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Shane Whalen
This Prayer Circle is Dedicated to my son Shane Whalen Who Passed Away On March 15, 1999 at the Age of 24, & All Other Children


Start a prayer circle for bereaved parents who have lost a child.


There are many of us out there who have lost a child, and it is devastating. It changes the outlook on life, plunges you into a depression, and you think that the feelings and thoughts you have nobody else could possibly relate to. I think a prayer circle for bereaved parents would only benefit us and help us on our journey of grief. This Circle is one of Love, where a Grieving Parent can safely come to for Prayers, and to talk about their feelings.

 
Shaner -10/14/2000
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KPETERSEN
10/27/2006 18:38

Wanted to wish you all a great, restful and blessed weekend. I will be praying for each of you that the Lord bless you in ways that you need.

Heavenly visitors are "Heavenly". I have had a few good visits, glad you all have too, I don't feel so weird!
CONNIE
I think that our boys are very much alike. I was mistaken as Wes's older woman a few times and he would always tell his friends " My Mom is off limits!" or " Don't be looking at my Mom!" I'll bet they are great friends.
My prayers are with you dear sister, I feel your pain. Please take very good care of yourself this weekend.
SELVA
I knew you would know about Heavenly visitors, I have a few feathers too. We are all going to need extra prayers as the holidays arrive, I join Charlene in prayers for many people who love you to surround you. I sometimes wish we could all meet each other. That would be awesome. Love and peace to you.
CHARLENE
That is the giddy feeling I am talking about. You know it is Heaven sent. That feeling is just beyond words. Have a great weekend and thank you for your prayers!
Love to you all,
Kathy

Kathy



Love to you all Sisters
Kathy








KPETERSEN
10/27/2006 18:41

well duh!!! I must remember to proof read!


jpot
10/28/2006 00:53

To All,
I have been one of those MIAs. Life has all of a sudden become very hectic. Almost every morning I am awakened by someone at my door. I have a very needy neighbor that has kept me busy most of my free time. Today I took her to the local rescue mission so she could get a winter coat for herself and son. Then took her shopping, then to her son's old apartment to pick up his belongings. She doesn't have a car, and even if she did she could not afford the gas. I racking my brain trying to find the resources available to her in our community just so she can get the bare essentials. I only have a limited income source and can't personally do more for her. Then there is a man living in our basement illegally. He has a huge drinking problem and the other night I found him in a drunken stupor. Now he's missing. Those of us with cars have been looking for him. To say life is a little crazy right now is an understatement!
This is just to let everyone know I am definitely praying for all, however I can't find the time to post to everyone. I pray everyone has a restful weekend. Connie, I have been praying for Officer Wood's family. I just heard they arrested someone tonight. So sad.
Love to all, Jane


arqt
10/28/2006 14:33

Yes Sandy, I'm still alive. hehe!
Finally got some meds for the depression, been on them about a week now. The RX actually came from the kidney doctor, so as not to have to spend a lot of money going to a different doc. I guess you'll be glad to hear that the kidney disease seems to be stable for now!!! hooray!!!
I've had a slight set-back. An "old" friend, that I had lost touch with, is back in my life. No fault of hers, but we were pregnant together, and seeing her youngest son, (born one month before Marcus) sometimes it just makes me wonder.....
I guess seeing the child born just before Marcus, seems to have started my anxiety about his b-day in Dec, a little early this year. As I said, it's no fault of hers, and I haven't said anything to her about it, but it is hard not to wonder what Marcus would look like if he were still here. Does that make sense?
I have to ashamedly admit, I've come and read some, and seeing so many new members, and reading sometimes just made my heart ache so much, I couldn't find the energy to post. Maybe I'll get it all back together now, once the meds kick in.
It's so wonderful to see all the prayers, from regulars and so many from "lurkers"! God is GOOD!
This circle has been such a blessing in my life. God Bless those of you who are strong enough to keep it going!


jpot
10/28/2006 14:57

Dear Donna,
It is so good to see you back. I understand the pain you feel when you read some of the posts. We feel much more deeply for those who are new to our circle because it puts us in touch with our own pain. I also understand your "setback." I recently met a young woman named Elizabeth who was about the same age my Elizabeth would have been. Even after all these years there was still a twinge in my heart, wondering what my baby would have looked like or her what was her personality.

