Prayer Circles

My dear sister Anita. I know that every day is rough for us, but I also know that special dates are even worse. Be sure that all our special Angel kids are celebrating Josh birthday today, they are together my dear sister, and i know that his siter along with Solange and all our Angel kids are really having a great party for Josh, remember this, there is no death, they all moved to another realm, but they are still with us, they are very much alive together with God, and that wonderful place that we will all go to be with our children and This Time FOREVER, that I know. Happy Birthday my dear Joshua, have a ball today. In the meantime while we are here, we have to feel that pain, but always remember, we will be together again. My love and prayers (and prayers always works) Selva

My dear sisters.
Thank you for thinking about me today and praying for me. (yes,dear Selva prayers really work.)
I went to the cemetary today and then my husband and I carried a cross and put it where he was killed. It was stressful,yet I felt close to Josh.
Even though I miss Josh and Kim dearly i've come to realize I was truly blessed to have known both of them.
Thanks for the Angel Hugs too. I needed them.
Love you all
Anita

This is such a wonderful thing you are doing. My 20-yr old daughter passed away 5 days after giving birth in February 2006 to a gorgeous baby boy. She lived here at home with us and was so looking forward to having her baby and bringing him home. Her boyfriend and his parents took the baby home with them without so much as a word to us the day before Michelle died and we have seen the baby only 3 hours since. It is a very hurtful story that I could relate to you, but for now we hurt so badly that our Michelle died and left her baby son and knew him for only 3 and one-half hours. She was so wonderful and had decided that she would remain at home with us and raise her son. Sadly, God called her home. We were present for the entire labor and birth and are at peace with what happened. The father's parents are not. They have refused contact with us and Michelle's baby and now our prayer and hope is that when the child is older he finds us and is not prevented from doing so. I guess my husband and I pray for solace that God sustains us until we all meet in heaven but it sure is tough.

Dearest TenDOTS,
What a heartbreaking loss of not only your daughter but her baby as well, your grandson! I understand a LITTLE of what you're going through. Our middle daughter was 16 when she gave birth to a baby boy; we gave him up for adoption (a long story) and I've wanted to see him ever since. That was 17 years ago. I dream about the day when he'll try to contact some of us; we don't know if he's even still alive or where he is. I know what it's like to go through labor and delivery with your daughter. What a happy time that was wasn't it? Then your heart was torn in two when you lost the baby; and torn again when you lost your daughter. Why, God? What are You trying to teach us? There's so much pain in this life! I'm glad that you feel you are at peace, but the shock is really strong right now. Don't hold back your mourning because it will eat you up if you hold it in. Let God have His way in your life, but it's okay to question life's hard times. That's how we grow, if we allow Him to speak to us. I'm praying that you be allowed to see your grandson, that the gap will be dissolved between you and the baby's father and other grandparents. My heart goes out to you!
Love and prayers,
Grandma Charlene
Baby boy: 2-25-89 (adopted 3-89)
Michael: 3-27-89 (stillborn)
Casey Marie: 1-7-92 to 12-1-04
Carey Grace: 3-18-94 to 12-1-04
http://mylovelygarden.com/2beautifulgirls.html

Dear TenDOTS,
I just had another thought. Can you go before a judge and request grandparents rights? You should be able to see your grandbaby at least every other weekend or one weekend a month. It might be something you would want to check into.
Love and prayers,
Charlene

Dearest TenDots,
Welcome to the circle of love.We all know what pain you are going through with the loss of your dear daughter Michelle. My heart breaks for you. I will be praying for you and your family.
The way the baby's father and his family are treating you is awful. But I do agree with Charlene about going before a judge for rights to see your grandchild.
Please post again we are all here for you.
Love Anita

Good morning dear Charlene, I hope you had a nice weekend though it's not officially over yet. Thing's have been kind of quiet around here. Josh' birthday wasn't as hard as I figured it would be but I know God gave me the strength to handle it.I don't know what I would do without all my sisters and I really don't want to find out.
I love you all.
Anita

