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Shane Whalen
This Prayer Circle is Dedicated to my son Shane Whalen Who Passed Away On March 15, 1999 at the Age of 24, & All Other Children


Start a prayer circle for bereaved parents who have lost a child.


There are many of us out there who have lost a child, and it is devastating. It changes the outlook on life, plunges you into a depression, and you think that the feelings and thoughts you have nobody else could possibly relate to. I think a prayer circle for bereaved parents would only benefit us and help us on our journey of grief. This Circle is one of Love, where a Grieving Parent can safely come to for Prayers, and to talk about their feelings.

 
Shaner -10/14/2000
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smile713
11/23/2006 20:45

Anita, I usually post with a candle but for you I post with a heart. The loss of a child is unexplainable, but two! The same way! I'm sending you a piece of my heart, so so you can use it to repair yours. Love, Chris


havelost4
11/23/2006 22:51

ANITA, Thank you for sharing your heart with us; it helps me to know how to pray for you. I'm glad this day is almost over; I'm very tired, but overall it was a good day. I got to play with the grandbabies and I paced myself and didn't try to do everything for everybody; I just let the moms take care of their kids this time and I rested and played with babies most of the day. We have two that are around 15-17 months, one 6 months, and one 5 weeks; the others are old enough to play by themselves so that's what we let them do. Dinner was good and as usual I ate too much. Tomorrow I'm taking the day off and resting all day! :o)
I know what you all mean about the pain. Mine is a tightness across the top of my chest and sometimes nausea if I don't make myself cry or get rid of the pressure. By getting rid of the pressure, I have to either groan or moan out loud, hold myself around my middle, and rock myself back and forth and then sometimes I cry and sometimes all I can do is repeat this for a while. Of course I do it when no one else is around; it feels really strange doing it but that's the only way I have found that gets rid of the pressure. It even feels strange talking about it but maybe this will help someone else feel not so strange if they have to do the same thing. Who knows, maybe I'm the only one who's strange. HaHa.
I hope and pray that everyone is good to themselves as we get into the holiday season full swing; do only what you HAVE to do, take time for pampering yourself, rest and relax as much as you can, and above all talk to someone about your questions and problems. It's hard to do sometimes, but it is worth it!
I'll probably be posting Monday with the December Special Dates.
Love and (((HUGS))) to you all!
Charlene


havelost4
11/23/2006 22:58

CHRIS, it's good to see posts from you. I hope you had a good Thanksgiving; thanks for the good wishes for a good day. Thanks for thinking of us! I know you have your special dates behind you for this year, but the holidays are probably still hard. Know that you and all the sisters here are being prayed for.
Love and (((HUGS))), Charlene


Shaner
11/24/2006 10:54

Hello dear AngelMoms, sisters,
The day is over with and with it the anxiety build-up that came with it, you can exhale now and know that how bad or good it was, you got through it!
Our dear Anita and Kathy, good for you changing your tradition and making it a bit easier on yourselves. Our dear Charlene, it sound's as though it was a nice Thanksgiving for you and your family, that's something we all say after the big meal, 'I ate too much' :)
No, you're not strange at all for experiencing that feeling, that's what I meant in my post when I said your diaphragm tighten's, contracts', you do get a pain in your chest or discomfort and good for you knowing how to get rid of it, by letting it out. I experienced the same, so I know what you mean.
Our dear Chris, I pray you and Mike had a peaceful Thanksgiving...your post to Anita is really touching, may God bless you!
Much love to all & ((Hugs))
Sandy


astarte1225
11/24/2006 12:21

Chris, dear sister that is the most precious thing anyone has ever said or done. I thank you and I will treasure your gesture.
After Kim's death I never thought I would have to go through that again. Josh helped me so much during that time. He made me see that Kim would not have wanted to live in a wheelchair due to the injuries she suffered and she would not want to live not knowing us.It took a 15 year old at the time to get me to look at things from Kim's stand on it.He also told me at that time that if he was ever faced with death and he could not be as he was at that time then he would make the same choice his sister did. And he did. He also made me promise at that time that I would let him go. I promised but I never thought it was one I would have to keep.
Love you all,
Anita


lask
11/24/2006 22:04

Jane what part of new jesery were you from?I hope everyone had a peaceful thanksgiving. It was just the four of us, My 2 grandsons, my husband and my self.All the others that said they would come didn't show and we didn't really care because we had each other and we ended up putting up the Christmas tree.This is the first year we ever did this.The boys are excited about it. Tyler , the youngest got his finger caught in the recliner some how and ended up with 2 stitches and no nail left on his thumb. He has a splint on it and it is all wrapped in an ace bandage.Thanksgiving Day when I was cooking I was crying because I missed my Ryan but when the boys wanted to put up the tree it took my mind off of him. I got this feeling that Christmas is going to be a tough one.Love to all and may the Lord be with you.
Lee Ann


