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Any And All
Divorces after many years of marriage


Marriages often fall apart after the children are gone and mid-life crisis and empty nest or sickness/disaster strike. A mate chooses to go off on his/her own. Perhaps the grass looks greener, even though we know looks are deceiving. Join us in prayer.


SHATTERED!? Your mate, your best friend, your other half, your children's other parent, a big piece of your heart has been ripped out just when you thought we have been married for so very long, we will make it all the way. Perhaps your parents have just celebrated their 55th or so wedding anniversary when your spouse annouces he/she are leaving for (you fill in the blank.) Pain, grief, loss of a loved one. Would death have been better?
Share with us your pain. You are not alone. More and more of us, no matter what our faith, or the number of children, or economics, are being left behind, rejected, abandonned, separated, divorced.
Let us encourage one another and grow through prayer and care. God understands and will never reject us as a spouse has. He commands us to pray for one another. Open your aching heart, walk with a friend, survive!


 
judyringding -6/28/2002
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potatotech
8/4/2007 23:40

My wife has decided after 10 years to file for divorce. We have 5 children between us and this has been the most devistating, heart wrenching thing ever. Our divorce is to be finalized on August 24th. She refuses to go to counceling or even want to look at me. We have only been talking about finances and the kids via email. I have tried to tell her that I love her more then anything, but her responce has been hatefull and hurtful. I take responsibility for anything I have failed to do as a husband, but since she won't tell me what has driven her away I do not know...
I know how I feel and the tears that never seem to want to stop. The pain in my heart... So I pray for all of you who are going through this. I know how you feel - people keep telling me it will be alright and in time your heart will heal and you will find someone else... I do know that but it's the time and memories and the why that will continue to hurt until the "time" comes. Just know I have been praying and trusting in Gods plan. Please don't give up, and keep praying.


RJT
8/17/2007 13:13

I'm in the process of divorcing my husband after 8 years of marriage and 12 years together. This is honestly the hardest thing I have ever had to do. We have been having trouble for the last few years but I honestly never thaught divorce would be the outcome. He is truley the love of my life and a wonderful dad to our 7 year old daughter. He moved out about 5 months ago and has been living with a new girlfriend for about 2 months. I have tried everything to show him that I love him and only him, but because of the fact he is in a new relationship and not being honest to me about whats really going on I feel like I have no other choice. I have been there for him in all his times of need and cant understand why he has turned to someone else for love and happiness. I ask you all to pray for me as I pray for you all. I hope to someday stop dreaming of him everynight and to not think of him and her all day. I know I'm a good person and deserve more but loosing the love of my life has made me an angry and hurtful. I want to be a better person for my daugher and I ask god to please show me how to let go and move on. Its so helpful to read everyones story and to know I'm not the only person who feels this way. God bless us all !!!!


johnnytarr
9/8/2007 02:29

My pain is bad as well, but I am humbled by the prayers and petitions here. As much as is possible, each person here is in my hear as well as those who feel like lost sheep facing the darkness alone. I am sooooo sorry and i pray for the day that the world is put to rights for each and every one of us.

God,
Please take these prayers and these calls for your spirit and transform our mourning into joy. In the deepest, darkest hell sight is removed, we hear no sounds other than our tormentors, we feel the full effect of nothingness, we smell decay, and we taste death. In this dark valley we question your creation and sit in judgement over your wisdom. Our souls are rebellious to life and refuse to be comforted. Forgive us in your great mercy. Grant us the strength to sit still and to KNOW that you are God. And we thank you that we are not. We also thank you that when nothing is left, we are fortunate in that we have no choice but to rely on you. The tears of your saints are precious in your sight, and as deep speaks to deep, let your Spirit speak to your spirit in us. In your perfect time, deliver us from the refining fire of our suffering, and while we wait, grant us the mercy and strength to take each breath, utter each sound, think each thought, grapple with each demon, love each neighbor, and face each day with a confidence of your love. Let our lives and our hearts be as living sacrifices to you and to each other until THAT DAY, when the leaves of your tree will heal the nations and the fruit of life will sustain us and you will wipe every tear away. We have hearts that are ready to be mended and mouths waiting to be filled by you, and you alone. For some here, the pain is so deep, that only true healing can cure, nothing counterfit. We thank you that those on the bottom now will be on the top. We thank you that death has been defeated and that the darkness has been swallowed by the light. We thank you that this "No" that we seem to hear and feel at every turn is not the last word and that the eternal "YES" is our foundation. In other words...this hurts and this sucks for a time (seemingly forever), but we know better (even if we don't) and for that...thank you

May the words of this prayer and the meditation of all our hearts be pleasing in your sight, oh Lord our Rock and our Redeemer.

