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Shane Whalen
This Prayer Circle is Dedicated to my son Shane Whalen Who Passed Away On March 15, 1999 at the Age of 24, & All Other Children


Start a prayer circle for bereaved parents who have lost a child.


There are many of us out there who have lost a child, and it is devastating. It changes the outlook on life, plunges you into a depression, and you think that the feelings and thoughts you have nobody else could possibly relate to. I think a prayer circle for bereaved parents would only benefit us and help us on our journey of grief. This Circle is one of Love, where a Grieving Parent can safely come to for Prayers, and to talk about their feelings.

 
Shaner -10/14/2000
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astarte1225
7/24/2006 21:45

Dearest Connie; a warm welcome to this circle.We know exactly how you feel.This is your circle too, so if you need to vent then do so. I am sorry we have to meet this way.But we are here if you need us. Love Anita


havelost4
7/25/2006 09:42

Dearest Connie,
You have come to a good place for prayers and support; these ladies have blessed me abundantly by their care and concern for me. I haven't 'lost' a child but I've lost 4 grandchildren; the most recent was 2 granddaughters (ages 10 and 12) in a car wreck in Dec. 2004. I know it's not the same pain as yours, but it is still pain that is unbearable at times. That's why we have each other to cry out to. May God bless you today and give you strength! I am 'in charge' of our Special Dates list here at the circle to keep everyone updated on each birthdate and heavendate for each child lost. If you would like to be included in this list, let me know your son's name, birthdate, and heavendate so I can inform all the others here; that way they can pray for you on those special dates. My email is mct1@ckt.net. I can also send you the entire list if you would like to be included. That would give you an idea of who is in this prayer circle and that they understand what you are going through.
Love and prayers to you,
Grandma Charlene
Baby boy: 2-25-89 (adopted 3-89)
Michael: 3-27-89 (stillborn)
Casey Marie: 1-7-92 to 12-1-04
Carey Grace: 3-18-94 to 12-1-04
http://mylovelygarden.com/2beautifulgirls.html


selvam
7/25/2006 19:49

Dear Connie. Welcome to The Circle of Love, like Anita said, I am also sorry we have to meet this way, but Thank God that you found this wonderful Circle of Love and understanding. I also lost my only child Solange, she was only 20 years old when God called her home 47 and a half months ago.We all understand your pain, only those who has suffered the ultimate pain of loosing a child or grandchild will understand, the rest, like friends and family, even though they all mean well, could never really understand what we are going through. There is no judgement here, only love, understanding and lots of prayers. You can vent all your grief, anger, doubts and all that comes with this so very complicated pain, we will all understand. Please keep on posting here whenever you want, we will be here for you my dear friend, this is a very safe Heaven, you will be part of this family for as long as you want. I Thank God for bringing me to this Circle, to this day I can't even remember how I found it, but I keep Thanking God every day for it, you will meet more of our Angel sisters, they are all lovable persons and our dear sister Sandy, which I call The Angel in Chief, for she was the one who created this Circle of love in memory of her dear son Shane. I am also sure that Derrick is in the company of all our Angel kids now, they will be together until is time for us to be with them again, and this time Forever. My love and prayers are with you my dear Connie. Selva
Solange's Mom
12/7/1981 - 08/15/2002


selvam
7/25/2006 19:59

Hi my dear sisters. Charlene I hope that the weather is not as hot as it was, I also read the problems in St Louis, it is really crazy all over, I blame it on Global warming, we are not taking care of Mother Earth and she is starting to get angry and that is scary. We are having very hot temperatures, it was 102F today, but in Florida you are ready for this heat, everywhere you go there is air conditioning, so it is really not a problem here, only in the winter, ha ha, when it goes below 50 (rarely) then is when we have problems, for a lot of people like in old houses don't have heaters, and then start to used portable ones which can cause fires, and of course hurricanes which can be very very nasty, so everybody has their problems with Mother Nature. Anita good to see you posting, I had a lot of work lately but it is getting back to normal now, so I will be able to post more often. Have not heard from Ms V. lately, I pray that she is doing OK with her therapy. My love and prayers are with all of you always. Love Selva