jpot
11/24/2006 23:33

Hi All,
Just a quickie to say I had a great Thanksgiving. I was with all my sons, daughter-in-law, her mother and granddaughter. None of the exs showed up and there was just a spirit of freedom. We started laughing during grace and laughed all evening. By the way, Sandy, this time I did not eat too much. Nine days before Thanksgiving I was at a Thanksgiving dinner and did eat too much and felt so sick at night. I promised myself that I wouldn't do it again, especially since I had to be up early. I worked today and will again tomorrow so I'm beat! It was pretty nuts today and I expect the same tomorrow. The first ones in had to be there at 4:45 and they couldn't get into the door because of the crowds. They had to get mall security to escort them in. I didn't get in until 8:00 and it still took me about 10 minutes to get from the door to the elevator.

Lee Ann, I was born in Newark. When I was little I lived in Mattawan and Scotch Plains. When I was 8 I moved to Cologne and at 18 moved to Hamilton. At 19 I left home for good and settled in Chicago.

Chris, That was beautiful what you wrote to Anita.

Charlene, the reason I even brought the physical pain up is because I know that people have it and think only they have it. I'm glad you found a way to relieve yours. I couldn't swallow for about six months. I was wise enough to ask someone else who was going through the grief journey if she had that problem and she assured me she did and it would eventually go away. Even now, if I find my self stressed I have trouble swallowing. If I would have known of all the physical effects of grief I would have saved my self a lot of frustrating doctor visits. I just wanted to let the new people know this is part of the grief package. Also Charlene, please know that I am praying for you because I know your special dates are coming up.

Anita, that had to be a gut wrenching promise you had to keep to Josh. He sounds like he was very mature at the age of 15.

For a quickie, that was sure long enough! Good night all and have a great weekend! Love, Jane


lask
11/26/2006 00:58

Jane Mewark is only about 45 minutes away from where I am. I still like the country better. We have a trailer in Sussex and i like it up there better than where we are now. I would be up that way or some other state that reminds me of the country but the school is really great here and the boys are doing so well. matthew is a slow learner and this school is doing so much for him. He even made the honor roll all last year and is doing well this year too. Don't work too hard and rest when you can.

Lee Ann


havelost4
11/27/2006 08:25

Good morning all my dear sisters! Well, we made it THROUGH another Thanksgiving and almost through the month of November. Now we have December, the month of our Savior's birth, to look forward to. It's also a hard month for all of us because part of our family isn't with us. But there are some here that it will be doubly hard for because of anniversary dates during the month. Please keep ALL the dear sisters in your prayers this month; and especially the ones with special dates coming up. [My husband and I are going on a mini-vacation Nov.30th through Dec.2nd so I won't be online; I will read your posts when I get back.] MUCH love and (((HUGS))) to you all!
Charlene



Charlene (havelost4): (granddaughters) Casey Marie & Carey Grace Dec. 1, 2004(HD)
Margie (kimemandjakesmom): (stepdaughter) Casey Marie Dec. 1, 2004(HD)

Selva (selvam): Solange Dec. 7, 1981(BD)
Anita (astarte1225): Kimberly Dec. 7, 1998(HD)

Donna (arqt): Marcus Dec. 12, 2001(BD)

Jennifer (jhdanner): Aimee Nichole Dec. 20, 1992(BD)

Barbie (momcandoit): Garry Dec. 29, 1974(BD)



p.s. If I have omitted someone or have made an error please let me know.
Love to all,
Charlene


Shaner
11/27/2006 13:06

Hello Everyone,
Good for you & hubby dear Charlene for taking a mini-holiday, a change is as good as a rest as they say, so even if it's a mini one, it will do you good.
Yes, now we're entering into the Christmas season, although I try not to think about it till the very last. Just not the same anymore and never will be.
It'll be hard on those with special dates throughout the month and also our newly bereaved Moms who may be experiencing their 1st Christmas without their child with them. Another very painful 1st for them to get through, but always remember dear Moms, we love you, we care and we'll always be here for you.
Our dear Jane, I can just imagine how hectic it's been and will be from here on in, but please don't overdo it with extra hours, stick to your guns!
Our dear Kathy, did changing your tradition at Thanksgiving and going to the Aquariam with your youngest help you to get through Thansgiving in a less painful way? I pray so.
Lots of love to all & Hugs,
Sandy