Amen


BioHazardBaby
9/9/2007 10:49

I can't begin to describe the torment I've gone through for 11 years. I'm finally moving on and saving money to file for a divorce. I moved out in June and have cut all ties to my soon to be ex. He is a bully to our grown children and me. He is a liar through and through. To the point were no one believes anything that comes out of his mouth. He has cheated online with other women and it's our (the children & my)feeling that he probably has cheated with women in our area. It's sad that my ex has treats the people who should mean the most in his life like crap! We've tried for years to get him to go to counseling or church, anything! I hate to "give up" but I'm stressed out and sick over the whole thing. It has to end. I pray for all of you going through this hard time in your lives. May we all find peace.


jules2576
9/9/2007 21:41

Dear Lord,

I thank You for providing me with the strength to go through this horrible ordeal. I know that You are always with me, and that during the times I do not have the strength to continue, You are carrying me. I am grateful for Your love and Your support.

Please, Lord, bless me with some semblance of hope. Though I know that I am going on with Your help, I have no hope for a better future. I cannot even imagine a future at this point. Please show me what I can hope for. Please open my eyes to the joys that are ahead of me. Because right now I can't imagine ever having hope or feeling joy again. Please show me how I may begin to heal and find hope and joy in this life with which You have blessed me. Amen.


gandolfthegray
11/6/2007 08:48

I feel the need to point out that unless children are taught what a healthy succesful marrige is, and that it is very capable of existing . I think that their sub-concious as well as concious minds need to understand that relationships CAN and DO work . And are not doomed

I believe this is necessary because my marriage failed apparently because it was too "perfect". We were SO in love and had a great family life --what is weird is that somehow that was the problem this ~to good to be true relationship~ her insecurities started to rule her world -it was a constant rollercoaster ride- But she said i was doing "it" It was either My fault or it ^wasnt supposedly wasnt going on! ? ? but it really was.
I thought eventually enough love and patience would help her, but it wasnt .how do u help someone that denies the existence of a life controlling problem? i could and would have stuck around forever, i loved her enough to . We were so in love that it was immposible to to even think about separating. i would have conquered the world to stay with her . but i felt like god was telling me i was not meant to live in this turmoil. and she slowly starting to experiment with pushing me away while at the same time asking me why i am doing it. And what she always accused me of was "not wanting to be with her" .that was brought on by me wanting or needing
to do things without her like visiting my parents ,wanting to watch a weekly show with my brother who still lived at home, needing to go to work at a time she wasnt working . (I delivered pizzas , she was an afternoon programs coordinator/teacher at the ymca . Anyways she started telling me i should just go to my parents house instead of coming home on nights that i worked - she would say IF U WANT TO LEAVE SO BAD DONT BOTHER COMING BACK till tomorrow , so things slowly got worse and the last time i saw her was NOV 2003 i havnt even started to get over it . i dont talk to women or go out of the house to social events on purpose - i feel like i am dead - i dont have a life, i just exist. And for the first couple of years i didnt even want anything but to wait to die.i said to myself i was done . I still feel like that a lot but i am beginning to want a life again even though from where i am standing i dont foreseen how i will ever be able to do what i so desapately want, so i will just have to decide to BELIEVE. Not as easy as it sounds. I feel that maybe change and healing is coming soon . but alot of it is not up to me, yet certain things are under my controll. So I need to understand what those variables to change that i controll are and begin to start acting on them, and understand what variables are out of my controll and therefore actually detrimental to my efforts by pure waste of energy and loss of self worth/esteem.

the reason i started writing this was to explain what i believe was the permanent sub-concious impact of her father stepping out on his marriage for another woman. she was only 5 or 6

a person's sub-concious mind thinks independently of their concious mind sometimes working against it. This can be negative or postive . once u understand that what you understand is not the same thing as what your subconcious mind understands enables u to find out how to reprogram your self concious to make positive changes in your like ------------and thats all i got to say about that!


gandolfthegray
11/6/2007 08:58

ps i was 23 when this happened , now i am 27 . i have done nothing at all for 4 years . i have to find my way out of this pain.

