Prayer Circles

Dear all,
I'm just now getting my computer turned on for the day; we've had really bad continual lightning all afternoon. Fortunately it just rained this morning during the funeral and the graveside services. That was bad enough, but at least it wasn't lightning like it has been this afternoon. I've taken a nap this afternoon but I still feel drained emotionally and physically; and I've had a bad sinus headache for a couple of days too. I had a good visit with several relatives of my husband and it's like the past 5-plus years have been wiped away. The only couple who wouldn't look or speak were one aunt and uncle of my husband's; but that didn't discourage me! Just the fact that everyone else was friendly was almost overwhelming to me. Some of them kind of held back until we talked for a while, then I could tell that they were probably watching me to see if I had really changed. Now the dilemma is trying to help with my father-in-law's care. I left my cellphone # with my sister-in-law so she could call me if she wanted help. If my husband was agreeable, I'd be willing to have him here; but I wouldn't and couldn't begin to take care of him by myself. He either has the beginnings of dementia, or else he is just exhausted from the constant care of his wife for the past 2 weeks--not leaving her side to eat or sleep, just a few minutes here and there for himself when she would fade in and out of consciousness. My husband was distant to everyone today as well as last night; that's his loss, but I can't help but feel sorry for what he is missing out on.
Thank you all for your prayers!! This is a good beginning of what I hope are many more great beginnings.

SELVA, I've been thinking about you and praying for you--that you would get adequate rest; I knew you were busy and not 'neglecting' us. Thank you for having Sandy post for you anyway.

CHRIS, I'm so glad that you went to church last night and got the encouragement that you asked for. Yes, God is good--even when we don't get what we ask for, He's still faithful to stand by us and help us through the rough places. We all know what that's like when we lost our child/grandchild. It may not feel like He's near us, but that's where faith comes in.

My sister-in-law just called me to come up to the cemetery to get some of the cut flowers (roses) instead of leaving them there. I'm gone. :o)

Love and (((HUGS))),
Charlene

Charlene: See you didn't have to be the "bad guy" after all. I was so glad to hear all the good things.May the meeting with the daughters be 100 times better.
Chris:Do as you feel is the best for you to help your son. I have been through these things with my daughter, that is why I have custody of her 2 boys. I would never give up on her even though she will probably never have her boys but she knows they are in the safest place. She has been to rehabs, in jail in another state and in New Jersey and in trouble with alot of things but she is still my daughter and I will be there for her even at the times she thinks I am not. she is the only child I have left since losing my son. I do feel like I am her boys mother but I didn't give birth to them. Hang in there and we all will pray for you.

Lee Ann

KATHY,
I've had you in my thoughts and prayers lately. May God give you a good day tomorrow; a day filled with happy and funny memories about your Wes. May He give you peace in your heart and mind when you think of Wes. May He give you release for your emotions as you remember all the years that you had with your Wes. May He grant your desire to 'indulge' yourself tomorrow (and any day) that you want to just sit and let the memories overwhelm you. And may He give you rest at the end of the days so you can regain your strength to face another day. May He wrap His arms around you with His love; and comfort you as only He can. May He bless you with hugs from your friends and family on this special day. May you KNOW that we, your special sisters here on this prayer circle, are surrounding you with our love and prayers and hugs. :o)
Much love and (((HUGS))),
Charlene

Father God, I come to You on behalf of myself and all my sisters here on this prayer circle today. Father, I ask You to surround all of us with Your presence today and give us peace. Father God, grant us courage to speak out for You. Each one of us is unique, but we all have something in common--the death of a child. Father, I thank You that You know every hair on our heads, You care about everything that happens to us. Help us, Father, to be thankful to You for each one of our blessings today. Draw us to You today, Father. Hear us when we cry out to You and grant us what we ask for according to Your will. Father, You know more than we do so we trust You to work everything that happens to us for our good. I ask You, Father, to surround each one in each family with Your presence and protection today too. In Jesus' name and for His sake I ask You and thank You. Amen.

