Prayer Circles

Dear Charlene, Donna, Sandy, Kathy,Verna, Anita and all angel moms
Thank you for welcoming me. I do belief I have found the right place to pour my heart out to. All of you have made me feel welcomed and for that I thank you. Its nice to know that there is a safe place to come to... where everyone truly understands because we all have walked the same heartbraking road. I belief Our pain is unlike any other, the loss of a child goes beyond normal grief. I feel It is a pain that never goes away, it suffocates and cripples you. Even though relatives, friends, and acquaintances are well intended they don't know what its like, and when your living the nightmare the reality is you can’t even begin to explain it, nor are there enough words to describe it. I'm just understanding how fleeing life can be and that we have to make every moment count,never leaving for later what we should be doing now.

Charlene,
My heart breaks for you. You have had more than your share of loss. Just how much can one person endure? Yet you have so much wisdom to offer...especially to those like me who are new to this and still trying to find my way while wrestling with my share of demons. Yes I did questioned God, and felt my self initially slip into a dark place. Through the love,kindness, support of family, friends, acquaintances and even strangers I found my faith again. I belief God has brought me to this sight and I'm am very grateful.

Hi Fellow Sisters,
This is going to be short I promise. I have been working way too much and baking almost all my free time. Just wanted to post to a few right now.

First, Jennifer, please add my prayers to the others. This must be such a difficult time for you, especially so close to the holidays. I don't think I know you yet as I'm pretty new here, but you can count on my prayers.

Verna, I have one of those "breathing machines". If you're already having trouble sleeping make sure you don't use it 2 hours before you go to bed. It tends to make you jittery like you've had too much caffine. I took my treatment before work, then finished my coffee today. The first few hours I was really buzzing. My co-workers and customers were understanding when I told them what was going on. Until you see what it does to you, my advise would be to cut back on caffine an hour before and an hour after a treatment. Saying that, the treatments have kept me out of the hospital for the most part and my wheezing is minimal. By the way, don't be surprised when you open the box and find small vials in it. They usually give you one month's supply. It just comes in a large box.

Anita, more Scripture is coming. I just need to follow the HS leading when I post them. I know from experience that sometimes saying life sucks means much more than a Scripture verse at that given time. Thank you for your kind words.

For all the rest, please know that you are in my prayers. I don't know about you, but I desparately need to take time from my busyness and reconnect with God. This year our church has been memorizing Ephesians. Next week by the end of the year I will have accomplished that. However, in the last month, that is the only consistant time I spend with God. I'm really missing my early (for me) times with Him. Sometimes I think in my busyness I have forgotten the reason for the season. I don't remember last year being as busy, and I was a full-time student then. Well, it's actually before midnight my time and I am signing off my computer. Good night to all. Love, Jane

OK I lied,
TwoSammy and I were posting at the same time. I think I welcomed you when you first posted, but if not I add my welcome to our unique family. Yes the grief right now is overwhelming. You have found a safe place to express all your feelings and not be judged. We have all walked the same road. Some more than once. It would be helpful to know your first name, it's easier to relate and pray for one another when we know first names. Also Charlene keeps a list of our child's birthday (BD) and the day they went to heaven (HD). You can either e-mail her by clicking on her post and go into her profile and click send private message or you can post it here. Again welcome, and know that right now people are praying for you. Love, Jane

Anita,
I agree our stories are very similar and I am so sorry for your losses. I can see from your words of compassion that this is a place we can heal in. thank you for sharing.

Dear Jennifer,
I am sorry I wasn't able to post yesterday, please know that you are in my prayers. I know how hard these special days are and I trust God is providing you and your family with his comfort, peace and love. I will be praying for you through this difficult time and holiday season. Love to you,
Kathy

Welcome back Twosammy and I am so happy to see you post! You can be sure you have found the right place to pour your heart out. I agree with you, no one knows the pain of losing a child but those who have. People mean well and try to understand but you will see here that we know exactly what you are talking about. We know exactly how you feel. That is why I am so glad you came back. The healing you will receive from this circle is amazing! Little by little, day after day you will feel your healing begin. Just as God lead me here, he did the same for you. You didn't come here by accident. I praise God for bringing you here.
Love to you sister,
Kathy

As for God, his way is perfect; the word of the Lord is flawless. He is a shield for all who take refuge in him. It is God who arms me with strength and makes my way perfect.
2 Samuel 22:31

