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Shane Whalen
This Prayer Circle is Dedicated to my son Shane Whalen Who Passed Away On March 15, 1999 at the Age of 24, & All Other Children

Start a prayer circle for bereaved parents who have lost a child.

There are many of us out there who have lost a child, and it is devastating. It changes the outlook on life, plunges you into a depression, and you think that the feelings and thoughts you have nobody else could possibly relate to. I think a prayer circle for bereaved parents would only benefit us and help us on our journey of grief. This Circle is one of Love, where a Grieving Parent can safely come to for Prayers, and to talk about their feelings.

Shaner -10/14/2000
send to a friend

Read Prayers.

4/3/2007 23:12

Hi All,
Another quick update on Bob. According to his hospice nurse he is in his last days. The confusion and incoherence is back and his coloring is pretty bad. I saw him tonight and he still recognized me and was able to tell me who had visited him today. However, he kept dozing off the whole time I was there. I'm leaving town on Friday and don't know if he'll still be with us when I get back on Monday. Today I told Judy his POA that when he gets home, we're going to have a huge celebration. Love to all, Jane

4/5/2007 08:57

Hi dear Jane,
I pray that Bob has a very peaceful passing, he fought the good fight, he ran the good race and Heaven is waiting for him.
I hope you have a lovely weekend out of town.
Hello all dear sisters,
I too will be off line, Chris and Jialing are coming up for Easter and will be here tomorrow morning. Tonight we have Holy Thursday Service to attend, commemorating Our Lord's Last Supper and on Good Friday we'll all attend the Services at 3pm. And then of course the Joy of Easter Sunday!
For our Mom's who are hurting badly right now, I pray you have a peace-filled weekend and Easter, memories of past Easter's with Egg Hunt's, Chocolate Bunnies are bound to surface, so please take it one minute, one hour at a time.
A very Happy and Joyful Easter to everyone else, lot's of love and {{Hugs}} to all,

4/6/2007 05:52

Hello dear angel moms, ~ I thank God for having all of you in my life. There have been many times when unknowingly you have posted words that helped me and others get through a difficult time. So many times, in addition to grieving the loss of a child other loved one, we are faced with other issues such as our failing health, worrying about other loved ones and friends, trying to make ends meet, etc. Through it all, it helps to know that others are praying for us throughout the days and nights. Also, we know that God hears our many prayers and that He cares about what is going on within each of our lives. I believe strongly that it is because of our faith in a loving and caring God that each of us are given the strength we need to carry on in His holy name until it is our time to enter the gates of heaven where there will be no more dying, or sadness; just joy forevermore.

This is a sad time for me but also a time of joy and the renewing of my faith. It was on an Easter Sunday morning [years ago] that family and I received a phone call from California informing us of the tragic and unexpected death of my oldest brother. My brother, Herman, was killed by a hit and run driver. Though I relive the sadness of how it affected our entire family, I will never forget seeing my mother walking up and down the street holding a towel over her face to soften her screams as I arrived to be there for her and grieve with her, Auntie, and the rest of our family who arrived shortly thereafter. That was many, many years ago, but Lord, I still remember.

I also recall happier times during the Easter holidays. It was during this time that our family first learned that our Diane had been given the gift of voice. We were joyfully surprised when at age four, she sang In the Garden at her kindergarten graduation.

The greatest joy, however, is recalling that our Savior rose on that Easter Sunday morning so long ago after dying for the sins of the human race, so that all who believe have a right to live forever. To God, be the glory!

The following short poem I’ve shared here before which was written by the sister of a dear friend many, many years ago. As we remember the reason for the season, may this poem bless your upcoming Easter Holiday as it has mine in years gone by. To God be the glory!

God sent His Son to save us,
Oh how He must have loved us!
To send His Son,
His only begotten Son!

4/6/2007 06:12

Cindy, ... "We remember!" May God give you the strength to make it through the day with all the bitter/sweet memories which I know you will have throughout this special day. A dear friend and coworker who lost her only son to an accidental shooting 3 years before we lost Diane once said to me, "Well, you've made it the first few years. Remember, they are exactly where we would want them to be, just not at the time we would have chosen."
You and family and also Krissy's friends are all in my prayers!
Love & Hugs from Heaven,
[aka]Miss V.
[The name you, Sandy, and Selva gave to me years ago.]:)

