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Shane Whalen
This Prayer Circle is Dedicated to my son Shane Whalen Who Passed Away On March 15, 1999 at the Age of 24, & All Other Children

Start a prayer circle for bereaved parents who have lost a child.

There are many of us out there who have lost a child, and it is devastating. It changes the outlook on life, plunges you into a depression, and you think that the feelings and thoughts you have nobody else could possibly relate to. I think a prayer circle for bereaved parents would only benefit us and help us on our journey of grief. This Circle is one of Love, where a Grieving Parent can safely come to for Prayers, and to talk about their feelings.

Shaner -10/14/2000
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Read Prayers.

8/14/2006 08:28

Hi my dear sister, you don't have to say you're sorry or apologize, everyone here know's how hard special days are so you just concentrate on yourself right now and know that our love and prayers are with you,
Lots of love, prayers & Tender Hugs,

8/14/2006 15:40

God Bless you all today. I am so happy to have a place where I get my feelings out. It is truly a blessing. I went walking on the beach on Wes's special day. He lived in an apartment about 1/2 block away. It was the 1st time I have been there in a very long time. We used to walk on the beach and talk, boy do I miss that! I still talked to him though and I know he was with me. I actually smiled several times. I remember when we were on one of our walks he stepped on a bee and carried on like he was 5 years old. It made me laugh. I miss taking care of him even though he was 23, to me he was still my baby! Always will be. Well I thank you all for your prayers and please know that I will be praying for each and everyone of you. We are very lucky to have each other aren't we? Peace be with you all.

8/14/2006 20:20

Hello dear Kathy,
Great to see a Post from you again, :-).
That sound's wonderful, taking a walk on the Beach like you and Wes used to do. Thank God for good memories to draw upon. I'm sure he was there with you, just as you both used to do. I talk to my Shane all the time, I do believe they can hear us, whether it's from our mind or out loud.
Aw, that's a sweet memory, with Mom looking after her 'baby'. You know what - I refer to my Shane as my baby too, even though he was 24. You're so right, they'll always be our babies.
I'm happy for you that you experienced some good moments on Wes's Heaven Date.
Yes, we are truly blessed to have each other, we all understand what other's can't.
Peace to you too, dear Kathy,
Love, prayers & Angel Hugs,

8/14/2006 22:17

Hello everyone I haven't posted and awhile Been busy with vacacation bible school and with my grandsons, and some days just missing my son. I attended a funeral a few weeks ago,for a member of our church, I ended up sitting out in the lobby with tears in my eyes. This was the first funeral I attended that I had a chance to think about my son.My husband saw me and asked if I was thinking about our son and I just shook my head yes. He told me it would be all right and left. I asumed he went in to talk to the Pastor's wife because she came out and sat with me and as the time went on so did some of the other women of the church and by the end of the time we were all laughing and telling stories. Some days it seems that my son is not gone and other days it hits like a bomb. Sunday was the first time that I talked to a neighbor(where we have our vacation trailer)that did not know about my son's death and I was able to tell her without breaking up.It will soon be his birthday and then soon after his death date. It seems like just yesterday and it will soon be a year.I thank the Lord for all of you and wish I could visit all of you to give you hugs.

8/15/2006 02:03

Hello Dear Angel Moms,

To our new angel moms: I’ve just about gotten caught up on reading back posts. If I haven't done so, I take this opportunity to welcome you to our circle of love. It saddens me to read of your child’s passing. There’s not an angel mom among us that cannot relate to the terrible and shattering pain in your heart and soul. It changes our lives forever. When I lost Diane, I lost my will and desire to live. I’ve come to believe [literally] that a part of who we once were is no longer alive. It is hard for others to relate to an angel mom’s unique grief because they do not walk in our shoes. Many want to, and try to be supportive, but sometimes become frustrated [I think] because they miss the person that we once were. Well, so do we, but it is impossible to be your old self when a part of you is missing.