Dear Anita,
Thanks for asking about me; I was just emailing Margie and telling her that I avoid people who tell me to 'get over it' (she's been dealing with that) and just spend most of my time posting at the prayer circle or emailing the ladies here now. You all are my TRUE friends because you understand. And I've been reading a good book about grief. It's titled "Experiencing Grief" by H. Norman Wright. It's VERY good and gives us permission to grieve in our own way and for as long as we need to. Not that we need anybody's permission, but it helps to know that it's 'normal' to just do what we need to do when we need to do it and for as long as we need to.
I've been having problems moving my left shoulder for several months and the past few weeks it's gotten very painful. I had an MRI done and my dr. tells me that I have a torn ligament on top of my shoulder. I've been just lying around for a couple of weeks because my arm aches so badly. We're trying some injections in the ligament to try to get it to build up collagen and become stronger; but right now the treatment is worse than the original pain. Hopefully the pain I'm having now though will be temporary and my arm will eventually heal. So, that's how my weekend is going. :o)
I just hate to depend on medication to get through the day, but right now I don't care; I just want the pain to go away.
I'm glad you got through Josh's birthday okay. It's almost a relief isn't it when the day itself is over. That way we know it's behind us and we don't have to dread it coming up. That's the way I feel anyway.
I'll probably post the special dates for August tomorrow; if anyone knows someone else who would like to be added to the list, let me know.
Love and prayers to you Anita!
Charlene
p.s. I agree that I don't know what I'd do without my special sisters here. If my computer ever breaks down I might just have a break-down with it. I think it would be called withdrawal. :o) Love to you all!!

Dear Shaner,
How I cried as I have sat here for hours reading the many entries to your posts. I too lost my son SHANE. His name was Adam Shane we always called him Shane as it is such a beautiful name. He died almost 2 yrs ago on Nov 17 2004 of a life long cardiac problem, Oh how my heart breaks, I know the pain of watching the world go by without the joy of having my son beside me, he was and continues to be my world. I miss him so...I can only continue to go on knowing that If I live my life as God intends I will have the priviledge of being reunited with Shane again. He was only 14 years old and was so wise beyond his yrs. If anyone can offer suggestions for a grieving heartbroken mom please feel free to send them to imelda837@yahoo.com
I love and miss you baby!

Please pray for our family as it has been torn apart after our son Shane's death.
Adam SHANE Taylor
9-22-90--11-17-04
Imelda Garcia Taylor

Hi Everyone! :) I'm doing ok with the help of the Lord. I know it's been a while since I've posted. You would not believe how busy I've been. Right now I have approximately 15 people in my home. :) We had a surprise visit from our other daughter: [my step-daughter] and her three grandchildren. Other family who live here joined in and decided to give a barbecue while they're here. Right now, I have my hearing aid turned OFF, so that I can hear myself THINK!!! Seriously though, it's been a lot of fun, just having my step-daughter, and all the great-grands around for the first time in almost a year. My step-daughter, Dinah, is the one who unfortunately was hit by a car [just as she stepped out of her car] in 2004, and had both of her legs broken. Fortunately, and with lots of faith and prayer she is on her feet again; walking as good as ever, and testifying for our Lord. I think I told y’all that I graduated from the cardiology rehab program that was covered by our insurance; so now, I must go to a paid program and continue exercising, and walking my mile a minimum of 3 times a week. So keep praying for me and y’all know that I will do the same for everyone here; whether I get to post as often as I used to or not.

A warm welcome to our new angel moms who have joined our circle of love since I was last here. Please know that my heart goes out to you due to your loss and I will keep you in my heartfelt prayers. Although it will soon be ten years since I lost my beautiful daughter, I know for a fact that I would not have made it this far without the Lord and the prayers of my fellow angle moms, and others. So, I thank God for my sisters each and everyday.

Y’all, I gotta get back to my crowded now. I will try hard to post again soon!

