Prayer Circles

Dear Kathy, I haven't got a chance to welcome you to our Circle of Love, I Thank God you found us. It helps to let your feelings out in a place that you will be understood and never judged. Thank you so much for sharing that beautiful poem with us. To all my dear New Angel Moms, I am sorry that we have to meet this way, but please know that we all understand the pain, the anger, the whys and all that comes with this so complicated pain. This is a Safe heaven that our dear Angel in Chief Sandy, created for all of us, God Bless her for that. i don't know where I'll be if it werent for these wonderful sisters and their love and prayers. Prayers works. My love to all of you. Selva

Hi my dear Angel in Chief. I went to work today with a heavy heart, but working keeps my mind busy, I hardly got any sleep last night so I will try to go to bed early today. Sorry I could not find the link to The Miami Herald's obituaries so I could sent it to you, that is so hard on me, it really takes a toll. I am going to see my pshyco next friday, right now I need all the help I can get. Love you my dear dear sister. Selva

Dear Margie,
Take it from someone who's been there, run and don't look back. If he won't support you now, it will only get a lot worse if you are married. I raised my stepchildren, there were 4 ages 6-14 when we got married. Within the first month the oldest threw me down the basement stairs. When I told his father, I was asked what I did to make him so mad! I stayed married to that man for almost 25 unbearable years. Right now you need people in your life that will love you unconditionally and support you in your grief. This man doesn't have a clue about grief. I agree it is better to be alone than be with someone like that.

Jane

Dear Donna,
I feel your pain when you stated you'll never hear Marcus call you mommy. Elizabeth was my only daughter, but I do have three sons. One was born before her and two after. May I ask if Markus was a sids baby? I don't know if you plan to have another child, or if you think you can't. My last two sons were both miracle babies. Neither one was suppose to be conceived. My last one stayed in my upsidedown uterus for 10 months! I was suppose to naturally abort him within weeks of his conception. Obviously, God had better plans. Like I said, I don't know your desires or plans, but epect the impossible with God!

Hi my dear, dear sister, my co-pilot, :-). I know it took a big toll out of you, going through another special day, it not only affect's you emotionally but physically as well. Little wonder you had no energy. I'm glad to see you posting again though, don't worry about the Link, maybe I can find it on my own. It's too bad that you're not going to see your psycotherapist this Friday, rather than next! Don't you worry my dear sister, you will have all the help that you need, you know that by now,
Lots of love & Tender Hugs,
Sandy

Hello dear Jane, it's been unusually busy here the last few days, but I, along with Selva, welcome you to the Circle - sorry it took this long!
Love, prayers & Angel Hugs,
Sandy

Thank you Selva for your warm welcome. Please know that you are in my prayers. I am so sorry you are hurting. I pray that God ease your pain and guide you to peace. Please take care of yourself. I know that sometimes I get so caught up in my grief that I don't eat, I just forget. I don't sleep well and before you know it, I am feeling very sick. Grief and stress can really put you down, so please take care. God knows your pain and will see you through.
Bless you
Kathy

Message from Heaven

Don't grieve for me, for now I'm free
I'm following the path God laid for me.
I took His hand when I heard him call.
I turned my back and left it all.
I could not stay another day
To laugh, to love, to work or play.
Tasks left undone must stay that way.
I found that peace at the close of the day.
If my parting has left a void
Then fill it with remembered joy.
A friendship shared, a laugh, a kiss,
Ah yes, these things I too, will miss.
Be not burdened with times of sorrow.
I wish you the sunshine of tomorrow.
Perhaps my time seemed all too brief,
Don't lengthen it now with undo grief.
Lift up your heart and share with me.
God wanted me now, He set me free.