Shaner
7/26/2006 09:23

Hello dear Connie, I also warmly welcome you to this Circle of Love, just so sorry as the other sisters have said about the reason why you're here.
You've just recently lost your precious Derrick, the pain and grief must be so raw and tender for you right now, God love you. That had to be quite a shock, the way Derrick passed away for you. The majority of us here have experienced the same, one moment our child was fine and full of life, the next thing we experience is that they're gone and it's very hard to wrap your brain around it, especially in the first few years. We all know and we can all relate, so please post here anytime, this is a hard Journey to go through, only those of us who've suffered the ultimate of losses can really understand what other's can't possibly. We have an amazing group of women here who you can talk to and know that your feelings will be validated. Hang on tight to your faith, yes, God will be there for you in your time of great need!
Love, prayers & Angel Hugs,
Sandy


havelost4
7/26/2006 20:48

Dear Connie,
I know what it's like to try to take care of everybody else and let myself be last. It seems like that's what we were raised to be like: nurturers and taking care of others because they need us. We need to be needed. But I have realized that this grief is something that I can't survive if I don't start taking care of myself. I know what you mean about it eating you up inside; I've tried to be strong for others for so long that it's hard to even think about taking care of myself. But with God's grace I'm learning! It's hard! Especially when others expect me to carry on as usual. But nothing is 'as usual' any more. Our loss is so deep that we HAVE TO take a break, step back and take a deep breath, and ask God to help us learn to help ourselves.
I'm proud of you for having a memorial service for DC on his birthday. I will be praying for you and asking God to give you strength and peace that only He can give.
Love you dear sister,
Charlene


havelost4
7/26/2006 21:01

Hey sister Selva! Good to hear that your work is slowing down some. If it was cooler, maybe you could enjoy the beach too. :o)
It's some cooler here, just in the lower 90s now; not so bad in the mornings when I go out to water plants, etc. I've started walking again (for my health) so the cooler mornings have helped that. We're too far from town to go in every day to a gym or fitness center, so I get to enjoy the country air (cows and all)!! HaHa! I do enjoy the damp smell in the air early mornings; it reminds me of when I was a young girl and spending summertime at my grandma's house (back before air conditioning) and we would wake up to the sheep bleating and the ducks quacking outside our bedroom window. My uncle still lived at home at the time and the ducks were his special project; they were in a pen under a shade tree in the yard with their babies so we would get to help him water and feed them. The mamas could get out to go to the river for a swim but the babies stayed in the pen by the house. Good memories! I would also get to give the baby lambs a bottle once in a while and watch their little tails almost wiggle off because they were wagging so hard and fast. :o)
It's good to hear from you. Take care and don't get too hot getting out for work.
Love and prayers,
Charlene


angelcp
7/26/2006 21:19

Hello, I'm new to this circle I lost my nephew that I helped raised on the 16th of this month just one month short of his 35th birthday. We buried him yesterday and that was so hard to do. He was gunned down like he was a nobody, it hurts so much everytime I try to figure out what happened, and why? You see my sister pasted ten years ago and his father before then, so you see he was like a son rather then a nephew. I miss him so much.


havelost4
7/26/2006 21:40

Dear angelcp,
You've come to the right place to 'air' your grief. Such tragedy in this world! I feel for you! Yes, the passing is hard and then the burying is hard; then the living and the questions are hard too. Time helps us to learn how to deal with the pain, but it never really leaves us. You're probably in shock right now, and your having to deal with this senseless tragedy is nothing short of agony. A part of your heart has been torn out and it will bleed for a long time. Just keep posting and letting your grief out; I've learned the hard way that it hurts more to keep it bottled up inside than it does to let it out. We're here for you, so post as often as you want. You have our prayers!
Grandma Charlene
Baby boy: 2-25-89 (adopted 3-89)
Michael: 3-27-89 (stillborn)
Casey Marie: 1-7-92 to 12-1-04
Carey Grace: 3-18-94 to 12-1-04
http://mylovelygarden.com/2beautifulgirls.html


