Hello twosammy, a warm welcome to our Circle of Love, although we know you'd rather not be here...none of us do, but there is strength in numbers and comfort too.
I'm so sorry about your precious daughter, so young too, and your loss is so very recent, I know the pain and grief you're experiencing right now, we all do, we're all intimate with it and how losing a child tear's at your heart like no other loss can. You get through this most painful part with time and lot's of it, your time, not someone else's idea of a grief 'timetable'. You take one breath at a time, one hour at a time, one day at a time and lean heavily on God, He will be your Rock during the day's, month's ahead. Also, let it out, that's the most important advise I can give you, don't hold back your tears, or talking about your loss, this Circle is a very safe haven for doing that and you will never be judged for what you say!
You'll only find compassion, support, understanding, love and prayers here, we're all in this together, walking side by side.
God bless you dear one,
Love & Angel Hugs,
My dear, dear sister Selva, today is Solange's Birthday and I know all the Angel kids are throwing a big party for her. As our children start to age for us, we think of what could have been, what might be now, all the memories surface on a special day like today. I think it's wonderful that your spending time alone in Church today, and I pray that you feel your precious Solange around you today, to make it a little easier on you.
My love and prayers are with you to get through today, and every other day as well. Love you my dear sister,
Dear sister Selva,
Happy Birthday Solange!! Selva, my prayers are with you today. I know how difficult it is and I pray God surround you with his amazing love and glory. I pray Solange be with you today and you can feel her love for you. There is no greater love than that between mother and child, (except the love of God) it is a bond that cannot be broken no matter what happens. I pray that bond be ever present today...and everyday. Love to you dear sister.
My prayers are also with you today. I know today will be hard for you but you can be sure that the love of our God and the love of this circle will be with you and we will help you get through this day and all of the rest to come. You are so right...it is "just wrong". We may never know the reasons why things happen the way they do, we can only trust that the reasons are for good. I struggle with that most of all. I can see no good from losing our children. But I still have to have faith that is not all for nothing and someday I will see. I trust they are in Heaven waiting for us. Love to you too dear sister.
I apologize for not being able to post my sorrow for the loss of your brother. I pray for you and your family. I ask God to comfort you all and I pray that you take care of each other. Our families are so important. It isn't until someone is missing that we realize how important our ties to each other are. So take care of each other. Lean on one another. I pray God give you peace and understanding.
I am a little behind on my posts and my reading but I said a prayer for you this morning for comfort from your pain and swelling. I pray the Dr. was able to help you get some relief. Please know that I will be praying for you daily. I hope to see you post soon!
Love to you,
Words cannot express how sorry I am for the loss of your daughter. Things will never be the same and I know just how you feel. You asked how we get through this tragedy? Honestly we probably don't really know. It takes alot of faith in God, it takes talking with mothers who have also lost children and it also takes a large amount of strength and perserverance. I lost my son in Aug. of 2005. He was also my best friend. He was 23 years old. I felt like my heart had been torn from me when he passed. It still feels like that some days. All I can tell you is that it does get a little easier with time. The empty hole you have gets smaller and you can actually get through the day without falling apart. I thank God for the day I stumbled on this circle. It has helped me so much. Before then, I wanted to crawl inside myself and never come out. I also have other children who need me too and that is what kept me going. I had to be strong for them and take care of them. Your children and your Grandson is what will help you carry on. Please come to this circle again. It is very healing. You can say whatever you want, we will all be here for you. I don't know how you feel about God but I have asked him to surround you with peace, warmth, love and strength. Your daughter sounds like such a wonderful young woman. I know you are so proud of her. She is an angel in Heaven. God bless you.
To all my dear sisters,
You are all in my prayers daily. I wanted to thank you all for being here for me and each other. I am truly thankful for each of you. Just wanted you to know!
