Prayer Circles

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Shane Whalen
This Prayer Circle is Dedicated to my son Shane Whalen Who Passed Away On March 15, 1999 at the Age of 24, & All Other Children

Start a prayer circle for bereaved parents who have lost a child.

There are many of us out there who have lost a child, and it is devastating. It changes the outlook on life, plunges you into a depression, and you think that the feelings and thoughts you have nobody else could possibly relate to. I think a prayer circle for bereaved parents would only benefit us and help us on our journey of grief. This Circle is one of Love, where a Grieving Parent can safely come to for Prayers, and to talk about their feelings.

Shaner -10/14/2000
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1/23/2007 00:29

Hi All,
Just a quickie to tell you I am praying for all. Life is becoming a real challenge as I try to balance my life and Bob's. Help is coming in, so i can start delegating more. This morning he woke me up and said he had to get to ER. Usually, this wouldn't have been a problem, but at 4:00 AM I took a Xanax to help me sleep. I had to much caffine too late in the evening and at 4 was still awake. I don't take Xanax except for desparate situations and when I know I can sleep it off. It honestly felt like the middle of the night at 9:00AM. However, I did get Bob to the ER and he has been admitted. Nothing life threatening, just some unseen complications. Since he lives alone, the decision was made to keep him a couple of days for observation. My friend Betty is still over almost everyday and night so it gets pretty busy here. In between all this I manage to squeeze in work! Actually, my hours have been cut and this week I didn't even try to pick up any. I needed a few days off. OK it's 11:30 my time and my goal for this year is to have the computer and tv off by 11:30. Good night all, and thank you for your continued prayers. Love, Jane

1/23/2007 13:26

Hi all!!
I can't believe it's been so long since I've been here. (again!) My Mother went home Sunday; that was her birthday and all 4 of us (kids) and 2 spouses met together ar her favorite eating place for lunch. Thankfully the roads were clear and her city had lifted their boil-water warning. She emailed me yesterday and said she was glad to be home where things were familiar. I admit that I'm worn out and slept most of the day yesterday then got up this morning and cleaned house. Now I'm worn out again! :o)
I'm going to have to cut this short because I have an appt. with my counselor this afternoon; I haven't seen her for a while because of the weather so I feel like I'll probably talk non-stop for the whole hour. Things are well here other than the tired feeling I have.
Selva, I pray for you to get lots of rest and eat lots of nourishing food during this busy time.
Anita, I'm glad you have a better computer; hopefully it will work for you and not break down.
Sandy, thanks for 'holding down the fort', as the saying goes. God bless you.
Jane, I pray for wisdom for you as your life gets more complicated. And I also pray for GOOD rest when you have the time.
Love and (((HUGS))),

1/26/2007 11:58

Hi all!
Just wishing you all a good weekend. I am still battling this cold or flu or whatever it is. I get better for a few days and then I am knocked down again. I don't rest like I should so I am to blame. I promised my family I would rest this entire weekend! Hope you are all doing well. We must all be busy, it has been pretty quiet. I pray that is the case anyway. You are all in my prayers daily. Love to all,

1/26/2007 14:05

Yes, Kathy, get LOTS of rest. It took me about 5-6 weeks to start feeling like I was energetic enough to stay out of bed all day long and I still have to watch myself because I feel extra tired when I try to do too much in one day. I think grief plays a big role in us physically, making us tired easily and less able to fight off infections. That's why Jane's 5 points are so important to remember; I keep them in front of me on my desk so I can check them at least once a week to see if I'm doing all of them. I'll list them again:
1. Prayer/Communicate with God
2. Extra sleep
3. Plan ahead
4. Be good to yourself
5. Do not isolate

If I don't take care of myself, who will? In other words, who knows what I need better than myself (and God of course). So if I don't do it (take care of myself), it basically won't get done.
I love you all very dearly; I hope and pray that you are all resting or doing what you need to do to take care of yourselves. God bless you today and through this weekend!
Love and (((HUGS))),

p.s. Remember Barbara (babbs) on her Jason's HD on Sunday, Jan. 28th; it will be 6 years this year since he's been gone. My love and prayers to you babbs, that you will actually feel the strength that comes from God during these days ahead.