Dear jpot (Jane, right?)
I haven't been trying not to get pregnant again, but so far, it must not be God's will for me to have another child. I'll be 40 in February, so as far as age is concerned, I guess the clock is ticking.
I also have a CKD (chronic kidney disease). The doctor told me Monday that the only real complication would be that a pregnancy may cause my blood pressure to go up, and the CKD does that already. LOL! There is a factor that Charlene and I have discussed in personal emails; my husband isn't exactly 'full time father' material. He is an only child, and quite selfish. He doesn't appreciate anything with 'strings' that would keep him from doing what he wants to do. As I have discussed my step-daughter, Alex, the days she spend here with us, he tends to end up ignoring her and doing his own thing, leaving me to 'entertain' her. So, if the kidney disease is going to shorten my life, I'm afraid another child might be a bit of an inconvenience for him. Then again, maybe it would make him a better person.
I think we all agree that Margie might be better off moving on, when I fell into her shoes, I had already married the inconsiderate man. He was very little support for me when we lost Marcus. Oh! Yes, Marcus was a SIDS baby. God spared me from having to be the one to find him, he had stayed with my parents, and my mother found him. To this day, she still blames herself and hasn't forgiven herself. The thought NEVER crossed our minds that she had done anything wrong, and the autopsy report proved that, but she still wants to blame herself. I am the youngest, and Marcus was the last grandchild she would have.

To all my sisters,
Thanks ever so much for all the prayers, but I don't need a transplant, YET. The best thing that could happen for me is for the disease to go back into remission. I don't quite understand all the specifics. Something to do with the filters in my kidneys being scared and not filtering out the protein, so I spill protein in my urine. The more protein I spill, the more damage to the filters? I have 5 different meds to try to control the blood pressure, cholesterol, and protein spillage. I don't have a time frame on how long it might be, or anything else. I just have to go in every 2 months for be monitored. Now, I hope all of you are as confused as I am.

Love and (((HUGS))) to all!
Donna
dickensdonna@yahoo.com

Dear Donna,
My Elizabeth was a sids baby and I found her. In fact, I was the only adult home at the time. I all too know the guilt your mother is feeling. After 27 years I still ask myself if I could have done something differently. My head knows hers was a classic sids case, she had apnea. It was only after the fact that I remembered a friend asking is she was alright because she was so still when she slept, she didn't seem to be breathing. Of course, I knew nothing about sids and was unconcerned at the time. My husband at the time didn't seem to blame me, but 23 years later he came to me crying stating he had a dream that I smothered her and that day went to the cementary and cried and told Elizabeth how sorry he was for what mommy had done. Nice man huh? I left him a couple of months later. In my note to you I wasn't trying to suggest you get pregnant, only to encourage you that despite any complication it can still happen. I know that any future children cannot replace the one who is in heaven. I so know what you're going through with your stepdaughter and husband. The first time I was pregnant my husband told me he only married me to take care of his children and he didn't want anymore. He actually told me he would put the baby in the garbage. He turned out to be a pretty good father to his sons. However, he taught them total dependance on him, and to disrespect all women. My prayers are with you.

Love,
Jane
janepotoczny@sbcglobal.net

Oh, my poor Donna! We had you on the Operating Table and set to go, didn't we, ha, ha. I understand your explanation, so instead of praying right now for a Donor, we'll pray that your disease goes into remission!
Much love, prayers & Angel Hugs,
Sandy

Our dear Kathy,
I've often seen that Poem used in Memoriams, it really hit's home, doesn't it. Thank's for posting it haere to share with all!
Much love, prayers & Angel Hugs,
Sandy

Kathy, you're already an inspiration and encouragement to me by your posts. Thank you!
Charlene

Good morning Sandy,
Yes that was Wes's memorium. I read it often. It helps me to remember that God has a purpose for each and every one of us. Of course we don't always know what the purpose is! Hope you have a restful, peaceful weekend. You are in my prayers.
Kathy

Heavenly thoughts

Perhaps they are not stars in the sky
but rather openings where our loved ones shine down to let us know they are happy.

Dear Charlene,
Thank you. I am so happy to be able to share with you. All of you. God is so good to me. I loose sight of that sometimes and then something or someone crosses my path and brings it into light. I have found peace here. We all have such hurt and sorrow but I know that God is with us. He knows us inside and out and he cries when we cry. He hurts when we hurt. He will carry us when we just can't go on anymore. We have only but to trust. Thats all. To have our loved ones in his presence makes me very happy. How wonderful for them. Have a very blessed day today and know that you are loved.
Kathy

