Prayer Circles

My Dear Charlene,
I'm so sorry to hear of your husband's accident. You must have been so frightened by the "what ifs", no wonder all the tears. I thank God he was protected, How is he feeling today? I am praying you will see good come from this. I'm also praying your nerves are calmer now and you can rest. You are so LOVED!
Jane

Dear Connie,
I haven't had a chance to to drop you a note before this. I was so excited to read about the memorial service for Derrick. I told my daughter-in-law about the video and she had goose bumps. How awesome is our God!

It's been a week now, so I'm praying for extra strength and grace for you. That "let down" feeling has probably begun. Father God, I pray you take my sister Connie and surround her with your Love. I pray she feels you in a very personal way. I pray she knows You're walking beside her during her valley days to bring her to Your mountain top.

Thank you Connie for the recipe. Haven't had a chance to try it yet, but I have a pot luck to attend next week, so maybe I'll try it then. You and I cook the same way. I think we were taught the old school way, watch someone cook to learn. Who measures? I just want you to know that today you are being lifted up and are loved very much. Love, Jane

Hey Sandy, I see that you are still here helping others while dealing with your own loss. I really admire your strength and willingness to help others. I hope you are well. I am doing weel and my family is also doing well. I think of you often and still visit Jason's(Ward) memorial site, but not as often. I stay very busy and try to keep moving ahead even though the past memories creep in often. It's been over 5 and a half years and it never seems much easier, just empty, like something is unfinished. I don't know if you can relate to that. I will visit Shane's memorial today as well. I wish you and your family well. God Bless everyone on this prayer circle and may this circle help ease your pain. Thank-you Sandy, Love, Babbs

I recently lost my son, I'm exhausted from the pain. I'm not sure I want to go on. I am trying to be strong, but I feel as though a piece of me is missing and it's impossible to live without it. I misss my 17 year old son. I miss my Taylor. Here is his story:
http://taylorburgstahler.memory-of.com/about.aspx

Dear Lisa (azsummer2003),
I just finished viewing the website about your Taylor; he did appear to be a wonderful son to you. No wonder you feel such loss; so many things going 'wrong' at once. We all wish we could go back and 're-do' our last moments with our much loved children/grandchildren; but we are left behind to try to go on in a world that doesn't understand, therefore it seems that they don't care. Let me tell you that the ladies here in this prayer circle (I call it my healing circle) really DO care because they really DO understand! I've never lost a child but the pain from losing my 2 granddaughters (ages 10 and 12) in a car wreck on Dec. 1, 2004 is still painful to think about. I also lost 2 grandsons in 1989 but I didn't allow myself to grieve for them until we lost the granddaughters. If not for the ladies/sisters here on this prayer circle, I don't know if I would be alive today. They are God-sent to each of us that finds our way here. Be patient and you will eventually hear from all of them--Sandy, Selva, Verna, Anita, Jane, Kathy, Donna, Connie, and many others that post only ocassionally. You keep posting and venting about your feelings here and you will find such love that you never imagined you would again feel after your Taylor was gone. I'll tell you what Sandy has told all of us--you just listen to your body and rest when you need to rest; you are new in your journey of grief so be patient with yourself and go at your own pace. Above all be kind to yourself, take it easy and be good to yourself, pamper yourself right now so you have the energy to get through each moment, each hour, each day. OF COURSE a piece of you is missing! That's why I love a necklace that I have--it's a heart with a teardrop hole in the middle of it. Part of your heart has been torn out and you will NEVER be the same because of it. I appreciate what Jane has written: your heart won't always feel raw and bleeding, but eventually you will have a scar instead of a raw place in your heart. I'll email all the ladies here and pass on your information to them so they can post here for you.
Love and prayers to you!
Grandma Charlene
Baby boy: 2-25-89 (adopted 3-89)
Michael: 3-27-89 (stillborn)
Casey Marie: 1-7-92 to 12-1-04
Carey Grace: 3-18-94 to 12-1-04
http://mylovelygarden.com/2beautifulgirls.html