connienevada
11/27/2006 16:16

Happy Holidays to you all. I am back at work and as some of you know, I have to use the computer at work, which is hard sometimes because I have to sneak to do it and because I cry sometimes while posting. My Thanksgiving was a blessed one.It started out sad that morning with just myself and I got uplifted when I picked up Derrick's son and we all went to my sister-in-law house for dinner. She wanted to do this for my daughter and me because I will have Christmas. After I blessed the food, everyone was in tears but after that, we all started talking about all of the good time we had as one big family. God prevailed and brought us all through it. My youngest grandchild came home with me that night and stayed until yesterday. He helped me put up all of the decorations and really kept me going (he’s 10) with all of the questions. My daughter, her husband, and the other grandchildren went to Kansas for the pop warner cheerleader competition. My granddaughter’s squad had the second highest honor. Next Monday, they all are flying to Orlando for the finals with cheerleaders from all over the US competing. They will be gone a week and they all are excited about it because for five years, they have tried to make it to the national. Serious business huh? Jane, I do have physical pain as well and thought it was coming with the age. :0) I know at work it occurs more often because I hold all the tears in and when I am on the phone no one can see me the tears were there. So I can relate to the physical pain. Charlene I see a special day is upcoming for you and I want to offer you my heartfelt prayers now in case I will not be able to on Friday. As you are well aware of, we are constantly in prayer for each other,and I will send up a prayer for you and your family that day. I hope the rest of you are doing fair to middling as well. I will try to post again one day this week. In the meantime, all of you moms, BE BLESSED.


KPETERSEN
11/27/2006 17:18

Thank you all for your comfort

We . . . comfort those who are in any trouble, with the comfort with
which we ourselves are comforted by God.
2 Corinthians 1:4

Recommended Reading
2 Corinthians 1:3-7

One day when Earl McQuay was a professor at Columbia International
University, he received an emergency call. The news was devastating. His
son, Tim, had been in a terrible wreck.

After Tim's death, Dr. McQuay wrote of the experience in a poignant
little book, Beyond Eagles: A Father's Grief and Hope. He said: "Only
someone who has experienced such a loss, we have found, is able to
understand the agony of grief. Once in a while, we meet someone who has
experienced a similar heartbreak, and we sense a certain kinship with them. It
appears that we have become members of what someone has called 'the
fraternity of the bereaved.'"

Through testimony, book, speaking engagements, and personal
interaction, Dr. McQuay has had many opportunities to comfort others with the
comfort he himself received.

We each have our own set of hardships in life; and whenever you face
any sorrow, you become a member of a fraternity. Parents of prodigals,
for example. Or cancer sufferers. Or those who struggle with addictions.
Or those who have buried a child.

There is a purpose in it all, and your hurt isn't wasted; it can
provide balm for someone else's healing.


God does not waste suffering . . . If He plows, it is because He
purposes a crop.
Isobel Kuhn


havelost4
11/27/2006 19:41

Thank you Kathy for your post about comfort. That verse has become a favorite of mine since our grandson was stillborn in 1989. A couple of years later a young couple in our church had a baby who was born with a congenital defect (the same that our grandson had) and was unable to live but a few hours. I was able to share this verse with them and tell them that God used it to comfort me and He would comfort them too. That gave me such peace to share His comfort with them. Thank you for sharing that with us!
Love and (((HUGS))),
Charlene


havelost4
11/27/2006 19:46

Connie, I'm glad you had a good day Thanksgiving. I'm sorry you have to post at work and hold in your tears while you do it. It's so hard to do sometimes when I post here. Thank you in advance for your prayers; I'm already excited about 'going away' for a couple of days so that's taken away some of the dread of the day coming up. I was afraid that the grandkids would be upset that we're not 'treating' them to the arcade again this year but their families already have plans for that day. That was a relief to me; the old guilt about not pleasing everybody was creeping in and now it's GONE. Thank God. I'll be praying that your computer gets fixed or else you'll get a new one soon.
Love and (((HUGS))),
Charlene


selvam
11/27/2006 21:33

Hi all my dear Angel sisters. I just came back from NY last night, I want all of you to know that you were all in my prayers specially Thanksgiving day for I know how hard those special days are for all of us, Thank God its over and pretty soon the rest of the Holidays will be over too, December will be very hard on us and for those of us who have special dates will be even harder but I know that with all our prayers we will survive another year. I have not been able to read all the posts, I had to work late today but I promise I will catch up soon. I really missed our Circle of Love, this is the only place where I feel safe and understood. Please know that all of you are in my daily prayers. My love to all. Selva


jpot
11/27/2006 22:33

Hi All,
Sorry I was MIA for several days. On Saturday I was rushed to the hospital via paramedics (from work) and just got released tonight. I woke up Saturday with some type of stomach virus and became dehydrated. I worked for 1 1/2 hr and knew I needed medical help right away. When the paramedics arrived they immediately knew I wasn't breathing right. I discovered that being dehydrated can cause an asthma attack. In the last few days I have had lots of fluid via IV along with antibotics. I'm not going to work tomorrow (Tues) but will have to go back on Wed, can't afford to loose too many hours. So I ask for prayer that my body bounces back quickly. Every month I walk a fine line of making too much money to stay on disability and not making enough to pay bills. This month will be especially hard because of Christmas. I know my ultimate Provider is God, so this is just another chance to trust Him. Gotta go know cuz I'm so weak. You have all been in my prayers. Love, Jane


