Prayer Circles

P.S. Neither of my husband's parents attended the girls' funeral or visitation. That's definitely influencing my feelings on whether or not I should attend this funeral. Thanks.
Love and (((HUGS))),
Charlene

JANE and SANDY,
I 'heard' that. :o)
Can't get away with saying anything about anyone else here can we? HaHaHaHa. :o)
Love to you both!
Love and (((HUGS))),
Charlene
p.s. I like to put a nose in my smiley face; maybe that means I'm preoccupied with my nose?? HaHa. Whatever, that's just the way I like to do it (me being a non-conformist, you know). :o)

Geee, the funeral? My opinion is you do what your gut tells you, you should do. You are the one that has to live with yourself, the only one. But that is a hard one i agree!
I've often thought about it (my ex-mother in-law's) funeral when she dies will I go? I do not know. I think I've come to a tenative decision that if "dad" goes 2nd I would go for him but if he goes first I would let her go by herself. She has alot of hate for me! I try not to be like that though, It's not what god wants from us. I also think that the "funeral" and "family functions" are different. Sorry for rambling but again just my opinion. Chris

Chris,
Thanks! I welcome any and all opinions. My mother-in-law was a very controlling person and could make life very hard if/when I disagreed with her (which I actually did a few times). My husband got the brunt of the criticism when I refused to attend family holidays ( I only did that twice in 30 years of marriage); and he just blew it off as 'that's just the way she is'. Have any of you ever seen 'Everybody Loves Raymond', the tv show? Sometimes I couldn't even watch that show because that's the way my mother-in-law was. VERY controlling and trying to pass blame on others when things didn't go her way. That's very negative talking and I don't want to be mean about her; she's in God's hands now and will never control me again. But I'm concerned about my children (grown and married) because they were all, at one time, very close to their grandma. She bought them a lot of things when they were growing up, and when they stopped going to her house (after her falling out with us) she stopped all contact with them (didn't send birthday money, etc. any more). I don't know how this will affect them, but I don't want them to feel guilty for not seeing her in the past few years. Now look who's rambling! :o)
There's also an extrangement with my husband's sister because of 'how (we) treated her mother in the past'. I really don't want to come face to face with her either because of some nasty things she said to me around the same time her mother did. What a mess! Families should stick together, but with all the differences of opinion and backgrounds, that seems to be so hard. Especially when one person insists on getting their way. Enough! I guess I need to pray some more about my attitude; I don't really think I am bitter toward either one of them, but this is one of the hardest things I've had to decide on in quite a while. I feel at peace about going on with my life as usual; but is that what I 'should' do. (???)
Maybe I'll get a definite answer soon. :o)
Love and (((HUGS))),
Charlene

Charlene I know how you feel. I really don't get along with the boys other grandparents but I went to the boys Dad"s funeral for them and I stayed as long as the boys needed me other wise I would have just went in saw their father and left and I would not have said anything to anyone not unless they Talked first. I was going to give the soc. sercurity death benefit to them towards the funeral but the grandmother told everyone that I owed her 2000. dollars to pay off the funeral because I had the boys which did not make any sense but she never got a penny from me. I am the one that does all the wrong things in their eyes because their son and my daughter gave up their children to me. I have learned to go with the flow and not argue with these people but I pray alot when they start with me. You should do what you feel like. I will say a prayer for you.
Lee Ann

Thank you so much Lee Ann! I appreciate your prayers. Now my husband and I are arguing because he wants to go and says he's always wanted to go; he's telling our daughters that I'm the one who has the problem with his parents and I'm the one who won't go. He's acting like he's been 'buddies' with his parents all the time and that's absolutely not true! I think he's wanting to go just for the attention he'll get; that's a problem he has but I won't go into that right now. I'm sorry; I'm angry right now and I shouldn't be saying all this. THANK YOU FOR YOUR PRAYERS!!
Love and (((HUGS))),
Charlene

If you don't want to go don't. Let him go by himself but then you will be the bad guy of course!But you could be the bad guy no matter what you decide. I know you will make the right decission and the Lord is there for you.
Lee Ann

Lee Ann,
I just got home and I thank you for your reply again. You're right, I'll feel like the 'bad guy' no matter what I do. My mother just called me and said I could go with her (not sit with the family, etc.) if I wanted to. I might just do that IF I go. Thanks for the reminder that the Lord is here for me; that makes all the difference in the world! He is my Rock and my Fortress, my High Tower, my Refuge in time of trouble. He is Almighty God; all things are possible with Him. Thank you!!
Love and (((HUGS))),
Charlene

