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Shane Whalen
This Prayer Circle is Dedicated to my son Shane Whalen Who Passed Away On March 15, 1999 at the Age of 24, & All Other Children


Start a prayer circle for bereaved parents who have lost a child.


There are many of us out there who have lost a child, and it is devastating. It changes the outlook on life, plunges you into a depression, and you think that the feelings and thoughts you have nobody else could possibly relate to. I think a prayer circle for bereaved parents would only benefit us and help us on our journey of grief. This Circle is one of Love, where a Grieving Parent can safely come to for Prayers, and to talk about their feelings.

 
Shaner -10/14/2000
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LOVE2U
12/25/2006 01:07

Well it was later than I realized. I actually submitted this post on Christmas Day! :) Guess I'll just say ... MERRY CHRISTMAS to all ... And, to all a Good Night! :)


smile713
12/25/2006 08:49

All the children will be in my thoughts today as we celebrate Christmas.


havelost4
12/25/2006 11:24

Thank you CHRIS for your thoughts today for our kids. I hope you don't think about them ALL day, but have a good Christmas day too.
SANDY, thank you for your prayers. I made it through Sat. but I slept all day yesterday and got up today to clean the kitchen and wash a load of dishes. I just put a pot of vegetable soup on to cook and I'm going back to bed now. My body just feels tired and my voice has left me for parts unknown. Other than that, I'm having a very peaceful day listening to Christmas music and resting as much as I can. :o)
Wishing you ALL a very good, peaceful day! And a wonderful time with your families.
Love and (((HUGS))),
Charlene


jpot
12/25/2006 12:10

Well, we all made it to this day. May it be filled with peace and blessings for everyone. I had my celebration last night and things went well. It's funny how we spend so many hour preparing and then in a few hours everything is over. Today will probably be a quiet day for me. I invited Betty and her son over, but who knows with them. If they don't come I could use a mellow and reflective day.

Selva, a very Happy Birthday to you. I pray you aren't alone. I know that several people in this circle including me have been praying for you to find a true soulmate. Someone who will walk beside you in the hard times and rejoice with you during the good ones.

Charlene, I'm glad you're having a peaceful day. I don't remember where you live, but in the Chicago area there is a nasty virus going around. It seems to hang on for weeks. Last Friday I was in the ER with Betty and they separated those with the virus to another section of the ER. Unless the fever is too high the only thing the doctors are recommending is pain medication, fluids and plenty of rest. Sounds like your doing the right thing.

Sandy, I pray you're having a relaxing and fun time with your son.

Merry Christmas to all. Love, Jane


KPETERSEN
12/26/2006 12:38

The feelings come unexpectedly, triggered by Christmas carols, family
traditions, or holiday smells. It's an intense sadness and unbearable
loneliness for missing loved ones. Their place at the table is vacant,
their laughter is heard only in our memory, and we long for the touch of
a vanished hand. We can't ignore our feelings, and it's all right to shed tears. But the Lord still has work for us to do this Christmas. We must serve Him night and day, giving thanks to Him. We have finally mastered the meaning of Christmas when Christmas becomes a way of life!

I know that our loved ones are in Heaven celebrating Christmas Day and helping to make our day a little better. It is very rough for me this time. I am also missing my Mother as well as my Son. Christmas came and went quietly and humbly.
I pray your Christmas was blessed!
Kathy


selvam
12/26/2006 14:51

My dear sister Ms. V. Thank you so much for all your good wishes and I pray that you had a great Christmas with all the family and in good health, keep up those exercises and hang in there my dear sister, my love and prayers are with you and also my Healing Lights.
Dear Chris, I second you in thinking and praying for all our Angel Kids, I am sure they had a beautiful celebration in Heaven.
Dear Charlene, thank you for your birthday wishes and I am glad that you are resting and just taking it easy, I pray that you will be feeling much better and I am glad you had a great Christmas's Eve with the family.
Dear Jane, thank you for your prayers, to tell you the true, I really don't want to find a soul mate right now, I am not ready for it, i really enjoy being alone with my memories and prayers, I still have my brother and sister and sometimes I ask them to leave me alone for a while, this way I can cry my eyes out and don't worry about making them sad.
Kathy I am sure that it was rough for you as well as for everyone here, I'm so glad that it is over, yes my dear sister when the tears come, we have to let it out, it is better that way, I am glad you had a quiet and calm Christmas, that was my wishes to all. My prayers are with you all and also my love. Selva


