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Shane Whalen
This Prayer Circle is Dedicated to my son Shane Whalen Who Passed Away On March 15, 1999 at the Age of 24, & All Other Children


Start a prayer circle for bereaved parents who have lost a child.


There are many of us out there who have lost a child, and it is devastating. It changes the outlook on life, plunges you into a depression, and you think that the feelings and thoughts you have nobody else could possibly relate to. I think a prayer circle for bereaved parents would only benefit us and help us on our journey of grief. This Circle is one of Love, where a Grieving Parent can safely come to for Prayers, and to talk about their feelings.

 
Shaner -10/14/2000
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havelost4
8/9/2006 11:40

Marci, my prayers are for you today! May God in His mercy grant you peace today, surround you with His presence and comfort, and encourage you even in the middle of your grief.
Love you sis!
Charlene


LOVE2U
8/9/2006 12:16

Hello dear Marci, ~ My candel is lit and will remain lit throughout the day as I join Anita and all the other angel moms in saying a special prayer for you today. Prayer can't heal your shattered heart, but it does help give you the strength to continue fighhting the good fight. I also pray that God helps you to keep the faith and hold on to the fond memories shared with your beloved Sean-Michael. If the tears come, just know that in our hearts,we embrace and cry with you. As Selva always says; We are all in this together.
Much love and tender prayers,
Verna


selvam
8/9/2006 14:10

My dear hermana Marci. My love and prayers are with you and family today, may God give you the strenght, wrap His Arms around you today and show you a sign that Sean Michael is very much alive in another realm,and very happy, just waiting for the reunion mi hermana, we will be with our kids again, and this time Forever. Love Selva


Shaner
8/9/2006 15:13

Hello my dear friend, sister, Marci, you know that my love and prayers are with you everyday, but a special one for today, God love you. You've had such a rough time, losing your precious Sean Michael on this date, a day that we re-live over and over again and tear's at our hearts. Then your sister, your Dad and numerous friends. Today though, your heart is with your precious boy, who I know is lighting up Heaven. I know though my dear sister that you'd much rather have him back physically in your life, you miss him beyond mere words and long to hold him again. One day, dear one, you will, and it will be for Eternity, never to part again.
Love you my dear AngelMom Marci and my special Candle is lit as well, to honor Sean Michael and you, his beloved family. May you feel him close to you today and may Our Lord give you some of His Peace.
Lots of love, prayers & Tender Hugs,
Sandy


selvam
8/10/2006 19:38

Hi my dear sisters. I am in need of prayers. I am trying to write Solange's obituary, yes, can you imagine? I am trying to write an obituary for my only daughter (child), it is so hard, but I always do it, I want everybody to know that it is Solange's 48 months anniversary, yes it is hard, I could write a whole page in The Miami Herald, and still will not be enough of what I want to tell her.Please pray for me that God give me the strenght to go on. Thanks. Love Selva


Terry710
8/10/2006 19:43

I too understand your pain and loss. My son was murdered last year and sometimes the pain hurts so bad - I know nothing will ever replace our children - I pray that God grant you the strength and courage to continue on. It is so hard - some days you don't even feel like getting out of the bed. Please let me know how you deal with it and how you have come this far since your son's death.

God Bless you always


havelost4
8/10/2006 20:10

Father God, I lift my sister Selva up to You right now. Father, I ask You to give her the peace and the words of love to tell the world how much she loved her daughter Solange. Father, the ache and void is always present with Selva, but would You please give her peace right now. Father God, ease her pain and reassure her that You are with her and she has nothing to fear. Help her mind to be calm and alert and to be able to put down on paper the words that would help someone else in their loss. Surround my sister Selva with Your love, Father, and comfort her now and in the days ahead. Give her a sign, Father, that she is much loved and that she is not alone. Thank You, Father, in Jesus' name.
Amen.
LOVE YOU SIS!!
Charlene