4/6/2007 06:15

Cindy, ... "We remember!" May God give you the strength to make it through the day with all the bitter/sweet memories which I know you will have throughout this special day. A dear friend and coworker who lost her only son to an accidental shooting 3 years before we lost Diane once said to me, "Well, you've made it the first few years. Remember, they are exactly where we would want them to be, just not at the time we would have chosen."
You and family and also Krissy's friends are all in my prayers!
Love & Hugs from Heaven,
[aka]Miss V. :)
[The name you, Sandy, and Selva started calling me years ago.]:)

4/6/2007 06:19

As our dear Sandy would say ...
:):) Double the post, double the blessing! :):)

4/6/2007 22:06

Hi all,
I'm late posting today, but I've been busy the last few days sewing for the grandkids, cleaning house, and baking for Easter. Everyone will be here tomorrow (Sat.); I told my daughters that I would fix all the meal if they would plan the games and Easter egg hunt for the afternoon. Well, we've had snow and freezing temperatures for the past 2 days and here I am cooking and they aren't going to have the hunt. LOL. Oh well, it will be a pleasure just to have them all here. It is strange, though, to see snow with the green grass and lilac bushes blooming, and tulips blooming. We've not had any accumulation because the ground is too warm, but a few more days of these freezing temperatures and all the green will be gone.
I'm wishing and praying for all of you to have a very wonderful, joyous Easter. Because Christ arose, we have hope! Someday we will be with our children/grandchildren again!
Thank you Verna for your Easter memories.
Cindy, you've been in my prayers off and on all day. I pray that you will wake up refreshed tomorrow as another anniversary date is behind you.
I pray for safe travelling for all of you who are away from home this weekend; for enjoyable visiting with family for all of you who are celebrating Easter with family; for peace and love and comfort for all of you this Easter holiday. May God richly bless you all for sharing my burdens with me.
Love and (((HUGS))),

4/7/2007 09:33

I want to wish everyone a Joyus Easter. I have been very busy with painting and baking and cleaning. Now I have the whole week with the boys. I might be crazy by the time they go back to school. I will be praying for you all and hopfully be back to post after everyone is back to the normal routine here. Love Ya All
Lee Ann

4/9/2007 15:36

Hello Everyone,
Our dear Charlene, it sound's as though we had the same weather! Wouldn't you know it though, today is much nicer and will continue to be warmer as the week progress's.
OUR DEAR MISS V, it's so good to see a Post from you, YES, double the blessings, I've missed you here, so it was a pleasant surprise!
Our dear LEE ANN, hope you had a nice Easter, you may be a little 'restless' by the end of this week, but you know you love having the boys there, :)
We had a very nice Easter, what could be better than sharing it with your family, it was so nice to have Chris and Jialing up for the weekend and have our Easter Dinner together.
Yes, dear Charlene, I pray we all take a measure of joy, hope and comfort from Our Lord's death on the Cross and His Ressurection, if not for what He did for us all, we wouldn't see our children, grandchildren again.
Love you all & Hugs,

4/9/2007 15:54

Hi All,
I'm back from Indiana where we also had snow for Easter. I hope everyone had a blessed Easter. We did. I went to church with my friend and they had a baptism by emersion service. I never have been to one on Easter, but I thought it was really appropriate. Somehow it made Christ's ressurection more real to me.

I woke up yesterday (Easter) and knew it was Bob's Homecomming Day. My first thought was he may not have made it to church but was a Worship Service he was celebrating in Heaven. I received the call at 2:45 (CS) that he went Home at 1:45. He did make it to church. I don't have all the details yet because the people who called me were busy making lots of calls. From what I was told, the van driver was late getting Bob to church. When he arrived the service switched focus and everyone surrounded Bob. I was told that at any given moment there were at least six hands on him. He was prayed for, hugged and kissed. Many people there felt he was ushered into Heaven then, because in the end he lost consciousness. In the van he was in a full coma. At the nursing home when the hospice nurse saw him she laid him in bed and prayed for him. Then Judy (the POA) and her family came in. The nurse told them to tell Bob it was ok to leave. He raised his hand and breathed his last breathe. What a way to go! Not only did he celebrate Easter with his earthly family of faith, he also got in on the Heavenly celebration! I'm sorry I missed it, but I knew it was a real good probability that I would. I also knew I was in the right place for Easter.

