Prayer Circles

MARGIE, I believe I can speak for anyone here that it is perfectly all right to vent or whine here; you are entitled to it right now. The shock and hurt and unbelief are overwhelming right now and nothing will ease that but prayer and time. You are also hurting for your parents and that is hard when you can't do anything to help them. How are your kids handling this? You and your family are being prayed for. Let us know if there is anything else we can do for you.
Love and prayers and (((HUGS))),
Charlene

Dear Margie,
I am so sorry to hear about your brother. Let me assure you that everything you are feeling is normal. When I was your age my brother was killed in a hiking accident. He was your brother's age. We had to pack up six kids and drive from Chicago to New Jersey. The drive was surreal. When we got there my parents were zoombies, lots of medication. They couldn't even make any arrangements except to transport his body from Virginia. I remember being on autopilot, doing everything for my parents and taking care of my kids. Please accept all the help that is offered. You need all your energy to deal with the immediate tasks. I agree with Charlene, vent, whine, scream here. We all understand the incredible pain your in.

Heavenly Father, I pray that you wrap Margie and her family in your loving arms. Let them know how much you love them and are hurting with them. Help them to know that you are an everpresent God and you are carrying them through the next few days. Please send all the help they need to make sure the children are well cared for. Even in all their grief help them to fix their eyes on Jesus. Amen

Margie, we are all praying for you and your family. Post as often as you need to. This is one place where you will be accepted and not be judged. You are safe here. Love, Jane

Margie so sorry to hear about your brother. When my son died that was my only son to carry the name on too. My husband was so upset at the funeral that he startd crying and Ithought I had to be the one to hold down the fort and not cry. I know that was not true but at that second I thought it was right. I hope our Mom don't fell like that. It took me about 6 months to get that out of my head and now I make up for it. You are in my prayers. Love Lee Ann

LEE ANN, I know what you mean. At the hospital when we found out that we'd lost the girls, my husband fell apart and I couldn't cry at all; I just felt numb. I'm making up for it this year though. May God watch over us all and keep us safe and protect us from any more harm! In Jesus' name, Amen.
Love and (((HUGS))),
Charlene

I just received a reply from an email that I had sent to VERNA and some of the other sisters here on the 2nd. She asked me to post for her as her hands and wrists are badly swollen; she sees her dr. tomorrow and is asking for prayers for her pain and swelling.
Father God, I ask right now that you would surround our sister Verna with your love and comfort. Give her peace, Father; and give her dr. wisdom to know how to help her. I ask these things in Jesus' holy name. Amen.
Father, I also ask for comfort for our sister Margie today and in the days ahead, for her parents too as they all grieve for the loss of her brother and their son. Father, surround them with your loving peace; in Jesus' name. Amen.
Father, bless all my sisters today and give them peaceful sleep and rest tonight; in Jesus' name. Amen.
Love and (((HUGS))) to all,
Charlene

Kinda quiet lately. Is everyone ok? Margie, just wanted you to know that I am storming Heaven's gate for you and your family. Lee Ann and Charlene, I too watched my husband cry and felt I had to be the strong one and not cry. Wonder why we felt that way. Love, Jane

Margie,dear sister my heart goes out to you and your family during your time of pain and sorrow. My prayers are with you and your family.
And please don't feel bad about letting your feelings out.That's what we are here for.
Dear God please comfort Margie and her family as only You can. Help them through this difficult time.In Jesus name I pray.
Love, Anita

Selva dear sister,
I know our Solanges b-day is coming up Thursday and I am already praying that you will have a peaceful day. I've prayed that you may have warm beautiful memories of Solange.
Know that my thoughts and my prayers are with you dear sister.
Love you,Anita

To all my sisters,
I may not post very much the next few weeks.It seems the closer the holidays get the more depressed I get and I shut down and do alot of meditating.It usually starts lifting in Jan.
But I will still pray for each of you everyday.
Love you all,
Anita

Dear Anita,
Please know that you are not the only one who closes down during the holidays. It is the most difficult time of the year for many, even those who have not suffered the loss we have. Prayer and meditation will help you a lot, but please don't totally isolate. Human contact is extremely important. You will be in my prayers. Love, Jane

Dear Anita and Selva,
My heart goes out to both of you on your special days; Solange's birthday and Kimberly's heaven date.

Sorry I've been MIA for so long. I actually went to deer camp with my husband. First time in 39 years that I've ever done that! It was extremely relaxing to be surrounded by all of God's creations! It pains me that they are "clearing" so much of what God created.

I've been reading ALL of the back posts. BOY! I am so far behind!

This year, the holidays have been unusually difficult for me. I grieve for my beloved Marcus, but my frend Melanie, this is her first holidays without Becca, so I've been trying to be there for her and make sure she knows she isn't losing her mind going through all of these "firsts". Halloween was Becca's favorite holiday, so it's been a rough road since.

Sorry for not posting more. I haven't been spending as much time on the puter. It seems to be harder to get out of bed these days.

A special note to Margie, my heart broke when I read her post. After reliving that dreadful day with Casey, then being hit with the news about her brother! My heart and prayers go out to you, Margie.