I need to know it gets better - not worse

i would really appriciate your opinions/ feedback , anything


Puttingmytrustinhim
11/19/2007 16:46

Maybe I don't belong up here because I was only 19 when I married. And now at the age off 22 my husband is filing for divorce papers. And my heart is breaking. We have 2 little ones (1 yr and 2 yr). I just keep praying and asking God for strength to get me through each day. My kids are the ones who keep me strong. I am so scared to sign those papers because it means that he will no longer be my husband. And I will now be a single mom, full time employee, and full time student. Please keep me in your prayers and I will do the same.


Special_Jay
1/4/2008 21:39

angels To God Be the glory first of all I send my prayers out to everyone may you'll be blessed in the Lord. After ready most of the stories it seems that my story is no different then anyone else's and the pain is very great. My marriage is fixing to come to an end after 22 years, I have been served with papers but he is still in the home with me. I have just been praying to the Lord for guidance through it all I know that the Lord is going to work it out for the best. I have taken care of my husband for 20 years of our marriage have basically been a prisoner in my own home cause of his illness panic attics and co-dependence, I had to live my life through family and friends cause I was not able to go to stores to make groceries, clothes or other things of important's, family functions was out unless it was at my home, I did not mine the sacrifices cause I loved my husband and I did say in sickness and in health. The first year he thought he was better he decided to go try to cheat to make a long story short after trying to work it out I guess it have not work. I was very bitter and very hurt up until DECEMBER 31, 2007 and one of our preachers preached a sermon NEW YEARS EVE (DON'T WORRY BE HAPPY) in all that we go through God has the final answer it is hard but I learned that we have to forgive them in order for us to heal. I know it is very hard but God will help you. I had stopped doing things for him, but I had to start back because I someone reminded me of that saying (What would Jesus Do!!) I have had to ask the Lord to forgive me cause I was trying to hurt him just as much as he has hurt me. But God said that vengeance is his so I had to remember that. God Bless Us All in all our trials and tribulations. AMEN!!!
Jessie H. P. S. We are God's Angels


nessieb42day
1/11/2008 23:54

I am just appalled at so many of us whose spouses have walked away to be with someone else, but DO rest assured that NO sin goes "unpunished" and they will regret every waking moment of destroying the marriage. The vows were made to Almighty GOD & HE will avenge this situation. satan has deceived them & life's revelation of this truth will come but perhaps too late for some. Do know that GOD loves each one of us very much and desires the best for us. do know the frogs are gone so the princes/princess can be brought forth, be patient & wait for GOD to deliver us. Stop bad-mouthing them & exposing their sins but instead channel that energy into praise & worship to our Amazing & Awesome Holy Creator Father. He is ALL we need! Stay focused on the prize of the mark for the high-calling of GOD in JESUS CHRIST not these fools who have lost the treasure that GOD gave to them. Love much in Christ Jesus, take care each of you..seek GOD & HIS righteousness & everything you need will be added unto you!! Yolanda


PrincessZafiro
1/22/2008 21:50

My husband was an incredibly good person. We had a beautiful family, two boys and a baby girl, a comfortable life, friends, a good life. Until a married woman who worked with him entered in our relationship. He is now a totally different person, he does not care of his children anymore, and it seems as he hates me, eventhough I know he knows how much damage he has done to me (emotionally and economically). They both robbed our life, we are now on our own, trying to put the pieces he left back together. I really need that you pray for my kids and for myself, and what I wish the most, is that God opens his heart and mind again. I want him back.


Kraeh
1/24/2008 20:59

My husband came home on 10/05/07 and stated he had been unahppy for about a year and wanted a divorce. I was blindsided. He on the road alot and I could tell this last assignment something was wrong but everytime I asked he said it was nothing and it wasn't me or us. I should have listened to me gut. After 14 1/2 years of marriage you know when something is wrong. He has moved in with is parents who live in the same town & no one in his family will speak with me. He will not communicate with me unless it is over email. I ask God every day for strength to get thru the day. I miss my best friend. I cry myself to sleep almost everynight still - I don't understand how someone can just walk away and not give a reason. He made a promise before God and his family and friends and what was it worth now - NOTHING....