1/27/2007 19:33

Hi All: I know how everyone feels I had what ever is going around and then I finished my med and now it is back again. I have strep and ear infection and very tired after a few hours of doing what I can. I have been doing all I can with the sea salt thing and taking naps or rests when I feel like I should but it has been with me for over 3 weeks.Having a 12 year old and an 8 year old at my age to keep after is a little tougher that when mine were young.Hope everyone will feel better soon since this bitter cold has come in.Our temperture was 5 below yesterday with the wind chill. Some difference from a month ago with it being around 70. Take care everyone and i will be thinking and praying for you all.
Lee Ann

1/27/2007 19:34

Hi All: I know how everyone feels I had what ever is going around and then I finished my med and now it is back again. I have strep and ear infection and very tired after a few hours of doing what I can. I have been doing all I can with the sea salt thing and taking naps or rests when I feel like I should but it has been with me for over 3 weeks.Having a 12 year old and an 8 year old at my age to keep after is a little tougher that when mine were young.Hope everyone will feel better soon since this bitter cold has come in.Our temperture was 5 below yesterday with the wind chill. Some difference from a month ago with it being around 70. Take care everyone and i will be thinking and praying for you all.
Lee Ann

1/29/2007 10:05

Father God, I come to You right now on behalf of all my dear sisters here in this prayer circle. Father, You know what each one of us is going through right now and I ask You to touch each one of us with healing--physically and emotionally--today. Father God, I ask You to touch each one of us with Your presence and Your special care so that we will KNOW that You are God and that You are the source of all our health and peace. Father, I ask that You give each of us peace and comfort today as we face the every-day troubles and cares that are before us. Only You know what today brings for each of us and I'm asking You to protect each one of us and bring us safely through to a better day. Father I thank You that You are God and that You care about us more than anyone else does. I thank you for giving what we ask in Jesus' name. Amen!

Love you all, dear sisters!!!


Anita (astarte1225): Kimberly Feb. 9, 1980(BD)

Donna (arqt): Marcus Feb.20, 2002(HD)

Barbie (momcandoit): Garry Feb. 22, 2005(HD)

Anita (astarte1225): Joshua Feb. 24, 2006(HD)

Charlene (havelost4): (grandson) Baby boy Feb. 25, 1989(BD)

Love and (((HUGS))) to all,

1/29/2007 10:16

I also have a prayer request for my husband and myself--we had a major robbery take place a quarter mile from our house (where my husband keeps all his farm tools, equipment, etc.) sometime early Sunday morning. His pickup was found about 25 miles south of where we live, burnt up and a total loss; he also lost all his tools from 3 toolboxes, a welder, 2 air compressors, a grinder, and several miscellaneous things that were in the pickup and laying around in the shed where all these things were. It makes me so angry that someone would steal from another person anyway, and then to burn the pickup was just plain 'adding insult to injury'. Thankfully the lost pickup wasn't the one that he keeps all his guns in! Pray especially for peace for him and for him to have an alert and clear mind to be able to recall what all he had in the shed and to know if something else is missing. Thank you all dear sisters!!!
I'm going to my doctor again today for a follow-up visit; I'm feeling much better but yesterday's emotional 'ride' wore me out.
Love and (((HUGS))) to you all,

1/29/2007 17:00

Charlene:I HAVE SAID A PRAYER FOR YOU AND YOUR HUSBAND.So sorry to hear of such a thing. It has been almost 2 years since our fire and we are still finding out things that were in our garage that we never got to tell the insurance company. Take it easy and relax, we don't want you to get sick again.

1/29/2007 21:32

Thank you Lee Ann for your prayers! I actually had a good day but am exhausted from the almost 200 mile round trip that I took today to the doctor. He gave me a good report on my shoulder; it's improving and better than it was the last time I saw him. Yea! That's good news to my ears.
And my blood pressure was the lowest that it's been in about 6 or 7 months. That's very surprising, but that's probably as a result of prayers--my own and yours too. Thank you!!