havelost4
8/10/2006 20:21

Dear Terry710,
Welcome to this circle of healing where you can write out your thoughts and feelings and not be afraid of misunderstanding or rejection. Our sister Sandy is on vacation this week but hopefully she will check in soon and reply to you. Many of the moms here are still hurting; how can you not hurt when your child and a part of your heart are gone? The first year after the loss of a child, no matter what their age, is one of shock and disbelief. Some have said that even the second and third years are the same as the first. NO ONE who has lost a child ever gets over the loss, you just learn how to go on and live with it as best as you can. Your loss has got to be awful since I'm sure you feel anger toward the person who murdered your son. The death of a child is not easy to deal with at all and it has to be heartwrenching to know your child was murdered. I won't speak for Sandy, but I know she has been through grief support groups and she has helped so many of us here to learn how to go on. I haven't lost a child but I've lost 4 grandchildren; that's not the same as losing a child, but it is still an awful pain that I wouldn't wish on anyone. I get through by coming here to post. These dear ladies have helped me tremendously by 'listening' to me and by sharing their love with me. You couldn't have come to a better place. May God bless you and make His face shine upon you and give you peace.
Love and prayers,
Grandma Charlene
Baby boy: 2-25-89 (adopted 3-89)
Michael: 3-27-89 (stillborn)
Casey Marie: 1-7-92 to 12-1-04
Carey Grace: 3-18-94 to 12-1-04
http://mylovelygarden.com/2beautifulgirls.html


sfss50
8/10/2006 21:08

Dear Lord, Thank you for the gift of our Child, the wonderous miracle that you chose for us to love. Although their days here on earth were numbered you blessed our family with their presence. They brought joy,laughter,love & so much more into our lives. Thank you for there beautiful spirit which we'll always remember and hold dear to our hearts. For one day soon we'll be reunited with them in Heaven as one big happy family. May God Bless each and every one of us till then. Trust in His Will!


Merlock
8/10/2006 21:27

O Holy Lord, King of the Universe and Loving Father to Us All,

Please bless Shane and all the other spirits of the dead---each a child of Yours and of mortal parents---to reach Your Eternal Glory and Love, and bask in Your Caring Presence; bless us all that we may one day be with You, and bless all those who mourn the deaths of loved ones. Be with and bless all, please, in this world and the next, and thank You for Your countless blessings and Love;

In Your Holy Name,

Amen.


mis4mary
8/10/2006 22:26

As a grieving mother, who lost her beautiful son Kristian, at the age of 23, I send my prayers and ask God to comfort and give you strength. Without my faith I know I would not have come far--it will be three years September 29th. The pain does not lessen with his passing. He died proudly serving his country and I believe our Father saved his life--Kristian is always around me as I know your child is always around you


mis4mary
8/10/2006 22:38

It's amazing how we feel like it happened yesterday and sometimes too long-way too long. I hear his voice, his laugh, and sometimes his mucic. When I pray I always think I am one day closer to holding him and seeing his face again. It doesn't occur to me that that could be a morbid thought, but rather something that gives my heart some peace. The tears fall without warning and sometimes the world stops for a minute or two. God is truly amazing! He allows our children to visit us in our dreams and awaken memories that you would never think would have lasted. You always think the "big" moments would come to mind, but, lovingly, the smallest memories seem to mean the most. I can't wait till I can talk to all of you. I am probably up by myself at this hour. My son has a site, set up by his brother-in-law, that you are all welcome to visit--actually, it would mean alot. www.kristianparker.com


jpot
8/10/2006 23:52

I just found this site. I wish I had it in 1979. My 8 week old daughter died then. She died of sids and I found her. This anniversary was especially hard. I think it was because it was 27 years ago and I was 27 at the time, which means my life had doubled since then. Having a perspective of all those years I can say life does go on. Some years are worst than others. It was hard the year she would have gone to kindergarten. I watched the other children board the bus and new my Elizabeth was not there. Age 13 was another hard time, I actually wrote her a letter then. The year she would have been 24 was by far the hardest. I cried for several weeks and could understand why. I realized that I had never grieved for Elizabeth because I wasn't allowed to. The pastor at our church actually told be I couldn't cry after her memorial service. Even after we left that church, my husband was adament that I not cry. My brother died two years after Elizabeth and I just hardened my heart and did not cry for 20 years. Three years ago, I found myself in a safe place, with a safe roommate and the grief felt overwhelming. My roommate and friend, Kathy allowed me to talk and feel anything I needed to. That's when real healing began. I was stuck for 24 years with no outlet for my grief. I write this to encourage all of you to be true to yourself and allow yourself to grieve for as long as it takes. When I was stuck, I actually felt nothing for many years which contributed to severe mental illness. I also get angry when I read things like the "loss of a child." Elizabeth is not lost, she's in heaven for reasons I don't understand. I can trust in the faithfulness and steadfast love of my Heavenly Father. He didn't need her to be an angel. I don't believe he took her, our fallen world is responsible for that. I do believe he embraced and welcomed her when she entered Heaven. My prayers are with all of you as you go through the process of finding God during your grief.