Love and (((HUGS))) to you all!
Charlene

That's beautiful, our dear Charlene, you always compose such heartfelt prayers, thank you! Ditto back to you and your's,
Much love & Hugs,
Sandy

Our dear Kathy, I wasn't online much yesterday, but my thoughts and love were with you on your precious Wes's Birthday. You've been having such a hard time lately in your greving, God love you, so if yesterday was a painful one, I pray you were able to cry and let it out. Whatever way you spent yesterday, I hope it was the best for you. Never forget that you always have all of us, and that the "Help" post is there for you to use.
Much love & Tender Hugs,
Sandy

Dear Kathy,
I also apologize for not posting yesterday. I know that special days can be so painful and you needed our written support. So I'm sorry I let my own issues keep me from posting. I know this may sound empty but you were in my prayers. I also pray for you today that the emptiness that comes after the anticipated anxiety of a special day is lessened. I pray you my feel the Presence of God's Love surround you. Love, Jane

Dear Charlene,
Just a quickly to say you're in my prayers for your special day tomorrow. Have an appointment now but will connect with everyone later. Love, Jane

To All,
Has anyone heard from Connie? She's really been on my heart lately. I know that she had a computer problem awhile back and could only go online at a relative's house. So Connie, if you are reading this please know that you are missed and not forgotten. The last few days you have really been on my heart. Don't know if you need the extra prayers, but I am praying them for you. Love, Jane

Dear Charlene,
I realized I never responded to your experience at the funeral. All I can say is "WHAT AN AWESOME GOD WE SERVE! The month of March has been a difficult one for you with so many special days in it. What a blessing to have while in the midst of it. I know you don't have memories of Michael except the physical details. However, I'm sure you have the "wondering" syndrone. That's what I call it in my life. Wondering what he would look like, his disposition, well you get the picture. So I pray the God would allow you to see a glimpse of Michael in Heaven. Totally free and happy! Love, Jane

To All,
Right now I'm not posting much because I'm dealing with some of my own issues and struggles. They are Spiritual in nature. Right now I don't feel free to share any more than that, but I would appreciate your prayers. Thank you all for being there, even when you don't post. Love, Jane

Dear sisters,
I am so sorry that I have not been here. I am not doing very well. I don't mean to be selfish, I do pray for all of you every single day. It just seems that I am treading water and try as I might, I just can't seem to make it to shore. I am going to try and read all of your posts and catch up a little. Please know that you are all in my prayers and I am sad that I can't be here right now. God bless,
Kathy

Also, thank you soooo much for your prayers. I need them all.

KATHY,
You just keep praying and putting one foot in front of the other every day; it WILL get better! I don't know if you're an optimistic or pessimistic person, but if you can find a small ray of sunshine in your day, HANG ONTO IT! I'm praying for you to be an overcomer. Reach out to Jesus, He's reaching out to you. He says, 'Come to me, all you who are weary and heavy-laden and I will give you rest'; and He is faithful to do what He has promised. Don't let go of Him. :o)
Love and (((HUGS))),
Charlene

Here's my call for help! I've been corresponding by phone regularly with my sister-in-law (Praise God!!!!) and my husband has just realized that. He is livid. Pray for protection for me and that I will remain strong in the Lord.
Thank you.
Charlene

Our dear Jane,
I'm sorry to read that, but I know with God's help and our prayers you'll get through your struggles. No pressure to share, only if you want to,
Much love & Angel Hugs,
Sandy
OH....Connie...no, she doesn't have a Computer but when she visit's with her Grandson, she can use his Cell Phone for e-mail.