Come August 31st, it will have been ten long years since I heard the words that no mother wants to hear. Yet, at times, it seems like yesterday. I still have those moments when I feel as though Diane will come walking through the door, yelling, “Hello Mother!” in her loud, joyful voice. And, as strange as it may seem, when I think of her, I don’t think of her as being dead. In my mind’s eye, I still see her radiant smile, and hear her laughter, and oh, her beautiful voice. Sometimes at church is so difficult to hold back the tears when I hear my baby girl singing. God gave both of them beautiful voices, and as she gets older, Cheryl has taken on her sister’s features even more since she has gained a little. As far as aging, Diane will always be 36 years old. As our chief angel mom says about her beloved Shane, I can’t imagine her being any older.

Yet, I still have the most vivid memories of Diane from they day she was born as well as before she was born. I remember the first time she moved inside me. I was so young and silly. Ha-ha! No one had bothered to tell me that at some point the baby would actually move! So I told hubby to call my mama! Ha-ha! And he did. Boy did we have a good laugh at me. I remember both Diane and Cheryl when they were small asking me to tell them again about the first time they moved inside me. With Cheryl, I was in college. I was lying on the bottom bunk bed in my dorm. When she moved, I got all wide eyed and emotional and sat up and said to my roommate: “Carol Jean … My baby just moved!” And she goes, “Yeaaaa!” Then she said, “You want me to call David or 911? “ Ha-ha! We lived on campus in the married women’s dorm, and of course, we all had at least one child. So to her, it was no big deal that my baby moved. Ha-ha! Oh, the fond memories. God is good. He provides those fond memories for a reason, but as we know, sometimes even the fond memories can bring on the tears. But, thank God, they are healing tears that give us the strength we need to continue on our endless journey. As we know, it helps to talk about it no matter how long ago or how recent it has been since our child departed. They are still very much a part of us and always will be. My prayer - as always is - that our heavenly Father God, will give each of us fond memories, and those precious moments of peace that only He can provide.

My dear Sister Selva, You know my prayers are with you. I think I emailed you last night?? I’ll be storming heaven with extra prayers for you on tomorrow; your beautiful Solange’s heavenly date. May it help to know that you are not alone, and that all of us here will be praying powerful prayers to help you make it through the day. The Rues are praying for you, too! They, Steven, Antone' and Ashley send their love to you!

Much love, tender hugs, and prayers for all,


8/15/2006 02:13

I see it's already the 15th my dear Selva, but I started this post on the 14th. Now, don't you go telling the Rues how late I was up! Ha-ha! Believe me, I slept enough today for all of us! My doctor is changing my meds so that I will start sleeping better at night. Old habits are hard to break. :) One cup of [weak]coffee then off to bed! I promise!:)

8/15/2006 07:02

Hi dear lask, yes it has been awhile, so I'm happy to see a Post from you again, I worry when I don't hear from one of our member's of theis precious Circle of Love.
You were very brave to try and go to another funeral so soon after losing your son, so don't feel badly at all about breaking down, it was good for you and look at all the support you received from the other ladies!
I know sweetie, the day's the 'bomb' hit's are so very painful, it's a little bit of reality coming through in your shock phase and is perfectly normal, although painful to have.
Yes, it would be so nice if we could all get together, wouldn't it!
Much love, prayers & Angel Hugs,

8/15/2006 07:13

Hello our dear Miss V, it's always a treat to read one of your Rambler's and you had me laughing over feeling Diane for the first time, :-). I remember oh so well the first time I felt Chris, I had 'butterflies' in my tummy and was visiting my Grandmother - I told her about the strange feeling and she said, "It's the baby moving!".
I was so surprised and happy!!
OK, maybe our dear Selva isn't going to tattletale on you to the Rues, but you forgot about me.....get to bed early!
Much love, prayers & Angel Hugs,

8/15/2006 07:23

Hi my dear sister, I know you've been going through so much pain lately and today, the 15th (a date I'll never forget either) of August, is your beloved baby girl Solange's Heaven Date. We've all been praying for you and you know my love and prayers are with you today as every day. My special Candle is lit for sweet Solange and you, I pray some good memories seep through and that you feel your Solange around you today, I know how much she love's you and you love her, so I'm sure it will happen.
Happy Heaven Date dear Solange, but please comfort your beloved Mom today, you know how much she's hurting and misses you.
Love you my dear, dear sister and you know my thoughts and prayers are with you today, on your very special day.

