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Shane Whalen
This Prayer Circle is Dedicated to my son Shane Whalen Who Passed Away On March 15, 1999 at the Age of 24, & All Other Children

Start a prayer circle for bereaved parents who have lost a child.

There are many of us out there who have lost a child, and it is devastating. It changes the outlook on life, plunges you into a depression, and you think that the feelings and thoughts you have nobody else could possibly relate to. I think a prayer circle for bereaved parents would only benefit us and help us on our journey of grief. This Circle is one of Love, where a Grieving Parent can safely come to for Prayers, and to talk about their feelings.

Shaner -10/14/2000
send to a friend

Read Prayers.

2/17/2002 19:22

Hello Barb, (eudora), I just read your post to Verna,(Love2U), and I am so happy that you feel comfortable here, and more importantly that your heart feels more healed since you came here. What a treasured gift that is! Of course we know your family loves you, but here, in our corner of the world, we can let our 'masks' down, be our real selves and say how we feel, and know that other moms are going through the same thing, or have gone through the same thing or things. Here on these pages you will find only love, compassion and understanding, and I know you'll find that also on Verna's page. It matters not to me what faith you practise, what does matter is that you want prayers to help you deal with your loss of your child, and a safe place to let your feelings out. And this Circle will always be a safe place as long as Beliefnet lets me do what I'm doing for Our Father and I'm certain that Verna would echo me. Here also, your child will be honoured and remembered, nobody will change the subject or feel awkward if they talk about their child. We all, collectively, draw strength from each other through our prayers and postings, you never know how your own words in a post will and can affect another mom. As I said, I always call on the Holy Spirit before I come here to this Circle, to help me write what would help another mom out, whether it just be listening, or acknowledging their loss, or talking and praying. I love Our Lord so much too, and serve the Father through Him, so all my trust is in Him also. May God bless you Barb, and in your praying for others, you will find that the blessings sent your way will be tenfold.
Luv Sandy

2/18/2002 00:53

dear barb and shaner.......i hadn't posted in a while, and i just wanted to update you both, and anyone else who's been following my story. i really apprecaite all of the prayers and words of support. i was able to go to ash wednesday mass, and i'm really hoping that this lenten season will truly be a season of renewal. i had a tragic day last friday....i had to put my most beloved pet ever to sleep. he was my baby, my kitty who could always make me smile no matter what. it was awful he was so sick with asthma and diabetes, i couldn't bear to watch him suffer anymore. as i was driving to the vet as he was struggling to breathe, i was crying so hard in the car, and i really didn't know how i was going to cope with yet another loss. that's my dad, my baby, and my most cherished pet ever in 3 years. well, they always say things happen in 3's. i had a long talk with a dear friend of the family who is a priest, and he was hoping that this 3rd major loss could help bring closure to my other two losses in my life. i guess i never thought of it that way, and i suppose that remains to be seen. i know my little kiddo is up there in heaven, in a better place, with all my other family waiting for the day when i join them too. but i miss him so. the loss of a beloved pet is hard anytime, but when you're already suffering, it can be devastating. well, we've decided that this spring if i'm not pregnant on my own we will go back to our specialist and start infertility treatments again. i think i'll be ready by then. i am feeling more at peace these days, so i will ask you both to continue to pray for me. i think it's working. take care.