I still have to arrange for his apartment to be cleaned out. Find people who need the food and clothes. Not sure what furniture is his. After that my committment to Bob is over. I think I may be entering a more quiet season for awhile. Betty and Bob are both gone so it appears that I will have a lot more free time. Right now it just feels wierd that I have time in the afternoon to post without interuption. Cindy, I'm sorry I missed posting on your special day. I pray it was filled with peaceful and happy memories. Love to all, Jane

4/11/2007 10:24

Hi dear Jane,
Glad to hear you had a nice Easter as well.
Bob went home...on Easter Sunday, you're so right, what a wonderful day for God to call him home on! That's so nice that he wasn't alone, with his Church family there with him. I know it has to be a little sad for you and its probably going to feel strange going through his Apt., cleaning it out.
Maybe you need this quiet season for awhile, until God give's you your next mission, then you'll be off and running once again, :) You're such a good, loving person, always faithful and loyal,
Much love & Hugs,

4/11/2007 19:43

Dear Sandy,

It felt really strange for me to start the cleaning while Bob was alive. I felt I knew too much information and couldn't share it with him. It almost felt like I had somehow violated him. I know I didn't, it just felt that way. With him in Heaven, it won't be as hard. This is definitely a quiet season, since Betty also moved with no forwarding address. I went from being constantly on the go to being home by myself often. Right now I am enjoying it. I know the Lord will send someone else along when I'm ready. Right now I'm not sad about Bob because of all he suffered. However, I know that may change. His memorial is Fri night and Judy and I are not to do anything, except maybe speak. We both are comfortable with being able to speak "on the spot" so there's nothing to prepare. I know that lots of food is coming, and I'm not cooking anything! Sounds good to me. Thank you for your kind words. Love, Jane

4/12/2007 08:40

Yes, our dear Sandy, ~ It always warms my heart to be able to get a post of encouragement in every now and then since I’ve been spending a little more time on trying to get serious about taking better care of my health. As most of you know, that is kind of a "new-be" for me.:) I have to laugh sometimes especially when I think of all the many years I wasted on doing a lot of unimportant stuff that at the time seemed the right thing to do; none of which had much to do with taking care of my own physical, mental and emotional well being. I’ve read a lot of information on how to learn from past mistakes. Yet, I still find myself making a whole lot of mistakes as it relates to taking care of me. Maya Angelo said, “When we learn better, we do better!” Ha-ha! Well, to that I say, “I’m a slow learner and still in the learning stage about a whole lot of issues; especially as it relates to my health!” But, be that as it may, I am still trying to slow down and do a little better, one day at a time. Having said that, now I’d like to share a few words of inspiration from a tiny daily word calendar, which sits on my desk right next to my computer. It's written by one of my favorite authors. :) Love to you, and all the other Angel Moms/Grand Moms! And please, please, take care of yourselves - all of y’all! Always know … You are loved and needed to do God’s work!
God’s peace & blessings,
Verna [aka Miss V.]
God wants us to live with His “yes” upon our lives. The greatest things come from Him, are through Him, and go back to Him. There is nothing more important than to have his approval … His consent … His blessing upon our thoughts and our actions. Our hearts should seek to make His heart glad. The greatest words we can hear from our Father are “This is My child in whom I am well pleased.”
(April 11th)
From: Never Forgotten ~ Always Loved!
By: Roy Lessin

4/12/2007 09:15

And here are the inspirational words for today. :)
But after that the kindness and love of God our Saviour toward man appeared, not by works of righteousness which we have done, but according to His mercy He saved us, by the washing of regeneration, and renewing of the Holy Ghost.
Titus 3:4, 5
April 12th

4/12/2007 09:22

Woops! ~ the above verses were also selected from the bible to be shared in the little calendar of inspirational words by Roy Lessin. :)

4/12/2007 11:29

... And The Holy Spirit said,

"Go write this down!" :)

Along Life’s Highway

Father, we thank You today…
For helping each of us along life’s highway
For inspiring us to lend a helping hand
To inspire each other in anyway we can

Lord we can’t know the future …
As we know … You do
But by Faith we know
As we’re traveling through

We were sent here for a reason
We may never understand
Why our hearts have been shattered
In this cold, unfair, and unfriendly land!

But with Faith, Hope, and Love…
One thing we know is true …
We should strive each day
To become more like You!

You give so freely the tools to share
To reach out to each other and show that we care
We are humbled as we strive
To do your biddings each day!

Therefore … we thank You again Dear Father
For inspiring us to think, act, and strive
To become more like You …
As we continue to travel - along life’s highway!