Oh, our dear Kathy, you never have to apologize for that, you're having a very rough time right now and as Charlene said, hold on tight to God! This is a 'Help' post from you and you know you'll be in our prayers,
Much love & Tender Hugs,
Sandy

Our dear Charlene, that's too bad your husband is so angry over it, yes, I pray that God put's His Angels around you for protection and that God will touch your husband's heart, to bring him out of his anger,
Much love & {{Hugs}}
Sandy

Hi all,
I spent about 3 hours at my sister-in-law's house this afternoon where we had a very productive visit. She hugged me again and thanked me for the bush and card that I'd given her; she felt the same way I did after Thursday night at visitation when we hugged--like the weight of the world was taken off of her shoulders. Praise God for the miracle that He performed!
And I feel like Daniel in the lion's den here at home. (You know when God shut the lions' mouths?) At least I'm not being yelled at any more. :o)
Thank you for your prayers!
Love and (((HUGS))),
Charlene

That's so nice, dear Charlene, socializing with your sister-in-law after all these years, it sounds as though you're both enjoying it very much and yes! a burden lifted, thanks be to God! God's working on your hubby as well, it's a step up from being yelled at, :). Thinking and praying for you and your daughter today over baby Michael's passing,
Much love & Angel Hugs,
Sandy

God please protect the people of this site. Each of us I believe is going through a tough time. Must be the weather and the time change or something.
Be strong and stick with god, that's the only way to get through the hard times.
I pray that things will get better for all of us.
Update on Jimmy, we had court this morning and as long as he stays clean of drugs he will be ok. Only 3 years probation. If he fails he could get up to 9 years in state prison. I pray this is enough motivation to keep him clean. God give Jimmy the strength he needs!. He also has another court mon morning and he could get one year from that one, so we are not totally out of the woods yet. I pray that the judge has faith in his sobriety and lets him stay out to continue his treatments and meetings and be able to continue to work. I could not take a failure at this point. I am staying strong right now but I feel that severe pressure setting in and I keep fighting it off. I try to talk about it as much as I can so it doesn't build up on me. If I get one more call in the middle of the night from him crying I will explode. I do have faith in him BUT it's hard, I know. I also try to stay focused on his rehabilitation so he has full support. He's not driving so I have to get him to all his appointments. I don't mind that but it is stressfull.

Happy 400 pages!!!!!

I'm hoping this makes the 400th page, I won't know untill I post it.

CHRIS,
I'm glad you updated us; also glad that the courts today decided to give him probation. I hope too that this will be enough for him to turn his life around. Does he have an adult male that he can go to for advice, just to talk, etc.? It would be a reprieve for you if he had someone else to confide in too. I'm praying for you that you will remain strong and not get overburdened with his problems. :o)
Love and (((HUGS))),
Charlene

JANE,
Just wanted you to know that you came to mind several times yesterday and I prayed for you. I don't remember exactly what I prayed at the time, but it was a strong impression for me to pray. I hope you are doing better, or at least have some of your issues and struggles resolved.
Love and (((HUGS))),
Charlene

Dear Charlene,
Thank you so much for your prayers yesterday. It was near 80 here and the store didn't have air yet. All day I felt as though I would faint. Going home wasn't an option. I guess if I had fainted they would have no choice. My issues or struggles aren't close to over. However, that's the norm for me. I try to set aside some time every day to try to discern what God is saying. Which is part of the problem, I'm not hearing anything I can accept. Also, Bob I believe is nearing the end. Yesterday while in the hospital, his leg broke. It's the one with all the cancer. My friend is a PT and she thinks it just broke while he was walking then he fell. He thinks he fell and broke it. Either way it's very bad news for him. If he makes it out of the hospital it will mean a nursing home. I'm really praying that God takes him before that. Sometime in the near future I will have to empty his apartment. Also my friend (neighbor) Betty is suppose to move April 1. She is driving me nuts with all her secrecy. She doesn't have a place yet, but I do believe she has a plan. No matter what time I get home, within 5 min she's at my door always asking for something. As a result it's the end of the month and neither of us have much in terms of food or money. Even when I tell her I can't do something for her, she goes home then comes back to negotiate. I'm pretty sure that once she leaves I won't hear from her again. I feel like a failure with her. For eight months I tried showing her how to budget her resources. How to make sure she had money for her meds. She's no better today than when I first met her. It's sad but I know I did what I was suppose to do. It's what I wasn't suppose to do that has me in financial trouble. I'll be ok in a couple of weeks. Right now I want my world to stop a little so I can have time for me to really process everything going on inside me.

You and your family have been in my thoughts and prayers this week as you remember Michael. Love, Jane