Anita, thank you for your advice. I think that I'm crying too because we attended 2 funerals within the past 8 days. Both people were in their 70s but it was still a sudden loss, one a neighbor and one a former teacher; and I cry more easily than I used to. (Maybe that's a good thing.) :o)
I am SO thankful that my husband is okay that I can't keep from smothering him whenever he's around me. He will get tired of that soon I'm sure because he is one who needs 'his space'. :o)
Jane, he's feeling very sore today especially on his left side where he hit the door of his truck as it fell on its side into the ditch. And at the funeral that we attended today it seems that EVERYONE would either hit him or grab him on his left shoulder.
Thank you all for your concern and for your prayers!
Love, Charlene

Lisa: I am so sorry for the loss of your dear Taylor. After looking at the website and hearing what his friend said about his love for all kinds of music, I'm certain he and my angel Kristina are good friends now. Kristina died in 2001 at the age of 20. She was an old soul to be sure, and her love of music led us to form "Soar with the angels" which incorporates rock music into fund raising for the Leukemia Society. I know how much you miss him... he sounds like an awsome son. If you care to, you can look at www.kristinasmemorial.com and www.soarwiththenagels.com . Please be kind to yourself and take one day at a time. You have friends here always.
Cindy
Krissy's Mom

Hi dear AngelMom Lisa, (azsummer2003) I just spent about 45 min.'s at your amazing website in honor of your beloved and much-loved Taylor! Yes, the music, he and my Shane must be swapping song's and listening to the beautiful music together with Cindy's Kristina. Your precious Taylor was someone who 'got it' early, another old soul as Cindy said. Shane also had 'got it', the only real, true thing in this World of our's is love and not caring whether it's cool or not to be kind to other's.
I and all the other Moms here know how your heart is broken and how you don't know if you can go on, I prayed every night for the first year or so that God would bring me home too, I did not want to be here without my son, my buddy, but I'm thankful now, after 7 yrs., that He was wiser than I and ignored my prayers. You're in that gawdawful 24/7 pain and grief right now, you feel as though your heart has been ripped from your chest and your pain is so raw and biting, some day's you don't even feel like getting out of bed, it's an effort just to get up and get dressed. You wonder how the world can go on, don't they realize that it's different now, that you are weighed down under your pain and grief now that your much-loved Taylor is gone? I felt that way in the beginning, but I gradually learned that they didn't, only another Mom who has gone through this truly unnderstand's the pain and change's that happen. I wish you a warm welcome to this Circle of Love, I know how much you wish you didn't belong here as we all do, but there is strength in numbers. One day (and I know you won't believe me right now, I didn't when other Moms told me this) your pain won't be 24/7, you'll smile at the sound of Taylor's name instead of feeling pain and crying, but that take's time and a lot of it, your time, nobody else's. For now though, you have to walk through the fire, but you don't have to do it alone, we are all here to support you, understand you, love you, and be that ear you need and walk alongside you in your grief Journey as well. This is a very safe haven for Moms, Parents, you can freely talk here and never be judged, your feeling's are always honored here as well as your Belief system. This Circle is an inter-faith one, all Belief's are honored here too.
I'm so sorry sweetie that you're in so much pain right now, but remember, Love is Eternal, it's the only emotion that really matter's and your love for Taylor and his for you is a bond that death cannot break.
Here is a Link to your Taylor's Memorial Site: TAYLOR
Please come back and post here again, I look forward to it when you're ready,
Much love, prayers & Angel Hugs,
Sandy
Mom of Shane