2/18/2002 08:27

Hello plapfm, I'm so happy to see you posting again, and your last line is music to my soul, the fact that you're feeling more at peace! What a wonderful transformation for you! I'm happy that you spoke with your family member who is a Priest, and that you've begun attending Mass, and went to the Ash Wednesday observance. I can SEE God's Hand at work now in your life! I'm so happy for you. Lent is a time for Renewal, so may this Lent truly be that time for you!
I'm so sorry you lost your beloved cat, losing a pet can be very devastating also, they become 'part' of the family, and it hurts also when we have to do the right thing by them, or they die on their own. We also had 2 dogs when the boys were growing up, and we had to put down the both of them, we cried our hearts out, for they truly were part of our family. When we saw one of their little toys around afterwards, we couldn't even bear to throw it out, until our grieving for them was done. Animals are God's creatures, beloved by Him who made them, and entrusted to us to take care of them. So losing your beloved kitty must have been so very hard for you!
I'm so happy that you're seeing things in a different light, and as you say, when you're ready, you'll start your infertility testing again.
Once again, I'm so happy that you're making some headway in your life and your grieving, and our continued prayers go out to you! May Our Lord continue to bless you and hold you up as you travel along your own Journey.
And our sincerest condolences over your kitty.
Luv Sandy

2/19/2002 10:24

I have been reading all the more recent posts since I haven't done so for awhile. My heart goes out to everyone on this site. I know how special all of you are. I feel so lucky to have found this site after such a terrible loss. We have a memorial for Jason Ward, our son, on this website also. Please feel free to go to it and see his pictures, as well as enter any feelings you may wish to express. We are facing a difficult time next week; the trial for my son's murder begins next week and is expected to last up to 2 weeks. Please pray for our family. I know that you all will! It really helps to know people care about your child and that he is not ever forgotten. I know that friends and family sometimes can seem uncaring, but I think it's just too painful for them as well. They are in pain over the loss and in pain for you and it's too overwhelming to them. Let them know that you want to talk about it sometimes; that it helps you to remember and that you'd like to share this with them as well. I know we can't wear people out with it because they would be too overwhelmed if we did, but sometimes I think they need to hear it so they too can express their feelings. I think of all of you and pray that we can continue to help others that unfortunatly share our grief.God Bless All Of You! Love, Barbara

2/19/2002 12:39

Hello Babbs, so nice to see you posting again too! You and your husband are in for a bumpy, painful period during the trial for your son's murder, and I hope our prayers here give you and your family the necessary physical and spiritual strength to handle a most difficult time. So when you walk into that Courtroom, know that many prayers are going in with you. May God bless you and your's and hold you all in His Hand.
Luv Sandy

2/19/2002 17:48

Hi Shaner,when i get home from work this is the first place i log on to when i get on the computer,because i do care so much about everyone here and i do feel we draw strength from each other.Its good to know we can be here for each other.I appreciate you always taking your time to post to each one of us.It makes my day so i know it has to the other ones.God is so good.He knows what he is doing.We may not at the time but if we pray and seek his face it will come to us,but in his time.I am just happy that i have him to lean on.And your right,it doesn't matter about what faith we are.As long as we serve God and follow his teachings we will be fine.I thank him for friends like you and the others here on this site.Love,Barb

2/19/2002 18:04

Dear Plapfm, When i read your posts i just want to put my arms around you and hold you like i would my daughter if she was still with me.You are going through such a rough time,but i believe you are a strong young woman.And God will see you through.I am so sorry about your pet.Pets are just like family.And i know it is a terrible loss.Its amazing how much love you can feel for your pet.My dog Cassidy is 13.He can hardly see or hear,but so far he is pretty healthy.I can not stand the thought of losing him.I have another dog,Sundance.They used to just love it when Carol came over because she would get in the floor with them and they would have a great time playing.I am so glad to hear you are feeling some peace in your life.I thank God for that.And i will always be praying for you,because i do believe it works.Prayer is a powerful thing.Love,Barb

2/19/2002 18:09

Dear Barbara,I just wanted to say i will be praying for you as you go through this trial.I know it is going to be hard on you and your family,but please know that your friends here care so very much about what you have to endure.I pray everything will come out the way you want.Please remember God will be there with you.He is always by our side.God bless you.Love,Barb

