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Shane Whalen
This Prayer Circle is Dedicated to my son Shane Whalen Who Passed Away On March 15, 1999 at the Age of 24, & All Other Children


Start a prayer circle for bereaved parents who have lost a child.


There are many of us out there who have lost a child, and it is devastating. It changes the outlook on life, plunges you into a depression, and you think that the feelings and thoughts you have nobody else could possibly relate to. I think a prayer circle for bereaved parents would only benefit us and help us on our journey of grief. This Circle is one of Love, where a Grieving Parent can safely come to for Prayers, and to talk about their feelings.

 
Shaner -10/14/2000
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arqt
7/11/2006 12:05

Lord, give me the right words to say
To broken hearts that come my way
To those who have been hurt before
That, I not hurt them any more


To those whose hearts have hardened up
To those who won't hold out their cup
That, Lord, You long to overflow
With love and mercy. Lord, let me know


That I might have the words to say
That I might plant a seed today
That glory would be given to You
Through all I say and all I do





Lord, give me the right words to say
More hearts are breaking every day
They're out there crying in the night
I long to help them see the light


But, fragile are those souls and weak
So this is why Your words I seek
And pray Thee give me words to say
That I, not one soul, turn away.

~ by Susan Tier ~


Shaner
7/12/2006 08:24

Oh our dear Donna, this is such a touching Poem, really pull's at the hearstrings, it's so beautiful! Thanks for sharing it with us all sweetie.
Here you are, in pain, dealing with your own health problems and taking the time to Post this for everyone, may God bless you abundantly!
You have a very tender, loving heart dear one and it shine's on these pages,
Much love, prayers & Angel Hugs,
Sandy


Shaner
7/12/2006 08:30

Our dear Sue, this is YOUR Circle too, you are and always will be, a cherished member of it, so yes, please post whenever you want, the wider the Circle, the more love and support that flows from it,
Much love, prayers & Angel Hugs,
Sandy


Shaner
7/12/2006 08:46

Hi dear sis Charlene, oh, how very tragic, I can't even fathom the thought of losing 4 of your precious children, let alone how much pain the Parents, family must be going through.
There was also a family in our City that lost their 4 yr. old to a drowning in a swimming pool, you're so right, when I hear of these losses I think of all the pain and grief ahead for them and how their live's will forever be changed.
No, nobody want's 'membership' in this exclusive club, but we who have started on our own Journey, can relate and know more than other's can.
Of courseeveryone care's about you here, never doubt that, everyone here is important and I can always feel the love coming through all Posts, it feel's like a warm, fluzzy blanket covering me and it renew's my sagging spirit and help's me through my own valley days,
Much love, prayers & Angel Hugs,
Sandy


arqt
7/12/2006 11:07

Dearest Sandy, thanks ever so much for those kind words! God must have whispered in your ear, because I certainly needed them today. I finally broke down and called the doctor about all the excessive fluid retention and muscle aches and pains. I had hoped it was a side effect of my meds and he would just change some of them. I guess when you are already on 80mg of lasix for fluid, and you are still retaining fluids, it's not what the doctor wanted to hear. When he returned my phone call, he said they need some more blood work. (my regular check up is a month away) The 'fear' overtook me and I guess satan was toying with me. I started feeling like I didn't 'matter' enough to anyone anyway. Your sweet words reassured me that I do matter. I cannot begin to understand why God chose me to have this incurable kidney disease, I just have to have faith that He knows what He is doing. The thought that someone else will be called Home to save me, it just breaks my heart. Prayers for when the day comes that I do need a kidney are appreciated. With no job, and no health insurance, I may be the one to go Home. To God be the Glory!

Be Blessed!
Donna


arqt
7/12/2006 16:04


"All of us, without exception,
pass through times when we can pray
only with the greatest exertion of will.
Occasionally we go even further than this.
We are seized with a rebellion so sickening
that we simply won't pray.
When these things happen we should not think
too ill of ourselves.
We should simply resume prayer as soon as we can,
doing what we know to be good for us."
©1952AAWS, Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, p. 105

This really spoke to me today. Let's not be too hard on ourselves when we are having 'valley days'.