twoSammy
8/11/2006 01:30

I'm new to all this, I find grief is a strange animal, it strikes when you least expected it. I not sure what I feel anymore. My 19 year old daughter was recently killed in a car accident 3 months ago. I've gone through the numbness stage, the I'm strong one, and when I let my guard down I find myself in utter despair walking a very lonely road. I can only say that I have been fortunate to have a strong support system in my family and friends, however it does not ease my broken heart. Nothing will ever be the same. I don't understand God's Decision, although I have come to accept it. My daughter & her boyfriend had a 5 month old son,they were living with me & my family. At the time of her death her boyfriend received pressure from his family to move out with the baby.I thank God it didn't happen, Yet I'm heart sick over the day he decides to move out with the baby. His family won't let up. At this point & time its become a monetary isssue for them. I understand the anxiety that grandparents have experienced when they not only lose they're child but also they're grandchild because some one else decides who gets to be in their lives... Its a double tragedy.


havelost4
8/11/2006 09:22

Dear sfss50 and Merlock,
Thank you for your posts here! Yes, the love we shared with our child/grandchild will never be forgotten; and we can let them be safe in our loving Father's arms. I have 3 plaques for the three grandchildren now in heaven; they say: 'I am not lost but living still, walking in angel's gardens hand in hand with Jesus'. I know my very much loved grandchildren are not 'lost' because I know where they are. That is just a word we use here because it describes how we feel that a part of our lives is lost, never to be regained here on this earth. No, they are not 'lost' but are safe in the arms of God; but we will never be the same as long as we live here on this earth, because of them no longer being with us. Thank you for your prayers.
Grandma Charlene
Baby boy: 2-25-89 (adopted 3-89)
Michael: 3-27-89 (stillborn)
Casey Marie: 1-7-92 to 12-1-04
Carey Grace: 3-18-94 to 12-1-04
http://mylovelygarden.com/2beautifulgirls.html


Shaner
8/11/2006 09:26

Hello dear Terry and I warmly welcome you to the Circle too. I'm so sorry to read about your son, tragically taken by the hand's of another. I know that pain intimately that you're in right now, 24/7. Losing one of our precious children is a very complicated grief that affect's every part of our live's. And it's oh so painful, a pain like no other. I felt as though someone had reached into my chest and pulled part of my heart out and i suppose that's true because a piece of our heart goes with our child.
I remember the first year wanting so badly to die myself, I'd lay in the dark and beg God to take me home too, I wanted to be with my Shane. One of my saving Grace's was to attend a local Support Group for Bereaved Mom's, where I could freely share my feeling's with other Mom's who had many of the same. I learned how important it was to share how I felt and cry as much as I wanted or needed to, without someone telling me "You should be happy, your son's in Heaven". I didn't want him in Heaven, I wanted him back here with me!
Time is a grieving Mom's best friend and so is someone who's willing to stand beside you and walk with you on the Journey of Grief. Give yourself plenty of time to grieve and don't listen to other's who tell you that you need to get on with your life, your life as you once knew it has gone and it take's a lot of time to adjust to the new one.
I can guarantee you though that in time it won't hurt as badly, the 24/7 pain will slowly ease up and you'll learn how to live with your grief, you will be able to smile, laugh again, just in a different way.
Please keep posting here, this Circle is a very safe place to let your feeling's out, we've all done it, whether it was anger, guilt, or a loving ear to listen to how you feel.
I can promise we'll walk beside you on your Journey with love, support, understanding and never any judging, your feeling's will always be validated here. I care, we care!
So please consider this your Circle too and post again,
Love, prayers & Tender Hugs,
Sandy


havelost4
8/11/2006 09:30

Dear mis4mary,
Thank you so much for posting here! My heart goes out to you in the loss of your son. You should be proud that he was willing to serve his country and protect her freedoms. He died an honorable death for ALL OF US. Three years is not very long, not compared to his 23 years of life. I'm glad you have your faith in God to carry you through; some days that's all we can depend on isn't it. The pain NEVER goes away but does lessen over time I'm told. I'm proud of you for allowing your son to serve his country. I don't know if that gives you any comfort or not, but it makes me feel proud to know you. I would like to give you a big hug and tell you in person THANK YOU. I hope these words convey to you what I'm feeling for you; if not, may God show you somehow that your son was VERY important in serving his country.
Love and prayers,
Grandma Charlene
p.s. When I finish posting here, I'm going to visit Kristian's site.