Shaner
7/27/2006 09:36

Hello dear angelcp, you're not 'new' anymore, you're part of this Circle of Love now.
What a horrible tragedy to have to live through, I'm so sorry you lost your nephew and in such a despicable way. You've just buried him and I know your world has turned upside down for you. We understand your shock, disbelief and pain here, so please, post as often as you like, as our dear Charlene said it's important that you let your feeling's out and this is a safe haven to do that in. May Our Lord wrap His loving arms around you and give you some measure of peace at this time, and yes, please post again,
Love, prayers & Angel Hugs,
Sandy


selvam
7/27/2006 18:42

Hi dear Angelcp. Welcome to our Circle, I am so sorry about you loss, it is so sad to loose a child, and I can tell by your post that you love him as your own child. Yes we understand your pain right now, the anger, the dispair and the whys, this pain is unique and very complicated, only with prayers, understanding and feeling the pain and crying, will make you feel just a little better, like our sisters said, don't keep it inside, you have to let it out, and please be sure that you can count with our prayers and understanding, we know of what you are going through right now, please post here anytime you need to, we are all here for ane another, and you are part of this Circle of Love. Selva


selvam
7/27/2006 18:56

Hi my dear sister Charlene. Ay you have so many wonderful memories! I love farms, as a matter of fact since i can remember I always wanted to live in a farm, my father had a small farm in Cuba when I was little, but we never lived there but I remember that I wanted to go every weekend and ride in a horse, it felt so good doing that, it was like I was in Heaven, I didn't get to do it many times because I needed someone to go with me, and take care of me etc. and didn't find many "volunteers" ha ha, I always said I was going to buy a farm and retire there, so I could take care of the animals (which I love) and plant everything that I will eat, anyway it has been my dream, but I am "almost" alone now, so it will be very difficult to have a farm, but I still dream , my Solange, was a city girl, she never really enjoyed the country site, beaches yes, ha ha, I used to kidd around with her and was always telling her, we are going to move to Dominican Rep and live in a farm, ha ha, she used to say, no way, I will just go and visit you. I bought a piece of land in a very small beach in Dominican Rep, I think that just maybe 100 people live there, the rest of the houses are just for people who go for weekends, and I am planning to move there when I retire, but this is also another dream, all I have is my brother and sister, my brother is a City guy so there is no way he is going to move there, and my sister is so ill, that I don't know if she will be able to move there so I just keep on dreaming. I have always said "If you want to make God laugh, just tell him "your plans", He has His won Plans, so He just smiles (and sometimes laugh) when we tell Him ours. Love and prayers my dear sister. Selva


selvam
7/27/2006 19:04

Hi my dear sisters. I am requesting prayers for our dear Sister in Chief. Her step dad is going through surgery today and he needs all the prayers we can do. Also our sister Sandy is awaiting to hear news about the surgery, please join me in prayers so that everything will turn out fine. I have not heard from Sandy since early today, so I am praying that God will help them all, and that the surgery will be succesful. Love Selva


havelost4
7/27/2006 19:50

Father God, I come before You now giving praise and honor to Your Holy Name. I ask You, Father, to grant our sister Sandy peace today as her stepdad has his surgery. Father, I ask for complete recovery for him, that he will be back on his feet soon. Father, I also ask that You will give them a sign that You are near them right now, in Jesus' Name.
Amen.
Charlene
p.s. Thank you Selva for mentioning this here for Sandy! Love you!