Love and Angel Hugs,

Verna [aka Miss V.] : )

Dearest Adamshanesmom,
Welcome to our circle of love. I am so sorry for the loss of your son.I know how you feel but it's important to let your grief out.Even in small ways if you have to.My heart breaks for you and your family.I will remember you in my prayers. Love Anita

My Dear MissV,
So glad to see you posting again.(I thought you had forgotten us)I'm glad you're getting to spend time with your family though.Just go easy on the party dear sister or we'll have to blab to Selva. Love you, Anita

Dear adamshanesmom Imelda,
My heart goes out to you in your grief! Losing a child/grandchild has to be the hardest trial of this life; not only does it change your life but it also changes all your relationships. Other people have a hard time understanding how you feel because they CAN'T know how you feel; unless they are a mother who has lost a child, they don't know what you are going through. And each person's grief is unique in that no two people's circumstances are exactly the same. I'm sorry your family is having problems; one of the hardest things my husband and I have had to deal with is that the aching hurt is so deep that we have trouble reaching out to each other. When each of us needs the other one the most, we can't seem to be able to help the other one; each of us needs so much help that it's hard to put out the effort to help the other one. I'm praying for you! I've heard Sandy say so many times to moms that you are in the early stages of your grief, so give yourself permission to grief whenever and wherever you are. It hits us unawares sometimes, in the store, at church, traveling on the road; we just have to let it out and not hold it in because holding it in will make it harder on us physically and emotionally. I have lost 4 grandchildren, the first 2 in 1989 who I never allowed myself to grieve for. Then when I lost 2 granddaughters in a car wreck in 2004 my world fell apart. Now I'm grieving for all 4 of the ones I've lost and that's making it harder to get through.
God bless you today Imelda!
Grandma Charlene
Baby boy: 2-25-89 (adopted 3-89)
Michael: 3-27-89 (stillborn)
Casey Marie: 1-7-92 to 12-1-04
Carey Grace: 3-18-94 to 12-1-04
http://mylovelygarden.com/2beautifulgirls.html

Hello TENdots, aw, sweetie, I'm so sorry to read about your loss, your beloved Michelle and then if that wasn't bad enough, losing your beautiful grandson, although I also pray that hearts are changed and you can see him very soon.
There is nothing more painful for a Parent to endure than the loss of a child and all of us know that stinging pain oh so well. It turn's your world that you once knew upside down and rip's your heart in two. The day my Shane died, a part of my heart went with him and I'm sure that's how you feel about losing your Michelle. The pain is so bad, especially in the beginning and I consider you newly bereaved, you just lost your daughter in January, not very long ago. You probably still expect her to come through the door, or pick up the phone and hear her voice, God, in His great wisdom, put's us into a shock and disbelief stage for a while until we can slowly approach the reality phase. I hope you have good support around you, now you also have us and whenever you're ready to tell your story, we'll be here to listen. No pressure though, only when you're ready. Remember, love is Eternal, not even death can break it, so the love you and Michelle have for each other is still there and always will be. Our love, prayers and support are here for you, there's never any judging, this is a safe haven for you, so please post again,
Love, prayers & Angel Hugs,
Sandy

Hello dear Imelda, I'm so happy you found us, but very sorry for the reason why, God love you. What a nice coincidence, your precious son's name is Shane too. I can feel your pain right through your Post dear one, the pain is so hard to deal with, it's with you 24/7 and you feel as though you're in a black hole that nobody else could possibly understand, but we do, we all know that pain so intimately. I felt the same way as you, I didn't think that I'd ever feel happiness or joy again, but in time it returned, just in a different way. Give yourself as much time as you need to grieve, don't listen to others who tell you that you should be over it by now, you never get over losing a child, but in time you do learn how to live with it, that I promise you.
The death of a child in a family can and does affect it, the dynamics of a family change and sometimes Moms and Dads grieve very differently, men sadly have been taught to be strong and hold it all in, and that can lead a Mom to think he doesn't care, but trust me, he does. It can definitely affect your marriage though as well as other children we may have, it affect's the whole family in different ways.
I'm glad you read some of the back pages, now you know you're not alone in your grieving, we al experience emotions we didn't even know we had, it's a difficult Journey. As I said though to TENdots, you have us now, and I pray you keep on posting to let the pain out, we're al here to give you love, support and prayers and ready to walk the Journey with you.
Love, prayers & Tender Hugs,
Sandy

Hi our dear Miss V, great to hear from you! Sound's as though you're having a good time with all the family visiting, that's really nice, :-). If it get's to be too much for you, tell them you have to take a nap, you still have to take care of yourself too!!
Yes, congratulations on your Rehab, you've realy done well on it, now you must keep yourself motivated to walk those 3 miles every week. Try Mall walking, most Mall's set aside a certain time in the morning for people to exercise, that's what I've been doing lately, it's just too darn hot here to walk outside. You can count on my prayers for you,
Lots of love & Angel Hugs,
Sandy

