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Shane Whalen
This Prayer Circle is Dedicated to my son Shane Whalen Who Passed Away On March 15, 1999 at the Age of 24, & All Other Children


Start a prayer circle for bereaved parents who have lost a child.


There are many of us out there who have lost a child, and it is devastating. It changes the outlook on life, plunges you into a depression, and you think that the feelings and thoughts you have nobody else could possibly relate to. I think a prayer circle for bereaved parents would only benefit us and help us on our journey of grief. This Circle is one of Love, where a Grieving Parent can safely come to for Prayers, and to talk about their feelings.

 
Shaner -10/14/2000
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selvam
8/1/2006 19:30

My dear sister Ms. V. So great to see a post from you, AY Ms V. what am I going to do with you! Your house is full of people and if I know you (which I do) you are right in the middle of it, having BBQ ribs, cornbread, and then God forbid going to Taco Bell with Steven and Ashley, ha ha, then walking 3 miles, you better, as a matter of fact you should go to play nickels but you should walk there. Really Ms. V. I am sure that you will do just fine, pretty soon you will be going fishing. You promised that you are going to be fine so that i can go fishing with you and cook some cuban food, so I am waiting to hear that Ms. V. is officially in great shape, certified by her doctors, and I will be there, In the meantime you know I always keep my eye and you and then go and tell The Rues on you. My Healing Lights and prayers are always with you my dear sister. Love Selva


selvam
8/1/2006 19:37

Hi dear sister Connie. So good to see you posting again. I am glad that you came back to your Circle of Love. So sorry about your friend, it is a terrible thing to loose a child and a granchild like our dear TenDots, like our dear sister Charlene knows, grandchilds are just like our own child, after all it comes from our children too. I will never be a grandmother, my Angel Solange was my only daughter, that is another part of this complicated pain, my friends' children who grew up with Solange, are getting married and having kids, my friends show off their grandkids and of course share with me because I also love their kids, but it is also very very painful. It is part of the mission like I call it, but OMG what a mission. My love and prayers to you my dear sister. Selva


selvam
8/1/2006 19:43

My dear sister Anita. You are such a sweet Angel sister. Guess what? Sometimes I close my eyes and try to imagine all my sisters in the Circle of Love. I have seen pictures of my dear dear Angel in Chief, Ms V., Deb, Lisa. Jenn, but the rest I just imagine, and when I think of you, I think of a very sweet and petite lady, when I think of Charlene, I think of a very beautiful, strong and sweet lady, oh well, that is what I think whenever I pray for you Angel sisters, I try to imagine you in front of God so I can tell Him your names and make sure He listens to my prayers. Love Selva


selvam
8/1/2006 19:55

My dear dear sister in Chief and all my Angel sisters. I have a special request today. I think that you might heard the news (it is all over) that the evil Fidel Castro is ill and have ceded his power to his also evil brother in Cuba. Anyway, I am sure that he is already death, due to the terror that is going on in Cuba, they can not afford to say he is dead, so they have to invent "a surgery" which is the best excuse to gain time. Anyway, as you all or might know now, I am a Cuban american (born in Cuba)I have been here for 47 years and it is a long story. Miami is just going crazy since last night, the cubans here know that he is dead, but we are doing the "waiting game" I know it sounds "cruel" that we are celebrating the death of another human being, but he is not human, he is the devil (and excuse me Mr Devil) he is even worse, I lost most of my family in the firing squads, just because they were not comunist, right now all I have is my brother and sister, and in Cuba only one cousin, because he killed the men in the family and the rest died due to the grief and cruelty. So anyway if you can, pray so that Cuba will be free again, he passed all his power to his brother who is as evil as he is, the people in Cuba are inside their houses and don't dare to say a word because the army is in the streets, (even if you don't hear this on CNN). Please my dear sisters, pray so that freedom comes to my country and that those poor people in Cuba will live like "persons" again, right now they are all his slaves.Castro is a big lie, and so is his illness right now, the guy is death, believe me. Thanks for your prayers. Selva