Dear all my sisters,
I haven't been posting because I'm feling pretty down. I know I have to get the Christmas decorations out and start baking, but I can't seem to find the energy to do either. I have a party tomorrow and Tuesday which I have to bring something, which means today I have to bake, since it's my day off. Like many have posted I just want to find a hole until the holidays are over, but won't. Today, I just found out my work won't give me Christmas Eve off, even though for the last 6 weeks I haven't had to work on Sunday. Christmas Eve is when my family comes over. They spend Christmas with their father. I'm going to plead my case to all my supervisors, please pray they will let me off. My kids don't want me to spend much on them materially, but really want my baked goodies. Right now I'm feeling overwhelmed and lonely. In the past I had a roommate who helped with the baking. I'm feeling her lost also (she moved to Indiana). So I just ask for prayer that I'm lifted out of this funk. Thanks for being here. Love, Jane
My dearest Selva,
My heart aches for you today. I'm praying for all of the sisters, but you are the most prevalent one on my mind. I guess because we have both lost our only child, it's easier to "relate" to how alone we feel on these special days.
My prayers go up for you, as well, today. We all know how that anniversary is.
It never ceases to amaze me how closely related everyone's story seems to be. It is obvious we are all sharing the same feelings, and in numbers, I know it helps me to know I am not alone with these feelings.
Welcome to the circle of LOVE! Please do come back and talk about your feelings here. This is the most wonderful group of people you are ever going to find. I thank God everyday that I too, stumbled upon this circle. I was completely lost, and feeling so alone in my grief until I found these wonderful women. As Sandy said, you will never find any judgement here, only love and compassion.
((((HUGS))))and butterfly kisses!
Dear Selva and Anita,
Please know that even thoough I'm down, I'm still praying for you. I pray that you both would experience the peace that passes all understanding. That God would wrap His arms around you and carry you through. Love, Jane
Oh Jane I pray God will lift you today and every day! I pray you will have Christmas Eve off to spend with your family and most of all I pray that you get good rest! That is the most important thing. I find that if I am overwhelmed my body just wants to sleep. I guess it is a defense mechanizm or something but I know after I have rested I generally feel better. Please don't push yourself too much if you can help it. You are in my thoughts and prayers!
Hello my dear sisters, ~ itís been a while since Iíve been able to post due to the swelling and pain in my hands. I went to the cardiologist doctor yesterday and found that I also have swelling in my ankles again. He recommended that I join one of the wellness centers and begin exercising 3 x a week again. Iíve managed to regain the weight that I lost shortly after heart surgery and he was not pleased to say the least. So I signed up today at the wellness center where my sister exercises, so that should make it easier for me to attend on a regular basis. I must also give up the Reeces! :( I am back on the fluid meds again which we hope will help.
I have been praying for all angel moms every day even though I could not post. I appreciate being remembered in your prayers. Your prayers help give me encouragement and the determination to continue on this endless journey that we all know so well. I pray that all will continue to feel the results of our daily prayers; one minute, one hour, one day at a time.
My dear special day sisters, Selva and Anita, please know that my thoughts and special day prayers have been going up for you both throughout today. As we know all too well, there are no words that can take the quiet sadness away. If there were, I would shout them all the way to heaven. But I hope that in some way you both know that my heart goes out to you on this your special day.
I have caught up on reading, therefore I know what to pray for each angel mom on a 24/7 basis. I will spend some time catching up on responding to back post [God willing] as soon as it is safe to do so. I truly thank you, dear Selva, for sending the healing lights. My faith is strong, therefore, they are working. To God be the glory!
To all my sisters who post here, once again, thank you all for the prayers, and please, please remember to pamper yourselves throughout the holidays. And, above all, [F.R.O.G.]: Fully Rely on God to give you the strength to get through them!
Love & heartfelt prayers,
Hello to all. I have been feeling really in a hole the last few weeks and I know it is the holidays since I did not get to think about my Ryan until this year. His fiancee lost her grandmother this morning. She was raised by her grandmother. When she called me and I asked her what was wrong and she told me I started crying. This poor girl lost her best friend in May and my son in November of last year and now she has lost her grandmother. She said she died in her sleep.If everyone could say a prayer for her it would help her get through this. Her name is Joann and I love her like a daughter. I have to go and try to get some sleep after I get done crying.