asb27
2/5/2008 14:30

My husband recently told me over the phone the Sunday before New Years that he wanted a divorce. I was devastated. He still has not changed his mind, but has not mentioned the word in person, still over the phone. I am 33 and he is 36. We have been married for 4 years now. He states he needs peace of mind, he does not know how to be a good husband, and that he is selfish. We have attended 2 counseling sessions together and 1 each separately. I am still praying for a miracle. I pray constantly that he will change his mind. He has been living in the DC area since July of last year. It is truly hard and I cry at least once a week. Please continue to pray for us.


dotsie_d
2/6/2008 02:16

I have been divorced since December of 1999. I was married to my husband for 12 years (the divorce was granted on our anniversary!). My problem has a solution, but it will come from prayer from many more than just me. I would love to have just ONE DAY when I don't think about him? Will you help me with this? I would be most grateful for your prayers. I am now married to a wonderful man who derserves my complete love and attention and I am unable to give it to him as long as my ex-husband is still so close. I thank you so much for your help.


christian lady
2/8/2008 15:31

My husband left our family on 11/28/07. My children and I are still devastated. I never asked God to bring him back. Why? Because I could no longer stand the abuse. What I am asking God for is to heal my children and bring them back to him. They can't seem to turn this over. Now that my husband took all our income up to Colorado to be with his unclean woman, I am praying that he continues to help his family financially so that we do not become homeless. He left us with all the bills, no money, and we have to communicate with him through the unclean womans e-mail.Sometimes she will not give my husband his messages.Our children won't have anything to do with him as long as he is with her.I am unable to work at this time because of a disability. He ruined my credit as well as our childrens so a refinance without a job is impossible. Besides that the IRS wants to put a lein on my assests because of money he put in our childrens names illegally. Well the lists go on. Help me pray for my children and pray for all of us to forgive him...amen


LCLMinSC
2/20/2008 23:57

Please pray that our divorce, based on domestic violence, would go more smoothly and that I will be able to stay as calm and worry-free as possible. We just seem to keep hitting roadblocks that are slowing it all down, and I want to get on with my life. Ask God to help me turn it all over to him once and for all.


MzMays
3/11/2008 17:14

First I would like to say that seperation/divorce can be a very trying time and my prayers go for you all to have the strength to see yourselves through.
I have been seperated from my husband of 5 years for 10 months now. I have plans to file for divorce this friday. My husband and I were married young and after his father passed we did not have very much support for our marriage.I love soon to be X-husband dearly and at times it pains me that we could not make things work. Not to assign blame, but sometimes the personal issues of one person can make it impossible for them be in a healthy relationship. After my father- in -law's death- my husband took a turn for the worst- with his job, our relationship, other family relationships and became physically abusive.I tried by best to be there for him and to be understanding to his situation, but to no avail. He was hurting and it seemed that he wanted everyone around him to be burting as well.He starting acting out persuing outside outside relationships, not paying his bills and became obssesed with drugs, money and women. he forgot about all his responsibilty to our family. No longer paying our daughters tuition or offering any other type of financial support for her.
Im so torn because i know that he is going through emotional problems and i really want to be there for him- (I have suggested counseling and he has refused several occasions) but i know that I must ensure that my daughter will be taken care of and i must consider my own well- being.Hearing of his affairs made me an emotional wreck.
I decided that i had endured this unnessecary pain long enough. Maybe oneday when he can work through his issues he will see what he lost and come back to me. Maybe not. Either way i cannot allow this hurt to go on any longer. I still ove my husband, but i love myself more. Pls ladies and gentlemen be strong and have faith that you can make it without your spouses. What doesnt kill you - makes you stronger- You cant give all your energy loving someone who isnt loving you in return.


momvale
3/15/2008 16:19

After years of making my husband feel I didn't love him anymore he left me for another woman. We have been married for 21 years. I realize now more than ever that he is truly the love of my life and do not want this marriage to end. I believe in "for better for worse" and just want him to come home again. He tells me he still loves me, but is in love with her. He doesn't want to file for divorce yet and said he needs time to sort out his feelings. The problem is he stays with her. Please pray for God to restore my marriage and give me a chance to be the wife I should have been.