Shaner
8/1/2006 20:52

Hi my dear, dear sister, you know that my prayers are with you, who came to America when you were so very young and had such hard times, and everyone else that had to leave their beautiful Country because of Castro.
My prayers are also of course with the peoples of Cuba, for all they go through on a daily basis with a terrible Dictator like Castro. Most people think the same as you, that he is dead already and they're just buying time.
I pray that freedom will come to the Cuban people finally, it is a God given right to live in freedom, not fear and suppression.
May God bless Cuba and her people, and let the chains of Communism and Dictatorship fall to the floor, where they beloong.
Praying for all, my dear sister,
Lots of love, prayers & Hugs,
Sandy


havelost4
8/2/2006 09:11

My dear sister Selva,
Thank you so much for your kind comments about me; but I'm just an ordinary human being who needs you all and is trying to reach out in return. My heart wants to take care of you but my body can't do it like I used to. I'm learning that I need to pay attention to my needs and take better care of myself; unfortunately that means that I have to say no to some others including my children sometimes. I hope this is just temporary because I have always loved to give and give and give to others. I need to find a balance in taking care of myself and giving to others; I guess that comes with maturity? HaHa! You would think that at my age I'd be mature already! :o) You are a very special lady and I appreciate that you take the time at the end of your work day to post letters to each one here. I appreciate your caring heart; it's like we're not only your sisters but also your children that you are trying to mother. :o) You have a big heart. I'm so glad that God saw fit to send you here to the USA out of the bondage of Cuba. I'm sorry that your family is lost and/or torn apart by this evil man. Some day they will get their reward, but how many people have to suffer in the meantime? I pray that you have a good day today. God bless you!
Love and prayers,
Charlene


Shaner
8/3/2006 20:50

Hello my dear AngelMoms and Sisters

Tomorrow afternoon we're leaving on Vacation, a nice family one, with our son Chris, his girlfriend and her Parents! Very much looking forward to it, could you please say a prayer for us for safe travel?
I've left the Circle in our dear sister Selva's most capable, loving hands, I doubt there'll be any problems but I feel much better knowing that she will be here to check-in on it. Love you my dear, dear sister.
My prayer life doesn't go on vacation though, I'll be praying for all everyday as I normally do, especially for those precious moments of peace that our loving God give's us.
I'll be back on the 9th,
Love you all!
Sandy


selvam
8/4/2006 18:31

Hi my dear Angel sisters. I was going to post to let you know that our dear Angel in Chief was going on a much needed vacation for a few days with the family but I just read she already posted. We all know that all of us are in this together, but everytime she has been ill or whatever I always volunteer to keep an eye on our Circle, but she also knows that all of us are together in this, just in case a new mom comes into the circle, all of us already have the experience of welcoming and guiding them. I have been working long hours lately and I Thank God for it, this month is a rougher than others except for December, it is so very hard on me. Last night I received an e mail from one of Solange's friends from elementary school, she lost touch with Solange maybe a few months before Solange left, because they moved upstate Fl, she kept on calling our number, but because I moved with my sister, she never had an answer, anyway, through the internet she found out what happened and she was in shock, she managed to get my sister's phone number and then my sister explained, she left her phone number but I just could not gather the strenght to call her, I did sent an e mail, and she answered back, it was so hard my dear sisters, I remember Monica, staying at my house for the weekends with Solange, and also Solange staying at their house, actually it was the only family that I left Solange to stay with, she felt so bad, so you can imagine, explaining to her, and how she feels her little sister is gone from this Earth, and specially this month. To tell you the honest truth, I never thought I was going to survive for 48 months, and in a way I feel guilty for surviving, can you understand that? sometime you will. I keep asking God for a heart attack and He refuses, He also knows that I will not take my life because I believe in Him, even if that thought have gone through my mind, many times, my Faith in Him have kept me from doing it. See? I have no other children, all I have is my brother and sister and I am sure they would understand, but I am affraid if I do it, I will never be with Solange again, and I want to make sure that I will and this time FOREVER. I know that you all understand. Please pray for me a little harder this month, I really need it. My love and prayers. Selva


havelost4
8/4/2006 19:09

Of course, Selva, you have our prayers! Along with our other sisters Verna and Marci, you are being constantly prayed for this month. We all know how awful the anniversary months are so we not only sympathize for you, but we also empathize with you. We, in a way, know what you're going through so we know that you need our prayers and love. Please post even if you feel overwhelmed so we know when you need fervent prayers or extra encouragement. We love you with a love that is shared only by us as sisters in grief, on this journey together through the rest of our lives. May God bless you today and every day this month!!!
Love and prayers and hugs,
Charlene


selvam
8/4/2006 19:23

Thank you my dear sister Charlene. I really need all your prayers. God Bless you my dear sister. Love Selva


astarte1225
8/5/2006 11:07

Dearest Selva,
YES, my prayers are with you! Sometimes we just get so overwhelmed with everything that we find ourselves thinking just like you did.But the Good Lord knows Best.You just let us know as you did this time that you need extra prayers.

Your daughter was very beautiful and I'm also sure that she and her cousins are having a good time up there.