Verna R. Clay

4/12/2007 20:45

Hello to All,

Verna, your poem was so beautiful. Psalm 92 reminds us to thank God in the morning for his love and in the evening for his faithfullness. This is something I am starting to do on a daily basis. Your poem reminded me of that. I also loved the devotional. Sometimes at night I use my imagination to hear God say that to me. Coming from an abused background without a father most of my life, those words both bring comfort and at the same time make me uncomfortable. Words of affirmation are still hard to receive. However, I'm getting much better with that.

To everyone: I had so much fun delivering cookies and thank you notes to the hospital units that helped Bob so much. They were so surprised! Several cried and one person just hugged me. These people were so kind and caring for Bob, I knew I had to do something for them. I thought of flowers, but because I'm on a limited budget let that one go. I know if I felt that strongly about flowers I could have had my church pay for them. Then I thought about baking for them. The first thought was brownies cuz they're so easy, but I thought which would I prefer, brownies from a box or home made chocolate chip cookies. I chose the cookies. I started them last night and finished them this morning. From the reaction I received I've decided we're a nation that doesn't show gratitude very often. We expect people to do there job and never thank them for doing it so well. I want to change that with the people I encounter along life's path. So again Sandy, I thank you for starting this prayer circle. I thank each one of you for all your encourage, support and especially prayers.

Kathy, I just want you to know that you are missed here. I pray for you often that your Heavenly Father will lead you out of your darkness. I know that if you could you would post, so I want to assure you that you are missed but definitely not forgotten.

Selva, I know this is a very busy week for you. You're also in my prayers.

Charlene, you haven't posted for almost a week. I pray that you're feeling ok and didn't overdue it on Easter.

Love and gratitude to all, Jane

4/12/2007 21:47

Hi all,
I'm finally feeling like getting back on here and catching up. Yes, Jane, I did overdo for Easter, but I went yesterday to my lady who massages my neck and back and I feel soooooooo much better today. Monday was a downer day for me; all I could do was cry. Most of it was the exhaustion from the festivities over the weekend, and the sewing and preparation for Easter; but I had a flashback Monday of the day the girls were in the carwreck and I cried through that too. My tears for them didn't last as long and weren't as deep as they used to be, but it was intense for a while. I guess that's what it means when we say that God brings us through our grief one step at a time; otherwise we wouldn't be able to handle it if it came all at once.
I spent the day with my mother today too; I want to spend as much time as I can with her; she's 81 and still is able to drive herself places and take care of herself but I don't know how many more years/months she will have left. I'm learning that life is too short to waste it on unimportant stuff, as Verna said. I'm also starting to machine quilt and that's kept me busy learning and practicing. Hopefully it will turn into a business (of sorts) someday soon. And some of the grandkids are busy into the soccer season so I'm trying to go to their games. We haven't started softball/baseball yet and I'm glad; it's too cold to be out for night games! Several of my trees and bushes have dead leaves hanging on them from the frost we got last week; it's supposed to freeze again this weekend. I was all prepared for nice warm Spring days and it's been so cold that I've had to get my winter pajamas out again! :o)
Much love and (((HUGS))) to you all!
p.s. Thank you Verna for your devotional thoughts and scriptures; and your poem.

4/13/2007 11:57

Dear Charlene,

So glad to see you posting again. I'm sorry your Monday was so hard. Often that happens when we overextend ourselves. I agree that God brings us through our grief gradually. If all the emotions were to hit us at once, who could stand it? So when the need comes, keep allowing yourself to cry. I was at a retreat last month where the speaker said our pain is in layers (like that famous onion). God heals us one layer at a time, because that's all we're ready for. So maybe your "onion" is getting smaller! How are things going with your daughter (the girls mom)? I find myself praying for your relationship often. Also, has there be more connection with your sister-in-law? Still praying for that to continue. Love, Jane

4/13/2007 12:07

Hi All,

I am speaking at Bob's memorial service tonight. I was one of four who were "guaranteed" to speak. Yesterday, I received an e-mail from my pastor. He asked me to keep it around 3 1/2 min and knew it would be very powerful. I wonder what he knows that I don't right now. So I'm asking anyone reading this today to please pray that the Lord gives me the right words to say. My pastor stated that the CD of the service was going out to many people and he wanted to point the way to God through our eulogy. Bob's life was radically changed when he encountered Jesus. That's the Bob his family didn't know. His father is alive but cannot attend because of health issues. This CD is to bring him hope and reassurance that Bob did make good choices toward the end of his life. I need to go and really pray about what I'm to add. Thank you so much for all your prayers. Love and gratitude to all, Jane