Evening to my sisters. Tendots my heart goes out to you on your loss and also losing your grandchild that same day. My best friend lost her 24 years old daughter suddenly like I lost my son. Her daughter came home from work to eat lunch and she never went back. They took her off the respirator four days later. They said she had a virus and was the second one to die from it that year (2002). She left a son who was a year old. His father came and took him from my friend because he found out the baby was getting the social security check. My girlfriend got a lawyer, even though the father had all the rights, she has visitation rights every two weeks. As our other sisters stated, us grandparents are giving rights as well. I pray for you because we all know the pain you are going through and I think you will be happy being in this circle as I am. My sisters here have opened up their arms to me, encouraged me and my family and just plain old being there when there's no one else who understands. Bless you my child, God will not leave you nor forsake you, just wait on Him and continuing posting. They all love us.

Sandy and Miss V. I enjoy walking and as Sandy stated, it's too hot. What I do now is I have this DVD and the name of it is Walking the Pounds away. They have 1 mile, 2 miles and 3 miles you can chose from. It's really a work out in front of your t.v., but you are walking and doing all over body moves. It's great and I have recommended this to a lot of people.

Hello dear sisters!
Today is August 1st so I want to post all the Special Dates for this month.

Marci: Sean-Michael Aug. 9, 2003(HD)

Selva: Solange Aug. 15, 2002(HD)

Verna: Diane Aug. 16, 1960(BD)

Verna: Diane Aug. 31, 1996(HD)

Please remember these sisters in prayer all of this month, especially on their special dates.
Thank you!
Charlene

Hi dear Connie,
Are you under this heat wave too? Oh my gosh, I think I'm starting to melt, ha, ha. Every year we say we have to get an air conditioner and by the time we get around to it, they've all been snapped up. That'll teach us for being procrastinators, :-). The DVD you recommended sound's like a good one, what's the name of it?
So sorry to hear about your friend's loss as well, but you have some good advice for other Grandma's who can't see their grandchild/children,
Love, prayers & Angel Hugs,
Sandy

Hi our dear Charlene,
Thanks for posting the August Date's for us all, you do a terrific job my dear sis and I thank you so much for it!
Much love, prayers & Angel Hugs,
Sandy

Hi dear TenDots. Welcome to this Circle of Love. I am so sorry about Michelle and also about the baby taken from you. There are no words my dear sister, just understanding , prayers and love. We all understand your pain, I lost my only child Solange, she was also 20 years old, 47 and a half months ago, and like all our sisters here, we know of the unique pain that only us who have lost a child could understand. Please feel welcome to post here as much as you need to, you will find lots of love and understanding, no judgement, you can vent out your pain, anger, disbelief, and everything that comes with this very complicated pain, and our prayers and love will be with you and family, prayers works my dear sister, I know because I could not have lived until now without it. My love Selva

Hi dear Imelda. I am sorry we have to meet this way but you have found the right place, like all the sisters here, I am sure that God put you in this path. Like I said to TenDots before, we understand this very complicated pain because we all are going through it. I had my days when my faith just trembled, I questioned God many many times, I am known here for telling it like it is, I just let my feelings out, sometimes I am angry, sad, in the Valley, like I said this pain is very complicated, but I always find understanding, love and prayers and this wonderful Circle of Love, that our Angel in chief Sandy, created in Memory of her son Shane, who is a very proud Angel kid and we chose to named him Angel Kid in Chief, now we have another Shane with all of our Angel kids in Heaven, along with Michelle , unfortunately for us, the group is getting larger, but they are all so very happy. My dear TenDots and Imelda, be sure that we will be together with them again, and this time forever. My love and prayers. Selva

My dear sister Charlen. Thanks so much for the wonderful work that you are doing with our lists, God Bless you , special days mean so much and are so hard on us, and you are keeping everybody updated so we can say and have special prayers which we all need so very much. You are an Angel that God sent to this Circle of Love and I Thank Him for it. My love and prayers. Selva