Dear Charlene,
What a hard dilemma you find yourself in. That's a decision that can't be made out of anger or revenge, because it will come back to haunt you. When faced with really hard decisions I find it helps to write down all the pros and cons. Somehow that gives me a clearer picture of what's really going on inside me. I can also tell which is Spirit led and which is flesh led. For me going with the gut reaction only is correct if I'm in tuned to the Holy Spirit. Heavenly Father, I pray for Charlene right now. I ask that your Spirit directs her and she surrenders her will to Yours. Please show her how to convey Your character through her actions. May Your name be glorified in all of Charlene's decisions concerning this whole situation. Please protect her heart and mind during this time when any decision she makes might incite anger from her family. Father I pray that through this death, You might bring restoration to that broken family. What seems impossible for us to imagine only You can make possible. Please speak Your Truth to Charlene, even as she sleeps. In Jesus Name, Amen. Charlene, please know that you are in my prayers. I am confident that any decision you make will be the right one. Love, Jane

Update on Jimmy. I will be picking him up at rehab on Mon the 26 He has court on wed the 28th. Pray the judge will let him stay out so he can get the help that he needs. Your prayers are helping and I thank you from deep within my heart for them. Love Chris.

Jane,
I posted earlier but the post got lost, then my internet connection disconnected, so I'm just now getting back online to reply to you.
Thank you for your prayer(s)! I woke up around 4 this morning and couldn't go back to sleep so I started praying. I knew quickly what I needed to do; it's going to be hard--VERY hard--but I KNOW that's what I'm supposed to do. I think that the person who will be angry will be my husband, so I'd appreciate continued prayers for the next few days. I'm taking a plant to my sister-in-law and am going to apologize to her for any hurts that I've caused her. I'm also going to say the same thing to my father-in-law. Whether they accept my apologies is up to them, but at least I know that I'll be doing what God wants me to do. Thank you for your continued prayers; may God bless you with a wonderful day today.
Love and many (((HUGS))) today,
Charlene

Well, you may not agree with my 2 cent deposit our dear Charlene, but here goes.......go to the Funeral only with your husband...as you said, you can always sit with your mother. What your husband may be doing is transfering his guilt onto you, even if he didn't get along with his mother, she's still his mother and naturally he's going to be upset to some degree.
So I would go to the Funeral only, that end's all argument's right now at home, with nothing down the road to 'throw up in your face' and there will be no regrets. It make's you the better person, rising above the fray.
OK, 2 cents over with,
Much love & Hugs,
Sandy

P.S. I forgot to add something to the above post that I put on the one that got lost. I had a long conversation with my oldest daughter last night and was able to clear up some anger and misunderstandings that she had had toward me for the past 5 years. I had no idea all 3 of my daughters were angry with me because of misunderstandings with us and their grandparents. We're all 4 going to meet some day next week to hopefully clear up some of this; and hopefully this will clear up some of the mess between myself and my daughter who lost the 2 girls. Thank you all for your prayers!
Love and (((HUGS))),
Charlene

CHRIS,
I'll be praying!

SANDY,
Thank you for your 2 cents worth! :o)
I hadn't decided what I was going to do yet about going with or without my husband, but I'll think on it and pray about it some more. You're definitely on the right track about the transfering of guilt, anger, whatever he is feeling at the time. I'm sensitive enough that I usually pick up on that, but I'm not always aware that it's coming from him instead of from myself. I'm trying to be more objective where his emotions are concerned and trying not to get 'caught up' in them, because it's so easy for me to fall into subjection to his demands/commands without even realizing it. The girls' deaths have taught me to be more assertive because life is short and I don't want to live the rest of my life regretting my decisions that I make today. I can't change the past, but I can change my attitude and start today as a new beginning. Thank God He allows us to do that.
Thank you Sandy!
Love and (((HUGS))),
Charlene

Well, you may not agree with my 2 cent deposit our dear Charlene, but here goes.......go to the Funeral only with your husband...as you said, you can always sit with your mother. What your husband may be doing is transfering his guilt onto you, even if he didn't get along with his mother, she's still his mother and naturally he's going to be upset to some degree.
So I would go to the Funeral only, that end's all argument's right now at home, with nothing down the road to 'throw up in your face' and there will be no regrets. It make's you the better person, rising above the fray.
OK, 2 cents over with,
Much love & Hugs,
Sandy

Whoops, a double post....but I believe you've made the right decision Charlene. And getting together with your girls!! That's fantastic and you know my prayers are with yo!!
Much love & Angel Hugs,
Sandy

Hi our dear Chris, yes, continued prayers for Jimmy, you and that the right decision is made,
Much love & Angel Hugs,
Sandy