Meds usually take three weeks to be fully effective so you're dong pretty good in just one week. I'm so glad you were willing to get medical help for your depression. I am possitive meds saved my life (along with God who would not let me kill myself). I was on them I think for 13 years and have been off over 3 yrs. I is also so great to hear your kidneys are stable. You are often in my prayers and I will try to remember you every day through December. All of us need extra prayer covering during the holidays, but those who also have special dates need it especially more. Right now I know that you, Lee Ann and Charlene fit into this group. If there are anymore please let me know. I'm already praying for you three. Love, Jane


jpot
10/28/2006 15:04

To All,
I just heard that Thursday afternoon two more children were taken in car accidents in my area. Both were teenage girls. Someone from my church is friends with one of the girl's family. They are a strong Christian family and now are undergoing the same question we all had. Why did God allow this? I don't know anything about the other family. But let's keep these families in prayer. Love, Jane


arqt
10/28/2006 15:14

Oh my! Looking over the list, we have several special days, during the holidays. Along with Charlene, Margie mustn't be forgotten. Selva has a b-day in Dec. Anita also has a h-day in Dec. There are several others.
Holidays are hard on everyone, I think? For some, you have cherished memories of past holidays, and for others, we have all the holidays we never even got a chance to spend with our beloved children. For me, having that special Christmas gift, in 2001, well, the holidays just don't seem as bright now, without him. As Selva can relate, when it's the only child.
I really hope to be more active. I just know from past experience, I tend to be a basket case from about Thanksgiving, until Marcus' h-day in Feb. Ooh! That almost sounds selfish! I guess you can all relate. I have days when I feel stronger, then some trivial occurance just slaps me in the face, and I'm down again. It's just been strange lately, with my friend coming back into my life. We worked together, and shared so much during our pregnancies. I guess it's almost like watching Marcus' 'brother' when I see her son.
I'm trying to catch up on all the posts, I'm sooo far behind. Guess it's a good thing I can just read and don't have to be worried about not 'hearing' something! (Charlene should catch that one!)

Love You ALL!
Donna


havelost4
10/28/2006 21:02

Oh Jane, it sounds like you have had a very busy schedule lately! You are such a good samaritan; it takes a special person to do what you're doing. A lot of people would just close their doors and let others fend for themselves. I'm glad you're reaching out, though; it's a good feeling isn't it?
Two more deaths; and so young. There's just too much of that! And it seems that the closer the holidays get, the more there are. I think our #1 enemy does that to try to get us distracted from Christmas and Who it is about. And, of course, I don't have the answer as to why God allows it to happen. The families will be in my prayers. One good thing about this 'illness' that I have is that I have more time to spend at home praying.

Hey Donna!!
It's good to hear from you again! I went through a slump the past couple of months but I think my 'concoction' for my joints is clearing my brain and also giving me more energy. It helps that I'm eating only 'whole foods' too and not eating anything canned or from a restaurant. It's a pain to go back to cooking from scratch but I feel like it's working for me. I hope you get to feeling better soon! Yes, that would be hard seeing your friend's son after all this time. Just take a deep breath and let the tears come if they start. She, being a friend, would surely understand; if not, WE DO. And yes, I 'get' the 'hearing' hint. What have you been up to lately (besides nothing)? HaHa (hint-hint)

To all:
I'm going to post the November special dates on Monday so be looking for them. There are 4 for Nov. and 7 for Dec.; but I probably won't post for Dec. until right after Thanksgiving.