4/13/2007 22:14

Hi everyone,
Just came back from Bob's memorial. Everything went awesome. My words were received well and I was thanked by many afterwards. I used Gal 5, the fruit of the Spirit when discussing Bob. Then I turned the focus on our body and used Eph 4:15-16 where it talks about when every part is working properly we build ourselves up in love. I used Casting Crown's song "If We are the Body" and showed how we were. That part came to me about an hour before the service. Maybe I'll post some of that later. Thank you for praying. Love and gratitude, Jane

4/14/2007 10:17

Hi Jane,
I'm so glad that everything went well for Bob's memorial services. Yes, God does an awesome job through us when we can hear Him right and do what He says. I know that song well even though I don't know all the words--'if we are the body, then why aren't His hands reaching'...etc. It's a very good song with very good words.
Yes, I'm still very much in contact with my sister-in-law. She's recently had a new grandbaby who's been having problems since birth so that's complicated her life quite a bit, having to be away from home a lot. But we're still communicating by phone and email. It seems so strange to be communicating after 5 years of no contact at all; our lives have become so complex that it's hard to 'catch up' on all that we've missed. And there's so much new going on with her granddaughter, her dad in a nursing home now, her husband at home with MS. I'd like to be able to help her, but I don't feel physically able right now. (I've had to stop taking the powder that I was taking for Lyme Disease because it was upsetting my stomach--I found out this past Wed. that the formula of the powder had been changed and I was really upset about it. My joints feel like they're worse than they were before I started taking the powder. We're working on a solution and I hope it happens soon!)
As far as my middle daughter, our relationship is better but not as close as it used to be. I have been reading some about head injuries and how they sometimes change the personality of the person affected--I think that could be part of her problem. She has internet access again and some of her emails 'sound' almost loud with some anger/frustration in the words. (I don't know if that makes sense.) She seems critical of everyone and everything now; I noticed that at Easter too when they were all here. I try not to take it personally and just pray for her and us.
We are getting snow this morning!!!! It's already covered the ground; it's strange to see my flowers and GREEN bushes drooping under the snow. :o)
Gotta go.
Love and (((HUGS))),

4/14/2007 12:13

To All,
(Especially Charlene since you mentioned that song), this is how I addressed our body. The section about Bob has been omitted.

Ephesians 4:15-16
Rather, speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ, from whom the whole body, joined and held together by every joint with which it is equipped, when each part is working properly, makes the body grow so that it builds itself up in love.

For those of us who are memorizing Ephesians these verses should be familiar. While working with Bob, I saw these verses unfold in our body. There was never a general e-mail sent out to the body asking for help for Bob. Instead individuals responded to the Holy Spirit’s leading and came forward asking how they could help. It was amazing to see such a response from the diversity of our family members. The younger, older, married, single, male and female person each knew their part. Therefore all our parts were working properly and our body did grow and consequently has built itself up in love.

Casting Crowns has a song called, “If We Are the Body.” The chorus is most poignant.

But if we are the body
Why aren't His arms reaching?
Why aren't His hands healing?
Why aren't His words teaching?
And if we are the body
Why aren't His feet going?
Why is His love not showing them there is a way?

Casting Crowns hasn’t met our body. Our arms were doing laundry, shopping, cleaning, cooking, bathing and hugging Bob. Our hands were placed on Bob in prayer, paying for supplies, buying him meals and holding his during the tough times. Our words were speaking Truth into Bob, praying for him, and advocating for him. Our feet were driving for him, walking with him in the hospital corridors and visiting various nursing homes to find the best placement for him. Our feet took us to the hospital and nursing home to show Bob Jesus’ love and our love.
So much of Ephesians is about unity and we have learned much. It was a wonderful privilege to watch our body grow into unity and minister to Bob.

Love and gratitude to all,

4/14/2007 13:36

That was beautiful! And I like the emphasis on what your body of believers was doing and not on Bob himself. I realize there's a place for that at funerals and memorial services, but I'd rather see the emphasis on God/Christ than all of the service focused on the person himself. For instance, I attended a funeral recently in which neither one of the men who spoke said anything about God or Christ or scripture (and they were supposed to be Christian ministers!); they emphasized how good a person the deceased had been. What good does that do to a person who fears death or who maybe has never heard the message of salvation? I realize that in this country you would think everyone has heard 'the message', but I don't think that's the case. I'll get off my soapbox for now. HaHa.
Your words really inspired me Jane. Thank you.
Love and (((HUGS))),

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