Hi dear AngelMom Lisa, (azsummer2003) I just spent about 45 min.'s at your amazing website in honor of your beloved and much-loved Taylor! Yes, the music, he and my Shane must be swapping song's and listening to the beautiful music together with Cindy's Kristina. Your precious Taylor was someone who 'got it' early, another old soul as Cindy said. Shane also had 'got it', the only real, true thing in this World of our's is love and not caring whether it's cool or not to be kind to other's.
I and all the other Moms here know how your heart is broken and how you don't know if you can go on, I prayed every night for the first year or so that God would bring me home too, I did not want to be here without my son, my buddy, but I'm thankful now, after 7 yrs., that He was wiser than I and ignored my prayers. You're in that gawdawful 24/7 pain and grief right now, you feel as though your heart has been ripped from your chest and your pain is so raw and biting, some day's you don't even feel like getting out of bed, it's an effort just to get up and get dressed. You wonder how the world can go on, don't they realize that it's different now, that you are weighed down under your pain and grief now that your much-loved Taylor is gone? I felt that way in the beginning, but I gradually learned that they didn't, only another Mom who has gone through this truly unnderstand's the pain and change's that happen. I wish you a warm welcome to this Circle of Love, I know how much you wish you didn't belong here as we all do, but there is strength in numbers. One day (and I know you won't believe me right now, I didn't when other Moms told me this) your pain won't be 24/7, you'll smile at the sound of Taylor's name instead of feeling pain and crying, but that take's time and a lot of it, your time, nobody else's. For now though, you have to walk through the fire, but you don't have to do it alone, we are all here to support you, understand you, love you, and be that ear you need and walk alongside you in your grief Journey as well. This is a very safe haven for Moms, Parents, you can freely talk here and never be judged, your feeling's are always honored here as well as your Belief system. This Circle is an inter-faith one, all Belief's are honored here too.
I'm so sorry sweetie that you're in so much pain right now, but remember, Love is Eternal, it's the only emotion that really matter's and your love for Taylor and his for you is a bond that death cannot break.
Here is a Link to your Taylor's Memorial Site: TAYLOR
Please come back and post here again, I look forward to it when you're ready,
Much love, prayers & Angel Hugs,
Sandy
Mom of Shane

Hi Lisa, a warm welcome to this circle of love and understanding. We all know the pain you are feeling at this time. As our Angel Chief said you are in that awful 24/7 stage and nothing can possibly make you feel better, but in time with understanding and kind words from someone who walks along beside you,the warm wonderful memories of your beloved son will help lessen the pain. Your web site memorial is beautiful.

In Dec. '98 I lost my firstborn child Kimberly in a car wreck, then Feb.24, 06 I lost my son in a wreck. As I told these wonderful ladies at this circle I had just started to learn how to handle everything from Kim's death when Josh got killed.
So Hon if you need to talk we'll listen,if you need to scream we'll listen to that too. We've all been there and some of us are still in that very tender stage.
My prayers are with you.
Love and hugs, Anita

Charlene, dear sister my e-mail address is changed. The new one is

acallahan1260@earthlink.net

I was getting too much spam mail on the other one.
Love you sis, Anita

Dear Lisa,
I want to add my welcome to this unique prayer circle. I just spent the last half hour on Taylor's site. I posted how his death was very similar to my brothers. As I was reading it was uncany how similar both boys are.

Please know you are totally safe here, you can say anything and not be judged. Right now just know that you are loved and accepted. Try to listen to your body, it really tells you what you need (food, rest,etc.). Please continue to post here often. The more we vent, the less we hold in. It's what we hold in that can destroy us. Love, Jane

BARBARA!! OMG, it's so good to hear from you again!! I was thinking about you one day last week, wondering how you're doing and voila, you posted and I'm so happy!
Yes, I'm still here, in addition to the Circle I'm also a Moderator of 3 Discussion Boards here, so I feel like I'm part of the wallpaper sometimes, :-). This Circle will always be my first love though, through it I've met some of the most amazing women such as yourself and I feel very blessed by that.
Our family is doing well, our other son Chris is engaged to a lovely young lady but no date set yet for the wedding. He's still working and living in another City, so it's just hubby and I now, :-). I'm happy to read that your family is doing as well as can be too, your daughter must be out on her own by now too.? I know, sometime's something will blindside you, and the memories and pain can hit you suddenly. It's still not easy sometimes, is it? I read what you posted at Shane's Memorial site, thank you dear Barbara, that was so nice of you! Now that I know you still visit your Jason's site, I'm going to post there to you as well, perhaps we can have a 'virtual toast' and sing Mr. Jones to them, :-). Please keep popping in every now and then, you're missed and it's always such a terrific surprise to see a Post from you, God keep you and your family too,
Much love & Hugs,
Sandy