Shaner
11/28/2006 14:57

Hi my dear sister! You know I'm happy you had a week's vacation, but it sure is nice to see you here again, at our Circle of Love! Yes, your Thanksgiving is over, but the hardest part, the month of December is coming up shortly and yes again with prayer, love and support, we'll all get through it.
A big, warm welcome back,
Love you my dear sister, Hugs too,
Sandy


Shaner
11/28/2006 15:14

Oh, our dear Jane! So sorry sweetie that you were hospitalized and so sick! Having a stomach bug and not being able to keep anything down is a sure-fire way to get badly dehydrated and working on top of it.
Yes, I pray the Divine Physician touch's you and restore's your health and the Holy Spirit give's you discernment over that fine line to walk,
Lots of love & Hugs,
Sandy


LOVE2U
11/28/2006 21:11

Hi Everyone, ~ It's good to be back and see that those who have posted made it through Thanksgiving holiday OK. I had a very peaceful Thanksgiving and the food was great. We had dinner at my sister's and I was able to stay a little longer than I did last year. We pulled names after dinner, just as we do every year, and no one knows who their Secret Santa is until we exchange gifts on Christmas Day. :) I can't stay on long because of drs. orders, but will try to catch up on back posts soon. As always, my prayers are ongoing for all. Charlene, thanks for posting the December dates! :)
Love & Angel Hugs,
Verna


astarte1225
11/29/2006 21:03

Charlene dear sister,
I'm posting tonight for your special day. I pray that God gives you peace,comfort and wonderful memories of your Casey and Carey.
Good for you and your husband getting away for a few days. Relax and enjoy yourselves.
My thoughts and prayers are with you.
Love you sis.
Anita


astarte1225
11/29/2006 21:10

Dear Margie,
I'm posting for you too tonight for your special day as I may not be able to post that day.I pray that God gives you comfort and warm memories to sustain you.
My thoughts and prayers are with you.
Love, Anita


jpot
11/30/2006 00:12

Hi All,
Charlene, I don't know if you will check this before you leave, but know that I am praying for you and your family. I pray your mini holiday will bring you much needed rest and relaxation. I pray you will feel the peace and presence of God. I also pray for you joy and laughter.

Sandy, thank you for your kind words. I went back to work today and except being a bit weak felt fine. My boss really finally understands my medical condition and has cut my hours. He told me that he wanted me around for a long time and if I could only give him 25 hrs a week, it's ok. Everyone at work was so cool to me (cool meaning great). I had people lifting boxes and doing the heavy work even though they were not part of my department.

Connie, I am so glad your Thanksgiving went well. I pray your computer at home will soon be repaired or replaced.

Kathy, I never got a chance to thank you for your comforting post. Those verses also mean a lot to me. I never knew who originated the phrase God doesn't waste our suffering, but I have used it often.

Lee Ann, I lived in the farm belt, in fact lived on a farm for 10 years. It's still hard for me at times to be in a produce section and see the how old the produce is.

Selva, it is good to see you back. I hope your were able to enjoy yourself in New York.

Well guys I'm going to follow drs orders and get to bed early. I pray for all to have a good night's sleep. Love to all, Jane


havelost4
11/30/2006 11:31

Thank you Anita and Jane for your prayers; I feel like I'm really going to need them more than ever. Our trip has been cancelled due to the ice on the roads; we can't even get through on the telephone to cancel the reservations we had--I guess no one down there even made it to work because of the ice. I've cried so much this morning that I have a bad headache now; I SO much did NOT want to spend tomorrow by myself! God knows where I am and what I need; if you could all ask Him to give me peace and comfort that would help a lot. Thanks.
Charlene


KPETERSEN
11/30/2006 18:28

Dear Charlene,
I am so sorry. I can hear your emotion. My heart, prayers, thoughts are all with you. You are right, God knows where you are and what you need and I know that he will provide all you need and then some to get through this time. Lord, please hold our dear sister Charlene, she is hurting so much and needs your comfort Lord. I lift her to you and place her in your hands, please give her comfort, warmth, strength, love and peace. In your precious name Lord. Amen
You are in my prayers Charlene
Kathy

 
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