2/20/2002 13:18

Hello Barb (eudora), you're certainly a blessing to this Circle and to all moms on these pages! Your posts show your kind, compassionate heart as you reach out to others, while in your own pain yourself. I know I speak for all when we say 'thank you' for your posts and encouragement that you give to other moms. Thank YOU for being a part of this wonderful Circle, that I know Our Lord is blessing. May God bless you too, Barb, and give you some peace and blessings as you continue to reach out to others.
Luv Sandy

2/20/2002 18:31

I am so sorry to hear about your kitty. My dog is 12 years old and I know it is going to be so hard on our family when Lily goes. She is like my little sister because my parents got her while I was still living at home, and then I took her when I married my husband. Pets become so attached to our entire life, it is difficult to go about life without them. Please know that I agree with you when you say that your kiddo is up there with your family and that definately includes your kitty. What fun I am sure they are having.
I truly hope that you are successful in getting pregnant. I am praying so much for you! Your desire is so strong and you will offer this child so much. Hang in there because I believe in the power of prayer (it has worked in so many situations with myself and loved ones). I think and pray for you often.

Tammy Cooper

2/21/2002 06:42

Hello Everyone ~ I am asking that everyone who reads this will join me in praying for a dear friend who lost her child. She is at a very critical stage in her grieving process. She is a very
caring person who post here from time to time. She has prayed often for all who post here. Most of us know, all too well, how difficult it can be during the first, second, and also third year; especially when there is an anniversary coming up. So, please pray for (inneedofprayer); and I will let her know that the prayers you post are to encourage her during this very difficult stage of her grieving. I will email her so that she will know that the prayers for (inneedofprayer) are for her. It doesn’t have to be a
long prayer; just ask God to help her through this critical period, in your own way! Thank you one and all.

2/21/2002 07:18

Hi eudora, Thank you for your post and your encouraging comments. Lord knows, we all need them as we continue on our journey. I left a post for you there, and a special poem that I just know will bless you. I also did a post at your daughter's memorial site. You have such a loving and caring spirit, and I want you to know what a blessing you are to all the moms who post here. Please know that we need your prayers just as we need the prayers of all the other bereaved moms who post here. Whether it is a prayer or prayer request,it gives us and opportunity to do God's work. There is such power in prayer, and we know that it helps us get through the difficult "valley days" that we all have from time to time. So, I say to you and the other moms, just keep praying and trusting in God, and He will give you the strength to endure.

2/21/2002 08:16

Hello inneedofprayer, I'm so very sorry for your loss, there's not much anyone can say to you at this moment, but please know that we care, understand, and offer love through our prayers for you during this most painful of times. Please lean heavily on God, He knows how much you're hurting more than anyone, and He'll be by your side, never leaving you as you go through this. It won't take away your pain, but it will make it more manageable for you right now. I know you must be in a state of shock, disbelief right now, and that's ok, it's how we handle our losses at the beginning. During the first year of my Shane's passing, I wanted to die too, the pain was so great. I hope you have a good support system in place for you, family, friends, and now you have this Circle also. Above all, just let the grief come, only by experiencing it can we move through it, BUT it doesn't happen overnight. Give yourself plenty of room and time for grief, and grieving is exhausting, both physically and emotionally, so be kind to yourself right now. We moms here on these pages know somewhat of what you're feeling, each loss is unique, but most of us experience the same emotions. May Our Lord walk by your side and hold you in your tears and beyond, and our prayers go out to you as well as our sincerest condolences.
Luv Sandy

2/21/2002 08:34

Hello hothoosiers, Tammy, I just visited Shane's Memorial Site and I want to thank you so much for your wonderful, caring thoughts, I was very touched by your posting! I was especially touched that you and your family remember me in your dinner prayers, thanks alone is not enough, I am truly a blessed person! If this Circle has touched you in your own life, I'm so very grateful and thank God for His help in helping other's. Your post says a lot about your character also! May God bless you and your family abundantly,
Luv Sandy