connienevada
7/27/2006 20:18

Hello All,I want to thank each of you for your encouraging and kind words. I truly know that I am with God's people. You just don't know how your words uplifted me a little higher. A point I have not been since DC's death. I will continue to pray for all of you as well and lift you all up in prayer. My daughter, her husband, and the rest of my grandkids are leaving tomorrow for a weekend get-away. We all need this and we are just trying to get our family back together even though a piece of it is with our Father. God Bless All of You and your family and I am looking forward to cyber mailing back and forth. Your Sister Connie


havelost4
7/27/2006 20:34

Hello Connie, I'm glad you were able to post again. Whatever you and your family feel like you need to do is what you should do. I'm slowly learning this. I didn't know anything about grief (especially how to grieve or that it was okay to grieve) until I came here to this circle. These ladies have started me on a healing journey that I don't think I would have ever found otherwise. It's not fun or pleasant, but stuffing it all in and not allowing myself to even cry was killing me physically and emotionally. It's going to be a long journey, but at least I have all of the sisters here to travel with. I know we all go at our own speed and in our own way, but at least we're all headed in the same direction together. You are in my prayers!
Love you,
Charlene


havelost4
7/27/2006 21:42

I have just recently read this poem and thought it described our relationships with each other here in this circle. I dedicate it to all of you!

THAT'S ENOUGH-- by Deanna Edwards

I can't remove your loneliness
Or heal your broken heart.
Can't take away the shadows
That make your night so dark,
But I can stay beside you
When life is getting tough.
If we come close together, that's enough.

I don't have all the answers
And I don't know what to say.
I can't bring you the sunshine
Or take the rain away,
But I can always hold you
When the storm is getting rough.
If we come close together, that's enough.

I had to learn so many things
And fail so many times
Before the day I finally realized
If we could take the sorrow
From every loss that comes along
We'd have to take the loving out of life!

I can't remove the dangers
From a world so full of fears.
I can't make living safer
Or take away your tears.
But I can always love you
With a love that you can trust.
And if we come close together, that's enough.


astarte1225
7/27/2006 23:09

Hello everyone. Charlene the poem was beautiful thank you for sharing it with us. It says so much.
Connie i'm glad to see you posting again. We all know what it is to lose a child and we are all here for you and for each other.
Selva dear sister I am so glad to see a post from you. I had started to think you had forgot about us.(ha ha)
Sandy, my prayers are with you and your family today. I hope all will be well.
Angelcp, welcome to the circle of love. I'm so sorry for your loss, we know all to well the pain and sorrow you feel right now. You are in my prayers.

Love you all,
Anita


honourandglory
7/28/2006 00:20

lord losing a child can not be a easy thing. but gaining your love and knowing you are present can help ease things. God you know how difficult it would be for the parents of shane. please father show your love and comfort them. when there is tears hug them and wipe their tears away, help them go pass grieve, keep their faith in u oh God. restore their hope in u. May ur blessing remain with the parents granting them peace and comfort. in jesus name amen.


astarte1225
7/28/2006 09:12

Dearest Honorandglory,
Welcome to our circle of love. Yes,losing a child is one of the hardest things a person ever could through. But with the Good Lord in our life we can manage.He does give peace when think we cannot possibly go on.
Love Anita


havelost4
7/28/2006 09:59

Anita, it's good to see you posting today. I pray that our Father in Heaven will turn His face toward you today and give you peace. God bless you today on Joshua's birthdate; may you have good memories of him and his past birthdays. I love you and wrap my arms around you today to give you love and support.
Charlene


Shaner
7/28/2006 12:56

Dear honorandglory, thank you so much for posting here, we always appreciate it so much when someone take's the time to come here and post a prayer, which I share with all. May God bless you in whatever it is He know's you need today,
Love & Angel Hugs,
Sandy
Shane's Mom


Shaner
7/28/2006 13:00

Thank you dear sisters for your prayers, they are truly appreciated and it's so heartwarming to know that we can count on each other to lift us up in prayer when needed. Unfortunately I missed my sister's phone call this morning, telling me about the surgery, if they got the tumor out, but she's going to call back later today and I'll know more then.
Love you all!!
Sandy


Shaner
7/28/2006 13:04

Our dear Anita, I know today is a special day for you, your beloved Joshua's Birthday, God love you. I pray that happier memories surface today for you, but if you feel like crying, you go right ahead my sister, you have every right to. I pray you feel your Joshua around you today,
Lots of love & Tender Hugs,
Sandy

 
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