Love and prayers to all
Love Lee Ann
Heavenly Father, I pray that you comfort Joann in only the way you can. I pray you wrap your arms around her and assure her of your love. May she sense your Presence during the next few days as the preparations are made. Please let her know that she is never alone. Thank you for Lee Ann's continued involvement with her, even though it must be painful. I pray that you encourage Lee Ann as she helps Joanne through this. And Father, I pray for each of us as the days are getting harder to get through. I pray you remind us of why we have this holiday. It was because of your love that you sent your son. Not only did he pay for our sin, but he promised us a Comforter. Let us hold on to that in the next difficult weeks. Thank you for your awesome love for us.
For those who read my earlier post, I decided I could either stay in the self pity mode or do something constructive. I baked 8 coffee cakes (my speciality). I'm still not my chipper self but I'm not looking for that hole to hide in. Right now I'm looking forward to my bed! Love to all and goodnight. Love, Jane
Good for you Jane! Have a blessed day :)
To all my dear Angel sisters. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for your much needed prayers. Solange's birthday was a very sad day for me, I can't help but wonder if she would have been married by now, if I would be a grandma, if she would have finish school and be a succesful woman, OMG, so many questions and no answers. She was 25 years old yesterday, only 20 when she went to Heaven. Her birthday along with the Holidays are very hard on me, I have no other children, so I just don't celebrate any Holidays. I miss my daughter so much. Again your prayers helped me survive another special day and I thank you all for it. I believe prayers work, my love and prayers are with you always. Selva
My dear sister Anita. I also prayed for you all day yesterday, i left a little noto to Kim, I am sure my dear sister, that Kim and Solange were celebrating teir birthdays in Heaven with all our Angel kids. You are in my prayers. Love Selva
SELVA, I'm glad the prayers helped you through Solange's birthdate; but I'm sorry you have to spend time alone. I'm still praying for a 'soul sister' for you; someone for you to do things with, who would do things for you when you need it. My love and (((HUGS))) are sent to you today.
JANE, I'm sorry you are feeling down but I'm glad that you went ahead and did some baking so that you were tired enough to sleep. I hope you had a good rest. I've also started praying that you will get off of work on Christmas eve. I believe I would take off that day anyway; of course that's easy for me to say because I don't have to make that decision for myself right now. You will be where God wants you to be on that day, but that's hard to accept sometimes. (Remember I was in that situation not too long ago?) My love and (((HUGS))) to you!
SANDY, I'm glad you enjoyed the concert and were refreshed for a time! May God grant you that spirit through the rest of the holidays! Love and (((HUGS))) to you.
LEE ANN, I'm sorry that you are down too. Of course another death would bring back those feelings of loss to you. I lift up Joann to our Heavenly Father so He can wrap His arms around her and comfort her. I also ask that He would comfort you as you are grieving for and with her. Death is hard to accept no matter what time of year; but around the holidays just compounds the grief. Love and (((HUGS))) to you today and in the days ahead.
VERNA, I'm glad you found out what the problem is and are taking care of it. It will be doubly special to be able to walk with your sister; at least you shouldn't get bored. :o)
No Reece's???? This is the wrong time of year for him to expect you to be THAT good isn't it?? HaHa. I'll be praying that God gives you extra will power and self-control. Love and (((HUGS))) to you.
I'm getting ready for a family get-together tomorrow. My sister and her family, my 2 brothers and their families, my mother, and all my family will be getting together for the first time in over 10 years. I'm making a fruit salad, fudge bars, cheesy broccoli and rice, and gingerbread cake. It's making me tired but at least it helps me sleep at night. :o)
Then my husband and I have a get-together with friends the next Sat. and I've been baking some for that too. I hope all these people eat all this stuff I'm making because I don't need to bring it back home with me! :o)
I just feel kind of numb, not feeling the depression that I felt earlier this fall. I think maybe it's because I've been keeping extra busy physically and keeping my mind occupied too. I hope that it lasts through the holidays; the days seem to get busier the closer Christmas gets to be. I've been out of one of my medicines for about 2 weeks because the Health Store that I get it from can't get it any more. I finally called my dr. yesterday and had him send me enough to last until I see him again in Jan. I got it in the mail today so I'm hoping that it starts working quickly; my muscles in my back and legs have been twitching and trying to cramp when I'm up and working so I'm hoping that starting on the medicine again will get rid of that. Other than that, things are well here.
Very much love and more (((HUGS))) to you all!