8/15/2006 10:34

Dearest Selva, I'm praying extra long for you today; praying that God would put you on my heart more often today so I can pray for you. Every minute of today seems like the longest day of the year to you. And this day will pass and the severe pain with it, but the pain of the loss will never go away. Just keep looking UP because that's our real hope; someday we will never more have to endure special dates but every day will be special in the presence of all our kids and Jesus!!!! Thank God for Jesus; without Him we would have no hope!
Love you,

8/15/2006 10:44

God is a changer.
He changes darkness to light
Ashes to beauty
Conflict to peace
He has changed death to life!
May you experience his changing power and his love today.
The spirit of the Lord God is upon give unto them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness....Isaiah 61: 1,3
My prayer for all today.

8/15/2006 10:54

Hello Lee Ann! It's good to hear from you! I very well remember the first funeral I attended after the girls' wreck and deaths. I had to stay outside and sob for quite a while and thought I couldn't go in but I did eventually. The funeral was for my son-in-law's dad and I didn't want to 'make a scene' and draw attention to my grief over the girls when my daughter and son-in-law needed the attention at that time.
THANK GOD for GOOD friends!! I think it is wonderful that your pastor's wife and some other women of the church came out to sit with you! That's just wonderful that they think so much of you. And that they got to telling stories and laughing was also wonderful; just what you obviously needed. I'm glad you're staying active for your grandsons; how are they doing? Thank you for posting and letting us know how you're doing.

8/15/2006 10:57

Oh, thank you Kathy for that prayer. I love that scripture and was just singing it the other day. It's very encouraging to know that God put that on your heart today too!
Love and prayers,

8/15/2006 11:16

Hi Miss V! It sounds like you're doing better physically although this is a hard month for you with both Diane's special dates this month. You're in my prayers!
I liked your first paragraph about losing part of who we once were. I read about that the other day in the book I've been reading titled "Experiencing Grief" by H. Norman Wright. Our loss not only leaves a hole in our lives, but it also creates other losses for the rest of our lives too: the loss of being able to talk to that person face to face or on the phone when something special happens that we know they would have liked to share; the loss of their presence whenever the rest of the family gets together; etc., etc., etc. We could each add to that list. The point that I got from that was that we are facing this loss for the rest of our lives because our child/grandchild will no longer be a part of us here on earth, or a part of whatever they would have been if they were still here. To me, that compounds our loss when we think of it that way. Maybe you all have already discovered that, but that thought explained a lot to me about what I was feeling and why it was so intense. I've not only lost my granddaughters, but I've also lost all the interaction that I would have had with them for the rest of my life---from everyday visits to special occasions.
Just a thought.
Thank you Miss V.

8/15/2006 12:35

Dear Miss V,
I too can relate to your first paragraph. I have lost who I am. I find myself wandering around the house wondering what I am doing. I have a 7 year old and I am his Mom of course but there is something different. I have lost my way. I was thinking yesterday that I must resign myself to the fact that nothing will ever be the same. I keep waiting for things to get back to "normal" when there is no such thing. I am forever changed. My family is forever changed. I lost my Mother in April. She was very sick and we expected it but I am trying to deal with two very different kinds of grief. The only way to get through any of this is with trust in God. We don't have any answers. He does, and all will be revealed. We will see our loved ones again and they will be beautiful. God Bless

8/15/2006 12:39

I wish I could be there with you to give you a physical HUG. Lord knows we all know how hard the special days are. I am so sure that Solange is in heaven, taking such good care of my Marcus. I can see her cradling him! Such a blessing to me to know he has someone so wonderful to take care of him. My heart is with you today. You,especially, have been such a blessing in my life.
I Love You!

8/15/2006 12:47

((((Miss V))))
You are an amazing woman! To be so strong for Selva when your own special day is upon you. We all know how the 'anticipation' of those days begin so far in advance. My heart and prayers are with you as Diane's special day is tomorrow. It is such a blessing to all of us, to have such a wonderful place to come where others do understand what we are going through. People out in the world who can't fully understand, sometimes make us feel as if we aren't normal.
You, along with Selva, Sandy, Charlene, and the other members of our exclusive club, have been a blessing in my life. Take care of YOU, we all need you to be around for a LONG time.
Love and ((HUGS))