I couldn't believe the trees that I saw today. The whole city (where my dr. appt. was) was affected by the ice storm that we had here in this part of the USA a little over 2 weeks ago. In the winter time when you look at the bare trees, you see lots of little branches and limbs. Not so with these trees. They were bare limbs sticking up out of the trunk, but no branches and nothing left on the trees that was less than 6 inches in diameter. It looked like a major tornado had taken all the tops plus all the twigs and branches out of the trees. It is amazing to me the magnitude of the damage that was done. Every yard had piles and piles of brush in them; some of them in neat piles (some as high as the houses) and others hadn't even begun to clean up and the limbs were still either caught in the lower limbs or laying on the ground in a jumble. I've never seen anything like it before in my life. Several blocks in one section of town had metal street light poles bent or broken from the limbs that fell onto the electric lines connecting them. And just outside of town there were at least half a mile of electric poles snapped off about 2 feet above the ground. I'm VERY glad that we didn't have that damage here at home! I hope all of you are thankful that you have a warm, dry home to live in tonight; I know I am. I wish I had taken my camera to get some pictures because it's still hard to believe what I saw.
I'm going to bed early; be back tomorrow.
Love and (((HUGS))),

1/30/2007 17:46

Oh Charlene, that is so terrible! I just don't understand the world. Why burn the truck too? Just terrible. The only thing good is that what comes around goes around, they will get pay back somehow and also you guys weren't there to be possibly hurt. I have seen some towns with those trees on the news. While the ice was dripping off of them it was kind of pretty, but now in the aftermath, tragic. I am thankful for a warm dry home! Thank you for your beautiful prayer and the Feb. date list too :)

1/30/2007 18:17

Hi to everyone,
Sorry I've been MIA for awhile. I was trying to defragment my computer and after 70 hr just shut it off. Can't be off my computer for more than 3 days!

Charlene, thank you again for posting the list. Also for remembering my words of advice. While I was reading your post I keep wondering what I had written, so thank you for reposting them. A good reminder for me also! I am so sorry for what happened to your husband's pickup. Wasn't it just a little while ago that he had an accident and had to replace his truck? You both are definitely in my prayers. Remember what the enemy means for evil, God will turn into good. I have seen some pictures of the ice storm, but I didn't know it was still so awful there. I am grateful to have a warm house to live in. I'm glad your doctor's appointment went well. You do travel far to get there!

To All,
I have just come back from two doctor's appointments. I need some real prayer support. I thought I was doing fine. However, my internist told me he hadn't heard my lungs this bad since I was in the hospital. I asked him if it was serious enough to be in the hospital and he said not right now since I'm not showing the usual symptoms. He did say I was probably getting sick so be prepared. One of my roomates is sick and today Betty showed up pretty sick. I can't afford to get sick because a common cold will put me in the hospital.

Thank you to everyone who has sent e-mails the last few days. I am still catching up on them all. What I have read are either really funny, inspiring or informative.

My life is still very full, but I am taking the time to be good to me. My prayers are still with everyone. Love, Jane

1/31/2007 12:10

Dear Jane,
I am praying that you don't catch cold. I used to have to be very careful around my Mom. A cold usually turned into pnemonia and she would go to the hospital every single time. She had COPD/chronic bronchitis and empysema. Anyway, may prayers are with you! I have had the same cold for 3 weeks now. It changes form but none-the-less is still here.