Charlene,
Don't be hard on yourself. For people who haven't been through it, 2 years sounds like a long time, but we ALL know it is NOT. Your grief is still quite NEW. Especially since you left it bottled up for so long. You have been nothing short of a blessing since you joined our "family" here.

My apoligies for the short post and especially for not responding to everyone. It is so wonderful to come here and see so many wonderful people posting and giving so much support. It just seems like I usually shut down around Thanksgiving, and stay there until after February. It's not a good reason for not coming and posting more, but sometimes I just read and can't seem to find the "right" words to post.

Margie, I am so sorry to hear about your baby brother. God himself is caring for you! He is your defender. He protects you day and night. He keeps you from all evil, and preserves your life. He keeps his eye upon you as you come and go, and always guards you. Psalm 121:5-8. I pray for you and your family as you go through this. My heart is heavy as it always is for all of the angel moms. Charlene I am praying that the heaviness as lifted up somewhat for you. Even though I can't get here like I want to, my prayers are with you guys constantly. I thought I would have had my computer fixed by now, but I guess it was not meant to be. As Jane stated, we had a looooooot of snow. I really felt the passing of Derrick this passed weekend. I could not get the snow blower started because he was the one that always used it. I always had a problem with that thing and this time was not different. My neighbors(both males)on both sides of me left my portion. They both had a snow blower but neither bothered to touch my little spot. My grandsons came over Sunday to shovel but by that time it was frozen and mostly ice. One of my church family member is coming to my house today to see what is wrong with the blower so that I will not have to go through this again. He will also show me how to use it. I am praying that this snow is the heaviest we are going to get. I am praying for all of you, for your family, and for your health. I am at work again trying to post before I get caught. My daughter and my grandchildren are in Florida this whole week for the cheerleader competition so its kind of quiet and lonely now. I will sneak later and post to you all again soon. :o) Much love and much blessings to you all.

Connie

I know what you mean, Donna, the Holiday Season is hard on everyone, I believe. The e-mail I sent you all with the online Christmas music channel....after I sent it along, I deleted it, they just don't 'feel' the same way they once did.
However, we are going to see Handel's "Messiah" tonight, performed by our city's Symphony along with 4 Soloists being put on by our Church and I do love hearing that every year!
Much love & Hugs,
Sandy

Hello to everyone,
There comes a time in everyone's life when the road your traveling on changes course. It is at that very moment you questioned everything you ever believed about religion, faith and hope. Every morning I make a conscious decision to move forward or to just give up. I don't know how you do it. My loss is a recent one and my life as I know it will never be the same. My daughter was tragically killed by a careless driver 0n april 24,2006. She was only 19. I would have gladly traded places with her. However, God didn't want me. He choose her, I'll never understand why. She had such a promising future, she was loved by many, children gravitated towards her. She was so involved in our community . She did so many wonderful things for the seniors of our community. She was an angel, not because she was my daughter, but because everyone who knew her say so. They say she touched their lives and left a footprint and they will never forget her. As for me she was not only my daughter, she was my best friend, my confidant, she was everything, We were inseperable. Just how does one go on when the biggest part of you is gone. though I have 2 other children and a granson (her son) they're not interchangeable. They're the reasoN I choose to go forward as hard as it is.

Dear twoSammy,
My heart goes out to you as I read your post. How does one go on? Just the way you are doing it--one day at a time; for your other 2 children and your grandchild; for yourself too. You're right, each day is a conscious and sometimes unconscious decision to keep going. What was the purpose of your daughter's life? You may never know all the answers to that one. You want her life and death to have a purpose, but sometimes we never know what that purpose is. You are being added to my daily prayer list, so don't ever feel like you're alone in this journey. Posting here is the first big step in reaching out for help. The sisters in this prayer circle are true sisters and will lift you up in prayer and encouragement every day; they have been a god-send to me. I just joined this circle in March of this year; I lost 2 granddaughters in a car wreck on Dec. 1, 2004 and 2 baby grandsons in 1989. Losing a child is like losing a chunk out of your heart; even if it heals with time, the scar will always be there. You are new in your grief and you need to pamper yourself for several years, especially as your daughter's birthdate and homegoing date approach. Life is never the same; DEFINITELY! We have all needed to learn how to live differently, with a big hole taken out of our lives; EVERYTHING about our lives changes--every relationship, even the way we look at life. And you're right, even the way we believe about religion, God, etc. I pray that you will have peace and comfort from everyone here as well as from our Heavenly Father. He understands our doubts and fears, He even welcomes our questions. After all, He's our Father. May He bless you this evening and fill you and surround you with His comfort.
Much love and prayers and (((HUGS))),
Grandma Charlene
Baby boy: 2-25-89 (adopted 3-89)
Michael: 3-27-89 (stillborn)
Casey Marie: 1-7-92 to 12-1-04 (car wreck)
Carey Grace: 3-18-94 to 12-1-04 (car wreck)