8/15/2006 12:59

SO many new members! I am thankful they have found this circle of love. As everyone else has stated, I am saddened about why they are here. I pray they find as much comfort as I have being able to come here. I know I should come here more, but with all the health problems I have been having, some days I just don't have the strength. I went to the doctor yesterday, he confirmed that I am in stage 3 (out of 5) of the chronic kidney disease. Right now, we are going to keep on with meds to try to slow the progress, but he did say it has relapsed pretty hard. Praise God, he said I won't need dialysis until after I have to have the transplant. He wants to see me every 2 months to monitor it closely. He also mentioned that if the meds don't slow it down, he may want to do another biopsy. (those leave me in quite a bit of pain for a while) I guess we are in the 'waiting' game. Well, there's your update on that! LOL! I promise to try to do better about keeping in touch.

8/15/2006 13:05

To all my sisters,
I do have a bit of disheartening news. My friend Melanie, who lost her daughter in January. One of Mel's closest friends, the woman who NEVER left her side for the few weeks surrounding Becca's death, Kelly was killed in a car wreck last Friday. I know this is not something that Mel needed, since Kelly has been her rock the past few months. The funeral was today, but I still have trouble with funerals, so I just couldn't go. I just wanted to ask for some special prayers for Melanie because I know her life has been shattered by this. I want to help Mel, but I don't want to push too hard, either. Thanks for listening.

Here's to all the angels on earth in this circle!

8/15/2006 13:11

It's good to see your posts Donna. I will definitely keep your friend Melanie in my prayers! What a double-blow! I hope and pray that she will not take this too hard and that someone else will be able to step in and help her in her friend's place.
And YOU are in my prayers as well!
Love to you,

8/15/2006 13:23

Kathy, Yes we are learning how to live a NEW 'normal', whatever that is. Nothing will ever be the same; change is said to be good for us, but I don't see all the good yet. I remember when I first read the scripture about God pruning us; even though we've been so-called 'good' Christians, He still prunes us so that we will be even better. I didn't know what that meant until lately when I've been feeling 'pruned' (part my heart being cut out). Everything is supposed to be working out for our good so I just need to trust Him that He knows how to 'perfect' me.
Love to you,
p.s. also sorry to hear about your Mother; that is definitely a different type of grief, but grief nonetheless.

8/15/2006 13:58

My grandsons are doing fine. They will be starting school on the 7 of September.I have been trying to keep them busy all summer but some days you run out of things or you just don't feel like it and want to be alone but this was suppose to be and I have to change my life to be there for them. I think about you all very often but don't get here to post as much as i would like.I am trying to make some of the boys clothes for school. Since matt is in a man's small to medium and he only likes pull on pants and I can not find them in the stores my handy sewing comes into play. They both want so much of my attention that they think one is getting more than the other. The dog gets in on it too. The dog was my son's so I tell everyone I have custody of all my grandchildren and when they find out the dog was my son's they think that is funny. Well got to go back to my sewing or they will grow out of the clothes before I finish. Bless You all

8/15/2006 14:19

Hi Everyone,
I want to respond to the theme of losing who we are after the death of our child. I once heard that when an adult dies we lose the life the person lived - only have memories, however when a child dies we lose the future, what that child would have been. Since my Elizabeth died at 8 weeks, I lost everything about her. My only memories are of a very sweet baby who almost never cried. She smiled all the time, and slept through the night from the time she came home from the hospital. She was my only daughter. On the other hand, my 3 sons cried all the time and didn't sleep through the night for about a year. I know most of you still think of your child as the age they were when they went to heaven. I still wonder if Elizabeth grew up in heaven, and when I am finally united with her, how old will she be?

8/15/2006 14:26

For those of you with special dates this month, my prayer is with you. The special days do get easier, but they never go away. July 14th was 27 years ago, but it's a date sketched into my memory. However, it's no longer an open wound, but a scar, a reminder of how my life was forever changed. Before 9/11 I used to compare it to the day Kennedy was shot. Everyone old enough to remember knows exactly what they were doing when the news broke and how the world no longer felt safe. Now we have 9/11 to remind us this world is not a safe place. That's how I think of Elizabeth's heaven date. We don't live in a safe world, but she does, and so do your children. By the way, my first name is Jane. Blessings all.

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