Thank you for the lovely post' on Josh' memorial and on the circle for him and Kim.

Love you Sis,
Anita


selvam
8/6/2006 19:44

Hi my dear sister Anita. You are just a great human being, and I thank you for your prayers. I know that prayers work, that is why I pray twice a day, first in the morning and then at night when I go to bed, and be sure that I pray for all of you my dear sisters, I just pray for strenght, this is what we need, to keep on going, the Dear Lord have given me strenght to go on for almost 48 months, and that is what I need to keep on going until He decides that it is my time to go and be with my dear Solange and this time forever. Thanks all my dear sisters for your prayers. My love and prayers. Selva


arqt
8/7/2006 13:27

My Dearest Selva,
I feel your pain, sis! As Solange was your only child, Marcus was my only child, also. I hurt so much for you, because I have experienced losing an only child. I try so hard to focus on the positive, and to thank God for giving me those 10, precious, weeks, but I know it's hard to do. My heart is with you, always.


LOVE2U
8/7/2006 17:47

Hello my dear sisters. ~ I am working on a 10th anniversary post; but for some reason, hubby won't let me be today! haha; so I will try to finish and submit it later on tonight. Just wanted to let everyone know that I'm ok and praying for all. I'll also try to catch up on reading back post before submitting my post. He's taking me out to dinner so I guess I'd better sign off before he changes his mind! :)
Love and prayers always,
Verna


selvam
8/7/2006 19:17

Hi my dear sister Donna. I know that you understand. This pain that we are all going through is so complicated! I know that no one will replace another son or daughter, even if you have many, but it does makes your life a little busier trying to keep up with the other children, but for us the emptiness is so big and lonely. I know that solange and all the Angel Kids are taking care of Marcus with so much love, he is the little Angel that everybody wants to spoil, that I know, in the meantime we have to wait for our turn. I have no hope of having another child, age, no husband, no interest, so I will never be a grandmother, and that hurts, but I know that when my time comes to be with my daughter again, I will be so happy and who knows maybe I will be a grandmom in Heaven. If I go before, you can make sure that I will take care of little Marcus and really really give him my love and care, although I know that Jesus is doing that already, but I will ask Him to let me do it for a while. Love you my dear sister and my prayers are with you and all the Angel sisters. Selva


selvam
8/7/2006 19:24

My dear Ms V. So good to see you posting, and now, you better watch what you eat with hubby, no Taco Bell, ha ha, I know that he will not take you there. Our Angel in chief is on vacation, Jialin's parents came from China for a visit, and they are going with them out for a few days, she really deserves a vacation, she will be back next wednesday (maybe, they are going to Niagara Falls so I hope it will be another honeymoon ha ha). We miss you here Ms V., but at the sametime I hope that you are taking VERY GOOD CARE OF YOURSELF, I am watching you. Enjoy your dinner my dear sister. My love and prayers. Selva


LOVE2U
8/8/2006 01:55

Hi my dear sisters, :) Below is the rambler I promised in my last post. Selva, after dinner, I did just what you said; I went and played a few coins and even won enough to get our grandsons school uniforms out of layaway! He is 7th grade now ... Can you believe it? :)That is why I am just getting around to submitting this post. :) Hubby doesn't play but don't mind me going as long as I promise not to over spend. :) It's fun, plus it's a part of my angel mission. I can't count the times I've met angel moms there. And they always want to talk! :)There was one playing right next to me. Her son fell asleep at the wheel and was killed instantly six years ago. We gave each other a hug and talked for a long, long time. Of course I encouraged her, and told her about our circle of love. She said she didn't have a computer but said she would try to look it up on her job. Since I had won a little, I left her a few coins to play. I was blessed so I wanted to bless her. :) She looked at me as if to say, "Are you crazy?" Ha-ha! It was only 70 quarter credits left on the machine, but she was broke so I told her to play it off and left. Oh I am so happy to hear that Sandy is taking a much needed and deserved vacation! I will certainly pray for their safety and that they have a lot of fun! Much love to all my dear sisters and I will try to help mind the circle while Sandy is away, and to give you and Charlene a much needed break also. Thanks to all angel moms for helping to hold the fort while Sandy is away. We never know when we will have a new angel mom or dad join us. It helps to know that we are not alone especially the newly bereaved parents who find their way here. Thanks again, Charlene for the special day list and also thank you all for the prayers!
Love & Hugs to All,
Verna