Shaner
12/27/2006 16:43

Hello to All!
God is so good, we were packing up the car to head out and the minute I got in the car to start our trip, all my anxiety disappeared! Thank you all, dear sisters for your prayers, they were answered for me, Praise God!
We had a nice, quiet family Christmas, one of our traditions is to light a Candle for Shane at the table, telling him how much we love him and miss him as well.
It was so nice to be with Chris and Jialing, we had a good Christmas and a peaceful one. I am glad though, that it's over.
I'm so happy to read that you all had a peaceful Christmas as well!
Kathy, I know this was a very hard Christmas for you and what you posted articulate's better than I could about how a newly bereaved Mom feel's, God love you, and every other newly bereaved Parent.
God's blessings to you all and know that each and everyone of you are treasured jewels, each shining their own light in this Circle of Love,
Much love to all & Hugs,
Sandy


jpot
12/28/2006 00:14

Dear Selva, I think I wasn't clear in saying you need a soulmate. I wasn't talking about a life partner, rather someone who knows you very well and you have a soul connection. That person would know when you needed time alone, but would also know when you needed to talk. Soulmates are hard to come by. I've only had one and she died in 1994. The only way I can explain it is like our souls connected with one another. Within a year of meeting each other, I was diagnosed with a severe mental illness and she was diagnosed with breast cancer. I survived and she didn't. We would even read each other's journals. We had two very different diagnosis, but we traveled them together. That's what I meant, someone to walk this journey with you.

Kathy, your post was so beautiful. It is more than ok to acknowledge our feelings and allow the tears to come. Somewhere in the Psalms it states that God keeps our tears in a bottle because they are precious to Him. And yes, those of us left behind still have work to do. The Psalms also states that God inhabits the praise of His people. So even in all our sadness we still find a way to praise Him, by doing that we're spreading the good news of Christmas year round.

Dear Sandy, I'm so glad that the prayers of your sisters were answered. It must have been such a relief to have that awful anxiety gone. I think it is a beautiful tradition to light a candle at the Christmas table for Shane. I think of it as removing the pink elephant in the room. Everyone knows someone is missing, but afraid to talk about it. Everyone in your family immediately acknowledges the physical absence of Shane while accepting the spiritual pressence of him.

I too am glad the day is over. I was going on overload and didn't think I was going to make it. In all my busyness I wasn't connecting with the reason for the season. I am really rethinking next year's celebration. I'm only 54 but my body, because of many complicated chronic illnesses can't keep up with everything I want it to do. I'm sure that's why I landed in the hospital the weekend after Thanksgiving. Unless God decides to heal me, I have to accept the body I have and the limitations that go with it. This year I didn't and I'm pretty burned out. Like I said, rethink next Christmas. This year I had three Thanksgiving dinners, attended four Christmas parties and had Christmas Eve dinner at my house. Somehow I lost another 5 pounds. I know most people would not complain about losing weight over the holidays, but in the last two years I have lost close to 100 pds. At first my doctor thought it was great,because I was really very overweight now he's concerned. I don't want to lose any more because I can't afford new clothes! Well enough about my woes! It's just that this week the Lord has really been convicting me about taking care of myself. Not an easy thing to do when you live alone. But that is my New Year's goal. I don't make resolutions, I usually make one goal. It's that time again to hit the sack so good night to all and God bless. Love, Jane


havelost4
12/28/2006 09:06

SPECIAL DATES LIST FOR JANUARY:


Susan (stwiny): Alex Jan. 2, 1983(BD)

Charlene (havelost4): (granddaughter) Casey Marie Jan. 7, 1992(BD)
Margie (kimemandjakesmom): (stepdaughter) Casey Marie Jan. 7, 1992(BD)

Connie (connienevada): Derrick Jan. 18, 2006(HD)

Barbara (babbs): Jason Jan. 28, 2001(HD)


Love and (((HUGS))) to all,
Charlene

(And don't forget to pray for Barbie tomorrow on her Garry's birthdate.)


Shaner
12/29/2006 10:16

Gee, it's really quiet here since Christmas, I pray that everyone is alright and just resting up from all the stress. New Year's too can be a difficult day, as we start another brand new year without our child in it, but its also a small step forward on your own individual Journey's of Grief, God love you all.
Thanks dear Jane, yes, thanks to my sisters here and other's, as well as my precious Shane, I was so happy and relieved that the anxiety completely went away! God is good, all the time, all the time, God is good!
You're so right, we've been lighting a special Candle for Shane at every family get together and it remove's that elephant from the room.
Oh, dear Jane, listen to your body, it's speaking loud and clear to you, we do not want to see you land in the hospital again, so please take care of yourself!
It's freezing here today, but still no snow, we had a green Christmas again this year - not good for the environment or the ecology though. I have to go out, so I'd better bundle up,
My love and Hugs to all
Sandy


lask
12/30/2006 23:06

Hope everyone had a nice Christmas. I am glad it is over and now that I am busy cleaning my house for the New Year's Eve party that we have I can't wait for that to be over too. I met this man today for the first time and we got into a conversation about all the things that has happened and he told me to go throw salt around and tell all the bad withches to go away and all my bad luck will leave and I will have better things happen to me. As he was telling me this all I could think about is the Lord will take care of these things and He will always be there for me and help me through the bad times.Some people just don't get it. Bless you all! Got to go back to cleaning since it is after 11 p.m. and I got about another hour to hour and a half before I go to bed.


havelost4
12/31/2006 11:19

My greatest blessing this year has been the love and companionship of you all, my dear sisters. I couldn't think of anyone better for our Father God to send to me, to take my hand and walk this road together with me. The journey isn't one that any of us would have chosen, but we have chosen to walk it together, which makes it doubly special! May God richly bless all of you this coming year! This is my prayer of blessing for each one of you today and for this coming year:



"Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing. . . . Live in peace with each other . . . warn those who are idle, encourage the timid, help the weak, be patient with everyone. Make sure that nobody pays back wrong for wrong, but always try to be kind to each other and to everyone else. Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus. Do not put out the Spirit's fire; do not treat prophecies with contempt. Test everything. Hold on to the good. Avoid every kind of evil. May God Himself, the God of peace, sanctify you through and through. May your whole spirit, soul and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. The one who calls you is faithful and He will do it." (1 Thessalonians 5:11, 13-24 NIV)


Much love and (((HUGS))) and prayers,
Charlene


astarte1225
1/1/2007 07:45

To all my sisters,
Happy New Years!
I love you all!
Anita


selvam
1/1/2007 19:25

To all my dear sisters. May you have a very Peaceful and Healthy New Year. May our Lord surround you all with His Blessings, Love and the knowledge that all our Angel kids are in His presence, enjoying His unconditional love. My love and prayers are with you all.
Selva


LOVE2U
1/1/2007 20:18

Happy New Years everyone! :) I thank God for walking with us throughout the holiday season, and for sending us the help we need through friends and family, and sometimes even strangers. It gives me peace just knowing that God is on our side, and that we can go to Him and and express our emothions, and tell Him exactly how we feel as we continue on our journey. Whether we are having a hilltop day or valley day, it helps to know that we are not alone.
Much Love, (((HUGS))) & Prayers, :)
Verna