Jane, do you not have a complete list of Special Dates? Anyone who doesn't have one, let me know and I can email you one.

I've got to go; I just found out that some of the grandkids are coming tomorrow for Halloween instead of getting out Tues. on a school night. Now grandma has to get busy and bake the cookies I was going to bake on Monday. I'll be checking back before I go to bed, but I probably won't be able to post again tonight.

Lots of love and prayers for all!
Charlene


jpot
10/29/2006 01:37

Dear Charlene,
I did find the list in my in-box. When you first sent it my printer was out of ink. I just made a copy along with the additions and printed it for myself.

Yes, my days have been hectic. In my little "housing community" I think I'm the only one in stable emotional/mental health. AND I'M THE ONLY ONE SEEING A THERAPIST! We're just one big dsyfunctional family here. My landlord owns three buildings which are close in proximity. There are 4 rooms in my house that are rented out (however 2 are empty), plus the man in the basement. She lives next door and rents 2 rooms in her basement, and has two apartments upstairs. Around the corner there is a house that has 4 rooms rented (I only know one person from that house). My biggest problem right now is that my landlord, who is my friend, and goes to my church is on the verge of a total breakdown. She's pretty demanding of my time and I get to hear about everything. I insisted she get professional help this week. I pray she does. She has some major anger issues. I knew that I had to set boundaries with the other tenants, but I was unprepared for the boundaries I needed with her. I have a hard time insisting that she keep my boundaries. She is so used to being in charge, she can't hear when I say I just can't talk. Today I was late for work because she wouldn't stop talking. Finally I just had to tell her I was hanging up. Oh well, enough of my venting. What I need now is some sleep and thank God we get an extra hour tonight! Love, Jane


havelost4
10/29/2006 09:30

Jane, I just read your post and it sounds like God has prepared you all your life to be just where you are. I'll add your landlady to my prayer list; and add that you would be strong and have wisdom to know when and how to set the boundaries with her. I hope that you had a good night's rest; I've been doing so much more because I've had more energy and my muscles hurt from not using them in a while. Other than that, I'm enjoying sunshine today on a beautiful Lord's day. Enjoy your day today!
Love and prayers,
Charlene


LOVE2U
10/30/2006 07:05

Hello everyone, itís been a while since I've posted but I've been catching up on reading back post so I am cognitive of all you've shared here including prayer requests. Thanks to all who have not lost a child but took the time to post a prayer and other words of compassion and support. We really do appreciate your thoughtfulness. Thanks to all for keeping me in your prayers. We will storm heaven with prayer for the upcoming holidays. From reading back posts, I think we all agree that each of us should deal with the holidays in our own way, according to what's best for each of us and not according to the expectations of others. I smile when I say that because each year I end up taking part in our traditional family Thanksgiving dinner at my sister Pearl's house, now that Ma Dear is no longer with us, and the Christmas "Tho Down" at the Clay's. Ha-ha! Nevertheless, I always manage to find a quiet place where I can get away from everything. After forming a circle and joining hands for our family prayer, led by our pastor, who is my nephew, or my son-in-law, each family member shares his/her favorite bible verse, and then ... "Dig in Y'all, Ö which is when the fun begins! If I can find them on my computer, I'm going to email photos of last year's Christmas "Tho Down" Dinner at the Clays. :) Trust me when I tell you there is nothing formal about Christmas Dinner at our house. Ha-ha! Everyone serves themselves and we are all over the house ... just like did in days gone by! :) Traditionally, we draw names after our Thanksgiving Dinner at Pearlís & we find out who our Secret Santa is when we exchange gifts after dinner. Through it all, though itís never mentioned ... We are mindful of that empty chair Ö Well, that little walk down memory lane has given me a few fond/bitter/sweet memories to ponder, so I think I'd better sign off and try to get some much needed rest! For each of you ... I pray that God will fill your heart and mind with lots of fond memories, peace, love, and unexpected joy throughout the up coming holidays.
Love & Angel Hugs,
Verna [aka Miss V.] :)


havelost4
10/30/2006 19:14

SPECIAL DATES LIST (for November):