Be Blessed!


sue64
7/12/2006 19:51

Thanks everyone for the prayers . Things are looking better with my diabetes. Hasn't gone over 350 in a few days. That;s good for me. The Prayers worked. Thanks. I have another good story also.. I WENT TO CHURCH THIS EVENING FOR THE FIRST TIME SINCE MY SON GARY'S DEATH---YOU DON'T KNOW HOW GOOD IT FELT!!!!! I PLAN TO GO ON SUNDAY MORNING ALSO. I give the credit you ladies & men (if any) . I was so I guess angry at God that I blamed him for taking Gary . I have 2 yrs. of catching up with The Good Lord. I read through a few pages of posts & the love & support you give each other & complete strangers is just unbelievable. Give yourselves a big pat on the back. I tell ya, you sure helped me in more ways that you know. Be Proud of yourselves. this is a GREAT CIRCLE. My love to all. Take Care & Be healthy.
Sue64


havelost4
7/12/2006 20:02

Oh Sue, I'm so proud of you for taking that first step in going back to church; I'll be praying that this will be the first of many! Don't expect this to be the end of your grieving or the end of your problems, but it will help; at least it is a step in the right direction! I read in a devotion last week that admitting that you are grieving is the first step on your journey toward healing; also that we can't go around grief, we must go through it--each at our own pace and in our own ways. I thought that was good and it helped me; I hope it helps you too.
Love you!
Charlene


Shaner
7/13/2006 10:33

Aw, our dear Donna, you DO matter and I'm so happy that God used me as His vehicle to let you know that!! It's understandable that you have some bad days, especially with your health problems, anyone would! I'm also glad to hear that you phoned your Dr. and he want's you pronto to get some blood work done, please let us know how you're feeling, WE care. Praise God there are people in this world that donate their organs so others can have a better life, I pray you receive that call soon!
I'm not too familiar with Health Care in the U.S., surely there must be something in place for those who can't afford it and i pray that God steer's you to that!
I don't know why either, sweetie, it's one of those things that we just trust God in and know one day we'll have the answer. Some of us here have read a terrific book that you may like, it's called "When Bad Thing's Happen to Good People" by Rabbi Harold Kuschner, your local Library probably has a Copy.
Always remember you're in our heart, love and prayers - and lots of Hugs too,
Sandy


selvam
7/13/2006 19:54

Hi my dear sisters. I am so sorry I have not been posting for a few days, I have been working very long hours but Thank God it is back to normal now, I will try to catch up with the postings, but I just want you all to know that my love and prayers has not stopped. My dear sister DONNA, I am so sorry that you are going through this illness, please try to get help with your social Security Office, if you have no insurance, I am sure they can help you, there is always a way my dear sister, nobody will deny medical assistance to you. My daughter Solange was an organ donor, she saved a lot of lives and the only one that kept in touch with me, through a lot of work I should say, was the man who received her kidneys, we managed to beat the system, in some states like Florida, they will not release the name of the donor or recipient, but through a lot of effort and time we manage to finally get in touch, it took an Angel to do that, I am sure that our sister Sandy remembers the ordeal and "the Miracle" when we got in touch with each other, there are lots of people there who are organ donors, I am one of them of course, just keep the faith my dear sister, God knows what to do, don't give up, just hang on to Him and He will find the way. Oh how I wish I could help you, but remember "Prayers works" and we will storm Heaven with our prayers for you. Charlene, Anita, Ms V. and my dear Angel in Chief and all of my dear Angel sisters, I promise that I will again keep in touch, again forgive me for not posting, but my prayers and love are still here. My love and prayers. Selva


selvam
7/13/2006 20:01

My dear Sue, please don't feel guilty about getting angry at Our Lord, I am sure He understands our anger, after all we are only humans and we are going through the worse pain anybody can imagine, like people say "the worse parent's nightmare", I get angry at Him sometimes, but then I just pray for Him to give me strenght and He does, I still don't know how I've survived for 47 months, only with His Strenght, Solange is my only child, I have no one else, I will never be a grandma, a mother in law, but I will always be a mother, that love is Eternal and not even death can take that away from us. So glad that you went to church and felt better, just seek His Light and Love, no matter where. Love you sister. Selva


selvam
7/13/2006 20:24

Hi my dear sister Charlene. You are so right, we have to go through the grief, I am still under therapy, and what my pshyco always tells me is, don't avoid the pain, when it comes really heavy, just feel the pain, cry if you must, feel the pain in your heart, and it is so true, we really know what a "heart ache" means, I feel this pain deep inside my heart that I know only we understand, sometimes, when I'm in front of people who just can't understand, I try to keep my pain inside, but sometimes I just can't hold the tears, my advise to everybody is, just let those tears flow my sisters, it is not good for us to hold them back, just feel the pain, it is the only way to go on, we can not fight it, it is overwhelming, and after all, we have every right to let it out. I will continue with my prayers for you all, there is one thing that I am certain off, no matter how angry I get at God, He always listens to our prayers, He just smiles when we get angry at Him, He really doesn't mind, He is so Great. Love you my dear sister. Selva