Sandy,so good to hear from you too. You and Shane are in my thoughts often and missed you too. We have a bond, our sons do too. I plan to post more often. I was reading some of the old posts and was saddened by them ,but realized how very much it has helped me through my greif process and am sure it has helped many others. I thank-you for being you! Love, Barbara

I am so sorry that I started the error in azsummer2003's name. Her name is Lori and NOT Lisa. I am so sorry that I didn't catch that I have her name as Lori on all my paperwork here at home so I don't know why I wrote Lisa here on my post. I deeply apologize to you Lori for that error!
Charlene
p.s. I hope and pray that you are feeling better today.

Thank you Anita for your updated email address; I changed it in my address book this morning.
Barbara, you don't know me but I, too, welcome you back to the prayer circle here. If you don't mind, I'll add your name and your Jason's name to our Special Dates List. The only information I don't have for him is his birthdate. I update the List as we get new 'members' here and post the updates so all the sisters here can pray for each other on their children's special days (birthdays and homegoing days). Thank you for posting again and letting us know how you are doing. Much love and prayers for you today,
Charlene

Hi dear Lori.Welcome to this Circle of Love, I am so sorry we have to meet this way. I also spent time reading your wonderful son's Memorial, and I am truly sorry. We all know and understand what you are going through dear Lori. We all have experience that awful pain, the anger, the whys, and we all have that hole in our hearts that will never be filled. I lost my only child Aug 15, 2002, she was 20 years old and full of life and happiness, she went to Heaven due to a car accident. Yes I also asked God to take me, I didn't want to live anymore, but we all have to wait , when He decides it is our time, we will be together with our children again. Our kids are not death, they are just out of our sight and they are very happy with our Lord, I know it is difficult to understand that now, but you will. If God let you here it is because Taylor is already with all of our Angel kids, they are all wonderful kids, and eventually you will get a sign from Taylor. He understand your grief, he knows that we are only humans and it is OK to grieve, just don't hold it in, let your pain and tears out, feel that pain and cry or scream if you most. Please come back here, you will find lots of understanding, love, and prayers, there will be no judgement here, we are all in this together, and with the help of all our Angel sisters, you will also survive this agony, with our prayers and understanding you will realize that you are not alone in this. My prayers and love are with you. Selva

Hi my dear sister Charlene. I am so sorry about your husband's accident, Thankg God that he is OK, that must have been such a scary moment for both of you, ay my dear sister, you are really having a share of bad moments lately, I pray to God that He will let you rest for a while on a little hill and give you the strenght, I just love that poem and it is so true. My prayers are always with you my dear sister. Love Selva