Hello dear AngelMoms, sisters,
Gosh it sound's as though you're all busy baking up a storm, working and getting ready for Christmas. I'm happy for you all that it's keeping your mind busy, with the day fast approaching!
Every year at our local Chapter of Bereaved Parents we have an Open House at this time of the year, to put your 'Angel' on the Christmas Tree of Memories with your child's picture attached to the Angel. They also have Christmas goodies, tea, coffee for everyone and you socialize, so that's what we did yesterday. Everyone has their own tragic story to tell, how they lost their child to death. It's something tangible to do though at this time of the year in memory of your child and it does help.
Jane, one of the Mom's there expressed the same concern over her other son, if the unthinkable can happen once, she's afraid his lifestyle put's him at risk as well, God love you both.
There are things I need to do here to get ready to travel to our son Chris's for Christmas, but I'm really finding it difficult, I just can't seem to shake this anxiety.
Jennifer, I also thought of you yesterday with your precious Aimee, I don't know if you're still online, but as you can see, everyone posted with their love and support for you and yes! Happy Birthday Elizabeth.
twoSammy, welcome back, I'm very happy to see a Post from you, yes, I believe you were 'steered' here too and please consider this your Circle as well! If you're reluctant to post your name, we understand, no pressure, when you feel comfortable enough here you will, :).
This Journey can sometimes be a very lonely road, but at least here we all understand what you're experiencing.
I love all of you dear sisters and feel truly blessed by all of you, you each in your own way make this Circle what it truly is - one of unconditional love.
Much love & Hugs to you all,
Sandy

Our dear Jane, did someone explain to you how to do a mass mailing yet? You're with Yahoo, same as myself. All you do is open your Address Book, put a check mark beside each person's name you want it to go to, then at the bottom of the address book, click on Selected Addresses to insert. Voila, they'll all appear in the 'To' field of the outgoing mailing!
Love Sandy

Dear Anita,
I share your thankfulness for this circle. We are all truly blessed and we all bring something different to each other. We are very unique! You are in my prayers!
Kathy

Dear twoSammy,
It's good to see a post from you again. This is a safe haven to come to and share; I know. You mention 'my' wisdom but it isn't mine. I don't know where the words come from that come into my mind and out of my mouth except from God. A lot of times I don't know what to write but I say a prayer for wisdom and when I start typing, the words just flow out of me. I attribute that to God answering my prayer. The words are from Him (sometimes) and I thank Him for that. And I've read many times and am learning firsthand that wisdom comes from experience and the deeper our pain, the greater our knowledge. Hopefully we will choose to let God turn the knowledge into wisdom and let Him work through us to help others. All the dear sisters here have been such a blessing to me--helping me as well as letting me help them. You couldn't have found a better group of women to share your thoughts with. Again, all their pain has made them 'wise' beyond their years because they KNOW what you are going through. If you want to be included in the Special Dates List email me and I will add your name and your child's information. I pray that you have a very peacefilled Christmas.
Love and (((HUGS))) and prayers,
Charlene

Dear, dear SANDY,
I lift you up in prayer to our Heavenly Father, that He would ease your anxiety and fill you with His peace. Father God, whatever is causing Sandy's anxiety, I ask that You remove it or else reveal to her what it is so she can ask You herself to heal the hurt and pain associated with the Christmas season. Father God, I ask You to give her safe travel to her son's for Christmas; and I also ask You to help her get things done before she goes. Most of all, give her peace of mind, knowing that You are her Father and You love her very much. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen.
Love and (((HUGS))) to you Sandy.
Charlene

To All,
I don't believe it but I'm done with all the baking and decorations. I did cut back on the decorations though. I just decorated downstairs for all our "family" to enjoy. I didn't do anything in my area. All I have left is the wrapping, which shouldn't take long. For some reason this year has been the most difficult for me to prepare for the holiday. I think maybe since I started here I've realized there is some unresolved grief(as if grief can ever be resolved). For me that is not a bad thing because for so many years I held everything inside. Some days I just feel so depleted of both physical and emotional strength. But I carry on because I have no choice if I don't want to enter that dark pit again. Keeping busy does help alot, for be it was the willpower to get busy.

Sandy, I pray that your anxiety will leave and you will have a wonderful time with Chris. I think you know by now that it's ok to have fun.

Now it's off to bed. Betty promised to be by me early. She's having trouble getting some meds filled and needs my phone. Please pray for her, she's run out of her antianxiety meds. If she can't get it resolved I may have to bring her to er tomorrow. She's been on them for over 20 yrs and withdrawal will start and can be very dangerous. Her problem is that she waited to long to have the prescription renewed and can't get ahold of her dr. She does have a caseworker who is trying to help her get one month's prescription until she sees her Dr. Good night all. For those who won't be back until after Christmas, have a blessed one. Love, Jane ps ok, I'm really tired. It took me four times to spell my mane right!

Our dear sister Charlene, thank you so much for your beautiful prayer for me, you always say just the right thing in your prayers and I'm very grateful for that! You're always so supporting and loving here, God will bless you tenfold,
Much love & {{Hugs}}
Sandy

Hi my dear sisters. It is good to see that everybody is keeping busy, this helps a lot during the Holidays.
Dear TwoSammy you came to the right place, you will find lots of understanding, prayers and love in this wonderful Circle of Love. Our pain is so unique that only the ones who have gone through this painful road, will be able to really understand, like our dear Angel in Chief Sandy said, please consider this your Circle too. Sorry we have to meet this way, but like the others, I welcome you to our Circle of Love.
My dear dear sister. My prayers will be with you, I know that we all have to wear "The Mask" once in a while, I pray that God give you strenght to go through the Holidays once again.
To all, please know that I will be praying 24/7 for all of us and I please know that all of our Angel Kids will be celebrating Jesus's Birthday in His Presence and will be smiling at us. My love and prayers to all. Selva