2/21/2002 17:23

Dear Inneedofprayer,the loss of a child is so devastating.I am so sorry to hear that you have lost a precious one.I know words will not help much right now but please know that much love and many prayers will go out through this site.We have all been there and we hurt for you because we know the grief is so strong right now.Please try to hold on to God at this time.He loves you and will see you through this difficult time.Please let Verna let us know how you are doing.We truly care.Love,Barb

2/21/2002 17:40

Dear inneedofprayer:
I am so sorry to hear of the loss of your precious child. Please know that you and your family are being prayed for. I hope that by visiting this prayer circle and reading the posts by other parents who are also going through such a horrible tragedy, you are able to gain some comfort. These are wonderful people who will guide you along a journey of peaks and valleys just as they have travelled them and always will.
God bless you and your family.
Tammy Cooper

2/22/2002 09:59

Thankyou for all of your support and prayers for Jason and our family. This is an extremely difficult time for me, but I appreciate all of you so much! Love, Barbara

2/22/2002 11:10

Barbara, you're so very welcome, I know I speak for all when I say that, and remember, the prayers and good thoughts of this Circle go with you into that courtroom, and during your difficult times.
Luv Sandy

2/22/2002 16:27

My thoughts and prayers are with you. I know how you fee because I lost my beautiful 16 year old niece Oct.1/2000. Her boyfriend was drunk and drove through an uncontrolled intersection and the passenger side where Danae was sitting was hit and she was hit in the head.(they were in a Honda Civic and were hit by a big Dodge Ram truck)She was declared brain dead 2 days later. Our family has suffered so much pain.As I'm sure you have too!Danae was like my own Daughter.(She was my sister's child)My daughter started a web site for Danae and it's now maintained by Cheryl(Danae's mom)Please take a look I'll be praying for you.

2/22/2002 20:29

Dear shaner, eudora, and hothoosiers,
Thank you for your post to(inneedofprayer). I am about to email her to let her know that she is being prayed for here. Having been through so many valley days, I know it will
mean a lot to her just to know that others are praying for her. May our Lord and Savior richly bless each of you for reaching out to my friend in her time of need.

2/23/2002 08:57

Dear tearsflow, I'm so very sorry to read about your beloved niece. It must have been such a shock and a lot of pain to her family, the accident and then her passing. Yes, it's very painful isn't it, to lose a child that is young, vibrant and full of life. My prayers and thoughts go to you and her family, and I'll definitely take a look at her website, lovingly designed by her mom. May God bless you and Danae's family,
Luv Sandy

2/23/2002 09:08

Hello eudora, (Barb), thank you for your kind words and prayers at Shane's Memorial site, I am truly a blessed woman to have such kind thoughts from people like yourself and hothoosiers plus others posted there! Shane was a very funny, joy-filled young person, and I know that he's appreciative of your kind posts too. That laughter from him is now stilled, but we do remember it in our hearts, and recall the many times he brought so much joy into our lives. Yes, I will see him one day again, as will the rest of you, seeing your own children and loved ones.
May God bless you abundantly,
Luv Sandy

2/23/2002 15:08

Dear all, as I read about all the sadness on this page, I pray God will
grant you peace as he has to me and my
family, we lost our 19 year old son in
a car accident two years ago. I can only
tell you that the poem Footprints and by
the hand of God lifting us up and the prayers of family and friends did the healing take place. At my worst time,
I felt the holy spirit speaking to me
with the 23rd Psalm one morning on waking, and I knew that I could go on
for my other sons and 3 grandchildren.
God will help you with the pain and help
you see the joy of each day and see the
beauty of the earth and help you see the
wonderful memeories that our children
leave with us and no one can take from
you until we see our heavenly father and
our families in that wonderful city!
I hope this helps somehow and each day
help us to understand God's plan in our
lives. May God bless all of us that are
hurting. May we always praise his name
so that the joy will return!

2/23/2002 16:39

Thanks so much Sandy. May God bless you too and help ease your pain

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