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Shane Whalen
This Prayer Circle is Dedicated to my son Shane Whalen Who Passed Away On March 15, 1999 at the Age of 24, & All Other Children


Start a prayer circle for bereaved parents who have lost a child.


There are many of us out there who have lost a child, and it is devastating. It changes the outlook on life, plunges you into a depression, and you think that the feelings and thoughts you have nobody else could possibly relate to. I think a prayer circle for bereaved parents would only benefit us and help us on our journey of grief. This Circle is one of Love, where a Grieving Parent can safely come to for Prayers, and to talk about their feelings.

 
Shaner -10/14/2000
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havelost4
8/24/2006 09:21

Dear connienevada,
I'm sorry to hear about your sister's death. That does make things complicated when you're dealing with 2 so soon together. I'm sorry I'm a little behind on my special dates list but I will try to get that updated by the first of September so I can post then. Keep posting and 'letting it out' so you will feel better.
Love and prayers,
Charlene


KPETERSEN
8/24/2006 10:39

Good morning dear sisters,
I would like to ask for prayers today. It is my birthday and all I can think about is not having Wes here to celebrate it with me. I just want to be with him. The ache in my heart just won't go away. He always made such a big deal out of my birthday, not with gifts but with love and happiness. I miss him. He would be planning where to take me for dinner today and would be just as excited as me. Boy....how things change in the blink of an eye.
Love to all
Kathy


havelost4
8/24/2006 10:56

Yes, Kathy, I know how things can change in the blink of an eye! It's okay to cry on your birthday! Maybe you could plan a special meal for yourself, whether it is out someplace or at home? I'll be praying for you today; and Happy Birthday!
Love,
Charlene


KPETERSEN
8/24/2006 11:22

Your right....its my party and I'll cry if I want to! Thank you Charlene.


Shaner
8/24/2006 15:16

Hey our dear Jen, what a terrific surprise to see a Post from you! I thought (and hoped!) that with the wonderful Pages you sent me in y e-mail that you were back online - thank goodness for the Library, but I really pray you get another PC soon, probably not as anxious as you, yourself are too, :-). We know you're still with us in love, prayers and spirit, and ditto for you my dear friend,
Lots of love & Angel Hugs,
Sandy


Shaner
8/24/2006 15:23

Hi dear Connie,
Gosh, yes, it's been a while, but I'm so sorry to read about the loss of dear sister, that's really tough on top of your own grief and pain and getting ready for the Memorial Service.
Our love, support and prayers are with you, yes, hope to hear back from you soon,
Much love, prayers & Angel Hugs,
Sandy


Shaner
8/24/2006 15:36

Aw, our dear Kathy, I know you're in a lot of pain today, your special day and your beautiful Wes not here to make it the special day it would normally be. I also understand your feeling's wanting to be with your Wes, how badly I wanted the same during the early years.
Spend the day in whatever way is easiest for you, don't put any expectations on yourself or let others.
I pray that our Lord cradles you in His loving arms, He understand's your tears and pain and that He give's you a measure of His comfort and His peace today. May you also feel your precious Wes around you,
Much love, & Angel ((Hugs))
Sandy


arqt
8/25/2006 10:54

Hello sisters! I would say that I've been having some valley days, but I think it's worse than that. I really think I need to be back on some anti-depressants, but I don't want to have to pay another doctor and be on any more meds. I know it is WRONG to dwell in self-pity, but I can't seem to drag myself out of it. I've lost my only child, I'm losing my hearing, I have this incurable kidney disease, I don't want to be on dialysis and I don't want a kidney transplant. Today, I think I would rather just die! I know we are all supposed to be inspirational and supportive here, but at the same time, I needed to share how I am feeling with all of you. No responses are necessary. Thanks for listening though.