Shaner
8/11/2006 09:33

Hi Merlock, what a wonderful surpise to see you posting here, thank you so much on behalf of myself and all the other Moms and Grandmas! I believe you posted at the Catholic Talk Board where I'm the Moderator while I was away on vacation.
You don't say in your Post, but I pray you haven't lost a child yourself - if you have though, please let us know.
This is very sweet of you, may God bless you today in whatever way He know's you need,
Love & Angel Hugs,
Sandy


havelost4
8/11/2006 09:42

Dear jpot,
I know how you feel. Don't you hate those words? But you can rest assured that the moms here KNOW what pain you are describing and how it feels. I am sorry that you didn't allow and weren't allowed to grieve. I know how that feels. My two grandsons were 'lost' to me in 1989. I didn't allow myself to grieve then because I didn't know how. I thought Christians weren't supposed to be sad and cry. Then when we 'lost' 2 granddaughters in a car wreck in 2004, the bottom fell out of my world. I was in shock for at least 3 months and then I couldn't stop crying. It wasn't until I found this prayer circle and started posting here that I realized that I was grieving for all 4 of the grandchildren that we no longer had here with us. The tears have been frequent and somedays nonstop, but I feel like my burden is lighter because of the dear sisters here who have shared my tears and my burdens. I tried to explain my reasoning for the word 'lost' in my post to sfss50 and Merlock. I know my grandchildren are not lost as far as not knowing where they are, but they are lost to this life and to my arms and to my heart that aches to talk to them or hold them once more. I KNOW that someday I will see them again, but that doesn't stop my tears. My daughter isn't grieving; by that I mean that she stopped crying just a few months after the car wreck and has said that she 'got over it' then. I don't believe that and I pray and pray that God would open her eyes so she doesn't have to suffer silently with it all inside her. THANK YOU SO MUCH for sharing your story.
Love and prayers,
Grandma Charlene


havelost4
8/11/2006 09:48

Dear twoSammy,
Yes, you are still in shock and disbelief that your dear daughter is no longer here with you. Just 19! Such a young age. I am glad, though, that you have support from your family and friends. It's VERY important that they let you grieve whenever and however you need to. Only you know the pain that you are going through; none of them lost a daughter like you have. I pray to God that you will be allowed to keep your grandson if that's what you want. That fear of his being taken from you is very draining so don't allow yourself to dwell on it. Just keep on keeping on one day at a time and one moment at a time so you can give him a wonderful life and legacy of his mom.
Love you and praying for you!
Grandma Charlene


Shaner
8/11/2006 09:52

Hi ms4mary, a very warm welcome to this Circle of Love. I can relate so strongly to what you say in your Post, visiting our child in our dreams, remembering the small thing's that brought us so much joy and love, and how it does seem sometimes to be a long time and other's like yesterday. I've said it before, God is very gentle and good to us grieving Moms, He can't take our pain away of course, but He give's us other Grace's to help us on this Journey.
I don't know if this give's you a measure of comfort or not, but I too thank you for your son defending the right's of freedom and dying for his Country!. I definitely hope we'll see more of you here, where you can safely talk about your Kristian and your sense of profound loss.
Love, prayers & Angel Hugs,
Sandy


havelost4
8/11/2006 09:52

Hey Sandy!!
When I logged on this morning and saw all the new posts I thought then that now was not a good time for Sandy to be gone on vacation. :o) Not that Selva hasn't been doing a wonderful job filling in, but she's got a lot on her plate right now with Solange's homegoing date coming up. Thank you so much for posting here and I hope that you had a very wonderful vacation and feel all rested and revived now. :o) Sometimes we have to come home and rest up from our vacations! :o) I just felt the words coming to my mind so I had to answer these new posts while they were fresh on my mind. It's good to see you posting too and welcome back!
Charlene


Shaner
8/11/2006 10:09

I have to leave now dear sweet Moms, I have an appt. to go to but after I will be back to post to the rest of you precious Moms,
Love & Angel Hugs,
Sandy


Shaner
8/11/2006 10:13

Hi dear Charlene, yes, I was back from our Vacation on the 9th as I posted, but you're right, I had to rest a day from it,, :-). It was a wonderful one but like all of them, too short.
Thank's for the welcome back and thank YOU for helping our dear sister Selva out, you're such a blessing to this Circle!
Much love, prayers & Hugs,
Sandy

 
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