LOVE2U
1/1/2007 20:56

Sorry I didn't spell check! :)

Sue, please know that you are being prayed for leading up to your beloved son, Alex's Jan. 2nd BD. I join the other angel moms in prayer for you; that your day will be filled with fond memories and peaceful moments, and that you feel your Alex's presence throughout the day.
God's peace and blessings,
Verna


jpot
1/1/2007 21:52

Happy New Years to all,
Sorry I couldn't post sooner, but yesterday I could not get on beliefnet again. Then today I picked up extra hours at work. I was also called in late yesterday to work about 3 1/2 hr till we closed. Yes Sandy, I am being more careful, but couldn't turn down today with time and a half. Last week I had Sun, Mon and Wed off. This week I have Tue and Thur off and no real early hours or long shifts.

Charlene, thank you so much for your New Year's greeting and blessing. It was great to read it so many times. Thank you to all who forwarded it to me.

Sue, please know you are in my prayers especially for the next couple of days.
The year your Alex was born is exactly in the middle of my last two sons (80 & 86). I pray you will have great memories and the sorrow will lessen. I believe it is harder for those whose special dates are so close to the holidays. I pray you will feel God's loving presence surround you in the coming days.

Lea Ann, I hope your New Year's Eve party went well. I agree with you, we don't need salt when we have the Creator of the Universe as our Father to protect us.

I chose to have a quiet New Year's Eve. I turned down a friend's invitation because I was tired and didn't want to be on the road late that night. New Year's Eve is always bittersweet for me. That's the night my father had his fatal accident, so I'm always leary about being out when I'm tired I just stay home. Anyway, I think I partied enough this season!

I pray God's blessing for everyone for the coming year. May it be filled with further healing and pleasant surprises.
Love, Jane


LOVE2U
1/2/2007 05:11

Sue, ~ I lit my "Special Day" candle very early this morning in loving tribute to your beloved son, Alex, on his birthday. Please know that our prayers and thoughts will be with you today as you recall fond memories shared with your beloved Alex. My prayer is that you will feel Alex's presence all around you today. If the tears come, know that it's OK, and that we are here to cry with you. Only those of us who have walked in your shoes can understand or relate to what special days as well as any day is like for an angel mom. I pray that it helps to know that you are not alone and that God assures that the love bond between you and your precious son, Alex, is forever!
Love, (((HUGS))), and Prayers,
Verna
///////////////
And the Holy Spirit said ... "Go write this down!"

Everyday Miracles

Sometimes we can’t see the miracle
Because of the overwhelming pain
Because of the overpowering desire
To see our children again

Sometimes we don't recognize the miracle
We may wonder if God is really there
That if He is … we convince ourselves
That about us He really doesn’t care

Then all of a sudden something happens
Only then are we able to see
The small but never-ending miracles
He sends daily to you and me

The spiritual connection
Between a mother and her child
God assures … will never end
Like the spiritual connection
Between God and His children
Its forever and eternal my friend!

Therefore … be mindful of tiny miracles
That He sends to us everyday …
Through friends, family, and sometimes strangers
That our heavenly Father sends our way!

From: Prayers and Poetry for the Bereaved
By: Verna R. Clay
1/2/2007
Copyright 2007


LOVE2U
1/2/2007 05:57

Charlene, ~ I just wanted to thank you again for posting and sending our special day list in an email. You are a perfect example of the everyday blessings/miracles that God sends our way each and everyday. God, in His wisdom has given each of us tiny blessings/miracles/tasks that He has determined He wants each of us to perform. It may be no big deal to us, but mean so much to others. As Sandy reminds us, each of us is important and our contribution to this circle of love no matter how small it may seem, is a special blessing to others. Whether we are sharing a valley day or hilltop day, it helps other angel moms [especially the newly bereaved], begin to realize that they are not alone, they are not going crazy, and that other angel moms have felt all that they may be feeling on any given day. I believe with all my heart that God hears and responds to each and every prayer that is prayed. Sometimes we don't get what we pray for. That is when God speaks through us to help ease our burdens and to assure us that we are not alone. So, again, on behalf of all our angel sisters, I thank you!