Sisters, I am also in need of prayer. Yesterday was a hard day missing my Wes. I managed through with lots of prayer. This morning on my way to work there was a guy walking along the road. He walked just like Wes, his manerisims, (don't know if I spelled that right) were just like Wes and as I passed him and looked in the rear view mirror, he even looked like Wes. Suddenly I felt choked with the feeling that I will never see my son again.....on earth anyway. HE IS GONE AND I WANT HIM BACK! As I type this I am screaming inside and tears are rolling down my face and I am at work. please say a prayer for me.
Love to you,

1/31/2007 21:54

KATHY: I know how you feel. I think my Ryan is coming in the door any time. I feel like he is just away for awhile until I go visit his grave and then it hits HE IS NOT COMING IN THE DOOR. I have so many feelings go through my head. From anger to sadness and everything in between. I just want him to come back so I can tell him I love him and help him with his problems and to tell him what stupid things that he done and laugh with him when he said something funny. Lord help us get through these hard times as we come to you for your help. In your name we pray. Amen

1/31/2007 23:38

Heavenly Father, I lift Kathy and Lee Ann up to you. Thank you that you are a God who cares deeply about us. I ask that you surround them with your peace and comfort. May they physically feel your presence at those times when they miss their children so much. I pray that for each of us. Help us to fix our eyes on Jesus and know that shortly we will be reunited with our loved ones. That you that we can trust you with our lives, including all our emotions. Thank you that Jesus truly understands because he has experienced all the emotions we have and is at this very moment making intercession for us before your throne. Thank you that you have not left us orphans, but sent your Spirit to be our Comforter. In Jesus' name, Amen

1/31/2007 23:51

Dear Kathy,
Thank you for your prayers. My doctor stated in the medical community in Illinois it is just called "the bug." There are so many people with it and just when they feel better, it hits again. I have COPD and it will put me in the hospital. I am just praying that all I have is the wheezing and nothing more will come. My one roomate has it badly and now Betty my neighbor (who is always over) has it. In fact, today she didn't come over and I didn't go there because I don't want to get sick.

I am also having trouble finding help for Bob, the man who I am the center of care for. His needs have increased and many people in my church are sick. Especially the men, and that's who I need the most right now. Bob needs someone to help him shower and dress. Even though I have been a CNA, I'm not comfortable doing that and I know only one woman (a CNA) who would be comfortable and she's in the hospital for surgery. Besides I know Bob would be more comfortable with a male. As much as possible I try to keep his dignity intact. I have a new motto for him: We are giving the most loving care we can without burning anyone out. That means we need a lot of people and right now many are either sick with the bug or have undergone recent surgery. Also. several people involved are going on a mission trip next week for two weeks. God knows I can't get sick and end in the hospital! Anyway thank you for your prayers, I really need them. Love, Jane

2/1/2007 12:07

Oh Lee Ann, the depth of my sadness is just endless right now. I feel the same as you, I want to tell Wes I love him and help him and just have him here to hug, to laugh with, to live with. I know that God, the greatest love of all is taking care of him right now, maybe I am being selfish but I'd rather have him here with me so I wouldn't hurt so much. I am so confused once again. Isn't it funny. Wes's girlfriend says it is like the flu, you feel ok for awhile and then you get hit hard with the fact that he isn't coming back. After awhile you are ok again. It is just a vicious cycle and I just want off. But for some reason I can't get off. God wants me here. What torture it is. I am convinced that I am in HELL. You are in my prayers sister and I love you, as well as every mom here.....That is the only thing that hold me together I think.
Sisters, I am truly sorry for being so negative right now, this too shall pass. I love you all.

Jane, thank you so much for your beautiful prayer. It made me cry. I do that alot lately. I am praying that your situation with Bob works out and that you don't end up cutting yourself short in terms of rest. If you get run down, illness has a better chance of setting in. Please take care and do whatever you can to stay well. Jane, I know that God is with me always and that he provides comfort and peace to us and even that we will be reunited with our loved ones but I am so upset right now that I (we) are left on this earth to suffer. I mean we have lost our children and must stay here and some punishment....I don't know, I am just not feeling good about anything today. I love you though and so love your prayers. Maybe tomorrow will be a brighter day. I will be praying for all.