Lee Ann (lask): Ryan Nov. 5, 2005(HD)

Sue (sue64): Gary Nov. 11, 1985(BD)

Imelda (adamshanesmom): Shane Nov. 17, 2004(HD)

Yvonne (dovesfromheaven): Joseph(Joe) Nov. 20, 1999(HD)



I'm so sorry that I'm just now posting this. My youngest daughter had a broken tooth and I'm watching her 3 children (and tomorrow too).

Love and prayers to you all!
Charlene


selvam
10/30/2006 21:34

Hi all my dear sisters. Donna it is so good to hear from you again my dear sister, so glad that you are taking some meds for depression, I have been taking it since Solange left, and it does help, i just couldn't face this without it, and your kidneys are doing better, ay my dear sister, I understand (I'm sure we all do) the way you feel about your friend and his son, it is very normal for us to feel that way, and it is not selfish, it is just too sad, I feel the same way, when I see Solange's friends getting maried, when my co workers tell me they are going to have grandkids, I just want to run away even though I feel happy for them, like I said before, this is a very complicated pain and a very lonely road.
Dear Jane you sure are a terrific human being, taking care of your neighbors and trying to help others, that is just what God wants us all to do, I am sure that He is very proud of you, I am too for having you as a friend and sister.
MS V. my dear sister, how are you "really doing?" are you following doctor's orders? yes, I know the answer, as much as you can right? Take care my dear sister, and rest, we understand if you don't post as much as you want to, you will get to that soon, if you keep up the good work of taking care of yourself.
Dear Charlene Thank you so much again and again for keeping that precious list of special days, it really means a lot to all of us, even when you are not feeling well you try to post and give us a lift, God bless you my dear sister.
Kathy I hope you had a good weekend, and wish you many many more Heavenly visits, it is a wonderful feeling knowing that our kids are happy and just waiting for us to embrace and kiss them and love them forever.
My dear sisters, I have a prayer request, our dear Angel in Chief Sandy is feeling a little under the weather, as you know we all have those bad days, specially when the Holidays are starting to creep on us, please join me in prayers so that our dear sister starts to feel better and that our Lord gives her the strenght she needs right now and lift her out of the Valley. My love and prayers are with you all. Selva


connienevada
10/30/2006 22:47

Hello all of my beautiful angel moms. Selva good hear from you again, your holidays sounds my crew. Always full of love and cheers. We do the same thing with the grab bags because the family is so huge and every one does not have that kind of money. I like to make things for people. I use my creativity a lot. This year's holidays will be stressful because on of that one empty seat, that one smile that is always placed on the face. This too shall pass and I will be strong for everyone that will be together. Jane your habitat sounds interesting. I wish we did not live so far because I read the post where you took this one man to look for a coat. I have so many of my son's things I have not given away and I know soon, that chore will be done.I see you have one of the spiritual gifts that I have, the gift of Helps. Jane you keep doing what you are doing just to get that warm fuzzy feeling of helping others less fortunate. I think thats why we all are so special. We have that special gift and our angels are up there cheering us all on. Telling us not to give up, not to stop what we have been doing and keeping doing what God has commissioned all of us here to do on this earth until He calls all of us home. KATHY, you are right, I bet our sons are really hanging together. They are too much alike. I pray they all are together, in a big circle with all of us in the middle. Charlene thank you again for the dates, you never let us down do you. A special prayer goes out to our fearless leader and let us all lift her up in prayer. Sandy, this is for you, I pray that God will place His loving arms around. To ease your burdens and let your depression, pain, or whatever ailing you come out of your body into His. He will not give us no more than what we can bear and since the holidays are coming us, He will take all of us in His arms and carry us. Just like "Footprints", the one set of footprints we see will be our God carry us through our trials and tribulations. Glory Be To God. He is an awesome God and I thank Him, I thank Him for this circle, for friends like all of you, sisters that cares, sisters that have gone through what you have gone through. Thank you for all the sisters that are there to uplift each and every one of us. Thank you God, if there's nothing else I can say I thank God I can say thank you for today, tomorrow, and whatever you see fit for us all. God Bless Sandy, and may He Bless the rest of my sisters. Love you all - Connie