LOVE2U
8/8/2006 02:31

Hello my dear sisters. ~ I was trying to wait until I felt a little less depressed before submitting a post - even though I know I shouldn‘t do that. :) Although I have been on my own grief journey for a long time now, sometimes it feels as though it was just yesterday that I received the sad news that my darling Diane had been killed in what was reported as a chain reaction crash involving 2 cars, 2 pickup trucks, and drunk driving. Diane was the front seat passenger in one of the cars. Although it will be 10 years on the 31st of this month since we lost her, there are still moments when I feel that the Verna that once was died that night back in 1996. Back then, I was a basket case; a time bomb, just waiting to explode. My baby daughter, Cheryl, and her precious little son, Steven had just come home for a visit, and to celebrate Diane’s, Steven’s, and my great niece, Antone’s birthdays. Little did we know that just days later, Diane would no longer be with us in the physical. Cheryl was 29 at the time and had just taken a flight back to TX where she was living at the time. Little did we know that she would be returning to help with funeral arrangements for her big sister a couple of days later. The added stress of worrying about her surviving the news, having to wait three days before I could even see my child; I tell you, it was a most difficult time. The only thing I planned on doing was to get though the funeral so that I could go on and die. But fortunately, God had something different in mind. So, here I am, ten years later trying my best to give back the kind of love, understanding and compassion that has kept me going for these many years. Like my dear sister Selva, and many other angel moms/grandmas; if it was up to me, I would not have made it through those difficult times. As we often tell our newly bereaved angel moms, there is no such thing as getting over losing a precious and beloved child/grandchild. With God’s help, we go on, but in a different manner. For a long time, I blamed God for allowing my child to die. A total of seven people were involved in the crash, but none had life threatening injuries; so my question for God was “why!” Why my child? What had I done? What had she done to deserve this? The time came, however, when I had to ask: “What had Jesus done?” “What had someone’s tiny baby done?” I am inclined to believe as one author states it; the question I needed to ask was: “Now that this has happened, what can I do to make a difference, to make life bearable until my time comes?” It took a while for me to reach a point where I could stop blaming God for what happened and realize that God was on my side. He is the one who gave me the strength to weather that untimely storm! Diane’s death angered God and broke His heart just it angered and shattered mine. I wasn’t there when it happened, but God was! I can’t imagine satan and his evil demons putting people in my path to help me bear my crosses in life. Can you? There is an old African prayer which states: “God is good all the time. All the time, God is good!” So, as I continue on my grief journey, it helps to know that God is on my side. I give praises to God for helping me to weather all of life’s storms; [and there has been many] but especially the one that took my precious daughter. To our newly bereaved angel moms/dads, as well as all others, grandparents too; just know that God loves you and your child/grandchildren, and He has assured us that we are His beloved children and that we will see our children/grandchildren again someday. And, oh what a day that will be! To God be the glory!

Much love and prayers to all,
Verna [aka Miss V.]
Diane’s Mom
8/16/60 ~ 8/31/96
Forever In Our Hearts


havelost4
8/8/2006 09:02

Thank you Miss V for your post!! I sit here with tears because I feel like I'm just now going through the 'phase' of wanting to die and be done with this world of pain. The problem with my shoulder and the pain that I'm having is really wearing on me; I was hoping that it would be a life-threatening disease so I could say 'okay, no more;I'm going home now and that's okay with me'. I was disappointed that it wasn't life-threatening and I have to endure the pain for a while longer. Without all you dear sisters to look forward to spending time with each day, I'm pretty much on auto-pilot right now. Thank you all for your encouragement right now about the special dates list; I feel like it's not enough to do but that's just the way I am. I want to help and I'm glad that I can do that little bit for you all.
I'm so glad Verna that you get to talk to other angel moms and help them. That must be very fulfilling. What a God we serve! He DOES bring good out of what was meant for evil; and He doesn't give us more than we can bear. (I have to keep reminding myself of that these days.) Thank you all so much for your encouragement and for letting us see into your heart, for sharing your pain and making me feel like I'm 'normal' like the rest of you. :o)
Remember to keep Marci in your prayers tomorrow on her Sean-Michael's homegoing date.
Love to you all,
Charlene