selvam
7/13/2006 20:30

My dear dear Angel in Chief. Thank God that I am getting back to normal at work, I came home at regular time today for the first time in so many weeks, the rain finally stopped this evening and we are supposed to have "nice , humid, hot and sunny weather" tomorrow, good for the turists, but I am glad, everytime it rains I get worry about Solange driving in this weather, I still just can not accept that she doesn't have to drive anymore, OMG, i am sure that his pain will never ease. Love you my dear dear sister who understands so much. Selva


Shaner
7/14/2006 06:22

Hi our dear Sue, now that IS good news that your Readings have come down!! Keep at it, Diabetes is a serious thing to have, I know, my hubby has it and has to inject himself 2 x daily with Insulin.
Well that's terrific, I'm so happy for you - going back to Church and enjoying it!! Many Mom's get angry with God when they lose their child, it's a natural stage to go through, but God is big enough to handle the anger, He love's us SO much and want's to be there for us in our pain and grief. Being able to release the anger is a big step, bravo to you, dear one!
Thank you for your very kind word's, everyone who post's here has made the Circle what it is and we truly believe that God has blessed it, to Him be the Glory! Gosh yes, there's a lot of history in these back pages here, as I've said before, I never dreamt it would become the Circle it is today - but God did, :-)
Take good care of yourself!
Much love, prayers & Angel Hugs,
Sandy


Shaner
7/14/2006 07:21

Hi my dear sister, yes, I remember so welll how it all came together for you all and you were able to meet one of Solange's recipients! I know God had a big Hand in that one!
Yes, my dear sister, I'm very happy that thing's at work have slowed down temporarily for you, you were putting in long hours and weekends, so this weekend you get some R & R.
Well, join the Club, ha, ha, we're still in the hazy, hot humid stage, yep, good for the tourists, our downtown is crawling with them and I can just imagine how many Miami has :-).
That's OK my dear sister, we only learn how to deal, accept one thing at a time and you've accepted a lot already, so it's alright to be 'worried' about Solange, old habits die hard and even though your mind tell's you she is in a wonderful safe place, your heart is speaking louder. Tomorrow is the 15th, and next month is Solange's heaven Date, so it's only natural you're experiencing valley days, God love you. I have every 15th of the month marked off, how many months it's been, but now I can't look at it anymore, too painful.
Tomorrow our dear Marci has her special day, the 15th is another date that affect's her too.
Love you my dear, dear sister,
Always in my prayers and lots of Hugs,
Sandy


havelost4
7/14/2006 08:51

Hi all!
I've been reading about grief and when I get the same information from 2 different sources, I know that I need to pay attention. Just this week I've heard and read that a major loss (such as a child) can trigger grief for EVERYTHING in the past that you haven't grieved for. Wow! Do I know how that is! But, it can also be the loss of a job, pet, home, etc. If we haven't allowed ourselves to grieve FULLY for EVERYTHING in our lives that we've 'lost', we will grieve for them now. And that will prolong (and compound) our journey through grief. Now, when I start crying and don't know specifically why [and , of course, we women seem to do that anyway :o)] I remember that I might be grieving for anything at all and that makes me feel better; knowing that it's okay to cry helps me know that I'M okay. I don't know if I've made my point clear or not, but this really helped me and I hope it helps you all too!
Love you all today!
Charlene


missmouse747
7/14/2006 13:58

For Rochelle,
I pray for a fresh start with YOUR daughter always being in your heart.
I wish you peace and happiness always.
Your cousin
I pray that she is looking down on us all from heaven, she was an angel here
and would be no less in heaven.