astarte1225
10/31/2006 11:23

Dear Sisters,
I am so sorry if I worried you by not posting as I should be. I have been so busy with school and all my other projects that I haven't had time to do much of anything. But I have had time to think of you all and pray for you everyday.
Ariel the girl I asked you all to pray for is home walking,talking she is expected to make a full recovery.Thank the Good Lord for that.
In looking over some of the back posts I noticed we have some new members. I warmly welcome you all to this circle of love and understanding.
Selva dear sister,I am also still praying for you and Nancy.
Sandy and Jane, thank you for caring.
Also will all of you please send me your e-mail address? Mine is
acallahan1260@earthlink.net
Love you all,Anita


KPETERSEN
10/31/2006 12:54

So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
Isaiah 41:10
Heavenly Father, I ask that you comfort my friend Sandy. Help her be strong Lord. Surround her with love and peace this day and all the days after. You know above all what our pain is like. Only you can sooth our hurts completely. Lord, I pray that Sandy feel the love of You, Shane and this circle and she is able to carry on one more time....
Love you sister,
Kathy


jpot
11/1/2006 11:24

Hi Dear Sisters,
I'm so mad, yesterday I wrote a long post to catch everyone up and then beliefnet went down and it didn't post. Don't have much time now cuz I have to work, but wanted everyone to know that I'm praying for them. Kathy, that is one of my favorite verses. Thank you everyone for your encouraging words. This week is also hectic, but is slowing down some (I hope). Love to all, Jane


arqt
11/1/2006 12:19

The Holiday Bill of Rights for Those Who are Grieving

1. You have the right to say TIME OUT, anytime you need to. Time out to let up, blow a little steam, step away from the holidays, have a "huddle" time and start over.

2. You have a right to TELL IT LIKE IT IS when people ask, How are you? You have a right to tell them how you REALLY feel, not just what they want to hear.* You need to take care of yourself. Be attuned to your feelings. (*P.S. You also have the right to smile and say you're fine, because telling them how you really feel, isn't worth your time - some people will never understand anyway)

3. You have the right to SOME "BAH HUMBUG" DAYS. You don't have to be "Jolly Old St. Nicholas" all the time. You are not a bad person just because you don't feel like singing Christmas carols all day.

4. You have the right to DO THINGS DIFFERENTLY. There is no law that says you must always do Chanukkah and Christmas the same way. You can send 10 cards instead of 100 -- or no cards at all. You can open presents at somebody else's house. You can do without a tree. You can have a pizza instead of turkey! - the list is endless.

5. You have the right to BE WHERE YOU WANT TO BE. Be at home, or at the relatives or with friends. Be in any city, any state you choose! NOBODY SAID YOU HAVE TO HAVE SNOW TO HAVE CHRISTMAS. There's no law that says you must stay home!

6. You have the right to have SOME FUN. Don't be afraid of what someone will say if they see you laughing and having a good time. Laughter is every bit as therapeutic as tears. If you are doing something that your loved one would have also enjoyed, think of their laughter and feel their laughter inside of you. 7. You have the right to CHANGE DIRECTION IN MID-STREAM. Grief is unpredictable. You may be all ready to go somewhere or do something and be suddenly overwhelmed, immobilized. When that happens it's okay to change your mind.

8. You have the right to DO THINGS AT DIFFERENT TIMES. Go to church or synagogue at a different time. Open presents at a different time. Serve your meal at a different time. Give up and go to bed at a different time. Don't be a slave to the holiday clock.

