anger issues because there are no perfect parents. Hope this helps a little. Love, Jane


havelost4
4/28/2007 17:03

JANE,
I'm sorry you had to go through all that in your life; but doesn't God do a wonderful job of cleaning us up and making us new? It's hard to be accused by your own child of being a failure as a parent; but there comes a time when the 'child' has to own his/her own responsibility and apologize to the parent for being such a 'brat'. I had to do that with my mother and it is a humbling experience. Why is it that some children have to 'do it their own way' and won't listen to adult advice while they're growing up? I was one of those children, even though outwardly I did conform to an image of a 'perfect' child. It seems like we parents have to learn and grow up the same time as our children are learning and growing. I feel like my granddaughters' deaths changed me a LOT; making me grow up and mature some more. If I could have attained some of this wisdom when I was younger, I could have saved myself a lot of heartache. :o)
I hope and pray that you have a good time at work today! Thanks for your 'story'; it helps to know that I'm not alone.
Love and (((HUGS))),
Charlene


jpot
4/28/2007 23:07

Dear Charlene,
It's funny you wrote that children need to ask forgiveness of their parents. For the last few days the Holy Spirit has been telling me that I need to ask forgiveness of my mother for something she doesn't even know about. Like you, I outwardly did conform to the "perfect" child. However, it was during those years that I learned how to be passive aggressive. And I became very good at it. Unlike some of my siblings, when my mother was abusive, I didn't fight back. I was too afraid of her. I wore glasses and many times after she hurt me, I would purposely break them, telling her it was an accident. I was always a klutz, so I would just saw I fell or bumped into something. Somehow she always believed me and I received new glasses, which I knew she had to pay for. Little did I realize at the time that if she had to keep buying me glasses, there were things we had to go without. There were other things I also did to get even with her. So your post hit me squarely where it needed to. What I was trying to get at with my last post is that everyone has anger issues with their parents. As parents we own up to our part and ask their forgiveness. It's never appropriate for an adult child to lay all their anger at their parents. And there does come a time when the adult child has to get over it and stop the blame game. I agree with you, as parents we do grow as our children are growing. We make many mistakes along the way, and they don't come with guarantees, doesn't work, send it back.

Thank you for your post. As much as I hate the thought of asking my mom for forgiveness this has reinforced that I must. Love, Jane


havelost4
4/28/2007 23:26

JANE,
I'm so glad that I was able to help you! I have apologized to Cathy when I knew what the problem was, but most of the time her emails don't make sense to me and I don't understand what her anger is about; it's almost like disconnected wording that I don't understand.
Your making the connection between what I said and asking forgiveness of your mother reminds me of a comment you made earlier(earlier in the week I think) about my having a closer relationship with my mother. We have gotten closer since January when she stayed with us during the ice storm. I've been able to apologize to her for my behavior while I was growing up and after I left home; I've also been able to share things with her about my personal life that I've never shared with anyone else. She's been very supportive and hasn't fainted so I take that as a good sign. :o)
Thank you for your love and encouragement!
Love and (((HUGS))),
Charlene
p.s. I'll be praying for you, that God shows you the right/perfect time for you to share with your mom, and that she will be receptive and forgiving toward you.


smile713
4/29/2007 22:07

I too have done both. I talked to my mom before she died and told her how much I apreciated what she has done for me and for her love and forgive me for anything bad I did. I also let old things go. We both cried and felt so much better about everything. Now that she's gone I'm really glad we talked. As me "the mother" I have told my children I don't pretend to be perfect and I know I have made some mistakes. I have moments of guilt that come and go for me. My children still suffer and might always have problems from their abusive father. Whom I chose to stay with. I was to scared to leave for fear of being killed or him hurting my children so I stayed. Now that I am strong I feel that I could have left earlier but hey who knows what would have happened. God has his plans. Then I know I can't blame myself for things he has done but, they do understand and have not been mad at me but I get mad at myself, sometimes.
I think that's part of it it can be harder to forgive ourselves than others.


havelost4
5/1/2007 09:49

Thank you Chris for your input. I think talking face to face with Cathy would be better than emailing back and forth, but she refuses to do that; she says she's not comfortable with 'confrontation'. Email words might be interpreted in the wrong way and face to face can be a faster way of having questions answered. We're going to her baby's first birthday party on Sunday and I'm almost dreading it; I'd like to talk and air things out, but since she said she doesn't want to hear it--I'll just have to keep praying.
Love and (((HUGS))),
Charlene


jpot
5/1/2007 22:33

Dear Charlene,
I'll remember you on Sunday. You'll need a lot of prayer support. Thank you and Chris for your advise. I plan on speaking with my mom on Mother's Day. She is not easy to speak with, and I just received a birthday card from her, which will make it harder for me to do my part. Love, Jane


jpot
5/1/2007 22:42

Hi Everyone,

Just wanted to check in. It's a extremely busy week for me, and it seems that way for lots here. Please know that I'm praying for all. Tomorrow is my b'day and I have never celebrated like this before. I thought only my accountability group would celebrate, which they did tonight. Well this afternoon, my coworkers had a party for me, giving me a card that congratulating upon reaching 50. I asked them if it was possible to go back 5 yrs as I will be 55 tomorrow! It was funny and they were very kind and generous. Tomorrow my youngest son is taking me out. Thursday, my roommate, Mike asked if he could take me out for my b'day. Hey, I don't turn anyone down. Mike and I are good friends and I do enjoy his company, just not all the time. Right now the overwhelming sadness is not here, but still that sense that someone important is missing out on my celebrations. I will really miss calling her on Mother's Day. In the past I have always called my mom first, out of duty, then Gram. Gram never knew I called mom first, she just knew how to encourage me. I miss that. Love and gratitude to all, Jane

 
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