Thank you for your prayers. Charlene, I did get a good nights sleep. Work went fine, and I got a great deal on a Christmas tree that comes in only 3 pieces already lit. Then was my ride home. I had a strong feeling I should take a different route, but when I got to the intersection where I usually turned, I automatically turned. I really need to listen to that still small voice. There was a major accident involving a minivan and a train. Traffic was horrible and it took be three times longer to get home. I was going to a party, so I just shut my car long enough to get directions and pick up my goodies. Well, as I was pulling out of my driveway, my car died. I was blocking the driveway so my roommate couldn't get in. He tried to push me back but told me I had to get out of the car. I did two stupid things, first I put the car in reverse instead of neutral, then when I got out of the car, I accidently push the auto locks. Both sets of keys were locked in my car! By this time I feeling like I'm having a rotten day. I called my motor club and they sent a tow truck with someone who could get into my car. Since it's so cold and my lights were on, my battery died. They jump started me and my car started fine. That's the bad news, all I really missed was the party that I wasn't real sure I wanted to attend anyway. Betty, my neighbor, the one really struggling in all areas of her life came over. She was talking to the drivers and found out one was the boss and he was looking for help. Her son lives with her and is unemployed. He used to drive a tow truck. She talked to the owner and he asked to speak to her son right away. He was hired on the spot. He starts at 10:00 tomorrow morning! The owner even is going to pick him up since they have no transportation. You know what, I'd give up a party anyday to see something like that happen. This son has been looking for work for weeks. So while I thought I was having a rotten day, God was at work. He is sooo Good! I don't know yet if I have a major problem with my car because this happen once before and I had it towed in, but the mechanic couldn't find anything wrong with it in the morning, except that it sputters in traffic. He told me whatever the problem, it would soon totally break and then he'd know what needed to be fixed. Otherwise he would have to start replacing parts one by one until it was fixed. For tonight I'm just thinking my car broke so Saul could get a job. I'm so grateful it was in my driveway and I didn't have to wait in the cold. Well, that's my saga for today. I'm going out now to start the car so I won't have trouble getting to work early tomorrow. I guess the moral is what may seen like a rotten day for one person, could bring a great blessing for another. Good night all and God bless. Love, Jane
Our dear Anita,
I am so sorry sweetie for not posting on your special day as well, but know I was thinking of you as well with love on your special day.
This whole week we've had the workmen in putting up a new living room ceiling for us (again) and then taping, mudding, sanding and painting it. So most of the week I've had to cover my PC with a dropcloth and catch a post here and there. I had just finished posting to Selva and then I was going to post to you, but they asked me if I could get off the computer, they needed to do some work.
Please forgive me, I'm so sorry I couldn't post until now.
As well as to everyone else, I've been able ti get ibkube earky in the am, before they arrived, but I'm behind in my posting here to everyone who are all big blessings to me and to this Circle of Love!
My love, prayers & Hugs to all,
OK, I just had my first laugh today - change that to I've been able to get online early in the am, ha, ha. Coffee...I need more coffee. :)
I want to say thank you to all of you for keeping my family and I in your prayers. I can't even begin to describe how I feel right now. I think I'm still in shock. I am sad, but it still feels like this is all a dream. None of it seems real. My son is having a really hard time with this. He is 6 and he was my brothers little buddy. They played video games together and picked on my daughters together. He refuses to cry because "men don't cry". I told him that was silly, but he is just holding it all in. He has been acting out and if I get onto him, he'll cry for an hour. So, I figure it's okay since he needs to cry and get it out. I'm really worried about my parents. They are trying to pick where they left off and I'm afraid they aren't taking them time to grieve like they need to. Anyway, please keep us in your prayers.
Thank you, Margie.
Margie- I know how you fell about your 6 year old. When my son passed my youngest grandson was so upset but did not cry. He was waitung to see his uncle marry the best girl that ever was. He hung around with my son as he was his Dad because he had asked my son to be his Dad after his Dad passed in Jan 2005.It took him awhile to cry but he finally did.
Jane - I thought I had bad days but you really had a bad one but I am glad it worked out for your neighbors son.
Thank you all for the prayers for Joann.
Bless you all Love Lee Ann