9. You have a right to REST, PEACE, and SOLITUDE. You don't need to be busy all the time. Take a nap whenever you need one. Take time to pray and meditate to recharge your spirit, it can do you much more good than eating another huge meal.

10. You have the right TO DO IT ALL DIFFERENT AGAIN NEXT YEAR. Just because you change things one year: try on something different, does not mean you have written it in stone. Next year, you can always change it back or do it, in yet, another new way.

© 1992 Bruce H. Conley


KPETERSEN
11/1/2006 13:06

Dear Donna,
I just absolutely love that!! I am printing it out and putting on my fridge so I can read it all the time and remind myself....it is ok not to do EVERYTHING and do EVERTHING the way others want you too or think you should!! Thank you!
God Bless,
Kathy


havelost4
11/1/2006 14:00

THANK YOU DONNA!! That was very timely and I'm also going to print it out and put it up where I can see it every day through the holidays. Thank you SO much; and I just want to say again that it's good to hear from you!

I already feel less 'loaded' by realizing that I don't have to do what everyone else expects me to do, or do what I've always done in the past. Now I actually feel like having Thanksgiving here.

Anita, it's good to hear from you again; sorry things are so hectic, it's that time of year again. I'm so glad that Ariel is doing better! Sometimes God answers our prayers the way we want Him to and sometimes He doesn't. Thank Him and praise Him that He did this time.

I sent Sandy an e-card. I pray that she's resting and taking good care of herself.

I've been trying to get onto the beliefnet site all morning but just now got in. It's good to be back 'home' to 'listen' to everyone again. You are all very much welcome for the Special Dates List. It's simple for me to do and I don't mind doing it at all. If any of you have any suggestions, just feel free to let me know.

Love and prayers to you all!
Charlene


Shaner
11/1/2006 14:59

Hello all my fellow sisters, AngelMoms,
As our dear Selva posted I'm going through a depression right now and can't seem to come out of it. Today is a fairly good new and I thank God for it and all your beautiful prayers. I've been on the same anti-depressant for 6 year's now, at the maximum dose, so I'm just wondering if my body has become so used to it that it just isn't working anymore. I don't know. You all know what it's like to be in that black hole, I even have trouble praying, I just keep asking God to hold onto me and don't let go. I have an appt. with my Dr. on Friday, so I feel hopeful about that.
I am SO grateful for your prayers and Charlene, I loved the beautiful Card, that was so nice of you - all of you are a blessing to me and special sisters.
I may be MIA for a few more day's until I can get a grip on this, but please keep your prayers up, I can definitely feel them. God bless each and everyone, I love you all,
Sandy


connienevada
11/1/2006 17:40

Angel Moms, I am asking for all yours prayers right this minute.Two 16yrs old angels lost their lives last night in a car accident. These angels were the best friend of my granddaughter,my son's daughter. In fact, they were at his funeral and repast to support my granddaughter. Be prayerful because its so many of our young angels dying every week in car accidents. I had to send this before I went to Bible Study and when I come back, I will read the rest of the post. Love you all. Connie


havelost4
11/1/2006 20:46

SANDY, I'm glad you were able to post; just rest and relax, put on some soothing or uplifting music and let yourself feel God's arms holding you. Friday will be here before you know it and hopefully your dr. will be able to help you.

CONNIE, my heart aches for these two families and for your granddaughter. They are all added to my prayer list. This adds 2 more moms who will have a hard time through the holidays. God, please help them!
That's all I can say right now.
Love,Charlene


selvam
11/1/2006 21:12

My dear dear sister Sandy. Just relax, pamper youself, do nothing or do whatever you want, we all know the feeling , I am sure that after you visit your doctor you will start to feel better, but in the meantime, just take it easy and know that all of us are storming Heaven with prayers, and prayers work, and God will lift you out of the Valley my dear sister. My prayers and love are with you 24/7. Selva

 
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