2/1/2007 12:24

Thank you JANE and KATHY for your prayers! I have been busy helping my hubby buy tools to replace the ones he lost and also trying to rest up from my trip to the dr. Monday. We got another 3" of snow last night and it covered everything again. It looks so pretty! And I am very thankful that it is not ice again!
Kathy, I'm sorry for your aching loss. My husband and I have been going through that again; it seems like this robbery has triggered our emotions and several times a day, when we mention the girls it always brings the tears again. I've been reading a devotional book about the 'losses of life' and it mentions that we have secondary losses because of the major loss of the death of our child. The major loss of course is the death of our child; and the secondary losses would be every birthday or everytime we see someone who looks like them or reminds us of them, etc. He emphasized that we need to grieve for the secondary losses just as much as we do for the initial loss; it's all a part of the grieving process. That explains to me how the grief seems to be so ongoing and sometimes continual.
I've got to go; I'll try to write more later.
Love and (((HUGS))),

2/1/2007 12:25

Dear Kathy,
My heart really goes out to you. I do know that down deep you know that God will never leave you and he is the source of your comfort. However, right now you need "a God with skin on". Wes's girlfriend is right. Just when you think you have made it through the hardest part, it starts over. It will get better again I promise. I so admire you for posting in your valley days. That is a huge improvement, remember when you couldn't post anything? You are definitely in my prayers. I know how much you miss Wes, I still miss my Elizabeth and it's been 27 yrs. For the most part I have let the what ifs go. Doesn't help anyway. I believe you already do this, tell God all you are feeling. He knows it anyway and loves you deeply. I have learned He can take our raging and screaming at Him, then He lovingly holds us until the storm passes. Need to get to work. And yes, I am resting and taking time for myself. I know that I don't have a choice there. I am even eating better. But there are still times when I feel overwhelmed. However, since I'm not in this alone I have someone to call and release. Love, Jane

2/1/2007 12:30

To All,
Since my computer problems, I was not able to post of the tragedies in the Chicago area this past weekend. Six young people lost their lives in two separate accidents. Please pray for the families. Also for the driver of one of the cars. She survived and is in the hospital. She may be charged with reckless homicide. Plus she has to live the rest of her life with the knowledge two people died because she was speeding. She is so young. My prayer for her is that she allows God to heal her. Love to all, Jane

2/1/2007 12:31

Yes Charlene, When I saw that boy yesterday it was like my insides were screaming, turmoil and sadness engulfed me. I started grieving all over again. I feel as though I am going out of my mind at times these last few days and wonder what a very fine line it must be between where I am now and insanity!

2/1/2007 15:26

Hi my dear sisters. I am so sorry for not posting in a few days, I have been working very long hours because of tax season but always make time for prayers.
Charlene, I am so sorry about the robbery that is always so hard to deal with, the invasion of privacy by such mean people is just terrible and on top of it burning the pick up I just hope they get caught and punish, so sorry you have to deal with this on top of all the other problems my dear sister, my prayers are with you and the family. Selva

2/1/2007 15:34

Dear Jane. You are such an Angel here on Earth, God bless you for helping those in need, I am sure that God will help you find somebody to help with Bob and also to keep you healthy, I pray that you find the time to rest and take good care of yourself you don't need a nasty cold right now, my love and prayers dear sister. Selva

2/1/2007 15:46

Dear Kathy and Lee Ann, I understand so very well what yoy are going through right now, it is part of this awful pain that we are all experiencing, one of the reasons I hardly go out (which I don't recomend to anyone) is because everywhere I go I expect to see Solange, the places she used to go, her friends, even when I go to the supermarket I have to make such a big effort. I also see girls that look like Solange and my heart jumps and then I realize that Solange is no longer here on Earth. The only thing that we all can do, it is just to feel the pain no matter where you are, let the tears flow and deal with it. There is no other pain like ours, loosing a child is the worse that can happen to any human being. I know that Wes, Ryan, Solange and all the other Angel Kids are happy and at peace with our Lord, but it is only natural for us to want them back, we are the mothers, and after all we are only humans, just remember that God is with us, "If He puts you through it, He will pull you through it", He will give us the strenght to keep going until our time comes to be with our children again and this time forever. My love and prayers are with you my dear sisters, please post everytime you are feeling down in the Valley, that is why we are here for one another and what this Circle of Love is all about. Love Selva

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