havelost4
8/25/2006 13:40

My dear sister Donna,
I'd like to remind you that I was in your 'shape' not too long ago and am now just coming out of it. I would also like to tell you what you told me:
"I certainly understand the pain and grief, but don't EVER hope for a life threatening problem! Life is short enough, and we ALL NEED YOU! You have been such a blessing to this circle. I hate to even think about where I might be if it wasn't for Sandy, Selva, Miss V., YOU, and all the sisters (and brothers) here! Some days, this is the only place I can go to feel 'normal'."
I send those words back to you and hope that they help you as much as they helped me.
Love you sis! and praying for you!
Charlene


jpot
8/25/2006 14:51

Dear Donna,
As I'm writing this I'm crying for you. I just read the update memorial you wrote for Marcus. Heavenly Father, I pray you fill Donna with hope, the only hope that can come from you. Fill her with hope that she can have abundant life now, that will continue into eternity. Donna, it appears that you are very depressed, which includes the feelings of hopelessness. I urge you to seek help, either from your pastor (clergy) or a professional. I know it may cost, but your life is important, it's precious. Going back on meds isn't that bad, if it helps you get back on track. From what I've read (since I'm new here) you have a special place in this unique group. You are very loved and valued. Please love and value yourself and get help.
Love,
Jane


jpot
8/25/2006 14:56

Dear Kathy,
I'm sorry I didn't get a chance to come to this circle yesterday. Therefore, I din't know it was your birthday. I hope you felt free to cry or do whatever you needed to make it through the day. Aren't you glad that the special days only come once a year? I pray today will be much better for you.
Love,
Jane


Shaner
8/25/2006 16:05

Our dearest Donna,
Please don't ever feel that way, you don't have to be supportive and inspirational all the time, right now it's your turn to lean on all of us!
What you're experiencing is definitely NOT self-pity, you have a great deal on your plate and please, please, seek help! Anybody in your position would have bad days and bad stretches, sometimes we need the help from Dr.s to get through them, especially when you start thinking everything is hopeless - it's not, but you need the help to make you see that again!
Now you please, check-in again, we're all going to be worried about you.
It's our turn to be supportive and loveing of you so allow us that privelge and my love and prayers are with you,
Much love, prayers & Tender Hugs,
Sandy


KPETERSEN
8/25/2006 16:17

Dear Donna,
I am crying too while I read your post. I know that feeling very well. Somedays I would rather not face the world and be at peace like our children. Heavenly Father, our sister needs you. Please carry her Lord. Please whisper in her ear that there is hope and there are many people who care about her. Donna, I wanted to tell you that I am a kidney donor, to my brother. He was on dialysis for quite awhile and was near his end. He also had the same feelings as you have expressed and was depressed. He finally agreed to take anti-depressants and it helped so much. Please, take your medicine. It won't take your hurt away entirely but it will help you sort these feelings out and deal with them one at a time. I am so sorry that you are hurting. Please know that there is hope and there is love here in your circle of friends. If you have any questions about your kidney disease or if I can help in anyway please let me know.
Love to you
Kathy


KPETERSEN
8/25/2006 16:25

Dear sisters,
Thank you for the Birthday wishes. I made it through the day and only cried once. I am so blessed to have you all. I know that I can come to you will all that I am feeling and not feel like I am a bother. Today is much better.
Thank you so much
Kathy


KPETERSEN
8/25/2006 16:27

Heavenly thoughts

Make yourself familiar with the angels, and behold them frequently in spirit; for without being seen they are present with you.


connienevada
8/25/2006 23:34

To God Be The Glory. Hello all! I don't know if this prayer came from this site or where I got it from but it will be my opening statement for my son's memorial, and for you Kathy and argt, I pray it will be some comfort to you both. The title is If Tears Could Build A Stairway - author unknown. If tears could build a stairway, and memories a lane, I would walk right up to Heaven and bring you back again. No farewll words were spoken, No time to say "goodbye". You were gone before I knew it, an dGod knows why. My heart still aches with sadness, and secret tears still flow, What it meant to love you - No one can ever know. But now I know you want me to mourn for you no more; To remember all the happy times, life still has much in store. Since you'll never be forgotten, I pledge to you today - A hollowed place within my heart is where you'll always stay.

This will be my constant reminder after the memorial service. I will read it and read it for the rest of my life. Not only for my only son, but for my oldest sister. I know God has a plan for us all and when He took my sister, one of his Missionary and Evangelist, I know there is a plan for us all. I turn to Psalm 121 and get that calmness as He standing on the water saying "Peace Be Still". My heart is going out to all of you and I know we are all covered by the Blood.