Thank you all for you advice. I really appreciate it. I know what I need to do, it is just a really hard decision. Without him I don't know how I will pay my bills. He takes care of the stuff that I can't pay for. My kids already sacrifice so much-not playing sports, no new clothes(garage sales are my friend), etc. My younger daughter is very gifted in the field of gymnastics, but I can't afford the lessons. I wish I could-I know she would be awesome at it. I just hate to take away what little they do have. I've been trying to decide whether to end it for 3 years! I'm just not very good at making BIG decisions. It took me getting beat up by my ex-husband 10 or 12 times before I decided I should leave. He sent me to the hospital by ambulance twice. The first time was horrible-he kicked me in my head, my back, my ribs, my stomach, my face and my legs. My arms had huge knots and bruises on them from sheilding my face. I had a cracked jaw and 7 or 8 cerebral contusions(brain bruises). My mom says that I am a jerk magnet. I supposed she's probably right. Please pray for me. I need either a raise in pay at my job, a better job or a good man to help me take care of my family. Thanks.
Love you all, Margie.

Dear Margie,
I wanted to let you know that I am praying for you. I too come from an abusive marriage. I finally came to the decision that I was better than that. My kids deserved to have a happy Mom. They deserved to be happy. This was 20 years ago and I have been a single mother ever since. Yes my boys missed out on a few things. It was so special though when they did get something they wanted because they appreciated it so much. I raised two boys on min wage with help from family and friends. (garage sales are still my friend) There are so many more important things in life than being mis-treated. I pray that you love yourself enough to make the right decision. It won't be easy I can tell you that. There will be very hard times but if you trust in God and really put your mind to it, I am sure the right doors will open for you. I know it is scary. Take your children under your wings and fly.
Love to you, I will be praying for you.

Margie,
By the way, times won't always be hard, they get better!

Hi my dear sister Donna. I am so glad that you explained, like our Angel in chief said, now we know what to pray for, and yes my dear sister, you can count on our prayers, God will restore your health again if it is His Will, but in the meantime we will try to make Him think about it, and then restore your health. My dear sister, we will storm Heaven for you. Love Selva

Hi my dear sister Kathy. Thank you so much for your so much needed prayers and thank you for sharing that poem, when Solange went to Heaven she was 20 years old, longing to be 21, she went to Heaven in August 15, and her 21st birthday was Dec 7th, I had a special mass for her that day, all her friends came and we let out 21 ballons out at the church's garden, they all wrote something in the balloons and so did I. I had the last picture of Solange to give out to everybody and in the back of it, was that same poem, she was so free, and now I know that she is a free Angel, dancing and singing with all of our Angel kids, they are all free now, they are very happy and I know that Solange already met Wes, Solange is a very friendly happy Angel so I am sure they are already good friends. My love and prayers. Selva

My dear Margie. I don't usually get involved in other peoples life, specially in this Circle of Love, but you are one of us bereaved moms. All I want to tell you is this, God will always be with you and your children, sometimes love and peace means more than material things, the love of a mother can do wonders, I was also a single mom, if you can call it that way, I separated from Solange's father when I was 9 months pregnant, I figured, that I could give me daughter a better life, emotionally, than give her richness and my husband was a millionare, yes actually with millions, and he never could buy my daughter's feelings although he tried, but she was so happy with me and the love I gave her, that she rather go through with it, sometimes I could never buy her the stuff she wanted, and when her father wanted to buy it for her, she didn't want it, I thoughed her that love meant everything, and with love we could go through life, and she really understood, she could have been very rich, but not at peace that she found "at home", and not with the love she had at home, God never fail us, He was always with us. My love and prayers. Selva

Hi dear Kathy,
Now I know why the Memoriam has such a special meaning for you, you picked it for you Wes, :-). Yes, we're all here for a reason, part of God's great plan, we don't always understand or agree with what's happening in our lives, but we have to trust in God that He knows and it's all done out of love. I really like your Heavenly Thoughts as well, it's very visually beautiful! Thanks so much for your prayers dear Kathy, you are definitely a Beacon of light in this Circle of Love and I love how you were led here!
Much love, prayers & Hugs,
Sandy

Ay, my dear sister, no truer words have been spoken, it's not the material things in life that make us happy, or the amount of money in our bank accounts, but the love wwe share with each other. During our early years we didn't have a lot of money to spend on the boys, but they always, always knew how loved and important they were to us. And that's the bottom line in life, isn't it! It is truly the only emotion in life and Heaven that realy counts and doesn't die,
Love you my dear sister,
Sandy