Hello to all that share my pain. I received a e-mail shortly after i posted my pain and it was very wonderful I haven't gone back to it yet to thank that person personally but i will today. My name is Barbara Finnerty
My Daughter made a memorial for my son as I could not type thru my tears then i did anyway the typos made me smile later if any one would like to see my hansome boy you can find him under Garry Frasher most presious son and brther. I also invite you to say a prayer so that it may help my daughter. I don't know how to help her I sometimes she hurts me so bad in my heart cause I know she is angry and in pain. I pray for her all the time. We as in my brother and sisters are having a surprise 70th birthday party for my mother Sept., 30 and we are all to bring pictures of her with are family's i mentioned to my daughter that I was going to mostly take pictures of her as a child with her family and maybe just one with Garry Carrie and me barbie as I am called and she went into the speech that no one will want me to be sad and they don't know what to say, Garry was my mothers first grandchild how can I do this without that thought. I have read the last 5 pages of this wonderful prayer circle and it has helped. The poem I want to send to my daughter. You see her father as well as Garry's father is in prison for life, he did this when my son was first and very close to death, she has a half brother that just had a baby boy. She wants to be a part of those half brother and 2 sisters, but she knows it will never be like it was with her and Garry. And she hurting so bad because when she has children her Garry won't be there. All children loved and always went to him and she wants to be able to be happy but she is in so much pain when she is like this she shuts me out. so without out further babble I ask for your prayers for us. As I pray for all of you. I am using this as a diary as was suggested by another sister. I have a great husband but I still feel that if it wasn't for my daughter I wish I could lay down and die Oh dear God Dear sisters in grief pray for me

Hi dear Barbara,
So good to hear back from you! I know, I feel it as well - that's why I'm always so happy when you pop in :-)
A lot of history in the back pages, isn't there. I hope you found some of your's and you can see how far you've come, although I know you still have your moments and days. You'll never know how your own sharing's here have helped another Mom in her Journey.
That's terrific Barbara, that you plan on posting more, God bless you and I really look forward to reading (and talking!) to you again,
Much love & Hugs,
Sandy

Hi my dear, dear sister, so good to see you posting! I haven't heard from you in a while, you've been very busy at work you said, so I pray you're taking advantage of the weekend and getting some R & R in, :-).
Love you my dear, dear sister and you know my prayers are with you always,
Sandy

Hi dear Barbie (momcandoit)! So glad to hear from you again; and glad to hear that you are doing a little better. So sorry to hear that your daughter, Garry's sister, is having such a rough time. It is so hard on siblings too when they lose a brother/sister, especially if they had been close. If you would like to post your Garry's birthdate and homegoing date I would be glad to let all the other sisters know so they can pray for you ESPECIALLY on those dates. Or if you want to just email me the information, I can pass it on from there. My email is mct1@ckt.net. I hope you have a good time at your mother's birthday celebration. My sister and brothers and I planned a surprise party for our mother last January for her 80th birthday. We even put her picture in 3 local papers to invite people to the party; since she didn't subscribe to any papers we figured that she wouldn't find out the surprise ahead of time. And she didn't! It was a wonderful day. I'm sure you will make good memories on that day. And I say don't worry about what other people will think about you having pictures of Garry there. He was very much a part of her life and you can't just pretend that he never existed. I hope you and your daughter can 'get together' again and share like you used to. Each of you have to grieve in your own way and in your own time; be patient with each other. You know you can come here anytime and vent or cry with us and we will listen. My prayers are with you!
Love, Charlene

Charlene , Shanner all my angel sisters I can't thank you enough for sharing all your pain, love advise ,prayers concern it truly is a Godsend to me. Dear Lord Please help all of us in our grief, Bless all who have come here and bless Shanner for her unending posts for she surely has brought all of us together with her sharing her pain and encouraging all the others. Again God Bless those who reached out to me so quickly. My daughter and I sent Garry's memorial to our family members so they may share and tell there "Garry stories and I know that she checked in daily as did I to see who visited and what they might have wrote much to our dismay they have not been able to as yet. Then I found all of you and I plan to introduce my daughter to this or encourage her to find a sibling site that may be as wonderful and sharing as all of you.

Hello dear AngelMom Barb, yes, you have this place now, this amazing Circle of Love (and healing as Charlene calls it) to pour out your feelings and be honored for them, I know you miss your beloved Garry beyond mere words, but it help's so much to let it out! Thank you for your very kind words, but without God, there would be no Circle so the Glory goes to Him, :-). Your daughter is most welcome to come here as well and post, she lost her dear brother and she too has to let it out, among us all who understand this pain and grief. God bless you dear Barb and please keep posting,
Love, prayers & Angel Hugs,
Sandy