Angel Moms, thank you all for all the prayers you have prayed for me. As some may know, its been a pretty rough year. But I am still counting my blessings in spite of it all. Each of you have been such a blessing to me on days when I felt very much like giving up. I just want each of you to know that I appreciate you, and I am so very grateful that God led each of you here, and has blessed each of us in His own special way.
Much love and heartfelt prayers,
Verna [aka miss v.] :)


Shaner
1/2/2007 10:25

Hello dear AngelMoms, sisters, well, it's all over with now, you survived the Holidays, as painful as they were for some of you, God love you all and I'm happy as well that we're back to 'normal'.
Yes, our dear Charlene, I absolutely loved your post above that you sent us in an e-mail, you never fail to reach out to all!
Our dear Lee Ann, I also hope you had a wonderful New Year Eve's party and you were able to enjoy it, even if it was just a little,
Our dear Miss V, that's a beautiful Poem and gift to Susan today, on her Alex's Birthday, I know she'll love it too :) and yes, may 2007 be filled with good health and more joy for you, you definitely deserve it!
Our dear Jane, no, I don't blame you for working, its hard to pass up time and a half, and I'm glad to hear that you have some day's off. Oh, that's really hard, your Dad's Anniversary on the 1st, so sorry to hear that dear one.
It's hard for me to believe that this Circle is entering it's 8th year, I never expected it to become the lovely Garden that it has, but God knew, :).
Much love & Hugs to all,
Sandy


Shaner
1/2/2007 10:43

Hello my dear friend Sue, my Candle is lit too on this, your precious Alex's Birthday. Happy Birthday dear Alex, I know you'll be around your much loved Mom today, she misses you so much! I agree with Miss V, the love bond you both share is Eternal and I know she feel's your love all the time.
Prayers for God's comfort and peace for you today dear Susan,
Much love & Angel Hugs,
Sandy


jpot
1/2/2007 12:35

Dear Verna,
Thank you so much for that beautiful poem. It reinforces a goal I have set for this year. That is to hear and act on God's voice more clearly. Also to see His hand or work in the ordinary details of my days. Yes, He does send tiny miracles everyday that we are not aware of. I am praying that I would be more aware of His actions everyday.

Thank you also for the beautiful Christmas card. You are just so thoughtful. I know that last year was so difficult for you and yet you always found the strength to encourage us with your posting and poems. Thank you for allowing God to use you despite your many health problems. Love, Jane


jpot
1/2/2007 12:50

Dear Sandy,
I didn't think you would blame me for working, I was just reassuring you that I was also taking care of me. One of my goals is to take better care of my body. For me that means to eat properly, get my needed sleep and no longer working more than 5 days in a row. The eating is going to be the hardest because I don't like to eat and only do it out of sheer obedience to take care of my "temple." I am under contract with my therapist to have one meal a day. Next time we meet I am going to add at least some fruit or veg during the day. This is so different for me because for years I lived to eat, now I must eat to live. Really don't know how that happened, but it's something I have been struggling with for about 2 yrs. I don't have a full blown eating disorder, but I'm definitely on the edge. So I would really appreciate everyone's prayer in achieving this goal.

Sandy, I want to personally thank you for keeping this circle going for eight years. You are one of the miracles that Verna wrote about in her poem. It always amazes me what God can do when we allow Him to use us despite our own pain. So thank you for being a vessel of God's Love to all who find this circle. Love, Jane


jpot
1/2/2007 13:01

Dear Kathy,
You've been pretty quiet this week. I pray all is going well for you and that you are just busy. I know before the holidays you were having a hard time. I just want you to know that I miss you and am praying for you. Love, Jane

 
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