To all,
We just got home from visitation and I HAD to tell you all what happened. I wasn't able to get a plant today; the small flower shop near us ordered a flowering bush for me to give to my sister-in-law and it will be in on Monday. So I didn't go see her today. Tonight when we got to the funeral home, there were just a few people there but I still had to wait in line to talk to my father-in-law. He recognized me even though he is VERY feeble. I apologized for any hurt I had caused him and he acted like he didn't hear me; he had trouble hearing and he didn't speak very loud so I had trouble hearing him when he spoke. He did squeeze my hand though, and I'm going to definitely visit him in the nursing home frequently. When I was able to get to my sister-in-law, I wasn't even able to say anything before she grabbed me and hugged me really hard and sobbed and sobbed and sobbed. She said she was so sorry for everything and I told her I was sorry too. In my heart I was just praising God because this was way above and beyond any kind of reaction that I thought I'd get from her, if any. We hugged for what seemed like quite a while; there were people lined up behind me waiting to talk to her. Her cousin came up and got in on the group hug; she's been praying for reconciliation for us for a long time; I told her we were building bridges, did she want to jump on. She just kept saying praise God over and over. The three of us hugged for a while; I tell you it was wonderful. I had NO doubt that that was what I was supposed to do and I kept praying on the way to the funeral home for God to give me courage. I didn't waver and He answered in a mighty way. I didn't tell my husband what I had planned to do; in fact, when he got home and I was ready to go he said he was planning on staying home but I said I wanted to go so we went. I'm looking forward to tomorrow and hopefully more visiting. All 3 of our daughters and their families were there tonight; my sister and her husband were there so I'm very glad I went.
Thank you all for your prayers; we serve a mighty God! I feel like the weight of many, many pounds has been lifted off of me.
Love and (((HUGS))),
Charlene

Jane, I'm praying that you will stay healthy and have the strength that you need at work.
Love and (((HUGS))),
Charlene

Dear Charlene,
WOW! How totally awesome! I was really praying a lot last night and this morning about reconciliation between your family and your husband's family. God worked forgiveness in your heart first, then you saw it extended to your sister in law. I knew you would make the right decision. I'm so happy the way it turned out today. Isn't it strange how new beginnings can come from a death? New life is blossoming in so many of your relationships. It will be exciting of what will come out of the meeting with your daughters next week. So, Heavenly Father I just bless what You are doing in Charlene's family right now. I ask for You to continue to guide Charlene each day as bridges are being made. All this for Your Glory and Honor. In Jesus Name, Amen Love ya, Jane

PS Charlene,
I just reread what I prayed for you in my post from yesterday. That was an impossible scenerio that no one could have imagined at the visitation, however God knew and made it possible. Love, Jane

That's a double Wow! That's not the scenario that you imagined would happen, but look at all the good and love that came from it all!! Praise God and His Holy Name!! Thank you Father for answering all prayers said for Charlene over this situation, including her own, through Yor Son, Jesus Christ, Our Lord & Saviour!
Not only is it Spring out, but it also seem's to be a Springtime of your own, with all these new beginings.....including the meeting with your daughters, coming up. I'm really happy for you and of course, continued prayers,
Much love & {{Hugs}}
Sandy

A note to all:
Selva asked me if I would post for her, she doesn't want any of you thinking she's forgotten you, she send's her love & prayers. Still swamped at work and home with taxes!
We know, our dear sister, that you haven't forgotten us,
Love to all,
Sandy

AMEN! God is great God is good, huh? Wow I pray that there will be continued support as your fammily rebuilds. A tear ran down my cheek as I read about your reunions. I'm so happy for you.

Another proof about gods presence: I went to a local church gathering last night. I put it off for 3 weeks now. I thought I would check it out before I invite jimmy to attend. It was mostly older teens and it was fun. Alot of music, singing and a short sermon. Just as the sermon started Jimmy called on my cel phone, I steped out and talked to him, I cried and he told me not to, that everything will be ok. I went back to the sermon that was about a mothers strong love that will go beyond anything that you might normally do. Like sitting in a waiting room in a prison waiting for visitation. Like sitting next to your son in court for support even though you don't have to be there. He was talking directly to me. I was the only older person there that could have a child old enough to be in jail. I knew then, thats why I was called to go last night. It gave me a little more strength and let me know that what I'm doing is right. I prayed for direction. You see I know two people who tell me he's just playing with my emotions, not to believe him. another is doing "tough love" with her son and breaking ties. I cried about this see I want to be there giving him all the strength he needs but don't want to make a mistake about what's right to help him. Now I know, that god wants me to be there for him totally. God is great and God is good, AMEN. Chris