LOVE2U
8/26/2006 09:02

Good Morning my dear sisters, ~ I pray that God wraps His arms around each of you and give you peace and healing from grief, depression, worry, and pain as only He can.

Sandy, Selva, y'all know me oh so well. :) Because weíve known each other a lot longer, yíall seem to read between the lines and figure out when something is going on with me. You both are so right about everything you said in your post to me. In addition to all that you both mentioned, I have been allowing myself to be bothered by an insensitive comment I received in an email from a family [not on my side - thank the Lord], [Ha-ha!] who doesnít know dada about what itís like to lose a child. And they definitely have no idea about how difficult special days are for us. It is like Sandy said; it doesnít matter how much time has passed; time doesnít mean very much when youíve lost a precious child. It can come back strong; especially on special days.

Sometimes, insensitive comments can make special days a bit harder to deal with. I was doing fine until I read that email.:( I was tempted to respond, but instead I kept it all inside and went into what we angel moms refer to as deep valley time. I even asked myself if I needed to be reminded to love and appreciate the ones who are left behind.

Eventually, I had to remind myself that only those who have walked in our shoes can relate to what itís like to lose a child or grandchild. You donít get over it, but you do learn ways to go on with Godís help -- sometimes we must learn how to go on without the support we feel we need from some of our family members and/or close friends; people we just knew would be there for us through it all. I only mention this incident because there may be other angel moms/grand moms who may one day be faced with a similar situation. Words can hurt, but it helps to know that many times others donít mean to be insensitive; they just donít know any better or donĎt know what to say! It was not easy, but I knew I needed to forgive this person. It helped to recall the words of one of the poems the Holy Spirit gave to me to write three months before I lost my beloved daughter, Diane. I really believe that God knew I would need to be reminded often while on my endless journey the importance of forgiving others as we are forgiven. Perhaps there may come a time when the words of this inspired poem will speak volumes to others on there endless journey as it has -- time and time again -- to me.
Love & Angel Hugs,
Verna; aka Miss V.

One Way

When we kneel and pray
We always say Ö
And forgive us as we forgive
But still we go from day to day
Unwilling to forgive

Sometimes I wonder as I travel
This road of life so filled with strife
And forgive us Ö
Is this a one way street, or what?


LOVE2U
8/26/2006 09:22

Words of Inspiration :)

Spiritual rest is the absence of self-generated action. Spiritual rest lets God's will direct your motives and His power direct your actions. Spiritual rest frees you from the burden of pleasing others to doing all to please Him.

Spiritual rest moves you from perplexity to divine purpose ... from over-loading to the Spirit's prompting ... from frustration to every good and perfect work.

Spiritual rest looks to God for timing ... leans on God for sufficiency ... depends on God for results.

From: Never Forgotten ~ Always Loved!
By: Roy Lessin


havelost4
8/26/2006 09:47

Thank you Verna for your words of wisdom today; my pastor has been sending me encouraging emails since I haven't been able to attend church the past month because of the pain in my shoulder. He was talking yesterday about rest. How we need God's rest!! We can't rely on our wisdom or our methods to obtain rest, but only rely on God and His rest. I liked that 'looks to God for timing...leans on God for sufficiency...depends on God for results' because it ALL depends on God. How do we know that? Because first of all we must believe that God exists and then we must diligently seek Him for the answers to life and it's problems. You notice that we have to 'diligently' seek Him; that takes effort (that I don't want to do sometimes and that's why I don't get the rest--peace--that I need). And how do we seek Him? By spending time with Him; talking to Him and reading His word to hear Him talking to us. Again, that takes effort on our part.
Enough of my mini-sermon for today. LOL!
Thank you again Verna!
Love, Charlene