missmouse747
7/14/2006 13:59

please release the grieving parents and families from the grip of their pain.
Please help them to remember their child and have peace at last
Amen


selvam
7/14/2006 21:21

Hi my dear sister Charlene, yes anything can trigger the pain for all our losses, but there is a significant thing in all that, when we loose a child, all of those losses becomes little issues, we no longer deal with those issues, we have a big problem now, so the rest becomes little issues that we can no longer deal with, I am sorry but I say it like it is, yes I am so very honest, I used to have a lot of issues, I came to this country very very young, without my parents, so I had to deal with a lot of issues, I though I had a lot of problems, you have no idea how many of them, I was 14 years old, never wanting to come here and because of Castro my parents sent me here, OMG I had to deal with a lot of issues, like "No Pets No Cubans" and that was only a little part of it, but when I lost my only child Solange, that became just like it is, "little issues", nothing my dear sister can be compare to my loss, that its a problem, the rest, I forgot about it, I could write a book about problems, but it comes to this: I lost my only child, my dear Angel Solange, the rest it is just garbage, I will give my life just to hug my daughter again, I have no toher problems, and ha ha, I do like everybody else, but that it is not a problem, my only problem its hugging and kissing my daughter again, so all of you have to realize, that we have no other problems, God will take care of that, our problem is to be reunited with our childs again. Please forgive me for being so d... honest, I am known for this in our Circle of Love, I just say what I feel inside. Yes feel the pain my dear sister, it is the only way we can go through this, cry if you must, get angry, take time for yourself, just lie in bed and forget about everybody else, guess what? we have to do what we have to do, and God will help us no matter what. Love Selva


selvam
7/14/2006 21:41

Hi MissMouse747. Thanks for posting here and Thanks for posting for Rochelle, we all understand about that pain that she is going through, you can count on our prayers for Rochelle, she needs all the love and understanding that we all share in this Circle of Love, that is so good of you for posting for her, I am sure you really mean how sorry you are for her loss. Be sure that you can count on us, our prayers will be there for her. Love Selva


selvam
7/14/2006 21:47

My dear Angel Sisters. I know that God listens to prayers, please my dear sisters lets pray for the people in Israel and Lebanon in this horrible time that they are going through, lets pray for Peace in this world, let that all the hate will be dismished, all gone from this Earth, let us all live in Peace with one another. Please God, help us to live in Peace, in the name of Mary, please, please, let the wars end. Thank you Lord, AMEN.


Shaner
7/15/2006 08:20

Hello missmouse, yes, thank you for posting here for all of us, we always appreciate it so much when someone take's the time to remember us in their prayers. I'm so sorry to read about Rochelle's daughter, as our dear Selva has said, we will cover the family in prayer and may God's peace and love surround her and the rest of your family at this time. She is looking down from Heaven on all,
Love, prayers & Angel Hugs,
Sandy


havelost4
7/15/2006 09:20

Father God, I come to You today on behalf of our sister Marci for her son Sean's birth date today. Father, I thank You that You are full of love and compassion toward us and that You are our source of hope and comfort. Father, I ask that You fill Marci today with Your love and comfort; ease her heartache today in Jesus' name. Father, fill her mind with good memories of Sean-Michael; happy memories spent with him through their years together. Father, I also ask that You would comfort the rest of her family as they remember Sean today. Father God, fill her with Your peace; the peace that passes all understanding that only You can give, as she's probably looking ahead to Sean's heaven date so soon on Aug. 9th. Father, help us to remember her in our prayers and thank You in advance for answering our prayers on her behalf. Thank You, Father, for the sake of Your only Son, Jesus Christ. Amen..
Love you today sis!
Charlene


Shaner
7/15/2006 09:24

Hi our dear Charlene, I'm happy you found those articles relevant and they brought you a measure of peace. Now when you're crying and didn't know why before, what you've read may very well apply to you, so go ahead and cry and let it out!
I've already experienced losses in my life, my Mother, God rest her soul, passed away at the young age of 52 and I grieved for her, my father, God rest his soul, passed away at 54, too young also, and I grieved for him, my beloved Grandparents, friends that I grieved over, I thought I knew what grief was until I lost my Shane, everything else I had gone through was nothing compared to the excruciating pain I lived with 24/7 during those early year's. None of my other losses could even begin to prepare me for what layed ahead. Everything else became a far distant secondary over the pain and grief of losing my precious son. I still have day's when I cry over him, I miss him so, so much, and I always will.
I can see how the article would be helpful to those who've never grieved over any of their losses, that's why it's important to not stuff anything in and let it out, however small it may seem at the time (loss of job, house, etc.)
I've been able to grieve over any other loss I've experienced, and now, they all pale in comparison after suffering the ultimate of losses.
So you keep letting it out,
Much love, prayers & Angel Hugs,
Sandy

 
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