abenat4
4/28/2008 06:31

Just before our 7th year Anniversary my husband sat me down to share with me that he had an affair with my best friend. We have three beautiful children and our youngest had just been out of not even two months from a near death experience. He tells me he hasn't loved me for 5 years which was right around the time I was pregnant with our first. I was willing to forgive the affair and I thought he was going to work on it but because of interference from his family members he decided to get a divorce. He tells me I was lazy, unsupporting and overindulgent. His father tells me I was an unfaithful companion. His family has embraced the other woman and denounced me. I do not believe in this divorce because we did not have problems until she came along. Things got really ugly between us and still are no were near the civil communication that we should have for the children. We were ordered to go to Mediation and came to an agreement. Now all that needs to happen is him to go to court to make it final. I have had so many answers from God that this is not what he would have us do. Our children and I were under the impression that we were doing so well and they are just as devastated as I am. I pray for his heart to be softened and that he will come to his senses that our children deserve to have a father that is willing to do anything to keep his family together. I do pray for all of you and I will keep you all in my prayers because this is not the will of God for people to suffer this dreaded thing called divorce. It is the hardness of hearts that causes this. So, I pray for hearts to be soften and ask that you all keep my husband, my children and myself in your prayers as well. May we all pray for a miracle of forgiveness on our parts as well as those who have offended us in such a terrible way. May we pray for them to find the truth and return to us if we so desire. God bless you all.


mspeakhole
4/28/2008 15:23

i pray for us all, my husband recently left me with a house in need of great repairs and bills i dont have money to pay but i am believing god. divorce is not the will of god. marriage is honorable. and i believe god. amen


daisey09
6/9/2008 04:40

I had been marred 27 years when my husband started abusing me. Does not give me money, shows no affection. Left a few times and came back because he said things would change. Now it is 8 years and things are worse. He never , ever talks to me.. He has my children believing I am mental and a drug addict and they tooks sides, his. I miss my grandchilden. Please pray for a miracle and direction for me. I just do not know what to do anymore. Trust, I trust no one now.


mckinley74
6/17/2008 21:10

I have asked myself why people treat each other so horribly. I too am getting over a relationship that failed.

My girlfriend and I were together for a number of years (6+) when she became "involved" as she called it with a co-worker. I came home one day from work on my lunch hour only to face a chained door and once I got in to learn that someone was there. This coward hid of course and it was really a good thing because I now know why violence often happens in these cases; I would have done great harm to this person.

Long story short, she left and moved in with this man without a word or a good-bye, nothing! I have to admit that I have never been treated to unfairly in my life. All of this happened around Thanksgiving and into the Christmas season. It was horrible!

The only thing that got me through this unfortunate season in my life is the power of my God and fervent prayer. This is not to say that I no longer think about her because I do; you see as incredible as it sounds I still love this woman deeply. I have learned to forgive because if I had not my forgiveness would have been in jeopardy. We are all only human and make mistakes.

To all who are in pain, rest in the Lord and be assured that HE will restore everything that the Enemy has taken from you.

I pray for us all. God bless everyone of you.


StephanieLost
7/4/2008 03:24

My name is Stephanie. After 13 years my husband has become a totally different person towards me. He treats me with utter distain, anger and resentment. I have never been unfaithful nor have I been unloving towards him. He wants a divorce because he just wants to be single. Even before I had moved out of our home with our two children he had started dating. I am still so in love with him and I am hurting soooooo much. Why would he do this to me? He says he is going to make me hurt because he can, he says he wants me to hate him and he will do anything to make me hate him quickly. I am devastated. I feel lost and confused. I can't sleep or eat. I feel sick all the time. He has threatened to take the children from me and never tell me where they are. I don't know what to do anymore. I don't want to hurt over him but I can't help it. I try to be strong in front of my children but at night when everyone is asleep but me I just feel like I'm dieing inside. What do I do? Please help me soon before I shrivel up and die. I am so alone and terrified. I feel stupid for loving him through all of this - I will not take him back but I would like to have my best friend back like he used to be. I was so happy with him as my husband just a few months ago. I thought we had a wonderful marriage and family life and he dropped a ton of bricks on my head and my heart when he said he needed to be single. What more could I have been for him, done for him, how much more could I possibly have loved him? What did I do wrong? Why doesn't he love me as much as I love him? Why is this so easy for him? Why is he soooooo incredibly mean to me? I am truly a good and kind-hearted person, why do I deserve this punishment? I feel so betrayed, used, alone and abandoned. I don't think I can keep it together much longer. Please someone please please help me!!!!!


jaqkmq
9/12/2008 10:52

My first husband left me for another woman 22 years ago, but now looking back, it was the best thing that ever happened to me, 19 years ago I met a great man that loves me, took care of me during a battle with cancer, there is a better life awaiting just around the corner. I am praying for all of you.

 
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