Thank you Sandy! Actually, I could really use that ten-fold blessing today. I woke up around 2:00 AM feeling like I have the flu; feverish, body aches, cough. I've been taking pain meds and cold meds and I'm carrying on as usual when all I want to do is fall back into bed and cry myself to sleep. :o)
I don't need this right now, Lord; especially with all my kids and grandkids coming tomorrow for Christmas brunch! Whatever it is, I especially don't want to give it to any of the grandkids. So I could use a miracle sometime today to get rid of this junk; I don't need it or want it! I'd appreciate your prayers as well.
Love and (((HUGS)))--I promise I won't breathe on you--,
Charlene

Hi my dear sister,
Thank you too for your prayers and you know mine are with you; yes, so we wear the 'mask' if we have to, and you're so right, imagine the Birthday Party in Heaven that all our kids will be a part of! You have a nice dinner with your family and do as I suggested for Christmas Day, we WILL get through it!
Love you my dear sister & Hugs,
Sandy

Oh, our dear Charlene, yes dear one, I've prayed for your health and I pray right now you're having a wonderful Brunch with your family, making more wonderful memories! If you're still feeling a bit ill, delegate the work and don't try to do everything yourself.
OK, I've backed away from my Monitor, ha, ha,
May the peace of Christ be with you all,
Much love & Hugs,
Sandy

I have to log off now and continue getting ready for our early morning trip, my heartfelt prayer for all is that Christmas be a peace-filled one in your heart and soul.
For all our newly bereaved Moms, I know this is a very tough and painful time for you, in addition to my prayers for you the only advice worth giving is that you spend the day that is easiest for you, and please, don't hold back your tears, they are a soothing balm for your broken heart.
And always remember you have us,
Lots of love and Hugs to all,
Sandy

Hi to ALL,
If I don't get a chance to post I want to wish everyone a Blessed Christmas. I know for some it will be much harder. If we keep our focus on Jesus some of the pain will ease. He is the reason we can believe our children are in Heaven.

I was really tired the other night. I even spelled name wrong!

I ended up taking Betty to ER yesterday and they gave her a script for 5 days. She has promised me she will contact our mental health center on Tues. The ER doctor sent in a social worker who gave her lists where she could get help with food and financial. Then the doctor sent in a rep from the mental health center who guaranteed her that she would get an immediate appointment on Tues. The social worker sent us to the crisis center where we both got hams and food. I kept the ham and a few cans of food and gave the rest to her. She sould be able to make it foodwise until the 1st. After that I wrapped all but Betty's present (cuz she's attached to me like glue). I am totally ready for Christmas, except the actual cooking which will be done tomorrow. For someone who really wasn't into the season I really got my act together quickly. Thank you for all the prayers. Love to all, and know that you are always in my prayers. Jane

Hi to ALL,
If I don't get a chance to post I want to wish everyone a Blessed Christmas. I know for some it will be much harder. If we keep our focus on Jesus some of the pain will ease. He is the reason we can believe our children are in Heaven.

I was really tired the other night. I even spelled name wrong!

I ended up taking Betty to ER yesterday and they gave her a script for 5 days. She has promised me she will contact our mental health center on Tues. The ER doctor sent in a social worker who gave her lists where she could get help with food and financial. Then the doctor sent in a rep from the mental health center who guaranteed her that she would get an immediate appointment on Tues. The social worker sent us to the crisis center where we both got hams and food. I kept the ham and a few cans of food and gave the rest to her. She sould be able to make it foodwise until the 1st. After that I wrapped all but Betty's present (cuz she's attached to me like glue). I am totally ready for Christmas, except the actual cooking which will be done tomorrow. For someone who really wasn't into the season I really got my act together quickly. Thank you for all the prayers. Love to all, and know that you are always in my prayers. Jane

Sorry for the second post. My computer froze during the submit. When I hit it again, I got two posts. Figure that out!

Hi Jane, ~ as Sandy always says, "double the posts, double the blessings!" :)

Y'all, my hubby, David and I celebrated our 47th anniversary today by sharing a quiet, peaceful day at home today. He spent most of the day watching sports [football], and keeping up with the dishes as I cooked. I took a much needed nap first, then got up and started preparing Christmas dinner. I really enjoyed the quietness and slow pace today without the grand kids. I know it will be wild on tomorrow! :) So I plan to get some rest in a few, now that it's almost Christmas day. I just wanted to come here and wish everyone a peaceful and blessed Christmas, and also a happy New Years.:) Also to wish our sister, Selva, a very, peaceful and blessed birthday on tomorrow. :) Selva, I am sure our angel kids are having a double party celebrating David's and my anniversary and your birthday back to back! :) What an awesome blessing to share your birthday with our Lord and Savior. :) You are so very special to all of us my dear sister. I pray that God will give you many, many peaceful moments for which we pray. Please know that you are all in my heartfelt prayers!
Much love & (((HUGS))) to all, along with God's peace and blessings, :)
Verna