arqt
8/8/2006 13:25

Oh Charlene! I certainly understand the pain and grief, but don't EVER hope for a life threatening problem! Life is short enough, and we ALL NEED YOU! You have been such a blessing to this circle. I hate to even think about where I might be if it wasn't for Sandy, Selva, Miss V., YOU, and all the sisters (and brothers) here! Some days, this is the only place I can go to feel 'normal'.
Selva, thanks so much. You are always in my heart and prayers. I have very little hope for having any more children, due to the kidney disease, and age is becoming a factor rather quickly. I know that feeling of 'regret' that I will never know what it means to be a grandmother. I hear it's twice the love! Don't get me wrong, I do have a step-daughter, but it just doesn't seem the same. Maybe it's the grief of having lost the child that I actually gave birth to.
Miss V., I guess I should say 'shame on me' because I have put off posting here because I've been a little depressed. I don't want to post anything to bring down everyone's spirit. I think what depresses me is that the fluid retention, that the kidney disease causes, is in the form of 'pitting edema'. I take 80mg of lasix (in two doses), but the fluid just won't go away. So, when I sit down in the evening, and can press my shin, and see that 'pit', it is just a reminder that the kidney disease is still progressing. I get angry with myself for being depressed about it, because I know there are so many with worse problems than mine. Then, I guess I let myself believe that everyone would be better off if I would just disappear. Hence, I don't post here.
I read the posts, and my heart aches when we get new members to our exclusive club. This certainly isn't a club we asked to join. I thank God that the new moms have found this circle, and hope that they find the strength to continue coming back. It certainly was a Godsend in my life.
Here's to the 'Angels on Earth' who keep this circle going! I Love You ALL!

Butterfly (((HUGS))) and kisses!
Donna


selvam
8/8/2006 20:05

Ay my dear sister Donna. Remember this: We are here for one another, that means that when you are feeling depressed this is when you have to post my dear sister, this is a Circle of Love, not a circle of happiness, and that is why we are all here, to understand and comfort one another. We only expect to cheer when you are happy but in the meantime, none of us are, this is a safe Heaven, and when you need prayers, this is the place to come, please understand that, and also know that prayers works, and specially OUR PRAYERS, I always say, that I think God owe us a little extra attention, I believe that, and when we pray so He just listens a little harder, so you need our prayers for your health, and I am sure that all our Angel Sisters will pray for you (me too), so count on it. Yes we will not be a grandmother here on Earth, but we will as soon as we get there, after all, can you imagine all those handsome Angel kids that are together now, oh, I am sure there will be Angel grandbabies too, we will be gradmom and this time FOREVER my dear sister. Please, please, post here and request prayers, that is what we are here for, all of our Angel Sister will be more than glad to pray for you. My love and prayers are with you my dear sister. Selva


selvam
8/8/2006 20:09

Ms V. What a great pleasure to read your posts, ha ha, I knew you were going to the Nickel place, God Bless you, you are such a great human being, I know that Diane is smiling and showing off about her dear mom, but I also know that Diane wants you to take care of youself, I know my dear sister that you are doing your best. OMG, our grandson is going to 7th grade, just wait, now the girlfriends will start, with him been so handsome, I know that you are going to have your hands full. Take care my dear sister, remember that you have to be strong enough so I can visit and we will go fishing, going to the Nickel place and I will cook some cuban food also. Love you my dear sister. Selva


selvam
8/8/2006 20:25

My dear sister Charlene. I understand (we all do) what you are going through, let me tell you this, 2 years after Solange left, I had a very big accident, I broke my pelvis, a vertebrae, the coxis and then more, I hated that I survived the accident, I really wanted to die, it was my fault, I think that subconciously (forgive my spelling) I wanted to die in an accident, I went through so much pain, and I really enjoyed that pain, it was easier than the pain I was feeling in my heart, but after therapy and all that I survived, and I felt guilty once more I din't die. But I learned, that if God did not take me then, I will have to live and go on until He decides, yes my dear sister, He is the one who decides. I know that having a physical pain is hard but I will trade it anytime, the pain that you are having in your heart is even worse. I will pray for you everyday, I promise, I know that when you are feeling sick is even harder because your system is trying to get you better physichally, and it will, our bodies are design to cope with every illness, all we have to do is listen to our bodies, you know, my dad always though me to listen to my body, if I ever craved for some fruit, he will tell me, your body is telling you that you need some kind of vitamin in that fruit, the same if I craved for fish, he will say you need this and that, my dad was a vet, my grandfather was a medical doctor and in my family there were many medical doctors, but they were the town and country doctors and my dad specially, always toughed me to listen to nature. So just learn how to relax your muscles, the ones that are hurting, concentrate on them and relax it, then listen to your body. I can not offer how to relax your broken heart, my dad did not prepared me for that, so only God will help us with our deep pain, but remember, we have to deal with this world until God decides and we have to learn how to make the best out of it. Please be sure that I will be praying for you my dear sister. Love Selva


astarte1225
8/9/2006 11:12

Marci, dear sister you are in my thoughts and prayers today. I pray that God provides tender memories of your Sean-Michael as well as providing the comfort you need.
Love and Angel Hugs
Anita

 
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