LOVE2U
8/26/2006 09:47

Dearest Donna, ~ as I read your post my eyes filled up with tears. I know the pain of losing a child but not the pain of losing an only child. I also know how frustrating it is to be hearing impaired. I currently have a niece thats on dialysis. Realizing you have a lot on your plate, I have been praying in the spirit for you, and I hhave faith that God will comfort you and give you the encouragement and help that you so desperately need. In spite of what you are feeling right now, you have a strong will, and such compassion for others. Your inner spirit shines brightly, even after all you've been through. I believe with all my heart and soul that God is not through with you. I also believe that God brought all of us together for the purpose of helping each other on our endless and yes, sometimes painful journey. There is no doubt in my mind that God hears our every prayer and knows our every need. I pray that you will feel the results of all our prayers for you and that you rest in the knowledge that God loves you and so do we. Accept God's blessings dear one, and know that God is on our side. :)
Love & Angel Hugs,
Verna aka Miss V.


havelost4
8/26/2006 09:58

Yes Connie, I love the Psalms and try to read 5 a day. Yes, my help comes from the Lord who made heaven and earth; He also made me and each one of you. If He made me, He can take care of me. He doesn't go to sleep and forget us, He has us in the palm of His hand. Sometimes it doesn't seem that way, but that's exactly the way it is. And it's good to be reminded of that once in a while.
I ran across this poem yesterday in back posts and it really helped me. I want to share it again with you all.

TO ALL PARENTS
by Edgar A. Guest

"I'll lend you for a little time, a child of mine," He said.
"For you to love the while they live and mourn for when they're dead.
It may be six or seven years, or twenty-two or three,
But will you, 'til I call them back, take care of them for me?
They'll bring their charms to gladden you, and shall their stay be brief
You'll have their lovely memories as solace for your grief.
I cannot promise they will stay, since all from earth return,
But there are lessons taught down there I want this child to learn.
I've looked the wide world over in my search for teachers true
And from the throngs that crowd life's lanes I have selected you.
Now will you give them all your love, nor think the labor vain;
Nor hate Me when I come to call to take them back again?"

I fancied that I heard them say, "Dear Lord, Thy will be done!
For all the joy Thy child shall bring, the risk of grief we'll run.
We'll shelter them with tenderness, We'll love them while we may.
And for the happiness we've known forever grateful stay.
But shall the angels call for them much sooner than we've planned,
We'll brave the bitter grief that comes, and try to understand."

Love and prayers to you all today!!
Charlene


havelost4
8/26/2006 10:22

Verna, I want you to know that I agree with you about forgiveness. It's so hard to do sometimes (for me) but as I realize how much I need it, then I can extend it to others. I've had to apologize to my husband several times because of insensitive remarks I would make to him after our granddaughters were killed. He was in full-blown grief and I wasn't allowing myself to 'go there'. I reminded him several times to be thankful for the grandkids we had instead of dwelling on the ones we lost. How insensitive was that??!! It's true that we needed to be thankful but that was not the time to remind him. I even now have tears in my eyes about how insensitive I was to his pain; but now that I am allowing myself to feel that pain, it makes all the difference in the world. I agree with you that people who make those kinds of remarks aren't necessarily trying to be mean to us, they're just not sensitive to what it's actually like to go through what we're going through. And, we have to let them go, letting God take care of them and speak to them. 'Pray for those who persecute you' mentality.
Enough again! :o)
Love, Charlene


jpot
8/26/2006 11:54

Hi Sisters,
How many of you had Bible verses thrown at you in your worse time of grief? Especially Rom 8:28, I became to hate that verse. The day my Elizabeth died, at least 25 people quoted it to me. Yes, I know God will work everything for good, but at that time I needed words of comfort and not exhortation. Honestly, after 27 years I still can't see any good to have come from her death. I can only trust that good has come from it, but my earthly heart can't see it. What I do know is that God is good, not safe, but good.


havelost4
8/26/2006 19:06

Is it the shock and anger and disbelief all rolled into one at the time that causes us to not be able to think beyond our pain? I know I've had moments when I can't read my Bible; I think it's because I don't want words, I want a physical person to show that they care. Don't give me words, SHOW me you care by just doing for me or sitting quietly by my side. Without love from the person they're coming from, words don't mean much.
Thank you Jane for being here to share with us.
Love, Charlene

 
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