JANE and LEE ANN, My counselor says we women are usually the ones who are organized and in charge of committees, etc. (sometimes several at once), so that part of us just automatically takes over when a crisis occurs. Angela used to tell me it was because of the generation we were raised in; I don't know about that, but I do tend to take charge whenever all the family is here and I try to tend to the grandkids and do things for all of them. Except at Thanksgiving I rested and let our daughters take care of their kids. Maybe I'm learning how to step back and let someone else 'take over' for a while. I think we all need to do that when we're feeling down and sort of out of it. That's my philosophical input for the day. :o)
DONNA, Hey! I can't tell you how good it is to hear from you! I'm glad you were able to get away and relax some, but it's good to have you back. I said the same thing a few posts back (about not knowing the right thing to say sometimes) and I know that's just an excuse to hide from the world when I'm hurting. When I get to majorly feeling sorry for myself, I hate to come here and whine about it. But I know that everyone here has felt that way at one time or another in this journey. I just get tired of feeling that way sometimes. It sounds like you are having problems with your health; I'll add special prayers for that throughout my days again. Thanks for reminding me. I wish you all the best. It's good to have you back!
CONNIE, the problems you're having is just another example of our lives never being the same again. Things that were taken care of for us, we now have to do and it is so frustrating! I'm glad that a person from your church is going to help you, though. I agree with you that I hope this is the most snow we get all winter. I used to love the snow but as I get older and my bones feel the cold more, I like to look at it but I don't particularly like to get out in it. I pray that your daughter and grandchildren have a very good time in Florida and come back safe and full of stories to tell you.
SANDY, I love Handel's "Messiah"; just playing it from a cd lifts my spirits. Everything is so festive when you go to Christmas programs this time of year; I pray that your spirits will be lifted tonight and that you will come home refreshed and ready to face the holidays again.
To ALL my dear sisters, I pray that God would be merciful to us all and give us peace through the holidays. I pray that He would fill us with the wonder of a child at Christmastime, the awe and excitement that this time of year used to bring us. Father God, I ask You to fill each of us here with Your presence so that we can't help but feel Your sacrifice in sending Your Son to us. Thank you, Jesus, for leaving your security in Heaven and coming to earth to save our souls. Thank You Father for seeing us those many, many years ago when You sent Your Son to save us from our sins. Father, give each of my sisters here peace and rest and quiet sleep tonight. In Jesus'Name, Amen.
Love and (((HUGS))) to you all!
Charlene

ANITA, I want to give you special (((HUGS))) tonight on the eve of your Kim's homegoing date. Father God, surround my sister Anita with your loving arms; let her feel Your special love for her as a mom to a very wonderful daughter. Thank You, Father, that You gave Kim to Anita to have for a while. It's never long enough to have someone after they're gone; we don't realize what we missed out on until they're not with us any more. Father, give Anita peace tonight and tomorrow; may the memories be pleasant ones. Help her, Father, to trust You with the questions that don't have answers right now. Show her, Father, that You are a loving and merciful God and that You care about her as no one else does. Father, surround her with friends/family who care about her; give them understanding hearts to help her through tomorrow and through the holidays. In Jesus' Name I pray, Amen.
Love and special (((HUGS))),
Charlene

SELVA, My prayers are going up for you tomorrow. May God surround you with happy memories of your dear Solange and all the wonderful birthdays that you two shared. May He give you a peace that passes understanding tomorrow, and that that peace will carry you through the holidays this year. May He show you that you are in His care; may He surround you with His love tonight and tomorrow and through all the days through the holidays. You are a special sister and are missed when you can't post.
Love and special (((HUGS))),
Charlene

MARGIE, You are still in my prayers most all of my days; for peace and comfort and strength to get through all the 'activities' that accompany a death. May God let you know that you are loved and being upheld by our prayers.
Love and (((HUGS))),
Charlene

Dear two Sammy,
Reading your post brought back so many things. That could've been me 8 yrs.ago writing that. Tomorrow will be 8 yrs. since Kim was killed in a car wreck.She was 2 mos. shy of her 19th birthday,she too left a little boy.
At the time of Kim's death I also had 2 other children I had to take care of.
Like you I questioned many things to which I still have no answers.
Last Feb. I lost my son in another wreck and like Kim's I questioned things but I still don't have the answers.
But, I can say this circle has helped me through so much. Please post again.We all care.
Love,Anita

Dear Jane,
I will take your advice on not shutting down completely.I know from experience that doesn't help at all.
I did that right after Kim's death and my husband and kid's didn't think I would make it through.It was rough but I did make it.
This time I guess you could say it's a double whammy.8 yrs. without Kim and the first Christmas without Josh is (to use his phrase) just wrong.
But I know I can count on all of you to pray for me and I know I'll be alright.
Love, Anita

Charlene dear sister,
Thank you for the (((HUGS))) I really needed them. You truly are a blessing to this circle.
Love, Anita

Dear Donna,
It's good to see you posting again. I'm trying to catch up on some tonight. I probably wont be worth anything tomorrow.
Love,Anita

Hi Charlene, yes, it was an excellent Concert, with 4 Soloists, hearing it in person does make your soul soar along with the music and song! Definitely lifted my spirits, it's such a beautiful composition,
Much love & Angel Hugs,
Sandy